Warning the following video was rated M for MMMMMHMMMMMM If you're young, you shouldn't watch this so viewer discretion is advised. But hey, I won't tell if you won't ;) So Resident Evil 7 came out in 2017 and everyone was like.... "HELL YEAH!!!!" "I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD!!!" The game received mostly positive reviews And after years of duking it out with the critics and fans, Capcom finally found some footing with their latest installment of... That weird gunk stuff that collects in the sink with bad mojo mixed in feat. dirty people yelling: The Video Game Because Resident Evil 7 had the standard R.E formula But it gave it a modern twist to shake up the series once again, aka They broke out the next gen gaming taser and lightning chained the thing back to life. Going from Third-Person Action to First-Person Survivor Horror Resident Evil 7 was a first for the series But it also went back to some of its roots, to bring you a poop your pants inducing terrifying family experience. Cuz this time you can see your hands closer than ever before. But even though the change in perspective was fitting for the horror focus, Not everyone was happy with the new approach and the game in-general. Accusing Capcom of swoozin' in to fill the void that Silent Hill's was supposed to fill in our sad nihilistic hearts (Notice me ;-;)
Ya Weirdos....... People felt the game wasn't "Quote" "Unquote".... Cuz it checked off too many of those modern horror game tropes But lo' and behold it didn't really matter, because Resident Evil was one of the first Triple A games with full VR support. And surprise surprise y'all.... Anything is scary when you have a toaster strapped to your face and the sensation of a hillbilly making out with your ears is.... ALL TOO REAL Welcome to the family son. (PUNCH KO) And for the record guys, I am going to be covering the non VR version of the game not that it makes much of a difference gameplay wise, don't you worry. But there are some slight differences, but lord knows I'll never really know... Because there's no way you're getting me in that white hell box since I love myself, And also I have a fat head I'm not even sure if it'll fit properly.... But anyway, if you're new to Resident Evil 7 here a bunch of tips, tricks and heads up..... For people who don't know **** about this game... So you play as Ethan Winters... A handsouhhh.... *RECORD SCRATCH* Actually, we don't really see him that much. He could look like this in the beginning for all we know..... But ehh..the game is in first person y'all, what do you want for me? You play as Ethan.... A stupidly determined, over loyal husband who receives a "totally normal" update message from his wife Mia, who has been presumed dead for the last three years.... ...warning Ethan to "Quote" "Unquote" stay away...... And being the total smartypants that he is decides to do..... ...the exact opposite of that and goes looking for MIa at the last place she was seen at... The good ole" nice, warm, southern livin' Louisiana Baker plantation. I hear their falls are just lovely...... But quickly after arriving, it's very apparent something ain't quite right in the creepy house in the middle of nowhere... I dunno.... Could be that abandoned TV vans.....
.....that's kind of weird Or maybe that dead horse gateway into sludge land....
......That Should Raise A Few Red Flags or HEEEEEY........ MAYBE THAT TAPE THAT SHOWS PEOPLE GETTING KILLED IN THE HOUSE THAT YOU'RE CURRENTLY IN?!? NOPE!?! STILL GOING?! ALRIGHT!!! Well....despite all the warning signs the house is gonna be a bad time..... Ethan still somehow dives in head first to find Mia, and after a fun little lover's quarrel........ Ethan gets knocked out and is kidnapped by the family And then he starts to mentally consider online dating for a little bit after some self-reflection ETHAN:("I should have never checked my gmail")
And then he starts to mentally consider online dating for a little bit after some self-reflection But it soon becomes very apparent that stuff is hella messed up in the Baker plantation And there is something much darker and sinister at work in the house. An unnatural evil keeping hold of the residents..... A Resident Evil if you will and...... OH MAI GOD THATS THE NAME OF THE GAME!!! GAME THEORY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????? But Ethan's limits are put to the ultimate test to escape the demented family's grasp... And to help find a way to solve the mysteries of the household in hopes of saving Mia with..... Whatever the heck is up with her..... OHH gotta get me a freak like that.... hawt dang.... But along the way, You'll meet..... Receding hairlines..... Confused People.... Big Boy Plagues..... Parental Guidance (Rated by ESRB).... Fragile Drywall.... (OH YEAH) Angry Licorice..... (helen keller mode......) Good, Fun, Omnipresent Company.... gas! Gas!! GAS!!! I'M GONNA STEP ON THE GAS!!!! *HONK* A desperate need for soap..... Home family cooking....... Shadow Puppets...... Freakishly real ambient noises....... *SPOOPY NOISE* "THE HELL WAS THAT?" Hands up for Jesus.... ?!?WHO?!?DESIGNED?!?THIS?!?!HOUSE?!?! Sexual tension....... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Swamp Stank.....