- We have some footage of you doing what I believe is the gnarliest kickflip that the world has ever seen. - Is it the one over the fence in the parking lot?
- It is. It is. I mean, how high is that do you figure? 27,000 feet? (audience laughing)
- Nah, probably 14 or 15 maybe. - [Rob] Ladies and gentleman,
take a look at this. (audience exclaiming) - Some kid tried to
jump over that just feet and broke both his ankles. - You're a bad influence. (audience laughing) I'm not gonna try with a board, but I'm just like Ryan. Snap, snap! (audience laughing) All right, well this
next category is called Not Enough Pop. People who just didn't
quite have the lift. You got it. No, you don't!
(audience exclaiming) - That's high. - [Rob] Grown up Charlie Brown's drunk. Go ahead, Charlie. (audience laughing) Fly high! (audience exclaiming) - That stutter step, dude! - [Rob] Look at his little stutter step. - [Ryan] Just that little. - [Steelo] You see right where he missed, that little toe. (audience laughing) - I'm big, I'm red, I can fly! (audience laughing) Pull out your camera, I'ma do it! ♪ I'm a little blader ♪ (audience exclaims) - That's what you get. - It's just what you get. I'm a little kitty. Prison break! (audience exclaims) Okay, now I realize that that was crazy. Last thing you ever wanna do is see a nice nimble
cat fall over a fence, but this next video is
the exact same thing, only like four more thousand pounds. Parkour! (audience exclaiming)
- That's so ridiculous! - [Rob] Okay, I believe this is some sort of an Olympic event. - [Ryan] Oh no. (audience exclaiming)
(audience laughing) - Why leave the fat, uncoordinated guy to be the last one to jump?! Put him right here. Go ahead, big fella. - [Ryan] Oh my, just... - I'm so sorry, I'm
gonna out my chest on you and rub on you. (Chanel laughing)
(audience laughing) Ryan. - Rob. - Do you have stalkers? - Do I have stalkers? I would imagine so, yeah. - Right, now we tried
to build a whole segment around stalking, and it didn't work. - Okay. - The only thing that we could find is animal stalkers. It is beyond creepy. (audience laughing) Hey there, pretty kitty. Mind if I get a taste of
your pretty, pretty fur? (cat screeching)
(audience laughing) Beat it, beat it! You dirty stalker! (audience laughing) You wanna know what? You're gonna wake up in
the middle of the night and he's gonna be in your butt. (audience laughing) - [Woman] Cute little guy. Come on!
- [Cameraman] This is funny. - [Woman] He thinks that this is funny. - [Rob] Does he? - [Woman] This isn't
even a car, he's like-- (woman screams)
(audience laughing) He's gonna come through the window! - [Cameraman] No he's not.
(horn honking) He's got big nuts. (audience laughing) - [Rob] I just wanna
talk, I just wanna talk! Yeah, fine! Go! Go back to that dirty
freeway whore of yours! (audience laughing) - [Chanel] Wait. - Yes, go ahead. - I thought, does it have horns? - [Robs] Tusks. - I thought those were extinct. (audience laughing)
- [Steelo] Oh, yes! - Horns are in fact extinct, however elephant tusks are not. (audience laughing) I think we're thinking about
the wooly mammoth, are we? (audience laughing) Just an elephant, no fur. - Okay, I was so confused. - Ice Age is over. (audience laughing)
- Ice Age is over. - [Rob] Uh-oh. What's on the end of this camera? A dead bird? (audience laughing) - [Steelo] That's some weird (beep) man. - Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - [Steelo] This is so weird. - Oh, whoa, whoa! (Rob screaming)
(audience laughing) That is a true animal stalker. (audience cheering) - What's up, baby! - Take a seat, take a seat right here! - What's up?
- Hi. - How you doing?
- Nice to meet you. - What's up, man. How you doing? - Look, Rob, Rob, look. What's life about in the off season, man? - Couple parties there,
couple parties there. Maybe work out in the hotel room, do a couple pushups at night and then be like, "I just got it in, "let's go back out." (audience chuckling) - See, look, to me
you're still young enough where you don't even gotta work out 'cause they now what you're gonna do, they just gotta throw it near you and you just (grunts). (grunting) - I went out one night before practice and I went to practice like, "Man, I don't think I
can do this anymore." - Doesn't aging suck? It's stupid, man!
- Aging does suck for sure, and now I'm thinking, "Man,
at 26 I'm feeling like this. "What am I gonna feel like when I'm 30?" - You're gonna feel like, "I can't even, "do we gotta play this week?" (audience laughing)
(Chanel laughing) Well, here's the thing, as you get older you're gonna get wiser, but things are gonna make you angry. Just like everybody in this category called the Age of Rage. Take a look. (applause and cheering) - What the (beep) do you give a (beep) for you dumb (beep). Get outta here! (audience laughing) - [Cameraman] Strategically.
- Get the (beep) out now! I'm gonna hit you mother (beep). (audience laughing) - I was voting for Bernie Sanders before the video right here. (audience laughing) But you can't be telling
this is my president, man. - Why are you closed!? Tell us why you're closed! - [Rob] That's the out door.
