(male announcer)
At Fallbrook Middle School... [together]
Mr. Stormin' Norman Warner! (announcer)
Norman Warner was
a legendary teacher. <i> [people gasping]</i> Somebody get a doctor. (Dylan)
No teacher will ever compare
to Gramps. Hey, well, you know,
I'll be there. (Dylan)
You're a biology teacher. You're not... Stormin' Norman? (announcer)
Filling the big man's shoes... (girl)
What a geek. Oh, that's the stuff. (announcer)
Would take
a very special person. How you doing? My name is Michael D'Angelo. I was once a student here. (announcer)
Ryan Reynolds is Mr. D. He's the new guy
on the block. (announcer)
In his class... Everybody up, please. (announcer)
Every day... (Mr. D)
Jurassic period. (announcer)
Is an adventure. I just think
the guy's a showboat. Emancipation! (announcer)
Every student... Do you think I need
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? (announcer)
A hero. And every lesson... How much time do we have? (boys)
Not a lot. (announcer)
An inspiration. Time! Mr. D is a genius. (announcer)
His name is on everyone's lips. Mr. D. What did you say? (announcer)
Now the Warner legacy
is at risk. A Warner has won
Teacher of the Year for 43 years. (Bass)
I want you to decide whether you want
to be an educator. I'm taking you out. What do you mean? Mr. D. [all cheering] Mr. D for Teacher of the Year! Michael,
you do something to me. He's so shy. I think I'm attracted to that. Oh! (announcer)
But the real lessons
would take place... (Matt)
He's not going to let
any sickness get in his way. (announcer)
At the greatest school of all. Education is truly
a hero's journey. Let me take this journey
with you. [applause] Do one thing every day
that scares you. (Matt)
You don't just teach
the students; you teach the teachers too. Yeah! [cheering] [light instrumental music] ♪ ♪ (Untyde)
♪ Whatever makes you shine. ♪ ♪ There's a star in your eyes, ♪ ♪ but it's started
to fade out lately. ♪ ♪ All the things
that you've done ♪ ♪ don't seem to make
much difference, ♪ ♪ don't seem
to make you happy anymore. ♪ ♪ Always searching,
always wanting more. ♪ ♪ Why don't you take it? ♪ ♪ Why don't you make it? ♪ ♪ Don't stand there
looking for excuses, ♪ ♪ 'cause you won't get them. ♪ ♪ No, you won't get them
from me. ♪ ♪ ♪ (Dylan)
This is Fallbrook Middle School. My name is Dylan,
and I'm a student here. My grandfather teaches here. My father teaches here. Talk about pressure. Next year at my graduation, they'll expect me
to be valedictorian and give one of those
inspirational speeches, like the one Susie Jessop did
that day. Anguish, torment, ridicule. For some of us,
these have been our companions. Their faces have reared
their ugly heads <i> in forms of lab partners,
teammates, and carpools</i> shared reluctantly. So now we are moving on <i> where it will be
an equally treacherous road</i> with nothing to look forward to
except for the inevitable: alienation from the cool people,
who, if there is any justice <i> in this cruel world,</i> <i> will be waiting on us someday
in our local restaurants,</i> assuming we have enough money
to pay for our meals after spending <i> our hard-earned wages
on therapy.</i> <i> So with this,</i> let us step forth
into high school. Good luck. (Dylan)
That's my grandfather
and my dad. [applause] What seemed like the norm
turned out to be a day that would change our lives
forever. That was a little bit
of sunshine. <i> [laughter and applause]</i> You're welcome. This is very
inappropriate. Matty,
will you just relax? I think we ought
to take a moment to feel inspired
by the words from our valedictorian,
Susie Jessop. (Dylan)
Madman and Howard,
the self-appointed school MCs, were asked to take over. You'd have thought
they were opening in Vegas. We are here to present the student-elected
Teacher of the Year award. <i> (Howard)
This year's award comes</i> <i> as no surprise
to any of us.</i> I mean, he's been
at the school since... The Lincoln presidency. [laughter] And who can forget all those legendary stories,
like when he was caught in the custodial quarters
with that phys. ed. instructor? What was her name? Margaret McGillicuddy! That was very
inappropriate. She was a babe. He's a man who's taught me how
to get the most out of the 7th grade, even if it takes me
a couple of years. [laughter] <i> Ladies and gentlemen,</i> it is our adolescent honor
to present... For the 43rd
consecutive year... The student-elected
Teacher of the Year award... [together]
To Mr. Stormin' Norman Warner! Give it up! [applause] Thank you. Well, after so many years, I don't know what to say
anymore, mainly because, at my age, I have forgotten
most of the English language. [laughter] There is one thing that even
old age can't take away, and that is the gift
of teaching, <i> the miracles that we see
every day</i> in the eyes of those
who open their minds to the world of knowledge. Miracles can happen
if you let them. [applause] Take your-- <i> [people gasping]</i> Dad, Dad. Hey, get back. Let him breathe.
Let him breathe. Dad? Dad! [whispers]
It's okay, Matty. Somebody get a doctor. Get a doctor! (Bass)
Call 911! Hurry! It's okay, Dad.
I'm here. I'm here, Dad. I'm here. It takes less than death <i> to kill a man.</i> What, Dad? Calm down. Where--where's my trophy? Somebody get the trophy. It's here. You'll be okay. Here it is. Here's your trophy. Matty? Don't die on me. What? Don't die on me. I don't understand. Take--take your shot. What shot, Dad? Dad, what shot? Dad! Dad. Dad. Daddy. (Dylan)
I still wonder what it would have been like
to be there that day. Dad says Mom and I were spared
a bitter memory. The worst part
of not being there is the feeling that you
could have helped in some way, maybe even changed the outcome. I'll always remember
what Gramps used to say: "Life is tiny, so don't ever
miss the opportunity to spread your wings,
to soar." But at times like this, I wonder
if Maggie Little said it best. Life sucks,
and then you die. Thank you.
That really helps. You okay, honey? I'm okay, Ellie. Hey, where's Dylan? I learned a lot from you,
Gramps. I'll miss you. I made a decision that day. No matter how old I got,
I'd stop by and see him, bring him flowers or those chocolate-covered
coffee beans he loved so he'd know I remembered
how important he was to me. Hi. Hi. Just like this guy was doing
for someone he cared about. It didn't take me long
to realize that when it came
to paying tribute to Gramps, I'd better be prepared
to stand in line. <i> [door squeaks]</i> Hey. You're still awake. Couldn't sleep. You okay? Next year, I was supposed
to be in Gramps' class. I know you were,
and I'm sorry. I was looking forward
to that too. Yeah. No teacher will ever
compare to Gramps. Hey, well, you know,
I'll be there. I mean, if you need me. Yeah, but you're
a biology teacher. So? It's just different. Why? Well, you're not... Stormin' Norman? Let me tell you something,
kiddo. A Warner has won
Teacher of the Year at Fallbrook for 43 years. Yeah, but that was Gramps. Well, here's a little secret. Number 44 is gonna be
a Warner too. <i> You just watch and see.</i> Dad, that's not important. You bet it's important. Now get some sleep,
okay, kiddo? <i> (Ellie)
Matty, come to bed.</i> I'm already in the room. You just can't see me;
I'm in a shadow. [bell rings] (Dylan)
I'm convinced my parents
didn't even know we got the paper. Hey, Mom,
are we religious? Why? I think
I just heard Dad praying. All right,
this is my year. I am relaxed,
and my eyes are open. Where's my lunch? [clears throat] Oh. I saw it.
Just testing. You're going
to be great, honey. Thanks. Hey, 8th grade,
kiddo. You all set? Uh-huh. Bye. Bye, honey. Okay, ready
for a new school year. You got everything? Uh-huh. Me too.
Come on. Honey? You might need this. Love you. Hey, honey. Relax. <i> (boy)
Wow, look at everybody.</i> <i> (girl)
Laura, wow, I haven't seen you
all year.</i> Morning,
everyone. Good morning, kids. Good morning. (Dylan)
Probably one
of the most amazing things I learned from my dad was
how to make myself invisible. It's a great day, huh? Just keep walking.
