Yeah, wear the mankini. Do you want me to help you get in? Yeah I'll help you get it
in. Here, step through. Yeah yeah, there you go. And now Trevor is ready for the beach. So then I call my ex-wife and I tell her four inches is average, and she says go to Hell you old bastard. That was pretty good. I think we can. That's a, it's one take. And then the nuns says those
are the freaking bananas. Now that's a cold open. In 2009, Taco Bell
discontinued one of the best, maybe the best fast food
dessert of all time. I am willing to put that
statement on my chest and the caramel apple empanada. It destroys McFlurry. It
destroys the hand pie. Hand pie? What? It even torches Carl's Jr's short-lived Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich, which will probably show
up in an episode later. What about the Frosty? Oh the Frosty's nice. It smells like chocolate, but it doesn't really
taste like chocolate. Yeah. Taco Bell should change
their slogan from Live Mas to Live Menos because we all
died inside, just a little bit, when they discontinued the
caramel apple empanada. But today, Trevor, we bring it back, and we finally bring justice
to those who were wronged by the Taco Bell for the umpteenth time. Umpteenth. That means a lot of times. It's time for Past Food! We gotta game plan this. So, normally we try and
take some ingredients from the restaurant, and
use that in the thing that we're making. Taco Bell,
they scrapped everything. They have nothing that even resembles the caramel apple empanada anymore. What they do have, they
kept the cinnamon twists. Is this your king taco bell? This is the only dessert
you're gonna offer? Well, they have the
Cinnabon Delights also, which are really derivative
of Denny's Pancake Puppies. But we just have this as like a reminder of what we're trying not to do, because we are about to
make a beautiful, crispy, fried empanada. We hate these. We hate those. They're still really cute. Delicious. No! No! Get- That's like a giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We just told the people we hate them. That's a good breakfast cereal. No. So, what we're gonna do,
we're gonna make a beautiful, flaky empanada dough. But there were a couple of little tricks that Taco Bell did that
made it extra crispy. Because McDonald's used to
have the fried apple pie, but now they're all baked. So Taco Bell, they really
just hit that deep-fried, crispy-shelled, apple-filled delight. So, we're going to figure that
out with the pastry crust. And of course we got to make our goopy, delicious apple filling. Yes. The three ingredients, flour,
brown sugar, and apples. There's more ingredients to come. There's more. Well, just watch. Trevor, you hyped up? Yeah! Trevor, you ready to do this? Yeah! You ready to make this
caramel apple empanada? Are you ready to bring this Back from the past! Oh God, let's go! One time, one time! We gotta make the filling for
this caramel apple empanada. So, Taco Bell was likely using, I imagine, like, dehydrated apples. Oh God, Trevor's gonna juggle Why do you say it like that?
You make me not want to. Because it never goes well,
we have a lot of little- Oh, ooh, look at him. I'm just, just a little treat, you know, just a little treat for the people. Your man is hot, contrary
to popular belief. So, start peeling apples,
start dicing those up and Taco Bell might've been
using dehydrated apples but we're using fresh, we're
being a little fancy in here. I'm gonna start getting
going on the caramel portion of this caramel apple sauce. I looked up the actual
ingredients list for this, which was not available except
for a photo on Google Images, of the industrial box that they came in. Oh, nice. And it was just, kind of brown
sugar, some sort of butter, and then butter extract, which we have. So, we're just going to make
a caramel out of all that. I mean, apple pie filling
tends to be pretty easy to make at the bones, if you want to
get fancy with it, you can. But when it comes down to
it, it's just sugar, apples, and butter. The thing that I'm
fascinated with though is, what the words that Taco Bell, this is apple pie. This
is a fast food apple pie, from Taco Bell, but they
use like different words to signify some sort of importance. So, one caramel, which any apple pie kind of technically has caramel in it. Right? That's the goo. Yeah. That's the cooked sugar. Exactly. So, they use caramel to
try and elevate this, and then they call it an
empanada, which is like, that's kind of stretching the definition. An empanada is just a pie. It literally comes from
the Spanish word, empanar. Is that the verb, Annaliese? Empanar? Empanar, which literally
means to enrobe in bread. The Cuban dish, bistec empanizado. Ah. Right? Breaded steak. This
is just like a breaded thing. So, this is just breaded apples. But I don't understand why
this left menus from Taco Bell. Taco Bell is plotting for something big. I'm dead serious, because Taco Bell, they have cut the fat
of their menu so much. I mean, they got rid of the potatoes, and they brought them back
'cause people got really mad. I don't know if they're
hitting an entire rebrand, but they have cut so much from their menu in the past several years, including the caramel apple empanada. Do they add stuff to their