- Tell us why you're closed! - [Chanel] They're not closed! There's like 100 people inside! - The lady over here is like, "Go around!" (audience laughing) Look at her! - [Rob] Everybody's shopping. - [Steelo] Go around! (audience laughing) - I was the (beep) champ all summer long! Summer Tournament, I'm the (beep) champ. Look, I'm in the Summer Tournament! I'm the (beep) champ! Look what he (beep) does! I got nothing! - Pause it. He deleted his game off his phone. (audience laughing) - You need to fix it or
(beep) pack your (beep) and get the (beep) out. I'm dead serious. - He's kicking him out over Angry Birds! - And his kid's like 12. (audience laughing) You're in 7th grade now! Get the (beep) outta here! (audience laughing) You don't wanna meet
this guy on the freeway. - [Motorist] You got a problem? - Yeah, I got a (beep) problem. (audience exclaiming) - But you would've never guessed though. He got glasses around
his neck with sandals on. (audience laughing) You're gonna be like,
"He wants to talk to me." - [Motorist] You got a problem? - [Steelo] He coming to (beep) you up! (audience laughing) - I've been waiting for the day for someone to come up to
me and just throw a punch so then I can actually
beat the (beep) outta them. And then in the media I'll be like, "Self defense!" - Okay, let me explain something to you. No one is coming up to you. (audience laughing) Nobody is coming up to you like... All right. Now, I've gotta believe
you've been involved in the type of shenanigans where a man has gotten so drunk that he has not woken up and that you've markered him
up or some sort of thing. - Oh man, that was high school days. We weren't drinking back then 'cause it was underage. (everyone laughing) - He was calculating it up. - That was the most classic
thing during high school. My brother did it to one of our teammates and put a big huge penis
going into his mouth. We had practice the next morning and literally, our coach was like, "Yo, what were you guys doing last night?" He was like, "What?" He's like, "You got a big penis "going into your mouth, dawg." - Look, everybody in this category, they coulda ended up
with (beep) in the mouth. (everyone laughing) Everybody in this category coulda ended up with
penises drawn on their face because they were Unwakeable. Take a look. - [Cameraman] Kirk, you hungry? - [Friend] Yeah, I could
totally use some salad. (audience laughing) (Rob blabbering)
(audience laughing) - How do you sleep that hard? - This is when your
soul has left your body. You're so drunk that your
soul's not there anymore. (cameraman blabbering)
(audience laughing) - [Steelo] Is that Pat? - [Rob] I mean, it's Pat, it's like... Austin Powers (audience laughing) Am I smoking? (audience exclaiming) - That's nasty! - Yeah, baby, let's eat cigarette! (Chanel laughing)
(audience laughing) (audience laughing) - [Steelo] Bruh, you can't be that asleep. You can't be that asleep. - Man, you just are, man. Just looks like a (beep)
Star Wars character, man. (audience laughing) (band playing loud music) - [Steelo] No! You can't be this asleep! - He's asleep. Or he's dead. (everyone laughing) This is... I don't even know how. - [Chanel] Oh my God!
(audience exclaiming) - How do you manage to get a cow to (beep) on a man while he's sleeping?! - He did it on purpose too, the cow did. - [Rob] Yeah he did! - That's so... - [Rob] Amish alarm clock. - [Chanel] Oh!
(audience exclaiming) (applause) - This could be one of you! This could be one of you,
he's from Thousand Oaks just right around the corner. - [Christian] That's right. - MVP this year, man, what's it feel like? How amazing? - Been a lotta fun, all good things and I get to hang out with you. - Look, I mean, shoot, look. (applause) You've gotta win an MVP
to hit this stage, okay? (audience chuckling) You're an amazing because you are gifted. This first category is dedicated to those that literally have no gift and no business playing baseball. We call it Least Valuable Players. Take a look.
(applause and cheering) (upbeat music) Here we go, here we go,
here we go, here we go. (audience exclaiming) - [Steelo] Oh, he hit his nuts! - Does this happen? - Yeah, you get a lot closer to doing that than you think actually. - It seems impossible. Seems like you have to be a
specifically (beep) hitter to hit yourself in the nuts. - It's a talent. - [Steelo] Okay. You didn't bring your uniform? - [Rob] She's got it. - Oh, man. Why does she run like that? (audience laughing) Why does she run like that?! - She seems kinda athletic,
the way she swings, but then we she gets to cooking, like... - Look at her swing! She ran like Forrest Gump in the beginning then these words just come on. (audience laughing) They should just stop this league. Whatever league this is, just stop. - I'ma go back to Instagram. (audience laughing) Here we go, here we go, here we go. Big Daryl, Big Daryl. (audience exclaiming) - [Steelo] But he had it though. - He was trying to show off! Look! You can't tell me that's working! He just broke both legs! - You don't need all that to
catch Kevin James, though. You good. - We're good, we're good, we're good. Got 'em, got 'em. (audience exclaiming) - I've seen that happen
a couple times too. - Man, and look, nobody in the bridge bar. Go back. (audience laughing) Not a single (beep)
person's in the bar tonight. - [Steelo] Oh!
