Seerah of Prophet Muhammad 98 - Marital dispute with the Wives ~ Dr. Yasir Qadhi | 3rd December 2014

Rahim al hamdu lillahi rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa salam ala sayidina muhammadin by the ideas ideas mind on my back so inshallah we'll resume from where we left off and our last lecture was about order last lecture so um a brahim the entire story Oh Mabel on him and so based off of that I thought this would be the good time to also mention another family incident of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa seldom another incident involving the wives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa seldom the only issue is we do not know when this incident occurred so there are a number of opinions when this incident occurred one scholar even siu the nuts famous scholar of sila he says it occurred in the ninth year of the hijab if this is the case were in perfect timing because we're around the 90 of the Hitler now but other scholars say this occurred some say in the fourths I'm saying the fifth some say in the sixth so we don't have any exact timing and this is one of the big problems of the Sira that we know an incident but we don't know when it occurred and in fact we can say the same of all of the hadith whether the process and I'm said we don't know generally speaking when he said this so what is the incident we're going to do today it is the incident of our Prophet SAW said I'm abstaining from his wives for one month this is the famous marital dispute that took place and Allah revealed Quran because of it and so we have a number of internal evidences when this took place and some of these evidences are somewhat contradictory as is typically the case in the seal so we know that when this incident took place he was married to all nine of his wife so the law Hadi he was seldom and therefore this means that uh where is that noise coming from there was a phone back there okay I did not know this this is a huh this is the first time the phone is ringing from this is not even a phone this is something else so we know that he was married to all nine of his wife's all I send them I'm not going to quiz you on the names of these nine because I know we haven't memorized them yet even I have to look them up because you have to think about who they were so the nine of his wives at this time point would be soda a Hafsah on missile Emma and of course Oh masala is Hindi idea Bentall hadith Xena vintage ash o my habib ur-rahman lab in t abu sufian Sophia Ben - hurry my Munna Bentall hadith a little idea and inshallah by the way when I finish the serie which is very soon from now maybe by the end of January or beginning of every child will finish we're really at the end now inshallah the very next quick series will be the wives of the processor however many series that we can do about the wives of the prophet sallallaahu idea he was seldom so we know that he had all nine of his wives which means what that this incident took place somewhat late yet we have internal incidents or references as we'll see when we go on one of them it seems to suggest this incident took place before the verses of hijab were revealed and this is somewhat problematic because he might not have been married to online before the verses of hijab were revealed so this seems to be a little bit of a clash another internal incident the verse that Allah revealed is now through the Laz AB and so the lies that was revealed obviously one was a little as I've revealed when was surat al-ahzab revealed fateh makkah surat al-ahzab as ab what is the hijab or head no what is as ab - confederate so when did that take place what year guys this is embarrassing you know I was attending a conference I was attending a conference and so many brothers and sisters came up to me and said your students don't really know much do they that's like hey I'm gonna go tell them that you know it's like every time you ask a question they can never answer it I said so finally I had a 10 year old girl come up to me and her father said every single time you ask a question she answers it and nobody in your audience can answer so I had to I had to take a photograph with her okay and you're also famous by the way as the note keeper everybody knows you as that's the note keeper there's one hamdullah in any case where was I quizzing you so a battle of eyes I wonder does AB take place 5th year of the Hydra right so this would seem to indicate that this incident occurred in the fifth year of the Hydra but we can ease dismissed this and say just because it's found in suet that has up doesn't mean it was revealed in the 50 because the quran was put together by the prophesies of them at whatever time any the ayat we would put together at different times nonetheless in order to understand this incident of course we need to understand the lifestyle of the processing which is well known to us he never lived a luxurious life never from his birth until his death he had very humble beginnings he was orphaned his father could not provide for him there was no father living at the time as you know he died he was born an orphan his father already died our process theme tells us his first job was a shepherd he would work for karate and para our audience means four pennies so imagine you're getting pennies for the entire day literally you work the entire day as a shepherd and you get you know a dime or a quarter this is the wages of the Prophet SAW seldom he would live in the cramped house of Abu Talib with the other children he had a small break with the marriage of Khadijah as you know for the first time he could live separately in his own life and that's when a little bit of a little bit of any wealth came up Tim but it wasn't any luxurious living remember he didn't even have a camel he did not even have a transport until the Hegira he didn't even buy he couldn't afford to have an animal nor did he ever need to have an animal but slowly but surely the wealth began to come in not to him but to the umma and in the Battle of butter with the ransoming of over 70 of these pagans each one of them brought thousands of silver coins slowly but surely the Thai began to change after the conquest one after the other the big first big break came at hiber that was when the first really big break came that the entire fields of Khyber were handed over and then Fedak was gifted to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa seldom and that was his main personal income the plantations of Fedak which is a sister city to high but these were the personal property of the Prophet SAW Selim and the rewire tell us now remember when did I ever happen seventh year of the Hydra right high but is very late seventh year of the high general is hyper and so our processing them for from the seventh year onwards he now has one land and that land we know from the books of serie and the books of hadith was the main source of income for feeding his family that after the Battle of a high bar when he was gifted Fedak Fedak was a special gift to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa seldom and then of course the largest break that the early AMA got was the battle of hunayn this was the largest wealth that was accumulated but how much of that did the process of him keep the battle of hunayn absolutely nothing not one penny he kept for himself even though the Sharia allows the leader the legit the the legitimate Khalifa to take a share the one-fifth of the one-fifth they say and of course our process have already had a share from Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala and so he gave it all away and of course it is authentically narrated that he did this by choice in the Muslim I'm Ahmed the hadith is famous and you should know it if you don't know it then memorize it now that he was sitting with Juba Dean and Jibreel and him we're talking and an angel comes down from the heavens and Judea says to the prophecy Salaam this angel Allah has allowed him to come for the first time since the beginning of the creation he has left wherever he is and he's come down for the first time just to meet you basically and so the angel said ya muhammad assalamualaikum lord has sent me to ask you a question do you want to be a Nabi Americana B or an abdul rasul this is the choice you have you can be a malecon nebby means a prophet king you can be a king but a mana B or you want to be an abbot and Rasul so it's beautiful here because the highest position in this world is Amalek right and the lowest position is an apt and if you choose to be al Malik said Malik is medical medic the king if you choose to