menu when they cut stuff? I feel like there's always new things coming out at Taco Bell. They've got the chicken chips, but they haven't had any new desserts. I mean, they hit this,
the Cinnabon Delights, which started as a breakfast item, which are literally just
like a mini fried dough ball filled with a goo. Oh, that's great. You wanna dice those up? Well, yeah, but I didn't
know if you wanted to do it while I finished this last apple Yeah, I'll do that. So, it was kind of like a rough dice. They were like little apple cubes. So, I'm just gonna kind
of, get it about that big. I feel like yee old lad on a pirate ship. Cabin boy. Pirates life sounded kind of bleak. We romanticize it a
weird amount, me thinks. Arr, I be down in the brig. I don't know why I sound
like this if I'm a wee lad, They were all just, uh,
illiterate and had scurvy, and did crimes. I love the book "Treasure Island". Piracy is a crime. I illegally download via Kazaa. Arr. Piracy joke? Yeah. Come on. So, if you see, this sugar is melted. You can smell, it's got a little bit of that caramel burn on
it, that's fantastic. We're just gonna add the apples there, and the apples are going to
release their own moisture. We shouldn't get any seizing. Josh, I like to take my apple and square it off, so I can get a nice, clean, angled cut. I do that too. Well, I do other things too. Arr! In a pirate universe, what do you think your
role would have been? Oh, come on, Josh, I would have been, Oh, yeah, okay, I know where
you're going with this. What? You'd be a bard. Yeah. You'd be like the traveling, singing bard. Okay. Most people think that I'd
be a cook, but I wouldn't. I think I'd just be like
a manatee matchmaker. You know? Not the manatees again! We're bringing up the manatee thing! We're bringing up the manatee thing! God dang it! It's too hilarious. It is history's funniest thing. Arr, me boy, you gotta
give up the manatee talk. There'd be no little
mermaid without the fact that drunk sailors and
manatees, that, ehh, uh. Couple more apples? You want
me to just keep doing this? You wanna, here, you want
to move to the bottom? You were kind of doing it, but like, I'll do it. I was eating the peel. Add the cinnamon and the butter extract, and some of that butter into it. 'Cause you've got a nice caramel form, and the apples are releasing their liquid. Okay. Put some salt in there. It's all going to get
sort of emulsified with, with cornstarch at the end,
just turn into it like a goo. And we're going to cook
this down for a long time, because the filling inside
the caramel apple empanada, it was just oozing with caramel. And that's where you get
the advantages of frying it, as opposed to baking it. It's just straight goo. I love apple goo. I like apple goo too. Arr, laddy, I do be
enjoying some apple goo out on the seven seas. I enjoy me some manatee goo. All right, so we're
gonna pop those in there. Arr, you're giving us a bad name, laddy. That was really sad,
producer Annaliese asked, is this the first time you've
cooked with a fresh apple on Mythical Kitchen? It's not. It was so strange to see a piece of fruit on our counter. This tastes foreign to me. Can I have a bite out of the other side? That's not a good eating apple. Trevor, these apples
have been boiling away. You've been doing that little
dance for the last 20 minutes. My apple dance. We need to add some more goo to this. I'm gonna take about a
half stick of butter. Oh! Start swirling that around. Okay. And then to really increase
the goo factor here, because I cannot stress enough, this was hot, flaky, fried
pastry filled with goo, that was vaguely reminiscent
of apples, and it was perfect. Goo! I'm gonna add some cornstarch to it. God, I love goo. I love goo too, man. Goo food is like the best food. Just think about goo, goo oozing out. So I'm taking the cornstarch, I'm taking the back of a
knife, 'cause it was here. So, whisk that with water,
so all this is going to do, it's going to add little particulates that are going to absorb
some of that moisture, and all it's going to do
is to thicken our sauce. That way, also, when
we put it in the fridge and let it sort of set up and thicken, we can like mound it
into our empanada dough. And then that is going to be like a nice, and stodgy in the fryer. It's going to actually hold up. Josh, I regret to inform you that I did see a seed
floating around in here, but it got mixed away. So one of us might have a
seed inside of our empanada. That's lucky. It's like sometimes you
get a bone in a Whopper. All right, so we're gonna
take this off the heat. We're going to get in the
fridge and let it set up. And then we're gonna start
making that pastry dough. In the fridge? Oh, it smells like goo. Trevor, you have a degree
in pastry-making, right? Yes. Forget everything you learned. Okay. 'Cause we're about to make
some Taco Bell pastry dough. So I looked up the ingredients,
typically in a pie dough, which is like, or an empanada
dough, you'd use, you know, butter that's put in, in chunks, so it gets nice and light and flaky. Taco Bell ain't got that, though. What they got though, is
they got hydrogenated oil, so we're using Crisco in that. And then they got soy lecithin in there, that actually does serve a
really important function in this dough, in that it
gives it that little light, crispy, airy crunch. 'Cause it's going to act
as a slight leavening agent because it'll sort of