(audience laughing) - [Rob] Here we go,
here we go, here we go. (audience laughing) - [Steelo] That happens
all the time, though. That happens all the time. - I don't believe this ever happened to your Golden Glove winner. This doesn't happen to you? - No, it happens. Right before it gets dark,
the twilight and the lights, as soon as it gets above
the stadium, disappears. It's the worst feeling. You're out there all by yourself. - He bailed off. His head was more important
than looking good. (audience laughing) Got it, got it, got it, got it, I'm out, guys, I'm out. - You gotta fake it though. - There you have it for
Least Valuable Players. (applause) Okay. When a ball is hit to you, is it by any means necessary
you're gonna catch that ball? - Yeah, most of the time. Sometimes there's some extra
excitement to go after it, somebody's robbed you before and they're hitting and
you wanna go get 'em back. - Okay, okay. - Definitely run into
a few walls in my day trying to rob somebody
who robbed me before. - Let's take a look at this
sort of incident right here. - That one! That's the exact one!
(everyone laughing) - Look, like, this is-- - That hurt really bad. (everyone laughing) - Did you know you were
getting close to the wall or you're like (beep) it. - I jumped and didn't quite make it and landed right before and just launched myself right into it. (everyone laughing) - [Rob] Now did you catch that one? - Yeah.
- You did, okay. That's all that matters.
- It rolled up, and then actually hitting the wall hit it off my chest and back into it. - See, look, thank you, wall. - Thank you, wall. - Look, that wall got ahold of you and did a piece on you just
like everybody in this category, Wall Mauled. Take a look.
(applause) (upbeat music) Oh no.
- [Steelo] Okay. - Be better than this, parents! (audience laughing) I mean, there's gotta be
better design than this. They don't expect little
babies to be that strong. Uh-oh, okay. (audience exclaiming) - What were hoping to do?
- Why didn't you put padding on the wall? They have pads.
- I just think he thought he was gonna land on his feet. (audience laughing) Okay, Mary Poppins. Here we go! (audience laughing) Like, where are we at? What (beep) world are we in?! What is this?! People drive with an umbrella,
what's happening right now? Go, go, go, go! (audience laughing) - [Steelo] He was committed, bruh. - Why is he kicking so high up right here? - 'Cause he's losing control right here. - Man, he really lost control by trying to get his
chest out for the victory. Yup, he's knocked out. Here we go, here we go,
here we go, here we go. Here we go! (audience exclaiming)
(audience laughing) - Bruh, never thought the wall was there? - This (beep) dude grabs his head mid-air. (everyone laughing) He (beep) grabs his head like
four feet off the ground! (applause) Tell me what it's like
to be a pro wrestler. I know how difficult it is, I've tried it a little bit, but I did it for, like... (audience laughing) I made a hot run. I wrestled with the
late great Roddy Piper. (applause) I came off a skateboard
ramp, off the ropes and body slammed and I
hurt for like two weeks. - Basically. - How often are you guys feeling the pain? - Hard to say, man. It do hurt, but man,
I ain't been hurt yet. I haven't had no major injuries yet. - You wanna knock on this, man? Knock on that wood. - Do both of 'em, dude. - I would say more like
he's probably invincible or he doesn't even know
what pain feels like. Just like everybody in this
first category Pain Don't Hurt. Take a look. (applause)
(upbeat music) Oh boy. Doesn't look safe. - Oh my God. (guy giggles) That's how you know you're in real pain. - You just laugh. - Yeah, he's trying to laugh it off. (audience exclaiming) - [Jimmy] And the laugh ain't even cool. - It cupped his whole
neck right here, bruh! Look at this! (Chanel exclaiming) There's no way you're not in pain! At the (beep) water park with no water. (everyone laughing) - [Rob] Let it rip! (audience exclaiming) - [Naomi] He good though. - [Rob] He's good. - I'm fine.
