Self-Realization - I Got It, I Lost It (Excerpt)

good to see you I've never met you in person but I seen a lot of your YouTube videos well it's about time we met then good to meet you please correct me if I'm wrong everything about me is timeless the only thing that is timed is like an infinite aspect of this imagination that a few people seem to be in and a few people meaning a few billion people but that's just the details for the infinitely small part it's just we're just I mean I'm right am i right I'm not sure the question first yet the question is were a hundred percent timeless is that correct I don't know you think you're gonna get out of here alive not out of this room out of life I think you should be relatively comfortable about making it out of the room but well the physical body has an appearance to have time I know I'm speaking in in in relative terms now um I gonna get out of here alive I was never born I've always existed and what is it that what is that it's this thing that's here can you show me the thing that's here I I can only ask you to listen I'm listening I I I can't show it to you you you have to you have to see it you can't show it to me I can show it to you it's right here here you are right here that's me yeah as much as anything else is alright I still believe in separation then because I there's there's a part of me that doesn't believe that I'm that flower of course not there's a party that doesn't believe that right all right I'm having a tough time having a conversation with you I know I know it's not what you expected you're not playing by conversation or rules no that's okay I forgive you it's it's been a pleasure meeting with you I hope I hope I can um hope I can meet with you again I hope so too yeah that's cuz this is part of the picture right a flower anything which this just happens to be a this thing's next to me I mean that's the that's the that's the sort of bottom line that we get to write is I'm something and this is something else however you define yourself you can even define yourself of pure consciousness and pure awareness but until we see that this is the same I I can't see that that's that's the same as me I could I can only I can only sense that there's something here I mean I've been self-realized twice I'm not self-realized today but when when I have been self-realized Wow I mean yes everything is clear I I cannot see that that's again it and you had your probably not apart from anything when I'm self-realized I know I'm not a part of anything I'm not a part of anything a part of anything are apart from anything when I'm self-realized I know that I am a note in this one giant symphony uh-huh it's it's amazing and you should try it sometime but it's kind of what I'm talking about I know what you're talking about I know I just um sometimes I'm just not there I could I can see it sometimes but sometimes I just I I look I look at the tire yeah I'm usually I'm one of those guys that beeps in front of me when when somebody's cuz I don't want to look at tires but but I do some what are you gonna do yeah tires there it's in my head right get carried away most you can do is just relax with it isn't it you just relax with it till you see a tie or a flower okay so that's what we see that's as you say it's so easy like as if it's no big deal I have to believe me I know that it's it's it's no big deal and it's a big deal at the same time mmm right it's just a flip of perspective you might say right that's not that big a deal but at the same time it can sure be feel like a big deal yeah that that perspective when it wouldn't what had happened twice it was just like a light switch and yeah it's a whole different world and then the light switch went off and I'm like okay great I'm back to looking at tires again yeah but okay let great so I appreciate your honesty with that what's when you had one of those shifts let's say okay and we can both I can I'll just go with you that a lot of that clarity seems to not be as clear as it was at some other point in time right yes okay so we could look at that and okay I've lost this and this and this I don't see life in the same way that I saw it okay but is there anything is there anything about what you're experienced that's still part of this experience yes I have my foot in it we're like right now I have my than it it used to be like a toenail yeah but now but now I have like sometimes the whole leg right now I could say like it's up to my knee yeah yeah yeah the reason I ask that is because you know we can get into that place like like especially if you've had some really clear experience in the past and then it's like oh I don't see it quite that way now yeah but if we've extra if we've ever really actually had some real awakening experience there's always part of it there's always something about it is still with you yeah and it may not be as clear and as all encompassing but what I found is through not a by grasping at it but just by almost like that intuitively sensing into like what haven't you lost and just sensing that like making space for that what haven't I lost the mass space where yes right I've been hearing that like rip it open right that that thing that hasn't been touched in a while yeah that the thing that has been looked at in a while just look at it got he'd get so boring it's so boring I just the mind just wants to go places yeah and and how and how I got there how I got there was dealing with the boredom and then boom yeah and I I just it was just a combination of being fed up with this lie with what what the mind thought was life and and knowing that there's something out there and I and I just thumb I just need to get that I haven't been fed up yet again yeah I guess am I like I'm I'm still and you're still getting like I guess I guess what's happening I'm still getting caught up I'm still getting attracted yeah so the imaginary okay and maybe you get fed up again but maybe you don't have to get fed up hmm maybe you don't maybe you do but maybe you don't it's just as likely that you don't so every single idea that I have on it it's just an idea it's just an imaginary idea it's just totally like you said it's wrong if I get if if if a minute from now I have an idea about awakening it's 100% wrong the the idea is wrong yeah the idea in the same sense that like an idea called glass of water it's a useful idea in some areas obviously if that was gay can you hand me the glass of water but is this actually limited to the idea that glass of water no I still have no idea what it is until I drink it Yeah right so okay that's that's that's what a it's as simple as that like whether it's an idea of a glass of water or awakening or anything else like okay okay I can see myself reaching for an idea and being comfortable and being more comfortable with an idea yeah but that's what our minds do its idealists its idealists right which doesn't mean we don't use ideas right we might give certain things names and all that goodness stuff but in society there's names and stuff but that's no yeah try living without any names neither one of us will get very far but it's sort of like I think of it as like being being somebody that was a drunk right and you got sobered up but you got to live the rest of your life in a bar it's kind of like that right you get out you get over your addiction to thought but that doesn't mean you can not think you're still gonna think right or not define yourself in thought you're still gonna think you're still gonna define so that's what I mean it's it's if you could just leave the bar and never you know you wouldn't be tempted but you can't really just leave your mind forever you're doing fine though just relax a little bit I've been I've been on the thing been on the I I guess it's five years now since I had my first one I'm like what was that let's let's turn everything else off and let's just do this so that's the only thing I've been doing mm-hm this is this the only thing that's real cuz I I saw it I didn't read about I saw it yeah I saw it yeah it's different isn't it when you see it and when you read about it it's it's everything yeah and it still is now I just I am see think of it this way whatever you want to think of is the fundamental reality whatever we want to call that okay all of a sudden at some moment fundamental reality shows up as a guy realizing the fundamental reality Hey and then maybe a day later a week a month a year later whatever fundamental reality shows up with a guy that doesn't feel like he's realizing the fundamental reality anymore it's just a different flavor sure and it and it's no better no worse it's just not in an alt from a human beings perspective it's better or worse but from a ultimate perspective No yeah it's just a different form now reality showing up in the form of illusion okay now reality showing up in the form of clarity from a human perspective it's a lot more enjoyable so of course we like the clarity but until we can see that reality I'm playing all sides all sides I got it I lost it and everything in the middle it's still the same thing all sides all sides of the equation wait I'm just I'm understanding everything I just wanted clarify though seeing fundamental reality as opposed to seeing all sides what's I thought I saw everything I want to make sure that I got so number one we should never we should never just assume we see everything first of all I mean anytime we get a taste of reality it always feels like the whole of it cuz that's reality I remember you mentioned a guy grabs Holden's foot and he thinks that's that's the truth but it's just the elephant's foot the foot right it's not that he's wrong right it's not that he's wrong it's just that he's not completely right but I like to think that I saw the whole old friend well of course he does am I am i right yes and no it's both literally it's both oh good to meet you I hope to see you again thank you until we meet again you

Channel: Adyashanti

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Id: Q-XGCP4r6Vc

Length: 14min 34sec (874 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 13 2020