hold air bubbles in there and then get it nice. Should I do this? Yeah, do that. Are we just eyeballing it? I'm just gonna eyeball it, right? We know what a dough should feel like. Sure. I reckon. There's nothing secret about this. Gonna add a little bit of salt to that. Get a little Crisco in there. Desserts tend to be really well salted at fast food restaurants, which I love. And pop a little bit of sugar in there to give it some structure, and it's going to caramelize
nice in the fryer. And then, you wanna
get it buzzed up first? Yeah. You can get buzzed up,
we'll add the lecithin after we add the water. Are you a dessert guy at
fast food restaurants. Not generally, unless it's like a frosty. I think McDonald's
should start making like, cheeseburger pies. Cheeseburger pies? Yeah, why not? They
already got the pie dough. Like a meat pie? But keep the apples. Keep the apples. Cheeseburger,
apple, meat pie, cheese, you're welcome, I'll
take the consulting fee. That's what we call a terrible idea here in the Mythical Kitchen. We start streaming in water slowly. This is ice cold water. It's like 80, it's hot in
here. Our pipes get hot. All right, stream that water in. Yeah. Yeah. There's no good way to
stream in this water. It's in a bowl. It's not
like a pourable vessel. And what do you want me to
do? What do you want me to do? No, you're doing great. Do we need more water now
because I spilled all of it? Yeah. Let me get some more water. This is your water, I'm sorry. So we don't want it to
get too hydrated, right? You wanna kind of keep it
probably pretty balled up. There we go. There we go. There we go. Oh, the lecithin, lecithin, lecithin. I don't want to overwork
it and get it all hot. Can't overwork it before the lecithin. A little bit goes a long
way in this bad boy. Add some of that in there. Do you think this is like
poisonous if you use too much? No. All right, cool. All right, so now we're
just gonna let it rest in a little thing. Do you reckon that's mixed? I reckon that's mixed. You reckon it is? Here, just kind of slap it into my hand, and I'll slap it into yours. Trevor says I never play catch with him. This is kind of nice. There's gotta be a more
efficient way to do this, but this is fun. We wrap now. All right, Trevor, we got
the dough out of the fridge. That's ready to be rolled out. Yes, it's cold. Oh, that's fantastic. Can you start rolling that out? 'Cause I have something
important to talk about that has recently come to my attention, for producer Anneliese, that VeggieTales, which I didn't grow up on,
'cause I had to explain that Jews didn't watch VeggieTales
for like, you know, the normal reasons. There's a segment in VeggieTales called silly songs with Larry, in which Larry, an anthropomorphic Christian cucumber falls in love with a manatee. This is a phallic object, on the sea, who once had a pirate arc in
the story. That is correct. That is correct? They are the pirates
who don't do anything? They just stay at home and lie around. Exactly. And if you ask them to do anything, they'll just tell you
they don't do anything. Had a romantic relationship
with a manatee. Are you saying that
somewhere, at some place, at some time in history,
there was a cucumber that had sexual relations with a manatee. Not sexual relations but romantic, there's a difference between
romanticism and sexuality, and I think that's important to note when it comes to pirates and manatees. Hey, what are you doing
with that there dough? I'm rolling it out, just
like you asked me to. That's exciting. It's nice and pliable. So if you see the filling that we got, we continued to cook this down
until it's just real gooey. And then we put it in the
fridge, and it turned into this. So that's just all that
butter and cornstarch that's in there, which is really great, because we can mound it up in this, when we eventually cut it into circles. Eventually, Trevor. Eventually. Yes, I know,
I'm rolling it out. Josh, can you just. Remember when I used to wear a Fitbit? Can you talk about manatees or something? Trevor if you could have, nevermind. Did you know that the most
powerful pirate fleet in history was from China and it
was commanded by a woman? And that's the real hashtag "girlboss". She was brutal. She, I mean
really killed a lot of people. Yeah. Girl boss status. You want to cut circles? Yeah, definitely. That's true though, man. Like the British Navy
couldn't take her down. Chinese Navy couldn't take her down. No, that's awesome. What other crimes do we
really lionize like that? Like what other, just
criminal organizations does Disney make a ride about? It was like mafia, the ride, you know, like Disney wouldn't have that. You shouldn't push down so much. Sorry, I got all worked
up talking about piracy. Beautiful. We'll save this and we'll
make a ravioli's out of it. Look, it's a face. Taco Bell ravioli would be good. That's a g-string. Yeah, wear the mankini. Do you want me to help you get in? Yeah. I'll help you get in. Here, step through. Now you're good. And now Trevor is ready for the beach. Trevor's ready to just do his Borat thing. You can pull it up around
the shoulders, I think. And now you're just Borat at the beach. Make sure it's all covered
or else you're going to get. Okay. Yeah, there it is. This, ladies and gentlemen, now this is the essence of