(Sponsored by Glade) Just TERRIBLE Passive Aggressive Doors....... *SLAM* Bigger, Better, Stronger...... BEES!!!!! Fresh Country Water...... "Hello there" Personal Space....... Screaming..... YELLING....... BATHTUBS! SOCKS!!!!!!! And learning what family really means. (Go Tell Aunt Rhody by Michael Levine & Jorden Reyne) There's no joke for this, I just think this opening is really cool... Now obviously....there's a big fat 7 hanging at the end of the games title. But fear not! No, you do not need to know anything from past Resident Evil games to understand RE7's main plot. This is a brand new cast, new situation, new funky gunk smells, new everything Although... Even though Resident Evil 7 brings in a lot of new. This is still very much a Resident Evil game and in the R.E Universe with some connections to past games. Even if they aren't super apparent right away. So I can say that if you know the Resident Evil lore already..... THAT'S GREAT HERE'S A CRACKER CONGRULATIONS ON BEING THAT ONE PERSON Cuz' then certain things will fall into place way easier. But the fun part is discovering the connections to older games Either with the main plot or through reading optional papers, files and little goodies hidden throughtout the area That's more background and detailed to the whole black goo crew It's a story that is straightforward for newcomers, but rewarding for fans So everybody gets to have a swell time.... Except for Ethan.....who's gonna need a lot of therapy after this.... I dunno...try to have fun with it y'all.... But stuff is as deep as you want to be.... You can look at this story as some desperate dense numbskull trying to get his moody wife back from.... ..the in-laws that just need a good shower and a nap. Or as a bio monster mystery to solve... Because the southern lady on the phone promises answers and a plate of corn bread. But by the end of the game all your burning questions will be answered in one way or another.... Like in the DLC 'Not a Hero' available now for...... IT'S F**KING FREE, check it out! But no matter which way you slice and dice the story you'll probably end up getting sliced and diced yourself... *BA-DUM-TISS* Ya get it? Cuz he dies... I'm trying to downplay those guys. He gets his head cut off. It's kind of gruesome oh comedys fun..... Alright, so now you know the setup as to why you're trapped in the banjo people's mansion... But how you gonna make your way downtown without walking too fast? Well to break it down for you Resident Evil 7 is a..... Semi linear first-person shooter survivor horror experience If the horror and first-person was already obvious...... Now your main objective is to find Mia and just get the heck out... But the game realizes it needs to pad out its play time a little bit And you're gonna come across a few rough bumps along the way and things are gonna get messy So to explain how your journey into Willy Wonko's Danko land is gonna work out... The game is a combination of linear sections where it's... Stand here, hit this, run there with some story, action set-pieces... BIG spooks and slappy grandpa pap you with the love paddles, mixed in with open areas to explore filled with.... Puzzles, enemies and traps that requires some type of item or a series of items... In order to unlock more open areas which eventually moves the story along... So you can see more of this DUMPSTER FIRE of a situation... While fighting some fudge monsters for your dear life... HOORAY Now of course the game is gonna keep you on your toes since your objective is gonna be jumping all over the place.... And stuff goes real south real fast But for the most part your objective will always be as clear as day in one way or another. Mainly cuz you can check it whenever you're in the menu And the chick on the phone will literally scream in your ear about what to do next aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH But rather be escaping smelly grandpa's beaten stick.... Or navigating a tunnel full of pudding.... It is important to stay alert and think critically to get out of situations.. So you don't get your face peeled off by.... Whatever the heck THAT is and.... "HEY" "HEY BACK IT UP" "HEY LEAVE ME ALONE" Now in linear sections its pretty easy as to what you're supposed to be doing...... Don't die, go here, pick up this, Hide for a little bit and.... Be yourself and have fun. But most of the big objectives will always include finding key items since that's what makes the magic happen But when you get access to the more open areas you might feel a little overwhelmed with your options and where the key items are.... Now it is pretty obvious which areas will progress the story... (mmmhhhmmm spicy)
*HINT HINT* The big doors of exotic flavors.... But it is important to be mega thorough and explore all the areas make sure you get everything you need to make this.... Crappy vacation kind of worth it and then you can- oh god why did it get so dark suddenly? hello? oh this is weird.... oh.....oh I don't like Corn Bread Lady:(aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH) Corn Bread Lady:(aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH)
WHAT THE FU??? Now key items are a must for opening doors and whatnot but some items are critical to solving puzzles and those can range from.... Raising bridges, burning shadows into the wall ,winding clocks..... And then some puzzles don't require items at all.... And all you can do is just beat your head into the wall until God blesses you with one of the answers *ITEM GET* But don't panic too much about the puzzles. You're a smart cookie, I'm guessing since you made it this far to the video without having a... Piss baby temper tantrum and most if not all the puzzles are logic based... and normally can be solved within the immediate area if you got all that you need.... and DING DONG WE IN BUISNESS BOIS Now this is a big fYI.... You will be able to backtrack like 85% of the game... In order to unlock older areas, once you get the right item so be mindful of locked doors when you find them... Because chances are you'll be back..... Oh, you'll be back..... Cause those doors are sexy.... DOOR:(Hey there girl how you doin ;)) "So like, you come here often?" But the best way to make sure you get everything that you need so you don't run around in circles forever like a chicken.... Is to interact with everything.... Like for reals guys.... If you got the slightest hunch you can move.... Open... Shoot... Toungue.... Or punch something.... Just do it! Cuz you might find some neato stuff in the process,
