Real Ass Podcast #615 - Patreon Pimps (Danny Polishchuk & Alex Engelbert)

fill her up you're listening to the gas digital network [Music] what up [ __ ] it's the real ass podcast it's your boy luchay gomez thank you last dude ultimate minority joined out of comedy i got a lot of names international superstars zach domiko hey nobody he's funny he's a psycho he's a real ass dude i was double teaming this chick with her husband now he's selling coke in heaven are you [ __ ] ready [ __ ] it's the only real podcast left out there here we are realize podcast we're back we ain't [ __ ] around it's a wednesday hump day bump day thump day [ __ ] pull your dicks out spit on them put them back their pants i just want to spit on your dick i don't want you do anything else i just want you to walk around all day little spitty dick a [ __ ] spitty [ __ ] dick doggy great show plan today incredible guests on the show uh one of our guests doesn't even hear right now the the absolute insubordination we're gonna figure what the [ __ ] out happened there uh first of all i want to tell you right now i am the puerto rican rattlesnake the international superstar louis jay gomez i don't know why i've just taken it you've you've also given it to other people i like it i like the name i feel like i feel like you don't use it enough when you said it the first time it really you weren't super serious about it i feel like you need a new name and you should just give me that name no you can't have it please no i haven't had already i'm an international superstar though why don't you be the puerto rican rattlesnake don't you [ __ ] dance that's pretty first time on the show don't you [ __ ] get banned day one scumbag uh ladies and gentlemen you might know him from his podcast punching down it is the one and only danny yeah very cool man very good very good to have you here yeah glad to be here nice i uh you were supposed to be here with another i guess a female guest yeah who reached out to me specifically to be on the show and then we we just here's that i'm gonna pretend we started the show at 1100 she's 20 minutes late and that she's really late okay how far is she shannon um she's probably on like oh i don't want to say the streets but uh she's about three blocks are we hiding where we are i don't know from the the sgt sjw antifa's i think we are are we hiding where we are we can tell the neighbor they know the neighborhood we're in we're in the east village come get us don't get me no here's what's funny is like we're listed under a p.o box and it's over on first avenue the p.o box so that's where they that's where the bike locks show up yeah dude so they like draw like [ __ ] swastikas out sort of these poor old chinese ladies like it's a little business home i like the idea of the the sjw drawing swastika yeah they draw swastikas i swear to god they did this that when uh we had uh milo on right they showed up there and they were like [ __ ] into a p.o box yeah but it's like if you're a passerby and you're like hey that person is just drawing swastikas like you think that they're the nazis i know exactly it's very strange you're caught in the middle of it yeah you're like you're just seeing them you're like drawing unfinished windows 95 logos i like it uh look great show plan today obviously incredible show plan today we have to get more of these walk-out music submissions in um because that's going to be a big deal okay and i had somebody else send me some more on instagram i got to send it to you shannon maybe we'll get that for the next show we have a lot to talk about today let's get our plugs out of the way this [ __ ] isn't even getting plugs she's not even getting plugs i'm sick of it oh it's wild it is wild [ __ ] she did have train troubles and she's not around somebody's running the train [Laughter] i don't know who it is by the way yeah you don't know who it is it's hilarious it's uh i already could introduce her because i'm not gonna i'm not even gonna acknowledge her when she comes in it's alex engelbert who is a comedian and uh that's it she didn't give me anything else here but [ __ ] her she's not getting on my plug-in or [ __ ] anyway so good yeah i don't care if she's got a podcast [ __ ] good uh all right danny what do you got to plug anything else just the punching down podcast that's it me and actually uh ryan long we actually do another podcast called fuckanomics it's economics yeah i love ryan ryan's been on the show a few times yeah yeah very cool we'll get you guys on together sometime yeah we should do it yeah i watch you in a lot of those videos yeah yeah yeah well yeah i'm uh you know while we're doing a new one love it good for you dude [ __ ] yeah i'm excited i'm glad to have you here we're gonna get some crazy [ __ ] get your opinions are you canadian i am canadian [ __ ] yeah both from toronto i got no i got no beef with canadians yeah some people don't like you guys yeah i don't know who because you guys are like um you like you it's like the the cousin who has like really good grades you're like dude shut up yeah but it's like everybody says that but you're like you guys but we moved here did you pee the bed until you're like 12 7. but uh we're like we moved here because we it wasn't good there everybody's like that's true yeah you're like everybody's like well you know it's for entertainment though it's a little different it's for entertainment but no this is still if you were a doctor or if you were like uh i know i know tons of doctors who move to america really yeah because it's like there's just like you make it's just the you make more money you get better country in the world yeah right because it tries to tell you it's otherwise here and you're like it's socialized healthcare up there so it's not like doctors are doctors are just everyday [ __ ] schlubs probably they're they're not everyday losers they are basically they're [ __ ] they're losers if you're a canadian doctor you should uh doctors are basically dentists basically well there is there is an actual thing in canada where it's like they because it's socialized they put a cap on how much you're allowed to make so like i had a friend growing up whose dad was like a heart surgeon and he only worked like three months a year because he made his like capped amount in that period of time and then he's like i can't make any more money so i'm working for free so he's like just took it off yeah sorry we've been interrupted very rudely hi luis i'm sorry thank you for having me however yeah it's infuriating it's the the disrespect the insubordination it's wild well whenever i well first of all when am i ever not like that but also i didn't mean to honestly the trains are [ __ ] garbage and i forgot like i haven't been here for 10 months can you can you scoot a little closer scoot a little closer to danny get a little comfortable now now you have to be i'm gonna tell you right now before you even start the show you're gonna be sexually harassed on the show because you're late that's why it came good all right that i like you know what she's back in guys team player she knows the score yeah um you want to get me too today all right so what do you have to plug alex younger burger is here well i can't even say the clear alex engelbert alex and a little birch is here alex engelbert is here what's up alex how are you what's going on what do you got to plug i'm gonna give you a chance to plug even though i was very upset um nothing i just follow me on twitter i'm in a web series that should have been out by now but [ __ ] got all messed up it's called call center so if you follow me on twitter it'll be out hopefully soon um and that was a pretty cool project that i worked on that's about it for now sweet very cool zackamico instagram zac is not funny check out my other show on the network zach mikko's midnight spook show fridays at midnight comics talk [ __ ] while we watch a movie catalyst wrestling here on gas at 11am on saturdays my new movie shakespeare shitstorm will be with the bel air diner drive-thru this friday the 13th and uh saturday the 28th i'll be in levittown pennsylvania i don't know the name of the venue yet but i'm doing 40. hell yeah dude zack a [ __ ] mikko will be with me uh we're starting this tour do we have any submissions for the tour names yet oh somebody sent me one i can't remember it we're gonna figure it out though it's gonna be a [ __ ] we're gonna have a sick tour sick tour poster uh sick tour t-shirt she's gonna call it the sick tour it's gonna be [ __ ] sick tour it's actually a great idea it was just because everyone's gonna get everybody coming down sick to her with a coconut yeah dude i like this dude ladies and gentlemen just say sick yeah let me tell you something uh it's gonna be going with zach and vico the sick tour 2021 coming to a city near you uh making our for we're we're doing a little [ __ ] pre-run through under atlantic city celebrity theater december 4th and 5th uh just added to the show chris from brooklyn from the high city radio podcast here on the gas digital network very excited really dude if me and zach and chris are just in a room together yeah it's a