r/Entitledparents Karen Demands I Pay Child Support!

hey there Mr redder here welcome back to another episode of r slash entitled people stories today we have a very special episode for you a compilation of some of the best entitled people stories we've read over the past year so sit back relax and enjoy a few hours of the most entitled people you've ever heard of and by the way Karen assured me that for every thumbs up this video gets she won't try to get anyone fired for an entire week so please smash that like button and subscribe and turn on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day my Karen X demands I pay child support for a kid that's not even mine my sister is on her side some years ago I dated a girl the relationship was bad she was very controlling and she mistreated me it ended up really bad and we broke off I kept going on with my life and after some years I got a decent job enough to solve all of my needs have a comfortable life and make some savings the thing is a couple of months after getting my job my ex contacted me she first asked me to talk and I believe that she may want to reconnect or something but she showed up with a five-year-old claiming that he was my son and demanding that I pay child support I didn't believe her but the kids age matched the time that we could contact I got advice from a lawyer a friend of mine to try to solve this out of court I offered to take responsibility pay all of the costs and be an active part of the kid's life only after taking a DNA test everyone was okay with this except for my ex she acted offended and demanded to just give her the money that she deserved she used all the excuses she could she even contacted my family and told them I was trying to avoid taking responsibility of my kid when she ran out of excuses and the DNA test was finally done surprise surprise I'm not the father she was so mad with the result and she cried about the money saying it was unfair and she deserved it but she didn't accomplish anything moving on to the last week there was a little party at my parents house my brother a friend and I were talking and my brother started a joke about the situation with my ex my friend and I started to joke about it too some of our comments were a little dark and bad but we were far away from the rest of the people literally we were on the opposite side of the house and nobody else could hear us at least that's what we thought we were laughing like crazies when my sister appeared very angry and she pushed me against the wall she spied on us and heard our conversation and she was really mad she started to yell at us about how horrible people we were for making fun of a poor woman a few hours later when the party ended she asked me to go to the kitchen with our parents and she started to say how awful I was for the previous situation apparently my ex had been in contact with her and she believed her version and that was her way to have an intervention my brother and I were like are you serious when she started to say how I forced my ex into being a single mother and that I have the moral obligation to help her my dad only said that maybe we were being too cruel making jokes about her but that I wasn't responsible for her kid my mom then surprised all of us when she said even if the kid is not yours you are making more than enough money to support that kid you should have helped her since then I've been receiving texts my dad and my brother are on my side saying I'm not responsible for the kid but my sister is telling me how horrible I am for ruining their lives my mom only said it's your decision and I respect it I'm just very disappointed that you ended up being so selfish I'm aware that she doesn't deserve my money and I'm not planning to give her any but the constant harassment of my sister trying to guilt me is just exhausting tell your sister if she's so concerned she should give your ex money since she has as much to do with conceiving that baby as you did it's not just that but she also clearly cheated on him while they were together and then she tried to scam him into claiming that the child was his so she doesn't deserve a penny from him you're the jerk I know this opinion won't be popular but hear me out you're obviously a dude and you made it clear that you make a lot of money big surprise there with the pay Gap and whatnot guys can basically walk into anywhere and get hired on the spot with that in mind this is your ex she at some point meant something to you now she's asking you for help and you refuse to help even though you can't afford to you're no better than Elon Musk or Jeff bozos men with too much money and no desire to help others are not making the world a better place your sister is right that you are heartless this is why I never agreed to paternity tests I live a good life and have multiple sources of income through child support through multiple men and my unemployment due to my social anxiety is there a chance some of these men might not be the fathers sure but at the end of the day they are Manning up and helping provide for kids who need them I can't wait for paternity tests to be outlawed you mess around you will find out you want the reward of what we can offer but refuse used to support us when we need help this is why I don't feel bad about the 60k a year I bring in off guys like you somebody's got some issues well who do you think is the jerk op or his ex please let us know I think that last commenter is the biggest jerk of them all but that X is a close second why not go after the real baby daddy for child support am I the jerk for sending my son to school with less food and explicitly telling him not to share with his best friend the situation began a year ago and it blew up in our faces last week my son Gregory is 13 years old it just began the eighth grade his friend Peter is also 13 and he began the eighth grade also Gregory and Peter have been friends since elementary school last year I noticed that Gregory would be ravenously hungry after school every single day he would come home and eat a frozen dinner or something and then help himself the seconds at dinner time I chalk this up to him being a growing boy and I let it go something about the situation was nahinami though and while Gregory wasn't clear about why at first he eventually came clean Peter was being sent to school every day with no lunch it looks to me like a typical case of neglect and unfit parents the one time that Gregory went to their house he came home with comments about it smelling really bad and Peter's parents locking themselves in the garage for hours feeling bad for Peter I decided to discreetly begin giving Gregory more food each day just about doubling all of his food over time I became less discreet and began packing a separate lunch for Peter I was never thanked for this by anyone but I knew Peter was eating the food that I sent this year things are different money is tighter for personal reasons and frankly with how expensive things are I've decided not to spend exorbitant amounts of money supporting someone else's kid I set Gregory down and told him that I would be packing him one lunch which is for him and him alone I made it extremely clear do not share with anyone and this includes Peter Gregory followed my instruction until one day last week I got a phone call from Peter's mother she was livid that I had cut Peter off without a single word I asked her when it became my responsibility to feed her son and she responded that if she had known I wasn't sending Gregory to school with too much food she would have handled it herself I asked if she remembered why I began sending him to school with two lunches in the first place and she hung up on me I feel conflicted I know I'm having my kindness thrown back in my face but did I approach this situation incorrectly I'm thinking you're about 50 50 here it's understandable that you can't take on the burden of feeding Peter but you didn't mention that you contacted anyone at the school and made them aware of the situation they have people who deal with this type of stuff that's the part of you that is the jerk I was thinking you're the jerk for not having reported this to the authorities already but the school administration would be a good plan too especially when op's son said that the friend's parents locked themselves in the garage for hours this is backwards where's the blame on Peter's actual mom or the school counselors how is this somehow only op's problem this sub is a mess blaming op when she's the only one who stepped up no good deed goes unrewarded I hate to say you're the jerk in this situation but you are not for how you handled the mother but because as far as Peter himself knows you did cut him off without a word he's the only one who suffered here and while you're correct that it's not technically your responsibility and your family absolutely needs to come first in terms of tighter finances for any reason yes you did handle this incorrectly everyone sucks here except the kids kids going hungry is everyone's business and he was relying on you you make no mention of trying to contact anyone about this or trying to find another solution you just cut off his access to food if you can't afford it or don't want to feed this kid that's your prerogative but then you need to reach out to those who can you talk to the school district you talk to the PTA you talk to whoever you need to you don't just turn a blind eye to a kid going hungry and say not my kid not my problem for all you know that lunch was the only meal he was getting every day why didn't you reach out to his parents ever this is your son's best friend and it sounds like you don't know them or have any idea what their home life is like at all why didn't you reach out to the school to see what low income support they might have to make sure that this kid didn't go hungry I'm really disheartened to see how many people here have said not the jerk and that it isn't your problem you haven't made any effort to see if this kid is neglected or if the family is just extremely poor you're not the jerk for not being able to afford to feed a kid that's not yours but you are the jerk for washing your hands of the situation completely and making your kid cruelly withhold food from his best friend well what do you think is Opie a jerk for how they handled this or not please let us know no good deed goes unpunished always remember that you need to see my father in person zavara the great Mystic of the Beyond shall Grant your request my father passed 20 years ago and left me a tiny cabin house he loved that place built it himself intended to it religiously after he passed I couldn't find it in my heart to visit because every Rock On The Wall every flower reminded me of him my mother never cared for it even when my dad was alive so within a few months I realized that it would be a while before either of us would be ready to spend time there again as such we called up the electricity telephone and water companies to shut off services to the cabin until further notice while other companies complied without an issue the water company decided this request could only be made by the person whose name was on the bill mind you their fee due to zoning and Well on our property was less than two Euros per month repeatedly faxing the death certificate as well as next of kin transfer of the title got us nowhere dozens of calls per month several emails in-person applications smoke signals interpretive dances telepathy Etc nothing made any difference both me and my mother were entirely flabbergasted so we asked around and found out that indeed the process was unsolvable and albeit not technically legal people stopped paying those fees and the water would get shut off anyway as a result getting any lawyers involved would not be worth the money so we did just that discontinued the connected bank account and never gave it another thought two weeks ago while at my family house I got a call from the water company they were closing inactive Accounts at the 20-year Mark and my father's cabin was up they did however tell me that one there was a pending sum of 1193 to be paid for closing the account and two the account owner themselves had to make the application to close the account once again I mentioned the whole you know he's dead and was passed over to a supervisor but in a reminiscing demonstration of absolute absent-mindedness and stupidity the response I got was Unfortunately they have to show up in person as we need a paper copy for accounts older than this many years otherwise we can't proceed now I don't know how widely common this is but in my country you rent the burial site in three to five year increments my father's Graves 20 years were up in August and my mother decided it was time to unearth his bones and surrender the sight as such we had just been delivered a very respectful package with my father's remains cleaned and curated only that week everyone that has ever gone through this process would recognize that box for what it was and what it was was great timing two days later I went to the Water Company's local office I wore my most purple silky goth outfit dark makeup and oh so Heathen jewelry and carried a large bag with me I asked to speak to the same supervisor who luckily for me was in an open space area with their team's director and quite a few more desks confirming with her why I was there she started telling me the whole he needs to be here in person thing again but I interrupted and told her I knew what you would say so I brought him with me so he can tell you himself I plopped a Ouija board on the box with my father's remains on the desk and now they shushed the area heads turned her director looked up with a what expression and the supervisor herself was frozen and wide-eyed I placed my hands on the Ouija board and just started loudly asking my father's Spirit to communicate with me showing me a sign he was there with us reach out to me from the grave everyone was silent people walking by the door stopped and stared I threw a few Papa can you hear me in there as well for dramatic effect and comedic timing that happens only once in a lifetime I think a pen or something small fell down from someone's desk behind me which against the silence was quite startling excitedly I moved my hand to yes and proclaimed I needed his help in the form of his signature from the beyond in order to close the account finally the director snapped out of it and came over with an alright I can help you over here I think this is enough but no it wasn't I started Gathering my things as I laid into him how asking to speak in person with an indisputably dead man of over 20 years was beyond stupid and if I had to put up with their idiocy they had to put up with the process required to get a hold of him I also mentioned that denying someone's legal title claim was lawsuit worthy so he immediately changed his tune but I could of course close the account he tried to bring up the fee but I cut him off with a don't even think about it and I walked out still early but so far there has been radio silence my mother thanked me for handling it but when I suggested she should write to someone higher up about this she just said not worth it it's over now what a missed opportunity for a water under the bridge comment am I the jerk for telling my ex-best friend that he caused his own divorce I 25 female recently got into an argument with my now ex-best friend let's just call him Ben 30 male who ended up divorced after he messed up his marriage and I didn't support him as a friend should basically he made his wife let's call her Gwen 27 female who I'm also friends with go into an open relationship with him I warned Ben that this wasn't going to end the way he wanted it to I had to comfort her about this because I'll be honest I love her but she tends to let people walk all over her I helped her through it and convinced her to just take advantage of the situation because she was going to find someone better and my idiot best friend would try and close it the moment she realized her Worth to trust me he just wanted to cheat well six months later Ben comes complaining that his wife won't close the relationship and has been seen this guy Martin for four months and how he stopped seeing other women and has tried to give her more attention so she'll dump Martin but she won't and asked me if I could talk some sense into her so that he could close their relationship I just dead panned looked at him and said he was an idiot who wanted his cake and to eat it too and now he had to face the consequences of his actions and I warned him that this would happen he called me a jerk and he left well it's been three months and Gwen filed for divorce they don't have kids and they had a prenup so it went easy Ben was complaining to me again and I told him he now has what he wanted the freedom to mess around he got mad at me for rubbing the divorce in his face and told me not to contact him and that all of us women are alike I myself don't see myself as the jerk but some of our friends are saying I shouldn't be rubbing it in his face and being so smug about it so am I the jerk for telling him the truth about how this was going to end I believe that Ben has experienced the literal definition of mess around and find out not the jerk not the jerk you warned him and he didn't listen Open relationships can work if you're doing it for the right reasons Ben just wanted to hook up with whoever he wanted but then instantly changed his mind when she started doing the same thing Ben has no reason to be mad here well who do you think is the jerk Opie or Ben please let us know am I the jerk for making my wife cry on her birthday last night I was playing with a band at our local bar my wife came in and immediately latched on to a band member's wife in the corner of the bar and spent two plus hours not leaving the area she's maybe met the band member's wife one time maybe 20 feet away was a group of our friends she says they are my friends and her acquaintances she would not leave the corner of the bar and waved hello to them it was not a crowded bar during a break I asked her if she would go and say hello to our friends she told me that she waved I again said it would be great if you said hello to them considering they came out to support the band a little backstory these same friends invited us to their house two weeks ago and we spent hours at their house hanging out after the gig I guess I was visibly annoyed but I didn't want to say anything because our birthday is today when we got home she pressed me on it and I told her I felt it was pretty rude to not have the courtesy to say hello to our friends she challenged me saying why does she have to go and say hi instead of them coming up to her well they were already there sitting at a table and it was a group of people it made me very uncomfortable how cold it felt that she couldn't take one minute to go and say hello and seemingly hid in the corner on purpose was someone who was a relative stranger now it's her birthday and she's crying saying I was very rude I don't believe I was rude at all and just told her on her request how I was feeling I'm ready for your judgment am I the jerk you're the jerk she waved and was hanging out with someone she considered her friend this was also her birthday and it was nice of her to spend that time supporting you this is the case of making a big deal out of nothing just let it go it would make me so nervous to have my social interactions monitored and policed like this Opie are you always watching her this closely it's super weird even the language is weird his wife latched on and hid Etc creepy and controlling Opie you're the jerk even if she hid that's her option it sounds like he expects her to act as a promoter to the band be the social director to the fans and encourage people to come watch them with her as an attraction he sounds like a grade a user she spends her birthday coming out to watch your band and you get upset with her for not interacting with certain people exactly like you wanted to yeah you're the jerk if you're even going to have this stupid conversation maybe ask why she preferred your band member's wife's company over theirs or why she views them as more your friends than hers you're the jerk old musician chiming in your wife is not a member of the band it's not her responsibility to come to your gigs it's not her responsibility to go thank other people for coming to your gigs if you want to thank someone for coming you go thank them yourself because if you want your wife to be your PR person and glad hand everyone in the bar then you need to start giving her an equal cut of the gig money and tips well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his wife please let us know she came out to your gig she waved at them she hung out with someone she liked stop overthinking this bruh Just Let It Go am I the jerk for moving my money to a different account after my stepmother threatened me with taking it from me I'm 15 female stepmother and I obviously don't get along she's been my stepmother for one and a half years now the money that I have was in a joint account me and my dad but stepmother had access to the debit card and pin number I earned this money Myself by selling handcrafted items I broke curfew a few days ago and she suggested that she's considering whether to take 20 of my money out of the account as a fine for punishment and every time this happens she will take 20 percent more until nothing is left I was very upset about her threat and decided that I should move my money before she takes it away I logged in online and I transferred all of it to my Big Brother's account that night and the next day we went to open a joint bank account with my brother and we moved the money there so she doesn't have access to it anymore so upon learning what happened my dad and stepmom were furious at me and at my brother stepmom is focused on the fact that I've taken away her means of punishment and my dad is upset that I didn't trust him enough to protect my money he insists he wouldn't have allowed her to do this stepmom has banned me from seeing my brother it's meaningless I don't accept her authority to do this and my dad said he's hurt that I didn't trust him and as a result he doesn't trust me either am I the jerk for moving my money honestly I completely agree with your actions here your stepmother threatened to steal your money from you so you moved to protect it first as to why you didn't trust your dad well why did she have access to the debit card and pin for an account that wasn't hers not the jerk this is so important your dad broke your trust first by giving your stepmother access to the debit card and pin entitled woman tries and fails to take my job so I'm an instructor at a small College I teach artsy vocational classes and only have an MFA and my school really favors more academic phds this was all told to me when I was hired but the dean at the time was incredibly kind about this and gave me a secret boost in pay to make up for the lack of favor she told me that even though I would never be promoted my area of expertise was valued and as long as I stayed in my Lane I was very welcome so before I ever got tenure I worked for a few years and developed a slate of very popular classes that filled every semester I was very happy and grateful to have the job titles mean nothing to me and I was just happy to be successful at a job I loved that helped people I also learned very quickly never to step on the toes of more senior faculty I stayed in my lane then a woman was hired in another subgroup of my department I never met her nor was I involved in her hiring she had nothing to do with me but she does have a PhD then before I ever met her I saw on her social media that she announced she would soon be teaching all my classes and she was delighted to be doing that I was shocked because I went through a rigorous hiring process and I am exceptionally qualified to teach in my area she has no Publications in my area and her degrees are only vaguely related to my area I figured my chair would put her in her place but I was wrong instead I was called into the chair's office and told entitled woman is very interested in what you do and wants to help you I stared my chair down Karen has a degree in X and she was hired to do why that doesn't have anything to do with me chair size her degree is multi-disciplinary and she is more than qualified this shocked me because it was way out of protocol there was a pecking order one that I had followed I also realized very quickly that if I gave in I would have no job I would be shunted off to teach stuff I wasn't qualified to teach this gave me the courage to resist and resist I did multiple meetings with my cheer followed in