ROAST BATTLE NYC | DAN WICKES | REGGIE EDWARDS | DEREK HUMPHREY | DIVYA GUNASEKARAN

[Music] all right hell yeah all right so me and Rohan actually just met today uh so I was a little nervous to roast him cuz when I first saw him I couldn't really tell if he was 7 brown or 911 Brown YH he did for me he is 7-Eleven Brown uh and you know I'm really proud of you Rohan for uh leaving India Coming to America do me a favor for this joke can you I'm so sorry can you push your hair behind your ear for a second yeah uh just cuz back in India those ears made him sacred uh and uh here they make you look like Barack obame all right I'm done I'm sorry all right bu I I just I did just meet her but she did we had a conversation before this she told me she was raised in a loving home in a loving home she was raised by two gay women by two gay mothers but really if you think about it that's just one gay mom and also the lady that makes your mom come that's what it is and you can keep I you can tell you can you can tell yourself whatever you want to make it feel like a family but that's really that's really the situation just one moment the situation fair fair what did you say in there I come from a loving loving family that's l oov oh sorry I forgot this wasn't a spelling Be My Bad uh Rohan Rohan does actually make his Indian parents uh really proud um he's actually number one in the nation at r liting produce serial numbers that's true actually that's true and you know what Laura somehow managed to not be gay managed to not be gay she's not gay but if you notice carefully she does still look like a 2006 Subaru Outback if you can see it does still resemble that I play the part well thank you Rohan uh you know Rohan you have the build of someone who's really good at unlocking the deodorant aisle at walgre [Laughter] [Applause] jackon she informed me jacine she informed me she needs a pacemaker to survive she needs a pacemaker to survive so just like her parents her heart Works in unnatural ways that defy the will of God the same way they are they are going to hell right uh I'm sorry Rowan I've been I've been making fun of your looks a lot but you are you're a cute kid uh which makes you wonder why are you even here shouldn't you be somewhere telling your white hinge date no you're right chicken Tika Masala is spicier than people say it is okay all right okay okay Edward say a moms all right okay all right okay everyone okay somehow somehow Jaclyn Laura Edwards you know she managed to be straight but here's the law here's the in her name she made out with a girl in college one time oh boom bad one last joke okay all right uh me and Rohan we did exchange some information about each other uh before we met and he actually he told me he's a self-proclaimed big acid head uh but he didn't really need to say that uh you don't need to say that when you look like you sell mango Jewel pods to middle schoolers oh oh my God even though you know even though Laura and her mother have some differences they do have some differences but they've managed to find common ground you know because because they they both find that they need a battery operator device to get them going why do you keep calling me Laura oh cuz I don't know your name I forget your name it's jacine that's what it is one more time for these two [Applause] everyone oh my goodness is um was really hard to hear you talk about my child that way I just want to say all right let's start with Dan Wix Dan what you think of this battle yeah awesome yeah great great first battle it was so awesome to see jacine roast her mom but yeah yeah you guys I had a ton of fun watching you guys seriously um I'll get brief I think yeah R you made me laugh L I think jacine hit harder give to Jac all right that's one for Jackson you going to take him yeah Rohan looks like he prepared for coming to America by watching 80s exercise videos know what this outfit is um Jacqueline looks like she wrote all these things about brown people before she ever knew about this battle I feel like she almost said them to me when she saw me I I think you were both great I think it was a great first battle um I I liked some of the cleverness of Rohan a little bit more like I loved um Edward scissor mom's so funny I give it to Rohan all right one for Rohan one for Jacqueline Reggie what's up uh good job Laura I really like your um your jokes um dude you look like a [ __ ] gy teacher man what you got on right here and this your student um I felt like it was kind of hard to understand you outside of a uber but I think you did I give it to Jacqueline all right two for Jacqueline one for Rohan Derek com fre Rohan uh what great battle great first battle both of these guys honestly you know I felt like you hit back real hard like after Afghanistan and um you look like poly Shore but you sound like you were washed ashore um you're very funny dude so you have some great ideas is I'll also say that and then but uh she had the better jokes and those colors don't run America hell yeah giving it to Laura the winner of this battle is Laura and America one more time for these two oh hell yeah how we feeling after that first battle