Scary Ghost Stories That Don’t Add Up

♪♪ ♪ [harmonica music] ♪ That river water's cold and refreshin'. [sigh] Now that the sun's gone down, I reckon it's a good time for a ghost story. Y'all know any good ones? I do. ♪ [sustained piano note] ♪ It was a<i> dark and spooky night.</i> A woman named Janice was new in the town and she had headed back to her shed to get the harvester for the cabbages. When all of a sudden she came across seven black<i> cats.</i> Oh, this is good. <i>She had caught</i> herself feelin' mighty spooked. So she closed up the doors real tight. But when she turned around, <i>there were six more black cats.</i> <i> [owl hooting]</i> How many cats did she see in all? Wait, what? I'd say 13. Bingo. <i> That wasn't a scary</i> story, that was a math problem. [muttering under breath] All right then. Many years ago an old widower made his way into town, seekin' revenge on his late wife's murderer. Havin' asked around town, <i> he learned that the suspect may be</i> <i> at the marketplace.</i> I like where this is going. <i> When he</i> went to the marketplace, the killer wasn't there. So he bought 32 watermelons, and asked<i> seven ranchers for more informatio.</i> <i> Now say</i> each rancher eats three watermelons, how many ranchers can the widower feed? Why, you're startin' to give me the heebie-jeebies. But is the answer ten with a remainder of two? That it is. That was still a math problem. Oh yeah. Listen here, keep the scary goin' to the end of the story. Oh... Right... Okay. Old Man Willie was known around town as a killer, so it came to no surprise to nobody when he was involved in the death of 13- Nope! Sorry. Sheriff Jensen went a-lookin' for Old Man Willie. <i> It was late.</i> The sun had set. The Sheriff decided to set up camp, when he heard a noise behind him. Like a ghost in the night, there stood Old Man Willie. Oh boy. Sheriff jumped for his rifle, but it was too late. Old Man Willie was too quick on top of him. Willie<i> pinned him down.</i> <i> It was the end of the line for the Sheriff.</i> <i> He leaned down to his ear and whispered,</i> "If a bacteria culture grows at a constant relative growth rate, at 300"- No! You were doing so well. <i> Okay, you cannot use</i> any numbers. Ah! Let f of x equal the squared root of x squared times- <i> I said</i> no numbers! I didn't use any numbers. <i> No</i> math at all! Look, you're tryin' to tell a story with an image. You want to<i> paint a picture in the mind.</i> Oh, okay, yeah. Paintin' it<i> with the mind.</i> <i>All right.</i> <i>Okay.</i> Below is a graph of the function of f. What is the inverse graph of the function? This is! Yeah. Okay! That is it! I will show<i> you how it is done.</i> <i> Not</i> so long ago, in these very woods, there lived an old mountain man. <i> Oh,</i> I've heard this one, yeah. Four apples. <i> No.</i> It's not a math problem. Just listen. There lived an old mountain man, whose wife was murdered by three cowboys just like us. Well, he spent the rest of his life seekin' his revenge and became a master at throwin' hatchets. <i> Well, he used that skill to take down many a cowboy.</i> <i> And it's</i> said that he took his prized hatchet and his thirst for cowboy blood to his grave. ♪ [ominous music] ♪ So if there were three cowboys, and you'd do the square- [scream] No man can survive my hatchet. ♪ [music continues] ♪ When thrown at a distance of 5.6 meters, and<i> a force of 13 kilogram meters per second squared,</i> how many cowboys would I kill if I threw my<i> hatchet</i> <i> at 102 meters...</i> Mercy. Let's say a honeybee were traveling from Detroit at the average speed of eight miles per hour. If a swallow were to- No, try this one. So if you divide every like by each subscription, 12 out of 10 times you're going to find that- This doesn't make any sense. Thanks for watching. Please subscribe. No, that equals a perfect comment. No it doesn't. Do it. Yes. And a share. It's not.

Channel: undefined

Views: 1,378,454

Rating: 4.9545145 out of 5

Keywords: BYUtv, BYU tv, BYUtelevision, Studio C, StudioC, comedy, sketch comedy, funny, lol, laugh, snl, cowboy, cowboy math, cowboys, campfire, campfire stories, ghost stories, ghost story, scary story, scary stories, math, arithmetic, math homework, homework, halloween, scary, ghost, ghosts, camping

Id: CiN5AzMPX80

Length: 4min 53sec (293 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 31 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/NataiX]

Makes me wonder what the hell kind of CoC games people are playing... but an entertaining video nonetheless.