Richard Ayoade Finds Out If Exploring Venice Italy Is Worth It | Absolute Jokes

mini brakes are 50 Shades of cray-cray how can anyone go somewhere new and be expected to enjoy themselves without at least a decade to decompress with no idea where to go how to wait and what to do it's impossible to stop the whole thing turning into a Monumental fudger but fear not for I a weak man who shares some superficial traits with Showbiz has been Richard ayawada have come to your Aid stop saddled with an ungainly gaggle of TV types I'm going to take you pelting through a maxi mini break lead the team Joe this is travel without Mercy this time 48 hours in the Atlantis it's okay to believe in the massively watery Venice matching me stride for stride as comedian and Scaffolding expert Joe brand together we'll use Mighty sticks to propel ourselves no I can't remember Joe you're panicking ingeniously uncover Shady doings are you on drugs yes and relive key moments from the life of Casanova hey do you want to freshen up that spritzer we're here but should we have come it's that gorgeous water and I believe I can run a deep American Venice is a two-hour airplane from London touchdowns on the mainland leaving you to make your way to the edge of the island by train car or this frankly ostentatious Water Taxi Joe have you been here before I have been here before um about 30 years ago and I've met Nicole's enough please don't force me into a compliment it's very pleasing it is it's pretty it may well all collapse quite soon yes one or two millimeters a year it's going down by that's going to hit the window box within a decade yeah the 25 minute Journey takes us down venice's Central gullet right to the liquid heart of whatever this metaphors become but despite the appalling poultritude of the joint we still insist on pretending there's some kind of Y to be extracted so Richard why Venice we're literally about to cut to me explaining why Venice has fewer canals in Birmingham but don't give up on it just yet because Venice isn't as rubbish as you might think it's about 1600 years old made up of 180 Islands mostly man-made intersected by 150 canals and linked by 400 Bridges it's got a population of 55 000 but that figure is doubled on a daily basis by visitors conventions claimed as Venetian include Tiramisu and the newspaper two things I'll only eat if pressed if you can keep a firm hand on the fiscal tiller a couple of cats can command a weekend in Venice for approx five C's a piece but not if you're for some reason minded to stay in a hotel like the one we've wrangled foreign there's over a thousand bunk houses in Venice but the hotel danieli is situated at the Apex of Swank Mountain a mere Pebble log from Saint Mark's Square is 14th century Grandeur is almost exhausting hello welcome I wish you a pleasant stay and thank you thank you and so I fulfill my lifelong dream to ascend the same staircase that Johnny Depp almost certainly stepped foot on in the Smash Hit film The Tourist didn't say what room number is I'm gonna have to read off the tassel [Music] geologist Indiana Jones Minnie broke here as well as cultural colossi Gerta Wagner Chuck Dickens and your boy Byron to conserve my dwindling energy I decide to view Joe's quarters called the princess Suite after Katie Price's daughter via the complimentary Wi-Fi let's have a look at the scale of the digs what's going on there this is the bedroom I'm sitting on the bed at the moment okay and over here I've got like a massive wardrobe can you see that yes probably means I've only got one thing to wear sure I'll spread it out in the wardrobe all right I'm going to get it thanks because it's the sort of battle Mariah Carey would have go on embossed towels it's always good to know where you've stolen the towel from should I take you to my sitting room do you have a sitting room I am ashamed to say I don't have a sitting room baby's toenails keep them for later you'll be hungry in the middle of the night okay all right it's coming now see you bye bye Missy already Etc don't lie don't don't cheapen this with no time allotted for lounging in luxury we Trot off to ingest this so-called city of Venice venice's stupidly liquid Street system attracts 20 million visitors per annum and while you could Safeguard your coin purse by taking the water bus Joe whether on land or not will only travel by gondola [Music] OMG oh God no oh reasonably elegant but not very thank you here we go we're in one of 400 gondolas still active in Venice only 400. yeah there used to be 10 000 but you're joking times are hard for the gondola wow this looks like a funeral gone delay to me they all have to be painted black by law now right they used to be in flamboyant colors it was getting out of hand they were lime green ones oh okay ones with Bob Marley on the side I don't know as I continue to regurgitate Gondola fact being fed to me via my earpiece Alessandro AWS us towards a prime piece of Venetian real estate oh here you go Bridge of size oh what this thing here yes because that's a prison right I think the bridge to size well supposedly about prisoners looking back at free Venice for the last time I'm an enclosed Bridge obviously so they couldn't jump out on the way across even if they did jump off I mean they're going nowhere fast someone might catch them right there putting a gondola escaping at this pace we'll never catch them oh yes we will we'll just get in an adjoining Gondola and over the period of half an hour slowly okay what's your top speed about could be seven eight kilometers seven or eight kilometers yeah we could achieve this kind of speed if we literally just fell in the river and drifted 80 Euros for the worse the half an hour Gondola Glides has given Joe and I a freshly awakened reverence for the city any City that flooded would look like this no it wouldn't well croydon's not a city but it wouldn't look like this I'd love croydon's got a John Lewis Dixon's waitrose what's this got nothing it's got water damage we can't stand around looking like a couple of Basset Hounds all day because I feel an urgent need to Source pre-owned reading material and Venice claims to contain the most beautiful second-hand Bookshop in the world Liberia Aqua Alta is perversely