problem and we're going to atlantic city it's a problem it's a problem somebody's getting sick somebody's getting sick we are doing no social distancing rules we said this this is i'm not lying about this guys i told the venue i was like listen i'm advertising no social distance things i'm bringing the tables together i'm making one just one big two rows two big tight [ __ ] rows right next to this precautions is use your own dollar bill [Laughter] they're officially kicking things off point pleasant new jersey january 20th through 23rd myself zach miko plus chris from brooklyn the sick tour comedy of point pleasant new jersey uh uncle vinnie's comedy club we're gonna get a little bit [ __ ] crazy so uh we're excited about this lots more dates going to be announced very very soon um listen to me if the liberal left trying to [ __ ] shut things down i don't i i don't know what to say i will not i'm gonna i'm still doing these shows they're gonna have to shut me down they can't shut me down they can't shut me down i'll go to [ __ ] i'll do shows in the heat we'll go to the desert could you [ __ ] imagine just like you just set up a stage in the middle of the desert well in the winter we basically have done that we've done that okay and the winter the winter is coming so if they try to shut things down again oh we'll have problems i think that's really when the civil war is going to break out is if they try to shut the country down again it's going to get [ __ ] wild but on the good side the right has all the guns so real quick uh we also have uh obviously this podcast legion of skanks from one of my other shows believe you me as one of my other shows the entire on-demand library all the shows that we do here on gas digital nearly 10 000 hours of on-demand live streaming content content you can't get anywhere else you can only get a limited library on itunes and youtube and all these other [ __ ] places right if you guys want everything uncensored and ad free plus access to the racist live chat pre-release on episodes bonus content and more go to gasdigitalnetwork.com use the promo code rap you get a 14-day free trial this is a big [ __ ] deal baby boy it's a big deal this could be the last place left where you can get comedy like this it's over it's ending okay so there's not enough there's not a better price in the [ __ ] world dude eight dollars a month for everything everything some patreons are more expensive than that just one patreon this is for all the entire on-demand library for everything gas digital it's wild we should charge more i'm gonna make a case to charge more i'm gonna tell you right now i'm gonna tell ralph i wanna charge more because it's [ __ ] crazy how cheap it is so sign up now before i raise the prices again you think i'm not going to shannon shannon tell them that i will he definitely will you goddamn right i will i'm thinking about it we just add 40 hours every week of brand new content that eventually goes away where you can't get anywhere else it's just available on gas digital it's wild that is wild it is what thank you alex i'm like i don't know how much um the other one is compound but like way more how much is combat media look it up and i look i love anthony 1488 no it's not oh i got it bam it actually might be though i think it really might be no i love them [Laughter] they have less shows than us they're less good you know anthony's genius but i mean besides that like i love you know they're great but you know look beyond that what are we doing here am i hating i'm not hating but you know it starts to be slim pickets over there we got a [ __ ] entire crazy catalogue of nuttiness yeah raise the price is the same raise the price yeah raise it raise the price goddamn recession raise the price thank you find out how much combat media is shannon i'm gonna have to like do math i really do think it's for me i really truly do honestly okay so here's the billing plan option i'm going to show it to you i'll show it to me oh they probably have like a six month point yeah 295 per day no three-day trial you have to pay for the three-day trial we give you a 14-day free truck we could be charging per day 80 drivers a year um i don't get what this is what is going on here very comfortable well time out what oh you can so you get three dollars if you just want to see it for a day and then it's 84 bucks 2.95 for debt per day then i see 8.95 a month it's 8.95 a month but if you pay 84 bucks for i guess a once okay this is there's a lot of options too many options yeah they definitely thought about this where they were like let's just give our fans math to do right that's wild i would confuse you into signing up that yeah that's really my errors is easy hey guys just promo code rep get a 14-day free trial uh you keep it keep it you don't need to you know i say i say sign up don't even keep it [ __ ] it just [ __ ] sign up and cancel it get get download all the podcasts you love get a [ __ ] get a couple uh terabytes on hard drives and [ __ ] download everything you spend 200 on a hard drive to be honest with you you might have to they're going to take this [ __ ] away eventually so yeah enjoy it now biden gets [ __ ] enjoy it now baby boy um all right look so much to talk about today i don't even know where to begin um i'm in a pretty good mood actually i'm going tomorrow morning harrington here's where i begin harrington he better walk in the doors during the show with all of the [ __ ] packed ready to go and he better have hand wraps he's untrained with hand wraps the entire [ __ ] time we've been training for this he knows he's no he knows he's had a no stop rewind chill make that word sound good shannon i'm dead ass i wanna i wanna hear no edit i wanna just hear a nice clean whatever i was saying okay that's your job fabulous you [ __ ] produce shannon instead of letting me speak like a mumble mouth [ __ ] how about you start producing me i'm sorry guys it's a very low level production here and i'm trying to i'm trying to be a professional but they're now what was i saying that he has not had hand wraps this entire fight camp yeah he's not had camera apps this entire time and what was the word that i got tripped up on no nose no nose that's not which is not true with harrington he's got a big broken nose he's got to do it he's a big broken nose this is all going to be edited out it's john matthews go after the next target target's going to literally flash like a video game just punch him with his [ __ ] nose ah dude it really is it's like you can [ __ ] take a bloody nose bus ride home he's like a robot in contra it's just yellow and red just blinking just punch that nose it will bust open um no here's the thing harrington this whole time i told him to get raps for his hands and he doesn't do it and it it's to the point where it's like defiant it's not even defiant it's almost like it's indicative of where his head's at and it's probably why this old man is going to beat him and he can't hear this because he's going to probably break his heart i'm his [ __ ] head coach [Laughter] you're not going to want to hear this can you put some rocky music on while i say when i talk about harrington getting destroyed by this old man can i tell you why okay because harrington instead of caring about the little things that you should care about like little just getting hand wraps yeah just learn how to throw learn how to throw a jab thank you it's very inspirational so to learn how to throw a jab harrington's in there he wants to [ __ ] shoot videos and get a sponsor and [ __ ] look it sounds like i'm talking to myself right now but you know keep it on shannon i like it you seem concerned i don't care if we're getting pulled suck my [ __ ] dick rocky if rocky tries to copyright claim me oh my god don't even get me going i'm the only racist podcast left we're the only people that respect the rocky franchise um we got pulled for playing this on ndp i'm sorry this exact song yes can you find a duty-free version yeah judy for like the airport you can bring it on the airplane you just gotta check it before you give us a carton of rocky music can you please rockies yeah who's gonna sue you so like no what they do is they'll pull you off of youtube yeah youtube they just have like it's automatic you know they do that with facebook too if you put up like if there's like a song on the radio or something like that you just take your talking to they'll just take your video down did you know that though yeah of course they do that on instagram as well that's the other one this is motivational royalty-free music no that's not what i wanted i wanted rocky knockoff music naki monkey music what if i just hum it does that well no it's not exactly the same effect i know that there's got to be like uh you know like in a different key you you've heard them right yeah yeah yeah yeah or you speed them or you speed them up like 1 8 or slow it down any what's here yeah this okay so this is like uh this is inspired by rocky this is like an eye of the tiger shirt yeah i guess shannon exactly now you're producing good job she made this beat actually thank you shannon she actually produced that on