Just ignore him. <i> (Matt)
It's going to be a great year.</i> (Dylan)
See? I'm gone, vanished. Hey, what are you doing? Uh, nothing. Just stretching out. Okay. Okay, kiddo. Let's see who goes first. Call it. (Dylan)
The coin toss was my idea. Tails. You know, how you don't want to be seen
hanging with your dad. Good luck, Dad. Hey, who needs luck? This is my year. (Dylan)
Especially if he's a teacher... at your school. [rock music] (The YoYos)
♪ Whoa. ♪ ♪ Welcome to the time
of your life. ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪ ♪ Welcome to the time
of your life. ♪ ♪ Whoa. ♪ ♪ Welcome to the time... ♪ (Dylan)
The first day
of the new school year is always a little awkward. People you know,
people you don't know, and the ones
you only dream about. Chase Witherspoon. I was way too shy
to even look at her. But, hey, if it was
my dad's lucky day, why not mine too, right? Hi, Chase. Hi. Wrong. Guys. What a geek. (Dylan)
The one chance I had,
and I had blown it big-time. thud! Hi. Hi. How you doing? I've been better. Let me tell you something. In order to impress a woman, when you fall... Mm-hmm? It's got to make a louder thunk,
you know? Like this. [groans] Oh, that's the stuff. You got it? That really works, huh? Hey, with women,
there are no guarantees. But I can tell you this:
it's worked for me. And I've fallen
for a lot of women. Hey, I know you. You're-- History. Well, I see many familiar faces
out there. And for those of you
I already know, hello. And for all you new students, well, how about a nice big
Fallbrook welcome? [cheers and applause] I'm Principal Bass. And I look forward to getting
reacquainted with you. Hopefully, these acquaintances
will take place in the hallways and at breaks
and not down at my office, if you understand
what I'm saying. [laughter] <i> Now, it's my privilege
to introduce you</i> to a fine group of educators,
your department heads. If you could just stand
when I call your name, please. Um, mathematics,
Maggie Little. Welcome back, Maggie. [applause] Miserable little bastards. <i> (Bass)
For English,</i> Don Parks. Don? <i> [applause]</i> <i> (kids)
Boring!</i> <i> (Bass)
For physical education,</i> Vern Cote. Hi, Coach. [cheers and applause] <i> (boy)
Go, Coach!</i> For art, Ms. Denise Davies. Good morning, Ms. Davies. [cheers and applause] All right, fellas.
Come on. For science, the son of our late, great
Stormin' Norman Warner... [cheers and applause] Matt Warner. Matt? [Bass applauding] [clears throat] <i> It's not an easy job
to replace an icon.</i> <i> So we are fortunate</i> to have an alumni of Fallbrook. <i> For history, would you please
make him feel welcome</i> <i> in his first year...</i> Mr. Michael D'Angelo. [applause] Sir, can I say
a few words? Sure, of course. Mr. D'Angelo
would like to offer some introductory
remarks. That's the guy
I was telling you about. C-c-cool. I think it's important
that you all know I'm only here until
a good fast-food job opens up. You know what I'm saying? [laughter] <i> My name
is Michael D'Angelo.</i> And as Principal Bass mentioned,
I was once a student here. And if any of you managed
to flunk, oh, say, 15 grades,
you may remember me. I was the shy, underdeveloped
girl with braces. [laughter] That's very inappropriate. <i> (Mr. D)
You know,</i> education is truly
a hero's journey. And it seems to me
that going to school is a lot like
a<i> Star Wars</i> movie. <i> You're all
Luke Skywalkers.</i> Or Lucy Skywalkers, <i> whichever applies.</i> <i> And school is just
one of the many places</i> that you're going to receive
your Jedi training. 'Cause we need to get ready
to go do battle against the evil empire. [laughter] Now, the evil empire
is not our school, our parents, or even the questionable
meat products in the cafeteria. <i> No.</i> You see, the evil empire
is a belief. <i> It's believing</i> that we have limitations. You don't. Whether you realize it
or not, every single one of you
is perfect. Norman Warner
was my Jedi master. <i> And the greatest lesson
that he taught me</i> was that I was my own teacher, <i> I was my own master.</i> And the lesson that I hope
to teach all of you is to not worry <i> about what you're doing,
'cause it doesn't matter.</i> Worry about who you're being. You do that, and there is
absolutely nothing stopping you from going out in this world
and kicking some serious ass. [laughter] He said "ass." Oh, relax, Warner. This is your light saber. Put it to a simple piece
of paper, <i> add heart and a little courage,</i> <i> and together we can make
this world a better place.</i> Let me take this journey
with you. Thank you. [cheers and applause] Mr. D!
Mr. D! [kids chanting] (Dylan)
Uh-oh, there it was, the dreaded shadow
falling over my dad. Mr. D, yes! Mr. D!
Mr. D! (Dylan)
Those of us in Mr. D's class
felt blessed, the envy of all others. (girl)
Where do we sit? (Dylan)
After all, if he could turn
a dull assembly into a rock-the-house rally, just think what he might do
with history class. This guy was nothing
like the other teachers. Hey, S-S-Seth. Aren't you
g-g-gonna get your m-mail? Back off, Brad. (Dylan)
Or was he? What if he turned out to be one
of those dark side Jedis? He had singled out
my good buddy Seth to do the one thing
he feared most. I-I-I'm supposed to read aloud? [laughter] <i> It says</i> there is no s-s-seating chart. (Dylan)
Whew, that was close. You see, a seating chart
is the first thing that separates the cool teachers
from the, well, you know. Everyone, please note
the seating chart on the blackboard. (boy)
Where are the shackles? People,
the seating chart exists <i> so that I can learn
your names faster</i> and open the lines
of communication between us. Um, Mr. Warner? Can I have a seat
at the front? Of course you can. Hey, can I have
a seat at the back? Of course you can't. <i> (Mr. D)
Good morning, class.</i> Well, I'm glad to see
everyone so happy with where they're sitting. Thank you, Seth. <i> That wasn't so hard,
was it?</i> But don't get
too comfortable yet. <i> Okay.</i> Can someone tell me
the origin of this word? Chase. <i> (girl)
Mr. D?</i> How do you know
her name already? (boy)
Yeah, you're not already
picking favorites, are you? Okay. People, I have one
very simple rule in this class. You do my homework,
and I'll do yours. [laughter] Scratch that. I'll do your homework,
and you do mine. No, that's not it. Can someone tell me
what I'm trying to say? <i> Dylan.</i> We do our homework,
and you do yours? Yes, that's it! Thank you very much. You do your homework,
and you do mine. [laughter] You guys ready
to have some fun? [clears throat] What is life science? Well, I'll tell you. Life science is the greatest
mystery in the universe. Now, who can tell me
why that is? Uh...Devon. Because in the vastness
of the universe, the only evidence of any real life
is here on planet Earth. Very good. <i> Uh...</i> Patty. But what about Mars? I heard they found
some Martians. Well, Patty,
what they actually found was a meteorite <i> that they believe
broke off from Mars</i> <i> millions of years ago.</i> <i> And they think
that it might contain</i> <i> fossilized microorganisms.</i> But, now, whether or not
that is proof of life is still a mystery. <i> Yes, uh...</i> Clyde. One of the greatest mysteries
I know has been unsolved
for ages. Not one man has come even close
to solving this one. Well, this sounds
very interesting, Clyde. So what is it? What is this mystery? Why we have to take
this boring class. [laughter] [sighs] Chase? You were about to tell me about the origin
of the word "history." It means "his story," stories where how people
used to tell their kids about what happened
in the past. Nice moves. Ssss! You're on fire. <i> Okay.</i> But what's wrong
with that word? Brad? I don't know. Yes, you do. Okay, let me
help you out. Heather? <i> What did you do
this summer?</i> Huh? Anything; you can
make it up if you want. Um, well, Kylie, Chase, and me took my dad's car
and drove to Las Vegas. There you go. I'm going to have
to report you <i> to the proper authorities,
but good nonetheless.</i> <i> Now, Seth.</i> What's wrong
with Chase's explanation of the word "history"? Um, g-girls
have stories too? Oh, yeah. <i> Now,</i> how would you redefine
what we're going to study here? Um... H-h-his <i> and h-h-her story.</i> Do you actually have
a stutter, Brad, or is it just a mouthful
for you? [laughter] You're different and special
in your own way. Live it.