- "I'm fine. "I'm fine." - You can't get hurt with
love handles like that though. That look comfy as hell. (Chanel laughing)
(audience laughing) - [Rob] You've gotta know you
ain't got the arm strength through your own body weight. Makes sense. Let's get a roof and go for it. Yeah! - [Naomi] Why? Why? - Wooh! (audience laughing) - It's just a tailbone
and goths hate tailbones. (audience laughing) - It hurts a little bit, but it's like, rub some dirt in it and it's like fine. - "Rub some dirt in it." - Some dirt, does she want a tattoo? - It works! - I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt. (everyone laughing) - [Rob] This is what you guys inspired. (audience exclaiming) - That was the (beep) shot we needed! Yeah! (everyone laughing) - I was just in a ladder match. - [Rob] What happens in a ladder match? - Anything goes, everything goes. I shoulda used that move. I'm mad I didn't think of that. (Chanel laughing) - I'm glad you didn't use that damn move! - I don't think this is a move, I think this is a mistake. - [Steelo] Definitely a mistake. - That was the (beep) shot we needed! - There you go! (everyone laughing) There you have it for Pain Don't Hurt! (applause) So tell us how you guys met
each other and fell in love. Two different stories. - No, it's the same story, it's just really really embarrassing. We met at the school where we trained at the first time she walked in. So my dad wrestles, I heard
she was a fan of my dad and I walk up, I was like, "Yo,
you ever heard of Rikishi?" She's like, "Yeah." That was my dad's name at the time. I was like, "Man, I can't stand that dude. "He's one of the worst
wrestlers, that dude sucks!" But she kinda just looked at me and then just walked off. After practice, I walked up to her I said, "Yo man, I was just
trying to do small talk. "That's my dad, I heard
you was a fan of his "so I'm here, I just
wanna introduce myself." She's like, "Well, you
shoulda just said that (beep) "instead of saying all
that stupid (beep)." (Chanel laughing) - I'm already nervous,
I'm new, I'm scared, I don't know anyone. How about, "Hi, nice to meet you" or, "My name is..." He just came over talking
(beep) and I'm like, "What's your problem?" - I didn't know! I was nervous too! - But it doesn't matter how it starts, it's what it turned into. You know what I mean? Incredible, beautiful love. This next category is filled with people that are gonna lie to their kids on how they met, but in fact this is How We Really Met. Take a look. (applause) So basically she had a
boyfriend at the time. (audience laughing) - Look at him though! Look at him! (audience laughing) - She's keeping her options open! - [Steelo] All respect to her. - Savage. - [Steelo] In a urinal. - And I'm a (beep) doctor,
can you believe it? - No! - [Rob] A doctor of what? - [Man] Can you check
my heart rate, doctor? (audience exclaiming) - And I asked you, I said, "Hey, Doc, "would you like to check my heart rate?" and the rest is history. - Such a perv. - I'm still trying to get over, there was no wipe down, no clean off. She let it drip dry? - I feel like she was like, "I'm in a bathing suit, it'll soak it up." (everyone laughing) - Somebody's been there. - What?! I've never done that! (everyone laughing) Never done that, uh-uh! (upbeat music) - [Rob] Trying to enjoy ourselves. What's up with you, though? What's up with you? - He is so hurt, man! - [Rob] He is. - [Steelo] They had a
love before this moment. - She saw a face and she was like, "I'm gonna suck on that." (audience laughing) - [Steelo] He don't want her though. - I judged her. I was judging. - [Naomi] This already look wrong. - [Rob] We were just
shopping and I just said, "Hey, let me dig in here." - [Steelo] Oh my God! (audience exclaiming) - [Naomi] What?! - He's a (beep) ventriloquist! (everyone laughing) He's talking to the dude through her ass! (everyone laughing) - "So yeah, anyway, I've
got a boyfriend actually." (everyone laughing) - [Steelo] He's controlling her mouth. (Chanel laughing) - We know you're passionate about the one-handed catch, okay? Is there anything more thrilling than the one-handed catch in a game? - The one-handed catch
honestly just is unconscious. Sometimes it just happens,
and when it happens it's more of a show for the fans than it is for me. I've already done it. (audience laughing) - You're a gifted one-handed catcher. Everybody in this category
One-Handed Wonders. Take a look. (applause)
(upbeat music) Coming at it, you got a baby and a beer. I got a baby, oh! (audience exclaiming) - He know that (beep) was
about to get hit to him. (applause) - That was sick! - "Beer's on me, boys." Send it, send it! Got it. Man.
- And she was leaning back. - [Rob] Man, she got lucky. - She was almost out of bounds. (everyone laughing) - Yeah, and out of bounds is like two storeys to the concrete. (audience laughing) Kita! - [Steelo] Man, he caught that with three fingers, didn't he? - With two fingers. - Man, he got a sky hook. The eagle claw. Daryl and his eagle claw. - [Steelo] That was nice though. - [Woman] Jamie. Catch.
- [Rob] Catch. I catch everything. (audience exclaiming) - He called her bluff. - [Steelo] This is a real TV show, right? - [Rob] Oh boy. Not that one. Got it! (audience exclaiming) - I don't know about if I care enough for them to be (beep)
pumping it up like this. "Stand the (beep) up, y'all! "We do this (beep)."
