( BAND PLAYING )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, LOOK AT THAT. WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING? IS THERE A PARTY I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT? MY FIRST GUEST IS AN
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE WHOSE NEW
FILM IS "BEATRIZ AT DINNER." >> IT'S NOT EASY TO GET YOUR
SHOT, HUH? TRY HEALING SOMETHING. THAT IS HARD. THAT REQUIRES PATIENCE. IT CAN BREAK SOMETHING IN TWO
SECONDS. BUT IT CAN TAKE FOREVER TO FIX
IT. >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME,
SALMA HAYEK PINAULT! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NICE HAVE YOU ON. >> I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. >> Stephen: I'VE WANTED TO
HAVE YOU ON ANY SHOW I'VE BEEN DOING FOR A LONG TIME. WE MET ONCE BACKSTAGE AT--
>> GLOBAL CITIZEN. >> Stephen: GLOBAL CITIZEN
LAST YEAR, EXACTLY >> AND WE HAD FUN. WE WERE ROCKING THERE. >> Stephen: YOU SEEM LIKE A
VERY FUN PERSON. >> I AM! >> Stephen: AND-- AND YOU'VE
PROVED IT. >> YOU SOUND SO SHOCKED. >> Stephen: IS THIS ON THE RED
CARPET AT KAHN. IS THIS WHERE YOU HAD THE PINK
HAIR? >> YES. >> Stephen: WHY NO MORE PINK
HAIR? >> I CAN TRY IT ON NEXT TIME. I HAVE A WIG. >> Stephen: DID IT FREAK-- YOU
HAVE A DAWRKT RIGHT? >> IT FREAKED EVERYONE OUT. ESPECIALLY MY HUSBAND. MY DAUGHTER WAS LIKE COOL, "CAN
I WEAR IT AFTER YOU." MY HUSBAND WAS LIKE, "ARE YOU
SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? I THINK I EMBARRASSED HIM A
LITTLE BIT. BUT THEN IT WORKED OUT. EVERYBODY WAS-- HE COULDN'T
BELIEVE THAT I ACTUALLY PULLED IT OFF. I DO THAT ALL THE TIME. I SURPRISE HIM. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THIS YEAR THERE WERE A LOT OF LATINO AND
HISPANIC ARTISTS AT CANNES. GUILLERMO TORTORO, GUILLERMO
LUNA, AND YOU. WAS IT NICE TO SEE PEOPLE
REPRESENTING-- >> I WAS SO-- I WAS SO MOVED. WE WENT TO TAKE A PICTURE-- THEY
TOLD ME FAMILY PICTURE. I THOUGHT IT WAS A PICTURE OF ME
AND MY HUSBAND, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I SEE 100 OF THE MOST
AMAZING MINDS OF CINEMA FOR SO MANY DIFFERENT GENERATIONS AND
DIFFERENT COUNTRIES THERE. AND I REALIZED THAT OUT OF THESE
100 PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, AT LEAST 10% WERE
LATINOS. MOST OF THE 10% WERE MEXICANS,
AND THEY WERE MY FRIENDS. AND I FELT SUCH A SENSE OF
PRIDE, AND I WAS SO MOVED THAT I WENT CRAZY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, YOU WENT CRAZY? >> I WENT CRAZY. AND THIS IS AT 3:00 IN THE
AFTERNOON. AND I SAID TO MY HUSBAND--
AGAIN, THIS IS-- THIS IS ANOTHER ONE WHERE HE JUST GOES "DID I
REALLY HEAR WHAT HE JUST SAID--" WE NEED TO A BRING A MARIACHI
TONIGHT. IT'S A BIG GALA, VERY ELEGANT. WE CAN'T WALK IN WITH A
MARIACHI. OH, YES, WE CAN, BABY, I KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS. AND BRING THE TEQUILA AND
MESCAL. >> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE IN
CANNES, WHERE DO YOU FIND A MARIACHI BAND. >> WHERE DO YOU FIND A MARIACHI
IN CANNES? YOU DON'T. YOU PLY THEM IN FROM PARIS. AND HURRY UP BECAUSE THE DINNER
IS VERY SOON! >> Stephen: PAIRKS, OF COURSE. THE HOME OF THE FINEST MARIACHI
BANDS. >> ACTUALLY, BABY, WE'RE
EVERYWHERE. ( APPLAUSE )
, SOME REALLY GOOD TALENT OF MARIACHIS IN PARIS. >> Stephen: YOU SCARE ONE UP
ON THE PHONE AND THEN YOU FLY THEM DOWN. >> NO PLANE IS AVAILABLE. WE HAD TO GO TO MARSEILLES, FIND
A HOTEL, LOOK IN ALL THE BARS FOR ALL THE REMAINS OF THE
TEQUILA IN EVERY SINGLE BAR OF THE PLACE. IT WAS A BIG PRODUCTION. AND FINALLY, MY HUSBAND WAS
LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH. THIS IS CRAZY!"
