Sheila Walsh: Healing Internally After A Traumatic Event | FULL EPISODE | Better Together on TBN

and it was just this beautiful way of God saying believe it or not I was there in those worst days yeah and you've never lived an unloved moment in your life and I'm here now and I'm going to walk you through this process honestly I would go through all of that again for the way that I've seen Christ redeem it I think one of the moments that surprised me the most um when it comes comes to Inner healing or um looking back over my life in reflection I can recall um I think it was after I got married and it was after having four children and it was the moment of recovery after the twins because I I had four girls under the age of two and it was the last pregnancy third pregnancy and the bonding with my kids got a little more challenging um and when it came to intimacy with my husband I started to become a little more erratic like my body would shut down um in the most intimate moments and at the same time you feel like you're having an outof Body Experience viewing yourself from the outside almost like a third party and you you see your body begin to just close up begin to distance itself and I was not aware that my body was automatically just protecting itself constantly without my permission and that was the moment in self-reflection that I can see that something was manifesting in my life that I had no control over my body was responding without my permission without my engagement and I became so self-aware that um it would take you know some time to try to bring myself back weeks and spells of two weeks that I'm good two weeks that I'm I'm really poor in my physical health and my mental health the the self-narrative that I would speak to myself it was like almost like the climax of of the point of where I realize there's something wrong with me and I need to fix it really fast or else I'm my marriage won't last wow so I I can remember just digging out of the pit of wholeness healing what does that look like I couldn't afford counseling couldn't afford medication especially being young in marriage you're building your life you're working those are the shades of what it looks like to feel very disabled on the inside so what is healing to me healing means like James chapter 1 it says that consider it all joy when you go through various trials and tribulation because if you allow perseverance and perseverance has has its perfect work you will be complete and lacking nothing I Fel I felt very incomplete I felt very ill equipped I felt very half full instead of the fullness of God right and so um that's that's the beginning of the Journey of of my healing of what healing looks like it's the complet were you able to trace where that began what the root of that was and it was it was abuse you know abuse I was abused by the age of three all the way to the age of 12 and this was by my stepdad and his um and his son which is my stepbrother and also a family friend which was like almost like a God parent so to speak so three individuals that targeted my life and and I think the manifestation of all of that just the coping mechanisms that I work through all my life that it helped me during the time where I was being abused where it would you know I would my body would protect itself would just shut down wall up you know lock it up you know whatever to survive yeah and so um looking back at it now you you begin to see okay I needed health I need wholeness I need healing and that I did receive as soon as I started to engage in that impr press through that how many women have that story you know in the world today there's there's um people are broken people are emotionally wrecked inside Y and so this week we're going to talk about how God wants to heal those broken places yeah down deep in our souls so what' you do I remember the first instinct that I received from the Holy Spirit was you know just go Outdoors Diana just go Outdoors don't stay indoors go Outdoors so I started going outdoors with all of my four kids and a triple stroller one on a leash and I'm like okay I'm just trying to survive so I'm pushing the stroller trying to be outside getting vitamin D because I was susceptible for like low moments in my life so I needed that um I needed a friend I remember in college one of the choir members just happened to work in the counseling center on campus and she said oh you know whenever whenever you want to chat just come over and chat and I distinctly remember sharing the story with her of my life and it was almost like sequence order and for many abuse survivors they need to share their story yes it's like chronologically you know a time pattern in sequence and the more you tell it the more it sets you free and so it that was the beginning of just the journey I was interested when Diana said that the more you tell your story the more it sets you free and I think there's so much truth in that because some we hold our story in you know and it's attached to shame and we think we're the only one I remember the first time I spoke out loud about the fact that I I'm diagnosed with clinical depression and I mean I remember thinking I was waiting for like a lightning bolt or for the audience to clear out what was so interesting to me was at the end of that particular conference I stood in line for maybe an hour an hour and a half listening to women tell me their story saying things like I've never heard anyone tell my story out loud that I think that's when you when you're healed enough to be able to tell your story it's where you begin to see the Redemption of Christ that like at the end of the story of Joseph what the what you intended for evil God intended for good that I I recommend that