r/EntitledParents - Entitled Mom Uses EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION...

this entitled mum believes that because she is getting older she deserves more respect she even thinks she ranks the younger members of her family and can boss them around but one thing will cause her shocking wake-up call happy birthday today's your birthday on with the revamp show going to mix things up a bit i've been running ragged with overtime at work to get a bit more spending cash for the upcoming holidays and six family birthdays this winter but due to some recent events i've been stewing about writing more on reddit but today was the straw that broke the camel's back linda's stories are taking a time out time to talk about my mum yes my biological mother so i've mentioned in the past that i have a mum who is entitled most of her entitlement comes from her cultural roots she is korean and in their culture and society as you grow older and have children you gain rank in the family level up to you gamers the higher of your level of importance goes as you gain seniority in the family and you impose expectations demands and rules for everyone to follow to make sure everything meets your standards my mum did not have a happy childhood she is a survivor of tuberculosis and had to endure the negative stimulus of being a girl in asian society after getting married to my dad and moving to the united states and experiencing the freedoms allowed to her as a woman this opened new doors of opportunity but the cultural doors in her head remained closed set in their ways and students self-important entitlement today's story will reflect on an event that occurred today but it's something that has been boiling in a pot for the past three weeks things came to a head and the pot exploded like a pressure cooker with a crack in it the cast me the unworthy sister my older sister somewhat worthy b.i.l brother-in-law niece my youngest niece and mom yep that's her so a few weeks ago my mum injured her shoulder and had surgery on it to try and repair the damage she would not tell me what she did to injure herself but i found out from my sister it was from a skiing accident later results from the surgery said the damage was permanent and it could not be fully repaired but she should be able to recover with little pain after some time the surgery itself was a non-emergency and my sister had accompanied her to and from the hospital so at the time i knew she was in good hands i already had scheduled overtime with work for the upcoming holidays so i told my sister that i would not be available immediately if mum needed help and instructed her to call my husband if any assistance was needed this wasn't good enough for my mum my mum instead demanded that i be called in addition my mum demanded that i call in to check on her daily to make sure she was okay i said i would try and call if i could unfortunately i work an early morning shifts starting at 5am so i am typically awake at 3am to get ready by the time i get home it's basically a routine to eat some food and then pass out i would forget to call because of this my sister eventually called after a week and said that mum was angry that i hadn't called her so looking at the time it was after 10 pm i needed to get back to sleep but i texted mum and said hey mum i know it's late and i'm sorry i haven't called i've just been a bit run down from work and pulling some overtime i'll call you tomorrow i hope you are recovering well from the surgery true to my word i called her the next day it rang and rang and i got voicemail i left her a message to let her know i was thinking about her and hoped she was well i never got a call back the next day i called again once again i got her voicemail so i left her a message to let her know i was thinking about her and hoped she was well i never got a call back again i knew these signs this was her giving me the silent treatment the same silent treatment she used as punishment when i was six years old and to this day my mom likes to use mind games and reverse psychology to try and punish everyone from my sister and i to her grandchildren leading to tactics like guilt trips manipulation and public shaming my mom seems to think this is her best way to get her way and make everyone take fault and ask for her forgiveness unfortunately for her the next generation does not receive these tactics well and we do not follow the path she has laid before us these tactics haven't worked on me since i was 12 and it has always led us to butting heads back to the story however so since mom was not taking my calls or returning them i decided fine i'll let mum have her space if she wants to talk then we'll talk when she is ready perfectly logical i thought this was not what mum wanted it seems my mum wanted me to feel guilty and call and call and call until it seemed i was desperate to talk to her and make sure she was okay only then would she finally see me as redeemed and would answer a call expecting me to apologize and beg for forgiveness when i didn't call after my initial text and two call attempts this served to only enrage her she established that i didn't care at all and that i must never think of her this became a permanent fixture in her mind i did have