- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU.
- OKAY. - AND... [laughter] - HERE'S ELLEN.
HERE'S THE WORLD. [laughter and applause] - SO YOU'RE
IN "THE MILLERS" WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
WILL ARNETT. - WILL ARNETT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? OKAY, SO WILL ASKS ME
TO GO TO DINNER. HE'S LIKE--'CAUSE I HAVEN'T
SEEN HIM IN A FEW MONTHS. THIS IS, LIKE, A YEAR AGO. AND I'M LIKE,
"YEAH, LET'S HAVE DINNER. WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER.
LET'S CATCH UP." SO I HANG UP THE PHONE,
AND HE GOES-- CALLS BACK AND HE GOES,
"WHAT ABOUT SWITZERLAND? LET'S GO
TO SWITZERLAND." I'M LIKE, "WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" SO HE GOES--I'M LIKE,
"OKAY, LET'S GO TO SWITZERLAND." THEN I HANG UP THE PHONE;
THEN HE CALLS BACK, "SCRAP IT.
LET'S GO TO ISTANBUL." AND I'M LIKE,
"ISTANBUL?" WELL, WE KNOW HOW
THE MIDDLE EAST LOVES THE GAYS. SO--FANTASTIC. I'M THERE WITH BELLS ON,
LITERALLY. SO--SO I'M LIKE, "YOU KNOW,
WHEN DOES ANYBODY EVER ASK YOU TO GO TO ISTANBUL,"
SO I'M LIKE, "YEAH, NO, I'M NEVER GO THERE
MY WHOLE LIFE. I'VE HEARD IT'S GORGEOUS.
LET'S GO." SO WE GO.
WE GET THERE. I DIDN'T KNOW
IT'S, LIKE, THE THIRD LARGEST CITY
IN THE WORLD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. WE GET OFF; THERE'S MILLIONS
OF PEOPLE, TONS OF TRAFFIC. I'M LIKE, "WE COULD'VE
JUST GONE TO NEW YORK." BUT IT'S BEAUTIFUL. I DON'T KNOW WHO'S BEEN THERE
OR IF YOU WANT TO GO. IT'S GORGEOUS. WE SAW ALL THE HISTORICAL
MONUMENTS THAT YOU SHOULD SEE. WE SAW THE BLUE MOSQUE
AND EVERY-- DO WE HAVE A PICTURE
OF THE BLUE MOSQUE? THERE IT IS. AND SO EVERY--
AND SO EVERY PLACE WE WENT TO, I CAME UP WITH A SONG. SO THIS ONE WAS... [singing]
I DON'T KNOW MOSQUE BUT I KNOW IT'S BLUE AND THEN THE OTHER ONE
WAS THE HAGIA SOPHIA. DO YOU KNOW
THE HAGIA SOPHIA? OH, THERE IT IS.
- UH-HUH. - GORGEOUS, AMAZING.
- GORGEOUS. - AND THAT WAS... [singing]
IT'S THE HAGIA SOPHIA IT'S THE THRILL
OF THE FIGHT AND WE--I THINK IT WAS THAT ONE
OR THE BLUE MOSQUE-- I CAN'T REMEMBER--WHERE
YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF OUT OF RESPECT,
WHICH EVERYBODY DID. IT WAS VERY AMAZING. LITTLE SMELLY.
LITTLE SMELLY IN THERE. NOT GONNA LIE.
- WHERE DID YOU STAY? - I STAYED AT A HOTEL
ON THE BOSPHORUS, WHICH WAS AMAZING. THE BOSPHORUS IS LIKE A STRAIT
OR, LIKE, A LITTLE RIVER THAT DIVIDES EUROPE
AND ASIA. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. AND I SAID TO SCOTTY,
MY OTHER HALF-- I SAID, "YOU KNOW,
IT'S KIND OF AMAZING"-- I DID MY BEST SARAH PALIN--
I GO, "I CAN SEE ASIA
FROM MY HOTEL." [laughter] BUT YOU REALLY CAN.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN? - NO.