Am I right guys- OHHHHH!!! Now truth be told the shake-and-bake smelly zone isn't old that big... And if you feel like you've missed a spot ,you can always check your map to help you make sure that you covered everything from head to toe.... Leave no door unlocked, no room unexplored, along with looking for....or- imsorrywhat? Now assuming you explore stuff properly, you'll come across tapes which can be used in the TVs... And these things are mega important in the first playthrough since the tapes act as playable flashbacks... Since everyone has a GoPro strapped to their head apparently... So you can discover some type of information, strategy or passageway that will help you later on in the game..... Now again, these are playable sections, so get ready to duck, hide and solve some puzzles in the process..... But if you're going in blind, you kind of have to watch these things in order to not get Bamboozled later on... So always keep an eye out for them and don't forget to sit back, relax and enjoy the movie..... Ugh finally some good content.... Okay now in this ragtag tootin hootin aggressive poopin adventure....Gameplay wise Resident Evil 7 is...... Let's say it all together now.... A high velocity lead adventure of death Ergo, you're gonna be doing a lot of shootin Ya like guns??? Well ya better because you're gonna be blowing off heads to expose the delicious, gooey center hidden inside..... Delicious :-D But for reals, when you start off the game You'll have very little to work with weapon wise, but as you explore more areas and progress the story... You'll get access to more weapons, little doodads, that make the difference between life, death and a sense of support and comfort... oh mai god im in love Now I don't think I really need to explain how shooting works.... You point you hit the button and stuff dies.... just like in real life..... But the game functions like any other shooter except for a few things, the first being blocking.... But the pure grace of the lord... Barely any enemies in this game have guns.... As weird as that would be... 90% of the time you're gonna be going up against enemies with melee attacks and you're gonna be able to guard against most incoming attacks... if you block at the right time.... Assuming you're in kissing distance between you and sugar lips Cause Ethan is a delicate little cupcake, and if you get smacked around enough, it's game over YOUTUBE COMMENT SECTION:boo you suck Now truth be told if you're good at the game, you won't have to block at all because the best way to not die is... DDDIIISSSSTTTTAAANNNCCCEEEE!!!!!! I don't care if you're shoved into a broom closet with some of these dudes..... or forced to do the sensual tIngo tango..... You make that space.... You own that space......! ...and then you run away from that space cuz he just stepped into my zone.... OH BACK UP For reals though most enemies are rather slow So don't be afraid to turn around and book it then pivot back lock and load and then op from long.... *PLAY OF THE GAME* Reminder everybody..... The second combat thing in this first-person shooter game... Is that you shouldn't be shooting all that much
To be blunt..... There is a great ammo recession in the baker house and stuff ain't exactly coming out the yin-yang.... And it's very very important to conserve ammo as much as possible.... And I'm really stressing this guy's.... 1 shotgun shell can feed a family of four so it's kind of a high commodity... We'll get into the item details soon... But always be on the lookout for ammo and don't shoot stuff unless you have to..... There are several situations in the game where you just need to run away, sit down and shut up, so you don't get powderized on sight... !!!!! Now granted, there will be beef jerky monsters in certain areas... And you should always give them the Glockamole when you can..... But when it comes to the family.... Trust me you'll know when you have to fight mainly, because the game will lock you into a room with them..... And will be really obnoxious about it
Also an FYI, when in boss fights be very mindful of your surroundings....... Because sometimes stuff in the environment is hell of a lot more effective than your little pea shooters.... So when the going gets tough start panicking and looking around the room for things that can murder people..... And save your little suburban white butt.... AH GOSH DANGIT IT BACKFIRED DEJA VU- Back to bullets though....the best way to conserve ammo is to just shoot things in the face since that's the weak point most of the time.... And the faster things die, the less shooting you'll need but certain enemies are weaker to certain weapons... So if you can't kill something you probably need a specific weapon to.... LIGHT THOSE SUCKERS UP TO HIGH HEAVEN!!!! Now one thing to mention... Is yes, you do get a little dinky knife that can be used in combat to save ammo.. but I don't recommend it at all the knife is best suited to opening up boxes and slapping big bugs around and that's it..... Because when in combat it has to finish its swing animation before you can block for some god-awful reason.... And going in for a bear hug with a sledge demon holding a spork isn't the best idea. But as long as you prepare properly ,stay vigilant and ignore all your natural instincts to run in the other direction and take a crying break...... Then nothing can stand in your way
Because you are Ethan winters damnit!!
