Regular Car Reviews: 2014 BMW S1000RR

2012 BMW s1000 Double R here comes a German joke there's a big engineering convention and we have Germans here Japanese here Italians here everybody else and each different group of Engineers from different countries were coming up and showing whatever latest and greatest device or piece of design they had a group of Japanese engineers come up and they have in their hand an electric drill and they proudly say to the audience we have developed a smallest drill bit imaginable this is gonna revolutionize and increase the precision of all engine designs from here on out and the crowd goes woo ah very oh of course yes this is wonderful a German engineer raises his hand and says may I come up on stage oh sure come up on stage have a look at this so the German engineer comes up on stage and he asked me I see this tiny drill bit and the Japanese engineers take the tiny little drill bit with a pair of tweezers and use the tweezers hands it's the German engineer the German engineer takes in looks at it and pulls out his own electric drill with his own little drill bit and drills a hole straight down the middle of the other drill bit and turns it into a sippy straw hands it back to the Japanese engineer and says needs work this new review is not a car nothing can beat an old r1 my friend by far except for this it is the past for speeding power you are roses go rest remember how the Hayabusa won the Speed Wars even though now Kawasaki has this supercharged claimed 300 horsepower bike now Hayabusa is still king in North America because of the agreement will kawasaki choose to obey the agreement with the new single-seat love letter to computer-aided design and ghost rider videos I don't know mmm-hmm anyway after the Hayabusa motorcycle manufacturers had to use something other than top speed to vaudeville customers into showrooms handling and acceleration were the new show pigs for a post restriction world so rakes got shorter and tires got wider and engine sizes went back to just under one leader to cut weight Suzuki has their own GSXR 1000 and that's a fine sport bike but Along Came Yamaha and the r1 the R one was the summit of factory tuning and it had another secret weapon Valentino Rossi was riding for Yamaha and MotoGP and he was winning every eighteen-year-old who passed the MSF course one and an r1 because who could beat an r1 who can beat the doctor no one nothing nothing beats an r1 oh here comes BMW here comes BMW with an uptight B speckled joke not getting a symmetrical face meticulously planned demonstration of patient engineering and it beat the r1 the R one makes 180 horsepower at the crank and the BMW s1000 double arm makes 190 horsepower at the crank the r1 weighs 454 pounds wet and the S 1000 weighs 458 pounds oh oh the BMW is heavier it's 4 pounds heavier oh oh but it's still a BMW yes yes it is still a BMW it is still pulsing with that McGuffin of German engineering oh yeah German engineering those two words common specially marked packages with a picture of a bee speckled clean-shaven physics major on the front he has a slide rule for no reason and the box says Dusseldorf firs fortified with 12 essential arguments Stoppers oh you're BMW s1000 Double R Philips body groom isn't precise enough I'll take a warm shower and lather my reproductive organs with store-brand shaving cream and reach for the steel pulling the extra flesh of my testicle sack taunt like a hotel bedsheet I draw the safety razor across the thin epidermis trimming my pubic hair you're going to listen to this because you ride a BMW s1000rr and your helmet is yellow hmm and then you pinch your flaccid penis by its foreskin remains and make the hairs on the channel stand up it's easier to trim that way just like it is easy to get in the good habit of turning your bike off with the kill switch with the s1000rr you see the starter switch is integrated into the kill switch this means you are trained by the German engineers to automatically thumb that red rocker switch from day one from a standstill the BMW s1000rr will travel one mile in 25 seconds and will be banging off its 185 mile an hour speed governor when it does now when you ride a Hayabusa around town it's easy because you have all that low-end torque but when you're riding this BMW you're hunched over forward like a tipped over letter see this is a really small bike it's really small it feels like a 600 when you get on it it feels like a 600 when you're moving around - because this BMW hides its weight take a look at how thin each of these wheel spokes are now the s1000rr is long it's hard to say had recalls it had a number of recalls because of problems but not many people took it back because now cuz people are having too much fun riding these things and I had fun riding this even though it was just around town for a little bit but the thing about the BMW is it didn't feel like anything was wrong and I had fun riding this thing I wish this day would have lasted longer this was one of those days where I wish I had you know just a little bit more time to really feel what this thing could do I knew what would happen if I owned BMW s1000 double R I would want to start messing with it I would want to take the tip of a screwdriver and stick it in the top of the fork tubes and mess with the dampening settings because I would get in my head that I knew more than the engineers oh I'm gonna crank it up more because up is better help is more up is more eat it shoes suck my dick New Balance you're the only shoes I can wear because my feet are weird and wide love hate love hate love hate straight up biz man man I'm gonna pull up on the crankshaft even though it was all recalled technically call was about connecting one's own direction how the Pope's who says the flesh on toes as cute I do so baby no squids stupid like underdressed and you die so always gear up friends sounds of Bangkok batteries Milan 25 seconds no cattle errors here just hair types little mufflers and I took mufflers sometimes just God Oh

Channel: Regular Car Reviews

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Keywords: BMW S1000RR, BMW (Automobile Company), Regular Car Reivews, Boulder (City/Town/Village), S1000RR Review, BMW S1000RR Review, 2012 BMW S1000RR, 2014 BMW S1000RR

Id: pmkqx0SjyH4

Length: 7min 49sec (469 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 08 2014