some second thoughts to try and call her again but knowing how stubborn my mum is i felt i would still give her time until she was ready to talk in the meantime i was talking to my sister about plans for thanksgiving i did ask how mum was since my sister was not banished from speaking with her like i was aside from letting me know she was alright and recovering slowly my sister did indicate that mum was pretty upset with me and i knew it was going to be a struggle and a fight to come it always is seems as time went on my sister got busy with work and she wasn't able to call on a daily basis mum started up a grudge against my sister then her grandkids didn't call either mom started up a grudge against them my husband never called heck i have a hard time getting him to call his own parents on holidays and birthdays and she started a grudge against him pretty soon my mum now had every member of our immediate family under a hate banner proclaiming that none of us loved her we never thought about her well-being and that none of us cared about her that we are all just selfish and self-absorbed because we are not calling her the start of this week we had a big snowstorm come through about 12 inches overnight with an additional 12 inches the next day everyone was pretty snowed in my sister called me saying we should try and help mum since she's still stuck at home and can't get her driveway plowed as an act of goodwill i agree to go so i jumped in the car with my sister brother-in-law and niece with a couple of snow shovels and a two gallon can of gas for a snowplow and off we went now my mum lives on the outskirts of town on a 5-acre property and her driveway leads from a private property fence about 150 feet approximately up to her house her snowplow was in her garage but we needed to trudge through two plus feet of snow just to get to the house upon getting there we were greeted with mum to my sister i told you not to come i know but here we are we're going to dig you out mum looks at me angrily who are you you're welcome where's the plow and do you have any extra shovels mom directed me to where the plow and shovels were i pulled the shovels out so we would have ready access to them and i pulled the snowplow out from its storage spot i open the garage door and let my brother-in-law have at it with the gas can sister and i started shoveling the snow on mom's front patio while brother-in-law took the snowplow out to blast away the 150 feet of driveway we worked from about 9am to 1pm to clear away the snow from the garage patio driveway fire escape and even dug a path up to her satellite dishes to clear them off so her tv reception was clear we even dug out a spot on her lawn so her dog had a spot to piddle and poo we were tired and hungry so mum decided to offer us some soup for lunch after all our hard work seemed like things were neutralizing and we could have had some decent visitation turns out this was a trap mum now had us in her home and sitting before her once we all had our balls of soup mum started laying the guilt trip on thick like spreading peanut butter over a cold bagel it is clear to me that none of you think of me no one called me to ask if i was okay i was hurt i am hurt i never thought it would come to this that my own daughters and my grandchildren would show me how much you didn't care mom that's ridiculous i called but i have a business to run and my children to take care of we all get caught up in our work i'm sorry well that's all fine for you but what about your son or you mum looks at me i just sit in silence waiting for my mum to finish with her rant and arguments with my sister she kept going on about how it is clear that no one cares and that we are all heartless and selfish mum also added in how she is so depressed and in pain and how we could never understand how she feels after she finally goes quiet is everyone finished everyone stops and looks at me mum looks appalled that i would speak with such a tone with such a reply to her complaints i'd like to say my piece now with no interruptions go ahead mum just glares at me i understand how you feel mom and i want you to understand something as well these assumptions and accusations you are making saying that we do not care that we do not think of you is bullcrap i am sorry i did not call you as soon as you wanted i am sorry that i've worked long hours and tend to pass out as soon as i get home but i did try i reached out to you you did not answer my calls you did not return my calls you pushed me away so i decided to give you your space until you were ready well of course i wasn't ready i didn't want to talk to you it was too late by then but that's the point you're pushing us away and you're not making any compromise you just want us to feel bad with these immature reverse psychological tactics you've used on us since we were kids they don't work mom you remember back when i was a teenager and i always had to call you and ask for some time with you or hope that you would call the show you thought of me or cared about me no i don't remember that but what about when i was 18 you were sick and asked me to come spend time with you i came with soup and some melon and i hung out with you for a few hours yes i remembered that but then you