Own it. Okay, guys,
what we're going to do is combine the two words, his- and herstory. <i> Now,</i> as Chase mentioned before, the way in which
his- and herstory was recorded before we started
writing it down was simply by telling it. People would gather round, and a storyteller
would entertain and educate. Since I know you all to be true
his- and herstorians, let's do just that. Everybody up, please.
Let's go. <i> Everybody's desk
in a circle.</i> <i> It'll be like PE
and history all in one.</i> <i> There you go.</i> I apologize
for the interruption. Now, where were we? [rock music] (Dylan)
Mr. D had disappeared
into his closet, leaving us sitting
in a circle and me sitting right next
to Chase Witherspoon. <i> (Mr. D.)
I believe</i> it was Moses,
yes, Moses that said, as he looked out
onto the Red Sea, "Part. I've got to get
to an NRA meeting." [laughter] All right. [sighs] That's nice. How much time do we have? The answer to that question, <i> my friends,
is not on that clock.</i> How much time do we have? Not a lot. That's how much time we have:
not a lot. (Dylan)
This guy was cool. And when he looked at you,
well, you felt cool too. Now that we know the answer
to this question, I would like you all
to understand that from this moment forward,
each and every minute, every second is precious for each and every one of you. <i> But most importantly,</i> if Principal Bass comes in here looking for a brown leather
antique high-backed chair, I was never here. [laughter] (Dylan)
They could have served
squid eyes for lunch, and no one would have noticed. The only thing
on everybody's mind was Mr. D. <i> (girl)
...so much fun.</i> <i> (girl)
No way, you got Mr. D?</i> [sighs] Miserable little bastards. And a good morning
to you too, Maggie. Piss off, Parks. Hey, everyone! Hello, fellow educators. Hey, I got
some learners out there. Really good first morning. <i> (Little)
Is it my imagination,</i> or are these kids
reaching puberty sooner than they used to? <i> (Parks)
It's television, Maggie.</i> Pretty soon, 3rd graders
will be getting boob jobs. <i> As far as language skills,</i> English is officially dead. Word up, dude. My kids are great. Of course they're great;
you teach art. I think I'm offended by that. Should I be? Mm-hmm. <i> (Matt)
Hey, come on, you guys.</i> The day's only half over. Besides, these kids
are easy to reach. You just have to relate to them
on their own level. Speaking of that, was Mr. D's speech this morning
amazing, or what? All hail.
The metaphor lives on. Never in all my years
have I seen a teacher <i> so quickly embraced
by the students...</i> with the exception <i> of your father, Matt.</i> (Coach)
Mr. D... rules. Hey, wait a minute. I don't understand this. Why are we calling him
Mr. D? <i> (Davies)
I don't know.</i> <i> It's just--</i> It seems so-- <i> He's just--</i> He's just Mr. D. Morning, everyone. Say, has anyone seen
Mr. D? gulp [bell rings] (Dylan)
By the end of the day, Mr. D was the talk
of the entire school. Stories told at lunch had grown
to almost legendary proportion. Mr. D is so cool. I know. Having no seating chart
is awesome. (Dylan)
Even kids that weren't
in Mr. D's class acted like they were. Mr. D is so cute. (Dylan)
Or wished they were. Man, I wish I was
in Mr. D's class. [rock music] Let's go!
We're almost done! ♪ ♪ Come on, boys! Let's keep it going! Keep it going.
Keep it going. I'm right behind you. Come on; you don't see me
slowing down, do you? Hi. Hey, you're Mr. Warner. Oh, hi. Michael D'Angelo. We didn't get a chance to-- To meet. To meet, yeah. Yeah. After the assembly. No. <i> Yeah.</i> Yeah, boy, I'm sorry
about your father. Yeah. You're a very lucky man. Excuse me? That didn't sound
right at all. What I meant to say <i> was that it must
have been something</i> growing up under
Stormin' Norman Warner. Oh, yes, it was.
It was. Yeah, man,
he cast quite a shadow. You know, I forgot something. <i> I'm going to--I'm late.
I gotta go.</i> But it was nice
meeting you, Mr.-- Matt. Mr. Matt.
Mr. Warner. Matt. Matt. (Matt)
He brushed me off. He doesn't even know you. Oh, so you're saying
that if he did know me, then he would
brush me off? I am not even
going to have this conversation. I just think
the guy's a showboat. He's the new guy
on the block. That's not easy. Oh, I don't know.
Maybe you're right. Hey, Dyl. Hey, Dylan. Hey, kiddo,
not out of the carton. How was practice? Let's just say
that if we win a game <i> at any sport this year,
it'll be a miracle.</i> That bad? I wish we were bad. We just flat-out suck. Wait a minute. I think Vern Cote
is a pretty great coach. Dad, I can't even
address that. So did you fall
for any new girls? Mom, what are you doing to me? Your mother
just wanted to know <i> what kind of day
you had.</i> <i> (Dylan)
Let me give you</i> the Cliff Note version. If it weren't for Mr. D, <i> this would have been</i> the most embarrassing day
of my life. <i> [bicycle bell rings]</i> See ya, Dad. Have a good one. What I want all of you to do
is to imagine that you are free to study any aspect
of life science that you choose. Anything? Anything, as long as it relates
to life science. <i> It can be
an interesting plant</i> or an animal that you've been
wondering about. What about
the female anatomy? [laughter] Class, there's nothing funny
about the female anatomy. <i> Clyde, if you can take</i> that topic seriously, then that would certainly
qualify. Awesome. <i> (Matt)
All right, class.</i> <i> All right.</i> Now, once you make your pick,
I want each of you to write a description
of your respective topics. What are
respective topics? Well, they're the ones
that you choose. I mean, you know,
each of you individually. I mean, they're--you know,
they're all of your-- each of your topics. Well, that clears it up. <i> Good.</i> Now, then I want you
to explain why you chose-- <i> [bugle fanfare]</i> Charge! [children yelling] <i> [fife playing]</i> <i> [bugle fanfare]</i> Hey, Dad! I'm going to free
the slaves. I'm going to free the slaves. Uh, it's nothing, class. <i> Just stay in your seats.</i> I've been killed. No, it's not that bad. It just looks bad. Not that you look bad. It is serious. Serious? Do you think I need
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? (Dylan)
Oh, this was tempting. <i> (Mr. D)
Private Warner!</i> The first recorded use <i> of mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation</i> <i> on the battlefield</i> was March 4, 1944. World War II,
mister! Nice try, though. <i> Make love, not war.</i> On your own time! <i> Freedom is at stake.</i> The fall of racism
is in your hands, and you two
are flirting around. He was saving me. Well, then you'd better
save her for later, solider! How much time do we have? Not a lot, Mr. D. (Chase)
Not a lot. Then help her up, man. I got to get
to the theater. That didn't sound right. Emancipation! <i> [bugle fanfare]</i> Ha ha! Mr. Warner? Yes, Timmy? I was wondering if you
could nuke my MoonPie. Excuse me? My MoonPie. Can you put it
in the microwave? Timmy, if I nuke your MoonPie, then every student will want
to use the microwave. Now, do you think
that's the purpose of the faculty lounge? I guess not. Okay, then. Hey, Matt.
Glad you're here. I know.