garageband just now while we're doing the show so yeah so harrington if he would have just learned how to get raps if people just showed me like hey i'm going to get raps and i'm going to [ __ ] start throwing a [ __ ] jab every day and really trying to get good at it then i would say hey you know what dude maybe he could [ __ ] stick to a game plan but the reason he's all sloppy and all over the place because herring should try to jump into being a [ __ ] professional fighter and he's like talking about he's like i've never been more hungry for anything else and harrington's not kidding he literally said the other day he's like i think you know i could put together a few fights a year and just be a professional boxer no he didn't yeah he really said he texted me three days ago and he goes hey you know do you have access to a punching bag or whatever i'm like why would i have access he came to my house to jersey because he couldn't get i've access i've seen yeah like the stories or whatever but i'm like why would i have access to that now if he doesn't walk in here with [ __ ] raps he will lose the fight on saturday night this is like it should just be known if he does not walk in when he [ __ ] with all of his stuff everything ready to go i was like you know what he just wasn't ready to [ __ ] commit to anything he wants to do this bigger [ __ ] thing and i should kill the ad sales guys because they got him a little bit of sponsorship money oh yeah captain you got i'm paying my rent off my fight it's it's infuriating i like i [ __ ] hate the fact that he thinks that this is gonna be something he's gonna do and look i know people say this about me i know this okay i know but there's a difference okay i'm telling you right now number one i'm an on-air personality okay he's just piggybacking you're a personality he's piggybacking off of our fan base to try to create some sort of fantasy celebrity fight career it's psychotic but won't he just get his ass kicked and then like that'll kind of bring him back down can we bet on it uh i don't even know because no because they didn't do that what would be the like the line if you're you're at the guess cocaine probably yeah yeah uh imagine ketamine boxing that would be hard i feel like cocaine would help academy now dude ketamine boxing is hilarious you just fall flat on the floor and start chewing the mess you start making out yeah dude boxing would be a [ __ ] trip um i'm in a skank fest next year you have no idea it truly might remember we tried to do we couldn't do any of these things anymore it's changed so much even since the last skank fest we had like an all drug show like one show we said every performer try a different drug so one person was on ketamine one person was on acid one person was on coke somebody someone has to do you're like two people get to be like done with their drugs in 30 minutes and then one guy's like yeah you got 10 hours after this okay i really committed um you won't do that anymore no i think it's dangerous i think young comics are [ __ ] crazy now and even like all like even like the naked rose battle i don't even know if we would do that anymore zack i don't know what do you think i mean in this day and age i feel like people are [ __ ] maybe just all dudes just keep it safe because dudes are [ __ ] cool yeah right i don't know we got a very nice review from the trans girl that did it yeah the truth she was treated she said she was treated very respectfully yeah she's true like a dude [Laughter] chest bump what's up thanks bro thanks for coming out sugar sugar by the day yeah nice [ __ ] nice [ __ ] thanks bro i had no problem with it okay real quick guys we must thank one of our incredible sponsors which is omego they are a modern bidet brand that is changing your entire bathroom experience anytime i think about the bidet that we had here which is a really incredible expensive bidet that we had to you know have the the guy that put the bathroom together he installed it it has this you know special tubing all this other [ __ ] it's a whole to do not amigo okay amigo makes personal bidet systems that are a cinch to install takes about 15 minutes to install it yourself i paid harrington twenty dollars an hour that means i paid harrington less than six dollars actually actually i put him five dollars to slow my bidet thank you very much zach shut the [ __ ] up or sometimes i don't know how to do math okay if you don't know what a bidet is it's a little stream of water that shoots into your [ __ ] and cleans it okay instead of using toilet paper like a savage you should be using a bidet it's essentially taking a shower for your [ __ ] every time you guys take a [ __ ] or piss ladies um or just came in from a long walk or if your guy sits when you pay you can use the bidet on your dick if you sit when you pee or if you don't want to shower you don't have swamp ass that's actually a great point zach if you're disgusting you're just thirsty if you're a disgusting creature and you don't want to shower you have swamp ass summer time sit on the bidet give a little squirty squirt boom no more itchy [ __ ] just saying uh these are not old school bidets they attach right to your toilet seat they're super easy you don't need to call a plumber it's all diy right now if you go to myomego.com r myomigo.com p make sure you use that url rap you're gonna say 15 off your entire omega bidet system that's myomego.com rap say 15 now go grab it amigo bidet and [ __ ] it it's holiday season christmas coming up grab one for your grandma i love it all right where will we um all right look also so i know i know i've been coming in i'm not gonna spend any time on it because i've been talking vr a lot on the show but population one it was the reason i was late today like honestly other days has been traffic population one like it's a game about lewis's household i did it naked uh i i dude playing playing vr naked is so [ __ ] funny it's just me in my [ __ ] house yeah yeah i was looking at that is it you recommend obviously it's [ __ ] dope okay i but uh this game is it's it's fortnite um for vr so there's [ __ ] building he goes it's [ __ ] dope dude and you drop in and you could fly it's pretty wild and i've only played one game at the training and then i played one game and i was late for that i was like i can't be any more late so much fun yeah because i was actually looking at the i guess but i'm not a crazy gamer or anything like that not really at all but i was like and i've always been like vr looks cool but like when they had the original one with like the cord out the back because this is too much this is very simple i should have [ __ ] i keep on saying i'm going to bring it i leave it at home because i wouldn't let you [ __ ] with it while we're here but it's um it's the technology's gotten better um it's obviously gonna get better this is the first uh one that i played that's like fortnight where it's a battle royale game and you [ __ ] you talk to these dudes like you're walking next to these guys this guy's from [ __ ] germany this guy's from [ __ ] wherever wow and it's i'm naked i really do i really can't even handle how much fun how much space do you need uh like you need maybe i think it's they say six by five oh so not the six six foot six five uh six point five by six point five because what's not the oculus what's the other company that does it the live or whatever that was the i don't know the big black one or whatever and like i know people got you need to hook it up to like a giant [ __ ] like computer basically yeah they're really good ones but those are [ __ ] better apparently those apparently like crazier experience but they're like heavy on your head and like well that's i think the cool thing about it is you can't get sucked into it like oh speaking of what you guys hope with that hold on you can't get sucked into it like um uh xbox or playstation because number one the battery life isn't that long number two it does strain your neck and eyes a little bit so you get 30 minutes or an hour out of it and it's like more than enough yeah but i had a virtual boy when i was a kid oh those were awesome literally they would be like uh take a break from this every 10 minutes yeah so your brain doesn't melt out of your ears yeah well that's why they say that you can't give it to kids um under 13. right well they won't be able to hold it would they no you can hold it it's not that heavy um and he he's fine with it but it's like i think they just don't know what it's going to do to my child yeah so i don't know they're just like just go on facebook instead [Laughter] get on twitter make a twitter account um i have to here's the thing okay so apparently the new xbox came out yesterday uh yeah or something right i don't even know and i want to switch over to playstation the playstation 5 is coming out on thursday thursday right shannon i think it might be out no no no you had to pre-order it oh okay yeah tomorrow the 12th so people are saying that i can't get one they're like dude there's no way you can get one i bet you could i think i [ __ ] can i feel like with this [ __ ] dope ass fan base real ass fans