popular with locals and tourists it has books stored in a gondola row boats and bathtubs in a manner that could be unfairly described as contrived ironically this isn't run like a tight ship this is um quite free from piling on top yeah it's a nightmare I'm having a panic attack quick then this way okay look what come on what how's he going to sell this book He's not selling this book it's a challenge though go on this is going to be like the tablecloth trip what is it conversation criminal conversations there we go and look what we're having this is poorly laid out I'd like to browse within there how can I do it I can't the whole thing's an affectation it's pretentious well you'd have to come here for a very long time and just one by one take them off the pile and look at them I'd like to leave this creepy place but do you think it's creepy I feel it's on the creepy side mercifully the only book we'll need in this next sequence is already secreted upon my person for we are about to explore Venice methodologically without the unwelcomely human presence of a tour guide Joe yes you crave Adventure I do crave Adventure I'm going to give you a map that's very adventurous thank you now we're going to play this yes it's an interactive tour this is what it says an itinerary lined with enigmas to uncover the Mysteries and learn about the most enchanting places of Venice why why uses the city's landmarks to form a supposedly unique mystery tour around Venice the clues Lead You from One historical site to another and are obtained via a combination of crushingly complicated book info and text message a young girl on a boat holding two particular objects in her hands what are they well let's have a look how can we find a lost column it's either there or it isn't I give up very easily it's one of my problems in life so I just text them where is it we'll see you talking about this is like being on The Apprentice but without any Prospect of making money lead the team Joe lead the team be a leader lead it okay good team leader machine no I don't know whether I need Joe with my organization Fortune Strokes on Shanks Joe has spied something along the side of the Paris I think that's her yes because she's the only one without a beard crabbing a and a moon one object's slightly more plausible to hold than another the data roaming on this is going to kill me Great Richard you've got it oh please why am I on Dora the Explorer let's move on next Target what is the name of the street that faces the Campo de la bragora where unofficial executions took place we need to find the Palazzo gritty bedor I really feel I'm engaging with the city why why includes 60 destinations across Venice which sounds like a number of destinations what we're looking for is a Calais which is like a little lane I can only see one little lane that's it and it's called Stella multi which means so so we found it YY has a selection of game durations from two to nine hours But as time type Travelers with a packed itinerary we must with heavy heart truncate our Quest I have enjoyed it very much but looking at your face you've enjoyed it slightly less Don't Judge Me by Mike possibly unbelievable face a lot of this is Damage Done by wind chill [Music] day cracked to reveal the moth of night our belly specifically cry out for local Cuisine I'm absolutely ravenous for the time tonight mini breaker in search of nourishment the Cantina de Chico is nothing less than compulsory we're here for chicketti the Venetian version of Tapas and we are going to say vital seconds because there's no menus and the eats arrive all at once we don't even have to squander what time we have left on Earth by seating ourselves because the whole thing is traditionally child bolt upright [Music] I can't say anything else now that's all we've got okay yes fish ham cheese salami we make everything at the moment what do you like for drink okay I give you the champ and white Italian unless you have Fanta like to accompany the champagne Noir we're shoveling down a seafood platter of mackerel sea bass squid swordfish and my old adversary raw prawn this is a lot of recently deceased Seafood before I have started without you okay you can't help your heartbringing the salad looks like something that's been composted for a month in a bad way nope it tastes okay yes I think the mackerels um write up my Canal of your alley okay yes that's lovely that's good and what's that like that's fine oh well done so good fine and yes yeah your vocabulary is expanded massively a lot of this comes directly from Keith Floyd okay we're providing light and shade within this absolutely definitive review feeling understandably proud of our achievements we polish off the platter as day one succumbs to the endless March of minitage you rejoin us at the apogee of our 48 hours in Venice so far we have forked through traditional chicetti that's lovely lost our sense of cells in an immersive experience what am I looking for a young girl on a boat and browsed an ill-organized Bookshop that's a nightmare having a panic attack as day two unflaps its musky Majesty we rise in Urgent pursuit of cultural consumption before the clocks even have the chance to get round to eight we are loping like long-eared leopards through venice's well-world-renowned Saint Mark's Square it is cold but this is better with no people in it yes we're missing their ambient heat but we're gaining visibility venice's most visited tourist attraction was constructed in the 12th century quickly becoming the political religious and social center of the town and we can also see the flooding which is coming up from the ground oh I see I just thought that was big puddles it had rain no this is what happened here it's very low I should just put lots of towels down viewing its Trio of sights from the outside by simply moving your head around is mercifully time efficient I think it's very attractive indeed stunning in fact good the Basilica is a totally famous Church the Doge's Palace was historically the city's political and judicial Hub and the clock tower is venice's most commanding landmark it's a real mixture of styles but I couldn't tell you what they are because I don't know enough I think that's good enough for me shall we go