Regular Car Reviews: 1991 BMW E30 318i

Time Attack bro I'll attack bro bro you up for a Time Attack where's my stopwatch got a stopwatch touring cars bro roll cage Mako sheets bro in the past life I'm in a Touring Car champion in Turin Car champion I should've been a toy car champion mister yo bro Tamar's a snow during wreck bro Ryder steering rack bro Derrick Rack is so tight eath dirty how can I explain it I'll take it frame by frame it have y'all wrenching while we riffin it he's for Euro 3s for handsy wish you had the last zero well that's not that simple it's sort of like another way to call your investment because he thirties need a smart assessment there's a lot going on behind the naming as a car it seems we gotta start explaining the BMW e30 is a boxy range of cars made from the mid 80s to the mid 90s the BMW e30 is hated mocked reviled as an emotionless box to hold invoices and printouts from internet arguments should anything go south at a car meet you will have damning evidence against your enemies for the inevitable civil lawsuit and this is the most ether deist of all the e30 s because it is not an m3 like it kinda is because the engine is a sorta N engine from 4-cylinder mmm-hmm this ether tea here is also more ether te because it is for doors and not to and that's important you see your brains dick thinks that two-door cars are faster because structural rigidity or whatever so when a four-door BMW passes you and your s13 your past because there is no EM badge on the back of that car on which you can lay your excuses because this e 30 is the best at ether t in its engine is the m42 1.8 liter with a timing chain double cams and 4 valves per pot yeah yeah there was the BMW s 14 engine no relationship to nissan but that was just a gimped m88 the m42 makes about 138 horsepower at 6,000 RPM but that's the stock horsepower there's plenty of ways to make an e30 go faster and that's why they are so popular so popular this is the most requested car we've got to review ever since the Miata p30s and Miatas are always going back and forth and ether TS have more to prove because they're heavier and larger cars than Miata they're fun to go fast in because they don't look fast at all the only differences Miata is can be fixed with swear words but ether TS you need a manual you have to take working on these things seriously and that's the difference people want to tell you these are not complicated cars and that's BS these are very complicated engines because the tolerances are so small the e30 is a car that is punching above its weight class like a boxer who's never been told he can't be world champion it's very admire about it's a Kenny Powers quote on wheels and these are also popular cars because of their rear wheel drive it's an inexpensive car with a lot of potential and it's rear-wheel drive for lots of fun and it's more useful as a daily driver than a Miata could be and just like the Miata that's the beauty of it if you're into cars and you want something fun to drive but you can only have one car and you've got to do other car things and you've got a haul more than one other person well sorry Miata I can't have you 30 to the rescue but it's up to you to know how to handle an e30 to take it easy but not too easy to push it but not be too hard it's sort of like figuring out where the line is with a substitute teacher what jokes are going to fly can I call him by his first name now this guy isn't going to be tomorrow but what if he is the ride is smooth but buzzy like a jailbroken vibrating ass tickler the e30 in its time was supposed to go 124 miles an hour but when you look at it and you see all these boxy lines in this grille that's just flat in the front you kind of wonder it's what what is this car gonna be like above 100 miles an hour what's the arrow gonna be and people want to tell you oh this is in fact a very aerodynamic shape and you look at the square the notion of an e30 going that fast seems about as likely as finding a video of your own conception at the Adult Video outlet off exit 27 of course this isn't a bad experience by any means it just isn't what's expected it's sort of like getting to second base for the first time only to discover your girlfriend has pepperoni nipples and sure let's keep going but I'm not going to be storing this in a spank bank BMW's inspire a strange kind of provincial ISM and it feels random and often misdirected into e30 s is like being fiercely passionate about your time zone my time zone is the best time zone mountain time work bus I don't really blame anybody for being a loyal to