Rehabilitating Teen Offenders, And Their Families | Inside The Probation Service | Ep 3/3

daddy i never think drugs even my urine test shows that it's negative he's two things are taking drugs he will constantly tell me like oh your other friends are really important they graduated like do i not do i not see that like obviously i know that i'm affected by it by telling me like you're ashamed of you want to go grab yourself a tissue foreign there's something called the age crime curve when you hit 18 20 21 years old that sort of rage you have a peak in offending and usually from that point there'll be a gradual drop and by age 30 only the most hardcore offenders continue to reoffend probation is a second chance that we give to our young offenders there are a set of restrictions that they need to adhere to and there's restrictions sorry hey take the call [Music] hello yes can you slow down okay tell me what happened so when you opened it what did you see okay so i think the the best thing to do right now is just to contact the police best not to touch any of the items don't throw them just be very calm about it just explain that these are items that you found in the house so this is a 15 year old he's been placed on two years probation i just received a call from the mother telling me that she found some substances at home we suspect that it's probably cough syrup and there were peels at that age they could be impulsive they've got a lot of things could be going against them right because they are they're grappling with puberty they're grappling with independence so many developmental milestones that you have to navigate and sometimes it's not easy so this is not his first violation his first violation was in may where he flouted the circuit breaker measures we found out that he brought his friends home and i think that's a clear indication that he was testing the law [Music] it is a concern when we are talking about a 15 year old right and in this particular case his circle of friends are known to be older some of them are known to be using substances i think the the child is exhibiting that problematic behavior it's not just a child's problem it's also everybody's problem why is the young person behaving that way what is happening in the family and why it is happening in the family unless we understand why then we cannot address the problem in that sense you know [Music] so i don't like to study i see studying as like a waste of time and also friends are like on the day i want to go out they will just tell me oh we bought well go nbs bongo area right until very late to like six in the morning remember it's quite dangerous we have fun i have this case he's currently 17 years old and schooling he has multiple offenses one of the offenses that he has committed was actually stealing things from a shop i always go out with my friend like still over the house i won't go home like for four three days but we got no money ma and then the morrow shot the things off the dick i just stepped up and went and just got [Music] it [Music] i think i'll get caught when i was in hustle uh i never go back after for four days after that i seated in the isolation room for seven days a few days i started being claustrophobic i keep on bringing it up their room is really like i don't know [Music] i do not experience myself going to jail obviously i don't want a future lah this side i just think just turn over relief he's not your worthy so i've been with him for over a year right now i've been supervising him as the probation officer in charge currently i'm working with him on returning back to school knowing that this boy is already motivated to work on changes it's about setting clear and realistic goals that he can achieve for example ensure that he goes to school regularly i gave him a homework two weeks ago to think about three things that you can do to make sure that he won't behave in this manner which will get him into trouble in school what do you have to say about it [Music] obviously i need to change my behavior my uh tone or maybe like when they tell me something instead of not listening right now must listen i just don't like people telling you the teacher will talk to me like as though like they are very sarcastic then like they taught me like a bit rude or so loud i'll just stand up and question numbers like why why why me uh what's going on the worst type if they keep pestering me i would just shout them stop mistaking me like don't ask me ask someone else how are you sure that you're listening to your teachers by leaving the eye content also like money posture but the problem is it's easy to say but it's not easy to do [Music] once i see a teacher coming i'll be like i'll close my eye just take one deep breath if i burst out it will create more problem for my family my probation my mom will be devastated but if i keep my calm nothing will happen it just be a normal day and everything will be fine i kind of retained for two years like in my school so pretty messed up but i'm trying to keep track now i have to go i.t then from there i'll work my way step by step next year is his final year there's a lot of negative remarks food sleeping what do you mean by sleeping like sleeping in classes okay during lesson i need to start sleeping early lah which is going to be quite hard so what time do you sleep now now this 6 am so what are you going to do to make sure that you can sleep earlier from now onward let's give him a knock on the headlight we need to recognize that the family is integral for successful rehabilitation so in this boy's case uh the mother plays an important role to help him understand why is there a need to confirm or to comply with rules and this is important because if he's not disciplined it could result in problems with authorities so