I know. Look, the way
I see it, nobody should tell
anybody else how to teach, but obviously, he needs
to understand the parameters <i> in which
we work here, right?</i> What the hell
are you talking about? D'Angelo. What about him? What do you mean,
what about him? We were just talking
about how creative <i> Mr. D's methods are</i> and how maybe
we could all be a little more creative
with our own. Creative? Oh, well, that's one way
of looking at it. Hey. <i> Here he is.</i> Hi. (Dylan)
Okay, this is where
the craziness starts. Mr. D had taken the ball and was going all the way
into the end zone. All he needed now
was a cheerleader. That's not a very healthy lunch. Oh. That's not really
my lunch. (Matt)
Of course it isn't. I know what that is. You want to know
what that is? Christ, Warner,
it's a MoonPie. What is your problem? <i> [microwave beeps]</i> Excuse me. See you,
Mr. D. He's so shy. I think I'm attracted to that. (woman)
Yeah, just set that there. [telephone rings] Good morning,
crisis center. I have a crisis. Matt, honey, honey,
take a deep breath. <i> Just--</i> Don't say it. I didn't say it. What's going on? It's not a shadow anymore. It's an eclipse.
It's a total eclipse. I could have lived
with a shadow. Matt, slow down. What are you talking about? Mr. D. Who's going in?
Anybody. I'll do your homework
for a month. <i> [whistle blows]</i> (Dylan)
I think I was being kind when I said we were just bad. Ow! Are you all right? Okay, so who wants to go in?
You? You. What about you? You. You know, I'm better
at calling the game, Coach. (Dylan)
We were about to make history: the first junior high team
to ever go on strike. So let me guess. You didn't nuke the pie. Of course I didn't. What? Mr. D would have nuked
the pie. He did. Oh.
[laughs] Hey, could you do me
one favor? Anything. Could you not say Mr. D? Because that's all
I ever hear. Mr. D, Mr. D, Mr. D. I'm beginning to hate
the letter. How do those shoes feel? Large. They're the right size
for you. You think so? I know. Don't feel guilty. About what? About stepping
out of his shadow. I still hear him
telling me to relax. I know. To not judge something
even before I've seen it. I know. How do you always know
exactly what I'm feeling? I don't know. (Dylan)
The next morning, my dad took the trophy
back to the school. He had finally emerged
from the shadow. Free at last. Mr. Warner, for the record,
would you like to comment on a rumor spreading
around the school? What rumor? It would appear
that Mr. D has emerged as the frontrunner
in this year's race for Teacher of the Year. Look, I don't really want
to comment about that, okay? If rumor becomes truth, then this will be
the first time in 44 years that the name "Warner"
does not appear on the trophy. Look, I really don't-- I don't want to speculate
about that. Whoa, 44 years. Must be an enormous
amount of pressure. I mean,
how does that feel, a family tradition,
an unprecedented record left in your hands and hanging
by a delicate thread? And Mr. D is standing
on top of you with a pair
of giant scissors. Care to comment, sir? Look, let me just say
that the year is far from over and that change
is in the air. Okay, that's all
I got to say here. In the air? Do you smell something? [sniffs] [farting noise blaring] Oh, dude,
that was so wrong. [dramatic music] ♪ ♪ Let's see what we have
in here. Okay. Jurassic period. Tyrannosaurus rex. Middle finger. [laughter] Okay. Leg bone. Early man. <i> Extra crispy.</i> We have here
doggy bone. June. [laughter] Of last year. Oh, this is the greatest find
of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, swimsuit edition, March,
no articles. This is going to go
in Dr. D's private collection. [rock music] (GOB)
♪ Take a chance on me. ♪ ♪ But I know, I know ♪ ♪ these feelings that I have
inside of me, ♪ ♪ in me. ♪ ♪ My belly's burning,
and it's turning. ♪ ♪ Don't you see? ♪ ♪ I'm upset.
As yet no regrets. ♪ ♪ If there ever was a time ♪ ♪ when I could go back
and make it all fine ♪ ♪ with you,
I wanna pursue. ♪ ♪ All the blood and tears
I've sweated. ♪ ♪ All the work,
we can't forget it. ♪ ♪ You'll see.
Take a chance on me. ♪ ♪ But I know, I know ♪ ♪ these feelings that I have
inside of me, ♪ ♪ in me. ♪ ♪ My belly's burning,
and it's turning. ♪ ♪ Don't you see? ♪ ♪ I'm upset.
As yet no regrets. ♪ ♪ ♪ Hey, guys. Hey. I could bring it up
or leave it down here. She said, "Bring it up;
bring it up." Hey, girls. Want to hear
about the mystery of science? ...that she would turn that entire hotel
upside down. She's screaming
and telling him that he's so stupid. [laughter] Lipstick,
eye shadow... ♪ I'm upset.
As yet no regrets. ♪ ♪ I'm upset.
As yet no regrets. ♪ ♪ I'm upset.
As yet no regrets. ♪ ♪ ♪ That's number seven
for the teachers, and it looks like
we're on our way to another student victory. Thanks in part
to Matt Warner, <i> who continues on his way
to capturing the LVP award,</i> <i> least valuable player:</i> <i> 11 errors
and 7 strike-outs.</i> It's not a good day
for the Biology Basher. Okay, Warner,
you've been throwing me nothing but meatballs
all day. If you don't throw me
something I can hit, your grades may be
seriously affected. <i> [cheering]</i> Lucky for you, <i> Warner!</i> Uh, Matt, Matt? Matt, I'm taking you out. What do you mean? Mr. D. I'm ready to go. Coach,
I am telling you-- (Coach)
I know. Come on. Come on. And now a bold
but not surprising move by Coach Vern Cote. Pinch-hitting for Matt Warner
is Mr. D. Big hit,
Mr. D! <i> Big hit!</i> Okay, Mr. D! Drive us home! Okay, bring on the heat,
Dylan. And be gentle on me; <i> I'm old.</i> Warner winds up,
and here's the pitch. He's done it! (Dylan)
Students and teachers alike
were swirled up into the whirlwind of Mr. D. You gave me that one, Dylan. <i> It's not my birthday.</i> Thank you. Whoo hoo-hoo! I love you, Mr. D. (Dylan)
Okay, almost everybody. Mom, Mom. You wouldn't have believed
the game today. You won? No, we lost. But you should have seen
Mr. D. He was unbelievable. Bottom of the ninth. And boom! He was like Barry Bonds. Wow, I bet
your dad's excited. [sighs] Who needs a hug? You're working late. Hi. Hi. Hi. I know you keep to yourself,
Mr. D. Michael. Please, call me Michael. Michael. I'm pretty sure
I don't want to bother you, but you do something to me. And then I started thinking that I can only be feeling that
sort of, you know, whatever, unless the other person <i> who's doing it to me
is also feeling</i> <i> that kind of something.</i> Does that make
any sense to you? It makes all the sense
in the world. Really? Yeah, it really does. And I would--I would really, <i> really like to go have coffee
with you sometime.</i> Or go bowling. Bowling? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure
I like bowling. I love bowling. <i> But the fact is,</i> I can't. And I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, me too. Yeah. Ms. Davies? You are very attractive. Call me Denise. I would love nothing more
than to call you... Denise. Mm, Ellie. Mm, Matty. (Dylan)
I'm not claiming
to know any specifics that go on
in my parents' bedroom, but something happened
that night. Matty. Ellie. Mr. D. What did you say? Why are you stopping? You said, "Mr. D." Why on Earth
would I say "Mr. D"? I don't know.
You tell me. Oh, how did you know? I've hidden my feelings for a man
I've never even met, and somehow you knew. Well, I can't hide them
anymore, Matt. I'm in love with Mr. D. I distinctly
heard you say-- Oh, are you losing
your mind? Hey, I'm not the one
who's being unfaithful. Oh, great, now you're going
to go sleep on the couch? (Dylan)
Well, I guess
if you're going to go crazy, you might as well
dress for it. I don't think my dad even knew
what he was looking for. But that didn't stop him. He was a man on a mission. Unrelenting, obsessed. I got you. Huh. Nice chair. Oh, Carl wants to know
what characterizes sarcodines. Can anyone help out? [children clamoring] I know it.
I know the answer. I know the answer. Everyone knows the answer?
Wow. Pick me, Mr. Warner.