romanticism and not sexuality. Anybody see any manatees nearby? So we're gonna take a
little bit of filling. You mean we have to cook? I have flour on me. Is that too much filling? No, that's great. That's, like, plenty. All right. So we're going to get these, do you wanna start
folding and crimping that? I'm just gonna put some
water here, I think I think that's a good idea. Taco Bell obviously had
a machine in the factory. They're actually the kind of precursors to the machines in the Matrix. I have a theory that all the
Taco Bell factory machines are gonna become sentient. And then of force us into,
into underground hiding. Right. So we're just crimping these away. I watch too many movies. Yeah, so you can crimp that away and use the water to actually
seal the dough together. Honestly, it was a fun recipe
that people can make at home. Yeah. Right? Little hand pie, little
caramel apple hand pies, little fun things. So then, the last step to this,
we're gonna take rice flour. So this is a really interesting fact that I learned from looking at
the ingredients list on this. I always wondered how
they got this like insane crackling crust outside of
the caramel apple empanada. And I saw rice flour in the ingredients separate from all the flours
that go into the actual pastry. So I think they were either
dusting it in rice flour, or making a really thin rice flour batter to then drop that in the
fryer to get the extra crust. I think we can get away
with just a dusting. So I'm going to take the empanada and I'm just going to
dust it in the rice flour. And then we're actually gonna let this set up in the freezer. That way it's going to hold
up a lot better in the fryer. Oh! No, you're good. Josh. I might've bungled this one. What do you mean? We might be down to two. Taco Bell bungles burritos all the time and they don't just start a new one. No, you get the hot sour cream
just sprayed in your face, and then a bite of cold rice
at the end, and you love it. This is probably gonna be the best one because that's how cooking
happens in the Mythical Kitchen. We're like, oh, I messed this one up, we're still running with it. Oh God. No, it's good. It's good. It's good. That's good. Trevor! Beautiful in its own way. No, the beauty lies in imperfection. Lao Tzu said that. Yeah, that that looks bad. But hey, you know, it's the, This is Annaliese, this is yours. All right, cool. So we got
these dusted in rice flour. We're gonna pop these in the
freezer for about 10 minutes. Just to set up, get everything
just nice and sturdy. Then we're gonna drop this in the fryer. Then we get to eat it. Yeah. We're gonna bring it back to the past! Bring it back from a simpler time. Back from the past, Baja
Blast, back from the past. I want, did we get Baja
Blast from Taco Bell? Manatees! No, we got watermelon freezes. Okay. All right, so let's take a, you got your little fudgy fudge one there. Well they're all fudgy fudge
ones and they're all mine. So I don't want to hear it. They all are beautiful. I should have helped more. I'm going to get a little bit
more rice flour into this. Try to really get a nice cake on there. Yeah, get it, cake it on. Blow it off. All right. And we're just gonna drop it in the fryer. I don't like to be near the fryer. And then it should hold
shape. It should hold shape. It's already leaking. Is it really? No. Are you the person who yells
fire in a library for fun? No, there was crap. You crave that much attention? There was some schleem on
the bottom of the fryer, and it looked like caramel apple. It's gonna be fine. What we have to do now,
we have to hope and pray to the sea gods. Because I believe it was still
are in the pirate characters. As seamen, we have to
pray to the sea gods. Trevor, would like like
to sing a seamen prayer? Yes. ♪ Way hay up she rises,
way hay up she rises, ♪ ♪ Way hay up she rises,
early in the morning ♪ I think that that is
public domain on account of it's hundreds of years
old. So I think, we're good. Oh, you're right. We looked that up. It's like once it's the
past 1738 we're good. All those 1739 bangers
out there, we can't sing. This looks really great though. Oh! It does look great. I kind of forgot we were cooking
for a second. I got lost. You're wrapped up in the songs, man. Look at that. Look at all that crackly. Yeah, this is, this is way too big. What's going on with this? Is it not flipping for you? It's not flipping it all, man. It's like a buoy. It's like a manatee. It's like, you know, you're trying to get
a manatee on its back. Cause you gotta flip it, and you can't. There we go, there we go, it's flipped. I'm just going to hold this under. Look at the texture, I didn't
say anything about manatees, I didn't say anything about manatees. Look at the texture on this, bro. Trying to get a manatee on its back? So you can play with her. I didn't say her, I said a, you like to play with manatees. What else are you gonna do, right? You're out at sea, you see
some manatees, you water polo. Josh wants to engage in
coitus with a manatee. No, I don't. That's a rumor, all right? And a couple DMs I sent to manatee. All right Trevor. ♪ Leave her, Johnny, leave her ♪ When was that written? If that's a 1742 bop, we're
getting sued by states of, I don't know, scallywags mcgruffin. This is done the texture on this, I mean, this is unreal.