what can be done from today in onwards surrender the phone to mommy don't give me the smoke so you send under your phone to mommy i'll keep it for you next morning when i get up then i pass it back are you willing to do that should be cause without phone control i will be very bored that i can lose your sleep what can he do without getting himself further into trouble so in this case we cannot expect him to you know overnight behave very well immediately it's important to be specific yet realistic we believe they can change we believe they can change more so than the adult we see that they're malleable and we have a better chance because things are not set right these are their formative years we want to make sure that we break the cycle early on [Music] so this youth is 18 years old his main offense is staff type of motor vehicle plus riding it without a valid license i wouldn't pinpoint it to one reason certain pressure of planting certain things that experience has and also the pursuit of thrill the trill would act as a form of coping were unresolved stresses from family we realized that it is something that cannot be swept under the carpet anymore it's been going on for about three to four years how do you think i survived all these years problems left and right you know friends can't feel so alone and lonely you have given me that privilege and not to give up hope because i learned that mothers cannot give up hope the time when the child discovered that they are not yours that is the most heartbreaking moment i reached home and i showed my mom the parent particulars in my health booklet was a different name when i found out german adoption i found out i had three sisters since young i've wanted siblings the next day i stayed we went to meet them without telling my parents i went behind her back to meet my sister she didn't like it sometimes difficult issues people worry that if you talk about it it's going to crash the whole relationship so i think it took maybe weeks and months then i think they became more comfortable to talk about it i think for for the mom it comes from the fear he's very concerned about the youth's well-being the future you cannot repeat that mistake and what happens to your biological mother she almost died because the heart is giving program i went home with good intention to tell her the truth but then she got mad at me i regretted telling her history is staggeringly scary for me and i don't want you to fall and trapped by all this emotional turbulence you know hijack yo my son i took care of you since you're three days old all i wanted is for my adoptive parents to be supportive to be happy for me when he did he put me if they're good for you and they're beneficial for your happiness stability and security may always be good to them but you can choose to be close or far [Music] sometimes i feel like my parents they they won't understand and they will try to control me i don't like the idea try being in my shoes to understand how i feel then they they can help but i tell them also news you this girl asked me hey do you want to go and smoke i feel so proud telling her that i i don't smoke i don't have a lighter not only have i quit smoking i'm quitting dripping i felt so proud of myself she was someone who used to go clubbing frequently she used to abuse drugs father was not approving of her delinquent lifestyle finally now she's learning how to change she managed to find herself a job she's starting school this year she's already trying her best but the father is not recognizing it and affirming her it's always right always are constantly talking about the person that's one thing i cannot get if i want to be really bad i can say last time you used to keep me until i bleed you always asked me to go and kill myself last time this is last time that but does last time matter or not matter you want to talk about drugs am i doing it now i've been clean for two years plus i've been going for constant urine tests have i ever missed you interest no way i don't understand it in a situation where the relationship with the father is trained she might begin seeking relationship with negative peers instead so this might also mean that she goes back to her old habit which we do not want whatever that comes out from his mouth every single time but it's always something bad about me and you will constantly tell me like oh your other friends already live only they graduated like do i not do i not see that like obviously i know that like i'm affected by it by telling me like you're ashamed of me this and that it doesn't help [Music] you want to go grab yourself a tissue yeah it's okay [Music] this is why i sing comfort with friends they they don't contact me they actually push me a common sort of trend comes up from all the research that we've done is that family does matter a lot we're looking at parenting because it's not just the person it's the environment you put you in any environment that is not so good you're going to get influence but if we can help with the environment you have a better chance so i'm hearing from you that you're trying your best is that anything you can do better or not no i honestly think that i'm if he wants to see changes in me maybe he should start opening up his eyes so in this case when there's a lack of family support and because of these arguments at home we might arrange for a family session so that we can speak about some of these grievances in a safe environment [Music] how do you feel the entire session went for you you want to hear the truth the girl and the father are having consistent fights at home it's been like this since her teenage years that's the reason why we are having today's session for us to speak about what can they do to meet midway father has agreed to come down for a