Pick me. Devon. Sarcodines are characterized by extensions
of the cell membranes. (girl)
Can we have school
every day of the week? I can't teach classes
after school or on weekends. [school bell rings] Oh, my God, come on. You guys have got
to see this. [snoring] [children laughing] Uh, Mr. D'Angelo wanted you all
to prepare your lesson. Do--go do that. (boy)
Nice jammies, Mr. Warner. So I'll talk to you
tomorrow, then. Faculty emergency. Mr. Warner! She'll have
to call you back. Hey! That's a physical
impossibility. [cell phone rings] Hello. Ellie, I'm so glad
that I caught you. I've been worried sick. I came down this morning
to apologize, and you were gone. I'm already at school. I was trying to locate
a grade book that I forgot. Well, we've got your lunch
and your briefcase, which you also forgot. I know, I know, I know. Listen, could you bring me
a change of clothes and some shoes
and some socks too? We're already on the road, and what part of this
are you not telling me? Ellie, believe me,
everything is going to be okay. I got him. Got who?
Matt-- D'Angelo. I'll tell you about it
when you get here. <i> Bye.</i> Geek. Honey, I need to ask you
a serious question. Sure, Mom. Why does Mr. D have
the effect he does on everybody? And I thought it was going
to be a tough one. Humor me. Well, he treats us
like we're his friends. I mean, his lessons
aren't lessons. They're mysteries that
the whole class has to solve. Do you know what I mean? All I understand
is that "mystery" is the key word here. What am I saying, sir? With all due respect, it's right here
in his roll book. It's the secret
of his popularity. Look at this. Straight As across the board, without exception. I mean, who wouldn't
love this guy? They're all going to Harvard. Matilda, would you
contact Mr. D <i> and have him
come in here, please?</i> <i> (Matilda)
Okay.</i> Thank you. <i> So, Matt, can I--</i> can I get you anything? <i> Cup of coffee?</i> No. A shower? Bowl of Froot Loops? [laughs]
Very good. This is a delicate situation. I know it is. And I need to handle this
in a manner which will prevent you
further embarrassment. I know you do. I know you don't. You're confused. But don't worry; clarity
is just around the corner. [knocking at door] Come in. Ah. You wanted to see me? Mr. D, I wanted to be
the first to congratulate you. <i> It seems you've made
a little bit of history</i> down at the National Board
of Education. Really? <i> (Bass)
Yes, you're the first teacher</i> <i> to ever have an entire class
receive straight As,</i> using the standardized
test system. <i> (Mr. D)
Oh, wow.</i> Oh, and they've sent over
this little token <i> of their appreciation
and gratitude.</i> Well, well, I'm very proud
of those kids, sir. <i> (Bass)
Oh, well,
we're very proud of you.</i> Keep up the good work. Congratulations. Thank you, sir. Matt? Oh, oh. Well, congratulations. Thank you. Hey, nice. Oh, thank you. Oh! I think this belongs
to you as well. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Bye, now. Standardized tests? Standardized test systems. You can't cheat
on standardized tests. I know. Sweetheart,
go to class. Okay.
Bye, Mom. Matilda, the only reason
Dylan is late is because his father called
and needed-- Don't tell me. A robe and a teddy bear. Uh, hi, honey. I got the day off. You want to do something? Honey, please. I'm sorry. Don't you "honey" me, Matt. Look, I was just doing
a last-minute lesson plan
checking situation, and I fell asleep. Honey, please. I need you right now. Ellie, I'm sorry, okay? I work with people
on a daily basis who have nothing. You have everything, and yet you seem determined
to turn it into nothing. That's not true. I just-- This is your job,
our life. And you show up
in your pajamas. Thank God
Dylan didn't see you. Ellie? Ellie, don't go. Ellie. <i> Ellie!</i> Ellie, slow down. It's a school zone! Happy Casual Tuesday, Matt. What a geek. (Dylan)
That's it. Game over. Complete shut-out. Why did I even think
I had a chance? Excuse me, Mr. D! Afternoon, Coach. Afternoon. I'm not
a very good athlete. I'm not
a very good coach, either. Why they keep me here
on staff, I'm not sure. We haven't won a game
in any sport since I started
three years ago. We got basketball season
coming up, and judging by your performance
at the softball game, you're quite an athlete. And you can walk
really fast too. [panting] Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. I think you're really
going to enjoy this. Take that there. That one's heavy. Just plop that on top. Should I be confused? No, not at all. We'll go for coffee after. After what? Bowling. I love bowling. (Sam Roberts)
♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪ ♪ My eyes are seeing. ♪ Oh! ♪ ...is believing. ♪ Ready? <i> Rock and roll.</i> ♪ And your love is deceiving. ♪ Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. ♪ ...are seeing. ♪ ♪ And seeing is believing. ♪ Your shot, darlin'. ♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪ It's getting late. Do you have to go? How much time do you have? [laughs] Not a lot. I know what you mean. I've got a montage materials
marathon at home. Chop, chop, snip, snip. Basically shred everything
in my apartment I don't want, including, in case
you were wondering, a picture
of my old boyfriend. Hmm, then you and the kids, you guys cut
and paste them onto-- Papier-mâché farm animals. Cool. Is there a petting zoo
I should know about? Want to come back
to my place, do some papier-mâché things? It could be messy. You know, Denise, I should tell you
that I'm spoken for. Actions speak
louder than words. ♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪ ♪ Your eyes are seeing. ♪ ♪ And seeing is believing. ♪ ♪ My love is freeing. ♪ ♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪ I don't have everything
unless I have you. <i> [romantic classical music]</i> ♪ ♪ I'm Ellie Warner. I'm Matt Warner,
jackass. You're my jackass. Your dinner awaits. Am I in the right house? Hey, what's wrong? Chase thinks
we're the Addams family. I'll be in my room. Dylan? And, Dad, please try not to come to school
in your pajamas. <i> It makes my life
a living hell,</i> and it's bad enough already. Jackass? Major. I'll be right here. Hey, kiddo. Listen, I'm sorry
I embarrassed you in front
of your girlfriend. She's not my girlfriend. She'll never be
my girlfriend. Dad? My heart hurts. Well, it's not really
your heart, Dylan. It sure feels like it. I know it does,
and it'll go away. I don't want it to. What do you mean? It hurts, but I feel...alive. <i> Mr. D said that sometimes
in order to be truly alive,</i> sometimes you need
to feel things, even if it hurts. Well, that's just one way
of looking at it. But remember how you told me
to solve my problems by putting them on a linear
branching logic tree? The logic tree,
yeah, absolutely. Yeah, well, I tried that. That's great. But then Mr. D's logic seemed <i> to make a lot more
sense to me.</i> So I think I'm going
to go with that. Oh. Hey, thanks, Dad. I feel better. All right. Have a good night. He cut down my tree. <i> [bicycle bell rings]</i> Now, class, in honor
of the beginning of our study of the human anatomy-- Hey, Mr. Warner,
no pajamas? No, Clyde,
no pajamas today. But I do have something that I think
you're going to enjoy. snap! Now, class,
everyone come on up here and gather
around my desk. And everyone
take a look at this. Ew. Now, can anyone tell me what this fleshy mass is? Something from
the cafeteria? It's a lung. Left side. <i> Most likely male.</i> Very good, Devon.
That's right. Mr. Warner,
what's that tube thingy? Let me show you. Watch this. Awesome! That is pretty awesome,
isn't it? And that is going on inside every one of you
right now. Now, let's try it
all together, all right? Deep breaths together. Follow me. <i> [knocking at door]</i> Hi, I'm sorry
to bother you. I just need to borrow
a piece of chalk. Oh, I'll get you a new box. Thank you. Hey, guys. Hey! <i> Sushi.</i> <i> Sweet.</i> That's good. <i> Okay, then.</i> In, out. And a one. <i> And a two.</i> <i> Feel the stretch now.</i> <i> Okay, that's good.
Stop.</i> <i> All right, everybody.</i> Jazzercise.
There we go. I'm sorry. Sorry. We were just studying
the lung. Thank you for the...
chalk. <i> Let's try that again.</i> Okay, here we go. thump! (all)
Mr. D.