you guys good you guys this the worth coming around the corner for all right amazing guys we got another great battle coming up for you I want you guys to give a very warm welcome to Alex schar and Stant Louie what would you prefer I'll go first all right that's on Alex just like chess I got it uh Stan was born two months premature that was the last time he was early or touched a [ __ ] he didn't have to pay for Alex looks like you tried to draw Jeremy Allen White from memory true true I got to say this how come he gets the [Laughter] chair it's not fair R of parks over here uh God uh Stan used to frequent prostitutes uh they say money can't buy happiness but if those girls weren't broke they wouldn't have to [ __ ] stand uh Alex was in a poly Amorous Amorous relationship but he had to stop when his right left hand got jell of his right oh true good at that stuff um Stan has diabetes which is ironic cuz he looks like a Biz Snickers uh wait there's more w there's more uh he wears a device on his body that shoots insulin into him against doctor's wishes he filled it with Kool-Aid Peter warned you is going to get racist you've been warranted Alex you look like you grew up with teachers telling you to sound it out [Applause] reading ain't easy uh it sucks that Stan has done sorry get it done no no it's all right it's all right it's part of the fun uh it sucks that Stan has diabetes cuz he's already a foot short of being [ __ ] cuz he'll lose another foot with diabetes oh it's a it's a thinker it's a thinker it's a thinker damn Alex you ratac [Applause] Jew there's there's more Alex you R face Jew if you're here who's running the banks it's funny I'm ju but you're the one who has IBS more ju than I am uh all right Stan is one of the few black men where three fifths would be a fair compromise hey guys are well read That's nice happy Passover Alex coincidentally Passover is what your ex did when she wanted to [ __ ] your friends oh my God [Applause] [Music] oh [ __ ] unable unb guys one more time for this battle this was a really fun fight oh my goodness my favorite thing was watching you lean into it as he said you couldn't read he's like that guy can't read he's like yeah it's actually really hard for me all right let's give the mic over to Derek Derek what' you think of this battle oh wow well someone called the ADL um there was a real Massacre going on here listen just to break the fourth wall there's a there's a right and a wrong way to do [Applause] racism and take take it from a pro and you're young keep trying um Stan since you had the only real jokes uh I'm going to give it to you okay that's one for stand Reggie what do you think I think they look like The Dudley boys Deon get the caes about to be WWE in this [ __ ] all over again now I think the black dude won okay two brother stand to bigness saan uh yeah this looks like a forced play date after a special needs class [Applause] uh I I love how Progressive and pro Palestine the crowd is that was just a fully anti-semitic joke killed uh no you guys were really fun but yeah I think Stan definitely had the harder hits all right Stan's got it wrapped up but Dan Wix what do you say yeah this seemed like a very racist anime convention this is like if uh this is like if KKK meant ComicCon oh this had the vibe like Alex was very nervous because he's trying to buy drugs from St and then and then Stan's like no but I can get you hooked on phonic but yeah every we all saw what happened Stan [ __ ] kicked your ass Alex sorry but this battle is stand keep it going for these two oh my goodness we got an electric energy for here are we ready for more yeah that's [ __ ] right keep it going for the next two Battlers coming to Stage Ilia Laxon and Ryan Thomas who's up first I'll go all right that's onia five jokes let's roast all right thank you first of all it's a tremendous honor to be roasting juneth Santa Claus Ryan uh Ryan's actually black even though he looks like he drove here in a halal cart he really puts the light in Black Israelite that's oh this going to feel like a hate crime at the end that that was three jokes in one all my jokes are one joke at a time okay here we go uh Ilia Jewish obviously has never been Bar Mitzvah so technically he's not a man yet which is what he tells the parents after [ __ ] their kids oh my God it sounds nicer in Hebrew um thank you key and no appeal Ryan you look like you kneel during the national anthem and when you're trying to get [Laughter] booked IL Ilia looks like the head of green got sperm bank thank you inso Washington um you look like a college professor who teaches an elective called The Poetry of Hip [Applause] [Applause] Hop oh my God I just fist pound him and he smiled his teeth looked like that guy from Pirates of the Caribbean hello puit that's the [Laughter] roast I mean I think it's going to get a little bit dark here but uh Ryan told me his dad died of pancreatic cancer and I don't know why he told me that CU we're not like friends or anything but it does it's interesting because it does go to show that even when they're lightskinn black guys will find a way to abandon their families no I really wanted you guys to