Sharpening Your Communication Skills: Part 1 - Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast

this is the Craig Groeschel leadership podcast Sam Craig Groeschel and really thrilled to have you back for another episode of the leadership podcast thank you so much for being part of our leadership community if you're new with us we release a teaching every single first Thursday of the month and what we're gonna do in this episode is we're gonna talk about part one of how do we sharpen our communication skills you may say I'm a leader but not a communicator and the reality is all leaders are communicators so today we're gonna talk about part one about how we get better as communicators I love hearing from you if you want to send in any questions comments ideas thoughts suggestions send them to me at leadership at Life Church I also want to say thank you to those of you who are sharing on social media thank you for writing reviews and rating this also if you want the show notes all the notes of what we cover they're available at Life Church slash leadership podcast you can actually give us your email and we'll e-mail you the notes every single month even before the teaching comes out so before we dive into the teaching what I want to do is answer a couple of your questions is I try to do each month and then we'll do a short teaching your time is valuable so I'll try to honor it let's dive in a couple of great questions lance wrote this he said a leadership style I enjoy but candidly struggle with is servant leadership he said I think many folks confuse it with appearing to be somewhat like passive leadership but I believe it aligns much more closely with empowering leadership it seems to be a delicate walk what are your thoughts lance great question and I absolutely and completely agree with you that when you think about it in years past leadership was more authoritarian in other words I'm the boss you do what I tell you to do if you're a leader you generally exercise power from top down I'm the leader so do this a servant leader has a totally and completely different mindset a servant leader cares about the needs of people and puts their needs at the front of his or her mind and so as a servant leader rather than protecting our power as a leader our goal is to empower others we're not just leading followers but we're leading leaders as a servant leader we're just not leading followers we are empowering and leading leaders and some people may disagree with me but here's kind of how I would rank what people might think of the leader the lowest level would be your team hates you a step up would be your team fears you a step up would be your team likes you another step up would be your team loves you another step up if you're a servant leader your team will trust and respect you what we want to do is we want to serve others so the trust and respect the highest compliment to a leader would be you served me I trust and respect you to be trusted and respected you have to care about people a servant leader leads boldly but always from the heart great question let's deal with another one Holly asked this I love this question Holly wanted to know how do you get your volunteers to think less like volunteers and more like owners I want my volunteer leaders to take ownership of their positions and their team of volunteers fantastic question and this doesn't just apply to volunteers this would apply to all of our team members here's what a lot of people will say if you're the leader you might look at your volunteers or the people on your team and say they don't care like I care they don't see what I see they don't think like I think they don't care like I care they don't think like I think they don't see the way I see caring really matters what someone cares about determines what they can be trusted with what they care about determines what they can be trusted with therefore we want to help empower our volunteers or our team members to care about the things that we care about we want them to think like owners not like employees for example I went to a store one time I was trying to make a purchase for a lot of people I got there at ten minutes to five pm the store said it closes at 5 and the lady there was closing up the store I said can I please come in she said no it's closed I'm like it's 10 minutes early and she said no is I'm closing now and I asked her I said are you the owner knowing full well she would say no she wasn't because she hadn't the mindset of an employee not you know and we want to empower our people to think like owners in the book called turn the ship around the author uses this phrase and I love this he wanted to train those on his ship to say the words I intend to I intend to what we want those who your volunteers or your key leaders we want them to come to you and say I intend to do such-and-such and what that does is you're training them to be active in their thinking I intend to I plan on I will we will these are empowering statements and what we want to do is we want to teach initiative and then what we want to do is get the people who are volunteering or serving with you to anticipate what questions you will ask when they come in and they say I intend to start a new initiative I intend to start a new ministry I intend to recruit new volunteers then we want them to think about what am I going to ask you when you tell me I intend to and what we're doing is we are we are teaching them to anticipate they're forming ownership now they're not followers they're thinking like a leader we're giving them ownership this is so important volunteers will never think like owners unless we give them ownership your employees will never think like owners unless we give them ownership great questions let's dive into the teaching for today this is part 1 of 2 parts we're talking about sharpening your communication skills you might say well I'm not a public speaker if you are a leader you better be working on your speaking skills the first thing we need to recognize is most of us are not nearly as good as we think we are just watch a video of yourself sometime and you recognize oh my gosh I'm not that good I do this all the time and it's incredibly humbling sometimes I'll ask someone who spoke I'll say how did it go and that person will say well I really liked it the bottom line is it doesn't matter how we feel about our speaking the question is was it effective well well I liked it I don't care if you liked it or not are we effective as communicators George Bernard Shaw says this I love this quote he says the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place let me say it again he said the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that has taken place three thoughts if your dotting this down I always tell myself this just because you say something doesn't mean they heard it believe it or we'll do it I tell our communicators all the time just because you said it does not mean that they heard it believe it or we'll do it you can say it all day long but that doesn't mean you're effective in communication how you say it matters just because you said it doesn't mean they