be the king then you will be a nebby and nebby is lower than Russell so you can be a Malick but you'll have to become an MP or you can humble yourself in this world and be an abbot and you will then be a rasul which is a higher status of the Dean and gibreel alehissalaam made a motion that go low humble yourself an emergent one version he said humble yourself in front of Allah and so the process and said I choose to be a nabbed who is a Rasul Abdullah Saleh I choose to be nabbed and Rasool and the narrator of the hadith says after this incident he was never seen even eating with his back resting on a wall meaning what so the the most simplest sign of luxury is you sit down and you enjoy your meal is the simplest sign even as mere people of you know not very great wealth we can enjoy our meal like this right but after this had this incident so he lived a life that was very even more austere and humble because he had asked allah subhanaw taala the choice or allah asked him excuse me the choice and he chose to be the habit the habit of course is the lowest of the low you are a slave of Allah you own own anything in the eyes of Allah so he'll be a nabbed in order to be a a Rasul and there's an actually another variant of this hadith that I found today it's slightly weak the variant but it has details that inshallah there's no harm in mention mentioning and perhaps he so this hadith is the same narration but he's telling our issue about it so the first one is the incident then he tells that issue about what happened perhaps he told Aisha after the incident of today that after the whole story of wanting more money and whatnot perhaps he told her this but he says to Aisha in this other version and I said slightly weak so keep that in mind Oh Aisha he says if I desired then all of these mountains would be turned to gold for me an angel came to me is a buckle now they would tie there is our and they would put some type of choke or some type of you know a fastener you know when you were tied that is up you just fasten it of course they don't have a whole buckle they were just fasten it and put something in like that so in this narration that says his fastener his class was bigger than the Kaaba itself this is how big the angel is and the angel asked me do you want to be an Fe Malik Nabi or an Abdullah suit and I chose to be a nabbed Rasul so this was his lifestyle and at some point in his life we don't know when but Allahu Alem one of the reasons that I think it's later on and not early on Allah Allah knows best but one of the reasons I think it's may be eighth ninth year of the Hegira the process items wives would not have asked for a more higher standard of living until their seeing other people as well their standards rising when everybody's living at a similar level then there's no need to ask for more right when does a person want more when everybody else is increasing and when did that increase happen after the conquest after high but after Fateh Makkah so slowly but surely the the economic level is rising of course it would rise radically in the time of the Halawa it would literally go exponential in the time of the kunafa by the time of the Umayyads the islamic civilization is now ruling the world it is the most prestigious civilization in the world so allah knows best but because of this reason i seem to like the opinion that it's later on that the wealth is coming in and so the wise that the profitsystem began asking for more as well now the details of what they asked I could not find at all and it is appropriate that these details are not mentioned that this is an internal matter that whatever they said to the process I mean the privacy of their homes it has not been recorded who is going to record that but what appears to have happen is that there was a cooperative effort a group pressure applied that and this group pressure was led by two of his wives and of course these are all our mother and when we say these things let nobody ever feel any type of stock for a lot that I seek Allah's refuge that we're ever diminishing from their noble status as I will mention later on what they asked is had an and when we mentioned this it's not as if we are the how the hotel Allah diminishing their status so that nobody feel this but two of the wives of the process and were the ones who coordinated a group effort why would they do a group effort who can tell me why would they do a group effort and not just one it's more convincing it's like if if one person asks the other doesn't then it's a stronger case to be built right this is stronger case that all of them are demanding a better lifestyle okay as I said what exactly did they demand this is lost and it should be lost like yelling what do you what but what would it be other than a bigger house or a better furniture whatever it might be this is the reality that everybody wants and it is halal to wanted nothing wrong with that so as we say this don't avail anything stuff for a lot diminishing in their character as we're going to come to and so the this incident is reported in a lot of detail in the first person by Roma doner kebab so we're going to actually move to a liberal kebabs hadith it's a very beautiful and long hadith and it is reported in slightly Muslim in a number of a hadith world must merge them together and of course I'm another hot Bob is deeply involved because his daughter so the two women who led this this cooperative effort was Hafsa and Aisha these were the two who led the cooperative effort and that's why I'm mahaprabhu's himself personally involved deeply in the story so he himself narrates that even a bus uh sorry even Abbas Nerys from him if in a bus is hearing from him so even Abbas said that I was always anxious to ask removable Kitab about the two ladies whom Allah revealed in the Quran that inta to by life of hosaka lucuma now this this is about last week's or last month's Allah when we talked about Omiya brahim area right so even a bus as I was anxious to ask one bourbon hot tub for over a year I was looking for an opportunity and look at his patience his eagerness and also his respect for the time of Ramon he doesn't just barge into a mother and say I want to know but rather he is respectful when is the good time to ask I'm gonna blow her top so he's over a year he was waiting until on one expedition I'm gonna kebab was by himself so even a bus walked next to him and said oh ma don't mean I have been waiting for an entire year to ask you this question and he was helping him doodle at the time so I'm gonna build a hot dog of course he gave the story of Mahdia that's we already talked about that right but then rumor goes on now that I'm telling you about Maria let me tell you about another story as well that deals with the wives of the Prophet sallallahu aleyhi was seldom and so he goes on that we we were a people from the Haresh who would dominate over women not labony sana and yet when we came to Medina we found that the people of Medina were a group whose women dominated them okay so he said when we move from Makkah to Madinah our women learned from the women of the Ansari what did they learn to dominate men okay and so he said I had a house I had a house that was situated in a wali which is a district in Medina I've said I already told you I used to live there myself and he said one of my wives lived there so one day I became angry with my wife and I said something and she responded back that was Olivia she responded back in other words she's defending whatever is the issue okay and so I rebuked her how dare you respond back meaning you're not supposed to be doing this right and so she said to me that you are rebuking me for responding back don't you know that the why as of the process and respond back to him meaning who do you think you are or what huh you think you're better than the process in him his own wives respond back to him so much so that sometimes they abandon him in anger meaning of some marital things happen they leave him maybe even for the whole day meaning don't get angry at me if I'm going to leave you for the day the wives of the process of them do the same thing and somehow this shows us so many things it shows us that the prophecy Salem's wives even though most of them were Qureshi or as she got most of them still they had learned the customs of Medina right and this also shows us our process in is tolerating this that he is not enforcing the customs of Mecca and it also shows us that how the wives treated the processing is known to the other women and that is why and this isn't half son's mother by the way this is another wife of Rama this