Hi Ren, thank you for coming in today. Thanks for seeing me. Looking at your file here it seems there's a very apparent interplay with your emotional state and your physical body. Have you ever heard of the trauma response? I don't think so. Basically our bodies can get stuck in a negative feedback loop Our subconscious can repeat patterns from the past which can have a pretty drastic downstream effect on our biology. Essentially your mind Is making you sick Sick boy, sick boy bitten by a tick boy looking for that fix boy, anabolic steroids Stem cells poster boy pass out, white noise, quick fix, snake oil I'm about to break boy Oh, what a shame, he's in pain, have another go, take another pill here, take a couple more, let's see how you're doing in another week or so you'll be feeling worse when the side effects will show De-realization, medical patient losing patience with the process walking hand in hand with Satan Complications with the medication inflammation, dehydration, inhalation aggravation, building up a toleration Drown sucker, drown sucker, drown sucker, drown I've been feeling like I'm drowning with my feet upon the ground I've been screaming I've been shouting but I never make a sound I've been looking for a way out but I always seem to drown. Is this all making sense, Ren? Um, yeah, I think so. Good. What I propose we do is we try to pinpoint the exact experiences from the past that are keeping you stuck. What can you tell me about your childhood? I can't really think. It's okay if nothing comes up right away. What I'd like you to do is take some deep breaths with me. In and out. In and out. Good. Now tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. I feel like it's not me, it's the world that's sick. We're given everything we need and we commoditize it. We consume, we destroy like we're parasitic. Science tells us that it's suicide and still we commit. I'm not sick, we are sick, we are standing on a cliff in the name of progress, we jump off the precipice. I'm not sick, I'm the virus, you're the virus, hypocrite. How can you sit there that smile on and tell me that I'm sick? Sick boy, sick boy, looking for a fix boy. Push it down in public, quick polls for the pick boy. Record label meetings that commodify your gift boy. Why you so upset? Don't you wanna be a rich boy? Fuck no, industry is cut throat. I've been doing bits by myself, swimming backstroke. Walking on a tightrope, rapping with a slit throat. The way that we persist is like the ending of a bad joke. As the people evolve, we're complacent to assailants and we do what we're told. Counter-intelligence, a sight to behold. Rape the earth of all resources and we bleed it for gold. And we bleed it for wealth we bleed it for fame. But when you bleed it, can you tell me what the fuck will remain? And I bleed in myself, I bleed in my brain. While I'm bleeding, I'm the reason, cause I'm doing the same.