- "I didn't blade that man "and that man didn't blade me!" There you have it for One-Handed Wonders. (applause) Okay. Would you prefer to break a tackle or break an ankle? - Ankle, I don't wanna get touched. Don't touch me. - I remember, maybe it was
a Texans game or something a couple years back. It was like, I wanna say you
put 10 people on the ground. - And to score on it
too, from 60, 50 yards. It was good. - Okay, look, we've decided... (applause) To dedicate a category to breaking ankles. Take a look at Juke 'em All. (applause and cheering)
(upbeat music) Hello, hello. Oh! - I saw that one, though. I saw that one! He dragged his ass, boy. That man went so far. Oh, that man lost his life! He tried to grab on to his screen! Hit teammate couldn't believe it. Look at the black dude on the team! "He dropped that (beep)!" (everyone laughing) "Goddamn!" - Oh my God! Man, everybody's in shock. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Whoa! - That spin move was nasty! Put his ass in the vortex. (everyone laughing) - He kicked his little back legs up and pivoted on his front legs. Look at this. Man, straight to his bed,
that's like a touchdown. (everyone laughing) Cops are one me. Only one thing for me to do. Do a little thing called the skrrr skrrr! - [Woman Recording] Oh my God! - That's nice, though! He ain't catching him! - That was super nice! - He ain't catching him! - If that motorcycle
cop woulda kept going, would've been like, "Damn, good for you. "You tricked me." But you're in jail now." (everyone laughing) Our guest today, a
billionaire entrepreneur, star of ABC's Shark Tank, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, he needs no introduction. Welcome, Mark Cuban! (applause and cheering) Welcome! Man. We got Chanel dressed
all in business like. You about ready to pitch
Mark a business right now. - No! - I know you got a business in your head. Hit him with something right now. - I mean I have a ton, but I'll talk to you about that after. - Okay, well look, let's wind down to my absolute favorite show that there is and that's Shark Tank, right? - What! Appreciate that. (applause) - Even as someone that has
done business his entire life, I still feel like I've learned so much from watching the show over the years, but it's also driving people to come up with some really bad ideas. - You think? - Oh yeah! What's the worst thing
you've seen on Shark Tank? - Oh (beep). So this one dude comes out and he brings out these two girls and they've got these little paste-on little lights on their butt and they're shaking their taillights and I'm like, "For real?" - "My man. "Here's your offer." (everyone laughing) - I go to one of the girls that came out, I'm like, "Would you wear that on a date?" And the whole face just dropped. She looked up, she goes,
"I'm sorry, Uncle Johnny." (everyone laughing) - Uncle Johnny's got poor little Rachel just out poppin' it. (everyone laughing) Okay, well our first category is dedicated to some wild contraptions. We call it Mark Tank. Take a look. (applause)
(upbeat music) I don't wanna smoke
anymore, but I'm addic-- Okay. (everyone laughing) I don't wanna, okay. (everyone laughing) It legitimately works! - It does work, but you
can't wear this to the club. (everyone laughing) - [Man] I think I need a bear. - [Mark] What is that?! - [Rob] Now go get me a job. (everyone laughing) The future is now, man. - Boom, boom, boom! - [Cameraman] Condom slinky. - [Steelo] Condom slinky. - [Rob] It's a condom slinky. - [Mark] This is not gonna end well. - [Rob] Okay, all right. Is this how babies are made? (audience laughing) - [Cameraman] That was (beep) perfect! (everyone laughing) - I just hate that it actually looks like a real cock and balls. (everyone laughing) - [Mark] It does! - [Steelo] There we go! There we go, I found it! - [Cameraman] That was (beep) perfect! - That was perfect! - [Steelo] This is amazing. This is amazing. - [Rob] It's a Schwindeer. - You can work out at the
same time, this is amazing. I love this.
- They don't have anything like that yet? - [Rob] Okay, this seems
like a pretty good invention. Obviously we know feeding babies is a lotta work. (audience exclaiming) (everyone laughing) - That was the best. - That's the product. (applause) - The baby puncher. That's why you test your products. (everyone laughing) - It just drops it. It just drops it for good measure. (everyone laughing) (applause) - Kurt, talk about the NASCAR fans compared to all other sports fans. - Oh my, we have the most fanatical fans. I mean, body paint, their favorite driver, they will drive endless
hours to get to the race and then they don't stop
partying when they get there. - They don't. You party yourself through qualifiers, through
whatever the early race is. 'Cause how long is a whole race weekend? Three or four days? - Yeah, three, four days and
they take a nap during the race 'cause they've partied so hard already. (audience laughing) - Do they have a specific name? - Our fans? Nah, no real specific name. - I think we've come up with a name that might make a little bit of sense. We call it Trackheads. Take a look. - I like that. (applause)
(upbeat music) - [Rob] Okay. - [Steelo] He got a fanny
pack and a gun holster, bro. (audience laughing) - That's right, he's ready. - You don't know what he's ready for. - I mean, I gotta believe
this is for my valuables, my wallet and my tickets and this is for beer. (everyone laughing) - [Cameraman] Wheelbarrow racing. - [Rob] Okay, all right, okay. I tell you what... (audience exclaiming) Man! Could you flick somebody off and they would see it while you drive? - Oh, it happens all the time. - Ain't that something.
- You better run like hell when you do it. (audience laughing) (upbeat music) (everyone laughing) - [Chanel] What are they doing? - See, that's why you gotta go to the race so you can feel it. - [Steelo] He feels it. (everyone laughing) - [Rob] That's really
what it feels like though! He's having the most
relaxing weekend ever. - [Kurt] Everybody be jelly of him. - "I invented the
Hoveround, mother (beep). "They stole that (beep) from me!" (everyone laughing)
- No, no, no. "I didn't invent the Hoveround, "but I certainly improved it." (audience laughing) Okay, all right, okay. Oh no. - But nobody reacts. This is some normals
NASCAR (beep) right here. (audience laughing) No one tries to break it up! Everybody's like, "Yup. "They'll settle this." (audience laughing) - "Hey, go back." What are they doing? - They've got the scanner on, they're listening to the drivers. - Yeah?