which I was painted as difficult and unsupportive honestly if this woman had one shred of business teaching in my area I probably would have succumbed to the pressure but she was not qualified either by degree experience or Publications that made me mad meanwhile an older colleague who had been terrible to me and made me cry a few times pulled me aside one day apparently she had grown to respect that I wasn't letting the chair bully me she told me to never verbalize permission for entitled woman to take over any of my classes apparently the rules of the school were and are that I was the one who decided who could sub for me or take over for me so I held firm I was bullied over and over again one time my chair very nearly physically threatened me and said why can't you just say it chair had no idea I had been tipped off why I needed to say it I was told by another colleague that entitled woman is bored with her area and doesn't like what she got a degree in and she only did that area because it's easier to get hired I said her life choices weren't my problem and I stood for him my chair threatened not to support my tenure but I actually had a bulletproof application chair couldn't do anything shunned by many colleagues some of whom I thought were my friends I was called angry and unreasonable on a good day and a jerk on the worst one day the sweet dear lady who had been responsible for hiring entitled woman actually cried in apology saying she was sickened by what was happening to me entitled woman had been their last choice and the only person that they could get this sweet lovely woman wailed that entitled woman was obnoxious and terrible she also said that many people in the department supported me but were scared of the chair she said I should just keep resisting at least twice I was at school events and when I told the person both times high up administrators what I did or taught they said Oh I thought entitled woman did that I had to correct them so I got tenure and I stood firm meanwhile a former student who was now teaching at a community college nearby told me entitled woman was teaching there he provided me with her bio from their website her listed credentials were my credentials luckily that didn't last long she didn't have the expertise so I guess the gig just fizzled one thing I never did was meet with entitled woman I was asked to so we could hash things out and I said repeatedly that there was nothing to Hash I was happy in my job and my job wasn't her job I was always polite and professional if I had to deal with her but I always avoided any potential traps they wanted my verbal permission I would not give it finally the chair stepped down the next chair initially sided with the majority because he didn't know me very well but then he got to know me and he was fair eventually entitled women stopped trying to do my job she pushed her way into another area and now she steers clear of mine it really did take about 10 years to wear her down so there was no real dramatic ending I just held firm and eventually she gave up the reason I'm sharing is recently another colleague told me that he always thought entitled woman and chair were having an affair and this is why everything happened maybe I'm naive but the thought never even crossed my mind plus entitled woman is actually not attractive at all so I couldn't picture it anyways over the years whenever entitled woman has done anything terrible or stupid my colleagues will always share it with me still I actually have little ill will left for her I won most of the battles and the war and that's good enough I still love my job and my students and I'm glad I fought for it they say Academia is like Game of Thrones without the violence there I think guy unloads his card on a closed Lane and is confused I'm not helping him this happened just earlier today I work multiple jobs and all my free time from my main job I deliver for shift now shipt has a uniform for their drivers but they don't require us to wear them so note I'm wearing my rainbow stripe tank top blue jean shorts and flip-flops I just finished shopping for a customer at Target and it just processed the order Target is nice enough to have a stand with lots of bags for shipped drivers to bag their ordered groceries and this particular Target it was a closed register Lane as I'm bagging my order in a lane with a sign on the conveyor belt that says closed a guy starts to unload his card onto the unmoving build I Look to Him with confusion and he's giving me the same look I'm wondering why he placed his stuff on a clearly closed build and he's wondering why I'm not scanning his stuff I mean I get it I clearly looked like a Target employee with my red shirt rainbow striped nice long brown pants blue jean shorts and closed toe work shoes flip-flops he then speaks up saying aren't you gonna scan my stuff I confused say dude this register is closed and I don't work here I can see the gears turning in his head as he finally notices the close sign and my clearly not Target outfit he says nothing as he reloads his cart and goes to an actually open register I chuckled as I left the store I mean I get it on autopilot you see a person's presence behind a register and assume that you can go there without actually looking at the details of your surroundings it was still pretty funny I'm technically on the clock just not for here I had a run-in with a Karen before lockdown that thought I was an employee of a sandwich shop while I was waiting in line for context I worked going door to door for a utility company at the time with a team of five we all dressed the same in black with our company logos and in bad weather we have very warm matching raincoats also with a logo we also have badges with our names on them and the company's info so people know we aren't random grifters on this particular day in my area there was a downpour so bad that it was one of only two times in four years that our leadership decided to pull us out of the field as this is rare we don't really have a protocol in place and we get told to hunker down nearby with the company van to see if it gets better before they send us home for the day or back out due to this we decided to check out a small sandwich shop one of the guys swears is the best in the area all of us being wet and hungry thinks that this sounds great and we head right on over to get some food while still on the clock and getting paid till we hear back place is small but it looks decent also part convenience store they don't have a counter you order at but an employee that walks around and takes orders and with someone already talking to him I know it's going to be a minute until all five of us get our orders in so I elect to go last and check around the store as I'm in no hurry after looking around I see my co-workers have all their orders in so I go up to do mine due to this my order is done last and has a bit of a delay my four co-workers are all sitting down and starting to eat at this point while I wait for my sandwich when an older lady walks up to me and starts saying a sandwich order without as much as a hello I cut her off to say oh I don't work here to which I get the confusing reply so you're working you just don't work here uh-huh sure and an eye roll followed by her starting her order again I respond by simply putting my hand up to cut her off point to the logo on my jacket which is still soaked by the way and ask does this look like the name of the store to you I don't remember if she said anything back but my order got announced at this point so I stepped away grab my sandwich and smiled at her as I walked by her again to sit with the four people dressed identically to me that were already eating and dig in now you'd think that this would be the end of it with me just eating my sandwich while basking in Karen's indignation but no she stomped off and finds the proper person to speak with drags him back into view and start is complaining about me to him while he desperately tries to explain that I don't work there by the time we finished eating and we're leaving I still don't think she had placed an order my Karen X is demanding my Disney plus password I know my ex-wife has been using my Netflix account for many years I didn't really mind I'm now remarried we have a kid and I live far away I basically have no contact with my ex though I still do regularly stay in touch with several of her siblings and her father when I signed up for Hulu and Disney plus I reused my Netflix password turns out my ex was using those Services as well I signed up to those after we were divorced I Got a notification that another password was breached and decided to begin using a password manager to make new passwords for everything I'm also turning on two-factor authentication anywhere I can my ex just texted me and asked for the new password her kid from her subsequent marriage really wants to watch something on Disney tonight I've not responded but my plan is to say no I'm certain she'll make a production of this and complain to her family members and our mutual friends about how I'm somehow in the wrong but I don't really care anymore I'm not being a jerk though am I she's a grown adult she can sign up for her own account you're the jerk it's a darn streaming service just share the password and get off your high horse you obviously have the money to pay for it and maybe she doesn't have you even considered that this is also a way to stick it to these big corporations you literally have the chance to get back at these greedy clowns but because you can't get over your feelings for your ex you choose to be bitter about something that happened years ago if I were you I'd call her up and apologize for how selfish you've been I'll never understand how men like you can be so greedy you remind me of my sorry excuse of a father I had growing up he wouldn't share anything with anyone his snacks pops magazines stamps we weren't allowed to touch any of his stuff long story short once my father was so old he couldn't take care of himself any longer he got into a low-income assisted living facility we finally had the chance to take all of his stuff that we always wanted I even live in the old man's house now and once he bites the dust it will be put in my name whether he likes it or not power of attorney is all that matters and that belongs to my big brother sorry dad looks like we got the last laugh I even burned his entire stamp collection in the backyard and I sent him a video of it haven't seen the old geezer smile sense congrats you have more issues than Windows 10. well what do you think should op give his new password to his ex or not please let us know never share your passwords with anyone especially your ex am I the jerk for stealing a name from my sister to use for my baby I 25 female had a couple names picked out since I found out I was pregnant Mindy if it's a girl and Derek if it's a boy however in my last few weeks of pregnancy I added another name to the list for a boy Morgan my sister who's 28 and I have had a close relationship for a long time so I let her know that I had another name I was considering for a boy and when I told her she was shocked saying that Morgan is the name she wanted if she ever got pregnant with a boy she has fertility issues so it would be a while before she got pregnant if at all she pleaded with me to not use that name because it was a family name on her husband's side of the family and asked me to use the name I had originally chosen for a boy and I told her that because she's not pregnant and might not be able to even have kids then it wouldn't matter if I chose that name or not and she got upset by this a few weeks passed and I was past my due date so I was scheduled for a C-section in a few days after I told her this she again asked me to please not use that name and I told her that I wasn't sure what name I was going to pick yet but my husband and I had already decided we would be using that name after I gave birth my husband and I named our son Morgan but I didn't tell my sister because I knew she would get upset this was my baby and I shouldn't have to give up the name I want for the slight chance she could maybe one day get pregnant she messaged me to congratulate me on the delivery and asked what the name was I told her we still hadn't decided what name so I could avoid drama as I had just given birth my mom called her the next day to tell her about the baby and mentioned the name to her before I could tell her and of course she got upset she messaged me asking why I didn't tell her that we chose that name and why did she have to find out her mom I told her that it was what my husband and I decided and it has nothing to do with her so I didn't see the point in telling her when I knew what her reaction would be her husband was devastated and so was she and now we barely talk at least not like we used to I told her she needs to get over it because I was the one who was pregnant not her she's being really immature about it by not talking to me and getting this upset over a name I our relationship isn't the same now and she says it's my fault so am I the jerk edit to answer some questions I only found out that it was a family name after my husband and I had decided on it I wasn't trying to throw her infertility in her face I was just trying to get her to be reasonable and see that I'm the one who was pregnant at that time so she shouldn't get a say on what I do or don't name my baby I didn't choose the name to hurt her or to be spiteful I just really like the name she still talks to me because we are family she was my maid of honor after all of this happened so I think she's moved past it or at the very least she doesn't bring it up anymore she doesn't seem very attached to my son but she's very involved with my other sister's kids which hurts but is ultimately her choice whether or not she wants a good relationship with my son or not I don't think that's up to me at all also I won't be changing his name and I don't think I should have to she's decided not to name any potential kids she has Morgan because it doesn't sit right with her to use the name after I did and I think it would be weird to have two kids with the same name so I agree with her on that but she won't tell anyone the new names that she has picked now anyway you're the jerk this line makes you the jerk I told her that because she's not pregnant and might not be able to have kids that it wouldn't matter if I chose that name or not it begs the question did you choose the name Morgan to rub your sister's infertility in her face summed up my thoughts perfectly using the name was also a bit iffy given the sister's explanation but possibly forgivable on its own then add in all the other details and it's clear that op is the jerk yeah I don't think picking that name makes Opie The Jerk It's everything else in this post from the lack of empathy to the way that it was handled there's something just evil about the Way It Was Written too just so Insidious and matter-of-factly without a care in the world or any kind of concern or kindness or empathy it is pretty horrifying I couldn't do this to my high school bully let alone my sister you're the jerk if you were as close to your sister as you claim you'd understand that this name was important to her and her husband you're also throwing her infertility in her face and acting like the chance of her having kids are slim to none she could adopt the baby too and name that kid as well that's crappy the state of their relationship is your fault normally I'm all for people naming their kid what they want to but it sounds like you're purposely adding salt to the wound well who do you think is the jerk Opie or her sister please let us know if the story had been written a little differently they would all be siding with OP saying that her sister has no right to decide what she names her own kid I made my parents homeless for getting rid of my dog I female 27 lived with my parents until last week I have a dog that I love she's been my best friend since I graduated University I'm not very social and I prefer her company to most people I know I have had boyfriends and even a short relationship that ended amicably I'm just not really interested in much beyond my work and my dog my parents think that this is a shortcoming but I do not my brother also lives with us he's in high school and he doesn't pay rent I pay about 50 percent of everything in the house including groceries it's about the same as rent would cost and I get the basement Suite it isn't a legal Suite in the sense that it could be rented but it is fine for a family member it's because of building codes and stuff it would cost a bunch of money to make it suitable for a rent her so my mom decided that the reason I'm not actively looking for a husband is because my dog takes too much of my attention my pup has some health problems but nothing I can't afford and nothing that affects her quality of life so my mom gave her away while I was at work I came home and she was gone along with all of her stuff her toys her leash everything I lost it on my mom I told her that if she didn't tell me where my dog was I was calling the cops and saying that they had stolen my dog and having her charged I went to the place where my dog was and I got my dog back I then went back to my parents house and packed all of my stuff that was important to me and went to a friend's house my dad has been calling and texting me asking about money for October I told him he should have thought about that when he allowed a crazy person to steal from me since my dad lost his job because of the current world disease they cannot afford all of the household bills without my help my dad says that they will be out of money in three months without me I don't trust them anymore my family thinks I'm a jerk for caring more about my dog than I do about them to answer some questions I know that will come up yes I am on the Spectrum I may also lean towards Ace even though I have enjoyed things with guys before am I the jerk not the jerk they can move into the basement and rent out the room upstairs op nice I will suggest that to my father it's important for you to understand that you are not here to negotiate with them this isn't you trying to get their approval to get out you're already out they're not your responsibility your tone should convey this clearly you are the wronged party you stole from me it isn't my job to figure out your problems that you create you can try to get a roommate or rent out the basement but this is your mess and you two are old enough to solve your own problems you're lucky that I haven't pressed charges if you continue to harass me continue to behave poorly that will change I have no problem with letting law enforcement decide who's right and who's a criminal any more missing property of mine will be met with additional charges if you have a lawyer friend maybe have them type up a formal sounding letter if they don't stop also get some friends to go with you to move your stuff out warn your brother of them possibly trying to guilt him for rent steal his future income or using credit cards in his name to pay off their financial obligations and messing up his credit score make sure he secures his social and all relevant future financial documents and accounts as should you and by the jerk for refusing my co-worker's apology and being nasty back I have ADHD and autism I've been with my job for 12 years in July of 2021 the company hired four new people Tom Jamie Alana and Deanna fake names to make the team that I work on unfortunately none of the new people on my team are very nice to me because I'm odd the only person who is Ever kind to me is the new manager of our team the new people started holding potluck meals the first time I found out after the fact while they were eating without me I asked them to let me know next time and I would bake something the second time it happened they said it was an oversight oops by the third time I got the hint I wasn't welcome I was hurt but I let it go and I just did my job our new manager asked why never participate in the team potluck I told her the truth I'm never invited but she swore that Alana texted me I told her that none of them had ever contacted me except for Essentials by email only and they make a point to avoid me when my manager confronted the group they lied and swore they had asked me but were unable to produce the promised text my manager and boss decided to no longer permit potlucks on company property the next day they cornered me in the break room when I went to eat lunch and began to shout at me for ruining their lunches I ended up having a meltdown I told them I didn't ask our manager to do anything about it that our manager said they called it a team lunch that I was part of the team too and she was bothered that I was excluded and took it upon herself to do something about it I said that I knew I was weird and that was why they didn't like me I told them that I'm doing my best I can to fit in but I'm not stupid I know I'm always being left out on purpose and lied to and about and that it hurts to never feel like I fit in No Matter What by the end I was sobbing myself sick and my mom had to come pick me up early because I was panicking so badly I found out later my co-workers were put on administrative leave without pay and forced to go to sensitivity training before they could come back to work a few days later Tom approached me to apologize and said his nephew was autistic too and he should have realized and done better I asked him if someone treated your nephew the way you treated me for over a year and only apologized after getting caught and punished for it what would you tell your nephew to do would you tell him to accept that apology he quietly admitted that he wouldn't that he'd tell his nephew to tell them to go buzz off I told him to go tell himself that get back to work and leave me alone no one else even tried after that my manager is now saying I overreacted and I should just accept the apology and give them another chance to keep the peace my job coach says I should apologize too but I really don't want to I'm am I the jerk a year and your manager is saying you're overreacting they're under reacting sensitivity training isn't enough your co-workers did this with intent for over a year and then had the audacity to shout at you when their crappy Behavior was called out my own anger at your treatment aside I would accept the apology in time I do think that what you said to Tom was perfect you are 100 not the jerk exactly op didn't reject the apology directly just put a mirror up to it let them invite op out the next time and show that they mean it with kindness instead not the Jericho P tell them it's not that you're rejecting Tom's apology you just prefer to see it in changed behavior before you can accept it wholeheartedly your company can accept that as both professional and reasonable as well as your colleagues you don't owe anyone an apology never not for this and please note that others didn't bother don't assume it's because of what Tom said why are they even talking about it they should each approach you anyway and apologize you have the right to respond and they the duty to at least hear it I'm so sorry you went through that Kudos on your resilience and standing up for yourself I hope you see it now too it wasn't just a meltdown fingers crossed they change accepting an apology is a personal choice not something that should be subject to a superior's order for that alone I have to say not the jerk I think you need to ask yourself if Tom's apology was sincere and if it would benefit you to offer forgiveness forgiveness is not for him it's for you when you've thought about it do what feels right to you based on what you've written none of the other three people have apologized so there's nothing to accept I'm not sure what you would be apologizing for if you don't have Dijon I'm not paying so this is from a few years ago I worked in a chain Pub slash restaurant fairly cheap but we did pretty good roast dinners on a Sunday so we would normally be full on the day this happened we had been stacked as in no table left empty for more than two minutes all day it's about 8 20 pm and we close at 9 on a Sunday a couple walks in and the guy demands the nicest table we have with his first words to me which I take as an odd start but oh well I sit them in a fairly private corner of the restaurant we are only now starting to have a few Empty Tables so they can have a table for four which I consider nice I take their drink orders and I come back to take their food order like 95 percent of our customers on a Sunday they then order roast dinners he gets the beef she gets the lamb he then asks if we cook to order obviously trying to sound like he