Mr. D. Everybody, shut up! Can anybody give me-- Can anybody tell me
what that was an example of? A dictator? Thank you, Chase. <i> [bell rings]</i> Okay, people, we have a pop quiz
this Thursday. Chase, Dylan, I need you
to stay for a second, okay? <i> (boy)
Ooh!</i> "Ooh," yeah, yourselves. Beat it.
Have a good lunch. Eat a carrot. Will you guys put
your desks together for me? You know, one of the great
humanitarians of the world, Eleanor Roosevelt,
she once said, "Do one thing every day
that scares you." You guys comfortable? Thank you for your time. (Dylan)
Here it is, the moment of truth. Do I do what my heart
is telling me? Roll over like a puppy, grovel,
beg for forgiveness? No. You think I'm a geek. No. I think your dad's a geek. Yeah, well, he's not. And I'm not my dad. Mr. Warner,
what are you doing? I'm nuking your MoonPie. Cool. [sighs] What?
What? Nothing. <i> (Bass)
Good morning, everyone.</i> Matt, I-- I just got a phone call
from Hugh Evans' parents. A very unpleasant call. Made me feel
a little tense. Wondered if you could
come down to my office after class. I'd like to share
this tension with you. Yes, sir. Good. Unbelievable. Miserable little bastards. Show any sign of weakness, and they trounce on your nuts
like an African rhino. Here. What's this? My therapist. If it weren't for him,
I'd be in prison. Hey, Matt,
you forgot your MoonPie. Oh, right. Oh! [chuckles] [stifled laughter] Is it done? [laughter] Go ahead, laugh. Laugh all you want.
I don't care. I owe you a MoonPie. [laughs] (Dylan)
After the pajama incident, Mom made sure Dad always had
an extra change of clothes. The oxygen-rich blood
leaves the heart. Uh, no, wait a second,
Mr. Warner. That's not what you said before. <i> You've got it all wrong.</i> It isn't? <i> (Patty)
No, the oxygen-rich blood</i> returns to the heart
via the capillaries surrounding the alveoli
after we inhale. Oh, well, that's probably right. I mean, that's definitely right. I mean, very good, Patty.
That's good. Look, if anyone else has
any idea what I'm talking about, just let me in on it, okay? Hey, Mr. Warner,
your ride's here. [laughter] Excuse me, is this
the room for-- No, no, no, no. Don't tell me.
I already know. The guy
you're looking for, he's across the hall <i> on planet D.</i> That's one small step
for man, one giant pain in the a-- <i> (man)
Somebody help me up?</i> <i> [bell rings]</i> And don't forget,
tomorrow we dissect basketballs, and good luck
to the frog team. <i> Sir, about the Evans boy.</i> <i> I was demonstrating</i> the function of the lungs
in the human body, and he evidently became <i> overly enthusiastic
about the lesson.</i> And he, um,
well, he, you know. Passed out. Well, he hyperventilated. And then he passed out. [clears throat] Matt, I didn't
call you in here <i> to talk about
the Evans boy</i> <i> or the fact
that you pushed over</i> a national space hero. We have
a problem here, Matt. <i> And I'll tell you what.</i> Now, I knew your father
for a long time. And that's probably
the only reason <i> why you're not
on suspension.</i> But if this keeps up,
my loyalty won't stand <i> in the way
of what needs to happen</i> <i> to keep
this school running</i> the way I believe
we all want it to run. I know that, sir,
and I'm sorry. I'm not looking
for an apology, Matt. I want a decision. <i> I want you to decide
whether or not</i> you want to be
an educator. Well, I can answer that
right now, sir. No, no,
I don't think you can. Why don't you take
the weekend? <i> (Matilda)
Principal Bass.</i> Hugh Evans' father is on one. You got NASA holding on two. <i> [Bass sighs]</i> (Dylan)
Things were as low
as they could get. Any thought about winning
Teacher of the Year had completely evaporated. <i> [distant cheering]</i> <i> [applause]</i> Hi, Mr. Warner. Timmy, are you okay? Sure, look at the score. <i> (woman)
Way to go, boys!</i> Unbelievable! Never before have I seen
such an atrocious performance from an athletic franchise. It's brilliant! Hey, Coach. Oh, hey, Warner. Wait a minute, Coach. What are you doing
in the stands? And why is everybody
cheering like this? We're getting killed
out there. I know.
Isn't it great? Mr. D has taught me
to redefine the term "winning." You don't have to win
to be a winner. Winning isn't just "winning." Winning is losing
with a winning attitude, because if you lose
like a winner, then a loss is a victory,
no matter who wins, especially if you lose. Or something like that. (Dylan)
Now, this might seem confusing,
but it's really quite simple. The opposing team scores. We cheer. They steal the ball away. We cheer. Hoo yeah! (Dylan)
We miss a shot. We cheer. Yeah! (Dylan)
Oh, on the off chance we got a basket,
we'd also cheer. Mr. D said it was only fair, and it showed
good sportsmanship. Mr. D is a genius. But I don't understand. Who is coaching? Time! Time out. <i> Come in, guys.
Let's go.</i> Huddle up. Who hasn't gone in yet? A! N! G! [together]
E-L-S. Go, girls! We can't shoot or get a four. Fallbrook, Fallbrook,
hear our cheer. Mr. D for Teacher of the Year. What is the dealio, guys? We're down
by about 30 goals here. That's 30 points,
Coach. 30 goals
and 30 points? Okay, so basically, we have
no chance of winning this game. But is everybody having
a good time? (boys)
Yeah! Everybody trying
their hardest? How much time do we have? (boys)
Not a lot. Get your hands
in here. Who's got the best
war cry in the league? [all yelling] All right! Now get out there,
and lose this game. I need to get home. [together]
Huh! Mr. D for Teacher of the Year! <i> Mr. D for Teacher
of the Year!</i> Whoo! Yeah. We're the worst. (Nelly Furtado)
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge... ♪ (Dylan)
By comparison,
amateur detectives were suddenly elevated
to professional status. ♪ I heard about it
from the mouth of a man. ♪ (Dylan)
I mean, who uses a turn signal
when you're tailing someone? And if you're going to follow
this close, why not just splay yourself
across Mr. D's hood and save the gas money? ♪ And it lies, it lies
in the picket fence call. ♪ ♪ It was my own paradise with
my own private corridor. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ (Dylan)
Even nature was telling my dad
to relax, go home where it's warm and dry. But no. He was on a roll. Blind to what he was seeing,
he pushed forward. <i> (man)
Man, you're a saint.</i> <i> You got anything to eat?</i> Oh, thanks, brother. Love you, man. ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Can I have
your attention, please? ♪ (Dylan)
Oh, right, like my dad was going
to climb a fire escape ladder, the guy who'd get a nosebleed stepping up
onto a bathroom scale? Hey, what you doing there,
Chief? <i> Uh, uh.</i> I lost my key. Oh, so you live here. Yeah, that's right. I--yeah, I live here. Yeah, what number
you live at, punk? I don't think that's
any of your business, actually. Hey, shut
your punk ass up. He axed you
a question. Yo, he axed you what number
you live at, fool. Uh, number 201. I live
at number 201. Wait, 201? Yo, homie. He trying
to rob Mr. D. Uh, which one of you
is Homie? Oh, God.
Oh, God. Yo, get his ass! Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God. Lightning speed. ♪ Trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ Trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, wait a minute. Those are my clothes. You stole my-- I bought those
fair and square. From who? Our nation is founded
on the principle of democracy
and free trade. What do you got? Wait a minute. You're telling me
you want me to trade something
for my own clothes? Assuming you, like myself, have experienced
social financial reversal, it is only proper
we continue to negotiate in the spirit
of capitalism. What do you got? Oh, oh, here, here. What about these? How about that watch? Oh, no, no, no,
that's a family heirloom. You see, my great-grandfather
gave it to my grandfather and--why am I
telling you this? Okay, deal. Wait, that's not even mine. This for that.
Take it or leave it. If Mr. D taught me anything, it's that a fair deal
is a fair deal. Wait, did you say Mr. D? I'll do it.