Boring protagonist Extraordinaire!! Ready to take names and kick butt
And there ain't nothing nobody can do about it!!!! EXCEPT THAT Ok now I've already talked about finding the key items to make your way through the story But Resident Evil 7 is like one of those stupid farmer, geese, fox, grain puzzles half the time.... Because you're gonna be getting a lot of stuff that you're not sure what to do with.... Can't stress this one enough guys.... But items are the key to survival ranging from.... Healing items..... Ammo.... Lockpicks..... LSD...... Pictures of God knows what..... Maps,gears...... And even repair kits for broken weapons (LOCK AND LOAD YA DINKS) But you're going to be using everything you get to stay alive, since resources are in mega short supply..... So it should go without saying search...... You're gonna have to look through nook, crannies...... Lockers,Boxers...... Crates, Kegs..... Barrels.... CAROLS...... Trash bags, Body bags...... Chairs, Lairs...... High/Low UP, DOWN..... ALL AROUND.... WOMBO POMBO..... CHICKEN COMBO (9.99 plus shipping and handling) Because if you don't search around enough, eventually you're gonna get cornered by a boss while simultaneously peeing yourself and.... That knife ain't gonna save you...... *CRITICAL HIT* Some of the items you might come across are only meant to be combined with other items to create the stuff you kind of need...... Like mixing gunpowder and chemicals together gives you bullets...... and then mixing geebee weebees with chemicals gives you a tasty beverage that you dumb all over yourself to heal gaping holes on your body The wonders of Gatorade everyone :D Now the combining stuff is not exactly rocket surgery guys..... It's kind of hard to mess up..... But it is a priority to make healing items and ammo as much as possible... Because at the end of the day..... "Not being dead from not dying by making other things dead is the secret to winning" Buns 2018 Now a majority of the basic items you need will just be laying around without a care in the world....... But you're gonna have to work to get the real goods....... At some point of the game you're gonna come across Antique coins..... Some are just laying around and others are stubborn with an attitude problem..... But these coins are gonna be used to literally unlock new weapons and special items...... Like increased health, faster reload times, faster movement....... And funky-fresh acceleration!!! The point is always keep an eye out for these coins that beef yourself up because they can do nothing but benefit you........ ya know what? I got a great feeling about this : D Now getting items is pretty straightforward, but this is a Resident Evil game...... And you can't just be shoving shotguns up your butt, all the stuff has to go somewhere...... So welcome back to SBB's classic....... Now hilariously, the biggest and most difficult puzzle in this game is just managing your inventory.... Because your space be...... More than once will you be mocked and provoked by the 'not enough space' message when you try to strap a rocket launcher to your elbows..... I honestly think the game gets a kick out of it But this is where a lot of the games backtracking comes from....... In every area there are a handful of safe rooms with a nice fung shui.... Where you can save, get items and the most important thing........ Dump your crap! It is mega important you drop off stuff in the boxes all the time..... And to be switching out the key items you only need that moment to make space in your inventory to pick up more stuff..... Now if you do get desperate you can just straight up delete items from your inventory...... But I don't recommend that since items are mega scarce........ So I don't want to hear no moaning and groaning about going back to drop stuff off in the box! Now is the time to embrace the minimalistic lifestyle y'all because that extra space could save your life!! Real talk though you should only be carrying the pure essentials with you. Just guns..... Ammo... Healing items..... Maybe some chemicals or a lockpick...... And a fresh pair of underwear and that's it! Everything else is just pure poopoo garbage useless when you're on the move....... Now luckily the safe room boxes are connected to the same cosmic energy and anything you drop off in one will be in the others. So you don't have to worry about your stuff being separated....... The boxes are strong powerful beings that understand the need of keeping your items in the same place....... Such beautiful sentient creatures...... Anyway the main thing to take away from this is that your inventory management is just as important as staying alive because yes.... This can of hairspray will banish all the evil... In the name OF LORD OUR GOD!