knows what he's talking about to which I say no the roasts are not as you can't really roast meat to order he finished his ordering by saying well it better be hot someone else took their food out but I go to do the check back and ask if everything is okay with their meal after a few minutes he then goes no my meal didn't come with any sauce to which I reply I'm sorry what kind of sauce would you like sir he had gravy and I know this server would have asked if they wanted any sauce when they brought out his meal he goes mustard Dijon mustard like he's James Bond I go on the hunt for some as I say it had been a busy day and we had run out our main food order with all the sauces Etc came on the Monday and frankly it's not something many people ordered normally so we didn't have a massive stock I go back and I tell him me I'm very sorry sir it appears that we've run out it's been a very busy day him what do you mean you've run out I want Dijon mustard me like I said sir we've been very busy and it's late in the service unfortunately we've run out rubbish go and buy some then me sorry sir it's a Sunday and the shops will be shut by now him the classic I want to see the manager I go and get the manager she introduces herself and tries to calm him down by this point it's 8 40. we're closing in 20 minutes and the place is emptying out she tries offering him any other sauces to which he says no Then he literally bellowed the line if you don't have Dijon I am not pain making people all over the restaurant look around my manager my think had decided what's the point to argue so much and said fine then walked away he looked crestfallen like he had won the argument I carry on working as they both grumply eat everything on their plates by the time they're finished it's 8 50. so I hurry over and ask if they would like dessert or any final drinks to which to my relief they say no I therefore fetch their bill which has their drinks and her meal on it but not his as I said it's a fairly cheap restaurant so not too much he looks at me as I put it down him what's that me the bill sir him I said I'm not paying me yes sir we've taken off your meal this is just for your drinks and your wife's meal him no I'm not paying for any of it me sir we've given you your meal for free you've not said there was any issue with anything else him the manager go get her at this point it's basically empty and so the manager has been listening in and come straight over she explains we can't just give them a whole free meal and that they both ate their meals anyway he looks shocked by this and stands up my manager and I look at each other and we both let him storm out frankly it's a chain restaurant one of hundreds of customers we've had that day and neither of us think trying to stop him is worth the effort his wife hurries out after him as she does she clearly realizes how ridiculous he's being as she takes some cash out of her purse and leaves it behind they both leave and my manager just looks shocked turns out she had left more than enough to cover the bill even with his meal included so I made a fairly good tip off of them he also in his anger left his scarf behind which after leaving it in the Lost Property for long enough he had the opportunity to come collected I took home as a kind of trophy it's very nice probably cost him more than the whole meal am I the jerk for refusing to do little chores and errands every time I declare I'm going somewhere so I've been married for four years things are generally great couple kids got a house work stable blah blah blah but my wife has started to do this thing in the last couple of years which I'm starting to find really really irritating whenever I announce I'm going somewhere my wife will almost invariably find me a task or a small errand while I'm out it's often fairly reasonable small stuff that doesn't necessitate me going well out of my way and often it's tough for the house sometimes it's not though and is a complete pain really ruining my initial Excursion some examples me I'm just going to town her oh great can you pick up a chicken while you're there me I'm gonna take the dog for a walk her oh well can you pop into my parents on the way back and check if they me I'll take the kids to Nursery today her make sure you pick up my parcel on the way back me I'm going to take the car to the the garage her swing by The Decorator shop and see if the new paint is in stock anyway this has got to the point where I don't even want to announce if I'm going anywhere it kind of feels like the control I had over making the decisions to go out and the flexibility that trip may have given me has been snatched away sometimes I just want to go out do my thing and come back no errands no jobs just my thing from start to finish yes it has caused arguments I initially tried pointing out the problem but that didn't work so of course things escalated to a role but she still does it saying that it's not unreasonable for me to contribute to the running of the household whenever I can I'm not a lazy dad or husband and I think I really do my fair share with the house and family but I now resent this am I the jerk you're the jerk there's nothing wrong with occasionally saying you know what hon I really just wanted to enjoy a walk with the dog and not do something extra I'd rather not pop into your parents this time but what you don't seem to be considering is that every single little chore and Aaron that you refuse to do on these occasions is something that she then does have to do they don't magically get done by the chore fairy when you refuse she's the one who's picking up your slack so when you claim that you really do your fair share but then resent her even asking you to just do an occasional extra small thing here or there that she has to do if you don't and I'm assuming that there are plenty of chores on top of these that she's not even bothering to ask you about because they're not on your way or near where you're going and require her to actually just go out and do them yeah no you're wrong and you're the jerk not to mention that she's already shouldering the mental load of managing these extra chores that need to be done since he seems to be totally unaware they exist you're the jerk you're the jerk if you think these errands which are part of everyday life things that need to be done to have your family's lives run better should all be her responsibility wow you sure are not in the running for husband or father of the week not the jerk imagine if the roles were flipped and he was constantly telling her to do things she didn't want to you Hypocrites would be saying how demanding and controlling he is and that she should divorce him but as usual when the wife is the one pulling this kind of crap you all just make excuses for her I swear it's like you read it people want all women to either be single and miserable like most of you are or to be with a guy who's a complete pushover and lets her walk all over him and boss him around my wife is upset that I didn't help with the dishes when I got home after my 10 hour work day so she kicked me out of our bedroom and now I'm sleeping on the couch the modern day man just just sad well what do you think is Opie the jerk or not please let us know maybe the op from the other day with the man cave will let you come hang out with him for a while am I the jerk for being mad my husband ate without me my husband took me out to a birthday dinner my birthday while we were waiting on the food I saw an old co-worker and told my husband I wanted to go speak with them for a moment while talking I kept looking back towards our table to see if our food was out and to check on my husband no food that I could tell I'm super nearsighted and he seemed to be reading something on his phone I wrapped up the conversation may have been 10 to 15 minutes only to come back to him finishing his food I asked if he was done already why didn't he let me know the food was out Etc and he started saying he had small portions didn't think it was a big deal didn't want to interrupt my conversation Etc I asked why didn't he motion towards me or something he said he didn't think it would be a big deal for him to just eat now I understand what some may think about me walking over to speak to the former worker it was a quick 10 to 15 minute conversation and moving on I even asked him if he minded if I went over and spoke to them for a few minutes because I hadn't seen them in quite some time they are older this wasn't a super fancy sit-down restaurant either our budget was tight so we went to Cracker Barrel I feel like he could have at least let me know the food was out or something a little more context we'd been married 16 years we have two teens Etc nothing like this has ever happened before you're the jerk walking away for 15 minutes when you had food ordered and were supposed to be celebrating with your husband is way more rude than your husband eating his food while it was hot and fresh you should be apologetic not indignant well who do you think is the jerk Opie or her husband please let us know Pro tip while on a dinner date give your undivided attention to whoever you're with that's what I'd do if Reddit boy ever took me out to eat but he never does he never will you got that right Force the student to do your job for you enjoy losing your whole career I work in a healthcare facility with different disciplines and we have the main clinicians and assistants as well that do treatments for the longest time before lockdown clinicians would take students from schools because they need to have some hand on experience before they graduate and get to take their state exams the players of this are we've got me op we've got Dory the clinician teacher we've got Hannah the student we've got Casey another clinician and we've got Katie my regional manager so I'm the supervisor of the health clinic and I'm in charge of all clinicians even though they're fairly independent they have to report to me and I in turn report for the whole Clinic this starts with Dory she has a lot of friends in one of the prominent universities here she's very well connected with them she graduated from there is involved with their activities and just active in the school in general I've known Dory for years and have worked with her before but she was never directly under my management because her home Clinic was another location she would just help out I would hear things about her the way she treated the assistants that worked under her a rudeness towards other clinicians and some sketchy stuff about basically fraud of billing for services not rendered this is a big no in healthcare but it happens more than you think anyway I had no proof of this and all the patients at my clinic had not voiced any complaints anyway Dory had started taking students in and she was moved at my clinic when she came here she was still helping at another clinic not too far away Dory accepted a student from her University to follow her and learn from her and slowly integrate into clinical treatment this is where Hannah enters into the picture very shy girl did everything you asked of her but because she was shy and also being a new student she's unsure if the treatment she is administering is the appropriate one that's why you have people like Dory to be next to you and counsel and guide you after the first few weeks I started noticing Hannah would be in the clinic and would be doing treatments without Dory being around for a few hours this isn't allowed because the instructor should always be around at all times to supervise their students after a few times of noticing this I brought Dory and Hannah into my office and said this cannot be happening and it's not allowed if it happens again I would have to report it and this was not something I wanted to do if I did report it the student would lose their clinical placement and would have to wait six months until the next placement which pushes back the graduating date a few weeks go by and things had been fairly normal the student would be in the clinic sooner but would not be performing treatment she would however Shadow other clinicians but Dory was still coming in later than usual one day as I'm walking by Hannah I see that she's on the billing menu in order to be on that screen you would have to be clocked in otherwise the system won't allow you to do it I call her to my office again and I certainly tell her that I had specifically said she couldn't treat patients and she doesn't have a clock in username and password Hannah proceeded to tell me that Dory had told her to clock in for her and start billing patients before Services were rendered continues to State this had been going on for the whole time she'd been a student now I don't see the billing until the next day but I don't have a clock of when the billing was submitted I tell Hannah that this was strictly not allowed but I need more information before I make a decision I call Casey the other clinician into my office and she proceeds to tell me that Hannah goes home crying and bawling every single night due to Dory threatening to fail her as a student if she didn't do all of these things for her Dory had used her leverage in her school to strong arm Hannah into doing all of her work while she wasn't even there I asked Hannah if this was true and she said yes it was Hannah then goes on to tell me that after the first meeting with Dory Hannah and myself on what they shouldn't be doing Dory brought Hannah to the side and told her he's cool he knows what's really going on but he has to say that as a manager so keep doing it at this point I asked the student if any of her evaluation or letters of progress had been submitted to her school so they know she's been making progress Hannah says that Dory has never submitted the necessary paperwork to the school and has gotten away with it because of her connections to the school so if I fired Dory she would in turn take revenge on the student and fail her at her clinical she would be six months to a year from being placed into another clinic meaning she would be either very late or just fail and not be able to graduate I called Katie and reported everything to her told her my fear for the student and what she was dealing with every single day crying and being threatened and retaliated against Katie was also fearful of this but also worried the liability this put on the company also how long it had been going on so she didn't have an answer on how to handle the situation without it affecting the student so here was my revenge started watching everything Dory did treatments time and complaints Etc one weekend Dory had to work without her student on a Saturday Sunday and Monday when I come in on Monday I notice the patient having been to the hospital since Friday but she had still been billed for services I checked the clinician it was Dory how was she able to treat a person that wasn't even the clinic and also be able to bill her so I had my reasons to fire her I had the evidence I needed but I still wanted a bit more I texted Dory and asked if she had seen said patient she reported yes she had but also asked if she had billed less than what she should have because she would have been able to Bill more if I wanted I told her that wasn't necessary and there was no way to build more due to the patient being in the hospital the whole weekend she had billed she knew from that moment what was going to happen the next day myself and Katie waited for Dory and she was fired on the spot just for the fraud the student thing never came up in conversation and she had no idea we had known for a while I had another clinician write up a whole letter on what the student was doing and that she was a good clinician and had completed the necessary work to be able to graduate Dory was unable to get any more work done after that because the incident had been reported to the government and had that on her license wherever she went her new employers would look at the license and not want to hire someone with that on their record last I heard she was working at an Amazon warehouse as a manager from a doctorate degree to a warehouse manager after many years I'm sure of fraud the best part is that student has graduated and gotten her degree and is working in the field she's a great clinician has done great work in her field and I still keep in contact with her she's very thankful for being pulled out of that situation Karen squatter tried to steal my brother's house several years ago my brother Dan moved from California to Washington State and he built a three-bedroom house on one of two Parcels of land he had bought when he was 18 years old he lived in a nice Community with a small Lake and they had an HOA during the 2008 economic crash he ran into financial trouble so he helped him to repay us for the help in March of 2016 he came down to California for an extended period to work on our house which was neglected because of helping him he was very proficient at renovating houses and he did fantastic work in November my brother's friend Jake called him and asked if a friend of his tuna could stay in one of the rooms for 400 per month Dan had worked for many years with Jake doing construction for a house flipper so he trusted Jake's judgment needed the money and thought it might be good to have someone trustworthy there to watch his house Dan drove back up to Washington cleaned out a room put a lock on his bedroom door locked the door and put some of his things in his storage area up out of the way in the garage tuna seemed nice and gave Dan 400 for the first month there was never a written rental agreement it was just verbal and meant to be temporary because Dan was going to return in six months tuna never sent another payment we would call and ask her and she always said it had been sent but nothing ever arrived so what was going on at his house we pieced together that something wrong was going on after Dan's neighbor called and after questioning Jake the neighbor complained that the house had turned into chaos full of people in cars coming and going all hours of the night after the beginning of June 2017 Dan drove back to Washington and handed tuna a three-day eviction notice she left stating that she had somewhere else to live and would get her stuff later he was allowing her to retrieve her stuff at a later date he just wanted her out he started working on repairs and cleaning up the house I mailed Dan a care package with some clothes a California themed shopping bag and gift cards for gas and food five days later tuna showed up with two men who beat up Dan they wanted to take the house back by force Dan went to the neighbor and they called the police the police came and instead of arresting the men and tuna they took Dan to jail for missing a child support court date which then put a warrant on him before coming to California he thought everything regarding child support back payments for his independent successful 23 year old adult kid had been completely taken care of he had no idea about a court date since they notified by mail and tuna had never forwarded his mail which was one of the things she promised to do the child support scam on Dan is another issue I will have to submit later so the police essentially handed the house over to tuna she and her cronies went in changed the locks and placed a long metal bar across the inside of the garage door so that it could not be open from the outside they stole the package I sent to Dan and they spent the gift cards Meanwhile my family and I were on vacation in Hawaii and I received a phone call from in jail I spent a whole day of my vacation in the hotel room trying to figure out how to get him out of jail Bail Bonds could not be used for child support cases finally they let him out when I paid a child support payment of 350 he had been in jail for three days and the squatters had dug themselves in so when he returned to his house he had to call the police to arrest them for trespassing after all tuna had been evicted left and no longer had permission to be there they were squatters by all accounts but the state defers to people who just claimed they are renting therefore requiring a landlord to go through the court system to remove the so-called tenants who are actually just squatters the police came and did him over once again tuna claimed she was renting the entire house and the police believed her instead of Dan she told the policeman that she would leave in 10 days and the policeman told Dan that he would have his house back in 10 days because tuna said she would leave by then are you kidding me Dan was instructed to leave the premises or be arrested it was his house she was trespassing he got into his Minivan and he drove away with nowhere to stay but in his van of course tuna did not leave after 10 days Dan went back after 10 days and called the police again once again the police told him to leave or be arrested we didn't know what to do next one of the HOA board members who had some experience in managing real estate properties attempted to help us she said that he needed a 20-day eviction notice then tuna would be out and this had always worked for her when she had to evict tenants okay so the 20-day notice was posted and we waited tuna did not leave Dan went over to his house and started cleaning up trash thrown all over the yard waiting for her to leave tuna called the police stating that she was a renter and he was disturbing her once again Dan was asked to leave or be arrested this time Dan put his phone on speaker and I heard the whole interaction between him and the police yes he had to leave or be arrested Dan could not even get his construction tools out of the garage and could not work without his tools and with being homeless how do you even work what was going to happen to all his possessions his sentimental things his room had been broken into long before his things removed and people had used the room it was near the end of summer we were paying his mortgage payments and it was getting so hard on everyone then something nice happened a kind friend Adam asked him to stay at his house which Dan did during this time Dan worked for Adam with loan tools and also went to some landlord and tenant educational meetings the people at the meetings were helpful and instructed Dan on how to proceed by taking the matter to the court the police would not go further without a court order to physically evict tuna it would be difficult to afford the case to hire a lawyer but eventually we did end up getting a lawyer Dan posted a court appearance on the door of his house since tuna never answered the door and that is what you do legally in this case every time he posted a court appearance he had to legally give her one week notice which he did he showed up at court and tuna failed to show up so he won by default right wrong the judge said that tuna was not given proper notice because the notice was posted by Dan instead of an anonymous person Dan walked out of the courtroom the lawyers from the landlord and tenant meetings were there and they couldn't believe it unfortunately Adam had to move out of his house he was renting so Dan had to go back to living in his van it was autumn in the Pacific Northwest and getting cold the police had started harassing him if he slept in his van we rented motel rooms for Dan one night at a motel Dan heard a knock on the door in the middle of a night he thought it was the motel staff and opened the door two men burst into the room and proceeded to beat him up and they robbed him they broke his finger and they gave him a concussion Dan ran to his van drove it to a parking lot and he slept he refused to go back to the motel things were starting to go downhill in a very bad way I found a lawyer from a non-profit who worked for free to help he actually used that three-day eviction notice that Dan had given tuna back in June as a basis for the case I had found it online the wording was appropriate and it had been served properly the lawyer had to jump through endless hoops and Court appearances the same judge presided over every case that had to do with evictions and she always favored the tenants including entitled ones this took forever like three more months and Dan became Haggard homeless sick depressed and at times he had gone missing once I called every hospital jail homeless shelter and even the food bank looking for him his van was impounded four times he was hospitalized four times he was endlessly hunted down and harassed by the police three times I found him because I was listed as his emergency contact on his State insurance and he showed up at the hospitals while all of this was happening to Dan my husband was in a serious motorcycle accident and I had to take care of my husband changing his dressings Etc okay I'm crying right now this