This is how kids are raised in Japan ♪music♪ Are you ready Wolfy? Yeah? Yeah
[laughter] So it's been a crazy last five months If you don't already know we just recently released a video of Wolfy and his "Day in the Life" a few weeks ago We will leave links in the description This whole process the last five months has kind of opened our eyes to how Japanese raise their children And we wanted to specifically
talk about that in this video Maiko is Japanese I am Filipino-American
raised in the States We wanted to share what we're going through here in Japan trying to raise Wolfy You know some of the surprises that we've had along the way, especially surprises for me
because Maiko grew up in Japan so she experienced a lot of this, but this is what the stereotypical way to raise a Japanese kid would be But again it doesn't apply to
everyone, everyone's different Also, we wanted to know what you guys thought
about some of these things that we're going to talk about How it applies to your country,
how it relates to your country Maiko: And in this video I decided to join because I did experience
being raised in Japan and I have Japanese parents So I just wanted to share my experience
with you guys Before we start, if you wanna support the channel
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Japan or your Japan travels, check out the Discord
community right here Wanna say hello to
everyone before you go? - Hey everyone!
- Hey~ There you go,
he's such a smiley boy Love you! Bye Bye! So this one is kind of crazy Japanese moms spend only 2 hours away from their baby each week Whereas compared to
American mothers, they'll spend 24 hours
away from their babies Basically there's no time ever where the baby is apart from the mom At least in Japan Why do you think that is? Well in Japan, babysitters are not so common I mean, it's changing nowadays since there's more working mothers But back in the days I think there were no babysitters and people expected
mothers to almost "suffer" And to give up everything for the baby, was actually a good thing They value the "suffering" of mothers Paolo: So basically,
you're a more respected mother if you are sacrificing for
the babies and for the kids That's kind of surprising to us,
but times are changing so that's not necessarily the case
for some parents these days But it's still one of the mindsets that a lot of the parents have in Japan The next thing was I don't know if it was
much of a shocker, but I anticipated it because of
the size of our apartment The sleeping arrangements
here in Japan and sleeping in the same room
with your baby and your child In fact, if you've seen our
"Day in a Life" video with Wolfy then you'd know he sleeps
in the same room with us Not in the same bed, but he has a crib right next to our bed I think about 88% of kids
between 0 and 3 years old sleep in the same room
with their parents and about 68-69% of kids sleep in
the same bed as their parents But it's common for kids to be in
elementary school and still be staying in the
same room with their parents or maybe even the same bed until they're like
10 years old or something For me, when I was a kid our house wasn't that big, but since we had 3 kids we used to sleep together
in the same room We would call it a "Kawa no Ji" "We sleep like a kawa no ji" means we sleep next to eachother Paolo: So I think one of the
differences in Japan is that they don't have beds, but futons
Maiko: Oh, that's true Paolo: So you have this bedroom
with tatami mats where people lay out
their futon mattresses - And it's not just beds lying around--
- That's right like you're in an orphanage Yeah it's on the ground,
it's on the floor In our case, we moved My parents built a new house when I was in early elementary school That's when I got my room So I think it really depends on the family for when you get your own room Usually it happens in elementary school
or junior high at the latest, I think Paolo: We'll decide as Wolfy gets older
he's almost six months now, so we'll see So this one kind of
piggybacks off that one It's taking a bath with your parents, especially the opposite sex, and how long they do it here in Japan For example, right now we're just giving
him a bath separately But I think at the age of 3-4 months that's when parents start
to take baths with their kids, like that young, to soak them in the bath or give
them a proper bath together But this continues on
and the facts show here, that all the way up until maybe age ten 22% of moms and sons
take baths together and when they're 12: 14% all the way to 15 years old with 3% that's 3 out of a 100 kids will take a bath with their mom
at 15 years old You'd be shocked
as a Japanese as well - I'm pretty shocked
- The Japanese as well This was kind of weird, it says for over 20 years old: 6% Maiko: Wow
Paolo: Yeah, that's pretty shocking The next one is father and daughter up to 8 years old it says 14% and to 10 years old, 25%
still take baths with their dad How old were you when you
took a bath with your dad? I actually don't remember,
but I remember I felt kind of weird That's one of the things How is it in your country? Let me know in the comments This one is more of a general thing when they're growing up and how to teach them
or correct your child when they do something wrong And kind of show them the way In Japan, typically they show
a lot more empathy when teaching their children For example, instead of saying "You did something wrong"
or "You're gonna get arrested" it's more like, "How is that going to make
the other kid feel when you take their toys
or you do something", right? - So it's more of a show of empathy
- Yeah, exactly How I was brought up, or how my mother
taught me when I did something wrong was usually to think of other
people's feelings, "He's hurt, you don't want to do that" or let's say I'm screaming and jumping
around in a public place, then my mother would be like, "Don't bother people" Not only the feelings, but also the idea that you don't
want to bother other people We would say
"Meiwaku wo kakenai" It's like how it's gonna make other's feel You don't wanna disturb harmony, you don't want to disturb
the peace, or everyone's quiet Yeah, always think about others "Life theme" of Japan Paolo: It's not like "Oh you're gonna get arrested" or
"You're breaking the rules" Maiko: No, you should never say that Paolo: I think it's great to be able
to get along with the group, but then at the same time, as someone always trying
to get along with the group you kind of lose your opinions
and your thoughts And you don't actually
think on your own You're always thinking,
"What does the group want or think" Maybe we have a bit of
a mix in there so that our son considers the group and is empathetic
and wants the best for the group but also his own opinions about things And maybe it'll be okay for him
to stick out once in a while Yeah, totally To be honest, I grew up and always
having to think about others and having to put other's feelings
before what I wanted to do So I never got to do what I wanted You know what I mean? That sucked, so...