enjoy that one I had a fck of time with it too okay so ILO looks like he slurps card sardin straight from the [Laughter] camp okay um look like as a as a light-skinned black guy you know you run into like people say like are you're not black enough but you can't challenge his credentials he's very he's uh he loves Kanye he currently doesn't have a job and his dad's not around right uh it's weird that you worry about your black features cuz a black feature is the only thing you'll ever [Laughter] [Applause] be I don't know why I'm doing this a feature of someone who's not a headliner in the comedy World which is why they laughed and you guys didn't yeah I play to the judges that's fair yeah play to the judges is this the last one we got one more one more Ilia is Russian yeah russan to the doctor you fat [ __ ] oh we to end one more time for these two everyone oh my God that college professor one really got me you do look like you're out here like the first rapper was Shakespeare all right let's go to Divia Divia what did you think of this fight yeah great battle uh this looks like the previous battle just set in the future 10 years and they just both had more time to write as well um no you guys were were really great um yeah I think the Poetry hip-hop Professor joke was so funny your last joke even though it was so playground insult was so good um but yeah I think Ilia definitely had it last one for Ilia let's go to Reggie what do you say um you lost Ryan and um you let Santa Claus do you dirty but it's all good we going to bounce back from this [Laughter] um uh yeah that's it okay to for IIA Derek what do you think you know this was a real tortoise and hair situation and um and it's weird because it was like a roll reversal in terms of appearance cuz like I I feel like Ryan caught back up with some Goodwill there and you know Ilia when he's not busy trying to defend Woody Allen is normally like a you know solid all the way through I I'm honestly torn on this one but I'm going out to Ryan all right that's one for Ryan two for Ilia Dan Wix what' you think this is wild yeah I feel we found just found out Santa Claus can be black and Santa Claus can be Jewish this is like if there was a buddy cop Christmas movie but yeah I agree with everyone else IIA one Ryan you were super funny but yeah IIA was Stronger but where this battle is Ilia Laxon but keep it going for these two super fun fight guys there are three more battles left and they are with some of the top Roasters in all of New York City some of the best comedians some of the most autistic people you guys are going to love every second of it I can't [ __ ] wait are you guys ready for your next fight you ready for next fight here we go for met fernandas and Arena chelita who's up first uh I'll go first that's on Arena five J let's gr thank you um everyone keep it going for my weed dealer hit me up I um we really need to wrap this up quick cuz meno hasn't seen his father in years but if you run fast enough I think you could still catch him selling churros under the subway I think he's still there yeah uh I know where he is you know what I mean he touched me but um uh me and I me and Arena we had a 20 minute conversation she wanted over the phone I wanted it over FaceTime because fellas I'm a I'm a creep and uh yeah but uh yeah so the conversation was interesting she was like there's three things you definitely cannot say and uh one of them would make her sad the other one would ruin her life and the other one she actually signed NDA for and here we go no I wouldn't do that but I think I do deserve the right to say what a dumb [ __ ] okay that was kind of long um okay uh meno is an uncle a right uh his nephew actually calls him Theo meno like Theo men want to suck J dig [Applause] no want to suck your dick but me do need $5 right I brought it back I brought it back I brought it back and by the way you guys aren't too old I'll have to see some ID to make sure but I'll I'll suck some dick I um here's a short one I asked her if she was like a melal like gen C and she was just like oh I'm genen fluid what a dumb [Laughter] [ __ ] I never said that um thanks elapo meno says his ex-girlfriend became really good friends with his mom after they broke up but I'm assuming that's because there was no one else to talk to in that dark basement uh thank you no laugh though I uh uh disgusting that she's uh yeah I mean honestly Irena is pretty cool she seems cool she's very chill but some she seems like too chill like this's my pressure for her get an STD holy yellow [Music] discharge hope the boyfriend doesn't doesn't care are all your jokes just calling me a [ __ ] like five times that's cool that's creative um I don't think I've called you a [ __ ] yet that's that's later stay tuned all right that's fine because all my jokes are racist um meno is actually the least successful of all his siblings which is crazy cuz there's 35 of them like you're Dominican but you dress like Dominican from Goodwill don't touch me I I don't like that I'm a consent guy clap it up for [Applause] consent I was going to call you dumb [ __ ] but I'll just end that joke with what a dumb [ __ ] who