around the world okay i feel like somebody's got some [ __ ] connection dylan don't mock me piece of [ __ ] everyone in my [ __ ] twitch channel twitch.tv slash pr rattlesnake everyone's like you're not going to get one i was like are you out of your [ __ ] mind are you to your mind i get i almost goddamn guarantee i'll pay for it i don't want anything for free i don't look i don't ask anybody for anything it's a real ass rule okay don't ask for [ __ ] favors okay then people expect you don't want to be in debt to anybody in the [ __ ] world okay you want people to be in debt to you so i'll overpay i'll overpay but don't tell me i can't get one i mean you could buy one on ebay tomorrow for sure you just might pay an extra 500 bucks for it or something no i don't want to pay that much more like i said i pay like ten dollars more like i got your hundreds i overplay slightly i'll give you an extra hundo i think that's probably because i mean yeah obviously i can crazy overpay that's not impressive like what are they going for right now pull up the information like what's what's one on ebay because i saw something on amazon someone posted where they're like on amazon for the xboxes were like 1500 or something no way that's [ __ ] wild how much is a brand new playstation 5. can you pull this up dylan how do you not know that all for your [ __ ] at the beginning of the pandemic a switch was like a grand playstation 5 uh blu-ray edition console not that insane u.s plug white the lowest ask or buying bid okay so these are i don't want ebay yeah i want to see this is stockx what is the the box price 500 so an extra 300 that's not too bad an extra 300 is not terrible but did they only make a limited number are they going to roll out more they're just like waiting for the release i'm sure they just create the demand yeah yeah and right before christmas they're gonna probably release a bunch more exactly like by christmas you'll be able to but you'll be able to get one as a christmas present for someone if you want yeah i will never again buy dudes video games though like i bought madden for one of my boyfriends once and i was like why did i bought him like the new gta thinking i was like being really nice the day it came out worst [ __ ] thing i've ever done yeah um yeah why because you he just like plays video games yeah all day no more attention like it was like oh okay i just gave you a reason to ignore me and now you think it's okay because i bought it for you like [ __ ] why would i try not to play video games around my chat because she we have like a long distance relationship so she only comes down once a week for a couple days so i don't wanna be spending my time so i i like limit myself to not play video games around her um a lot of dudes want a chick that's just like hey yeah i play video games and i'll i'll cook for you and clean it's like my ex actually was like cr i'm not into video games and she was crazy into video games like she would like play and i would just like watch sports yeah that's i mean kenmore with me and kim when i started playing fortnite because she was into it okay so that was kind of close but she would just go in the other room she'd be in the bedroom and i'd be in the living room playing fortnite together um which was a weird it's a weird dynamic it is it does sort of like you're doing absolutely nothing so it's sort of i get why didn't rogan people were giving him [ __ ] because he was saying like video playing video games is pointless i don't know i feel like some video games definitely like hone your motor skills and stuff like some like the call of duty's and stuff like you gotta have really fast reflexes yeah but who the [ __ ] cares about honing those motorcycles what is that what is that skill in life gonna do yeah i don't know i don't know about that at all you know that's like maybe puzzle so you can [ __ ] you can your eyes can like move and your thumbs can move like you know you know yeah yeah fractions of a centimeter and what the [ __ ] does that i don't yeah probably nothing really it's just literally wasting your goddamn life um but yeah [ __ ] it you know once once once the virtual reality world once they figured out the real bugs and it will be at a time where you can put it on you'll be in a new world does it have the full because i remember reading about the oculus or the the other one where it's like does it have the full like motion where you look like every angle yeah like kind of like oh yes planes because that was i think the last oculus was like you could only go like it was like left to right and then like certain oh no no this shit's [ __ ] this shit's real deal when you when you can play 300 bucks yeah when you can put this on and just walk into a room because i did with poker the other day when i was playing poker that i was sitting down with people and i was like i like these people more than my friends in real life substantially more than that poker on the yeah on the oculus yeah you're sitting at a table and you're hanging out with these people and when when they can figure out the world where you know losers can not be losers anymore and it's like they got they had a cool avatar and they that you could sort of set your own life and but walk around but still have the physical feeling like you jump out a window and fly and you'll get your dick sucked in a [ __ ] like some hot [ __ ] i have a feeling if you jump out the window you're not gonna fly he's gonna be like i'm flying it's like splat no i'm telling you with uh you're saying with the feeling yeah yeah yeah it's [ __ ] it's so it'll it'll eventually be there and once they once that world is and they figure out that technology is better everyone's just going to put that thing on and disappear you know you could do all your shopping like right there today i couldn't figure out how to hit the one button on the game right so and i'm in the game i'm [ __ ] i'm like [ __ ] i had to like i didn't have to get out of the training mode for population one and right there i was like oh cool i'll just check the [ __ ] internet i'm like like in the virtual world and i was like dude how to you know and i i checked within the i didn't have to leave the virtual world to check how to [ __ ] fix that little [ __ ] bug is there like a movie mode like can you be like yes like you look like you're in a theater yes you could be in the [ __ ] movie a porn is incredible i hate look i don't want to spend anymore i've talked about it so much on the show it sounds like an oculus thing or um uh commercial but i really do it's it's probably pretty much lovely i played poker you played cards yeah like you know this is gonna end with you like i have this new game called grocery store where you pick one of the cards one of the games is uh it's called something like everyday jobs look it up i swear to job simulator job simulator and you walk in you're like i'm at the office i'm drinking coffee that's the whole game it's bizarre it's awesome dude i'm telling you right now the first time you pick it up and you they go shannon's office simulator is just you screaming at it there's a thing that shows you that trains you and they're like they're like pick up the little box and it's the first time you're using the thing and you gonna pick up the box and you're like oh that's that's neat like this first the first time you do like oh that's really neat and then you throw it you're like oh that's really neat you punch a little thing you're like ah this is and you're in the world already how much are the games like you buy them between 10 and 30 bucks for free yeah the most expensive game i purchased so far has been 30 bucks which is that population one yeah this is absolutely gonna end us i'm getting one honestly i'm getting one of these because i was actually on the fence about it and then i was like i'm waiting to hear someone i know it's really fun you're an indian guy yeah yeah please get down for my story it's basically a poo simulator representation matters that's good like you're just drinking pepto-bismol dude that's not what working at a store is you don't drink when i was sitting at the poker table you're sitting at the poker table you could you they i guess the things you spend money on because it's not even real gambling but i could buy like a six pack of beer yeah right you buy like tokens and [ __ ] or whatever and you could buy so then i could bring a six pack of beer and bring it and give out beers to everybody at the table and you're talking though yeah so it's like it's people with real voices and it's [ __ ] bizarre can you like if you say you had like five other friends could you all go to one table and probably because like i with the whole covet thing i have all these friends who are trying to play poker and like the only thing you can do is there's this one bizarre app called like poker with like five rs or something yeah on the app store it's the only way you can play poker with your friends yeah well exactly yes you can do that i mean it's who [ __ ] like all of this stuff right and i i don't want to be a coveted conspiracy theorist but it's like all of a sudden everybody is