face-to-face session with the girl unfortunately the family is requested for privacy so i will be able to provide some updates after the session a few like really memorable moments in my life if i were to choose three i choose the day i found out i got sisters the day i met my sisters and the day my mom and dad suddenly asked me if i want to meet my mom it really took them a lot of time to accept it but my mom and my dad were the one who who suddenly came to me and i say like you want to meet your mom i do want to know what happened how everybody was feeling because it is a sensitive subject how was it okay i get to see her finally i didn't talk to her much lah because yeah both my mom's then how did it start like what do you say to your mom or did she something to you uh he was very shy can you imagine it could be that he was looking for on the lineage they encouraged them because on that day they said did you find it and you say yeah what did you find a sense of belonging i want to like finally establish a good relationship with both my parents and my biological mama kuran kangaroo do you mean by that what is it that both of you are struggling or quarreled about how frequent do you correspond with your mom sometimes maybe at least one week once uh earlier this week when i talk to parents about sensitive family issues uh one of the things i always hear is i don't know what to do i'm lost i think sometimes sessions might be the only time where they can express it getting their family members to hear each other tell you the truth i don't take it lightly because i'm your mother you know i took care of him for 18 years that respect must be there i don't want things to be done behind my back for too long he tries to be a good son to his parents but he also wants to establish a relationship with their natural parents so he's trying to do both things say for example on saturday how many days before are we i'm [ __ ] then sometimes he might feel a bit pulled on both sides it's a trend you know first of all and after that while we were talking she just shut the door i'm too tired sometimes my mom will ask me stuff that i sometimes don't know the answer to then she keep asking us you know i get annoyed i need [Music] speechless this is actually absence from work he was feeling very stressed yeah so that affected his focus i think a part of him feels lost lah he feels lost on how he can handle things in a manner where it makes everybody happy so that can be overwhelming for him i'll give you all this stress right you need to find a healthy coping you mechanism down you might have some tools in your bonnet or whatever to help you yeah what is yours [Music] we look at a huge sample of youth who have offended in singapore three thousand overuse over a number of years youth who have had who have experienced poor parenting relatively poor supervision from their parents get arrested and get charged at a much earlier age and what happens is when they come into the system they tend to also reoffend faster i wanted to update you about the family session that we had it did not go as well as we expected it to be everyone got daddy i emotional seek drugs i never do this i never do that he still think i do even my urine test shows that he's negative he's still thinking i'm taking drugs i have kept all my promises if that is not enough to reassure him when we were trying to speak to father he was not ready to listen his father kept focusing on her weaknesses the girl was also crying throughout the session so we had to terminate the session prematurely possibly father is concerned because he's not familiar with her friends so something that she can look into is you know maybe possibly to introduce her friends to the father actually she does share with father whenever she meets a new friend she spends time with people who are either working or schooling activities has also changed recently she also went to playing with her friend at the beach as compared to you know previously with the substance abuse how are you today what have you been up to looking for opportunity looking for opportunity as in job is it yeah job and also to see how can i do better to have a better family the father is a single parent so he's a single parent of the girl and her brother so currently because of the kovit situation he was recently retrenched how do you feel the entire session went for you you want to hear the two basically all the sessions come true it's already held matcha [Music] she has been working regularly and um she's trying her best to stick to the curfew of 10 pm it would be very helpful if you begin acknowledging that um she is trying may not maybe not 100 yet sometimes i don't like to do all these things many times i use very strong words i would be spoiled as my daughter i would not go and see you again i'm a guy and a father and i'm a very tough guy so what i'll do my very best to control myself and my age i still need to learn change takes some time and we can't force change although he is resistant we do see that he is trying so he still attends these sessions at the end of the day so we were not able to contact the mum for a few days and the family had explained that she has went out and not returned home so the number you're trying to reach is currently actually the mom has not been home for the past four days so we also like to checking on what has happened i was calling the mom because our home visit is supposed to be at 3 pm it's already 3 41 so we just want to make sure that she's coming back home so when there are things that happen within the family what we do first is to find out as much information as we can what happened what caused the mother to be absent the last thing that we want was for conflict to arise during the discussion [Music] he mentioned to me that you