are you his twitch followers like [Laughter] [Applause] what that's cool um like this man tells joke like he's on YouTube um hey meno is your mom a drug mule cuz you look like you're half donkey no no I'm just kidding I like meno's Mom she's really nice I always buy a mango from her when I'm on the highway [Laughter] she's got good mangoes but hit all right is this the last joke yeah all right I got to choose um I mean whatever I uh all right so we did have that 20 minute conversation and here's like the three most interesting about Ira she went to high school with uh Timothy shalamay that's interesting you know not about her but uh uh she's a refugee is that like when I heard that I was like oh [ __ ] that's [ __ ] wild like tell me your story she's like yeah I was three years old what a dumb cont I don't want you're not a refugee you know it's like it's like a black guy talking about slavery you're not your grandpa you know what I mean I'm glad you listen that's it wow give it up for these two major siblings who [ __ ] energy from these two all right what well that's too much for you there's been so much racism and there was dumb [ __ ] like eight times okay we're going to give it to Reggie what do you think of this fight um I think if you took your beard off and put it on her y'all look just theik oh or or if you was to shave your beard you'll look just like her um now I think the roast was pretty good um that didn't get no laughs like that either um but uh I think minow got it okay that's going to be one for meow let's go to [Applause] Derek wow another close one um this was a great battle uh you know uh meno you had like the set but she had the better jokes like I feel like you're just riffing off the top and everything and and listen if you need a hug after the show I'm available I love you yeah um um yeah okay so anyways um I'm G give it to Arena okay one for Bena one for arena Divia what do you say yeah this was this was a super fun battle you guys are you look like you were extras cut from Step Up uh and and that's exactly why arita um the most concerning part of the battle these men clapping for consent like they had something to prove um very [Music] suspicious oh no no you guys were great Mena was very entertaining but yeah I think Arena definitely had the jokes um and the to mano joke was so great um racism's having a big year so I give it to Arena all right two for Mana one for arena Dan Wix or sorry reverse Dan Wix yeah yeah meno was really ripping he was like really being really in the moment funny because he's in this sweet spot of drinking right he's in he's got the amount of alcohol which makes him really funny has not yet hit the amount of alcohol where he gets banned from the venue I see he's working on it yeah I remember that too when I get there yeah I Ira actually has cool Arena was on TV last week yeah give up for her yeah she played a uh yeah yeah she she played like a Russian model for which she hired a coach who was helping her learn to Russian accent so I'd like to think she was like oh well I have you I'm doing this roast next week against the Spanish guy all right not not enough payoff for how long I was yeah all right I read the one okay the one this battle is aren chilita after a long walk from D Mah we just made out yeah I also went to high school at Timothy shalamay let me tell you guys something he wishes he were on this stage right now yeah that [ __ ] has nothing Oscars and Kylie Jenner we have roasted a grow up 34 yeah yeah I gained a few pounds since high school so what who who's thinking about that not me at all anyway we got two more battles for you guys are you ready for your second to last battle keep that energy going come on wake up for Dave Shen and Talon Harris wa who's going first want me go first go Talent five J okay uh Dave looks like his arch nemesis is daylight I feel like he jerks off with [Applause] [Music] sunscreen Talent dad is one of the true ogs of uh comedy and he's also very overweight so that's two ways his son will never be as big as his dad all right settle down uh Dave told me that he's never dated anyone and he has never been interested in dating which is the same thing I would say if I couldn't bag any [ __ ] [Applause] thank you ASAP Rocky relationship with his [Applause] dad Talon actually once had a heart attack on stage and the audience literally thought he had dropped dead that was the only time he's ever gotten a standing ovation his entire comedy and I guess just like him his heart doesn't want to work either you look like a racist Q-tip my [ __ ] oh man that's uh Dave he looks like a racist vampire that would die before he drinks one drop of [ __ ] blood what what you want him to repeat it stop saying what I can say it guys don't worried if you rearrange the letters in Talent Harris that actually spell anal [ __ ] however you have an R left over but he's no stranger to dropping the r at the end Dave looks like a racist vampire that would commit suicide by son just cuz he hates Darkness so much okay I recently Googled what would a cigar look like wearing camouflage and his picture came up last joke you look like a racist Sphinx cat my [ __ ] spin cat spin cat I've never seen a a make A- wish adult before what the [ __ ] I feel like there's more guys there's more I feel like Dave's Mega wish would be to meet David Duke how do people that age even know who that is he's the he's the leader he's the leader of the KKK you thank you Michael B Jordan if the be stood for bottom [ __ ] Talent truly believes that you cannot get a girl pregnant if you scream by Felicia three times before finishing inside [Applause] her wow what a fight keep it going for these two everyone oh my goodness I got to say I love you guys please keep coming back do not disappear into those Reddit forums you're moderating stay right here we need you we need you okay let's go to Dan Wicks what do you think of this battle super fun uh Dave looks like he was hoop got of the playground until Talent showed up um yeah the uh I I think it's really fun that Talent gets hit with more dad jokes than anybody when we all know that he knows his dad like we he knows his dad so much we know his dad but yeah anyway uh the uh I do like that Dave pioneered a new type of joke of Yo Daddy so fat but yeah um super close really hard to pick um I think I'll uh yeah I think I'll go with Talent by a hair but great J all right that's talent by no hair okay Divia what do you say yeah amazing battle between the two of you um talent I can't believe you're wearing a shirt with your own name that's yes this is my dad's merch oh boy oh is that the only way you get to talk to him uh no you're both of you were amazing uh the sunscreen joke off the top was so good I but I oh it was so even but I loved ASAP ASAP Ro Rocky I loved um the the last one the B Felicia joke yeah I think I I just give slight Edge to Dave all right that's one for talent one for Dave regie what do you think yo Talent when in doubt call them racist man that's all you can do you just say you look like a racist Q-tip you look like a racist paper towel just keep calling them racist and it's going to work trust me you going to get the crap um n but I like how sto cold with cancer kept uh I like I like this kind now he kind of look like the character theault character on a video game before you start adding the features before you start adding the muscles and the tattoos and [ __ ] this is a default face they startat you off with n but sto cold got it though that's okay that's two for Dave one for talent Derek hum freeze oh man wow what a great battle so close this does look like the cast of a tuby movie about tuby an AIDS patient dying in and the orderly that's there to attend to him and the special bond they form over their shared trauma uh you know what this one was so close I want to put it to the audience all right we got our first CR vote everyone here's how this going to work you guys are going to clap for one person one person only that's going to be the person you think won this battle after I point to them does that sound good can we follow that okay clap if you think the winner of this battle is Talon [Applause] Harris if you think it's Dave Shen we're going to do it one more time one person one person only Talon Harris Dave all right that's FL Edge to Dave the winner of this battle Dave Shen but what an unbelievably close fight and now we have come to our headlining battle these two coming in the stage everybody settle down everyone settle down all right you guys are going to be able to laugh real soon these guys are rose Champions both of them and they're going to come up here and Duke it out are you guys ready for your last fight keep we go for John Luna and James pontillo all right go for sure okay that's on John five jokes let's [Applause] Ro uh what can be said about James that isn't said about him right when he leaves a room okay um I don't really know James so like uh for these battles you send each other like a bio right and then you learn stuff about the people so I just want to read like the first paragraph of the bio that he sent me no he said uh I was born July 3rd uh in Queens New York my oldest brother is a diabetic with three kids my other brother is sbly uh non-verbal autistic my older sister lives in Michigan is a recovering alcoholic she's in and out of rehab her Rock Bottom was when she got a DUI with her kids in the car that's true my parents are Catholic and they didn't let me watch SpongeBob cuz I thought he was gay true one of my uncles was a heroin addict who died from AIDS for sharing a dirty needle and I am 100% [Applause] Italian that is so [ __ ] up that he's Italian that sucks okay yeah doesn't it suck that your funniest jokes were written by me we're not done yet all right oh you okay all right um oh sorry I me with the battle sorry uh John comes from uh John grew up in Orange County which is ironic as his parents grew up counting oranges oh my God yeah we'll make this quick James needs to get back to waving at kids on the subway [Laughter] mo mo Bueno uh John's uh John's part of the lgbtq community he's the plus oh yeah I am fat but James looks like if Pinocchio ate the whale John is uh oh sorry sorry okay James uh mom died on Valentine's Day um but I'm sure that wasn't the first time someone gohost