got a call from work and you told me to leave so you could go to work when before you were too sick to go out and you didn't want to be alone i asked you what was more important and you told me your work was more important because it puts food on your table do you remember that no i don't this is the exact same situation except now you're in my teenage shoes and from this perspective i can understand i do prioritize my work because of what i need it for but that does not mean i don't care about you why do you keep bringing up the past do you want me to apologize for what happened 20 years ago no i don't i was just using that as an example you obviously want me to apologize otherwise you would not have brought up what happened 20 years ago stop bringing it up i'm not yes you are all you can think of is that memory from 20 years ago i'm not constantly bringing it up you're the one who is now focused on it and trying to use it to make me feel bad i'm not trying to hurt you i just wanted to talk you have a freaking funny way to show it we go silent for a few i can see my nieces crying against my brother-in-law i can see there is just no getting through to mum but my sister tries to mediate then what could she have done after you wouldn't answer her calls there was nothing she could do it was too late i mean what could she have done to make it right if it was too late and you didn't want to talk how could any of us try to make it right i don't know if she hadn't come up here with you today then i probably would have never spoken to her again well then we did have to come no you didn't yes we did you just said that if she wasn't here today you would have never spoken to her again and what are the rest of us supposed to do if you just keep mulling away about this injustice about how we wronged you and you won't even give us a chance to be redeemed or reach out to us even a little then what well thank you for the life lesson i just hope none of you ever have to feel this way living in pain every day and hurt with depression i live in pain and fight off depression every day i don't want to hear it mom then stormed out of the room at this point my sister and brother-in-law head outside to finish up a patch of snow with the snow blower i give my niece a hug and apologize to her and that we should not have fought like that in front of her my niece hugged me back and said it was okay was just drama i said it was still something she should never have to witness and then i helped her clean up the soup dishes about halfway through the dishes my mum came back into the room and demanded that we all leave my niece quickly gathered all her things and anything left by my sister or brother-in-law and ran out to the car i put on my parker made sure all my things were with me as well i stopped and looked at my mum she refused to even look at me and just stared out her front window while holding her dog i called out to her we do care mum yeah whatever just go when you are ready you call us and then left and got in the car we drove down the cleared driveway while my sister gave out a sarcastic you're welcome shout before we drove out the privacy gate and headed back into town they dropped me off in my apartment and we still talked about our plans for thanksgiving tomorrow we're not going to let mum spoil it we're still going to have all the food and fixings if mum wants to come we don't know that she will but we'll feed her it's sad but unfortunately for some people they'd rather live and hold on to the bitterness then try and resolve something with someone who's genuinely sorry and wants to do better i don't believe that reconciliation is always possible there are some situations where it's just too complicated or one of the parties isn't really sincere in their attempts to reconcile in those situations i think it's better to have the space than continue an abusive relationship so if you're in a situation that's like this which i'm sure some of you are i don't think there's any right or wrong answer here if you think there's a chance of reconciliation i think that's always a good thing to go for but if the other person refuses to listen to you and the whole point of the relationship from their perspective is power and manipulation then no matter how hard you try there never is going to be reconciliation because that's not what they want anyway what do you guys think are you in a situation like this or do you know of a situation and what would you do submit your story to be read on the channel at voiceyherestories gmail.com and join our boise veteran community voicey here don't forget to like subscribe and hit that bell to never miss an episode alright blissy veterans i'll see you in the next one

Channel: VoiceyHere

Views: 8,389

Rating: 4.961165 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, VoiceyHere, VoiceyHere Stories, reddit cringe, reddit stories, r/entitledparents, entitled parents, entitled parents fresh, entitled parents reddit, entitled parents stories, entitled parents video, r/entitled, top posts of all time, rSlash, r/entitledparents rSlash, funny, funny reddit posts, r/, entitled parents caught on camera

Id: 3zmGMQgZSrQ

Length: 15min 9sec (909 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 08 2021