Seeing Myself As Ugly: What Body Dysmorphia Feels Like

I didn't have children because I felt that I was so ugly that if I gave birth to anything that child would just be you know like a sort of a hideous monster and something that shouldn't have happened it's like me telling myself that I'm ugly all the time like my brain just sort of working overtime telling me all the things that are wrong disgusting I am absurd in discussing I am she's going for a really bad episode it's almost like she's trying to push you away through the years of being over when she's gone at least I've just learned to not react just don't do anything I think Leanne looks beautiful whatever I I don't see anything wrong with Leanne but she hates me for st. now for the last two years the love life has pretty much been non-existent which naturally is gonna drive you apart it took me a long time to get into my first relationship I didn't have my first proper relationship but that was about 20 I was just too scared you know those people that I fancied those people are even suspected fancied me you know but the fear of rejection was just off the scale the weird thing about really is that the fact that they're with you seems to prove that you must look okay that you must be at least normal you've opened yourself up to this person and there's this fear that one day they're just gonna wake up and realize how who you are but I imagine that every single morning that they would wake up to disco my god what have I done [ __ ] outside normal faces mine psychic almost deformed I just want a scratch off I wanted to go back again to have a think about what was happening in your life when you first started to experience that feeling of being humiliated rejected put down those memories had a lot of power didn't they it's hard when you see something to think that other people don't see that this either I'm seeing things that everybody else is seeing and everybody's lying or there's a psychological problem and I'm focusing on different things than what everyone else is focusing on what if they teach feuless i understand all the thought processes but what if i can't get past that negative image what do I do [Music]

Channel: BBC Three

Views: 694,406

Keywords: ugly, body, perception, dysmorphia, dysmorphic, image, self, bad, psychology, ugly me, documentary, bbc3, bbc three, bbc 3, liane, mental health, anxiety, minnie, cadat, maudsley, david veale

Id: iPXvm0fOE-0

Length: 2min 46sec (166 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 07 2018