have not been at home for these past few days asking this the first time like one day okay nothing but this first time i just want them to realize four days around there weird let us hold on for a while he let him finish first you didn't know when was mom coming back what else like what was she doing she'd be full you know like is she safe madam it's a surprise to us because over the one year of working with you you have not been absent from your house for so long so on our side i mean i also want to share i was very concerned like what happened to you do you meet with an accident where were you in and stuff like that i'm contactable always you know okay yes okay but the thing was that you couldn't get through your handphone [Music] don't worry that i will never abandon my children okay i know i know you love your children a lot but right now is to show them this conversation is really about problem solving we direct a conversation to the problem rather than a person she had a group of friends who offered to bring her out for a while however she forgot to inform her family members i'm not angry or anything i mean like she wants to have fun she's a timeout okay la gola but one thing is tell us before go out because when i came back from another house i never seen my mom until today madam understand that you need a break sometimes it's not easy to manage everything by yourself i think all of us do need to take a break we call it self-care [Music] i received a call from the mother highlighting to me that there was a huge argument between her and the son which led to her you know deciding to call the police in in the midst of the arguments and exchange of you know harsh words to each other unfortunately the son also said that you know he would hurt the mother he actually said that he would slash her so in this particular case i told the mother you really need to walk away and lock yourself in the room there's been multiple violations already every week we are seeing him violating the curfew so we came in and issued him a verbal warning later on there was another incident where he didn't come home despite us coming in to address this we are seeing no change [Music] at the start he was pretty receptive to the family but the mother has always been very cooperative with us what does he keep reaching his conditions even though he knows it's wrong and we have always spoke to him about it in some of our discussions with him regarding his current circle of peers he was very protective of them he wasn't willing to share information about them just wondering how did he manage to get the substances that he's abusing he used a social media platform to reach out to this supplier it was actually hand delivered and passed to him through the window where the room is actually facing the main corridor so even then when we explored just a simple movement of facing him in a different room he was not receptive to that and even though he's standing for unit testing he's not willing to go right yes i think this is where the mother struggles to help him sustain his good behavior so at the end of the panel discussion the probationer might continue on in his probation but then there is also the other consideration whereby we have to revoke his probation his life will be disrupted in the sense that he's going to be residing in a structured environment right like the singapore boys home it's quite a struggle emotionally because we put our heart and soul in the work that we do right and then when we see them not doing very well it is very tough [Music] [Music] do what do you think are some of the stresses that they are facing at home initially there were a lot of blame and negativity coming from mom towards the boy mom actually used harsh words to talk to the boy like mom would call him stupid or dumb the family is also facing a lot of financial stresses to the point that there are times where they are not able to afford basic needs like food as well as electricity some of these sessions with myself as well when mom's breakdown when she feels very upset the children will not do anything they will not show any reaction things could tense up very fast because of the poor communication and we need to help them to understand that you know this has to change i know recently you went for this chalet right and then but you didn't tell me about it how did you felt when mom didn't tell you so i never thought that my mother would do this yeah so it's scary [Music] we have been working with the family members individually for example with the boy through my regular sessions with him for the mother with the family service center social worker [Music] but that's not enough they have this communication issues that has them since his former devious why do you always come home so late give you a phone for what you don't call you don't look at the time if your mum were to say that to you how would you feel shocked and a bit angrier you'll be angry you probably won't listen to her because you're already angry at that moment [Music] so instead of saying that we want to change into a more helpful way of talking is using i statements i feel sad i feel angry i feel happy so it's a failing word and then the second part is the because i part it's where you express your concern because i am worried i know recently you went for this chalet right and then but you didn't tell me about it actually i wanted to teach you to know a lesson when mommy is there you all treat me invisible how do you felt when mom didn't tell you so i never thought that my mother would do this yeah and scared her it's very targeted it does not address problems individually because it gets the family members to come together and share their problems it's also very powerful my son has felt that i'm not listening to him oh i need