is not half son's mother another wife of Rama she is aware that the wives of the process and respond back to him and this is something that is well known that every community we know overall some of the details of the personal lives of the people right so-and-so is a bit strict so-and-so is stingy so in stories lacks also this is something that kind of is well known in the community so the wives of the process and his situation is known to the other women so Roman is shocked so he said I want to have son immediately and asked her do you ever reply back in an argument do you ever reply back to the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam she said yes we do he said do you ever leave him for the day meaning you know you are angry and quiet and you know the standard thing that happens just don't talk for the day and she said yes we do and so her mother bethubb he and of course by the way Subhan Allah I mean the whole story here one of them one of the really beautiful things about the story is it really shows us the humanity of everybody involved you know this perception that some of us have and said this many many times is a superhuman perception it needs to be removed from our minds okay our process ennum is the best human but he's a human he is not divine he's not God he is a human being and his wives are the best women but there are nonetheless wives and women right and so we see here that just like every couple has its backs and fourths every couple so here we have the wives of the prophecies that I'm responding back to him and in irritation not speaking to him for half the day for the day now if anybody else were to do this with the process and this is a type of gopher I'm being very theological here if anybody else right were to be irritated or angry with the prophecies and this is good for impossible but things are allowed for his wife is why is that it's not allowed for other than his wives and this shows us that yes in marital issues is going to happen and we're going to come back to this point later on and so we de blasio table rebuked have saw and he says whoever does this has indeed lost everything are you a fool by the air the Arabic word holla holla means are you a fool are you crazy to have done this now he is angry at Hafsa how dare you do this and he says to her he says to her are you not scared of the anger of Allah upon you if the messenger is angry with you so he is acting like every Muslim other than the wife should act right meaning the wives have some laxity that no other Muslim has you understand what I'm saying here right Roma dobrze hopup is saying are you not scared if the rasool allah saw some is angry with you how about allah is he gonna be angry with you think about it this is not just a regular human being this is the Rasool Allah saw Sodom so if you're irritated with him what if Allah becomes irritated with you and so and then he says that I know he commands her never reply back to the Prophet system if he ever gets angry at you never reply back to the Prophet system and never ask him for any of your needs come to me don't irritate him right so Roma wants to now be a a mediator that don't bother him for anything you wanna something extra I'll give it to you event of course Shelia why is the father doesn't need to give to the daughter who's married right but he is saying to her just you you don't get involved with this I will I will give you anything extra and then he says that let not the status of your companion deceive you about your status meaning he's hinting at ayesha right don't make chaos upon aya and what she does for indeed she is more graceful or beautiful and more dearer to the prophesies of them then you are meaning put yourself in your place she will get away with things you will not get away with okay and this shows us again it's human nature that the one whom you love right will be able to do more than the one whom you do not love I mean those of us who are parents our children get away with everything and we still give to them is that not the case right this is the way a less Rantala created us they can do anything and we still will forgive and turn the other cheek this is the reality of being a parent so the more you love the more you will forgive and so I'm going to help I was saying you have sinned a nice way you are not a tisha you cannot get away with what Aisha can get away with and he understands of course as a father in law and as a father to have saw he's trying to make sure the marriage remains peaceful and good and as we know as well at some time most likely before this incident half saw had been divorced once I had mentioned this before right house I had been divorced once and Allah subhanAllah Sanjib leaned down to the processor and told him Allah is commanding you to take half so back because she is so warm up Obama she is a lady who fast and a lady who prays and she will be your companion in Jannah so overlook I mean she was the daughter of Roma so she must have inherited you know and this is the these things are not mentioned in the serie nor should they be mentioned okay but nonetheless she is the daughter of Roma and so whatever her faults might have been in a personal nature Allah reminded the process in him she is a religious lady she has lots of Prayer lots of fasting so overlook this and she will be a companion in gender so he took her back is not aware what has happened obviously and he is worried it might happen again so a mother then continues the story and he said I used to have a companion from the unsub and we would take turns accompanying the prophet salallahu alayhi wa seldom one of us would take care of the cultivation and whatnot and go and the other would go to the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam for the day meaning what meaning that umar and all of the Sahaba they had their lives to live as well they didn't just give up their occupations and sit all day in the Masjid they have to work they have to toil they have to struggle a lot of times we don't think about this realize that every Sahaba had to earn a living every one of them is going to work 9 to 5 whatever they would be doing so her mother is busy in his life but he wants to benefit so what do they do the two of them agree to alternate his neighbor and him they will alternate one day I'll do the chores for the both of us you go to the processor the other day you do the chores I go to the process many look at how much eagerness they have to attend with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam so one day he's and he said as well that during this time we were discussing the lisanna needs and how they might attack us now this is why some scholars say this incident occurred basically at the time of a job or something were post eyes that because that's when they're worried about those salads okay those asanas were threat basically up until Tabuk so after the book they were not to threat so this phrase here kind of suggests this is before to book Allah who Adam so here's as I said there are multiple things we don't know exactly when this incident took place now one day he said after had gone to sleep after certain duration and of course those days after Isha they would go to sleep immediately because there's no light there's nothing you go to sleep my neighbor came running and he's knocking on my door and this is very dangerous or scary I should say in the middle of the night you know to get this so he rushes out open a hot tub and he says what is the matter what is the matter have the Hasan it's attacked so he's thinking the only reason my neighbor would be knocking at you know eleven o'clock or whatever or probably not eleven and probably realistically be after Isha so whatever would be nine o'clock ten o'clock at night have the sonnets attacked so he's only thinking of one thing his neighbor says no something worse has happened the profitsystem has divorced his wives now this is amazing because the hasanat attacking is war and for the unsought II the wives being divorced is worse than war saying something worse has happened and that is the process of divorcing his wives why because a personal tragedy will hurt them more and especially Ramone then a communal tragedy and this shows us the love that they had for the process Alam that they're actually saying a personal loss is worse than a communal war and therefore our murder hot bob says as soon as the fagio prayer was over I dressed myself in my garments and I rushed to the house of the prophet salallahu alayhi wa seldom and of course he was not there and helps I went to have saw and hafsa was crying half