r/facepalm | "why would you use THAT?"

not one nfl player ran into the world trade center on 9 11. remember that cops did you see look brave cops but both of those pictures are fire fighters so uh all they had to do was look at the badge on the hat like it literally says the fire department come on hey everyone my name is jake and welcome to facebook where we're gonna be looking at stupid people doing stupid things such as you know doing a gender reveal party but instead of going oh look the ultrasound says it's a boy or the ultrasound says it's a girl they light a forest on fire that's that's not what you're supposed to do that's stupid yeah that's what these people are enjoy every day we stray further from allah god is better than allah oh can't wait for someone to tell this dude what allah means yeah it's the islamic interpretation of god which is fundamentally different from the christian god bro it's literally just arabic for god you absolute troglodyte arabic christians say allah when referring to their god does that mean that god is not real and all christians are actually muslims or that you're just a dumb idiot bro just wait until someone tells him that the kids are learning the arabic numerals oh he's going to be an uproar after all the aftermath and destruction of the notre dame fire the altar and cross remain untouched please explain to me how you don't believe in god after seeing this wow maybe because the melting point of gold is 1064 degrees and a wood fire burns at around 600 degrees maybe just maybe you know so i had a wedding in my calendar for this saturday and i was very stressed out because i didn't know whose it was and i was afraid i was going to miss it then i realized that it was part of my 20-year plan that i'd set like five years ago it's my wedding i'm missing my wedding i wonder if the 20-year plan is going to plan then obviously not if you missed the wedding but anything else going right 30 kids from my school had a prom no masks no social distancing and we start school in a week school doesn't require testing for anyone and i'm praying that they don't cause an outbreak in school i'm 17 and only have one parent who's 60 with asthma and i'd like to graduate high school with that one parent being there oh this one's just kind of sad like i just wouldn't risk going there like i just do online isn't it weird how a coronavirus death rate of 1 is plenty low to open everything but meanwhile voter fraud incidents of 0.0001 means end vote by mail can someone please explain to me what this like mail vote ballot thing is i just don't get it i know it's political and you want to vote but surely if you live in like a different country and you're u.s citizen you want to vote you have to do it by mail right or is it like there's rigging and stuff because i'm pretty sure everything gets rigged if it's gonna get rigged but yeah i just don't understand it blm is now cancelling families i found out some of my fam had a get-together last night and i wasn't invited haven't seen them in months apparently some of my cousins have been very offended with me saying all lives matter and dropping facts about blm so they didn't want me there sad ah that is a strange way of saying my family won't hang out with me because i'm racist maybe you should get a new family we've been in a pandemic for six months the federal government gave people twelve hundred dollars ah for just six dollars a day you too can sponsor an american if you'll need a soundtrack for this commercial just let me know and i swear like not even everyone has got the money yet and they've given the money to like just random people that don't even live in america oh my god an actual face palm in real life let's check this out ah just genius how did he break into that lock my favorite color is glitter is that supposed to be because that looks an awful lot like yeah hitler my fave color is also hitler no that's that's not a colour and it shouldn't be anyone's favorite anything deaths in the united states a hundred and eighty nine thousand uh all i see is numbers no proof who owns and controls this particular site i have many friends in the united states and no one knows anyone who's died of covet yeah well three thousand people died in 9 11. all i see is numbers no proof who owns and controls this particular psy i have many friends in the united states and no one knows anyone who died in 9 11. that's obviously sarcastic and then you get the reply of are you serious are you actually questioning if 3 000 people died on 9 11 because your friends didn't personally know any of them like i think it was a joke i i think it was a joke bro going off that logic though like technically i didn't see the black plague so did it really happen i don't think it did it must be fake it's all everything that i didn't see must be fake right that's how it works no this white lady just whispered to her husband there's so many asian people ma'am this is a flight to japan oh just wait until she gets there she's gonna be in shock when they don't even speak english a man purchased a watermelon during a train stop without realizing that it didn't fit through the window bars smooth bro real smooth you know we can try uh do you slice it outside of the train and then bring it in maybe i told a guy we do ask our customers to wear masks and he said screw it your loss and i said sorry to hear that be safe and he yelled all lives matter and i don't think he used that right yeah uh that like it doesn't go together really uh these bummy canadians don't have cash app uh universal healthcare anybody at 18 years of age can vote multi-party political system during the pandemic we get 2k a month which was given to impacted workers weed is legal and instead of cash up we have e-transfer which is free oh well