AND FINALLY, I COME IN, I WAIT FORWARD SOME OF THE BORING
PEOPLE TO GO HOME-- THEY GO HOME EARLIER. >> Stephen: BORING PEOPLE GO
HOME? >> YES. AND THEN THE MARIACHI WALKS IN,
AND IT WAS AMAZING! EVERYBODY WENT CRAZY WITH A
HUGE-- EVERYBODY WAS TRYING TO BE MEXICAN, PRETENDING TO BE
MEXICAN. THEY WERE PRETENDING TO BE
SINGING IN-- KNOW THE SONGS THEY'RE SINGING IN SPANISH. I SAW ONE EUROPEAN, VERY FAMOUS
PERSON GOING OUT ♪ AY-YI-YI
TACO, LACHADA ♪ WHICH I KIKA ♪
>> Stephen: WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF THIS MOMENT-- NOT THAT MOMENT--
GUILLERMO DE TORO. ♪ ♪ ♪
>> BEFORE THEY WERE ALL SITTING DOWN. VERY ELEGANTLY. AND THEN IT TURNED INTO A
CANTINA. THE 16th ANNIVERSARY. >> Stephen: HOW DID THE FRENCH
TAKE IT? >> THEY LOVED IT. THEY WERE SO GREAT. THEY WERE SINGING AND DANCING. >> Stephen: YOUR DAUGHTER,
VALENTIN AWHO IS NINE, DOES SHE TAKE AFTER YOU OR TAKE AFTER
YOUR HUSBAND? YOUR HUSBAND IS A BUSINESSMAN,
RIGHT? >> MY HUSBAND IS A BUSINESSMAN. SHE TAKES AFTER A LITTLE BIT OF
BOTH. SHE GOES TO PLACES -- RIGHT NOW
SHE'S INTO MY HUSBAND'S GENES. SHE'S QUITE AN ENTREPRENEUR. >> Stephen: IS SHE RUNNING A
BUSINESS. >> SHE RUNNING A BUSINESS WITH
HER SLIME -- >> Stephen: WITH HER WHAT? >> SLIME. SHE MAKES SLIME IN MY KITCHEN. SHE'S TAKEN OVER THE KITCHEN. >> Stephen: LIKE THE STUFF THE
KIDS PLAY WITH? >> YES, SHE MAKES THEM AND HAS
ALL THESE DIFFERENT RECIPES AND EXPERIMENTS. I MEAN, IT'S A BIG PRODUCTION. I HAVE, LIKE, A WHOLE CLOSET
FULL OF SLIME. I MEAN, WE ARE SWIMMING IN SLIME
IN MY HOUSE! ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: AND THEN SHE SELLS
IT? IS THERE A BLACK MARKET FOR
SLIME I DON'T KNOW ABOUT? >> WELL, I HOPE-- NOT BECAUSE OF
YOU I'M GOING TO JAIL FOR NOT PAYING TAXES ON THE SLIME WE'RE
SELLING IN THE HOUSE. >> Stephen: I'LL GET YOU A
GOOD LAWYER. I'LL GET YOU A GOOD LAWYER. >> I BANNED HER FROM SELLING IT
IN THE SCHOOL WHICH WAS A TERRIBLE THING, MY HUSBAND, I
TRIED TO GET HIM TO BE ON MY SIDE AND TELL HER NOT IT, AND HE
WAS LIKE, "HOW MUCH ARE YOU SELLING IT FOR? AND HOW MUCH IS THE MATERIAL? YOU'RE SELLING IT FOR TOO
LITTLE. YOU HAVE TO SELL IT FOR MORE." IT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING? SHE'S GETTING ANYBODY WHO COMES
IN THE HOUSE IT'S DELIVERY PERSON, THEY COME TO BRING THE
GROCERY-- "DO YOU WANT SOME SLIME?"