so was weeping so he says to her that has the process and divorced you all and half saw said la Audrey I don't know I don't know if I am divorced or not however he has left us and gone to a aunty room if you like an attic room or something and in another version in another version also saw a Muslim Omar says I rushed to the Masjid after Fajr and I found all of the people gathered in the messages just flipping pebbles and moving pebbles meaning they're waiting what is happening the whole community is now in the message they're concerned what is going on and the rumors had spread that the process um had divorced all of his wives this is the rumor that had spread that he divorced all of his wives so he says I went to Aisha in this version he goes to Aisha first I went to Asha and by the way this is the the evidence that some use to say this happened before the verses of hijab came down because he would not have gone to Aisha after the verses of her job others will say well he visited her and she was behind the curtain because we don't know if he saw her or not - okay so Allah knows best again all of these opinions are out there and we don't know when this incident occurred nonetheless he says I went to Aisha and I and I said to her o daughter of abu bakr ODOT revolu bakr have you gone to the extreme of troubling the Prophet SAW some that he is now basically in his room in other words he's rebuking her what have you done that you have done irritated him that he has now left all of you and so he had just as a sharp tongue of a tongue as he did right she's not somebody that is going to accept this from a little hot Bob and so she says the abinell hot table back to him because he called her a bento so di bint ABI and the midwinter sadhika or they say bint ABI bakr the daughter of a worker so she goes back yeah but a hot tub o son of hot tub go and take care of your own vessel meaning Hafsa you're worried about me and go ask what half saw has done you thinking I'm the culprit your daughter is just as much of a culprit as I am right go worry about your own glass vessel and you know the the they're calling the wife the the vessel here and so he realizes that my daughter is also guilty because he initially assumed that that Aisha would have been the main culprit but then she says no I'm not your daughter is just as guilty so then he says he got the version goes he goes to have saw and he finds her crying over there so then he says that uh so then he rebukes Hafsa and he says didn't I tell you meaning the the last few whatever was the first rib you didn't I tell you this would happen didn't I tell you not to respond back to him and then he said something a bit harsh to her and I knew this was his nature and maybe of course you can say to children a little bit harshly what others might not say to them so he says to have so that you know that Allah is messenger does not love you and Allah knows if this is true or not I don't think this is true but this is his way of being harsh with his daughter you know that he doesn't love you maybe he meant he doesn't love you as much as he loves Aisha who and were it not for the fact that I am your father he would have divorced you long time ago so this is what he's kind of being a little bit harsh and so on hearing this house of course what is she going to do she breaks up into more bitter tears and so he says where is the process in them and she tells him he is in his anteroom this now what is this ante room what is this attic the books of ceará really primarily mentioned this room in this incident that's when we know it exists it appears that in the masjid of the prophet sallallaahu Holly who sent him there was a small chamber that you would have to climb there was a ladder there and it was used for by the process and I'm just to get some privacy and he would not ever live there it's just something that's a private room if you like an office room or something that he would just sit so this is the main time he actually uses it to sleep otherwise it's not really mentioned that much in the Serie so what was this room used for Allahu Alem but for sure because of what's inside the room the processor would use it occasionally because there is a mat in the room and there's a water receptacle in the room so he's using it occasionally when would he use it Allahu Alem just it's in the messages and it would be some type of connection that you have to climb up the ladder and then go inside and there's a small room over there so umar is told he is in his attic room if you like so amar says i went to that room and there was one of the servants or the slaves of the prophet sallallaahu said i'm standing there and one version it is a Balad in other versions another Abyssinian slave and so I said to him ask permission for the process and that I can enter I'm gonna bellhop up I can enter and there's two versions and one version the servant goes in and he comes back and he says I mentioned your outside but the process um did not respond so he goes to the mimbar and he sits there and everybody is crying and weeping because they're all distressed at the distress of the process of them until he becomes overpowered how long are you gonna sit he goes again he tries again second time the servant comes back he says he didn't say anything to me then the third time he comes and he says permission has been given that's one version in another version he asked permission and asked permission and then the third time he says that he says it loudly so that the processor could hear so he says that go ask permission for I think that the process in him is thinking that I'm coming for the sake of hamsa meaning as a father-in-law meaning to take her back Nowell i that is not the case for if allah his messenger had told me to execute house' i would obey the commandment of the process and meaning I'm not taking half Society I'm not coming to as a father-in-law as a chef era for hamsa I'm basically coming as a friend as a person to find out what is happening so when he says this then he is given permission to come into the room and of course this is the famous incident of the Sira that all of us have heard since we were children and it is now this incident occurs that ramona pob looks in this small room and he says i only found in it some barley some dried basically wheat or something not even made bread equivalent to a hand full and a Semite and leather bag of water and a chamber pot basically over there and I began to cry looking at this sparse room and of course he was reclining on a fiber mat and when he turned around to see me so I could see the marks of the fiber on his shirt so he's lying down the upper shirt is not there and he's wearing the is out of the lowered lower garment so when he turns around to face so then all of the mat it is a fiber mat so it is made out of the the leaves not the leaves it is the the branches or the twigs of the date palm right so it's something that we can understand it's not a mattress it's not comfortable so something that's very hard so I asked him that yah Rasul Allah have you divorced your wives right then and there the first question have you divorced your wife's up a lot Anissa so you confirming the rumor or dispelling the rumor so the problem said no I have not so Omar said Allahu Akbar and this shows us the comments or no when you hear a good news you're supposed to say a lot but this is where the Sunnah is common throughout the serie when you hear a good news you say Allah walkabout so here is where also almost realized that I need to now alleviate the tension of the prophet sallal are seldom so he tried to have a conversation soften you know what's happening so he says yeah Rasul Allah don't you remember the people of the Quraysh how we would dominate over our women don't you remember the good old days right how we would you know dominate over the women but then we came to Medina and lo and behold we found the opposite that the women were dominating over the men and our women have learned from their women so he's trying to you know lighten the mood right how a woman have learned from their women and one day I became angry at my wife and lo and behold she replied back to me and I did not approve that she replied back to me and she told me that who are you to not approve when the wives of the processer reply back to him so he's telling him the whole episode and story in order that of course to alleviate this pain and he tells the whole story that I went to have saw and I told her that you know be careful do not reply back to the process em and he even told the process and I told her don't be deceived