when when wounds are fresh then then we don't just share our story we need time to to find the level of healing but then when we are in a place where we're able to share our story not only does it set us free but we have the joy of seeing God use it to set other people free too there's power in words yeah there's power in um Proverbs I think is it says you know a joyful Spirit a right mind um that when you have a healthy mind and a healthy attitude oh there's healing oh but woe to the person who has a broken spirit because it's like disease in the bones you know what it's it's it's funny cuz um you mentioned taking medication and I've long believed that you can't heal spiritual Brokenness with physical tools talk about it now right I mean like our our spirit is so different than our body and we try to medicate the body and it doesn't penetrate the spirit yeah I mean and I I get that where you have people who are dealing with trauma and you're dealing with pain and you're like well if I could just sleep longer if I can just take this pill if I can just take this vacation and you end up doing all those things and it doesn't heal yeah and it's really discovering what you said which is that spiritual healing power that comes in Christ and it comes in the word of God and I think shining the light absolutely and that's what Jesus does for us I remember as a kid we had to go pull the weeds outside my my my daddy would send us out to go pull and we had tumble weeds in Arizona and I remember daddy would have say you got to get it down by the root and you got to pull the root out or it's just going to keep growing you know and I so so I did that many times I have pulled a million weeks but you had to pull by the root and I think that's what I think that's what we have to do in our own lives when there is something that that your mind is continually going back to or you're stuck in a time um of a tragedy or an emotional abuse or whatever you've gone through Jesus wants to shine a light there and he wants to pull that out by the root yeah because he wants to fill every broken piece in our life I love where he says I stand at the door and I knock but we have to let him into those places yeah we have to say come on in Jesus inner healing is so important because you know we're actually triart beings so we are a body uh but we're also a soul and we have a spirit at the intersection of our spirit and our body is our soul and that's where our mind our will and our emotions lives and I think that um the challenge for many of us is we believe that as long as we can act like everything is okay that everything is okay but you know trauma in many ways is like um fingerprints on a glass the fingerprints will stay there until they're wiped off so it doesn't matter if the glass sits there for five years 10 years 20 years uh the fingerprints will stay there it's the same with trauma I think inner healing is so important because inner healing is what wipes away those smudges from the glass it gives us an opportunity uh to start aesh um with a new understanding of who we are so I have this one moment um that literally was like a turning point for me but I didn't see it as that I saw it as one of the worst things that could happen I had been at admitted to a psychiatric hospital because I kind of fell apart I mean I just had a breakdown where I couldn't I couldn't breathe I couldn't walk I couldn't survive so I end up in this hospital and the first morning I meet with uh my therapist and he holds up this chart and had all these words on it sad angry afraid ashamed I mean 20 words and he said to me kelle I want you to come over and in point to the words that you identify with and I looked at the chart and I looked at him and I said I don't identify with any of them I don't I'm not angry I'm not sad I'm not I'm I was just so shut down wow inside that one of the things that when you suppress you know mean my the trauma in my childhood when you suppress fear when you push shame into the basement of your soul which you know says guilt tells me I've done something wrong shame tells me I am something wrong you can't just suppress the bad stuff you suppress the good stuff too yeah and as I looked at that chart and I thought people feel up and stuff and it was it was the beginning of this journey to try and understand why I hated myself so much I mean I'd been a contemporary Christian artist for years I sang a billy grames Crusades I had been a co-host of the 700 Club for 5 years but still still when I looked in the mirror I still saw the little girl whose dad appeared to hate her in the end and that's all that I saw and so that was the beginning see that's what I think about the mercy of God yeah Mercy is such a little word but it weighs so much yeah I would have just gone on like that for the rest of my life but God said no Christ said I've come to give you life not survival not just getting through one more day yes but life that's so good and and I'll never forget I was was there for a month I mean it was one of the most radical months of my life and there was a small group of us maybe like 10 of us that were in at the same time and at the end um the day I was due to leave a therapist said okay guys I want you all to go around the room and tell Sheila what you like about her and I couldn't stand it and he said he got my body language he said okay what is wrong with you I was comfortable facing all that was bad with me you know what I what I didn't want to deal with but suddenly to get positive affirmations for people I was on this journey with was really hard and he said okay you sit there and you open your hands and you open your heart and you listen and it was just this beautiful way of God saying believe it