[laughter] It's like "I feel bad for her so I guess
I'm not gonna do that" You know? That will make you lose your personality or lose your identity If that makes sense You won't develop your
own uniqueness - Yeah
- We'll see Before we continue, I wanted to give a quick
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Japanese snack box from Bokksu and save up to $47 using my code: PAOLO10 Link in the description That said, let's continue on with the list Another interesting thing about
Japanese culture and raising kids is that discipline is
not only from parents, but also from groups meaning that you'll go to school
or you'll join clubs and the discipline is shared
throughout the community So it's not just from your parents which could be a good or bad thing I guess, maybe in some cultures you know the parents are the ones
responsible for the discipline but in Japan it's a
shared communal thing Maiko: Yeah, as I grew up
I was always in that environment, that I had to follow the rules That applies at school, at clubs,
and after-school school So I think if you're in Japan, you're naturally going to be disciplined Paolo: I think what's also interesting is even as a little kid in school, you clean all together I'll be walking by nurseries
and see kids wiping down the entrance of the school
and wiping down the-- - Elementary school?
- A nursery or something Maiko: I feel like I started
in elementary school But yeah, it's good to learn how to
be responsible for your own room Paolo: The kids could barely
stand and were wiping So cute
[laughter] They were teaching them
how to wipe the windows - They're probably not good at cleaning
- No, they were terrible at cleaning - They're learning
- They're learning So cute They teach them at such a young age To sum it all up, the parents don't have to
discipline the child by themselves They have the community,
they have the schools, they have the circles, and
they have the clubs to help discipline But this one was
another surprising thing, especially walking around in Tokyo which is a massive city Seeing kids walk to
school by themselves You know they're small They're probably five or six years old and they're walking to school
by themselves in the city Not only are they walking, but they're taking the trains,
they're taking the buses and they're all by themselves When Wolfy is five years old we're gonna let him walk
around the city all by himself When you were growing up
did you walk around by yourself? Maiko: I did I am from the really countryside and there were big kids
in the neighborhood So we would meetup in the morning
and then all go together And the big kids always
watch out for the little kids So I think it was pretty safe Paolo: In that case,
the kids walked as a group it wasn't like they were individual But I've seen cases where
I've seen kids by themselves Maiko: Yeah in Tokyo, on the train and the bus,
I see them by themselves Paolo: We'll have to see
whether or not that's okay for us But it seems relatively safe,
I think it'd be okay I mean, good thing we put
that GPS tracker in-- [laughter] This next one was a pleasant surprise and it's how healthy
kids eat here in Japan - Right?
- Very healthy Very healthy compared to the states I don't know about other countries
and what they serve for lunch In Japan, they have 'kyushoku' Do you wanna explain more about it? Kyushoku is usually served for
elementary school and junior high Maybe some preschools,
I don't know, maybe not About 92% percent of schools use it So basically almost all of
the schools are using kyushoku - Right?
- Yeah It's very balanced and the menu
changes every single day They have a nutritionist plan
everything out every month The kyushoku company
actually cooks it and serves it Paolo: So what would you have? What you get in kyushoku
is very balanced Usually carbs, soup,
a main dish, and side dishes I don't remember exactly,
but for example white rice with green peas on top Miso soup with mushrooms,
tofu, and seaweed Main dish would be hamburger steak The side dish would be
spinach and sesame and some kind of pickles or something It's not the same everyday,
it would alternate throughout the week so you have an entire
month's worth of menu Yeah, everyday is different And oh, you get milk And what's interesting is that
the monthly fee is about-- Oh, it's so cheap! - About 4,300 on average
- Something like that, yeah That's for elementary school and about 4,900 yen for junior high I wanna get that too
[laughter] It's so cheap! Paolo: It's because they're producing
meals for 92% of the schools in Japan - They make it in volume
- Yeah Maiko: Moms don't have to
think of the menu everyday or cook Making a bento is so much work Paolo: But that's still
something that they do A lot of moms post about their bento Maiko: I know they do, but on weekends Kyushoku is provided
during compulsory education I remember in my school we had
pizza, cheese burgers, and tater tots The cheese burger was small
and not very delicious The schools are trying to kill you Yeah, it was just the
most unhealthy food ever I'm glad that Wolfy has healthy options But if we decide to make food
for him then that's pretty cool And I think overall it teaches
kids good food education - Right?
- Yeah So they know "This is not good for me,
I shouldn't eat it" Maiko: I think at least you think
of kyushoku as a standard Not healthy, but standard food
you should have in a meal Paolo: I think this last one maybe will haunt us if Wolfy
ever watches this video It's not out of the ordinary for kids
to grow up with their parents and live with them after graduating
from high school and college Very common In fact, for 18-34 year old single men about 69% of them
still live with their parents I think for women it's about 59% It's common, I mean 34 years old
and still living with your parents is quite a big deal
in some Western counties, but in Japan it's normal Maiko: I wouldn't get surprised
if somebody tells me "Oh, I live with my parents" I'd be like "Oh, okay" But a Western person would
have a different reaction, right? Yeah Wolfy if you're watching this you might be living with us at 34
[laughter] That concludes the video If you like this video
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