r/IDontWorkHereLady - She ACCUSED Me of Stealing

[Music] what's up guys welcome to daily dose of Reddit this is your host Zach and today subreddit is/ I don't work your lady this story is called I am not a bouncer and I didn't steal your money hi all I've Had The Misfortune to experience a lot of things in my 30 odd years that redditors may enjoy I'll start with one that made me laugh when my friend reminded me about it last night and can add more if there is some interest been watching a few of these groups for a while and occasionally they remind me of my own experiences I should probably introduce myself I'm a male from the UK late 30s now and I'm quite tall at 6'4 which seems to make me stand out enough that I am either a Target or just the person who catches the eye of lunatics quite a lot here's the cast for this tale there's me hi Phil my my friend who reminded me about this story drunk girls 1 through six a group of drunk girls who made a small mistake but couldn't get past it bouncer a big fella not too bright though manager nice bloke sorts It All Out Here We Go the language is as best as I remember but I had been drinking so exact words are going to be a stretch a few years ago I was hanging around drinking outside a bar in Manchester with my friend Phil my friend smokes but I don't you mostly need to go outside to designated smoking areas to smoke in the UK as I'm stood there talking to my friend admittedly quite near the door to the bar a small group of very drunk girls Gather in front of me I don't really notice for a few moments as I'm talking but after a short while I pick up that there is a little crowd stumbling about in front of me and they are looking a bit AG itated lots of huffing and duting I looked over them briefly and noticed they were all carbon copy blondes with the same haircut not a Caren cut sadly mid-30s similar black outfits very short dresses all quite overweight no judgment just an observation and all drunk like it was their first time out on the town the only thing separating them was the level of fake tan they had gone for it ranged from Orange to a kind of mahogany color I am oblivious as to why they're standing there or who they might think I am at this point but I assume I am in the way a bit so I move to the side away from the door and they start to enter the bar with a few slurred variations of finally and freaking useless it seems obvious now that they thought I was the bouncer or doorman who had to let them in but at the time I just thought I must have been in their way a bit there didn't seem to be a bouncer as it was a quiet night so an easy mistake to make I should also mention it was cold and rainy in Manchester it usually is so I was wearing a big coat it was dark in color but wasn't the usual bouncer uniform of black coat with SI identification on the sleeves siia is security industry authority of memory serves I actually did work door security for a couple of years at student bars and clubs in the past so I know a little bit about this but that was years ago most bouncers tend to be quite big guys as it's a physical job when crap goes down with fighting and such and I'm in that category because of my height and build a few minutes pass and four of the girls stumble out of the bar again and make a beine right for me I wasn't as close to the door anymore but I was still outside with my friend the leader of this Gaggle was massively drunk and had obviously been elected as that night's spokeperson she will be drunk girl one she did most of the speaking or slurring and the rest mostly just said supportive things to back her up and swore you need to come on and save my friends sorry what come on then they're in trouble she grabs my arm which surprised me a bit still oblivious I say who's in trouble I also pull my arm away which seems to annoy her come with me now my friends are be attacked she grabs my arm again you better go sounds important he was laughing as he had figured out the problem already okay confused as I still don't get it but I was just drunk enough to think they might be trying to be funny or pick me up or something finally quick drunk girls two three and four all say yeah hurry she leads me into the bar and up to a sort of Dance Dan floor area where the other two girls are dancing with and kissing two guys I'm still a bit confused why I'm here and now notice that drunk girls 1 through 4 are staring at me expectantly so what am I doing here drunk girl one shouting over the music kick those girl out here they're talking my friends seems like they're okay to me why did you drag me here well our gu not out and these guys AR with us ah we don't even know them okay but why would I need to be involved drunk girl one UPS the drama a bit that Bea you just want freaking watch uh no I don't really care I'm going back outside now I turn to walk out drunk girl one shrieks something swear at me and tries to slap me in the face she misses spins and hits the floor I am walking away and out now and when I turn having taken the few steps to get back to the door drunk girl one is stumbling to her feet and struggling a bit I walk outside and hope that's all the weirdness I'll have tonight I find Phil who is laughing at me having watched the drama from the floor you're not free yet I think you're in trouble now he motions toward the door the four girls have found a real bouncer who must have been inside and are pointing me out looking Furious they come over and they are halfway through their version of the story to the real bouncer that's the what that's the bouncer refused to freaking help us and then knock me over he needs to be freaking sucked this guy pointing to me things suddenly clicking in my head wait bouncer do you think I'm a bouncer yes you of course you ask he doesn't work here yes he does don't even know each other no I don't work here I'm stood here with a pint in my hands why do you think I work here your trust has a boun and you let us in by wearing a dark jacket I didn't let you in I just moved out of your way when you went in you came inside with us to sort out those guys why would you do that if you don't work here you didn't give me much time to think before I knew it you grabbed me and pulled me inside hang on a bit I'm lost look he's the bouncer black jacket security information on his sleeve and he's got the radio and all that look at me I'm just stood here with a beer in my hand scous I don't care what you are you put you you push me to the ground and took my money she starts doubling down a little as I presume she thought this would help her I never touched you I laughed after you pointed out some people kissing and you tried to to slap me missed and fell over what money are you talking about I thought the mention of money was a bit random we paid you to get in they obviously didn't it wasn't even a bar you paid to get in bouncer looks very lost but seems to be getting an idea that he better react soon so you hit her and took the money off her no none of this happened I think this slots are a bit drunk drunk girls one through four all chime in with various yes they freaking hit her andall her purse again another fun little addition right give the purse back what purse I don't have a purse this is all bull crap bouncer speaks into the radio and another bouncer has now shown up he says he's going to look at the cameras and see what's what I'm lucky it was a relatively quiet night as normally I think I'd have just been kicked out of the place just to stop the drama and Save time but as it was slow they decided to investigate the drunk girls