dependent on every app everybody is using all of our people talk about how our data is so valuable right data is the most valuable thing within one fell swipe worldwide everybody was just starting to give data away just i mean within out of nowhere so it's not a crazy conspiracy theory to say well there's probably a few companies that benefited in a massive massive way from these lockdowns and and it has nothing to do with our government or france's government or sweden's government no no it's about [ __ ] money and there's a currency exchange and people [ __ ] don't give a [ __ ] there's i think that there's people that are just the very very top that are benefiting in a massive massive way for us to be locked down i think it has to do with data mining i think it has to do with technology us being dependent on technology and they figured i mean dude it's they figured out a way to get us hooked on our phones that why are we running out of of change why don't we have to why was the weirdest thing why why don't we have changes like what did covet have to do with you guys can't print coins anymore it's it's so bizarre and i'm sure there's an answer and somebody's like you're an idiot whatever but you can't tell me there's not a little bit of [ __ ] weirdness there that all you we know that data is extremely valuable all of a sudden everybody worldwide is just on our phones utilizing every single [ __ ] app staying in tune with the news keeping our nose on our phone ordering all of our or whatever all of our food going onto facebook twitter google i mean it was just i i would love to see the jump in data that had what that was given since coveting since the lockdowns have happened well it's literally i think i mean because i will [ __ ] fall down this rabbit hole any day but i personally think it's a form of like control like i think it's a way that they need to absolutely control their citizens like this is how they're doing the kova tracing is through data every [ __ ] place you check in you scan your qr code like they know where you are they can ping you like i really think that's it when you can't pay with cash anymore and all of your transactions have to be tracked through a debit card or through a bank like there's a form of control like if these places aren't like oh you can't give us cash or anything like that everything has to be contactless and everything like that like there's definitely something larger going on at the top and i do think a lot of it's money related but yeah when you look at when people are like dude you're [ __ ] crazy people are trying you're like how do you not see the at the very least how do you not step back and go there's something weird going yeah like how do you not think like oh this is there's something that and it was all too convenient how all of this stuff kind of coincided that it's like weirdly enough don't worry we have apps that we can use this for and like oh look at us like those qr codes they've been using where do you scan i've never had to scan one of them oh my god so i've been i just came down to visit for the week and like i um i'm sorry can you get up on the mic yeah sorry um i came up for the week but like everywhere in bushwick it's like scan the qr code order three or four yeah for your uh to get the um like if you're going to get the menu oh yeah i thought you were saying like to just go in a place they're like scanning i mean the subway now i mean apple what like if you go on the subways and everything it's tapping apple pay that was before although you're saying that's the conspiracy they're like they set it up conveniently yeah and then i i i also you know they just announced i guess pfizer that the the covert vaccine is working literally days after the election was oh have you seen like [ __ ] the you know you can like bet on like the outcome of the presidential election or whatever like trump is still like a 12 chance to win really yeah well he's not giving it up but i'm saying but like people who are like actually putting real money on this are like it's he's not like a one percent you know like you you play poker like 12 percent chance that [ __ ] happens all the time that's not crazy that's not a crazy thing yeah i mean look i i don't pay attention any of that stuff i just know that it is uh it doesn't seem like they're giving it up and you it's so funny like twitter i just just for the sake of it because i switch back and forth between fox news and cnn just to sort of see the different takes and fox news going you know conspiracy they're [ __ ] they're they're you know throwing away all the ballots and blah blah blah and uh i guess i saw sasha baron cohen tweeted something that facebook is pushing you know these theories i i guess facebook's allowing people to post about like the video you mean uh sasha baron cohen tweeted that facebook is allowing people to tweet that it's basically like a stolen election all this yeah exactly whereas twitter twitter you can't even find anything if you click on like any of the news stuff yeah this is the dangerous moment trump won't consid uh concede facebook is spreading his lies about voting fraud mark history will judge you about what you do next you have a choice stand with trump or stay with democracy the whole world is watching now look i don't know what the [ __ ] going on right i really don't but i will tell you right now from an outside perspective from somebody who doesn't have a [ __ ] dog in the race it does seem like there's some shady [ __ ] going on it does seem like there was pr and i understand right and all right so i think there's without a doubt some [ __ ] young liberal poll worker that saw a bunch of trump votes and was like yeah i [ __ ] burn these or whatever it is like sure yeah they just why not why wouldn't they i mean the thing is people are trying to like people on the left are like trying to say like that happened zero times yeah that's right or like maybe it happened once why can't we look into it yeah and we'll hear but here's another one i'll take it a step further right so i don't really give a [ __ ] right i don't really give a [ __ ] because the reality is if we were to go and look at any of this [ __ ] under a real microscope and we knew the truth about everything they're probably cheating on both sides left and [ __ ] right in fact absolutely this is the beginning of [ __ ] time right yeah so so in my opinion the way it works is just get away with cheating better right 100 it's as simple as that like trump shouldn't have [ __ ] made himself so disliked by the american public or half the american public that people would be willing to [ __ ] go to jail by burning ballots like that's like that's another thing that's a trump should have considered that he want you know he he was so um combative with half of this country that it's like people got really up and arms nobody and look people hated george bush i i i george bush i remember how much people hated george bush everybody's like worst president laughing stock dude i went to amsterdam while george bush was in office and i remember people were like yeah dude they hated americans it was sort of this this attitude and trump is like 10 times american yeah but did they but trump was is like 10 times like the scathing hatred um so i'm just saying like i don't i'm not gonna sit here and [ __ ] you know if they were to look at every single aspect of this i'm sure you know it's all a [ __ ] scam i mean the one thing i would say is that because like he put all these like whatever conservative supreme court justices you're like if they don't go with him then you're like look there's your answer like you're saying he [ __ ] put all these people on his side they don't agree with him so at least there's that but i don't even follow i just think it's funny though that like the last four years the the democrats in the left spent the like all of their energy saying that like the russia the elect like russia stole the election this was all illegitimate like we absolutely have to question it and now that the trump campaign is saying hey we're going to question this they're like no no you can't do that just accept that it's impossible that anything well they're both they're all [ __ ] that's what i'm saying it doesn't matter whoever's like they will flip-flop and they there's no backbone on any of this [ __ ] on either side um so yeah you know you could say the same thing about people on the right um but but it's gonna be interesting to see what happens uh i'm trying to [ __ ] let's stay away from politics because we'll [ __ ] go i've never voted yeah i don't believe it as you should i know i don't think i should because i'm not a male are we from florida why were you where are we in florida i had a breakdown well no i am i was supposed to be i was supposed to be traveling like cove had [ __ ] my entire year up i was supposed to be traveling and i like subletted my room because i was like [ __ ] off and going on another like pray love thing as i tend to do every few years what does he pray love thinking it's like this white woman [ __ ] where you just like travel and pretend you're finding yourself but really