on yeah let's anytime you mini break a bod has to provide evidence that he's left the borders and not spent the weekend in his pants watching box set in some kind of doomed attempt to connect with popular culture you make all of these masks here for yourself yes we do there is a mall for every mask like this one yes and by hand just paper water and glue you push in the mold yeah when you take out take it out take some time to dress out and then it's ready to start you yeah we cut all the process it's all handmade really initially used for keeping locals Anonymous while gambling partying and seducing masks have been a part of Venetian culture for Ruddy ages why do people buy masks foreign yes every year in February the most traditional one is it was this it's called the bauta okay it was the mask of Casanova okay oh okay come on now this will immediately increase my erotic power which is already pretty hard well yeah then fight it another element here we go yes exactly hey do you want to freshen up that spritzer yeah and we'll have a selection of bar snacks thank you what is the um the most popular women's the most popular for a woman was that one that one with the stick that looks very nice it's better than that one really isn't it what are you talking about you look like Thomas the Tank engine's Psychopathic brother yeah but you're engaging with me aren't you apparently come on we're sparking eyes are emptied out of empathy I have no empathy I'm just looking to close deals close deals throughout this town shutting it down on the rare occasions that this doesn't work I immediately switched to this one because if this one doesn't work you just come back into the bar hey that other guy what a jerk that my brother was here before he's so pushy um look why don't we get out of here and see you can just come back cool welcome back this is this is excellent but I can't spend all day pretending to be Russell Brand at some kind of post Renaissance Club 18 to 30 because we're late for gondola School our teacher Eleanor will help us develop an ultimately Master the craft during a 90 Min lesson so in this boat we will roll in the Venetian typical style okay this is sanding facing forward so it's not like in the English style rowing which are sitting and pulling backwards we can't simply roll without thinking about the other boys that's very racist but come on let's so if we all roll with our eyes shot in England Eleanor has been perfecting her voga ala Veneta stroke for 20 years we have less time than that for psychological reasons so we paddle out after a couple of mins twist drop push are you feeling that extra power forcing through the boats um ish you don't have to withhold praise you know sometimes you can be a big person by praising someone else be honest is this the best growing you've ever seen now is one of the best beginners one of them [Music] here we go it's Euro Euro a wrong way no not that way that way that way no I can't remember joke you're panicking uh I can't I saw oh is it yeah there we go don't you dare Stop Believing in yourself Joe don't you dare you are a natural Gondolier you were born to Gondolier you were born to do this Joe it's worth [Music] um yes flat twists in push that's the only way I can do it well you should see that that poor woman's walking going fast enough and she's disabled so it just shows that I'm not very good at a push despite Eleanor's fervent pleas that we never leave her side from this day forth our time on the water must end how are you feeling well I kind of feel that I've achieved something I was sort of able to do it a bit but quite bad most of the time I felt your Technique grew and became very mature by the end our achievements have been so vast that it would be perverse not to reward ourselves with ice cream so we hit the streets in search of some kind of vendor Italy is the home of gelato and the best homemade gelato in all Venice is to be found at Alaska gelaterius orbitaria justly rated for its wide-ranging choice of flavors ice cream yes please can I try the rum and raisin in a cone in a cone waffle cone oh this one this one you are a fancy man brilliant what's that one top right in the top this one is chocolate chips okay is that good with this yes okay and I give you a spoon of pistachio okay thank you very much Bon Appetito please for me one like that's except Piccolo very good is ginger there's salad and orange oh I have Rockets oh yes please thank you very much Ginger is lovely very nice rocket how's that too healthy I can show you uh some of the wow well um watermelon pineapple carrots ice cream onions red onions really well honestly even you don't understand why that one no one wanted why are you so happy are you on drugs yes it's sugar rush because I'm constant Sugar Rush well all I can say this is Excellence well welcome I hope you enjoy it very much our trip is close to conclusion and we must repack our knapsacks the total coin drop in Venice is a chastening 3283 pounds apiece although 93 of that was on our ludicrous Hotel before we check out we Barrel up to the roof Terrace Joe yes how do you think it went great good I really enjoyed Venice what have you enjoyed most the activity on the Gondola the rowing yes number two um wonderful Venice buildings so literally Venice itself literally then come to number two behind rowing absolutely I like the mask shop I thought you liked them I like the mask shop why because I'm an individualistic capitalist consumer it is pleasing it's a shame it's sinking it's going to take a while I demand a certain kind of solidity from what's under my feet I'm Not Jesus probably I'm possibly not Jesus no I think we'll take that as a given foreign [Music]

Channel: Absolute Jokes

Views: 25,099

Keywords: Absolute Jokes, British TV stars abroad, British entertainment, Italian culture, authentic Italian experiences, comedy travel guides, comedy trip, cultural exploration, entertainment abroad, fun abroad, hilarious experiences abroad, hilarious exploration, humor abroad, humorous escapades, humorous travel adventures, international exploration, second-hand bookstores, tiramisu tasting, travel adventures, travel vlog

Id: yfM7jkDw3-E

Length: 23min 16sec (1396 seconds)

Published: Sat May 27 2023