was so hard to endure remember and difficult to write about I couldn't leave and fly up to Washington to help my brother but I was doing everything down here to get his house back with the lawyer I got in motel rooms at other motels when I could I paid four times to get his van out of impound I sent him cell phones and care packages delivered at UPS Stores one time Dan was lost and didn't have his van or phone he ended up at a hospital who contacted me he told me that he had felt really sick and had gone to the hospital earlier who released him after examining him even after he pleaded with them to let him stay because he felt horribly sick he ended up collapsing on the sidewalk by the Salvation Army shelter who wouldn't even let him in and another homeless person called 9-1-1 so he was back at the hospital with a very serious condition affecting his heart I told the hospital to please call me at release time so I could arrange a motel for Dan they didn't he was then found in a park in frigid weather dressed in a pair of Scrubs a t-shirt a hoodie and one shoe a city policeman called me and took him to a motel where he stayed a while I sent a care package there Dan told me that one time when he was being harassed by the police for cooking food in a park he mailed off and told them that they were jerks and it was their fault that he was homeless because they gave his house to a squatter a fire truck arrived so he was not arrested with the firemen there but I don't think the police liked him much for saying that in October Dan was arrested for drunk driving while he was sleeping in a Walmart parking lot I had to bail him out of jail over that every time he didn't get to court hearings they would post warrants for his arrest one time he was in jail and they refused to give him his medication so I had to bail him out because he felt so awful in mid-november the police arrested Dan again for not showing up to court for that so-called drunk driving incident he begged me to bail him out even though the bail bondsman paid the bail in the late afternoon the jail released him in the middle of the night again with no vehicle impounded a dead cell phone no charger it's in the van no money Etc I found out later that this jail only releases people at night so they can get credit and are paid by the state for the whole day that night he was released it was our deceased mother's birthday Dan was then found unconscious in a ditch by a sea wall in a Starbucks parking lot he had a broken femur a broken hip cracked spine and a head concussion and his finger was still broken from the motel incident the doctors evaluated that he had been hit in the back of his head with something we do not know who did it the last thing he remembers was a police car driving by he was airlifted to a major Hospital in Seattle about 50 miles from where he was I took a flight up to Seattle as soon as I could and I visited him the doctor showed me the x-rays and he had countless rods and pins put into his body to put him back together by this time we were getting closer to having his house back I went by the house with Adam's brother-in-law Paul who was packing heat we pounded on the door and I demanded that the squatter's hand over my deceased mother's rocking chair the stupid friend Jake was there and he handed it to me through the door it was a big heirloom mission style chair and they had burned into the chair in four inch letters the word wasted the court order finally became available but then we had to schedule the eviction according to when the police had time to do it which was another two weeks it was scheduled for the beginning of December I went back home to California briefly and returned the night of the eviction Dan was in the hospital for almost two weeks when he was released I arranged a nice long-term stay type Hotel back near home for him to live at until the police evicted the squatters Paul helped us a lot he was with the police at the eviction changed all the locks and secured the house he picked up Dan at the hotel and Dan got to witness the eviction of that entitled jerk she was the only one left in the house a notice had been posted on the door to warn everyone to leave but as usual she didn't think there would be any reason she would have to leave it took her completely by surprise the police pounded on the door and demanded she leave immediately she asked if she could get this and get that but no she couldn't she grabbed her little dog purse and left with nothing else the police put a notice on the door after Paul secured everything Dan was driven back to the hotel and then I arrived I wish I could have seen the eviction but I couldn't get a flight early enough the neighbor said that a bunch of people came to the house that night pounding on the door trying to get in but they couldn't they almost called the police but the people left we went over there every day for about a week to clean up Dan was confined to a wheelchair and he was on heavy meds so it was hard he couldn't help too much but he did his best the house was a disaster there were literally five tons of garbage in the yard around the house the trash disposal service was not activated during this time so they just piled it up around the house on one side of the house was a huge pillar of trash made out of wire fencing it was about eight by eight feet and at least 12 feet high the front yard was awful with several piles of trash about four feet high tuna left every single thing in the kitchen in the cupboards and rotting food in the pans the carpets were soaked in dog pee there were clothes and junk everywhere there were loads of crushed glass embedded into the gravel driveway like she wanted us to get flat tires over the doorway from the house into the garage was a dangerous booby trap which literally could have hurt someone it was made out of large heavy metal clamps with a glass jewelry case teetering on top of these clamps it could have fallen on the top of someone's head if not discovered and someone jarreded a little the water had been shut off for months by the HOA because they controlled the well and they own the water system as soon as you don't pay the HOA fees water is shut off all the toilets were clogged up the sewage system was impossible to unclog and later Dan discovered that they had thrown dirt and plastic containers down the pipes they had to go under the house and disassemble the pipes to get everything out hanging up on the wall in plain sight in the master bedroom was the California shopping bag I had mailed to Dan and that package that tuna had stolen she hung it there to taunt me I'm not super religious but I felt the worst kind of evil there and had to pray and debute the evil spirits from that house I stayed for weeks there cleaning up and hired some people to do some yard clean out to get the front yard clean later Dan and Adam dealt with the pillar of trash at the site of the house every construction tool that belonged to Dan was stolen he couldn't work much from a wheelchair but he needed the tools to repair his own house Dan persisted though he finally got to the point where he could walk now he can't walk for long periods he gets tired easily but he can do things slowly he has some nice roommates that drive him places and take care of him at times many of his tools have been replaced he sanded off the word wasted on Mom's rocking chair we have sunk a lot of money into helping him but what else is one supposed to do it was a life or death situation that was his house he had built so many years ago this was the most wicked thing I've ever encountered it was coming from all directions we heard that the creepy squatter passed a year ago no one wanted to take her in and she went from person to person staying wherever she could if she would have been decent and kind she probably could have been a roommate and had a place but she thought that she could just take someone else's house am I the jerk for my no plants or animals in the house policy my kids really wanted pets and so did my partner they got a mixed breed puppy from the pound and two kittens as these animals grew none of the humans in my house did anything to care for them besides playing with them and cuddling I got up at 5 30 a.m to walk the dog before work I cleaned the kitty litter boxes out I took them to the vet I had to buy and serve all of their food and cleaned up their eating areas afterward people would just forget otherwise naturally I also had to clean up after them when I'd arrive home and inevitably no one had bothered and there were messes all over the floor if I made my partner or kids do it they'd do a horrible job to the point where they might as well have not even bothered same way with the plants partner wanted house plants and to start indoor herb and vegetable gardens had fun with it for the first week then totally ignored it Dead Leaves spilled soil bugs Etc now proliferate in the garden area if I don't water and groom the plants it doesn't get done I'm busy and these are not my chosen Hobbies I like animals well enough but they're a lot of work and when they aren't attended to destroy the house I grew up with a family that hoarded pets and our house was always nasty and smelly and embarrassing I swore when I had my own place it would be different the cats pee and spray everywhere and I can't get to the litter box in time and the dog chews up stuff and leaves big messes on the floor if I don't walk it I'm the only one who will walk him when it gets cold we have a fenced-in backyard I bought a dog house and announced he'll live outside from now on till they can prove that they can take care of him better same with the cats they're now outdoor kitties till my humans can show me they're ready for for indoor ones of course if the weather is Extreme I'll let them in plants are all going out I'm done am I the jerk new remarks hi I've read all the responses and I'm now going to stop with comments because I get the overall consensus I'm going to copy and paste here what I put in another comment I have no idea how to re-home these adult pets besides Facebook or Craigslist and you don't really know who's going to take them you don't know anything about the people showing up they could be going from a bad situation here to even worse re-homing adult pets is not as easy as you're all making it out to be I don't have abundant resources of time or energy to address this it's causing problems and this is the best solution I can come up with for now to calm everybody down I've tried for over a year to do the best I possibly could for these pets but I just can't anymore I don't know how to force other people to do the right thing and be more responsible pets aren't just for snuggles and Cuddles they require a lot more attention and devotion and yes I've tried punishing my kids and withholding privileges for lack of care I told my partner they weren't ready for pets he brought them home anyway if finding other homes for them is the best long-term solution then I'll look into that but I'm not taking them any place they can be put down and I don't want them walking away with just whoever I have a nice landscaped backyard with a big covered deck and patio where he'll have a dog bed in addition to the doghouse I bought and the cats will have little cat cozies too it's not like I'm tossing them into the jungle we live in a temperate climate and of course I'll bring them inside when the weather's inclement where I live which is in a countrified area most people have a great deal of lot acreage and live down private dirt roads It's Not Unusual at all to keep outdoor pets many many people love and care for their pets but it's very common for them to not have animals in the house I didn't want to be like that but I don't know what else to do my pets including the cats have been indoor and outdoor all their life the cats were not exclusively raised indoors now those are my excuses and I won't give any more I completely understand that many people feel like animals should never live outside I'm listening to everyone here who is saying just give them away giving them away is better and even to people saying return them to animal control or the pound where there's a responsibility if they aren't adopted they will be euthanized even though I do not see it like this that's definitely a majority opinion here so I appreciate all these responses and I will give more thought to this but that's all I have to say for now and honestly I've gotten some very horrible inbox messages calling me all kinds of names as well as really mean stuff people shouldn't be saying to me not the jerk for being frustrated or implementing a no pets or plants rule you are the jerk for putting the animals outside though they'll likely just be even more neglected than they are now outdoor cats are a public nuisance take them to a shelter or rescue or find them a new home you're the jerk re-home the animals instead of throwing them outside go to your local rescue and get help to re-home them those animals will not understand why they're being punished and putting cats outside after being indoor animals is quite dangerous for them next time your family wants an animal put your foot down rather than allowing that situation to happen shaking my head letting animals suffer just so you can make a point really upsets me you're the jerk you are their parent you raised them if they're lazy it's you and your husband's fault and putting these animals outside puts them and the wildlife in danger just re-home them instead of neglecting them well what do you think is Opie The Jerk for how they're handling this or not please let us know nothing's worse than when your kids tell you they want pets then you get them pets and they don't want to take care of them am I the jerk for giving my son's dog to his ex-wife to begin with I love my son with all my heart but he blew up his marriage by cheating and has moved back home I female55 have three kids my oldest is my daughter who's 30 then my twins who are 25 male and female my oldest just got married to a wonderful woman my younger daughter is going to grad school overseas and that leaves my son let's call him Carlos he's always been a handful he got married with a news 20. his ex-wife had a three-year-old daughter whom I love and no matter what I am her grandmother they later had a baby together my other grandchild who is two lockdown caused a lot of stress in his life and he works in a fly-in fly-out Camp job he's gone for two weeks at a time then home for two weeks he makes very good money and enjoys spending it maybe a little bit too much Carlos cheated on his wife with a co-worker I'm not judging him I'm not perfect but he chose to leave his wife and kids and move back home it doesn't really make sense for him to rent an apartment or something for the 12 days a month he's home so I allowed it but he decided to be a jerk in my opinion and bring his dog with him my grandbabies love the dog but he's trying to punish his ex for telling him to leave it is a beautiful border collie and it's the perfect dog for their home huge yard lots of walking trails nearby even an off-leash Park only a 10 minute drive away I live in an apartment downtown I am allowed a dog but if I were to have one it would be something sedate and non-shedding like a Maltese I swear I tried watching this dog but my son is irresponsible he doesn't walk him much he doesn't brush the dog he's just holding on to the dog to lever his way into his ex's life the last straw was this last time off work he was away for two weeks and then came home for one day before flying off to the United States for a vacation with his new girlfriend so I called my daughter-in-law check that she wanted the pup back she almost cried with joy packed up everything that belonged to the dog and took him over there my grandkids were ecstatic my son just came home for three days before he has to leave for work and asked where his dog is I told him the truth he's calling me a jerk for giving away his pet also because I said that if he tried to go get the dog back and bring it back he was not welcome in my home am I the jerk not the jerk in my opinion he's only thinking of himself not you not the dog and not his kids also calling you a jerk you're nice to let him back into your home at all after all of that Opie he's always been hot-headed I love him but he is a pain in my backside I wish his father had been around longer to help raise him I tried but it was hard he's always been a hot head because he likely hasn't suffered real consequences tell him that if he's old enough to get himself into this mess he's old enough to figure it out stop letting him live with you time for him to handle himself and his own life people are so quick to blame the mother but sometimes people just have kind of a bad temperament or they have mental health problems that make their behavior challenging socially it's not 100 nurture if her other kids are great people I would be inclined to believe that he may just be a mean person I'm not generally supportive of unilaterally giving away someone's pet but I think it was entirely justified in this case he brought it into your home without asking you and he's literally never home to take care of it he was intentionally making you the dog and his own kids upset just to get back at his wife for not putting up with his cheating good job Grandma not the jerk well what do you think is op the jerk for giving away her dog's son or not please let us know sounds like a very happy ending to me am I the jerk for losing it on my husband for lying about an emergency to get me to leave my brother's wedding early my husband has been sick for a few days he got sick around the time of my brother's wedding I took care of him 24 hours for days he's on meds and can move and go to the bathroom and eat on his own I told him I was going to my brother's wedding and he threw a fit saying I couldn't leave him alone while he's sick I told him he was not that sick it's just some stomach issue that he's getting treatment for and suggested he call his sister to come stay with him he said no and told me to miss it I got upset and bluntly said no and that he could survive for a few hours while I attend the wedding he sulked and as I was leaving he said he hoped I won't ever come back it hurt my feelings but I knew that he was just mad and he didn't mean it at the wedding I got a text from him saying he lost balance and fell off the stairs and hurt his back he said he was in a lot of pain and he threw up and he couldn't move and insisted that I get home ASAP I freaked out and started calling his phone but he didn't answer I thought he must have passed out and I freaked out even more I got in my car and drove back to our house immediately when I got home I rushed towards the stairs while calling out his name but he wasn't there I really started to get freaked out I rushed into the bedroom and found him in bed drinking juice and as soon as he saw me he put the phone down I instantly knew he lied so I lost it on him and I started yelling saying that he freaked me out and caused me to miss my brother's wedding for nothing absolutely nothing he said that he had already told me I couldn't leave him alone in the house and that this very scenario could have actually happened if I stayed there any longer I yelled at him calling him horrible which made him cry he started crying and throwing his juice all over the place I'm throwing his juice I had to step out and call his sister thinking she'd come help but she came and started going off on me saying that I had a lot of nerve expecting her to back me up after I so carelessly left her brother alone at the house in that state just to attend a party we got into an argument and I went to stay with my family my brother understood when I explained the situation to him my husband and I haven't seen each other since then but his sister kept saying I had no right to scream at her brother and cause him a panic attack and said he at least was clear with me from the start but I chose to be dismissive was what I did dismissive edit I'm 26 years old he's 23 years old not the jerk he lied he's manipulative and he mistreats you the only reason to go back to that house should be to collect your belongings sis get out of this relationship this is only the tip of the iceberg of what he's going to put you through when you don't do what he says he's a controlling person highly likely manipulative and is actively seeking to destroy your relationship with your family let's be clear this was about control in a functional family a sibling's wedding is sacred you move Heaven and Earth to be there to be there to support your sibling and to celebrate the start of their new life with their spouse your husband hurt your brother pulling you away from what should have been about him and his wife he created a scene because I can guarantee that the conversation became about your husband's injury and the emergency he robbed you of special time with your family this would destroy any trust I had in my spouse permanently if a person is so highly manipulative that they could pull this crap I'd be gone please seriously consider where your future with him is going a person like your husband will do this again it could be calling your boss at work to get you fired because you can't go on a work trip with him it could be destroying friendships with close friends because he doesn't like them it will be isolating you from your family because he doesn't want to inconvenience himself well who do you think is the jerk Opie or her husband please let us know I'm still wondering what flavor juice that was juice boss says I can't come in early to set up my card so I come in right at clock in co-worker who leaves early gets mad at me so this happened back in 2015 through 2016. I now 28 female was working as a phlebotomist in a local hospital and I worked for a shift which was about 3 A.M to 3 P.M I love to come in about 10 to 15 minutes early and just set up my card nothing fancy just metal wired shelving types and we had our own personal phlebotomist trays that we put in the top section of the card I didn't always restock my tray before leaving my shift so I typically come in early to organize it and get my metal cart ready it usually took me maybe five minutes to put my tray on a cart and put the handful of tubes I needed back in place then I'd spend the rest of my time waking up in the break room with coffee well one woman I can't remember her age who came into work a few months after I started and I had issues I found her lazy and rude examples she would come in and snap at people when they tried to help her she would take a book with her during the morning Rush which was 3 A.M to 6 or 7 AM and sit on the floor to read and not come back to the lab to help after collecting her Labs she would hang out during the nurses celebrations and not come back for hours at a time she wouldn't clock in until the last second and then she'd clock out the earliest minute she could when it was time to start the morning Rush she'd get mad if someone took this stack of labs she wanted and she'd go demanding them she and I worked the same overnight shift but I got tired of her attitude and switch shifts well like I said I like to come early and set up my cart before I clocked in and she figured this out quickly so she would try and hand me the stroke or trauma pager something that needed to be handed to the next phlebotomist who was scheduled to take it that shift but she tried to give me hers even if I I wasn't scheduled for that one but I refused saying I'm not clocked in yet so she just left it on my card a few times without telling me which led to it going off for a call to the ER and I had a clock in early and when I saw her in the lab again I told her to never do that again the conversation got heated which led to a meeting with me the co-worker and our supervisor our supervisor took her side and said just take it and if it goes off you clock in and then I will adjust the clock in on your computer saying that she'd shortened my time on the clock so I said fine I set my alarm for later in the morning and I started coming in the last minute I could to clock in at 2 59 am yes it made me start my Rush a little later but the look on my co-worker's face when she saw me later right before she was to clock out as she was trying to hand me a pager I wasn't scheduled to have and I already had the one I was supposed to was priceless she complained to the supervisor who tried to talk to me but I said well I'm not supposed to be here until three so that's when I get here and clock in now I don't want my hours messed off she didn't even try to argue the co-worker was very upset she even screamed through the lab demanding someone take her pager so she could go home it was still 20 minutes