you're just like smoking about kids and yeah smoking yeah but i uh and like a couple years ago i went to bali and like certified to teach yoga and did all this [ __ ] and then this year i was like i'm gonna do like a european tour and i was supposed to go back to bali actually and then everything got [ __ ] and my family's from florida and i was like well i guess i'm going to move your microphone a little bit i was like so i guess i'm going to move home so that's what i did so i've been in florida for and i'm yeah it's florida i like florida i spent quarantine there it was awesome where where were you in like fort lauderdale area see i'm i was over in like st pete tampa except for my family so i'm going there in a month it's nice but i get like just new york [ __ ] ruins you because once you're here and you see like just like the pace of the city the people like even just like the food and everything like that anywhere else you go you're like this is a nice break but then i don't know i get antsy and i get bored and i'm like i need something like else going on alex has always had a crazy girl thing about her she's always like probably she's a crazy girl probably yeah i was gonna say it might be because i'm a crazy person are you actually crazy i think so i'm definitely an agent of chaos years ago she asked to babysit my child and i just could look at her face and i was like no i'm great with kids though i looked right in her face and i was like no way and i was like i can just tell and i knew nothing about you there was no story that this was connected i just looked into your icy eyes and i said that this [ __ ] you just look like the kind of girl who has spent a saturday night crying on the phone holding your shoes not that i can remember but i very may well you know what i mean though like the kind of girl is like yelling her boyfriend's name into a phone holding her high heels and scream crying on the train well i'm worse than that though because like i will show up like i won't even just call like i'll take it one step further and i'm like hello excuse me i'm here like no i do crazy [ __ ] but like i think i've run out of crazy things to do so i'm kind of like that's that's the scariest thing to hear from you just do the second time crazy person you know i don't have any crazy [ __ ] left to do no i can't repeat my art so like i need to keep thinking of like kind of crazy [ __ ] to do yeah she has a [ __ ] like a wildcard i'm telling you right now you did i'm going to be honest with you i'm going to say this advice to every man in the world you do not have sex with alexander every man you do not [ __ ] this girl a warning to every man out there because there's no way it ends good and look i'm not hating i've heard nothing i know you dated a couple one guy that i'm friends with i did a couple comics um they've said nothing to be honest i think the reason they've said nothing is because they are afraid of you yes i think they fear you're crazy i think it's a lot it's like i mean my first like when elm street stopped talking about freddie so that he would go away so two generations have to not speak of her and then nobody will know who she is until somebody brings her up yeah and then the parents all look at each other like what why she gets i just like you know slash like have you ever slashed tires uh no i've never slashed tires but i did oh god here we go i want to hear the crazy girl because i this is a warning to every man can we this is actually great this is because we i feel like when that tlc chick burned the [ __ ] bathtub or whatever the football player she's probably like taking notes she's like bathtub absolutely iconic i talked recently i'm dating a girl she's a younger chick and she destroyed a piece of my property because i was doing shady [ __ ] online and what did she destroy uh she didn't destroy it i got it fixed it was uh she cut the cord to my refrigerator [Laughter] yeah she's like i'm gonna spoil all your frozen meat [ __ ] all your food but you know we i got it i got it repaired but regardless it was a it was a moment where i was like when you do that there's it's a it's a crazy that is a crazy thing it's just there's i think some people it's like people are colorblind to it like in her mind she's like she's like what it's not that crazy you were dick you [ __ ] were being a scumbag on instagram well this is what i did so i i was dating this is years ago i was dating this guy i moved to rhode island to live with them everything like that we broke up it was [ __ ] i like moved in with a friend of mine but we were still seeing each other and [ __ ] and everything like that great it was you know healthy and one night i went out with my friends and he texted me and he's like i want you to come over and i said okay well i didn't drive so it's going to be a minute like i need to wait for like my ride and then i can come so i pulled up to his house and there's another car in the driveway and i was like but he was a drug dealer so i was like yeah maybe someone's just buying who knows so hold on so silver one cause i miss uh for i want to i missed you he told you to come over he told me to come over and there was a drug there was a car he said did he say i'm sorry so but he didn't say wait a little while i said come over yeah i just said i wanna i want you to come over and i had said to him like hey well i didn't drive so whenever my friends want to leave i can go get my car from her house and i'll come there but i you know it's going to be a minute so he thought he had some time yeah honey had some time whatever and i pull up and i'm like what is this that's it by the way that guy right there real ass dude that's i was just thinking that i was honestly his it that that is like literally that's i'm a similar guy i'm a similar guy like you're a scumbag yeah i'm a scumbag it makes my dick pump up to play on that that dangerous edge and he knew what he was dealing with he knew what type of crazy [ __ ] you are it's not like he didn't know what he's [ __ ] dealing with here so then i was like hey um so i i i get to his house i see this car there and i'm like what the [ __ ] is this and i open the door and there's this like fat redheaded chick sitting on the couch oh it's never a hotter chick too it's never a hotter chair no never and i was like what the [ __ ] and all of a sudden he started this this i think is really funny like his instinct was to start putting his back to the knife block so he could like block me from it like i don't know why that was his first move self-preservation but he's backing up and i start [ __ ] losing my [ __ ] i'm like who the [ __ ] i'm about to buy a new knife block i don't have a knife block and i've been shopping i've been shopping for knife blocks shannon i need the best knife block on the market but i found it and i started flipping out on whatever and i basically just started screaming and then this [ __ ] was like i think you should leave and i was like to you yeah this is when you were in florida this is in rhode island and i start losing my mind and i'm like who the [ __ ] are you and i was like did he not tell you i was coming over like did he not and i just start going off and you're fat no but then i go did he not tell you i'm pregnant wasn't pregnant um how many times have you told a man that you're pregnant that's why when you weren't that's the only thing like i said i won't repeat my [ __ ] because it's already you know i mean i feel like oh so you were trying to [ __ ] with him yeah and i wanted to [ __ ] with both of them because i'm like [ __ ] all of you yeah so then anyway i woke up the next day i've dated i've dated so many girls that have all of these stories like combined yeah that's great this is like my first like real partly into like insane so then i woke up the next day how old were you here 23. okay and i'll do now 31. okay yeah and i was like [ __ ] i did i did that and he's texting me and he's like are you really pregnant and i was like [ __ ] [ __ ] double down luckily my friend had just found out she was knocked up and i was like send me your ultrasound no so i photoshopped it wow sent it back to him and was like so [ __ ] you like [ __ ] you i'm not dealing with you anymore you're a piece of [ __ ] i'm leaving and i was like i'm blocking your number oh thank god right crazy girl with photoshop skills is scary yeah i'm great so then he wanted to um he's like we can make this work and i was like but i went over there one time and i was like listen if i see that [ __ ] car in your driveway again i will [ __ ] it up and then i decided i was gonna break up with him and i didn't want to talk to him anymore but it was like my last night decided i was moving to new york it was my last night up there me and my friends all went out got absolutely hammered and my friend's driving back and she's like let's drive by his house and i was like well i think we wanted to like ding dong ditch him originally we stopped and the car was there and i was like do you have like a roadside kit or something in the back of your car so i took a hammer to like both rear-view mirrors the back windshield all the tail lights the