- OKAY. SO YOU JUST HAVE TO GO.
IT'S AMAZING. SO YOU--
LITERALLY A BOAT RIDE. YOU JUST GET IN,
AND YOU'RE DONE. AND IT'S, LIKE,
YOU'RE IN ASIA. IT'S SO CRAZY.
BUT YOU'RE STILL IN TURKEY. SPEAKING OF TURKEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FOR THANKSGIVING? [laughter] YEAH, SO-- IS THIS THE LONGEST STORY
IN THE WORLD? - IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE IT.
- OKAY, SO THEN WE-- [laughter] - I ZONED OUT
A LONG TIME AGO. - TELL ME ABOUT IT, ELLEN. OKAY, SO-- YOU ZONED OUT
WHEN YOU PARKED YOUR CAR TODAY. SO--OKAY, SO WE GOT-- SO THEN WE WERE FINISHED
WITH THE TRIP. IT WAS AMAZING,
AND WE GOT BACK, AND THEN, LIKE, TWO WEEKS LATER,
I GET A CALL. WILL'S LIKE, "DID SOMEBODY
CALL YOU FROM CBS? THEY WANT YOU TO DO THIS SHOW,
'THE MILLERS.'" MONDAY NIGHT,
IT'S 8:30 UNTIL JANUARY-- WE'RE ON THURSDAYS
AFTER "BIG BANG THEORY." AND THEN I WAS LIKE,
"YEAH, IT'S SO BIZARRE. WE JUST WENT ON VACATION.
NOW WE'RE IN A SHOW TOGETHER." IT'S JUST THE COOLEST THING. - THAT'S THE GREATEST. FIRST OF ALL,
IT'S A FUNNY SHOW, AND THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER
MAKE IT EVEN FUNNIER. THAT MUST BE--
THERE MUST BE TIMES THAT WE SHOULD JUST WATCH REELS
OF OUTTAKES, RIGHT? - BY THE WAY--YES. HIS FAVORITE THING
TO DO TO ME-- LIKE, IF I HAVE MY SCRIPT-- CAN I BORROW
YOUR SCRIPT, ELLEN? WHEN I HAVE MY SCRIPT
IN MY HANDS-- LIKE, HOLD THAT--
HE'LL DO THIS. EVERY SINGLE DAY,
HE'LL GO-- HE'LL JUST KNOCK IT
OUT OF MY HAND. I GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
YOU GUYS, COME VISIT THE SET. [laughter] IT'S FUNNY,
'CAUSE YOU'RE CONCENTRATING. HE KNOCKS THE THING OUT. ANYWAY, IS IT TIME
FOR COMMERCIAL? I'M BORING MYSELF.
- NO, NOT YET. NOT YET, 'CAUSE WE WANT
TO GET TO THE KISS. YOU AND WILL KISSED.
- OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH.
THAT WAS ON THE-- - IS THAT YOUR FIRST KISS
WITH HIM? - [laughing] YES. THAT MY FIRST KISS
WITH WILL ARNETT, YEAH. YEAH, THAT WAS A STORY LINE
FROM LAST WEEK'S EPISODE. WHAT?
OH, THERE IT IS. YEAH.
- YEAH. - ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS?
- YEAH. - WE HAD TO DO THAT,
LIKE, 25 TIMES. HIS REQUEST. [laughter] BUT IT'S FUNNY. IF YOU SAW IT ON MONDAY,
IT WAS A FUNNY SHOW. - IT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY, BECAUSE AFTER HE--
THEY'RE PRETENDING TO MAKE HIS--
YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND JEALOUS, BUT THEN AFTER THE KISS,
YOU GET GROSSED OUT THAT A STRAIGHT MAN
KISSED YOU. - RIGHT.
- SO IT'S THE OLD SWITCHEROO.