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!! Okay between you, me, and the NSA agent watching you right now Resident Evil 7's main game isn't all too terribly long And you can blow through the story a lot faster than you think but don't think that once you beat the game... That's all there is to see oh no no no....... Because Resident Evil 7 has collectables, unlockables, side content.... And a crap ton of replay value to stretch that playtime out as far as it'll go- *SNAP* ahhh it snapped! ah *beep* goddamnit *beep* coc- Now the first most basic collectible is actually something you can get on your first playthrough and those are the Mr. Everywhere Bobbleheads.... Throughout the area are little bobble heads hanging around in low key areas and all you gotta do is take them out..... before they take you out.... TRY ME BITCH But for reals, all you have to do is destroy all 20 of them in the game.... And you'll unlock some neato stuff in the next playthrough so keep your eyes peeled...... Or just look at the locations (Information down below).... Because even if you can't see them right away, they can still see you.... The rest of the major collectables like unique weapons infinite ammo or bold and brash fashion choices..... Can really only be accessed after completing the game or by beating it under 4 hours....... Or by completing the game on madhouse difficulty, aka...... I HATE MYSELF MODE You see where i'm going with this guys? You want all the goods? You're gonna be replaying this game a lot..... So buckle up strap the George Foreman grill to your face and melt your eyes out! Cuz we going to Flavortown at max speed!!! Now truth be told if you don't mind giving up some of that coin and self-respect.... You should really look into the optional DLC's.... Like the banned footage volumes that are a series of puzzles and mini-games with some story stuff sprinkled in with mind altering terrifying imagery..... That have scarred me for life. O_o Or once again, Not a hero, which gives you some extra closure to some characters.... Throwing this in here again, cuz you know it's f**king free!!!! And then there's the End of Zoe, a hefty story DLC, that answer some lingering questions after the main game... Feat. Hillbilly death punches to the swamp people God Bless America You kind of have a lot of options with how you want to expand their Resident Evil 7 experience..... But please know that this is a game design to be played more than once so take your time and have fun. You'll experience something new every playthrough.... Lord knows I did O_o And people may be getting shish kebabbed alive, but you know what? At the end of the day..... It's not about the destination, but the journey and the friends we made along the way Ok so here a bunch of tips and things you should know before you get started...... Some pictures you come across will reveal the location of treasures keep them in mind when you get time to explore and be thorough when investigating the area. If you're really desperate for health, you can just straight up eat herbs by themselves if you have nothing to mix them with for some baby health. But it's better to save them for mixing if you can. Always make sure to mix items and reload your weapons before going into new areas. So you're not frantically navigating your inventory while being attacked. Really try to save shotgun ammo for bosses because that's where they're most useful. The jerky enemies can straight up despawn if you run away or pass them far enough..... So if you're not really in a position to fight, just book it. But try not to get stuck into a hallway with them OK? OK! Don't forget to rotate items around, so you get all those angles so you don't miss anything important. The yellow pills help you see where items are for a limited time..... And I highly recommend saving them for bigger areas to maximize item collecting, so you can see all the things! The flamethrower is really only good for swarms of bugs, so try not to let it clutter your inventory when you're home free. If you notice the game is getting awfully generous with items right before entering a big room...... You're probably about to get slam jamed so be mindful of that.... Also note that boss areas normally have items laying around, so nab those goods while you can. Use the repair kit on the broken shotgun when you get it... *EXHIBIT A-Z* I don't think I really need to explain myself on this one...... If you are playing on normal mode the Magnum gun may look really enticing..... but it's supposed to save your coins for the performance upgrades above all else. I'm sorry Debra!!! I know the truth hurts :'( Around the halfway point of the game if the item crates start making ticking sounds you probably shouldn't hit them.... ETHAN YOU DROOLING GORILLA WHY ARE LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?!? The madhouse difficulty of the game makes the super hard and changes the item locations a ton..... So play with caution y'all. Just a little fYI everybody, Resident Evil 7's story isn't a total done deal... You got some room to shake stuff up a little bit near the end but word of caution with this..... Remember what you came here for and everything should be all good just God, what a power couple :D So while Resident Evil 7 wasn't seen as a total masterpiece by everyone..... The game did take a massive leap into a new direction to give the series a fresh breath of traumatizing air But the game still kept its Resident Evil identity, while reinforcing the idea that the titles are not bound to just one type of genre or design. But rather an ever adapting and evolving series that keep surprising people while sticking to the same goals...... To make you really want to invest into a power washer and clean out your shower But I hope this basics beginner's guide makes your gaming experience a little better :D So please rate comment and subscribe, and I hope you have a fantastic day.