- You listen into the teams, yeah. But this guy's not
listening into the teams. (audience laughing) - So you're trying to tell me that everything you say, people have an opportunity to listen to? - Yes, oh yeah. Every cuss word, every
team communication, yes. It's all open.
- [Steelo] That's dope. - Wow. - And I haven't figured out
how to get paid from it yet. (audience laughing) - [Rob] Okay. Look at this. All right, now-- - Why'd he do that? - I gotta believe, there's gotta
be a way to arrest this guy so this does not happen. - It's technically alcohol abuse. - It technically is.
(everyone laughing) And look, you wanna know
who's not happy about it? His woman. Go ahead.
(audience laughing) - [Chanel] She's so embarrassed
to be with him after that. - [Steelo] "That was my beer! - "You're gonna waste a beer "on number 48, you dumb mother (beep)?" (everyone laughing) We'll be right back with
more Ridiculousness. ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ - [Cameraman] Damn, you see that?! (upbeat music) (applause and cheering) - Welcome back to Ridiculousness, give it up for our guest, Kurt Busch! - Thank you. - Okay. NASCAR racing, is there anything worse than getting loose? - Man, when you're getting loose, you're about ready to wreck, but if you keep it right on
that edge, loose is fast. Loose is fast. - When you're riding
tight, what does that mean? - You're scrubbing speed and the car won't quite turn. - Okay, so when you're
getting loose that back end... - Little fishtail, yeah. - And then what happens when it lets go? What do you call that? - "Oh (beep)." (everyone laughing) - An entire category of "Oh
(beep)" called Getting Loose. Take a look. (applause) (upbeat music) Okay, all right, okay. - Bruh! "There's trucks in sight, here I come." - What was that fence made out of, paper? - [Rob] Watch that back tire, Billy. Watch that back tire, Billy! Oh, it's gone. (audience exclaims) - That's best case. Best case scenario. Best case scenario,
you rolled that (beep). - They must teach that in stunt school. He just rides it out. (audience laughing) Right off the side of the road, he's fine. - Scale of one to 10, that's a 10. - That's a 10, man. Call him an Uber and he's heading home. (everyone laughing) (upbeat music) Oh, man! Innocent bystander. (everyone laughing) Man, he just trying to live and this '86 Camaro sends you into a tree. (everyone laughing) (audience exclaiming) - He came in so fast! - He came in so hot, and
then got all of them. - Never stand on the outside
of the track like that. You gotta be on the inside
where the camera guy is. - At least they were on a, what seems to be a pile of rocks. (everyone laughing) (horn honking) - [Steelo] It ain't that serious. - Here we go, getting loose. Pull it back, pull it back! (everyone cheering) Pro-Bowl Defensive End,
built for smashing people. - For sure, for sure. - Have you ever hit someone
so hard you felt bad? - Yeah. (audience laughing) - It was right away, "Yeah. "All the time." - I thought for sure
you'd be like, "Never." (audience laughing) You out there playing with it, you're gonna get hit by it. - Yeah, for sure. - Okay, look, this category is dedicated to football players getting smashed. We call it Bone Crushers. Take a look. (applause and cheering)
(upbeat music) Coming across, coming across! No block! You ever pop a man's helmet off his head? - Yeah.
- 100%. (audience laughing) You don't make it to his
level without popping helmets. - I'm not a football expert, but 23 ain't blocking. (everyone laughing) 23 says, "I'm scared!" That's like me trying to block him. Like, "Go ahead."