by the status of your companion that you're not equal to her and she'll get away with what you will not get away with so he's telling everything to the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam and at this the process that i'm smiled so Amar's alleviating is working here and this shows us that the common thing that is human society husbands every time they come together they crack jokes about their wives and wives when you all come together what do you do other than put your husbands down right this is the reality of men and women that we find comfort in you know strength in numbers right when we talk about the domineering attitude of women and we all snicker and giggle amongst ourselves we actually find some comfort that is not just me all of our wives are doing this to us right and then the women as well when they make fun of the idiotic nature of their husband you know men are so backward or stupider whatever they make fun of I don't know of course I'm not privy to the women's circles back there but however they make fun of their men so they find comfort as well that it's not just my husband who is that stupid it's not just my husband who is that backward they're all that stupid right so subhanAllah it's common it's human nature here we have Rome on a hot tub in the process and I'm basically talking about women and how they are and how they do this and that and so they find some comfort and consolation and we also learn a very basic thing that when somebody is in pain then bring some light heartedness you know the process M is hurt you know it's a very we all of us who are married we know it's a very painful thing to have a marital dispute and he is now living alone so no doubt and is painful so memorable hot bob was just cheering him up bringing changing the subject bringing in a lighter mood and so when he saw the process of smile this made him now encouraged and he continued talking to the process in him and he had you know he smiled again for a second time so now I'm gonna hope all feels confident he says may I sit down and have a conversation meaning he hasn't even sat down yet he's so tense himself right so I said can I we can we just you know you know continue as that initial solo which means can I have a dialogue with your sutala so then the process M gave him permission and subhanAllah this also shows us you know the stereotype we have a rumor of being that harsh and whatnot here we see the gentler the wiser size of Ramat as well that he understands look how a process M is going through some issues we need to now you know just see what I can do to cheer him up right so we see this other side of Ramadan for table as well and this is when he says I sat down and I lifted my head now to see what else is in the room and he said why Allah I could not see anything in that room it's a bear room other than some animal hides that were you know it's just a camel or sheep hide over there and I said o Messenger of Allah why don't you make dua to Allah that he gives you sustenance and your own mother's make dua to Allah that we have wealth as he has given wealth to Persia and Rome to kisara and to the Caesar even though they don't worship allah subhanahu wata'ala and remote bellhop at this point he began to cry and so the process said yeah Bob now you keep why are you crying or in a hot tub so he says ya Rasul Allah why should I not cry this mat has left its mark on your back and you are a loss messenger and compare this to Caesar and compare this to Kucera and here you are you are the Chi Mustapha and the Habib and the chosen one how and you are living like this when they are living like that so when he said this our process of him got up from the mat or the the thing he was on he got up stood I'm not stood up he sat up and he said yep no hot Bob are you in doubt are you in doubt means are you having wrong thoughts right now are you not content that Allah has chosen us over them for the next world and given them this world for their pleasure aren't you happy we have the better deal and in another version he said that that they have been given their good deeds in this world and it's Tana means they have been given the good in this so that they have nothing in the next life and so romanov said Allah so Allah asked a lot to forgive me this was a mistake of saying that we should get more money and of course this is a very profound and true point of the simplicity of the life of the Prophet so some of the role model that he left us with and of course we do realize so this was not his house this was the the ante room or the attic room this his house was one notch above this and it wasn't as if it's luxurious but it was a little bit better he had a blanket at least you know you had something a little bit better he had a cot for a the bed over in this room he had nothing that's where this this is taking place and also by the way this is a very interesting thing that to judge the success of a person based upon his wealth to judge how good a person is based upon how much material blessings he has is wrong and this is why the process from said are you in doubt or more do you think that just because we don't have and they have that they are somehow better than us this is what he is saying now this doesn't mean that Islam tells us to be unsuccessful but rather true success is what the AL hara and how is that gain true success is living a moral and a virtuous life this is the success islam came to teach us and of course this is very true especially in our times that our process lim is questioning or mode do you doubt and that very doubt is what is common in our times amongst our youth especially why are the muslim nations behind why do we have low gdp why this why is technology japanese and what not where are we and all of this and this is a question that has deep theological you know profound responses to it the simplest one is right here that okay it is may be true that people other than believers allah has blessed them with this world after all they don't believe in the a pharaoh said of course this world they want to make it into agenda now this doesn't mean is Lomb is telling you to not be technological and scientific we all know that once upon a time our ummah was indeed the pinnacle but what we are saying what I am saying success is not judged based upon GDP and technology and it is possible that Allah will bless other people with things we are not blessed with but what we have of correct ethics and morality the correct virtue the correct theology this is far more precious than all of this world and also another point here and that is that perhaps one of the reasons these people are blessed is because their good deeds are being returned to them in this world that's what our process that I'm said their good deeds are being returned to them in this world meaning what every time a non-muslim does a good deed and they all do good deeds how will they be rewarded if they don't believe in Allah on the day of judgment they're not going to get the day of judgment reward so they will be rewarded in this world so this reward will be extra money extra prosperity better life and whatnot so this is another theological response to the question why do some people who are unbelievers seem to live materially better lives than people who are believers and so our mobile kebab found out from the Russians back to our story that the process in him had taken a halluf and oath to Allah that he would not come close to his wives for one month that he would leave them for one month and at the end of that one month on the 29th day Wagner sorry Ottawa says that I she says that when 29 days were over the process of them then returned to us and I said o Messenger of Allah you have taken an oath that you will stay away from us one month but today is the 29th day and so the process in him said the month may be 29 days as well and this shows us that if somebody makes a promise to allah i will not do something for one month then one month could be either 29 or 30 so one month if you say one month it could be either 29 or 30 days now another point by the way and this is the end of this version another version will tell us other details that aisha is counting every single day she's in distress and she's literally counting day number one day number two so when the process sound comes back and she knows that he has made a hell of you all know hannover oath to Allah that I swear by Allah that I will not do such-and-such and you're not supposed to break your head off unless you have a penalty so Aisha's counting because she's waiting for 30 days so in the process it