AND SHE'S SELLING AT ANY OPPORTUNITY. TODAY SHE CALLED BECAUSE, YOU
KNOW, MY HUSBAND IS GOING BACK, AND SHE'S LIKE, "YOU HAVE TO TO
GET ME THIS GLUE FROM THE STATES BECAUSE IT'S BETTER AND THIS
THING AND THIS THING. CAN I PLEASE BUY THIS
MATERIALS?" AND I'M LIKE-- AND HE GOES, "AS
LONG AS YOU PAY BACK WITH YOUR REVENUES." SO THEY CONTINUE THIS HORRIFIC
CONVERSATION YOU. >> Stephen: HAVE EXPLAINED TO
HER ABOUT LEMONADE STANDS, RIGHT? >> YEAH, SHE DID THAT WHEN SHE
WAS SIX. SHE'S SHOOEZ GROWING IT'S
BUSINESS IS GROWING. >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU GIVE
HER? WHAT DOES DSHE GET FROM MOM? SHE GOT THE BUSINESS ACUMEN FROM
DAD. WHAT DID YOU PASS DOWN TO YOUR
CHILD? >> SHE'S INCREDIBLY TALENTED. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. I WAS GOING TO SAY, YOU KNOW,
DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE'S INCREDIBLY TALENTED,
UNFORTUNATELY, SHE INHERITED MY STAGE FRIGHT. >> Stephen: YOUR STAGE RIGHT? >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: HOW CAN-- I WAS
>> I WAS TERRIFIED OF ALL YOU BEFORE I CAME OUT. >> Stephen: WHY DO YOU HAVE
STAGE FRIGHT? YOU'RE A BRILLIANT ACTRESS. WHY DO YOU HAVE STAGE FRIGHT
GIDON'T KNOW. THAT'S LIKE A SHRINK QUESTION. >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
YOUR CHILDHOOD, SELMA. WE HAVE TO GO IN A MINUTE. I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THE
MOVIE, "BEATRIZ AT DINNER." THIS WAS DONE BEFORE DONALD
TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT. >> RIGHT. >> Stephen: AND ARE YOU
PLAYING A MEXICAN AMERICAN SORT OF PHYSICAL THERAPIST, LIKE
MASSEUSE AND HEALER? >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: WHO COMES TO A
VERY RICH PERSON'S HOME. >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: AND THE GUY, IF
I'M NOT MISTAKEN, SAY HOTEL MAGNATE WHO HUNTS BIG GAME. >> HE'S A GUEST OF THE HOUSE I
GET STUCK IN THIS DINNER. AND THEY GET STUCK WITH ME. AND, YES, HE-- HE'S THAT KIND OF
A GUY. >> Stephen: IS IT BASED ON
DONALD TRUMP? ( LAUGHTER ). >> IT WAS ORIGINALLY BASED ON
THE GUY-- THE DENTIST THAT KILLED CECIL THE LION. >> Stephen: THE DENTIST FROM
MINNESOTA OR SOMETHING, SHOT CECIL THE LION. >> AND HE DID AN INCORPORATION
OF THIS TYPE OF PERSON, MY GENIUS WRITER. BUT I THINK HIS SIDEKICK OR
SOMETHING, AS THE TIME KEEPS GOING BY, IT JUST KEEPS FEELING
REALLY STRANGE, THIS MOVIE, HOW MANY THINGS YOU SEE IN THE NEWS,
AND IT COULD HAVE BEEN AT THAT DINNER. AND IT'S VERY RELEVANT TO THE
TIMES. SO IT-- IT'S A LOT LIKE DONALD
TRUMP, BUT IT WAS NOT MADE FOR HIM. IT WAS MADE FOR ME. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SELMA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. IT WAS LOVELY TO FINALLY TALK TO
YOU. "BEATRIZ AT DINNER" IS IN
THEATERS THIS FRIDAY. SELMA HAYEK, YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE BACK WITH "THE DAILY
SHOW'S" HASAN MINHAJ.
