Shappi Khorsandi - Selected clips from The Apollo

this is like one of my family weddings but slightly different color the Apollo makes a difference from usual gigs up I normally play the kind of comedy clubs that when I come on stage men look at me and go oh wait a minute there's a bird some of us get on the stage now without a pole and sometimes I get wolf-whistles which is lovely then we use forget that when I was a bloke well my name is sharpie and sharpey isn't my real name it's just a nickname it's short for sharp had AK i'd change it to Shafi when i was 12 I got sick of being called attack speeches are so cruel and my mom always used to say to me but you know she's foreign sharp addict it means butterfly in Persian ah I looked up in a Persian dictionary it actually means moth it's a bit insensitive bring all these lights up around me if I'm honest with you it's like to see my culture did you get me when you have a really foreign name you have to shorten it so people pronounce it better so I shortened sharp had active Shafi I went to school with a guy called Mir abdelbaki and he shortened his name to Jim I have a cousin called Mohammad and he's had to change his name to her awesome me I am from the Middle East so much the Iranian I was born in Iran and a lot of American people still don't know the difference between Iran and Iraq and I always have to explain to them we're the ones with weapons of mass destruction I don't know if I would have turned out a stand-up comedian in Iran because as you know the Iranian government advocate free speech but there's no freedom after you've spoken it gets a bit defi so I came to Britain in the early 80s we were refugees long before it became fashionable I like friendly a little bit of friendly racism is nice when I was a little girl I always go to my friend Katie's house and every time her dad opened the door I'd go hello Schaffer you've been on holiday so I have a little boy I have a baby boy I'm a mom and I'm looking at you some of you so young I could be your mummy if I lived somewhere rural like a lot of women I got to my 30s and I thought I've got to have a baby now why mum I'm still young enough to look after it for me thank goodness I have a child there was no fun being a broody Iranian woman every time I said to people my body thought sticking they hit the ground my husband's English is from Nottingham and a lot people asked me if my husband's Iranian and I go well he's not he's English please planning to convert his family are absolutely lovely when they first met me they kept doing all Shafi so exotic she's so exotic which means foreign but not on a way that we hate and his grandma's especially sweet when when she found out that I was Iranian she goes oh you're Iranian what a coincidence our next-door neighbors they're Indian I must go round compare spices I'm actually am going on holiday to India next month and I wanted to know what the weather was going to be like there so I phoned my bank I am them I am bilingual I speak fluent Persian and if you're bilingual you use your other language to talk about people so they don't understand right but we mix our languages so much we don't realize we're doing it which defeats the whole object the amount of times I've been out with my mom and she goes and you got called off that it with a red coat must show larger hard-fought it so my my mother-in-law asked me soon after my son was born my mother-in-law asked me so Chevy you're gonna have your son circumcised not unless he's really naughty I went to a Christian school but this was a 1980 so they didn't call them Christian schools then they just called them school you said Nativity plays and I always wanted to play an angel but as my teachers explained to me no attack little blonde girls are angels little brown girls are the whores of Babylon it's all very Christian in fact I went to brownies as well which is a Christian organization but my parents sent me there because they thought it was an after-school club for Asian kids my secondary school was very different I went to a big state comprehensive where the motto was tendon on in pectoral ATM which translates as try not to get stabbed yep it was very difficult and the boys didn't pay any attention to me until I was about 15 or 16 but then only the Asian guys came up to me one what are you what are you why'd you believe I'm Sherman no no are you Hindu are you Muslim are you seek what are you there are very devout boys that wanted to check you the same religion as than before they try to finger you behind the bike share the younger generation is very different I I have a sister and a brother they're twins they're 13 years younger than me cuz my mother had a menopause panic my sister said to me recently sharpie is that really weird cuz that was just first and we bought him in London but I never see you the way you talk different generations and different dads it was sister she thinks she's got big get old you get me she comes out with stuff like you're born or what it's like out on the street I'm like well it's a bit parking and just one final thing before I go my little sister she got me on them on Facebook cuz I was on MySpace and she goes no no no you don't wanna be on myspace yeah you wanna be on Facebook so I joined both but I keep muddling them up and I keep inviting people to come on my face so eighty thousand friends

Channel: estermanch

Views: 537,316

Rating: 4.811996 out of 5

Keywords: comedy, stand up, apollo, Shappi, Khorsandi, british, iranian, persian, funny

Id: 8I5KmlXCLIk

Length: 7min 29sec (449 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 20 2009