comes back on the 29th she is worried maybe you have mistaken you're going to commit a sin by coming on the 29th so she attempts to correct the process um this is a 29th day and the process M says no 29 days is also one month could be 29 days so what happens after 29 days another version tells us and that is that the process I'm said to Aisha and he began with Aisha so after 1 months staying away the first house he went to his ayah and he said to her that o Aisha I'm going to talk to you about a matter and don't be hasty in this decision and go and consult your parents before you come back to me what is the matter Yaris ooh la la so then he recited surat al-ahzab verses 28 and 29 that yani Satna be o wives of the Prophet you are not like the other wives you're not like any otherwise it's a very beautiful long passage I don't have time to quote all of it in today but read it quickly it's just half a page long and in that passage Allah subhana WA Ta'ala says that in Quinten - didn't a map included dunya height and couldn't another hydrogen Rosina Taha Vitale no matter conocer hakuna surah Hajj Jamila if you want this world and its beauty then come I shall give you a beautiful gift and let you go a beautiful letting go meaning you want this dunya now the process name had access to wealth did he not write that's the key point here he had plenty of access and his wives wanted some of that wealth that he had access to and that belonged to him so they are not asking for things beyond what he had they're asking for a share that they felt was a fair share let us now increase our standard of living so Allah revealed in the Quran and this is in surah as up to this day that if you want this world and all of his beauty come I will give you a good amount and then let you go a beautiful letting go meaning a simple divorce not going to be any harsh inning you go well in contented in the llaha what a suitor who would doubt I'll ask him but if you want Allah and His Messenger and the next life then Allah has promised the righteous amongst you a very good reward in the next life is in the Quran you can read it beautiful simple choice you want this dunya now notice here is the point here what they were wanting was not at all a sin it's not makrooh it's not how long allowed and so Allah says you want it come take it you will get it but I cannot live with you after that but if you continue to live in this lifestyle and you are righteous that Allah has promised for you a great reward now of course this is the whole point of entire story today our profit system was wanted to live that lifestyle to be the ultimate role model what the wives wanted was Helen and nothing is diminishing in their character if they want to live a better life knowing that they have access to this money but you see our process should not have lived that lifestyle and it's not appropriate for him to do so so anybody who wanted him must choose that lifestyle and this is what the Quran came down to say that if you choose Allah and His Messenger you will get your reward in the next life so this was the choice every one of his wives was given this choice beginning with Aisha and now the process that I'm said to Aisha don't be hasty think about it and go ask your mother and father and Aisha is narrating this hadith is another idea she's narrating it directly Aisha says that that he told me to consult my parents because he knew my parents would never tell me to leave meaning she felt that the Prophet SAW senem may be assumed she might want to leave and of course the process did not want her to leave but he might have been worried that this young girl might want to leave you see the point right so she says he says Tasha don't be hasty consult your mother and father and I she seems to be a little bit irritated I'm not that immature I know what I want and so she says back what is there to consult yellows ooh-la-la is this something I need to ask about I have chosen a lot in His Messenger and the last world a da da da and destroy I don't need to consult anybody and this shows us yes I sure wasn't mature I shall fully understood that there is no choice here one choice is money in this world and that's it and the next choice is Allah and His Messenger and the next life what do I have to consult with and this also shows us that when the choices are so clear you don't pray staccato you don't go and ask people it's crystal clear what needs to be done so she didn't even praise the Hara you didn't even go to her mother and father she made up her mind right then and there is there any need to consult my parents at Isola I chose Alana's messenger and this shows us not only her maturity of course it shows us her Iman as well it shows us her iman and her taqwa and i shed then says that o Messenger of Allah don't tell your other wives that I have chosen you meaning meaning what though hmm she wants the others to to choose something else okay yeah so Allah don't tell your other wives that I have chosen you and our Prophet SAW said I'm said that Allah has sent me as a mobile little as a conveyor and he hasn't sent me as a one boat and it's somebody who is harsh or cutting off from others meaning this is not your right or your option or your business that I it's not my job to make their lives difficult because if they leave they will not have a Lana's Messenger right and in the long run they will be the ones that will obviously lose and this really shows us that no doubt he loved Aisha more than the otherwise we all know this but his extra love for her did not ever cause him to not be fair with the other Omaha al mu'minin and he clearly says Allah did not send me to make things difficult for anybody for anybody and that of course includes his wives as well and it been a bus and so by the way every single wife chose obviously to stay with him and there shows us the amount of the wives as well none of the wives and they would have gotten a fortune because he had access to fortunes but none of the wives even considered leaving Allah the messenger and giving up the promise of Allah and of course this is exactly what we expect from the Omaha al mumineen and um I'm a bellhop ah by the way another in another version so there are a number of versions and another version he adds a detail that he says - he says to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa seldom that o Messenger of Allah if you have any trouble with any of your wives and if you divorce your wives if you want to divorce them then know that Allah is with you and his angels and you breed and myka ill and I am with you and I will buckle is with you and all of the believers are with you and on vertebra hot Bob said that I would always hope that Allah would back me up in things that I say and three times that happened that Allah revealed our relation to basically back umar up and this is one of those times that what I said Allah then revealed what is the verse that Allah revealed office up or is the other half is up other half is up both half the subs any non half is up if you divorce them then verily Allah is with you and his angels and you buried and myka eat and I am with you now a bucket is with you and the believers are with you powder what's the verse now what if what's worse that's the beginning of this world I said I you do look at a hydrological mr. Mahoney what is the worst I'm forgetting of myself I was it was done was lomatin what me not in contact in Tibetan I bet the devil said wakaru I know is more this is more this um no that's not the one when I could Wilma knock the batter Nicola here the one right before this what is the one right before this panel uh guys I have three her file sitting here had the stuff for Lima half of the Scotland heads this is the problem going backwards I have to go to I've Quran on my iphone stuff for Allah Allah may Allah forgive us for this big lap big lap this is a very big class what interval Hara ilayhi find Allah who a mother who was ability was odd Romanian well my leg - by the lake over here this is surah taha team verse 4 so this phrase omar said something similar for in allahu amalah eyah ghibli do was AA different meaning so umar said if you divorce them then Allah is your protector Allah is your Mona and jewbilee is your Mona and me Kyle is Ramona and I am your mother no baccarat Zoomer in other words he is the father-in-law this is very powerful he's saying ya Rasul Allah if you divorce your wives I am on your side not on the side of my own daughter I'm on your side and a lot is on your side and your beauty is on your side so this is a base basically telling the process whatever you decide to