Ricky Jay-Learned Pigs and Fireproof Women

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I have this book. Good stuff.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/Brolonious 📅︎︎ Oct 16 2017 đź—«︎ replies
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Are you ready for a world where men spout kerosene? Magicians defy gravity, a world of mind bending contortionist. Where pigs do math and ladies twirl fire. Are you ready for amazing entertainment unlike any you seen before? Are you ready for Learned Pigs and Fire Proof Women? Learned Pigs and Fireproof Women is hosted by Ricky jay with special guest stars comedian Elayne Boosler, Olympic gold medalist Maat Biondi and a special appearance from Steve Martin. Tonight you we will share the extra-ordinary skills of a master puppeteer, a bafflingly strong women, a symphonic glass player, a crystal ball juggler a human computer and a astonishing quick change artist and a priceless mechanical marvel. You think that’s good for finale orga lays on the ground. They put a piano on his chest paino player stands on his thigh and pound outs the accompany men while he sings Ireland must be heaven for my mother came from there. One minute to curtains Mr. Jay. Keep it up slugger. You know Ricky in all the years we have been friends you have been telling me about these acts, I am so excited that I’m finally going to see them. Hope you save me a good seat. My dear you have the best seat in the house. Have a good show smooth talker. Ladies and Gentlemen will you please welcome Steve Martin. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. You know ever since the first cavemen walked accidentally killed itself by swallowing flaming fire sticks in order to amuse his fellow cavepersons. People have been looking for new and ever more original ways to entertain their fellowmen. And never, i repeat never in the anals of entertainment has one man devoted himself more dutifully, studied so scrupulously and documented so diligently, he is eccentric bizarre and astonishing feats of physical and mental daring do and the man they call America’s scholar of the unusual, Magician, Author, bon bi vaunt, raconteur, prestidigitator extraordinaire and a personal friend to whom I no longer owe a favor Ricky Jay. Thanks Steve. Steve will be back a later with an act that will certainly qualifys as unique. You know from the time I was child learning magic at my grandfather’s knee. My lifes passion is strange and unusual entertainers I have travelled around the world searching out artist of astonishing skills and accomplishment both live and those preserved on film. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am ready to assume my rightful position as the man who throws a ordinary playing cards higher harder and faster and farther than anyone in the world. Thank you very much. I’d like to throw cards this evening but unfortuanely this theater is much to small. You know I wrote a book about self defence with ordinary playing cards, in which I discuss the methods and reasons why one should always carry a deck of cards. First they are inexpensive, secondly if you are good with them you make a small fortune before the actual attack. Third there has been no recorded bust for carrying playing card as a conceled weapon. But for those of you who prefer skill to verbiage I’ll in fact throw one. Don’t let these hit you if they do then you would want to sue me and I am not a wealthy man. I am gonna try all the way back in the balcony. Oh yeah! Yeah. Yeah. Thank you very much. But I know what you say, sure this man can throw cards with incredible speed and accuracy but can he throw a card and make it return back to his hand a symbolic acrom of Australian boomerang. I know what you say sure he can throw cards and catch it when it returns to your hand but can you upon that cards return cut it neatly in half with a pair of giant scissors. Yes I can, if anyone here has a pair of giant scis... Does anyone up here has a pair of giant scissors? I do, and I might add I feel so much better now. Here is the way this works. I throw the card in the air and when it returns I cut it neatly in half. I should point out if you are attacked by a pair of giant scissors you may throw a card at them disabling them completely. But for those of you who prefer skill to verbiage I’ll in fact. Well I’m on way to the luckiest night of my life. I know what you are saying sure you can throw cards in the air and cut it neatly in half upon their return. But can you defend yourself against plastic. If you are ever attacked by animal band or band of animals, Fire, Yes, yes, yes. Chapter Seven, self defense against plastics. This seemingly mild mannered plastic duck once took a small portion of anatomy home with him, I keep him around as a reminder about how difficult life on the road can be. You are attacked by plastic duck I suggest three methods of self defense first stare next is the bold jester not doable on television, finally fire at the duck.Yes. This is something I do early in my show because this displays would be hecklers. i know what you saying sure you can defend yourself from plastics but can you defend yourself against fruits. Ladies and Gentlemen I can indeed and may times I have. I will not waste your time this evening with complex pairs of fruits. No no no. Ladies and Gentlemen tha most prodigious of household fruits. You guessed it, the watermelon. Out of season and dreadfully expensive. Watch as I try to penetrate the juicy rich red interior of said melon with a perfectly placed shot of a ordinary playing card. Ladies and gentlemen please notice that my last two shots have penetrated exactly the same slit of watermelon. A feat so impressive im forced to mention it myself. But I know what you say this aint sure. You are able to throw cards to the rich red interior of said melon but can you penetrate the even thicker epidermatis outer melon layer. Of course not. Who could do that? But encouraged by your aggravation i will attempt to penetrate the even thicker epidermatis outer melon layer. Watch. Yeah.. This scares the melon. This wounds the melon. This pisses me off. My last card.
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Channel: 770pratik
Views: 67,544
Rating: 4.8767967 out of 5
Keywords: Learned, Pigs, and, fireproof, woman
Id: bdYto9Ehrj0
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 57min 58sec (3478 seconds)
Published: Thu Aug 16 2012
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