heard it believe it or we'll do it so when communicating one of the first rules of effective communication is this we must never ever be me-centered we're always used centered in communication let me say it again we are not me centered we are you centered in communication why is this because people are not thinking about me they're thinking about themselves they're not thinking about you they're thinking about themselves it's not a bad thing it's just a thing and let me give you some examples Friesen for illustration at our church we have something that's called open door it's a place for new people to come and to find out how they can use their gifts get involved in the church so let me give you kind of two invitations the first one is going to be a me-centered or a we centered or an us centered imitation the second one is a youth centered one so the first one is me centered I might say hey you ready I'd love to invite you to come to open door to find out about our church we want you to know about our history what we believe how you can help us do what we're called to do okay that's a me centered way of inviting them now in communication here's basically saying the same thing but from a used centered point of view we might say hey what I want you to know is you matter to us would you consider joining us at a thing we called open door why because we want to get to know you we want to hear your story you might have questions or you have ideas we would love to help you get plugged in so you can make a difference okay essentially the same announcement but from two totally different perspectives the most effective communicators are not going to be me centered we're gonna be you centered in communication now you may not be announcing something at a church you may be running a meeting you may be pitching some kind of idea to office or whatever when people roll into the meeting or when they roll into your planning session let me tell you what they might be thinking about they might be thinking oh my gosh I'm late I hope I'm not in trouble they might be thinking how in the world am I gonna get one kid to soccer and another kid to dance tonight they might be thinking I'm really mad because my husband didn't say goodbye to me this morning they might be thinking I hope my boss that means you doesn't have some stupid idea that's gonna burn out in two weeks other words what they're doing is they're thinking about themselves if someone walks into my church this weekend they might be thinking I hope the cute girl is greeting at the door I can't wait for the donuts I'm stoked to see two friends from work or I'm really nervous because this is my first time and I don't know what I'm gonna think of Church in other words they're thinking about themselves but we need to do is grab their attention we'll talk more about how to do that in next month's podcast but all the time because they're thinking about themselves the most effective communicators will be you centered and communicating now before you communicate anything you're gonna want to answer these three questions crazy important never forget this before you communicate anything you want to answer these three questions number one what do I want people to know number two what do I want them to feel number three what do I want them to do what do I want them to know feel and do again it may seem obvious this is what I want them to know but you have to start there and be very clear on exactly what you want them to know then that's where most people stop you don't just want them to know something but you want them to feel something why because emotion moves people to action what do you want them to feel you may want them to feel motivated you may want them to feel challenged you may want them to feel hopeful you may want them to feel kind of righteously angry but the emotion is what's gonna move them to action so not just what do I want them to know but also what do I want them to feel and then what is the win what do I want them to do and this is really important if you can't define it they won't do it if you can't define it they won't do it so we're not just making an announcement we're leading people to a desired outcome we're not just leading a meeting we're moving people toward a specific focus what do I want them to know what I want them to feel what do I want them to do we're never just communicating we're always leading we're always leading we're always leading great leaders are great communicators great communicators or great leaders we never just communicate we're always leading let's review and then deal with some questions George Bernard Shaw said this the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place just because you said it doesn't mean they heard it believe it or we'll do it so when we communicate we start with the listener in mind we're always you centered in our communication never me centered in communication and before we communicate anything we're gonna ask what do I want them to know what do I want them to feel what do I want them to do because if we can't define it they'll never ever do it we're never just talking we're always leading free application questions number one what is the number one thing you need to communicate to your team during this season super important all the time there's something on the front of my mind the top of my heart that I'm communicating to our team what is the number one thing you need to communicate to your team it might be that they really matter it might be here's what's coming up it might be here's what's working on whatever it is what is the number one thing question 2 how can you become more you centered in your communication think about it all the time everything you say how can you be more you centered in your communication number three what do you want them to know what do you want them to feel what do you want them to do if you want the notes they're available for you at life Dutch Church / leadership podcast next month we're gonna get crazy crazy practical in fact you may want to watch next month because I'll demonstrate a lot remember in communicating and leading and whatever you do be yourself why because people would rather follow a leader is always real the one who's always right thanks for joining us on the Craig Groeschel leadership podcast if you would like access to episode resources just go to WWF Church / leadership podcast there you'll find show notes and so much more our next new episode will be available on Thursday December 1st so be sure to subscribe that way it can come directly to your device we really hope you're enjoying the show and if you are please rate and review us on iTunes and help us spread the word thanks again and we'll see you next time on the Craig Groeschel leadership podcast

Channel: Craig Groeschel

Views: 185,665

Keywords: Craig Groeschel, Leadership Podcast, Life.Church, Life, Church, leader, personal growth, influence, how do i be a better leader, be the leader, be a leader, leadership, leading, lead, sticky ideas, communication, persuasion

Id: 6nNnB1Un774

Length: 14min 34sec (874 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 01 2018