until our shift was done my Karen wife won't let me buy the coffee I want even though I'm the only one who works I've lately come to enjoy some nicer coffee than I usually drink I brew it at home so we're not talking daily seven dollar drinks or anything instead of getting a giant bulk bag of Kirkland coffee I've come to enjoy a 12 bag from the grocery store it lasts a bit over a week maybe two instead of fifteen dollars for about five weeks my wife doesn't work I work from home she also unfortunately isn't doing a lot around the house right now because of a medical condition I've been picking up most of the slack while she sits around this has been going on for six months for the household years for the job yes she has depression yes she's getting treatment for it I try my best to do what I can but oftentimes I have to ask her multiple times to help with even simple tasks to share responsibility we've had discussions on how I know she's working on the issue but I can't do everything on my own I make plenty to be able to have my coffee be a Splurge she'd previously commented on the cost and I said it's well within the budget and I like it it's fine edit I'd shown you the grocery budget which is nearly always under budget every month for the past few years I brought home another bag the other day and she made another comment along the lines of you're spending way too much on this fancy coffee you need to go back to the other stuff having had to make the grocery run again after doing other household chores that morning I snapped the one with the job gets to make the grocery choices work again or contribute to the household and you can have a say in what we buy she called me a cold-hearted jerk and stormed out of the room so am I the jerk for my reaction to being called out on a coffee buying everyone sucks here for your part of it it's only for saying the one with the job gets to make the grocery choices in my opinion that is cold-hearted but if it really is the difference of 450 a week and that's within the budget then she's being unreasonable not the jerk for buying the coffee you want but a statement like that makes you sound like an obnoxious jerk you get the jerk rating for that if the situation were reversed would you want your wife to be so dismissive of your concerns you and your wife are life Partners For Better or For Worse so what's yours is also hers and vice versa explain to her that you enjoy this coffee and it's under budget and continue to buy it if you want to but don't act like some egotistical jerk everyone sucks here as long as you're not about to lose the house or in financial troubles she should not be dictating what you can and can't buy it doesn't sound like this coffee is going to break the bank she's a jerk for that maybe worth talking to her about why she has such anxiety about finances it could come from her background or possibly from feeling guilty about not being able to work on the other hand you are absolutely the jerk for saying because you are in the money you make all the financial decisions you agreed to support her and she has valid reasons for not being able to work if you don't like this situation divorce her but saying you get to make all the financial decisions because you're making the money is heading down the path of financially mistreating her comments like this are only going to make her more worried about your finances you're the jerk you sound like a monster to be honest why do men still think it's our job to be your Maids news flash it's not the 50s anymore as a married couple whatever money you earn is just as much hers as it is yours when I was growing up my Dad tried the same crap telling my mom that because he was the one working while she was watching TV all day that he got to make the big financial decisions long story short she decided to leave him and he's still paying her alimony to this day instead of retiring early like he planned to he's still working at almost 70 years old and she gets to enjoy her life like she deserved to that's what I call a win and I hope your wife does the same thing to you for how horribly you're treating her and they wonder why the marriage rates are declining so much well who do you think is the jerk Opie or his wife please let us know am I the jerk for firing an employee returning from maternity leave I really don't think I'm in the wrong here I feel like the devil right now so I'll accept whatever judgment you all have I run a team of about six people our company offers a large amount of maternity leave 10 months one of my employees got pregnant recently I'll call her Jess our team does Project based work and in the period between her leaving for maternity leave we finished up the project we were working on when she left and started working on a project without her during this period our team had to adapt to working without her expertise in certain matters we adapted and eventually some of us developed the skills needed to do some of her workload the situation we have now is me and two others split half the work that Jess used to do and we have hired someone new to come into the team to handle the other part of Jess's workload and then some this new employee came and significantly reduced cost as he was straight out of uni and we pay him a fraction of what Jess costs currently now Jess has come back to the team but there's another issue our firm has informed us that for some stupid reason we no longer have the budget for a seven person team and we'll have to let someone go the news came about when I submitted the paperwork for Jess's return we are five months into a project that should take an estimated 10 months and my decision came down to Jess and the man we hired to replace her the reason we hired a replacement which is not normally what we do is because we anticipated that for this project the workload would be far greater than our current capacity which it is not as you can tell by the title I chose the replacement I did so for the following reasons far cheaper thus freeing up a lot more money than keeping Jess on he was up to date on the project and we would be able to move forward seamlessly whereas with Jess we would have to take time catching her up to speed on half the project the clients already knew and liked working with him whereas they didn't know Jess at all she's been out of the field for a prolonged period whilst he's been here for the past nine months so she may or may not find it hard to adapt back to work life whilst with him it isn't a question he performed his work better than she did hers and interacted better with the team obviously the ideal situation which I wanted was to keep both and not put a new single mother with no other job lined up out in the cold but I had to do right by the team and firm I told her I'd write her a brilliant letter of recommendation and that in a few months she could try and apply for a job at our firm hopefully we'll have the budget but she snapped at me and told me not to bother and called me a jerk and left I know I sound cold and heartless but I had to be fair to both employees not just Jess right you're the jerk every single reason you mentioned was only true because she had been gone for maternity leave which legally cannot be a reason to terminate someone yet it is the cause behind every reason you gave be prepared for a lawsuit op somehow firmly believes he's free and clear of all legal ramifications and while I haven't seen what country they're in I have a hard time believing after all his comments he can prove he fired her above board ETA not to mention he says more than once in the comments how no one was even remotely qualified to fill Jess's shoes and perform her role to the same extent she did heck even in the original post he says it took three people to take on her job how can you justify firing her for anything but punishment for using a benefit her own company provided Bonkers I mean his first attempt posting here said he basically fired his employee for being pregnant if that's not admission of discrimination I don't know what is in the words of Andrew Garfield and The Social Network you better lawyer up jerk you're the jerk Jess if you ever see this and the op is deleted I took screenshots you're punishing her for having a baby and taking the maternity leave that your business offers you knew she was coming back why didn't you hire a temp replacement until that time you're not going to save money after she takes legal action for being fired because she's a mother you're the jerk well what do you think is Opie The Jerk for firing them or not please let us know if you knew she was returning why hire a permanent replacement for her I don't get that boss says I have to scan packages before I load them then gets mad when I refuse to load unscanned packages first things first backstory I work at a large Hub facility of a well-known shipping company as a package handler essentially it's our job to handle the packages as the name implies pulling them off trucks sorting them out and putting them on new trucks depending on where we're put in the facility I work with the main delivery trucks that deliver packages to homes and smaller businesses the packages come with barcodes on the side as well as small spot labels to allow someone to see the address which part of the facility they go to and which truck they are to be put on we used to be given small scanners that would scan the barcodes in order to ensure we didn't put the packages on the wrong trucks or get a package that didn't belong in our area and sometimes the labels could be wrong due to errors or a package might lose its label the trucks are even fitted with sensors so if you scan a package and try to walk into a truck where it doesn't belong the scanner would start to whine with that setup now enters our main antagonist of the story Alan my former supervisor Alan is a short skinny guy with a Thin Mustache and is a micromanager of the highest degree he always walked up and down the trucks to watch us work watched Us From a Distance or close by with his arms crossed to get us to work faster constantly told us to grab all of our packages as they come to us despite the fact they go around on a moving conveyor bill that literally Loops them back if we miss them told us to load up our larger packages as soon as we get them despite the fact it makes it harder to move through the trucks and place other packages on the shelves and even hopped into some people's trucks to move packages around the right way his way I can go on and on about Alan but today I'm here to vent about just one of these events or we would be here all day so anyways Alan had me and the other package handlers of our area in a group texting chat in order to tell us our start times for the next shift as well as compare our workspace to each other VR scanning count I assume to make us feel bad and work harder but we don't really care around that time the number of packages we misloaded onto our trucks as we call it had increased and ever since Allen had been adding to his group messages that we need to scan every package and make sure that we are aiming for zero misloads annoying but nothing too serious at least I thought on to the actual story portion so one day I'm working on build as usual and my scanner starts deciding to mess up as they tend to do if smacked or if the battery comes loose I go to Alan and ask him if he could help me fix it or give me a new one to use instead he takes it and tells me to keep loading my trucks without the scanner and just use the labels on the packages this isn't really allowed and instead I chose to stack the packages in front of the trucks so I can scan them once I get a new scanner Alan eventually comes down and tells me to just load them into the trucks normally and to stop stacking frustrating but I shrug and do it and I try to avoid any real conflict that evening Allen messages the group and lists out our speeds with me at the bottom and is once again spouting on that we need to make sure we are scanning our packages before loading them and even comes to talk to me the next day about my number of misloads I'm angry of course as he is the one to tell me but at that point I was still fairly new to the job and didn't feel comfortable arguing with the supervisor so I just try to continue on with my work with a mental note of always scanning my packages no matter what so he can't pull this again unaware that this will be my malicious compliance later on fast forward a few months later Alan is leaving for real estate and is training one of the package handlers to be his replacement before he leaves by that time I'm fed up with all the micromanaging and pestering and I can't wait for him to be gone it's about the final week of his employment that I'm working to build and once again my scanner messes up and stops working I hand it over to Alan once again and just like before as if he has never cared about scanning he tells me to keep loading the trucks I smile to myself and Nod so I continue stacking my packages in front of my trucks waiting for that new scanner to arrive not long after Allen comes back with the trainees at his side he asks me what I'm doing and I tell him I'm stacking my packages once more he tells me to keep loading my trucks and this time I talk back telling him I'm not loading them without a scanner I have to admit at this time I was done with Alan and let my anger get the better of me raising my voice and getting a bit shaky as I have a very hard time dealing with anger especially after dealing with his crap for so long the trainee tries to settle the situation and tells me to just keep stacking and they'll get me a scanner right away but is interrupted by Alan telling me once again to load my trucks this time louder I flatly respond no and thus it goes back and forth like this for nearly half a minute before I eventually tell him to get it to me in writing because I'm not getting fired over this remember we're not supposed to load a package without scanning it and can indeed get in trouble if they can prove we did this intentionally this seems to get him even more mad and he eventually tries to pull the head supervisor card he asks me if I would like him to get the head supervisor to try and intimidate me I wasn't able to chuckle in my anger and just told him to go ahead and get him him and the trainee walk off with him storming down the belt a few minutes later the trainee comes back with a scanner in hand apologizing and telling me to just get back to work I didn't see Alan for the rest of the day and if memory serves the rest of his final week as well sorry if it's not as explosive as some of the other posts but this was just my first real malicious compliance and I hope you enjoyed the read all the same and to any supervisors reading this please just let us do our jobs you ever had a micromanaging boss that yells at you if so what did you do about it please let us know I unloaded trucks at Walmart once for about a week I couldn't take the constant yelling from the manager I just gotten out of the military the last thing I wanted to do was be yelled at in the civilian world my fiance hid my engagement ring as a prank my fiance male 31 proposed to me female 28 days ago he has this habit of joking around and pulling pranks from time to time it bothers me sometimes but I try to have patience his family wanted to throw us an engagement party at a restaurant I heard his mom talk about how expensive the place was and how much money they paid for reservations so this was clearly a huge deal for them my fiance and I were getting ready I noticed my engagement ring wasn't where I left it before I entered the shower I freaked out and looked for it everywhere I asked my fiance about it and he said he didn't see it I freaked out and was running out of time for the party he sat there watching me almost losing my mind and trying to find it to the point where I started crying because without the ring I couldn't show up to the party I kept thinking about what his family would say and how they'd think I was irresponsible to lose the ring that is somewhat expensive I gave up looking and sat down and just cried in frustration next thing I know my fiance was standing in front of me laughing with his hand extended to me with the ring in it I asked where he found it and he could barely speak and say that he hid it last minute before the party as a prank I was in shock he casually told me to get ready so we could get there on time but I just sort of blew up on him and started yelling saying he hid the Ring made me freak out for two hours almost and almost made me miss the party he was like relax it was a prank okay don't make a big deal out of it and ruin the evening I told him I wasn't going to the party and that if his family asked I would tell them it was because he hid my ring he freaked out and started begging me to let it go and just go with him but I refused and went into the bedroom took my medication and stayed there he lost it and kept saying that I blew this out of proportion and that I ruined my own party and cost his family money and disrespected them by not attending his family found out and they were mad at him but also me for choosing to not attend and getting over it but I was in a horrible State emotionally and couldn't handle being in a public place after what had happened am I the jerk for choosing to not go after he hid the ring info why would you marry someone who thinks making you cry is funny op he said that I'm prone to crying and that I get emotional and cry over every little thing which isn't his fault basically calling me a drama queen I do tend to overreact sometimes but I genuinely was worried about losing the ring every single sentence of this comment sent shivers down my spine get out while you do not have legally binding ties to this man one it doesn't matter if you're the biggest drama queen in the world there is no excuse for being deliberately cruel making someone cry on purpose and then belittling them for crying is deliberately cruel I really hope you do not marry someone who treats you this way 2. unless his family paid for the ring it's absolutely none of their business whether you lost it they sound like very unpleasant people honestly and if your fiance isn't sticking up for you when they're out of line well see Point number one not the jerk a prank that results in a loved one's emotional and physical Panic for hours is not funny not okay you did not make a big deal out of it it is a big deal that he likes to be cruel and finds it amusing to see you suffer he ruined a special evening because he wanted you to be stressed out and suffering instead of wanting you to feel loved and happy as you deserve to on such an occasion and he disrespected and tainted the ring that is supposed to represent your unity and love for one another this is fully on him he made a mistake in believing that he could manipulate you into relaxing about his cruelty but you respect yourself too much to play along I'm proud of you op for valuing yourself when he clearly does not value you I would never put that ring on ever again he ruined everything but at the end of the day you dodged a bullet he doesn't deserve you you're the jerk you're still engaged to a person who thinks it's funny to watch you panic suffer and cry your partner likes to make you suffer it amuses him to see you like this does this sound like a partner you can trust to have your back and support you because he keeps not having your back and supporting you in small things so why should you trust him with big things you're a jerk for accepting the ring saying yes and remaining engaged to him stop being a jerk everyone sucks here except your in-laws your fiance sucks because a prank is about five minutes not two hours you because your in-laws spent a lot of money if you were going to punish them for their son's actions you should have the courtesy to call them or pulled it together and just gone mad or not gone exactly the only acceptable reason not to go to an expensive engagement dinner would be if you called off the engagement anything else is petty and you need to get over it and keep it between the two of you however if your man is really as callous as you described you need to dump him I can't imagine my husband letting me stress cry and get upset for two hours as a joke especially not before something for his family that you need to make a good impression on like hair and makeup Etc I don't think either of you are ready for marriage well who do you think is the jerk op or her fiance please let us know if you don't like pranks never start dating a prankster it won't work out am I the jerk for not supporting my husband's kids I'm 28 female my husband is 35 male and we've been married for a year we dated for two years prior to that when we met I said I didn't want to have kids of my own but wouldn't mind being in a relationship with someone who has kids we came to the agreement that he would be solely responsible for his kids minus the little stuff I love my husband a lot and his kids are all right the older two are great but the younger two are a bit much we've had separate finances our whole relationship since he has kids and I don't when I moved into his house we agreed that I would pay one-fourth of the mortgage since it's a four bedroom and three out of the four rooms go to his kids I pay one-fifth of the utilities since there's five of us living here myself and then him and his four kids I also buy my own groceries separate from them since I'm really into fitness and I meal prep once a week it's just the best way to go about it this was the agreement we came to two years ago and we've stuck to it recently I've gotten a new car and I guess he's realized my finances vary a bit more from his than they used to I work as a travel nurse going to wherever pays the most for about one third of the year I make pretty good money and I've saved a lot I make around 130 000 a year meal prepping and responsible spending has helped a lot I don't buy myself a lot of luxuries other than my new car my husband works as a mechanic and he makes a fair amount considering we live in a low cost of living area around forty thousand dollars a year well he wants me to start setting up college funds for his kids and he wants to have a joint account and pay our bills based off our income essentially he wants me to pay two-thirds of everything related to the household and him pay one third I don't think it's fair at all he decided to have four kids and I decided not to have any because I would rather spend my time and money on myself he thinks it's not fair that I can buy myself an expensive car while he still drives an older car that needs work ultimately I asked why he agreed to the split we have now if he wasn't okay with it and he just changes the subject am I the jerk for not wanting to support his kids so he's below the poverty line and you're at the upper class income threshold you're married and completely comfortable seeing your step kids struggle because your income blocks them from student aid and FAFSA that they had more than qualify for if you weren't in the picture financially he'd be better off if he divorced you and rented your room out to some random person that's not a marriage you're friends with benefits at best everyone sucks here I don't understand why you want a relationship or you have discretionary spending and he can't afford reliable transportation to work I don't understand why he signed up for that I don't understand how you intend to live your life completely separate from the four kids you live with anyone else read this and think oh those poor kids they've got a mom that doesn't want them a stepmom who barely tolerates them and a dad struggling to keep up on a forty thousand dollar salary which is only eight thousand dollars above poverty level and not a fair amount of money for five people regardless of cost of living every adult sucks here Mom for not caring about her kids and wanting them to take out loans to get through college dad for feeling he's entitled to college funds from op's money and marrying a person not excited about his kids an OP for naively thinking that this detached Arrangement would work long term without building resentment from her partner and his kids edit op clearly wanted a child free life but also a relationship with this man who has kids so she thought she could detach herself enough financially and emotionally from them and this Arrangement would be sustainable clearly it isn't and was never going to be I'm really struggling to see how the op barely tolerates her stepkids based upon the information provided here step parenting is hard and part of the reason it is is because of judgments and assumptions such as yours as a step parent you're stuck between a rock and a hard place