This is so Taco Belly. This is exactly what it was that had that crackling shatter to it. Trevor, we did it! Well, that's good. That's what we tried to do, man. Do you want me to be more excited? Yeah. Woo! Let's go! We made it! No one thought we'd do it, none of you, none of you believed in
us, you wrote us off, after the first act, when we
kept talking about manatees. But no, what we did is, we
focused up, we came back, and we made the caramel apple empanada. That's adorable. Okay, show-off. We brought the caramel apple empanada back from the past. From the past. But that means right now
it's the most important time. It's the time that
everyone's been waiting for Today, we're going to
cut to the packaging. Cut to the packaging. Sheesh. Sheesh, cut to the packaging. All right, Trevor, we got the
caramel apple empanada here. Let's unsheathe them from their sheath. You mean, unsheesh them. Sheath. Sheath. If you see on the packaging, we actually used the
original, 2004 packaging when they were also
selling grilled taquitos, which I do think they
should also bring back. They had a really great bacon
potato and nacho cheese one. Loved that. Also we got our watermelon freezies, which they never should
have gotten rid of that breakfast Mountain Dew for. They mix it with juice for the kids. You seem to be very passionate. Let's try it. I'm going to break it. Ah, look at the goo,
Trevor. Look at the goo! I should have done that
because all of the apple sunk to the bottom of mine. Just like any Taco Bell item. Hold on. I gotta shimmy it out this way. Oh. It's so crispy and crunchity. The main flavor you take, 'cause the apples just like dissolve, but you're getting all the
apple flavor in that goo, and also that fake butter. McDonald's apple pie, it can't
hold a candle to this, right? Like, think about that. That's just like a kind
of like stodgy crust. This is actually really
flaky and crispy and crunchy. I got fire sauce. Oh you want to give me a squirt? Yeah. It's still Taco Bell
at the end of the day. Well, that kinda sorta works. Trevor, do you believe
they should bring it back? Yeah, I agree with you. I'm normally just a beverage person, but I think if I went to Taco Bell and I got myself a quesarito, I would probably get one of these. Caramel's coming up my throat. This is like the antidote to the spicy. You get all that spicy nacho
cheese and the sour cream, and that beef in you and
you need something sweet. And to me, the cinnamon
twists, they don't cut it, their dessert nachos, also they should be made with pork rinds. Yeah it's just cereal. It's just cereal. It's just Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a bag. And this to me, I mean,
it's absolutely fantastic. Taco Bell, I think they
need to bring it back. If you think that Taco
Bell should bring it back, tweet @tacobell, hashtag
"pastfood", and let them know. And also, send Taco Bell facts
about manatees and pirates. I just think they would
want to know that, as well. Please do. For us For us. Thank you so much for stopping
by the Mythical Kitchen. We've got new episodes for you every week. We've got new episodes of our podcast. A Hotdog is a Sandwich every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts, hit us up on Instagram @mythicalkitchen, with pictures of your mythical dishes on hashtag "dreamsbecomefood". See y'all next time. This went down so easy. This went down smooth. Yeah, I know I'm going to feel like poop in about like 10 minutes,
but this was really yummy. Just like Taco Bell! Get as messy as you want in your kitchen, when you have the mythical
kitchen towels available now at mythical.com