(everyone laughing) Here we go, here we go. (audience exclaiming) - That's a great form tackle right there. - Is this legal? Are you allowed to body slam a guy? - Nah, you can't drive him
into the ground no more. Football gettin' soft, bro. (everyone laughing) - [Rob] Here we go, clean. (everyone exclaims) - [Steelo] That's this quarterback, he set him up. - You're just like... - That's when you can intercept the ball but you don't even do it, you just try to take his
soul out of his body. (audience laughing) - There you have it for Bone Crushers! (applause and cheering) Okay. I've heard your motto for
defense is pretty simple. Can't score, can't win. - Yeah, my dad used to
tell me that too like, "You can't score, you can't win." (audience chuckles)
- Okay, yeah, yeah. Look, it is so true and it's
the simplest philosophy ever. All you gotta do is
prevent someone from doing the only thing that can beat you and that's scoring. Take a look at Can't Score, Can't Win. (applause and cheering)
(upbeat music) Here we go. - He slammed it though! - He did, yeah. - "Y'all quit playing with me, man." - Stop playing with me. I'ma tell you who I'm not marrying. (audience laughing) - [Chanel] He said, "Hell nah!" - Look how serious he is though! He was serious! - She is so mad. (everyone laughing) - Rumor has it that
you've got the meanest arm in all of pro football. - Yes, sir. - That you can throw a football further than anybody else in
the National Football League. - Yes, sir. - How come they can't use this? How come it can't be
like game on the line, three seconds left on the one yard line and they bring in, they
let Melvin march in there and just... - It'd be rough, man. They'd have to pay me more. (everyone laughing)
You know how that go. You know how that go, man. - How could you even
define the amount of money you'd have to pay me to use this? Okay, look, everybody in
this category right here got the same strength. We call 'em Cannon Arms. Take a look. (applause and cheering)
(upbeat music) Whoa, accuracy! (everyone exclaiming) - That's his fault though! He missed the pass! Yeah, he dropped it. - Ah man, then he got caught
by the safety coming across. Incomplete. (audience laughing) - It just wasn't his day. - [Rob] Here we go. I could run it out, but you know the arm! Freedom! (audience clapping) - That was a good shot! - [Rob] Show 'em your powers. And your accuracy at distance. What's up, Jeff. (everyone laughing) - That was the most dramatic fall though. The most dramatic fall. He started falling before he even got hit. - Might as well have been
a full 12 gauge shotgun. Okay, here we go. (audience exclaiming)
(Chanel laughing) Where are we going,
where are we coming from? - It didn't even seem that hard of a hit. - I love she gets to choose if it hurts. You ain't got no (beep)! (everyone laughing) - It looked like a very
light, like bounce. - It don't matter! (everyone laughing) - There you have it for Cannon Arms! (applause and cheering) Speaking of your versatility, the Chargers last year gave you a chance to run in a touchdown. - Yes, sir. - And the refs robbed you. - Yeah, they for sure did. - Now when are they gonna
give you another chance to get back out there? But I have a feeling they're not because they're gonna
have to pay you more. - For sure. You know that. (everyone laughing) - Your celebration should be
you signing a new contract. - Let me get lit. - The thing about being a running back, you don't know you're really
good at it 'til you're given the chance, right?
- Exactly. - Everybody right here, they're
getting chased by security and cops so they found out
really they're Street Backs. Take a look. (applause and cheering)
(upbeat music) - Outta there. Get up outta there. He tried to tase him! He tried to tase him. - He fell into a weird breakdancing move. (everyone laughing) - The move actually helped him though. - It did, man, it spun him
right back to his feet. He should have commanded this vehicle. "I command this vehicle! "Race me after this man!" Somebody's gotta get him. - He high stepping and all. (upbeat music) Other one's just walking. Ain't got time for this (beep). - First of all, ladies and gentleman, this is the first time we've had a pro football player on the stage so give it up for this guy! (applause and cheering) - Rob, he know what to
say to get you hyped. - We're breaking ground today! LeSean, where do you live
at on the off season? - I live in Philly. Well, I did live in Philly. I have a couple spots in
Florida, so I hang out in Miami. I'm actually training in Miami right now. - Okay, so let me ask you this. When you were young, was it just natural, you could just avoid everybody
and run over anybody? - Yeah, man, I think it started out just I didn't wanna get hit. I mean. - Did you have people that
you knew growing up with that you knew that were super elusive but just ever could
make a career out of it? - I mean, you got tons of guys like that. Super stars, growing up in high school, they never got a chance to really make it. - Here's the thing with those guys, there's so much talent in the streets because when they were young, they were just killing peewee football, they got into junior high,
nobody could get 'em. And they're 15 years old
and they just stop playing, but here's the thing, they
still got the moves, right? But they just use 'em in the streets. That's exactly what happens
in our first category that we call the Real McCoys. I got a gift, but I got nowhere to use it. (upbeat music) NFL Draft starts right now! Yeah, I played a little bit. - [LeSean] That's one missed tackle. That's two missed tackles. - [Rob] Oh God, oh God. Okay, okay, you got me. Oh, you got me. (audience exclaiming) - Man, he fast as hell. - He could've been there,
you know what I mean? Instead he's stealing cars. (audience laughing) Aw man, you coulda been
in the League, man! Nothing gonna stop you! You ever use your skills
to run through glass? - Not like that! - [Rob] I'm late for prom! I'm gon' lose my virginity! (audience laughing) Oh, man. - Where was he gon' go? Why would you go that way? What was he gon' do? - Man, he just, he got lit up. - Put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest! - [Rob] Sir, tell you what. I'm out, I'm out! - Come on, cop! You can't do this, dude! - [Rob] You can't do this, dude. - You can't do this. - [Rob] Quit making me do cardio! - You're gonna get tased. You're gonna get tased! (audience exclaiming)
