Seth Godin | One bit of advice that will change your life

So can we end this talk do we have to I'm afraid so we're gonna run out of film Probably So can we end this by me telling you a little story, please and Sharing with you the best advice I've ever gotten okay And it happened to come from you oh boy And a fair warning I'm reluctant to share this a little bit because it's personal But I think it has enough value That it's worth sharing fun fact about me. I'm adopted and My entire life I had a great childhood, but I always had this desire to find My birth parents and I wanted to know Who I was my roots you know where did I come from And did you see that movie with Nicole Kidman and the guy from Slumdog Millionaire it was called lion? It was on the seat next to me on a plane so I know it without the word. It's a really good movie If you've seen that movie Maybe you can Understand a little bit how I felt I felt a lot like him in in that There was just I couldn't can't describe it to someone who's not in the situation, but I had this burning desire to find out My roots so hard yeah And as a teenager I would petition the courts for my birth records and I got denied over and over and over again and That only just fueled my fire. I felt sure. I felt it was unfair. I felt kind of violated like how dare you? Hold withhold for me. What's my my right to have? And it was very difficult flash-forward a number of years well when the internet became more pervasive and public documents became more Available I I found my birth mother and it was the most amazing thing. I sent her this letter and I wrote And included a picture by the way of our family, so we have four amazing kids I'm very happily married I've got a great family, and I sent this great family photo with so you know wearing our best And I wrote a note that said something like You know this may come to a shock, but I found you, and I just wanted to say thank you I want to say thank you for doing probably the most selfless thing anyone could ever do Which is you know a shot at a better life for me? That's so generous yeah, and and so I sent that letter and it also said if You want contact you know I? Would be more than happy to have a phone call or come meet you. I'm thrilled that I found you after this you know 25-year 30-year search I got a letter back And just give you a little context you know when you're adopted Your mind goes to the edges of the extreme of course right you think you know is my dad Steve Jobs like is there? Is there some inheritance waiting for me someplace that I should know about or Is my mom or dad some famous you know rock musician or athlete? And so it goes that way and And it also goes to the other side spectrum Which is am I the product of a violent crime? right. and then everything in between And so I would say that not knowing is the most difficult part Anyway so I did get a letter back and it was from This a very proper look like proper organization. It was a it was some sort of firm No, I Steve Jobs probably is my dad. like it was like a Dumbledore is bequeathing You know the Resurrection stone I think sounds so wrenching So I opened it, and it's it said you know dear mr.. Elliott. We're in receipt of your letter And our client does Admit that She is your biological mother but wants no contact And This is our official putting you on notice that if you have any further correspondence we will not hesitate to File a... oh, I'm so sorry Restraining order against you. and it was a sucker punch. Yeah. I was devastated. I was crushed. I mean I was pissed too umm... I was crushed and It was very difficult, and I probably kind of felt Sorry for myself for a little bit And this was right around the time that I quit a perfectly good job and left the studios I was at Universal Pictures for a while and I decided to start this production company And it was a time right around 2008-2009 where you you wrote tribes it was the first time that I reached out to you It was a very difficult time. You know the recession we were in the in the heart of the recession we were Knee-deep I was struggling to keep my family afloat You were very nice I reached out to you, but you you know you rejected me too a couple times like you know I don't know who you are. You know. I'm not interested in coming. I'm sorry. No. That's okay I'm getting to the point of this This lesson... I'm here today well So I persisted I was I was tenacious I didn't give up and I kept chipping away and and tried to communicate and you were very receptive and very Nice and gracious and finally about a year and half later You agreed to come to one of these meetings for the first time. This is like 2009 heading into 2010 you came and you sat down with me, and you talked and you were a Human being and you took the time, and you remember what you told me? you remember that advice you gave me? It's out of context. yeah. I'm really sorry. I I don't expect you to remember and that's okay but I told you about how I was struggling and how I had this great idea to to start this new webseries this show called behind the brand where you know I was I was making it very selfishly because I actually desperately needed to know how to be successful like right away because you know I was Struggling to keep my business afloat everything it was happening. and and you said to me I'll never forget it you said, "Brian, there's no prince charming in this story. There's no rescue boats. No one's coming. Stop waiting to get picked. the Today Show's not calling CNN is not going to call you you're not gonna get scooped up waiting to get picked waiting to get rescued. and that Just pierced my heart like no other and and I in that moment my whole My whole point of view changed. I realized that I was playing the victim I Felt like one. I mean rightfully so in some regards But what you told me that no one's coming? No one's gonna rescue me. I need to save myself Changed that point of view into being like a survivor; right to continue to push forward to not give up It changed my life. Well. I want to thank you for that. well, Don't thank me this is you. *clapping* So there is a bit of a happy ending There's more than a bit of a happy ending you have a happy family you're doing incredibly generous productive work that's Seen by millions of people around the world. well There's that, but there's so I also persisted and and I didn't assume that because I failed once I would fail again I decided maybe there's an-another outcome I kept looking for my dad. and I found him. and last year me and my whole family got to meet my dad who was much more receptive and Figured that one day I would call. and I found out that I have two younger sisters. And we all got to meet in this big happy family reunion. Turns out we're Jewish on my dad's side. Mazel Tov *audience laughing* So I guess that's maybe a good place to end. Ba-da boom *cymbal sound* *clapping*

Channel: Behind the Brand

Views: 2,091,926

Rating: 4.8284168 out of 5

Keywords: Bryan Elliott, Behind the Brand, entrepreneur, Seth Godin, Lion movie, reunite birth parents, Brian Elliott, Bryan Elliot, never give up, soft skills, Best Advice Ever, Seth Godin best advice, Seth Godin Best Advice Ever, seth godin audiobook, seth godin books, seth godin marketing, seth godin ted, seth godin tribes, seth's blog, Seth Godin marketing advice

Id: YO-hnbbK_lc

Length: 9min 4sec (544 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 19 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/thegoodbrain]

I hope this helps someone who might be feeling the same as me...After a 30 year search I found my biological mom and sent her a letter to thank her for giving me a chance at a better life. I received a letter back from her a week later, but it wasn't from her directly. It was a formal letter from her attorney who admitted that she was my bio mom but made it clear she didn't want contact. The lawyer then threatened me with a restraining order if I made any further contact. Here's what I did next in this 8 min. video...

[u/Adorableviolet]

Very moving. I was really pushing for my dh to find his bmom because I read so much about how women wanted to reunite with their children. He got a similar response (thankfully no lawyer. ouch!). I find it baffling. Anyway, you are an incredibly accomplished person....and I love that you found your dad. Best to you and your family.

[u/ocd_adoptee]

I came here to rip you a bit for putting a direct link to your youtube account in the title because it usually feels luke such self promotion when people do that, but your story telling drew me in and I ended up watching the whole video.

I could feel the emotion when you were talking about the letter from the lawyer. My heart was breaking for you. But I really lost it when you were talking about how Mr Godin said "No one is coming." Such a painful yet powerful truth on several levels. I lost it again in a good way when he said mazel tov!

I was interested in hearing more about how your reunion with your father is going if you are willing to share. It seems like that part of the conversation got cut short a bit.