do we will be on your side and it been a bust by the way another incident I quickly found in one of the books of hadith this is actually in Behati they've been a bus as a young boy he's probably 11 or 10 years old when a bus remembers this day as well in just three lines because he's not in the inner circle even Abbas says one day we woke up and the rumors had spread we heard that all of the wives had been divorced and they were all crying now this is of course not a true rumor and all of their families were with them so I went to them you can imagine a young boy coming to the messages and it was full of people so this was now a community event everybody is now at the Masjid what is happening and Umar came when the processor was in his private room so a busses it been sorry even a bus is watching what's going on robot came when the processor was in his private room he asked permission to enter for three times notice the same incident on Mars narrating from the first person now I banal bus is telling us from the third person and then he entered and asked the process and have you divorced your wife wives and the process and said no but I have done ela for one month from them and Allah I will get to right now and so even Abbas said he remained 29 days away from his wives and then he entered upon them okay so this is the famous story it is called the story of the prophets ela so what exactly is ela ela is to make an oath a halluf to allah subhanho wa taala that you will not come close to your wife for a particular period of time and this is permissible if the period of time is less than now what is the maximum for months is what is typically said and our processor made ela for one month and it is used when marital disputes are going out of hand and the husband wants some time to be away and for both parties to think and to cool down basically so this is what Allah is and our prophet SAS Adam did this ela and he did it for one month and we said one month can be 29 days now this is the famous story of ela many benefits can be derived from this story of those benefits is that and somehow that this list is not complete I mean time is limited and unfortunately will lie so many benefits maybe I can't give a seeder class about this because already have but maybe in another hold bar something this story needs to be elaborated on even more but of the benefits is that social customs and gender roles vary from society to society and Islam does not dictate a particular specific gender role as long as the overall guidelines of the Sharia are met and this is very clear that how women interacted with men in Makkah is very different than how women interacted with men in Medina and Islam did not come saying the muckin custom is prevalent or the medina and custom is prevalent rather Islam allowed the block both and this is something that we see in every single culture of an Islamic society to this day that the women of one land might be more whatever you want to call the timid or whatever and a woman of other line will be more bold or whatnot and the Sharia does not have a particular you have to do this or that rather this goes back to the culture of each of these societies as long as the laws of the Sharia are met and therefore there's no harm in us adopting to our own culture as long as once again there's no explicit shedding our commandment that has gone against and this is something that is very relevant especially to us Western Muslims that the fact of the matter is jokes aside in everything our gender interactions and our gender roles are very different than the bulk of the Muslim world and we have extremes here many of us think that the Muslim world the way that the gender interactions take place is the ideal and many of us are dismissive of that whereas others are dismissive of the Western role and the fact of the matter is that the Shetty allows for a spectrum and within that spectrum it is held on beyond that spectrum when it goes beyond that what is beyond that is beyond the scope of this class right but if the Shetty allows it then it is permissible to take it into account as well then there's no doubt that modern Western society is far more I don't like using the term progressive but that is the term that is coming to mind now but it is far more modern and I give a sister's Holika when I explain very clearly that this is a modern phenomenon the third wave of feminism we're living in post-feminist world this is a very modern face and it didn't exist fifty years ago 100 years ago as long as we understand that and we're not saying that is right I'm also not saying that is wrong they're elements of it that are permissible and we can adopt and take it and their elements that are beyond the scope of Islam we should stop and draw the line over there so this clearly demonstrates that also of the benefits of this incident and I mentioned this before as well is the humanity of the prophets and his wives and even the prophets Allah Selim himself that if Allah had willed our process him could have had a fairytale marriage if Allah had willed we would have not ever heard of any of these things but these incidents bring to home that even our prophet system is having marital spats back and forth and the wife might say something the husband might say something they're not talking to one another this is life now the question arises why would Allah subhana WA Ta'ala give this to our Prophet SAW Sodom and not to give him something that is a fairytale marriage and the response is that how else would we learn how to cope with our own marital problems and issues our prophets assalam was a human the best human but a human and his wives were human and therefore their problems were resolved in the best manner so we learned from how they resolved their problems and this is shown I mean again so much can be said here but of the most important things is that in this society women were mistreated and abused it was the norm to physically discipline a woman and in fact in some versions Ramona kebab was reported to have hit his wife when she responded back to him and some versions of the hadith that he disciplined his wife and in a society that accepted physically disciplining a woman it is beyond the shadow of a doubt that our professor Salaam never once lifted his finger against in a society that was the norm it was not just acceptable it was what happened everybody did it it's something that is standard and yet our profit system as I assure himself herself said I share self said that will law he she swore by Allah never was the hand of the process am lifted up against any woman or any servant in a society where everybody hit their women and hit their servants and slaves he never did that so this demonstrates for us the perfect role model of our profit system in the treatment of women however disciplinary actions sometimes is required by one or both of the parties so what is that disciplinary action well first and foremost you ask you tell you demand what you want then after that if that doesn't work we have it in the example of the process which is what leave for a while right don't be with the person leave them for a while and let things calm down and Allah says in the Quran why do you ruin a film about you leave them abandon them in their beds in their houses now notice inshaallah none of you brothers and this audience do this but unfortunately stories like this do exist that the man tells his wife to leave and this is unlock this happens the man leaves not the woman the man leaves not the woman where did the wise of the process go nowhere they stayed home if the situation gets so bad they're shouting there's yelling they're screaming and you don't want to sleep in the same better what not it is the man who either sleeps on the sofa or goes somewhere else not the woman and this again shows us the the mannerisms of Islam our process and I'm left not the women you never kick a woman out of her house unless the divorce takes place that's a separate thing that is not her house right then she goes to her but otherwise no matter how about the situation the man leaves and not the woman of the benefits that we gain from from all of this is that the news of the marital problems of the process of them spread to the entire city not just that Allah revealed in the Quran verses and this shows us that to have a marital problem is not in and of itself something that is so embarrassing that it is like taboo that nobody can talk about it we have extremes in our societies especially in Muslim cultures where it becomes complete taboo to mention marital problems and it's a problem because