headlights everything like that and i'm just like bye because some poor fat girl was getting dick i had said if i see her car again i will [ __ ] it up you stand by this i still i had told that to you she kept her work she's a woman of her work like what don't try to eight years later you're not even saying like maybe you overreacted that like it was already over between you and that guy i told her i would do this now what am i gonna do like [ __ ] out and be like i was just kidding i was upset and they never said anything to you about this oh no of course they did like i had the rhode island police calling me when i first moved down here but i was like hi i live in new york i don't know what to tell you you got the wrong girl yeah so they there was just no proof they couldn't do anything yeah the weird thing he would still text me i mean that was proof right there this is this yeah what are they gonna go back eight years later i don't know what the statute is hopefully if i was that [ __ ] i would be pursuing this imagine she's like it just listens to vodka she goes what the [ __ ] could you imagine i don't even remember her name but she's been waiting for you to slip up on a podcast all these years i need to go to the rhode island section of my fat girl handbook [Laughter] i don't remember her name but i could probably figure it out no the last petty thing i did and this one i'm not proud of but i i kind of found it funny at the time i was dating this guy i don't really know what's going on there it's frustrating but whatever but anyway we got no huge fight and he was like i'm [ __ ] done and he left like his house so i was like okay i don't know so i left his own house he left his own house but i took all the batteries out of every single like remote or something he had this petty as stupid as [ __ ] that i could ever do and i was like that's just annoying enough yeah so like you got it in convenience and what did you say what would you do with the batteries i just tossed them like i had them in my price you don't feel bad about destroying that poor fat girl's car but you feel bad about taking the batteries out of this guy's remote yeah because i like him like i care about him and i feel bad like that was annoying and that was stupid to do and it was very childish but at the time i'm just like such an [ __ ] that i'm like giggling to myself is i'm like taking the battery out of his computer mouse this is why women will never run trip they shouldn't i um they're you there's something about the ch it's a chick you naturally have dark hair i do see dark hair with light eyes it's a point that i've made before that is a sign of a crazy woman interesting more often than not if you meet a chick who has light eyes and dark hair she's got a darkness inside of her there's something in there and i don't know what it is but i've never had any darkness every girl every girl i'll give it to her every girl that i've dated that has been [ __ ] really crazy has been and all the girls i've dated have been crazy every single one but just the ones i just like crazy [ __ ] i don't know what it is but i'm getting better in my old age i have no i said that to my girlfriend i was like i'm over the crazy girl [ __ ] okay i'm completely over i don't i don't want to deal with it anymore i don't want to have that anxiety that feeling my [ __ ] house is going to be burnt down lose all your batteries see there's a problem you and i don't know this but my assumption is you've been physically abused multiple times in your life and i'll tell you why yes why am i laughing at that and this is i i don't know the situation but i'm going to say like you are the common denominator can we point that out oh i think recently i've started to realize i'm like yeah i'm very punchable i'm just saying you should never hit a [ __ ] woman but i'm just saying if there's been a lot of guys that where you've driven them that's how i learned you've driven now do you fool me once now do you date guys that is it that you date guys that are hitters or you turn guys into hitters i think i have this awful quality about me where i i agree bring out the worst in people like i really and i think i do and it's terrible and it's something that i've like very recently been trying to like reflect on and have this like um kind of like soul-searching moment of like what do i do to these people why am i such a monster and how do i fix it and like i'm hoping it's fixable but like i guess you should give all those guys that have hit you a pass i feel like you should give him a clean slate right now like you should just say from this moment on and i don't know that gino hit her no he didn't you know from a generation that would oh yeah like like he's not like that's you know that's his that's not a schtick that's who he is he's just back in the hand though yeah just a little [ __ ] crap let those headbands fool you yeah uh in fact lighting the catskills this week [ __ ] should we play my my brand new completely original game that i completely conceptualized about myself ladies and gentlemen time for this brand new game we're gonna play with alex angleboat trashy or classy will we find out if you are trashy or if you are classy what do we have an intro god [ __ ] damn it totally my fault okay you want to say it again ladies time for my brand new original completely unique game not inspired by any podcast that left the network trashy or classy it was such a good decision to put me on the skinny one [Laughter] it said traitors what it's our original show original idea it's great uh so uh yeah so uh yeah she's trashy there we go real piece of garbage sits before us uh we just figured that out man that takes a whole podcast to do what was that was the game yeah was that yeah don't go near my kid okay i'm actually [ __ ] great with kids well no you there's no way you're great i'm great with kids would you because you know what it is i have patience with them like adult like little like kids especially little ones when they do something dumb i'm like you're new here like you haven't figured out how to act like adults that are like i'm like i get away from you my son i took my son to sparring on friday night okay and he did jiu jitsu with the [ __ ] hottest girl i've ever seen like this girl was so hot and i was in just jealous awe of my son i was like holy and i know that he loved it too he told his mom that's and he rolled with like five people but he mentioned the girl's name when he got home i was like oh he [ __ ] loved it dude she was [ __ ] smoking god damn it good for him yeah good for him little guy anyway sorry no but i like kids i do i'm good with them i used to nanny yeah could shannon do we think we should let her watch baby james at any point i believe her that she has patience for children i believe that she's good with kids i don't believe that she would hurt a child but do you ever see the season of uh american horror story where it was like the trump season no i know it's a good it's a good uh good show but the one the girl she was like a babysitter in it and the one scene she shows the kid like like gore websites like beheadings and [ __ ] and she's showing this like little seven-year-old boy she was like he's gotta watch you'll get desensitized too and he's like oh she's like no what she like turns his head and she like makes him watch it and you remind me of that babysitter i mean i don't think i would do that but i've definitely like just videos of gino's acts [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] oh god those are jokes from the reagan administration but honestly good for him oh [ __ ] me uh so yeah i i feel like you would do dangerous things like that like it's not so much you wouldn't hurt my child you wouldn't but i feel like you'd be like you know what he's ready for his first porno and you'd show him i don't think i would do something like that traumatizing but i've definitely like had my little cousins in the car and been like i'm not gonna play like [ __ ] kids bop so like you can listen to the defeater or not with me like we're gonna like it's time to grow up here like i i thought about that specifically recently where you see parents and they're like look my kid loves nine inch nails or tulle and you're like no no you're a selfish piece of [ __ ] and instead of playing disney songs in the car you decided that your kids are going to have to listen to tulle wow you couldn't disconnect and that's fine this is who you are yeah this is why you're not going to be around my child this is other parents as well this is parents you don't have the same responsibility as a babysitter you could be like hey let me show them some cool music that's where they should hear some cool [ __ ] music i don't know what the feeder is but i'm sure it's great okay um so but a parent like er i drive my side all the time right i'm with my son i never make my son listen to [ __ ] my horse [ __ ] we listen to disney songs we listen a little shop a horror soundtrack over and over and over again and it's whatever he wants yeah well the good thing about disney too is he was anti-semitic so like i could understand that is true yeah