can't overstep because you're not the actual parent can't take a step back because then you're detached if she wasn't there dad would have to cover expenses himself anyways while I do think she should split living costs more equitably given the difference in income she's not a jerk for not taking on full maternal responsibility of four kids she didn't choose to bring into the world and who might not even desire her to be a maternal figure in their lives well who do you think is the jerk op or her husband please let us know if you love The Child free life and you know that it's meant for you never marry someone who has kids you will totally regret it am I the jerk for telling my son that if he can't help me then he can pay for his own stuff I'm a mother of five and a half I'm 46 female I'm five months pregnant I have two twin girls who I'll call Lisa and Sophia who are 10 my youngest son Joshua who's 17 my baby Emily who has one and my oldest son Danny who's 21 male we were on a trip to Hawaii a few weeks ago my husband didn't come because of an unexpected work emergency but he told us to have fun my twins cried a lot so my son Joshua and I comforted them but Danny stood there doing nothing we had so many fun things planned to do with their father but since he couldn't come we didn't end up doing much but whatever we did except eat Danny was absent for it like for example going to the beach banana boats luau's and watching over his sisters when they just wanted to go to the pool he'd stay in his room on his phone chatting with his friends the next week of vacation I was stressed with Danny I hated having to put most of the work on Josh because he wanted to have fun too and my daughters helped with a baby I called him down to help but he said he wanted to relax and chill when we literally came here to relax chill and have fun though we weren't having lots of fun with less help a crying baby two ten-year-olds who wanted to go to the pool but had to do what I had capability of doing while carrying and my other son who wanted to get away from his sisters for at least an hour it was a mess I shouted at him if you can't step up and help the woman who gave birth to you lets you live in her house rent free while giving you a job whose money you just spend on silly games instead of getting an apartment then you can get out of my house and pay for your own stuff he looked shocked and left and just about an hour after my sister-in-law and my in-laws called asking me why I'd shout at my son when he did nothing I told them yeah he's been doing nothing except eating and chatting in his room with his silly friends instead of helping his mother and siblings and I hung up when we got back from our vacation my husband yelled at our son for not helping and sent him up to his room lots of our family are on my side but my in-laws think I was in the wrong so am I the jerk edit I should have added more detail to avoid confusion Danny does minimal work I am not that type of parent he co-parents edit babysits I realized this was making people even more confused all day about once or twice a month when his dad and I want to have some alone time Josh also steps up as frequently as Danny too Danny does also have a job I gave him but he is an introvert stays in his room all day every day when he doesn't have work which is only twice or three times a week only gets out to eat or go out to parties to hang out with his friends other than that I expect nothing less from him than him keeping up good work in his job and helping out every once in a while with his sisters just as Josh does but his dad and I do on it daily mostly weekends because of school you're the jerk what a nightmare he's not your husband or the father of your kids stop popping them out if you can't handle so many and I say this as a parent you're the jerk these are your kids stop parentifying your other kids to do child care for you if you can't handle your own kids you shouldn't have had so many if you couldn't handle them alone on vacation you shouldn't have taken the vacation it's not your oldest kid's job to be your slave if you want them to pay rent or something that's reasonable but they didn't keep popping out more and more kids you did those babies are no one's responsibility but yours and your husbands well who do you think is the jerk op or Danny please let us know I hope Danny is able to move out soon Karen mother-in-law said my chili wasn't spicy enough so I made it spicy for her in my last relationship I lived with my husband Danny and a duplex owned by his mother Donna we lived on one side and his mother and brother lived on the other side Donna was a very horrible person and took great joy in belittling me and tormenting me every chance she got she took extra pride in herself if she succeeded in making me cry my ex-husband is a professional cook and would often prepare enough food for his mother in addition to ourselves occasions when I would do the cooking she also expected to be served dinner one thing I made often was chili both my ex and his mother loved my chili but both liked their chili on the spicy side I never made my chili spicy as I have a sensitive stomach my ex would just add hot sauce to his serving and that was that but Donna would complain endlessly about the chili not being spicy even going so far as to demand I make the next batch of chili spicy for her I told her I wasn't going to do that because I wouldn't be able to eat it she essentially told me that what I wanted didn't matter since she had been gracious enough to allow me to live in her home I told her if she wanted it spicy she could add hot sauce to it like my ex did or she could just make her own darn chili so next time my ex told her I was making chili she came over while I was making it and watched me like a hawk demanding I add this that and another thing I told her I would be making my chili the way I wanted to and she could go home and wait for it to be done or find something else to eat she left and I continued tending to my chili now my ex is somewhat of a hot sauce connoisseur and he's never met a hot sauce that was too spicy for him so the previous Christmas I bought him a bottle of Carolina Reaper puree when the chili was ready he asked me to make a tupperware container of chili for his mother while he used the bathroom and he'd take it to her when he was done so like the good little wifey I was I put the chili into the container with a heaping tablespoon of Carolina Reaper mixed it up really well added some shredded cheese on top and closed it up ready to be delivered next door X finished in the bathroom delivered the chili and we sat down to our meal we had just finished approximately 30 minutes later when his phone rang my ex liked to have his conversations on speaker and I was glad of it this time Danny something is wrong what's wrong Mom this chili oh it's burning me up what did your wife do to this chili X looks at me confused I just shrug she didn't do anything to it it's just her normal chili but what did you add to it Mom I added a little Sriracha but that shouldn't be hot like this well maybe you added too much that hateful jerk did something to my chili Danny I'm going to get her calm down ma you're overreacting I want her out of my house you can't kick her out over chili ma watch me she hung up my ex looked at me and asked did you really do something to her chili I smiled sweetly and said she wanted it spicy it's spicy there were no real repercussions from this other than her losing it on me also she was perfectly fine and never asked for my chili again so bonus my own daughter stole 62 000 from me my wife and I are in the fortunate position of being wealthy we had to work very hard to get to where we are and we never forgot where we came from our kids grew up as rich kids but we never spoiled them even when we could have they went to nice schools and had nice things but they also had summer jobs and after school jobs to pay for their own extras we also pushed philanthropy in our family so our kids recognize they are privileged and that our life isn't even remotely how regular people live I'd say for the most part our kids have grown up to be respectful and good people our oldest kids are twin boys and their sister is 18 months younger than them all three are in college now our youngest two are in eighth grade I got a call from our bank a couple days ago saying that someone had cashed a check that was charged to our bank account in the amount of sixty one thousand three hundred forty seven dollars and that the check had been made out to the tuition office at the University my oldest three kids attend naturally I investigated the matter myself with the university and I got some answers I pieced together that one of my kids snagged my checkbook and wrote a tuition check for a friend of theirs there's a much bigger story behind why this kid couldn't pay but that's private and my wife and I agreed to fund this Young Person's education because of their private struggles I grilled my kids and figured out that it was our daughter Joanna Joanna was apologetic but she was also quite insistent that she stood behind her actions I respect my daughter for her convictions and she really did have good reasons for why she did it but the fact remains that she stole and then she hid it from us Joanna asked what her punishment is and I told her to get a job because she now owes her mother and I 62 thousand dollars here's the thing I don't expect Joanna to pay us back and if she came to me tomorrow with the money I wouldn't even take it what I want is to see her make an effort an acknowledgment of her actions and the consequences if I see that she's actively trying I'll tell her that she doesn't have to pay me back she's my kid and I love her so all I want is for her to learn a lesson but Joanna doesn't know any of this all she thinks is that she now owes me sixty two thousand dollars so naturally I'm a horrible father and a very mean person am I the jerk not the jerk I actually think you should follow through and expect her to pay it back in full same otherwise she'll think from now on oh I just have to do what he wants for a couple weeks and I'll be good my husband saw this post as well and thought of a good idea op lets the kid get a job and lets her pay him back for a year don't tell her it's just for a year but at the end of the year forgive the rest of the money so she gets to spend a whole year learning the value of a dollar as she clearly doesn't right now and see how little a minimum wage job will even make a dent in that kind of money and he can either keep the money or put it in savings for her for a later event I think you're on spot for how you're addressing the sneaking stealing and lies I'm sure you made it clear that she come to you and made a case for helping this person out there would have been no consequence but that the disciplinary action is a result of the dishonesty and the theft not the jerk well what do you think is op the jerk for the way they're punishing her or not please let us know I think this is what you call great parenting am I the jerk for evicting our tenants of 22 years our son is 22 years old when he was born we bought a second home always with the intention of gifting it to him when he was an adult it's a modest home two-bedroom Bungalow with a developed basement that has an additional room about 10 minutes from where we live when we bought it we listed it for rent and a lovely couple started renting they went on to have six kids they chose not to move and continued living in the three-bedroom home with the kids the dad works the mom stays home important to note that we bought this home in the year 2000. even with a 15-year mortgage the mortgage was quite low and the rent not much more than the mortgage we've only raised the rent four times in the 22 years that they've lived there and the rent is still well below average for our area I did look it up an average rent where we are for a similar house is two thousand to two thousand six hundred dollars a month our renters have only been paying thirteen hundred dollars a month when they started renting we did talk to them we did tell them that this house was eventually for our son we never actually expected to have the same renters for 22 years our son graduated University in June and has been staying with us since then but he's a responsible young man and we decided that Christmas would be a good time to gift him this home at the beginning of September we talked to our tenants and gave them a two-month election notice figuring we'd have November and December to get the house cleaned on any repairs done understandably they are not happy they've been posting all over social media about what bad people we are kicking them out how they can't afford to rent anything big enough for their family their oldest kid who's 19 even found my son on Facebook and sent him a horrible message he had no idea we were planning to gift this to him their Facebook posts have been shared in our local community groups and everyone is commenting about what evil landlords we are am I the jerk for evicting long-term tenants so our son can move in edit to add we did mention gifting the house to our son when he started University so we told them when they moved in back in 2000 and when he started uni in 2018 edit two it wasn't a legal eviction notice we also didn't break the lease five years ago they decided not to renew as they thought they might buy soon and move to a month-to-month lease edit three it seems two months is not long enough notice I have sent them an email giving them an additional two months bringing it up to four months notice edit four I sent this to my husband he told me when he was there in April installing a new hot water tank that he told them well the dad that we had likely be giving notice this summer what kind of entitled nonsense is going on here where people are calling you a villain all renters know that they aren't paying for their own mortgage and they have no entitlement to your property whatsoever they're on a month-to-month lease you're telling me that lease is ending they should have saved up money for this 60 days is a great deal of notice for people who told you years ago that they wanted to buy a house and didn't want to resign the lease this BS about getting a house you didn't pay for is just a load of BS you did your credit is on that house you did the down payment which is what allows the mortgage to be so low and the home loan is in your name not the jerk these comments are so entitled not the jerk you literally gave them 22 years to prepare how could you be the jerk everyone here saying you're the jerk is insane you've been more than fair even keeping them at a low end how could they say you're the jerk you aren't responsible for providing them housing based on their actions I would hold firm on a two-month deadline had they been civil I would have extended it but they do not deserve it you will be lucky if they don't wreck the house at this point everyone sucks here it's your right to evict them but I feel like two months is way too short notice given that they've lived there for 22 years they have six kids and only one income the holidays are coming up and we're in a recession where inflation is insane you only charge them about half of what rent is going to cost them anywhere else so they're going to have to get a different job or another job to afford it and the job market is horrible at the moment that being said they could have talked to you about being able to stay there longer until they can make arrangements to afford a similar house but they chose to get on Facebook and be salty rather than do anything productive ETA 2. the amount of y'all telling me it's not op's responsibility blah blah blah first of all learn to read because I never said it was second of all do y'all live in caves and never interact with people outside of the internet must be the case if y'all have absolutely no sense of compassion you can tell me I'm wrong till you're blue in the face but you simply will not convince me that having compassion for others is wrong stay mad about it well what do you think is op the jerk or not please let us know if you're a landlord never let people online find out they've gotten some people canceled over that sort of thing show me up at my own wedding we'll see about that I 25 female and my husband 30 male got married last Friday we planned our Dream wedding down to our Dream catering company the wedding was beautiful and after the pictures we headed to our cocktail hour and that's when I saw her my guests were all told to wear dark colors so my husband and I could stand out I also asked my guest to wear minimal makeup I had assumed that that applied to the staff too the server was around 19ish had on clearly too much eyeliner she also had diamond studs in her ears a flashy ring and one of those ugly nose studs the staff's uniform was a black long-sleeved shirt but on her it was too low cut and her pants were far too tight it was super distracting she was walking around serving drinks and talking to my guests I asked another member of the staff to speak to their boss when their boss came out I pointed out the server and asked that she'd be dealt with because she was super distracting their boss apologized and called the server back into the kitchen not even an hour later the server was back out serving food for dinner I called the boss over again and asked if the server could work in the back or go home her boss said they were short staffed tonight so she would see what could be done after a couple of hours of not seeing her I saw the server again behind the bar I called the boss out one last time and told her if the server didn't leave I would be calling the cops the boss finally relented and told the girl to go home my husband and mother-in-law said I was acting crazy and that I probably got a poor college kid fired over nothing my mother and maid of honor said that it's my wedding so I can do as I please it's my wedding and I don't want someone overshining me and the server should know she's at work and not dress up so much I do feel kind of bad because she was pretty young am I the jerk you're the jerk but don't worry I'm sure the catering team will get it right at your next wedding you're the jerk too bad you didn't get to enjoy your wedding reception because you couldn't stop obsessing over the server the things that you objected to with the server could have been fixed but you didn't want it fixed you chose to complain about her and not the offending items this was entirely your choice to not enjoy yourself who spends so much energy on their wedding day because a server was wearing too much eyeliner and earrings you're the jerk you need therapy this is not normal well what do you think is Opie a jerk or not please let us know good luck to the groom he's gonna need it my wife a stay-at-home mom wants us to hire a nanny my wife is a stay-at-home wife who looks after our two kids the other day she said she's thinking of hiring someone to pick up around the house both of our kids are in elementary school from 8 to 2 45 I see no reason to hire one but she said she's busy raising the kids I work full time and see no way how she can be busy every day when they're at school seven hours a day am I the jerk you're the jerk maybe you should trade jobs with your wife for a day or two and you will be amazed at how much she gets done you're the jerk you're right that she shouldn't need to hire help if she's struggling she should be able to turn to you first for help when she needs it maybe instead you could try talking to her and seeing how you guys could work together as partners you're the jerk for calling her a stay-at-home wife when she's actually a stay-at-home mom big difference even with the kids in school you're the jerk if you can afford it why begrudge her child care isn't easy and a lot of the time can be overwhelming what's wrong in having someone take on some of the grunt work so Mom can have more time with the kids and with you you're the jerk God how I hope she takes you to the cleaners when she divorces you you know why she wants to hire a nanny because what she does is one thousand times harder than whatever you do at your little job I was a stay-at-home mom for five years and they were the worst years of my life my now ex but husband at the time constantly complained about how dirty the house was when he got home got a problem with dishes in the sink how about cleaning it yourself tough guy sorry I'm busy raising our kid all day which is no easy task eventually the state took my baby because my sorry excuse of a husband couldn't even help clean around the house so it was a constant mess the only good thing I got out of the failed marriage was the alimony he's still paying me and I'll milk for as long as I can I seriously hope she does the same to you not the jerk been there done that my wife at the time who was also a stay-at-home mom and I had this same issue before our divorce she begged and pleaded to hire a live-in nanny who would clean and cook for us our Twins were 10 at that time so they were at school all day she swore up and down that with her workload at the house she didn't have time to cook and clean anymore well I set up a little hidden camera in the living room and lo and behold her busy day consisted of nothing but her sitting on her butt watching TV and browsing the internet on the phone all day 30 minutes before I would get home she'd get up and start acting like she had been working on something that was actually productive this was what happened every day for a week when I confronted her with the evidence of what she was doing she lost it on me saying I violated her privacy this was really the beginning of the end of our marriage and I hope your situation turns out better than mine did judge decided that she got to keep the house both cars most of what I had in savings and part of my retirement once that day comes sometimes I feel like the system is rigged against certain people and I really wish I'd never gotten married definitely won't be doing it again bruh sometimes this stuff gets depressing to read about sure does here's a funny one Kevin me all the food you got another memory from my days at mcgolden arches it was our typical Saturday lunch rush all five registers have a line of people and drive-throughs around the building I the crew leader have five people in the grill one on fries five up front at the tills one in back Drive taking money one in front drive taking orders and making drinks and a food runner for front drive bagging burgers fries Etc and handing it out to the cars I was calling production side note this is over 20 years ago when mccarches had those Giant Food warming bins and it was made to order we had a special clock with red and blue numbers above the warming bin that told us when to throw away the food when the food came up you looked at the clock pulled the proper metal number and placed it behind the food that just arrived we could keep food in the bin for 15 minutes and then we'd have to throw it away back to the story it's the beginning of the lunch rush I've got a full crew a full bin of food and we're getting into a good Groove in walks the area Mangler he takes one look at my bin goes back into the office and demands that I get written up for changing the time on the food he and my manager walked up and started discussing this with me I tried to explain to him that I wasn't changing anything and that all the food in there had come up in the last five minutes as indicated by the time place cards I had in there he didn't believe me and said there's no way you can get that much food that quickly and I'll prove it to you and he proceeded to waste everything in my bin and then he said your customers are hungry you need to get them food I looked back in the grill and said Kevin give me everything you got and he said are you sure and I said area manager just wasted the bin and you see the line of customers we have out here Kevin said you got it side note too you see Kevin is a master in the grill he was at the time anyway an overly hyped up teenager that was very good at what he did he could outwork any three people on the grill he was quick accurate and loved a challenge well Kevin being the person that he is started giving me food so fast I was having trouble pulling it down and placing it and putting the right time place cards on it I had the entire bin stacked with food within five or six minutes and asked the area manager if that was proof enough for him he just grumbled and walked out that was also the last time anyone doubted my time keeping for food at that place especially with Kevin running the grill co-worker doesn't want me touching his customers cars okay very well then this happened about five