him on Valentine's Day [Laughter] so muchos graos okay John's uh John's on the keto diet oh no sorry John's on the Taquito diet guys they're having so much fun these days it's a little weird honestly [Music] uh James got really into standup because he was good at telling stories in college it makes sense when you have to tell them over and over to all the school investigators uh John's from La huge fan of the Clippers he actually used them to cut my hedges this week James actually just a half hour yeah yeah yeah it's 50 minutes yeah they are okay 50 minutes yeah they really L uh they really lied on a jail time for rape these days no no no James James isn't a sex offender which I think is good because then all of his neighbors would have to talk to him that would be awful John looks like when he bursts through a wall he yells OC see [Applause] yeah more time I'm not taking James's mic cuz I saw him lick it I think so um all right for the last time let's go to Derk humph what do you say oh man what a great way to end the show huh fellas huh you guys are having fun this was a tough one honestly it was pretty neck and no neck and uh hey we can do it to each other we can do it to each other I represent us it's all about us okay listen um just give a little bit of context to you guys in the audience James pontillo is one of the most respected comics in our business he is known for having the utmost integrity and selflessness and he's a respected peer among all of us so for John to go against him is a real uphill battle and for that alone I'm going to give it to John on this for John what you say um John it look like you do customer support for Amazon okay like a three um James uh I loved you on TV man if y'all don't know he was on several episodes of To Catch a Predator n but with that being said I'mma say James all right John what what do you think yeah this is such a great battle like you can tell that you guys are you've done this a million times you know how to do it um you guys I loved all the awkward moments between you it felt like you guys were at of school dance and you too shy to talk to one another um weird response from you guys on the awe um no you both had amazing jokes uh yeah this was another one that was so close um I kind of want to keep it tied up so I'm gonna give it to John all right two for John one for James all right James so you felt it was very important to correct John that you did not do a half hour you did 5050 minutes were any of you at his 50 minutes no sorry you get no I don't be sorry he it's his fault continuing this line of questioning how many times have you guys been here oh like four six six yeah wow but I but I like you I've seen you before I like you not enough I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry this isn't your fault is not your fault I'm voting for you anyway but yeah so we're tying it up all right we got another tie everybody are we ready to break a tie all right we've H we've had a lot of inside baseball this battle so now we're going outside baseball to you guys you guys are going to break the tie how's that sound good okay clap if you guys think the win of this battle is James pontillo how you guys think the win is John Luna GNA Edge it to John I think you want to do it one more time all right all right one more time CL you guys what you guys have one more joke yeah well the enthusiasm is palpable this all right one more I want to hear one joke one more joke I around all right hey all right since last time we started with John we're going to start with James one more joke let's roast John you fat Mexican what [ __ ] you're also fat James I don't know but but I am not Mexican that's true that's a that's awesome you're tal Tal's worse I think John you fat Mexican you really put the moo in muchacho okay another another fat Mexican pun sick uh James uh said that even if he gets super successful he'll still want to keep his day job which I think it's because uh that's the only way that he'll be able to ever get people to hang out with him during the day all right I love that we gave you one more joke cuz then you guys just fought for real which I love okay clap you guys think the winner James pontillo clap you guys think it's John Luna than to John the winner of this battle is John Luna in a tiebreaker round and ladies and gentlemen that has been our show it's given it up for all the Battlers you've seen tonight keep it going for our judges for The Venue at Grove 34 if you liked what you saw follow us at Rasta Grove 34 when's the next one Dan uh May 8th May 8th

Channel: Roasted

Views: 6,753

Keywords: roast battle, roast battle new york, roast battle nyc, roast battle league, roast battle comedy central, roast jokes, roasting, New York roast battle, best roast battle, roast battles, New York comedy, New York roast battle league, rbl nyc, roast battle league nyc, comedy, funny, funny roast battle, Jeff ross roast battle, dan Wickes show, best roast battles, roast, comedy roast battle, roast battle full show, full roast battle show, full show roast battle, roast battle full

Id: 3p4CpC4RiJQ

Length: 46min 26sec (2786 seconds)

Published: Wed May 01 2024