(calming music) What is self-love and how do you truly love yourself? Self-love is literally the foundation of self-confidence, self-esteem, and living a happy and fulfilled life. Self-love is being able to fully accept and love yourself for the human that you are. So loving everything about yourself, even your flaws, even the parts that you're insecure about. It's recognizing your true worth that you are ultimately so worthy simply for existing. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to be anything or try to change yourself. You are perfect and whole and worthy as you are, like perfect in the imperfections. It's the same way that you look at a puppy or a baby and you automatically love it. It's, like, so worthy and beautiful. They didn't have to do anything or change anything about themselves. Just the fact that they exist, like, they are already so worthy and so lovable. So you are exactly that lovable. So today, let's talk about how to truly love yourself because only with true self-love can you do anything in life. Without self-love, you're not gonna get very far. You're gonna hold yourself back, lack of self-confidence and self-belief. So only when you truly love yourself can you go forth and be confident doing whatever you want with your life, taking it wherever you want. Before we begin, a quick break for today's video sponsor, BetterHelp. If you want more support in your self-love, self-worth journey, consider trying therapy. Therapy has helped me heal from burnouts and anxiety and release the parts of me that feel like I'm not enough, and I can say that I'm in a much better place now than I was a couple years ago. BetterHelp's mission is to make therapy more affordable and accessible. They connect you with a licensed therapist who is trained to listen and give you helpful, unbiased advice. With BetterHelp, you can have your therapy sessions as a phone call, video chats, or even via messaging. To get started, you fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs, and then you'll get matched with your therapist in most cases within 48 hours or less, and then you'll be able to schedule therapy sessions at a time that's convenient for you. If you think you might benefit from therapy, consider BetterHelp. Click the link in the description or visit BetterHelp.com/aileen. Clicking that link helps support this channel and it also gets you 10% off your first month of BetterHelp, so you can connect with a therapist and see if it helps you. The first most important thing to transform is your self-talk. Self-talk is the way that we talk to ourselves in our mind. Most of the time we are our own worst critic, and we're very mean to ourselves. That voice could come from our insecurity, it could come from a voice of our parents or our peers. But the first step to your self-love journey is recognizing your self-talk. Recognizing the negative things that you say to yourself and changing that, changing your thoughts, changing how you talk to yourself, which then changes how you feel about yourself. The truth is, we're all living in our own minds. For example, let's say someone is objectively pretty and people tell them they're pretty, but if that person, in their mind, doesn't believe that, if they feel insecure and they think that they look ugly or terrible, then that is their truth. It doesn't matter what people on the outside say to them because they don't believe it, they believe the thoughts and the self-talk going on in their head. This is why having positive self-talk is so important and it is the first step to healing this relationship you have with yourself and to start truly loving yourself, even if it feels fake or awkward at first. Because only with repetition with those thoughts will you start to truly believe them. This is why positive affirmations are so popular and so powerful because literally saying these positive affirmations to ourselves makes us start to believe that they're true. Your brain is really funny how it will believe what you feed it. That's why you have to ingrain with repetition, all of these positive thoughts, and you're gonna get through the awkward parts and eventually it's gonna truly feel true and it's gonna boost your confidence. That's where the magic starts. Number two is shadow work. So this is where you go deep as if you're an archeologist. You uncover the origins of your beliefs, the origins of, let's say, your insecurity or why you say mean things about yourself. Like why do you believe these things? Where did they first come from? Because a baby is not born, like, hating themselves. A baby is not born being mean to themselves. A baby is just pure and literally a blank slate, and it is really society or your parents or environment that kind of started to form these beliefs about yourself. So to do shadow work, you go deep into those origins of those beliefs. You try to uncover your fears and why you have certain fears. You start to face like the dark, ugly, shadowy parts of yourself, the parts that you want to avoid or ignore or hide away. Shadow work is really shining a light on all of those dark things and being like, okay, why am I so messed up in this area? Why am I so insecure? And with that awareness, shift your thinking, start to release all of those old beliefs, start to release all those old stories that are not serving you. Shadow work is truly grueling work and it's probably gonna involve a lot of tears and a lot of discomfort because you are making yourself look at the parts that you tend to avoid or tend to ignore exist. So it's not something that you do once and you're done. It's literally a lifelong journey where you just uncover layer by layer, maybe through a journaling session or a meditation session, but you start to understand yourself on a deeper level, like, why you are the way you are. And then with your adult mind, you can understand why the child version of me formed this belief to protect yourself. And you start to tell yourself as an adult, now I don't need that belief anymore. I don't need to have that same perspective. I can choose a more positive perspective, and I can start to let go of that past. Number three is learning to genuinely practice forgiveness and compassion to yourself and to others. I believe that true love includes compassion and forgiveness. Like, if you love someone, then you are able to forgive them, and that is one of the hardest things for a lot of people to do. A lot of people like to hold grudges and not be able to forgive people, but at the