Simon Sinek on Learning How Not to Manage People

what did you learn in your first job after college that is still relevant today strangely enough I learned how not to manage people my first job out of college I had a boss who believed it was appropriate to berate people to get the most out of them and I remember this is a true story I actually sat down with her we used to have these sort of monthly career updates you know and she literally said to me you have no talent quote unquote and I went none and she said none you know and the good news was I thought that was funny could you kind of nun like if you told me I only could do one thing that actually probably would've hurt more but nothing you know nothing and so I really paid attention as to how she managed and the rest of my career did the complete opposite uh yeah give me an example I but you know I think that pointing out people's strengths is a lot better than telling them they have no talent also she had this belief that if you don't look harried and insane then you then you might then you're not working hard you know so I remember pretending that I was like stressed out whose have I sauntered down the hallway and said hi to people she thought I was doing nothing right so I started pretending he's like I can talk I can talk and that way she thought I was very busy and she left me alone yeah honesty in management you know treating people with respect being honest about what they they can and can't do and committing yourself to helping people not not hurting people or pushing them down has been more effective for me sometimes at work it's not what's happening at work for a lot of stressed-out managers especially it's what's happening outside of work how do you try to figure out where the sources of the issue may be to cut past some of the challenges you face communicating when I was entry-level having empathy for my boss didn't factor in you know not knowing anything about sort of my place in the company etc but as I've as I've grown up I realized that the only motivation for any kind of confrontation whether you're the one who's confronting someone because you feel that they have done something wrong or whether you're confronting them because you feel that you've been wronged you know the only the only motivation is empathy and so even if someone has is coming down on me hard or being unreasonable or being you know I've I'm not perfect at it but I've worked really hard to approach it with you you know confronting them that they've hurt me or it so that I feel wronged but but immediately go into the considering that maybe there's something that's bothering them and and that has proved to be really helpful and and we do it in life I mean for example you know somebody sitting next to you on the subway is you know slouched back their legs open and your immediate sort of reaction is to think what an ass you know but to the idea of practicing and say well maybe had a hard day less like yesterday and it's exhausted and he just doesn't want to deal you know maybe he doesn't want to talk to people you know and and so to to really just sort of have empathy for for the world around you it's it's kind of powerful and people respond to you a lot better as well because basically everybody wants to feel safe and so if you have empathy you you give that to people up or down the chain of command I mean we we as employees want to feel safe and those our boss's responsibility to give us that but at the same time bosses want to feel safe they don't want to feel that there's insurrection you know that that's brewing and and for us to let them know that we've got their back as much as we want them to let us know that they have ours is equally as important and I believe there is responsibility of a manager but there's a responsibility of an employee as well you know it's like the kids have to do chores at home you know it's the kind of same thing it's like we all it takes all of us yeah the hierarchy doesn't doesn't mean that only the guys above are the ones with responsibility we all we all have to contribute you

Channel: Capture Your Flag

Views: 494,412

Rating: 4.9371676 out of 5

Keywords: simon sinek, managing teams, leaders eat last, manage confrontation at work, managerial effectiveness, erik michielsen, capture your flag, entry-level job experience, leadership, career development, career coaching, career advice, Job (Quotation Subject), Management (Field Of Study), Empathy (Quotation Subject), Simon Sinek (Author), Career Development (Literature Subject), Manager (Profession), Manager (Job Title), Learning (Quotation Subject), Near Peer

Id: dnbf2pqyeQo

Length: 4min 15sec (255 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 09 2014