Come on, deal. ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ (Dylan)
Just when it looked like things
couldn't get any stranger, they did. ♪ ♪ ♪ Hello, you have
my attention. ♪ ♪ Do I have your attention? ♪ ♪ Can I have your attention,
please? ♪ [knocking] Mrs. Warner. I'm Michael D'Angelo. I work with-- My husband. Do you have any idea
where he is? You know, I wouldn't worry
about him too much. He's been following me
since yesterday afternoon. Following you? You know, he's pretty
stressed out right now, and I have something
that might help clear things up. Do you mind if I come in
for a moment? So this is your yearbook. Yeah. Then you must have known
Mr. Warner, Sr. Oh, I didn't just know
Stormin' Norman Warner. I wanted to be him. That's Matt's problem too. Right there. <i> I should get going.</i> Yes, thank you. (Dylan)
Well, at least Dad learned
we were still getting the paper. <i> (Ellie)
Thank you</i> for showing me that. It felt good for me too. Bye, Michael. Bye, Ellie. ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪ ♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪ ♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪ <i> [woman over intercom]
Mrs. Anderson,</i> <i> please pick up line two.</i> <i> Mrs. Anderson,
please pick up line two.</i> <i> Dr. Frank to Oncology.
Dr. Frank to Oncology.</i> <i> (woman)
Okay, Michael, a little pinch.</i> [sighs] Okay, all set. Here's your basin, <i> in case you feel
a little queasy,</i> <i> and I'll be back
to check up on you</i> in a little while. Excuse me. Why don't you wait
right here, and I'll get someone
to help you? Security. (Norman)
"Michael, "not since my own son, Matty,
have I had the privilege "of knowing a young man
so empowered "by the spirit of knowledge
that he invites miracles. Norman Warner." I'm sorry, Ellie. I met Mr. D today. So did I. Hi, Dad. You know, as a scientist, I don't think
that you've been watching me, because if you had been, you probably would have
told me to relax. Well, I understand now, Dad. The shadows are gone. You told me it takes
less than death to kill a man. Well, I don't want
to keep dying, Dad. And I won't. Thanks for listening. Hello, class. Today I want you
to close your textbooks and put away
your pens and papers. 'Cause today is a free period. I want to know what you guys want to do. Anything at all.
Who's got an idea? Patty. Can we sit in
on Mr. D's class? Okay. Come on, everyone. Out of your seats. Let's go.
Come on. Come on. [drum beating, flute playing] ♪ ♪ (Dylan)
The obsession with Mr. D
seemed to vanish almost as fast
as it had appeared. I guess my dad figured
if you can't beat 'em... Do you mind
if we join you? All tribes welcome. Okay, come on, kids. [whispers]
Hi, Dad. Hear me, my chiefs. My heart is weak and sick. Though the flesh may turn
to dust, <i> my soul will stand strong</i> <i> and soar higher
than ever before,</i> like the distant echo
of a beating drum <i> breathing life like the wind,</i> part of all living things. Now... and forever. Now I need volunteers. I'd like a construction worker,
a cowboy, and a biker. [bell rings] <i> (boy)
Wait up!</i> Hello, Ms. Witherspoon. Dylan, just give me
a minute. I want to say something
to Mr. D'Angelo. I mean to Mr. D. And then we'll head out,
kiddo. (Dylan)
Great work, Dad. In front of Chase,
you call me... Kiddo. I kind of like that. You do? Yeah, but I like
"Dylan" better. I've got
cheerleading practice. Maybe I'll see you there. Okay, yeah. I'll be there. Bye. Dad? Yeah, I guess I missed him. I just wanted
to thank him for today. You'll have plenty
of time for that. I think he's going
to be here for a while. Dylan, uh, you know,
even if Mr. D moved on <i> to another school,</i> <i> he'd always be a part
of Fallbrook.</i> Just like Grandpa is. You know, when Mr. D
was telling us his story, it made me think of Gramps. Me too. I mean, Grandpa never
put on a headdress. <i> But he was always telling me
to take my shot,</i> to make
every moment count, to-- Soar. Yeah. I guess I never really
understood what he meant until I met Mr. D. (Untyde)
♪ Whatever makes you shine. ♪ ♪ There's a star in your eyes, ♪ ♪ but it's started
to fade out lately. ♪ ♪ All the things
that you've done ♪ ♪ don't seem to make
much difference, ♪ ♪ don't seem
to make you happy anymore. ♪ ♪ Always searching,
always wanting more. ♪ ♪ Why don't you take it? ♪ ♪ Why don't you make it? ♪ ♪ Don't stand there
looking for excuses. ♪ ♪ 'Cause you won't get them. ♪ ♪ No, you won't get them
from me. ♪ <i> [Howard over P.A.]
For the first time,
I'm almost speechless.</i> I must say, it has been
spectacularly masterminded by our very own Mr. D. What a job he's done with this group
of fledgling ballplayers. <i> (Howard)
Transforming a total
absence of talent</i> into one of the most dynamic
displays of athletic ineptitude I've ever witnessed. (Dylan)
Okay, here we are again, cheering the other team's
baskets... cheering our mistakes. [cheering] (cheerleaders)
Stomp your feet! Pound your chest! Who cares if we lose?
'Cause we're doing our best! (Dylan)
But something was happening. I don't know if it's because
we were just having a good time, but every once in a while, we'd pull off
a pretty good play. [cheers and applause] Way to go, Dylan! <i> [buzzer buzzes]</i> That's my kid.
That's my kid. High five.
A little higher, now. Swing and a miss. [bicycle bell rings] Good morning, class. [children greeting] I have test scores. [children groaning] No, no groaning. You all did extremely well. We did? All of us? Everyone? Yes. Now, when I call your names,
you come up here, and you get your tests. <i> [Bass over P.A.]
Good morning, everyone.</i> <i> This is your principal.</i> <i> I--I'm not really sure
how to--</i> <i> Well, Mr. D is sick,</i> <i> and he's in the hospital.</i> <i> At this point,
we're not really sure</i> <i> if he'll be able
to return to school.</i> <i> We're going to send a card
over to Mr. D</i> <i> as soon as everyone signs it.</i> <i> So please stop by
the trophy case</i> <i> in the main hall at lunch</i> <i> so that we can get this over
to him as soon as possible.</i> <i> I'm sure Mr. D would want
all of you not to worry,</i> <i> and I know he's thinking
about all of you.</i> <i> So let's all think about him
and send our prayers,</i> <i> because he will get them.</i> <i> Your substitute history teacher
will be Miss Hunt.</i> <i> Please give her
a big Fallbrook welcome</i> <i> in Mr. D's absence.</i> Hey, what's this? Who are you? Can you not read? Yeah, and you've
completely spelled the name
of this class wrong. I take it you're familiar
with the principal's office. I'm on my way. [laughter] [rapping] Any other comedians? Okay, class. I--I know we're all feel-- Let me just tell you something
about Mr. D. He's not going
to let any sickness get in his way. You watch and see. You just watch and-- Mr. Warner,
are you okay? I'm good, Patty. Oh, and so are you, with your first A
of the year. Congratulations, Patty. Oh, and, Clyde, you didn't do so bad
yourself. Come on down. Come on, you guys. Let's do this
for Mr. D. (girl)
Oh, I want to sign. <i> (Clyde)
Take your time;
we have plenty of pencils.</i> <i> I want everybody to sign
all around.</i> <i> Say something nice.</i> Good work, Clyde. Thanks, Mr. Warner. [crying] It's going to be okay. He tried to tell me. I heard he has leukemia. I heard he has cancer. Leukemia is cancer,
you idiots. Who's going to coach
the g-g-game tomorrow? What d-d-does it
m-m-matter, Seth? Why don't you
shut up, Brad? Why don't you make me? Why don't I make you? Hey, hey,
what's the problem here? Oh, there's no problem,
Mr. Warner. Hey, you know,
Mr. D wouldn't be very happy if he saw you guys
fighting, you know? Mr. D isn't here. Oh, yes, he is. What are you
talking about, Dad? Well, you don't have to be here
to actually be here. I-I d-don't follow. Guys, look. Every single day, your teachers stand up
in front of your classes, and they give you things. Mostly Cs. No, not just grades.