end of the day, like you are only able to love yourself the way you truly love others and vice versa. You can only love someone to an extent that you love yourself. So practicing forgiveness and compassion both ways, like to yourself and to others will help you develop that ability and that strength to love unconditionally. Self-forgiveness is being able to forgive yourself for your mistakes, for your flaws, for your failures, and being able to love yourself. It is being gentle with yourself and that's what self-love is all about. But the other part is also learning to do this with other people. So learning to forgive other people, people who have hurt you in your life, and try to find in your heart to find some compassion for them because each person is a human being. Humans make mistakes. Humans are flawed all the time. When you have compassion, you can start to learn to forgive people. That is also a lifelong healing journey. But if you're able to make progress in that area, then you're able to love yourself so much more. Honestly, you're gonna have so much more inner peace once you learn to forgive others. You don't wanna hold that burden in your heart for the rest of your life. It is actually hurting you. Not being able to forgive someone is like drinking poison and hurting yourself and expecting them to be hurt, expecting them to feel pain. But the truth is, like, they are detached from this. Whether they feel guilty or not, that's on them. But what you're doing to yourself is you're hurting yourself. The longer you refuse to forgive them, the longer you hold onto that grudge. Why would you stay suffering when you can just simply have it in your heart to let it go and finally feel at peace? Number four is to step into your new identity, the identity of this person who loves themself fully and unconditionally. So ask yourself, how do I love people in my life? Like, how do I show love? How do I treat these people? Or even if you have pets, right? Like, how do I treat my pets who I love unconditionally? Like, give that kind of love to yourself. So what would you do differently if you truly loved yourself? How would you go about your day? How would you go about your week? How would you treat yourself throughout the week? How would you talk to yourself in your mind? What would you do for yourself? Make a list, like, envision what this version of yourself looks like, the version that truly loves yourself, and then start living as that person. Start envisioning and imagining that you are that person right now. And literally, like, treat yourself. What do you wanna do today because you love yourself so much? How would you carry yourself? How would you walk in a room? What would you wear? All of these things are part of this new identity that you have to step into because you are that person. All right, the next step is to integrate this new identity. Start to recognize the self-love habits, practices, and routines that this identity, this person does, and start to integrate that into your life. So start building those ideal self-care routines, self-love routines. Ask, like, what activities make me feel good? What activities make me feel loved? What are the habits that someone who fully loves themself would do, right? Like, if someone fully loves themself, they would eat healthier, they would exercise, they would, like, invest in themselves, right? Other self-love habits could be journaling, repeating positive affirmations, meditating, doing yoga, having full on self-care routines every evening, doing the most with your skincare. Whatever it is for you that makes you feel good and that makes you feel loved, start to integrate that into your daily lifestyle. Literally write down what are you gonna do every single day. What are you gonna do in the week? And start to build that into your routine. By the way, a lot of these exercises and prompts on self-love are in our Artist of Life workbook. So if you haven't checked it out, I'll leave the link here and down below. The Artist of Life Workbook is our guided journal to help you create your most successful and intentional year. There's a whole section on self-love, refreshing your mindset, designing your ideal routine from your daily, morning, evening, routines, and also your weekly routines. And then it keeps you accountable throughout the year with, like, monthly goals and habit tracking, gratitude journaling. It just has so much jam packed in this one workbook that it will change your life because it has changed mine. So I'm fully confident in our workbook. Definitely check it out. I'll leave the link down below. The final tip I have for your self-love journey is to focus on progress, not perfection. You're gonna be on this journey for probably the rest of your life. It's a lifelong journey where our self-love just continues to deepen and deepen. And sometimes you just gotta take baby steps. As long as you have a little bit of progress, that is already a win. And remember that the growth is not always linear. Sometimes you'll feel really good about yourself, you'll be like, yeah, I love myself, whatever. And then you might backtrack. You have your ups and downs, and that's totally okay because it's all part of the journey. What matters is that you know what the goal is. You know the goal is to have that unconditional, powerful love for yourself where you are literally invincible. Nothing can touch you. Celebrate your progress along the way. Maybe this year you love yourself so much more than you did last year. Celebrate all those little wins. Celebrate your confidence building little by little, and you'll definitely get to where you wanna be. All right, now let me know down below from one to 10, how far along do you feel like in your self-love journey, one being the worst, you hate yourself, you're in the dumps, and then 10 being you're gloriously loving yourself and shining super bright. Let me know where you are from one to 10. I feel like I've been at, like, a 8.5, like, I've been very feeling good about myself. There's always room to grow, of course. So I'll put myself there. But comment down below where you feel like you are in that range from one to 10. All right, that's it for today. Sending you so much love. And don't forget to check out our new Artist of Life Workbook to help you plan your 2024. Yes, the new year is coming very soon. I'm planning a lot of new year content for planning our new year as well. So get ready for that, and I'll see you in the next one. Thank you. Bye. (upbeat music)