when you mentioned two other people solutions can be found when you go to family when you go to friends and you tell them what's happening solutions can be found when our culture tells us that do not talk about any problem now of course the flip side is you talk about every problem that's the other extreme and as usual Islam is in the middle obviously husbands and wives obviously I don't need to be you know but still you don't go and tell every minor argument and he said this and she said that to everybody in the world but on the flip side nor should you think that it is taboo to go and tell major problems in this incident the whole city of Medina knows that the process of men is why I was having an argument and there in the messages crying because they love the processor they love and they're hurt at his hurt but the process is not embarrassed that they know I'm having a marital issue right and this shows us it's not and this is especially problem with the men especially especially the men women may be the opposite probably talk too much about the problems of the marriage and that's a problem right but men have the exact opposite problem they don't want to go to counseling they're embarrassed in this message it we have had so many marital classes right every time we've had a marital class mashallah sister section full brother section five brothers three brothers ten brothers that's it it's as if for the brother to show up it's something that he's it's a taboo it's embarrassing and this is wrong we all need help we all have problems with our wives every one of us if I process them had problems do you think your marriage is not gonna have problems it's human nature the good marriage is not the one that doesn't have problems it's that Chava the problems are trivial compared to the positives that's the good marriage right and there's no doubt or process and had the best marriage then in that case how often did this happen in his lifetime once once in his entire lifetime once was it so bad that he had to leave frankly for most of us how many times did that happen right don't answer that question guys but I'm saying so this is the perfect marriage right this is the perfect marriage that one time in his life it got so bad that so he demonstrated for us how to so and by the way I mean this is a marriage class here time is already over but somehow along one of the best ways to solve a problem is to just separate for a while let both parties cool off calm down this is one of the best ways because the both of them realize you know what I was a little bit too talk about us when we have it right as for our process of course he did not do anything wrong there's nothing you know he did not he was quiet of course but he I gave them the opportunity to make them realize you know I went too far right but in our situation when that happens and we leave the parties leave one another for a day and obviously one month was a long time and they needed that one month to think this matter through who should they choose but for us we leave for a day two days what not this gives both parties the time to calm down to think about what was the problem and then overcome it and this was at what our prophet sallal I said him did another benefit is that the in-laws can and should get involved if the need arises or whatever hot Bob comes and he gets involved and he tells his daughter don't do this do that you need something come to me whatever and it's positive for the in-laws to get involved if they do so wisely and this negative if they do so unwisely of the benefits of this story is that and this is a filthy benefit the husband has the right to give his wife the option of divorce which is what a process em did and v this is called FDR choose so the husband can say to the wife that so this is not the husband giving divorce because that's divorce this is the husband giving the option of divorce to his wife so he will tell the wife let's say they had a major issue a major problem they cannot resolve it so the husband can say look you have a day think about it and if you want to divorce you may divorce so he gives her the power of divorce clear usually who has the power to divorce the man has the power and that's the meaning of what is Italian a henna dodge' that the man has a degree over the woman meaning the power of divorce but it is halal and it is in some occasions wise because in this case did our process and one's divorce no he did not want divorce but what is he going to do so he tells his wives if you want then it is your choice and this is called idea and most of the Foca and it is in Charlotte the court's opinion they allow it in other words the husband has the right to delegate divorce to his wife but most of the PAS say a time period should be given and some of the folk AHA say no you may give it unlimited and from this and in particularly how if you mat have says this I think in the Box on e courts isn't it the case that when you get married you put the permanent is that correct those who got married in Pakistan isn't there a permanent clause there's a clause right in the contract I've been told about this that and this is the hanafi madhhab the other method I don't allow a permanent clause the other man I have say you have up to one month or one week so you give them a time because they say the other myth that if you give the wife the right to divorce then Allah statement well it is la la gente de Lajja will not apply that they both have the same right so the other mother I have say you put a time clause in but the hanafi madhhab says the time clauses eternal you have that right and Allah Harlan wishfully position is right but the husband should think as well if they give this right to the wives then this means at any time the wife can divorce and there's a wisdom while as a widget has not given this unconditionally to the woman nonetheless it is allowed to give her the choice of divorce for a time period this is pretty much all of them at I have allowed for a time period and if she chooses divorce then a product takes place at her saying it and this is in contrast to to the usual you understand right you understand what is happening here that if suppose the husband says you know after have a major fight they can't resolve it the husband does not want a budge but he understands his wife has a position so as you know what it's up to you if you want to leave I give you 24 hours the choice is yours now this is a TR he's giving her the choice and he's very clear that he understands Phil he understands what you're talking about and he tells her it's up to you if you want to leave you know you have until tomorrow night or whatever think about it so if in that 24 hours she says I've chosen that I want to end up to the air because I chose myself meaning I chose to leave basically then italic takes place at her saying it and this is never the case except in actia right otherwise the Tanakh takes place when he says it but in this case the talaq takes place when she says it because the husband has delegated that to her and this is the issue of FDR and if the wife chooses herself then according to the majority of scholars one divorce will take place one divorce will take place if she chooses herself and the final point and of course really the main point of this entire episode or incident today is the simplicity of the lifestyle of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa seldom that truly this is a sign that he's a prophet why else would he choose to live in this manner and to cause the people whom he loves to also live in a very simple manner you know it's one thing you sacrifice for yourself we can all do that but to sacrifice for your loved ones for your wives for your children that is really you are setting a standard for society and allah azzawajal did not want our process and to live like a king so he chose a very simple lifestyle and all of his wives were given this option you want to live like this go ahead if not then have your share of money and said I'm walaikum we will do that and none of them chose that and so the final point this also shows us the status of the mothers of the believers of maha tell meaning and with a dash Allah Ta'ala we conclude you

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Views: 98,271

Rating: 4.8427949 out of 5

Keywords: yasir, qadhi, official, islamic, scholar, seerah, prophet, muhammad, part 97, marital, dispute, with, wives, mother, of, the, believers, aisha, hafsa, memoona, 3rd, december, 2014

Id: 9iAIM0ovd6o

Length: 75min 23sec (4523 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 14 2014