or not I was there in those worst days yeah and you've never lived an unloved moment in your life and I'm here now and I'm going to walk you through this process honestly I would go through all of that again for the way that I've seen Christ redeem it yes because there's a difference between wounds and scars wounds are raw and you need time to heal but when there's scars then you're able to reach out other people and comfort them with the same comfort with which you have been comforted yes but I just I just see the way that God is a redeemer even in the with the worst of childhood trauma right yes he is it's interesting to me how your past can shape the way that you kind of look at life and experience life and the present moment things that were poor choices things that you're like totally ashamed of totally embarrassed of that you just beat yourself up over those can shape the way that you're able to see life now and today and experience for me the fact you know a failed marriage um the whole thing it has given me this ability to um to walk out life with my husband and my kids with this attitude of just gratitude I am so grateful that even through all my junk God saw fit to bless me with an amazing husband who is faithful who um is a great daddy who loves God far more than he could ever love me and it's so powerful when we think of wounds and scars it's like wounds you become the one needing the healing the focus is on you but when it's scars it's like now you can reflect back like the scripture says it's the old Landmark it's a landmark of a previous pain the previous pain that was so um fragile vulnerable and but now you could speak from that place and say I want I want to talk to you about the wound that you're walking through this is the scar that shows proof of God's healing in my life and I'm going to tell yeah it's the proof and the pudding I finished speaking out women's event last year and I noticed there was one gentleman in the audience and I thought maybe he was the pastor just you know kind of listening in make sure I wasn't going to go whack you on the so funny but at the end he had stayed over um in one area and when almost everyone else had gone he came over and he turned his face toward me for the first time and I saw that half of his face was gone oh and and I asked him what his story was and he said when he was 15 years old he put a gun underneath his and in that millisecond between when the bullet left the chamber and entered his skull he heard Jesus say do you want to live and he said yes wow and he's now married with three beautiful daughters and I said to him when you see your reflection in the mirror is it a reminder of that devastating day and he said no it's a daily reminder of the grace of God yes and that's why I think we tell each other our stories because so many women think I'm the only one and that's when the healing can begin is when we acknowledge it and share it because you never know what you are walking through I don't know what you're going through you don't know what I'm going we have to share and bear each other's burdens and walk together you know it's where it says bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ two verses further on it said each man must carry his own load and I said explain that to me Lord I was just reading that it's the word used in Greek for a ship load so it means there's some things that you walk through that are too much to carry by yourself and then the word that's used for carry your own load is what Christ has designed us all to carry but there's situations in life where you're like I can't carry this by myself and that's when we move in to one another's lives but I often ask women in conference okay I want you to imagine this when you walk through these doors suddenly all your baggage became visible and you have to drag it to your seat he said run and I say I'm not talking about your pillow and your snacks I'm talking about the stuff you've buried from childhood but then I say if you saw it would you want to take a home or would you want to take Christ up on that glorious offer at the end of Matthew 11 the last two verses come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden yes and I will give you rest you know going back to this idea of people not knowing what you're carrying um you know I didn't grow up in a Christian home like I didn't hear Jesus God Bible Church any of that until I was invited to church when I was 11 by my classmate in the sixth grade um and I I'll never forget you know when I walked into the church that day those people were so loving and they were so kind but they didn't know that I had survived two suicide attempts like they didn't know that at 9 years old I tried to take my life and at 11 I tried to take my life again because of just all the dysfunction and the trauma and feeling like I didn't matter and um this function was your yeah and like that's why we have to be so careful to not hurt people cuz you just don't know you don't know like you know we get into situations with somebody who's rude to us right and you know our first instinct is to be like wait a minute let me tell you who I am but then we have to take a step back and be like you know what that person is obviously angry because there's something going on in their life it's like how can I be a blessing to them and I've always compared those like deep contrast it's like they have everything but they're bitter and this person has nothing but they're so much better and I've often seen the case of that in life when we are working through healing we've seen people walk through divorce we've seen you know even in my own life people walk through some serious scenarios and yet they have overcome and they have