to change my way and he gets the mother to realize that so after hearing him sharing his concern that he feels scared how do you feel um happy that lisa think of me not say like just forget about me you know i know the offending for me i know that they will find for me or a listing for five minutes ten minutes and it sounds like that's like a powerful message to you because i love them lah i love them a lot if i'm about to steal something uh before i even touch something uh family was just popping right if you do this then you can record you can't remember the family just family family family anything wrong like it's about to happen like i think about family first i don't want to be away from them i don't want to be in a place that i cannot contact physically touch them like hug them so after going through more than a year i think what the family can recognize now is that they have differences but they can communicate this to one another it's still a work in progress as we recognize that the mom can still feel stress at times when she feels that she's not being listened to i usually don't share my problem with them because i don't want to make them think so much of solar no i remember we had one family session your son said even if i cannot solve the problem i want to know because i care moving forward what's going to happen is that we will continue to do a lot of chatting with you because we are very concerned about how you are doing [Music] like sometimes people will see us in the other they'll see our case so you cannot help can i help when i got my published officer then she helped us she followed through step by step she walked with us all the way she helped me my school helped me with my financial problems at home helped my kids to get a job to help my mom as well i see that they care because she will do whatever it takes to help they want us to do well with probation they want us to finish they also want us to pursue in life [Music] three in five of the youth who come into probation the likelihood of reoffending actually goes down it's a substantial number that tells us that something in probation must be working it was my dad's birthday everyone seems better like at a better state of mind me and my dad don't understand each other i think he has a different way of thinking yeah i guess my dad has this habit of being in a state of negativity i'm thankful that the session happened so that things got better after that well i wrote him a card i also have to understand that that is my father he has been taking care of me since my mom left you know he could have just did the same thing as my mom but he didn't ever i think that left the it's actually at the bare minimum i can give i i just always remember like he's my dad and he's done a lot of good things for me what was the first thing that you noticed that was different oh my dad just stopped talking about the past like completely like stop right so that's great i think this is something that we've been working on since you're start of probation you're so funny i must need that session like that then then can stop it i don't understand why do you think that um he has decided to like change maybe like he he realized that not only me like other people are telling him that like the thing about my dad is right he need other people to tell him if i tell him you don't believe me you are gonna be done with probation in june so we are more than halfway through it so let's look at things that you have achieved [Music] these four months i've just been cutting a lot of contacts with people they're just not good for me so like why sacrifice all that that i've just built just because i want to go party for a few hours it's just not worth it i'm so proud of myself i don't even need anyone to tell me that i can just tell myself that so how does it feel like to no longer take validation from others honestly it feels great i read this book it actually taught me that i don't have to seek any sort of validation from anybody [Music] it was a lot of like wanting my dad to recognize what i do and i'm doing it because i don't want him to think like i'm a bad person i strongly believe there is good in people and my job is to identify this good and then subsequently get them to recognize this good for themselves as well because if i constantly feed on people's recognition and their validation right i will always be unhappy it would always seem never enough [Music] if i didn't get caught right none of the opportunities that were given to me will be there my company offered a place overseas i'm one of the lucky ones that got shortlisted he's a five-year traineeship program where i become an apprentice for a really big company they mentioned the play was good the experience would be good like very thankful yeah let's start he was unsure on how to share with his parents i don't know how to do it i'm scared [Music] how do you progress again your biological mother that's good i mean at least you remember that something that your mom requested again 100 of the world is listening you have better communication everybody's happier my dad see last time you always fly out at the smallest things now you passion you talk nicely actually you feel thankful that i got caught because i really need someone to help me go the right way [Music] you

Channel: CNA Insider

Views: 187,582

Keywords: CNA, CNA Insider, Channel NewAsia, People stories, Asian perspective, Inside The Probation Service, documentary, probation, Singapore, probation service, youth, crime, rehabilitation, probation officer, criminal record, second chance, offence, prison, addiction, probationer, youth offender, community service, sexual offender, counselling

Id: 24iqIod3Y1E

Length: 46min 53sec (2813 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 05 2021