have all started getting a bit hysterical now that they have the real bouncers and the story has been embellished to include me taking money off them at the door to let them in which they want back of course the fact I apparently gave this poor girl a bit of a kicking and I was supporting the guys who were trying to assault their friends it takes a few minutes but just as they are whipping themselves up into a frenzy the bar manager comes out and asks me if I'll go inside to speak to him I just want to go home now but as it will get me away from the screeching I agree I instantly regret it as I get shephered into the back of the bar to the little room the security guys use I assume I'm going to get a kicking but the manager gets the second bouncer to show me the two clips on the security screen the first one shows me vaguely moving out of the way when they go in the bar definitely not taking any money and the second shows me inside the bar talking briefly to drunk girl one her going to slap me and tripping herself up we have a little laugh and they say I'm fine I say I'm going to go but they suggest if the woman calls the police it might be better to hang around so it can be sorted out with this evidence apparently it's quite common for people to lose things like purses and try to blame others and pubs I ask what going to do with the group of girls and they say they are going to be asked to leave we go back outside and the girls are still going on about what I apparently did when the manager ask them to leave they go really mad for a few seconds protesting I've looked at the CCTV and this guy didn't do anything you actually tried to hit him I never he freaking s me and stole my freaking P I call the police well feel free but as I said I've got the footage so you will make yourself look a bit silly no I won't I bet you do so time Rob people and share money you've been asked to leave so please go I'm not going until he gives me my purse back I don't have it are you sure you didn't drop it when you fell over I did smirk a bit here which may have been an error you swarmy little Co she launches herself at me but the bouncer with re flexes like a cheetah manages to catch her in midair and holds her there this was no mean feat as she was a pretty large girl she starts kicking and screaming but it doesn't seem to trouble him too much he holds her there for a few seconds as she runs out of steam drunk girls 2 through four slowly seem to realize it isn't going to work and quiet down and seem to sink back a bit to get away as drunk girl one catches her her breath the two girls five and six who had been inside and really hadn't been involved to this point come out of the bar arm inarm with the two guys hi Karen not her real name as of course it was actually Sean tellor something chabby we've bumped into our fellas so we're heading home have a good night oh by the way here's the purse you asked me to hold they hand over the purse which she takes very sheep officially and drunk girls five and six leave with the guys the remaining girls have all but disappeared now and it appears the show is over bouncer releases drunk girl one and again asks them to leave they seem a bit defeated and slink away apart from drunk girl one who is hanging back a bit she turns to me and looks at me for a second I was expecting an apology for the misunderstanding or a final flip you but she actually says to me where we get in next week sorry what do you mean we aren't Bor are we Bouncer and manager look at each other and shake their heads a little not sure why she still thinks I work there seizing an opportunity I say you are I'm afraid your friends can come back anytime though manager deciding it's easier to go with me on this one now yes that's right I'm afraid we can't have people assaulting the staff if you leave now we won't call the police she then joins the rest of her troop and they dejectedly walk away and leave the smoking area in the bar with a bit of muttering bouncer looking a bit confused so hang on do you work here or not no sorry mate just stood in the wrong place at the wrong time I was just taking the piss out of her at the end okay so how come she's barred don't worry about it just get a picture of the video and put her on the Wall of Shame presuming This Is How They track the troublemakers right all sorted talking to me now can I get you a drink for all the trouble better not boss not while I'm working q a rise smile from the manager and a bit of laughter from the few people who had gathered around and had picked up on what was going on sadly everyone didn't stop and clap but it was enough for me Phil and I got a free round of drinks out of it and I still go to that bar every now and then to this day wow that was really long in the end I never could figure out why they wanted the friends boyfriends to be kicked out I presume it was just because a girl's night out is sacred and they didn't like the intrusion but this seems extreme thanks for reading and sorry it didn't end with the police being called and a Karen or a group of Karens all getting carded off to the cells have a great day everyone as I said I've got a few of these if people are Keen I can add some more when I get to time ah that bouncer was really trying there thank goodness they took the time to investigate because if they didn't it could have ended poorly for op here but it worked out in the end so that's all good this story is called woman grabs my girlfriend and I snap so me and my girlfriend were out just trying to enjoy our day so we go to a local bookstore it's a small place and the owners are friends of my girlfriend's family and we help out every now and again so we have a key to get in when they're closed a woman sees us opening the door and asks if we're open I tell her we're just running errands for the owners and that the store isn't open she gets upset at me demanding we let her in saying it's just me you're not going to get sick from one person or some crap like that my girlfriend tries to tell her that we can't let anyone in because then we have to let everybody in and we're not the owners so the woman goes to snatch the key from my girlfriend and grabs her wrist my girlfriend is having a panic attack I should mention my girlfriend has PTSD and anxiety issues so I grab the woman's wrist and pressure point her to get her to let go of my girlfriend and shove her and start berating her using some pretty colorful language she tackles me and I punch her cops are called by some passers by I guess and they come over and tear her off of me and ask what the hell happened woman tries to argue that we assaulted her and that she was just trying to pick up a book for her son we tell him to check the cameras for the store because we know there are cameras watching the door that see almost into the street he proceeds to arrest the woman I get a warning to not be so aggressive next time and my Fosters called I'm 16 now I'm grounded for fighting and can't leave the house for a month that's kind of whack I feel like the parents should be understanding when they're doing it in defense of themselves and their girlfriend anyway that's a cool story um I know you guys in the comments are going to enjoy Karen getting a face full of Knuckles don't forget to like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an [Music] episode

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 2,949

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet, daily dose of memes

Id: TBVA2RUFGkc

Length: 17min 22sec (1042 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 18 2023