a great way at looking at life my encouragement for all of you is like when we're when we're walking through life it's just focus on being better focus on walking away with something that is that's worth more than becoming the person that you despise the most like we all we've met them we've heard their conversations it's like you want to go and take a shower because they're so negative you know it's like do I want to be that and I think for me if I can be quite honest there was a point in my life that I was so negative I was hard I was hard on myself my kids were small um you know my relationship with my husband it was it was getting tense as the years went on because stuff that I did not resolve and I kept blaming other people instead of looking at me instead of looking at the person in the mirror and actually noticing you know what you're the common denominator in this whole scenario and you are Your Own Worst Enemy so my encouragement to you is just get better get healing you know fight for it you know you don't have a a right to to be negative and unforgiving but you do have a right to healing and so that's that's what I aim for now I I feel better I look better I you know like I have less wrinkles thank you Jesus you know and I don't need Botox Hallelujah all right but but it's the attitude of looking at life with with the glass you know full instead of the glass empty it's having a better attitude and working through tense situations and walking away with a with a better outcome it's hard because you know when we're nursing our own trauma the first thing we want to do is lash out and we don't have tolerance we don't have patience but that's what the love of God is and I mean I think about when Jesus hung on that cross think about this in all of his pain and all of his his trauma before he died he forgave two people who were hanging next to him I know I mean imagine that like you you have enough love walk in that kind of forgiveness it's incredible to me we get ticked off at the person who ran the red light and like what are you doing seriously cut us off what are you doing it's like what I mean what manner of love is that and so to me that's the power of redemption it's like you don't know what somebody is carrying but you love them anyway the truth about pain is that you know it it especially when it causes bitterness um it begins to seep into every area of our life um I've experienced situations where bitterness uh created a lack of joy in my life and as a result good things would happen but I couldn't enjoy them um I couldn't actually experience them because the bitterness had seeped into every area of My Life um it doesn't stay localized resentment does not stay localized this is why we have to let it go this is why we have to forgive um I often think of bitterness as drinking poison and expecting it to to kill the other person it ends up hurting you and so you really do have to let it go or else the beauty that God puts right in front of your eyes will be missed because the lens that you're filtering it through is the pain of your past God always gives us that chance that moment that blink yes that thought and it gives us a choice yeah he does of how to respond or how to react yeah um you know to everything we go through but I love how you framed that it's we're so quick to ask somebody what's wrong with you like what what's wrong with you it's not what's wrong with you it's what happened to you oh that happened to you to make you act that way who hurt you and I think we're so quick to be like oh just cutting people off and blocking people and don't call me anymore so unfollow unfollow man something happened to I love the idea of being a conduit of Grace because we are truly the Incarnation of God's grace on this Earth so how can we extend that to people that hurt us so I don't know what it is you need today I think a lot of us need to be healed in the innermost parts of our heart if you need someone to agree with you I'm here to do that with you today we're going to ask God God himself to walk with us right into those deep dark traumatizing most horrible places those places that you've never let anybody else um allowed in or or to shine a light on we're going to ask Jesus to come into those places and to shed his light and to bring his grace and to receive his Redemption and his salvation to those parts God we give over to you every in our spirits everything in our souls everything in our mind God that you consume Our Lives with your presence God consume our lives with your life and your light and your Holy Spirit Come dwell in those places God perform a miracle inside of our hearts God let us feel your peace let us feel your joy let us realize that everything that we need God we find in you and you alone God and I pray that everybody fills your Embrace today God in the miracle of salv ation the miracle of healing the miracle of peace that passes all understanding God I pray that it's ours today and that we receive you into every area of our life every area of our heart God let us receive you everything that you have for us today in jesus' name

Channel: Better Together on TBN

Views: 14,854

Keywords: dianna nepstad, healing from trauma christian, healing from traumatic childhood, healing trauma, emotional healing, better together, better together tv, Nona Jones, nona jones testimony, sheila walsh, healing from toxicity, godly counseling, Christian talk shows on Youtube, Christian, healing from God, inner healing and deliverance, healing in Christ Jesus, better together tv full episodes, laurie crouch, tbn, BTTVTBN, B2T8, B2E3T8, T8E3R7, L5C2, sheila walsh testimony, ministry, God

Id: nAfyWQ3iQy4

Length: 25min 21sec (1521 seconds)

Published: Thu May 16 2024