years ago I used to work at a dealership I was part of the detailing crew there were about five of us in that department but only three of us on site at a time for context when a sales rep makes a sale on a vehicle they bring it to us to get it detailed along with stickers removed from Windows nothing too serious as they're already fairly clean now the way this dealership works is there's only one detailing department for five different dealerships so we would detail cars for Toyota Volkswagen Nissan GMC and Hyundai so yes a fairly small detailing squad for five different dealerships it sounds like a lot but surprisingly it wasn't too bad this specific sales rep will call him Jake Jake was married to this other sales rep we'll call Mary for whatever reason Jake hated my guts for almost the entire time I was employed there no idea why my assumption is that one day he saw me talking to his wife which I didn't know it was his wife at the time but that's because I was getting some info on a trade-in that came in and I was thinking about purchasing that car it was a 2016 Nissan 370Z so I never ended up buying it I just wanted to get more information about the car how much the monthly payments would be Etc I guess he didn't like me talking to her so he held a grudge against me again this is just speculation also I want to note that I've been in the detailing field for about six years at this time so I had my fair share of experience and I was actually one of the best detailers in the department now then one day Jake came up to our department with a sold unit and I kind of overheard him talking to one of my co-workers about me he was talking behind my back and I mean he was saying rude stuff about me but I was able to make out most of the things he was saying one particular line I did understand was hey I have this car here customer wants you to just remove the stickers nothing else also make sure op never touches the cars I bring up okay do I make myself clear he doesn't know what he's doing me acting like I didn't just hear what he said I continued working on my own stuff and thought to myself what did I do to this guy that he doesn't like me but whatever I guess if he doesn't want me to touch his car then so be it cue malicious compliance one day I was the only one that showed up one guy called out and the other said he'll be really late I didn't mind that day was also the day that Jake brought a sold unit first thing in the morning to us for a cleaning and I was the only one there he didn't know that he thought the other guys were here working on another car or whatnot he dropped the car there left the keys on a board where we keep the other keys and then he walked away little did he know I was alone I did not touch his car as per his request the car sat there for four hours he came up to pick up the car and noticed that it hadn't been touched at all he came to complain and said why hasn't my car been touched did no one touch my car I said no Jake No One touched the car which he replied with why the customer is waiting what on Earth why didn't you do it and I said oh no I can't you said not to let me touch whatever car you bring us because I don't know what I'm doing and sadly I'm the only one here at the moment so I guess you'll have to wait for the next guy to show off assuming he does show up today he looked shocked and started apologizing because he said I didn't mean any of that I just ignored him and went back to doing what I was doing he had to explain to his customers that he had to reschedule them for another date our boss later found out about what had happened and he had a long talk with him about treating his fellow colleagues with respect and not to discriminate against anyone for any reason at all I know the ending wasn't as satisfying as most posts here but I felt good that day when he found out I heard everything he said about me that day can't give me the product I ordered even though you have it in stock no problem I was out of town with my wife on vacation and she forgot to pack her curling iron we'd been out for a couple days but she wanted to look nice for a dinner party we were going to or something like that which is irrelevant to the story she wanted to buy a new one anyway so I started searching for options online to see if a local store had one she liked to our surprise Not only was the one she wanted in stock it had a huge discount and was available for pickup at a nearby store I won't get into details of where this story is or what the name is but it's a large enough chain to have stores in all major cities across the country so we place the order and drive to the store go to the hair products section where we're supposed to pick it up and this rude lady who seems to be in a hurry says in a fast and annoyed tone we can't pick it up yet as they need to send it from the warehouse that's exclusive for online orders we can see there's a bunch of them on the Shelf next to her also I'm aware that some stores do work under this stupid process where they need to receive online order product purchases first and give you those instead of what they have in stock for various reasons but this wasn't the case we've done this before and they'll just grab one from a shelf and give it to us there's no serial number or anything that could make this one different from what they would have received to fulfill the order so this lady was just being rude she said there was nothing she could do even though she could see our order as confirmed for pickup at this point we would have canceled the online order and purchased it in the store but this lady really ticked us off and it didn't have the discount there so here's the malicious compliance part we told this lady we had canceled the online order and we wanted to buy one from the Shelf she immediately changed her attitude and sold it to us without complaining we went back to our Airbnb my wife used it for that particular event and for the next few days then I called the store to confirm that our online order was ready and they said it was so we went back to the store and guess who was there again so we got to the counter ask for our order and she gets it for us she didn't seem to recognize us so as soon as she gives us the online order package I tell her that we need to return this too and give her the curling iron we bought from her she then recognized us and just stood there watching for a few seconds then she goes back to her crappy tone and asks why we're returning it we don't need it anymore she calls her manager and tells him that we're asking to return a product that doesn't have a problem and that we are returning it because we don't need it anymore like expecting him to tell her not to proceed with a return he obviously tells her that as long as it's within their stated 30-day period after the purchase it's returnable for any reason unless we damaged it the manager leaves and the lady doesn't say a thing after that but we can clearly see she's upset we get a full refund and leave with a brand new curling iron again we later found out that they can in fact just grab any product they have in stock if they confirm an order but they need to do some extra steps to match it to their inventory later and that they don't get a commission so this lady was probably expecting to pass it on to the next shift so in short there was no reason for her to not fulfill our order other than wanting a commission and being lazy in the end she wasted more time and didn't get a commission from our purchase well this is Red Lobster and we do things the Red Lobster way this happened several years ago and I am forever relieved I don't work in a restaurant anymore solidarity to all kitchen workers for the endless BS you have to deal with at the time I was working in the kitchen as an assembler this can be one of the most clutch positions on the line as you take all the food being prepared by the other cooks and organize it into tickets that can be taken out into the dining room accordingly it is often a bottleneck for food leaving the kitchen if you have a slow assembler cooked food goes bad under the heating lamps grilled salmon dries out fries become soggy Linguine Alfredo hardens into concrete really horrific stuff it is imperative that food not sit in the window I was working a weekday lunch shift which is normally pretty slow we must have provoked the wrath of restaurant Gods on this day though because out of nowhere the store got hit with a tsunami of customers I could just barely make out the other Cooks through the clouds of shrimp scampi fryer grease and cheddar bay biscuits flying through the air I knew the grab blizzard was headed my direction and began putting empty plates up in the window with the shape of each ticket that was to leave the kitchen a technique I had learned to help survive times like this on the other side of the window coordinating the servers was my manager jerkface she didn't use his real name actually let's call him Bob instead Bob was a bit hyperactive and had an irritating tendency to micromanage kitchen processes a problem compounded by his not knowing how to run a kitchen when I began putting empty plates in the window so that the incoming interstellar-sized wave of seafood had something to land on he stopped me what are you doing Bob asked I'm putting the plates in their sides in the window because we're about to have a very high volume of food coming through I replied well this is Red Lobster I'm here wager thinks the Red Lobster way we plate the food when the food is ready and we don't put the sides on early I tried explaining that the Red Lobster way was designed by sentient suits and ties physically incapable of holding a spatula that are a sacred way as dictated in the good book of employee training had gone out in the trenches of last year's endless shrimp special that while I appreciated the job I wasn't prepared to go out at the hands of this rush to uphold its most obscure tenants but he wasn't having any of it Bob insisted that I take the plates out of the window and only pass him plates and tickets that were 100 completed knowing full well that Bob was flying Us by the book into a storm of crap I put on a raincoat rub some Vicks under my nose and braced for the impact 30 minutes later the window was chaos finished food was left in the wings of the window while I plated up one finished ticket at a time Bob was equal parts confused and Furious like a toddler whose toy was suddenly taken away what's this food waiting on he cried gesturing towards a shriveled up stake and its Associated sides well that order is waiting on some fried shrimp and I need to wait for the ticket to be complete before I plated up why is the ticket missing fried shrimp unfortunately I'm not Manning the fryer sir so I don't know this continued for the better part of an hour it seemed like every ticket was missing one little thing that kept it from leaving the kitchen after the rush had passed Bob approached me with the Twitchy nervous energy of a hyper-caffeinated insecure manager who needed to assert his dominance over the underpaid crew of some bunk seafood restaurant could I uh speak to you in the walk-in for a moment use her name's Rue sure thing we walked to the cooler as I struggled to remember how to fight off an attacker so what happened back there Bob asked arms folded shifting his weight from one foot to the other you said we should follow the system and we did I replied mentally noting that he was standing in front of the walk-ins only exit but there were a lot of missed items on those tickets we had food dying in the window I saw it yeah it was pretty bad so why was the food missing I don't know I wasn't cooking the food I was assembling it I'm the assembler this line of questioning continued with Bob trying to somehow pin this mess on me while I insisted that I did exactly what was asked of me after not being able to move past this point for several minutes Bob made some sweeping statement about during better next time and then left incidentally the next time I was assembling and Bob was on the other side of the window nothing was said about the Red Lobster way and the rush went smoother albeit with some hotter plates and servers having to return for delayed items I guess we ended up doing better after all my housemate keeps throwing out my food she says it's gross I'm losing my mind here I need perspective six months ago I moved in with a friend and her friend my friend is Chill her friend is nice but is super clean freak my friend warned me about that so I've been on my game keeping everything extra clean though we had some small differences of opinion example I left two textbooks on the kitchen table overnight after studying and the next morning she told me I shouldn't leave mess on the table okay I didn't think a couple of books was a mess but cool no worries won't do it again the problem is the fridge one of Jane's weekly self-appointed chores is to clean out the fridge I don't think a fridge needs to be cleaned weekly but hey her call thing is she keeps throwing out my food we have different ideas about how long food is still good she's adamant leftovers shouldn't be eaten after three days I eat leftovers for up to a week I'm pretty generous to my vegetables with how long I still eat them like if my carrots get a little soft or my Kale's a bit wilted they're not perfect but they're still good for us too let me stress they are not going bad or gross or smelly or moldy or any of the terrible things you can imagine in a shared fridge I've never left actual bad food in there they're just not Supermarket shiny my food budget is tight I'm not gonna waste food we just had a blow up because I went to eat the stir fry I cooked Monday night gone Jane's thrown out my leftovers before because she claims it's gone bad after a few days or thrown out Unpretty vegetables that I know were fine because I looked at them that very day but she had claimed that they were gross I've asked her before not to throw out my food just because she personally wouldn't eat it because it's fine I asked her about the stir fry she said she threw it out because it's been there for weeks Jane it hasn't been there for weeks I cooked it on Monday night it has it's been there for weeks it's disgusting I got rid of it Jane I literally cooked it on Monday I know I did because I was there please stop throwing out my food it's fine you don't have to eat it but you can't just toss my stuff she went off about how it's disgusting the food I keep in there and it's going to make me sick it doesn't and how she's doing me a favor and I should be thanking her for cleaning the fridge weekly because it's disgusting that we wouldn't do it if she wasn't here I can't even deal with this so I just calmly said Jane the fridge isn't disgusting please leave my food alone and walked upstairs because I just couldn't handle getting into a screaming match about it she went to my friend going off about how rude I was to walk out on a discussion and how my food is gross I know I might be looser than the others on when food is still good but I don't think I'm doing anything gross my food is not gone rotten smelly or moldy am I being gross to have leftovers in the fridge for a week or vegetables that are a bit soft ETA thanks and lots of people have suggested a mini fridge in my room which I get is one solution I just don't think I should have to carting my food up and downstairs from the kitchen to cook a meal if my roommate is being unreasonable seems uncool and expensive for me to get one we do have separate shelves in the fridge so she knows my leftovers are mine to be honest I think she targets them because she assumes they're gross they are sealed but we all put a special portion of our vegetables in the bottom Chiller drawer together but she knows which ones are hers and which are mine I guess I was just paranoid because I grew up and not the cleanest house and we did really stretch our food and sometimes did have stuff so gross in the fridge as a kid so even though I don't let food go gross now I was worried I'm crossing some kind of unspoken boundary about acceptable food to keep in the fridge because my house and fridge were messy growing up ETA too my God people I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being inadvertently gross with my old veggies and my five days leftovers not go nuclear y'all are Savage remind me not to mess with your food Karen demanded I be fired for being polite to a homeless couple a few years ago around midnight I had a guest come up to the front desk a woman and a girl who was around four the woman told me there were a couple of people sleeping in the back staircase I told her I would take care of it and I apologized if she was inconvenienced and she went back to her room or so I thought I went to the back staircase and there on the second floor was an older homeless couple either sleeping or napping so despite feeling bad I woke them up and told them that they couldn't sleep here and they would have to leave they apologized and thanked me for not yelling at them about it and they went on their way I thought the issue was dealt with and went back to my duties the rest of this I heard secondhand from my morning co-worker apparently the woman that told me of the homeless couple was at the top of the stairs listening and watching and in the morning she came downstairs to complain about me she didn't improve of the way I handled the homeless people I told my morning co-worker about what had happened so he'd know I wasn't mean or nasty or anything so what was I supposed to do grab them by the ears and throw them out of the back door either way she wasn't happy with the way I handled the situation despite not giving an answer of what I should have done and then she started adding other details onto it she said they smelled like meds didn't say which ones when I spoke to them I didn't smell anything she said she didn't like the way the man stared at them if they were sleeping how could he even have looked at them in the first place and if he felt unsafe why did you go near him and then she started adding other things not part of the homeless people she said it was too loud by her room and she couldn't get to sleep so co-worker asked her why she didn't report it to the front desk she didn't have an answer no matter what my co-worker said she kept ranting and raving and demanding not only a full refund but a free night stay and for me to be fired of course none of that happened and due to her attitude and the language she used she was told to leave and she was put on a do not rent list the kicker is even after all of this she still came back the next day and tried to rent another room and she threw another fit when she was told that she was no longer welcome am I the jerk for leaving my family in squalor and going to a resort so let's begin with this I make decent money but I'm in no way rich I like to take my family on vacation and have been stimied for the last couple of years so this summer I decided to do something I thought was pretty great I paid for my family to go to Disneyland not just my wife and kids but also my father-in-law mother-in-law my wife's brother and his wife and kids so 10 people I also rented a mcmansion with a pool and everything I bought all the groceries and rented a truck so I could Ferry the luggage and in case of emergency we would have a vehicle my kids are in their teens and my nephews are a few years younger my immediate family did not require any help with the kids and realistically neither did my in-laws so we get to the house and the problems start the room I had picked out for my wife and I is obviously the nicest my father-in-law and mother-in-law chose to stay in the pool house this left five other bedrooms for six people brother-in-law and sister-in-law my two kids their two kids simple right not so fast why did I get the best room they hadn't had some nice time alone in years why did my kid get to pick the room with the ensuite why did one room have a bigger TV why are we having to cook some meals why don't we just order every meal goodness I just went to my room and I went to sleep first day more BS why do we have to wait in lines why don't we get the tour guide that lets us skip the lines my wife started joining in she said we shouldn't be cooking at the house and that it wasn't fair to her and sister-in-law to be stuck with the cleaning my kids always help help I do too brother-in-law doesn't lift a finger to help though my in-laws joined the fun at the end of the day they didn't want to wait for the Uber could they take the truck and meet us back at the house my wife said to let them I got sick of it I ordered everyone pizza and then while they were gorging themselves I called an Uber and went to stay at a hotel that I'm a super shiny member of I used my points to book a suite for the next six days I texted my wife and I told her I would catch up with everyone in the morning at the park she's mad that I left her to deal with those ungrateful greedy people I'm sitting in the pool enjoying a gin and tonic and writing this because I left the park after I saw the new superhero stuff at the park her brother and sister-in-law are now bugging her to give up the nice room since she's alone now she's not on their side too late so am I the jerk for leaving them to all sort out their own stuff after I went out of my way to do something nice and they craft all over it edit I'm going to get ready for the game thank you guys you've given me a lot to think about yikes edit my wife went beast mode she's spending the night with me at the hotel after the game I'm back at the house tomorrow my brother-in-law has been told if he looks at our room he and his wife are going to a motel in-laws were told to Uber wherever they wanted we're still taking everyone out for one dinner but all other meals not made in the house are paid for your own way and brother-in-law is responsible for cleaning up after meals honestly didn't think she had that in her not the jerk this is actually hilarious you took a vacation from your entitled relative's vacation well maybe you should have warned your wife and brought her along and left the other relatives to figure things out for themselves I can't even fathom someone sponsoring me for a free vacation like that and saying anything but thank you so much let me get your suitcase for you this is fantastic next year tell them since the last vacation wasn't up to their standards you're going to let them pay for this one and show you how it's done properly well who do you think is the jerk op or the in-laws please let us know in-laws are to be avoided at all costs especially when it comes to vacations no that's not a company spot that's my spot when I started at my new company we had used all assigned parking spots in the adjacent parking garage and I was given a spot in a building a couple of blocks away when I got in early one morning and had to be led in by security as the building was not yet unlocked I talked with a security guard briefly and this started a bit of a friendship after a week or so he asked why I always came through the front door instead of through the parking garage and I explained my situation he ended up giving me one of the extra spots that was assigned to the security staff I was only allowed to park there Monday through Thursday as they needed the spot for cleaning crews on Friday this spot is only about 20 feet from the pedestrian bridge to the building so it's a pretty nice setup we also have two company visitor spots in the same adjacent lot however they're at the top floor along with the rest of the spots assigned to our company exposed to the Sun and required walking down three flights to get to the pedestrian bridge we had a senior engineer visiting from a different office for the last two weeks parking in the visitor spot on Tuesday we went to our cars together and he saw where I was parked well when I got to work yesterday he was already in my parking spot I headed up to one of the visitor spots and let him know that he needed to move his vehicle out of my spot or his car might be towed we're right downtown and have many people who Park in this garage without permission he told me that it was fine don't worry about it it was a company parking spot and I could just stay in the visitor spot I told him that I really did not think that was a good idea and tried to explain but he brushed me off I followed up with an email letting him know that the spot was not leased by our company but that I just had special permission to park there until a spot opened in the garage I parked in my assigned spot in the other parking garage boss man does not like non-visitors parking in the visitor spot so I was not about to stay there and didn't worry about it just like I was told well come lunchtime