skye jackson class of 2020 okay and then a little nice x let's go uh you're too old for her yo he's gay he's like 25 and she's 16 yet but he's gay he's older than her why are you insulting him bro he is literally homosexual and i'm like 90 sure she's 18 and he's 21. and he just said let's go like he didn't ask it to marry him like come on wow look at this we seized all of these bad things we see 60 kilos i mean uh 59 kilos of that thing all guns i think he might have something there either that or he's just ate a lot at lunch yeah in 2012 a scientific study predicted a 39-inch rise in sea level along the north carolina coast over the next century in response north carolina lawmakers passed a law banning the use of scientific predictions of sea level rise when considering new developments along the coast great yeah that's that'll really work out in the long run i guess short term it won't matter for these guys so they don't care is there any sort of book subscription for kids that exists when you order books and once you read them you return them and get more yeah it's called a library you know the thing that you go and get the book ah please what is the primary reason you ordered food was it promotion or advertisement coupons or discount recommendation from a friend or family member team member recommendation previous positive experience item in display case looked appetizing or other please specify uh i was hungry um like i understand the companies are trying to get information like okay do we do more advertising because people clicked it because of advertising do we do more this do we do more of that but sometimes i'm just hungry all right it's not like an advertising thing i just want pizza i'll order pizza all right megalodon the shark that lived about 60 million years ago wow uh how did he live 60 million years ago if the earth is only 20 20 years old ah good question well he lived in the sea and not in the earth ah that makes sense now that's how all those fish used to live has anyone tried making edibles but without weed like virgin edibles or something wait you mean food like i'm pretty sure you're allowed to go and make brownies or cookies or whatever you want without the need to put weed in it like you don't have to i couldn't find my headphones and it's late at night solution get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume um if i can't find my headphones what makes you think i'm just gonna find a stethoscope just lying around wait you guys don't have stethoscopes just lying around everywhere oh this is bbc news for england risk of second wave without young social distancing okay go back to school go back to uni make sure you're eating out as much as possible wait bad young people what are you doing not gonna lie this is very true like they literally gave us 50 off eating out anywhere and they told us to go eat outside in restaurants and stuff and then when it went back up they were like why are you guys not social this is like bruh you literally gave us an incentive to go out w what no mask protesters try to burn mask but they fail because it's fire resistant oh yeah this is big brain time you just gotta burn it show who's boss come on it's not lighting why isn't it okay just throw it away wow the nfl has been around longer than our government we about to have the 49th super bowl but there's only been 44 presidents what that's kind of crazy right okay so you think your day is bad a key was falling off its little ring so i bit down on it to close up the ring it got stuck between my teeth then when trying desperately to cut the ring with wire strippers they got stuck too what a day why would you try and cut it with wire strip it not can you imagine walking into like a e or the er room just like this uh guys i have a bit of a problem wow i love online courses oh my you can't read anything oh no this is great no this is hell and we tried to tell the teacher we couldn't read and he said stop writing in the chat speak instead oh no and he didn't have speakers oh no i can imagine taking the entire class this guy realizes and he's like you guys should have said something thanos be like perfectly balanced as all things should be and it's 50 50 oh yeah with 190 votes so anyone want to explain how 190 split into 50 and 50 percent does this person seriously want the two times table explained to them like like come on all right so i bought 30 worth of groceries paid twenty dollars cash and put the remaining ten on my debit then hit the button for twenty dollars cashback the clerk didn't notice wait how does this work doesn't it charge your debit thirty dollars overall nope you give the clerk the twenty dollars cash first they take it off the total then you use your debit card to pay the balance the card machine will ask if you want cash back just hit yes and ask for the twenty dollars back yeah and they charged your debit card thirty dollars i can't tell if you're trolling or if you're an idiot who genuinely thinks you pulled some genius scam to be fair to him i i remember when my mom used to get cash back at the the supermarket and i'd be like how are you just getting free cash back every time this must be some kind of reward system or something and then i realized no you're just withdrawing extra cash like an atm okay well if you want to watch more click on screen one there one there two videos how good is that you get the choice of two or you could just subscribe and then watch videos when they come out thanks

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Views: 564,631

Rating: 4.9295583 out of 5

Keywords: FakeJake, reddit, funny reddit, memes, best posts, top posts, business, stories, story, jobs, degree

Id: 4LfMOszAOKs

Length: 12min 58sec (778 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 17 2020