They give you knowledge. What they've learned, <i> they give to you.</i> <i> And every time
you give something to someone,</i> <i> you give just a little part
of yourself.</i> Which means that all of you have
a little bit of me, of Ms. Davies, of Mr. Parks, and all of you have
a little bit of Mr. D. He's here, guys. You just got to know
where to look for him. I'll see you in science. Hey, Dylan. Your old man's all right. Yeah, he is. See you. (Dylan)
She likes me. She really likes me. Hey, Coach. Can I have a word
with you? Of course. Here's what I'm thinking. Honey, where you going? I'll be back. Well, just remember
if you go out to put your clothes on. Hello, Michael. I seem to be having a lot of
one-way conversations lately. But I figured out why
you're such a great teacher. Because you don't just
teach the students; you teach the teachers too. You know, my dad
used to always talk about the miracles
of education. He was Teacher of the Year
43 times. But you taught me
one or two things that even he couldn't. And I just wanted to thank you
for that, Michael. Mr. D. Hey, Matt? I learned a couple of things
from you too. <i> (Matt)
Ow!</i> [medieval men's choral music] ♪ ♪ So? Who am I? This isn't going to involve
a human sacrifice, is it? I'll give you a hint. I am the father of genetics. Devon? Gregor Mendel? That's right.
That's absolutely right. I am Gregor Mendel,
and I have a big problem. Yeah, your wardrobe. Actually, you know what? That is a problem. But I also have a bigger problem
that I was hoping that my apprentices
could help me out with. I need to conduct
several experiments, and I need to use
a particular plant. Now, which plant
should I use? String beans? Fava beans.
[slurps] Pea plants? And the winner is... pea plants! <i> Very good, Patty.</i> In 1929, the nation's economy
was cut to its knees by what devastating event? Nobody? Nobody knows this? Who has been teaching you
this year? This is history, isn't it? No, Miss Hunt, it isn't. You need to redefine
your terms. That's right. Haven't you ever told a story? The proper term
is his- and herstory. What? His- and herstory. One more word,
and all of you will be telling your stories
to the principal. I'm on my way. Who's coming with me? Plan B. So what Mendel--
I mean what I-- <i> [knocking at door]</i> May we join you? Come on in. Come on, kids.
Right back there. Hey, good afternoon,
Timmy. Good afternoon,
Mr. Warner. Good afternoon,
everybody. Good afternoon,
Matt. MoonPie. Oh.
[chuckles] You must have seen
my shrink. No, but I've seen
a lot. You have a good day. You too. Going to the game,
Warner? Of course; it's our
last game of the season, right? Hey, heads up, Timmy. I owed you one. Thanks, Mr. Warner. Better suit up
for the game. I will. Hey, guys, I don't think Mr. D would like
this pregame attitude. Well, who's going
to tell him? I will. Now, listen, guys. I got a little addition
for your uniforms that I think
you're going to like. Come here.
Come here. I want you to take
these wristbands, put them on. Come on, all of you. Now, look, guys. I know that there's
a big part of this team that isn't here right now. But we know where
to find it, don't we? Now, we owe it to Mr. D
to get out there and have a great time. Now, who's got the best war cry
in basketball? Come on, hands in. One, two, three! [all yelling] I'm almost speechless
for the first time. I mean, <i> we actually could win.</i> (Dylan)
Yup, that's us playing. Rebounding, scoring,
almost winning. [cheering] Time out!
Time out! <i> [whistle blows]</i> Come on, guys.
Come on. (Dylan)
The team had a new confidence. Take it on the chin. It doesn't matter if you win. Play the game for fun. Win or lose, you've won. (Dylan)
And so did I. How you doing? I've been better. Well, if you're going to fall
in front of a crowd this size, at the biggest game
of the year, you've got to make
a louder thunk. Like this. That's the stuff. That really works? I don't know. You're the first girl
I've ever fallen for. [whistle blows] [cheering] Come on, you guys.
We got to do this. Okay, this is good.
This is really good. I mean,
we could win this thing. We could really
win this thing. But, you know, winning
doesn't really matter, <i> because you guys
are so unbelievable.</i> I mean, I'm really proud-- Mr. Warner, take it easy. Oh, right, right, right. <i> (Dylan)
Dad, what's the play?</i> What are we going to do? Okay, okay, here's what
we're going to do. We got
about 30 seconds left. I want you to hang on to
the ball for as long as you can <i> before you shoot, okay?</i> What if we lose
the ball? Seth, what's your strength? Footwork. Fred Astaire defense. Give me your foot. Who's Fred Astaire? How much time
do we have? Enough. Well, then,
you take us home, Matt. Okay. Hey, we're playing a game here. Okay, Seth. It's time to step up. I'm ready. Then you're our man. Come on, guys.
Let's go. [cheering] Fred Astaire defense! [tapping] <i> [When the Saints Come
Marching In]</i> ♪ ♪ <i> (Matt)
Come on; that's your ball!</i> Get it back! (crowd)
Ten, nine... <i> eight, seven, six,</i> <i> five, four, three, two...</i> Take your shot! <i> One!</i> [cheering] Come on! High five! Hey, how about one more bite,
little man, huh? Let me finish up
here, Matty. You got to get going. Oh, okay. See you later,
kiddo. Hey, Dad,
you walking up? Yeah. Got everything? Got everything. Bye, Michael. Love you, honey. Love you too.
Now scram. You want a bite? Ooh. Oh, good boy. All right, junior year. You know what that means. Next year,
this will be a car? Morning, Mr. Warner. Hey, Chase. This is your year, Dad. Hey, it's going to be
a great year. <i> And I'm ready.</i> What do you think? It might be important. What would I do
without my girls? Bye. Bye. (Dylan)
Dad was right. We all had a little bit
of Mr. D in our hearts. Oh, and Ms. Davies had
a little more; she inherited his car. (Matt)
Welcome to life science,
everybody. The first order of business
is the seating chart. We're not having one this year. Now, the mysteries of science
are happening all around us all the time. They're happening inside us
right now. Okay, what I'd like you all
to do is to look at the person
to your left. Now, each one of you is looking
at another human being. They may have red hair.
They may have brown eyes. They may not smell that good. [laughter] But you know what? Each one of you is looking
at a miracle. [rock music] (Dylan)
This might sound silly, but it was like
Gramps had sent Mr. D down to help us all relax,
believe in ourselves, take our shots. ♪ ♪ Captioning by<font color="#00FF00"> CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com</font> (The YoYos)
♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ I'll bring you letters ♪ ♪ from the man
you used to know. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Give in; let go ♪ ♪ to the words
that made you feel ♪ ♪ you weren't alone. ♪ ♪ Now, it's funny
how we find out ♪ ♪ time can solve the mystery, ♪ ♪ but love is only temporary. ♪ ♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ The smile on your face
is just for show. ♪ ♪ Inside, you're screaming,
"Let me go." ♪ ♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ Loneliness doesn't make
a sound ♪ ♪ till I head
back underground. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ I bring you pictures ♪ ♪ from the man
you used to know. ♪ ♪ Give in; let go ♪ ♪ to the images
that made you feel at home. ♪ ♪ Now, it's funny
how we find out ♪ ♪ how age can change a man. ♪ ♪ Confused
but now I understand. ♪ ♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ You're swimming faster
than you know, ♪ ♪ but you can't fight
the undertow. ♪ ♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ Loneliness doesn't make
a sound ♪ ♪ till I head
back underground. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Hello, hello. ♪ ♪ Maybe I'll just say
good-bye. ♪
School of Life (2005) (TV)
Comedy, Drama, Family, Sport [USA:PG, 1 h 51 min]
David Paymer, Ryan Reynolds, John Astin, Andrew Robb
Director: William Dear
IMDb rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 6.5/10 (4,630 votes)
More info at IMDb.
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