their brand especially if the brand got him young some people are BMW lifers and that's okay but I'm not so sure BMWs are ever going to speak to me at a primordial level it's washday again no I'm going to get an extra day out of these underwear if it kills me tighty whities everything's in check but you need to drive an e30 if you want to pass yourself off as a car enthusiast and ether tea is more of a prerequisite than English comp one the acceleration has zero dead spots it doesn't climb onto the cam and when you hear people who are into cars refer to something as climbing onto the camp it means with most double overhead cam engines you had there's a point where the cams start to speed up now I know that's sort of a misnomer but I'm speaking from a kind of imaginative standpoint imagine you're watching that TAC go up there's a point where it'll jump Honda's are notorious for this and that's why people like Honda's so much but ether TS don't do that in fact most BMWs don't do that there is no tipping point in the rev range when you hear a car journalists refer to something called a linear power and this is what they're talking about say you want to go fast so you give it 3/4 throttle and you're revving from 2,000 rpm to 6,000 rpm with most naturally aspirated double cam engines with four valves somewhere between 4000 rpm and 5,000 rpm the revs will start climbing faster even though your foot hasn't moved that's climbing onto the cam but a BMW e30 that tachometer will move at a steady pace all the way up and down so if you're going Auto crossing or if you're at a track day bro you can make fine adjustments to your speed while at high rpm without a sudden burst of power getting to the rear wheels and braking you loose and making your spin can I give it just a little bit yeah whoo that's why people like ether tease a BMW e30 is classically perfect it's the best introduction to any sort of enthusiast driving experience okay so you're 20 and you've been driving your hand-me-down always 'mobile Alero but you want to get into cars what should you pick and you have no idea what you want to do but you know you want to do it in the correct way and get an e30 and a 30 is 2 cars what Magic the Gathering is 2 card base fantasy games what a ruger 10/22 is to marksmanship what a ninja 250 is to motorcycling what audio-technica is to sound-recording what AMD is to building your first computer what Yingling Porter is to being introduced to craft beer what piece rock in Hamburg is to doing stupid stuff to Yamaha blaster is to broken collarbones driving the e30 now in 2014 is sort of like finally banging the prom queen except she's 41 for kids deep twice divorced and out of options so you're taking the plunge anyway so you can just say you did I'll be flirty my knees dirty from assuming the position for the e30 I'm still worried with the things I'd say same way I ain't using doctor girls i lady well assuming that I'm getting laid at all hell it stopped hitting up the same old Hall smell this right does it taste the chloroform and you maybe throw me on your thoughts on poor perform what was I talking about me and Doug gotta take a dump cuz I got that VM love but when I get back can we see about that day can we see about trading in your rxe cuz you're like my appendix girl I have no doubt that well I don't know what you do I want to take you out so check my BMW we'll wrap a stout if you're a lesbian we'll still be friends let's be out oh I've been why from the minute on this here car seems to store all my clothes my Oh

Channel: RegularCars

Views: 1,169,501

Rating: 4.8242035 out of 5

Keywords: Regular Car Reviews, BMW 3 Series (E30) (Generation), BMW E30, BMW E30 Review, E30, Time Attack Bro, My stearing rack is so tight

Id: FSgZGOCyYcY

Length: 8min 35sec (515 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 08 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/CyberianSun]

Is it me or does Regular sound a bit different in this review?

[u/gliz5714]

^track day.. ^bro.

[u/MahlertheBaller]

Hey this is my car! Absolutely love this review. Totally hit the nail on the head in classic RCR style.

[u/Canadian_Government]

"when a 4 door BMW passes you in your S13 you're PISSED"

yeah pretty much

[u/Xarvas]

It's everything I hoped it would be. One of the best reviews they did.

[u/samurai5625]

PEPPERONI NIPPLES

[u/Srtviper]

12,000 ENGINE REBUILD SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

[u/goldeegoo]

My god that out was outstanding.

[u/fb95dd7063]

Easily in the top 5 of my favorite reviews! Great job on this one /u/regularcars