(audience laughing) - These cops, they
gotta get in shape, man. (Chanel laughing) Now they don't wanna
tackle, that's the problem. - Get back, sideways, sideways, sideways. Got him, no he's down, he's down! He took the goal line, the goal line! The goal line! He made it, okay. If that's not one of the most incredible running plays by a naked man of all time. - They don't wanna tackle him. - I'm made he dragged his
(beep) on a little boy and an old man. (everyone laughing) He took his (beep) for his son! (everyone laughing) "Not on my son!" - He just took a (beep) for his son! He said, "Ah!" His (beep) went. Oh my God, the Real McCoy. (applause and cheering) All right, the only way to follow that up is with a group of people that are the exact
opposite of you, all right? People that could not get out of the way of anything, simple titled Not Real McCoys. All right, I'm cruising. Watch out for bull traffic. (audience exclaiming) - Is that a bull, what is that? - This is like a high speed goat, man. A street goat. A violent street goat. (Chanel laughing) All right, only gotta avoid the glass. - I'm blaming whoever cleaned that glass. - [Rob] Let me out of this fun house! (audience exclaiming) I'm doing this thing. It's too much chaos! It's too much chaos! (audience laughing) - Oh my God! - Man, she's been getting
knocked down for years. - I feel bad for her. - She got rotten. - Every time she faces one
of those revolving doors, it's like, "Aw (beep), here we go." (audience laughing) - Aw, granny. - [Rob] Get there! We got 16 concussions on paper, guys. - Why they keep going though? - You love that the biggest
kid's way in the back. Put that mother (beep) up front and let's get through this paper, man. (audience laughing) You just gotta avoid it. Move right, left, right, left. (audience exclaiming) He did this like. - He did a confusions juke. (audience laughing) He didn't know where to go. - Get outta the way, get outta the way! (audience exclaiming) This coulda just caught him in the stomach and flipped him up, and
that thing caught him right in the face. - One more time from the beginning. One more time, please. (audience laughing) - All right, we got a guest today, man. This is like shooting
the real show right now. We got the nation champ here. Now let me ask you this. Last year you guys got beat by Alabama. How good did it feel to beat Alabama this year? - It felt good, man. Just being able to walk off
the field with the belt. You on top. - Did you think all yeah, "I
just hope we see them again"? - Somewhat. But once we got in the
playoffs I was like, "Man, Alabama need to be the team "we meet up at the Championship." - And once again, the game of his life to win a national championship. Give it up for this man! (applause and cheering) All right, so what we decided
to do in Ridiculousness style is look at some people
trying to play football that'll never have the
skillset that you have and never get to the next level. We call 'em Deshaun-a-bes. Take a look. - [Woman Recording] Go. - [Rob] Go, you got it. I tell you what, pull little Jimmy. There you go! - [Steelo] He dragged his body. - [Rob] Man, nothing gets your quads going like a little white kid. (everyone laughing) - Dang, they need some time to get that grass stain out. - Man, that's a new
form of ginger training. Go ahead. Oh, what? Caught it. There you go. Oh, all right. No no. No, no. If you get tackled by a three-year old, you have no hope playing football. Go ahead. (Deshaun laughing) Yup, just give that
football away or flatten it and turn it into a baseball glove. Here we go! Here we go! Get there, get there, get there. (audience exclaiming) - [Steelo] Oh, they set him up! They set him up! - Okay. All right.
- He let him through! They let him through! - Okay, okay. And lights out! All right, I tell you what, thank you so much for our
guest coming down here tonight. We're still keeping it moving! This is Ridiculousness on Friday nights! All right, so almost 300 career home runs. You got two Home Run Derby titles, right? If I'm not mistaken,
you're the only person to have it with National
League and American League. Do you love home runs? - Yeah. I mean, yeah. - So when you were young were you like, "Man, I could kill this thing. "I'm gonna be hitting so many home runs "when I get to the big leagues"? - Yeah, a little bit, but I don't know, I think my dad kept me
humbled, so it wasn't too bad. - But did you always know
this is what you were gonna do and did you stop maybe in junior high and be like, "Man, I think
I'm gonna be a running back." - Yeah, once I realized
I was gonna be 5"11' I decided to give basketball up and take baseball pretty serious. - Okay, and that's when you're like, "Give me the glove, give me the ball." All right, look, dedicated to your power, our category simply titled Sluggers. You're getting batted down. - [Man] One shot, one shot.
- [Rob] Get there. (audience laughing) - I gotta go back through. You can tell this the most athletic thing he's ever had to do. Look at his face. (audience laughing) - Oh, there's so much emotion. (Rob yelling) (everyone laughing) Sodas and bats right out your teeth. (audience exclaiming) I know this has never happened to you. - No. - I'm swinging for the noggin! (audience laughing) I think you get hit in
the head a lot as a kid and then you wonder why
you're crazy as an adult. (audience laughing) - [Woman] Oh, so you play
as one team together? - You need two controllers. - [Woman] Oh, to play against one another? (audience exclaiming) Oops. (audience laughing)
- [Boy] Mom, I'm sorry. - [Woman] That's all right. - That's how you know you're rich 'cause I wouldn't have
even got to explain myself. She was like, "Oops,
it's okay, it's okay." - You ever played Wii baseball? - Yeah. - Can your kids beat
you at that you think? - Uh-uh, I don't let 'em. (everyone laughing) - "Please, dad." "Sit down!" (Chanel laughing) I'm escaping! No you're not. (audience exclaiming) - We just watched a murder.
- He's dead. - We're all witnesses now. - [Rob] I don't know about this. This is either fake or someone's
seriously in the hospital. (audience laughing) - Dead. - That's it, you might get slugged up. Okay. (applause)