senior engineer comes storming back into my office apparently security guards saw that the vehicle parked in my spot was not my crappy Civic but rather a Tesla and decided to have the vehicle towed not exactly sure what came of this and I bet I'll find out later today but I'm happy that I sent the cover yourself email as senior engineer outranks me by a considerable margin and I don't need anyone thinking that I left him high and dry out of spite I should note that while we have spots assigned to our company each vehicle gets assigned its own spot occasionally we will have people Park in our assigned spots and Security will call our office to confirm if this is someone we are allowing to park there or if this is someone parking improperly so if it had been a company spot senior Engineers assumption would have been correct we got no such call and security guard does not have my personal number update not the satisfying update I was hoping for at all apparently senior engineer called and complained to building management he explained the situation and it turns out that security did not have the authority to allow me to park in this spot sounds like security guard got chewed out and I'm really hoping this didn't impact his job I lost my parking in the close garage boss man is not upset with me which is the only good thing about this senior engineer was complaining to anyone who would listen he's such a victim no idea who had to pay toll fees but I'm pretty confident that senior engineer did not bring that security guard and I'm sorry cake or something similar they were looking out for you and got burned do something nice in return now you get to be HOA president about 25 years ago my parents built their dream house although the house is now in the middle of a large Metroplex when they built it it was in the fringes of the countryside with rapid development over two decades when they bought the lot they were the first to purchase from the developer the developer sold to three original neighbors my parents plus two others all at the end of the cul-de-sac in a row the other streets in this plat became a large subdivision with a fancy name that would come to Bear a lot of prestige but that meant being part of an HOA they didn't want that the developer wouldn't sell them the land without an HOA if you aren't part of the community you'll need to form your own HOA and get it approved so my dad with a huge grin said he would be the HOA president of our single Suburban Street he and the two neighbors drafted the bylaws of their own HOA and strict accordance with the planned neighborhood but they added a special provision that the president of the HOA could name a success instead of having the street vote on one absent a majority rejection the successor would be the president essentially trying to avoid terms and campaigning while still offering folks a way to dispute the HOA president important for later so in the winter of 1994 my father very seriously took the thick black CD binder full of laminated and hole punched instructions and pages on how to be a good HOA president and put that binder in the very back of a cabinet and forgot about it for the next 16 years the homeowners of our street were not asked to pay an annual fee and the HOA didn't police number of cars colors of front doors or any other ridiculous standards HOAs enforce and it was quite a cul-de-sac no one did anything more egregious than the occasional Reckless teenager then a new family built a house across from us it consisted of two kids a husband and a stay-at-home mom we'll call Gladys Kravitz for the Bewitched fans now Gladys was a real busybody she would stand at the front window of her house to watch and Patrol which cars were using the cul-de-sac to turn around when houses down the street held events and parties and were using the front of her house to park for literally a night and sending noise complaints to the police about barking dogs her other neighbor's kids there were six in a blended family the other neighbor's cars they were collectors not even repairing cars and other ridiculously Petty things she didn't have a job so safety patrol became her whole identity she would always hurry over to gossip whenever my mom was taking out the trash cans to the curb sadly my dad contracted a neuromuscular disease in 2005. it got bad quickly and he was confined to a wheelchair I learned to drive from my hardship license in a handicap van and we had more than the usual number of cars due to round-the-clock caregivers in the later years Gladys decided it was time to offer help to my poor mother who was slaving absurd hours just to keep creditors at Bay Gladys very sweetly approached expressed her sympathies for our struggles pointed out the number of cars in our driveway and generously so generously offered to take over the president of the HOA duties if my father would name her successor after being hounded the sixth or seventh time and glad is hinting that if my mom was struggling so much maybe she should send my Dad to hospice and move houses to somewhere more suited in fact Gladys best friend was looking for a house and would love to live across the street and buy our house my mom snapped she basically told Gladys to stop asking and that her husband was passing and it was incredibly insensitive and rude to offer to kick us out of the neighborhood and take over just because she wanted clout to annoy the Neighbors about letting kids play basketball after 6 pm Gladys responded nastily that my dad would have to name a successor because when he passed which would be soon the HOA presidency would revert back for election okay then Gladys you're absolutely right my dad should name someone the HOA president as his successor after his 16-year Reign malicious compliance activated after my dad passed my mom found out she was named as the next HOA president and my dad's will dad never said anything about it while he was alive but his humor was always understated Gladys tried to overturn the successor claim and run against my mom but nobody else on the street contested the choice no one all new neighbors after 20 years even knew he had a special single Street HOA and for another nine years my mom did absolutely nothing as HOA president my mom had to sell the home in 2019 very unwillingly as it was the house my parents built together but with the development of the city property taxes had risen too high and priced her out I took a week off work to fly out and help her pack and while packing up the house we found my dad's OG 1994 HOA binder bylaws and all and of course mom had the name an HOA successor so this time she did comply the malicious part was more against everyone else very ceremoniously my mom finally named Gladys the president of the HOA and gave her the binder which apparently has long since been digitized and something Gladys has been reading for fun in preparation of this moment apparently Gladys went rabid with the power as her kids had gone off to college and proudly charged everyone on the street 100 a month towards neighborhood incidentals supposedly for mowing the strip that people just mowed themselves and a highly encouraged neighborhood barbecue one Saturday a month to address the neighborhood concerns she also outlawed basketball hoops and driveways dictated no cars could be parked on the street or in driveways but only in garages things like landscaping and holiday Decor approval and other inane absurd power trips my mom kept her next door app open and watched Gladys go down in flames three separate households moved and wrote long angry call out posts about Gladys making their lives a misery until they couldn't stand it anymore that's three of 12 houses by the way yeah Gladys wrecked the single Street HOA with a quarter loss Gladys got everything she wanted my dad to name an HOA successor my mom to name an HOA successor for us to move away and for her to finally be HOA president and now no one likes her and no one will pay her 100 a month or go to the barbecues and before my Mom finally deleted the street from her next door it seems that the rest of the street had voted to hold an election for a new HOA president her tenure lasted six months Gladys doesn't understand why people talk so fondly about my parents as the most ideal HOA Presidents since they never did a thing my mom is two years into her new home and does not miss the neighborhood anymore at all edit okay so everyone is super mad at my mom for ruining many lives like Syndrome from The Incredibles let me explain how the handoff slash nomination went the moving truck is coming in one hour and we still haven't cleaned out all the shelves in this study what do we do just start throwing things in boxes mom and here's a trash bag for old chords and papers oh my word your father's old HOA binder toss it no we can't I think this is supposed to to be kept by the city or something mom we don't have time we can mail it to this city or something hun run it over to Gladys Mom are you sure she's always been bugging me about it she can keep it now run I then literally tear down stairs Race Across The Street ring the doorbell shove the binder into Gladys hands with a my mom says this is yours now bye and raced back to find the Christmas decorations we're still in a forgotten cabinet and need to be thrown in a trash bag literally zero premeditation and 100 aggravated meltdowns about moving I cannot stress how much my mom did not want to move I took out a lot of the emotional Parts originally in the draft as not necessarily limiting word count my dad built her that house the first night in that new house she as a 58 year old woman cried until 4am begging to go home she loved our neighborhood our street and our house she did not try to ruin the neighbor's lives we didn't know anyone left on the street by that point anyway they had all been priced out and moved on except Gladys the end line is kind of a throwaway saying my mom is doing much better now and she doesn't miss Gladys at all I do feel bad for all those folks driven out by Gladys dumb rules but I'm also going to say the high property taxes probably didn't help if I ever won the lottery the first thing I would do would be to buy our old house back put it in trust and let my mom live there for the rest of her life anyway to the commenter saying my dad was a legend he absolutely was I still don't understand why you would give her the HOA and make your neighbors lives miserable for those six months I'm not seeing the malicious compliance here just mom annoying their fellow good neighbors and caving to a Karen what did the Neighbors ever do to your mom to deserve Gladys as the HOA president how is giving Gladys what she wanted Revenge no ma'am you can't have it for free I was working the register in the garden area on one of the 90 plus Degree Days a few weeks ago not a lot of people come through the area they grabbed their plants and head straight back inside don't blame them I would too if I could since all I had was a fan in water this little old lady walks up and I start ringing her out she starts talking to me about her day tone is neutral and we move on to ringing in payment after that is when she hits me with this lady no one came to help me with the soil me they didn't lady I had to call one of your workers to put it in my cart me internal thoughts isn't that the same thing he was helping another customer lift something into their car me oh I'm sorry about that he's been a bit busy helping out other people today and cleaning up lady gives me a long measured look what do I get me sees where this is leading to um nothing if you want to talk to a manager you're free to but they're inside lady stands there contemplating my answer as I finish wringing her stuff up and I place it in her cart lady can I have a discount me no but I have to wait in this heat me I can't give you a discount for that reason alone the lady looks over at her plans critically what about that planned are any of these on sale no lady thinks a little longer some of these leaves are falling out makes vague motion to the plant I'm getting annoyed at this point ma'am their plans if you want to pick out another one that's fine but leaves can get knocked off if they're being moved around it's not going to hurt the plant unless you're ripping them out by the fistful lady gives me a dirty look before pain once she's done pain she continued to stand there staring at me I just stared back at this point I'm not sure if she was waiting for me to Cave or was trying to establish some kind of tactic to intimidate me but my mindset at this point was I was paid to be there she wasn't well can I get a free water points at the water bottles me that's it kid gloves are off no we don't give out free water you're welcome to buy one but I'm not giving it to you how much are they two dollars and some change the lady at this point scoffed and shook her head again continuing to gaze at me she made another comment I can't remember but at this point I just greeted her with silence and no it wasn't the mature thing to do but I think she even realized at this point she was just playing for time to annoy me I then sat back down at my register grabbed the book I have been reading and went back to it since there really wasn't much more I could do for myself or her eventually she left making another comment about me being mean for not giving her a free water bottle as she made her way to her car not super exciting just tiring if you don't like it you can leave disclaimer this isn't my story it belongs to a colleague who says I can put it on the internet for some internet points and some of the details may be a little lost or exaggerated background two businesses both alike in trade and fair UK industrial Estates where we lay our scene from ancient deals break to new Mutiny where new owner's blood makes old civil hands unclean the story comes from an employee of company a who manufactured product a and across the industrial estate there was Company B who produced product B now both businesses had started up independently about 20 years previously both companies could have reverse engineered each other's products fairly easily and had most of the major Machinery to begin production however both of the owners had met early on and came to a gentleman's Arrangement where they each agreed not to produce each other's products and would endorse each other's business if clients needed the other products both had had pretty decent success and there was a very friendly rivalry between the two companies example they each had amateur football teams local pub quiz teams Etc but a lot of cooperation too example borrowing staff to fix each other's machines however all good things must come to an end the owner of company a was retiring and selling up from what I can gather the owner was a pretty decent bloke and had tried to put a all staff guaranteed their jobs for 12 months claws into the sale of the business he'd had a few offers including the owner of Company B again another decent bloke I think he had offered 80 percent of the asking price however on the last day of offers a southern company offers him 125 percent of the asking price though with the 12-month Clause removed understandably the owner took this offer because well who wouldn't he did promise that he would give each of the employees a glowing reference if they ever needed it these new owners came with a swath of new policies targets the whole shebang at first they targeted the sales team with impossible to reach quotas excessive management over the top time keeping you get the picture it was miserable for them understandably most of the team except two had quit and been replaced by the time they refocused on the production team first they came with demands for faster production then pushed hard against downtime started buying in shoddier materials which increased wastage as they broke more often at the same time they shouted about wanting lower damage rates they also wanted them to reverse engineer product B which was done but deliberately at a snail's pace now on to the action let's introduce Tom Tom was the manager of the entire production team of 14 staff he'd been the first employee ever hired by the company and knew everything about everything in the business and was exceptionally good at his job about nine months since the Takeover the entire production team was dragged into a morning meeting with these new owners who proceeded to berate the entire team for being lazy expensive and useless blah blah blah eventually Tom and had enough of it he told them in no uncertain terms that the reasons for damages going up was because of their worst materials that pushing the staff without the downtime breaks was causing more staff fatigue increasing illness and damaged goods Etc he calmly rebuffed each and every criticism leveled at his team this wound up the new owners who got increasingly frustrated with them eventually the lead new owner shouted at him if you don't like it you can always leave so Tom left the room without another word everyone and from the staff to the owners was completely shocked staff couldn't believe he'd abandoned them owners that anyone would be stupid enough to walk out the meeting was finished about 10 minutes later the staff returned to their production unit Tom isn't there his car is gone he won't answer his phone the next day nothing vanished late in the afternoon the day after the production assistant manager gets a text from Tom it's brief all staff Pub 530 intriguing at 5 30 they all duly file into the pub filled with mystery and excitement sitting in one of the large booths is Tom and a friend the owner of Company B quickly seated and brought drinks it turns out when the owners told Tom to leave he did but he wasn't just prepared to leave and leave it at that no siree since the meeting Tom had explained the entire situation to owner B including they were trying to make his product assumedly to compete and push him out of business owner B was not impressed he had extended an olive branch of peace to the new owners at the start but they refused to even speak with him so both with access to grind they'd come to an arrangement owner B would hire all of the production team on terms relatively similar to what they already had if they had come and make product a for him said to go away and think about it which they did until the end of the week all agreed they'd prefer to work for owner B and even convinced him to extend the offer to the two surviving members of the sales team since since they knew the client base and the sales pattern Monday morning 9 A.M 17 letters of resignation 14 staff plus Tom plus two sales are hand delivered to the new owners and their Ivory Tower office under the terms of the contract any production staff who resigned were immediately to be removed from the premises assumedly to stop any sabotage though the two sales had to continue with their notice period panicking the owners pled with the team not to leave to serve some notice period train some new staff anything Tom and true cinematic style stops he turns part way around I believe your last words to me were if I don't like it I could always leave and he walks out the door aftermath company a simply couldn't find anyone who could produce the products without any training and since they had no idea on training anyone themselves production came to a crashing and permanent halt all of the orders became unfulfillable so they had no choice but to cancel and where needed refund any orders placed their entire Revenue stream just dried up with no choice left they had to shutter the business down they did have to sell off the Machinery a fair portion of which made a short Journey Across The Company B at knockdown prices we did try to do some rough math and our best estimate is that the new owners lost 60 to 70 percent of the money they had invested in the business the sales survivors managed to secure a vast majority of the previous business from company a including several of the canceled orders with that secured it meant most of the revenue started to flow into Company B ensuring that the entire staff could continue to work there whilst the original owner of a was sad to hear his business had to be shut down so soon he was delighted that many of his staff had secure work with his old business rival and friend he did visit occasionally and always was warmly received moral of this story don't tell anyone to leave unless you can survive without them how dare I have better grades than my sister this happened I think when I was 12. I always did fairly well in school but my sister not so much I knew she could do better but she really didn't try all that hard then she'd be unhappy when she'd get low grades on a test she didn't fail much but got a lot of D's one of the few things my parents and I ever actually agreed on together was trying to give my sister pep talks to try harder in school my mom had a very my princess can do no wrong personality but she still seemed to want my sister to succeed in school so she forced me to help sister with her homework when I wasn't busy I didn't mind helping with the homework but sister didn't make helping her easy she'd get mad if I didn't just do the homework for her and yes my mother did outright try a few times to make me do my sister's homework for her but my dad shut that down fast so my sister would get bored easily and go play video games when I didn't just give her the answers so I stopped trying to help since she wouldn't listen not long after this my sister failed several assignments in a row and my parents forced her to do her homework before gaming which really made her upset but but she complied not long after this I got my annual report card and all my grades were pretty decent when I presented the report card to my mother my sister suddenly got upset and left the room I asked Mom what that was about and she scolded me saying how dare you rub your success in your sister's face I was a bit flabbergasted because this had never been an issue before and said I wasn't doing that at all my mother then waved her finger in front of my eyes and said it was my fault sister was so unhappy because she's trying to do better in school and I was bringing her down by being too happy about my report card around her I grew some backbone and said that all I did was do good in school I wasn't flaunting anything plus how is it a crime to be too happy well I guess that was the wrong answer to her because she immediately sent me to my room and said I wasn't getting any dinner dad was late getting home that night so I went hungry till he got back when I told him what had happened he called my mother out she started lying through her teeth and said I was bragging about my grades and flaunting them at my sister by waving the report card in her face and my sister backed up my mom on this lie my parents ended up fighting because my dad didn't believe what my mother was saying like my sister she was a terrible liar in her own way whenever she lied she'd always get over dramatic about every little detail and often couldn't keep the story straight without holes being poked in it so dad knew I was the one telling the truth mom was upset that Dad didn't believe her and then he scolded her like a kid for sending me to my room without dinner over something that wasn't even my fault he then told her to apologize to me she rolled her eyes and gave me a really fake sounding I'm sorry and then stormed outside to cool off on the patio my dad then made me a late dinner to make up for what my mom did he also grounded my sister from video games for a few days for lying to him and that made her scream and follow Mom outside got to have a good dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and Campbell's tomato soup that night something I still enjoy making and eating to this day about a year or so after this my sister copied a book report I did in elementary school and my mother let her get away with it but that's another story for another post support our Channel by joining as a member today and we'll give you a shout out in our next video or come watch this video next you won't believe what Karen does in that one

Channel: r/mr redder

Views: 66,034

Keywords: reddit, entitled people, r/entitledpeople, entitled peoples stories, r/entitledparents rslash, entitled, reddit funny stories, rslash entitled people, entitled people top post, funny karen stories, karen story, entitled stories, entitled karen, entitled people reddit, reddit entitled people, entitled mom, entitled mom stories, entitled parents, horrible karen stories, karen freakouts, r/, karen freaks out, hoa, reddit podcast, aita reddit stories podcast, reddit podcast stories

Id: F4k0_shiWaE

Length: 192min 40sec (11560 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 10 2023