that i would do you know the good thing about hitler is that he whistled while he worked do you know that teddy it's a fact i believe that and then mussolini put his sweetie now it doesn't work so as long as we stay away from politics this is a [ __ ] good show don't let us go down that rabbit hole shannon from now on we need some sort of alarm when we're good when we're getting too political okay i want an alarm being like you're an idiot you don't know what you're talking about wow wow did that buzzer say rattlesnake rattlesnake well that one said zackle snake zackelstein so there's a gesso snake there's rattlesnake rattlesnake is when i say something hilarious but it's a should be a little bit more punny a little more the button with dust all over that's all we never get a little punny little funny that's that's a nice little wrassling drop now if i if i if i dunk on you let's say i [ __ ] just shove my [ __ ] nuts right in your mouth then i could drop a [ __ ] uh uh lewis attack oh exact attack a guest attack see that's it's just a different sort of thing we signify the type of funny hilarious little bit or joke we do on the show shannon edit all that out that's not interesting for the audience or your listener that's fine no that's cool i just couldn't when you when you i know that's why you do it pretty [ __ ] i'm pretty awesome louis have you thought about starting a podcast i have i've thought about it i thought about starting a podcast network as well you should dead business terrible idea we should just cancel all this and manage everyone's patreons for 25 percent of their patreon money and then a better plan patreon pips why don't we become patreon pimps instead we'll get rid of the [ __ ] studio we'll get rid of the [ __ ] website the platform we'll make more money that way probably right i was hanging out with a friend of mine whose uh girlfriend is a stripper or whatever and she hasn't only found a [ __ ] no she's not a [ __ ] uh at least not that i know of but she has an only fans and she was like there's this guy and basically his because you know like only fans girls a lot of their time spent talking to just like the dudes yeah and there's this guy who basically for like thirty percent is like does all the time i know that i tried to make that my job i invented the job and he does five different chicks so all these guys are just talking to some dude all day i know and then he'll be like oh they asked for this photo of you doing this can you send it to me then she's like she sends it to him he like sends it to the guy but like these dudes are literally just like you're paying all this am signed up for like 42 dollars in only fan [ __ ] that i just forgot about you just reminded me in that moment just reminded me i've looked at their pages they're just they're just sucking my money out right now for no reason because i have a moment of horniness and i'm like i want to see this chicks [ __ ] yeah god i'm an idiot god i'm a fool they don't like you lois do you ever do the talking oh that actually hurts yeah that actually hurts i really did you just dunked on yourself no i don't talk on them i don't talk to them i have a i have a secret name it's not even my name smart it's just puerto rican rattlesnake right exactly so anonymous subtle all right we must thank bluechu for my rockhard boner you guys don't know this but the entire show i've had a raging boner swear to god okay swear to god rock climbing from over here it's been distracting for me i have no blood left in my brain it's all going to my dick this whole time that explains a lot think about how good of a host i am think about how good of a host i am that i am able to keep the show on track be funny be unique be uh dead a dead bit dad all while having no blood in my brain and being in my penis because of my blue chew i love blue chew it's essentially a performance enhancement drug for the bedroom you chew it up about a half an hour before you bang you're gonna have the hardest boner you've ever had i'm telling you right now don't even tell the girl take it behind her back she's gonna think you're a god in the bedroom she's gonna be like oh my god this guy thinks i'm so hot i've never felt sort of a raging hard [ __ ] in my entire life and you're like no no no you are not that hot [ __ ] you are okay and i'm taking drugs to make my dick this hard okay look this is a tell us all this time you could take a [ __ ] dick pill and get your day card you'd probably find them at a gas station somewhere you could probably find them if you want to talk to your doctor about it and say hey give me some cyalis or some viagra but guess what you don't need to do that because the same activist ingredients as those two you don't need to go to your doctor and have a weird conversation with them this guy checks you for cancer and make sure that you [ __ ] are living your life to healthiest you don't want to be having a weird conversation about your dick with him okay what you do is you go online you have an online physician that takes about 10 minutes less time than it takes to install an omega bidet you could have a prescription for dick pills they come to your house and discreet packaging and once you're set up with a prescription it shows up at your house every single month and guess what it's [ __ ] works it really i'm going to tell you right now you have more dick inside of you than you know and you got to try out blue chew we're actually going to give you a free trial for the holiday season this is a holiday exclusive we've never done this before you get a free trial of bluetooth bluetooth.com all you got to do is use the promo code rap that's bluetooth just like it sounds b-l-u-e-c-h-e-w use that promo code rap or you just pay five dollars shipping special holiday introduction is only going to be this month they're never doing this again they've never done it before five dollar shipping free blue chew this is crazy try it out right now use that promo code rap okay let's get back into it um all right let's see here we go we gotta talk about this i think this is [ __ ] hilarious the gap pull up the gap story dillon dillon dildo dildy excuse me where's harrington is he here with the stuff yet now right no he's not here first of all before we even go into the political part of this tell me that doesn't look like a harley quinn costume for fat girls so the gap gets mocked for a half blue half red unity hoodie uh the one thing we know is that together we can move forward and then they posted this picture and it's not even a real hoodie so who mocked them chrissy teigen i could see one what'd you say probably yeah it says yeah we can just walk sideways depending on the city we're in go ahead what does the next one say uh thanks what dylan what symbolize how we should all be getting along better it's basically just all of twitter flamed them and then they basically just had to take it down and be like hey guys it's not a real hoodie um yeah i mean [ __ ] people are crazy right now people don't want unity either people like people are posting like if you voted for trump [ __ ] you you voted for racism you you're like like i don't know man maybe some people you know they're not they don't live in that world like a lot of people live in the world of like online social politics and then there's a lot there's the vast majority of people who just go to work every day they go home every day they're like they don't really understand what the world what being woke is and they don't give away the term sjw or a proud boy they don't so when they mention the proud boys and the most people around the country had no [ __ ] idea what that was right so a lot of people didn't vote because of racial injustice they voted because they were like oh you know i want to save money in taxes and this is the [ __ ] i you know they're from a family that's voted red their entire lives and that's just that they don't really pay attention to politics it's not necessarily because they are supporting bigoted views or no no you're wrong there are like there's not a single racist in this gun you're right i'm sorry i'm sorry you're right move on sorry god damn it by the way was gap the one who did the the i wanna hear you're an idiot you're an idiot shut the [ __ ] up shut up politics please the coolest monkey in the jungle whoa that was h m and that was absolutely [ __ ] hilarious i remember that that was well i was wondering i'm like is gaff of a history of it was the first time that uh the tarpon sword was real dude of the week it was a big moment on the show we've never done that before to a building buildings don't give your last due to the week it was that and uh the world trade center in 93. 93.93 dude yeah then they lost the title in 2001 yeah this is the nothing but 18 m's h but if you're a m if you see the racism there right so if you if you see that and you're like oh that's [ __ ] racist that's [ __ ] crazy okay so here's my real question was that kid really wearing that no or that's a photoshop right sure i think a lot i feel like had it been on set somebody would have went let's skip this one yeah yeah but i think one person would have been like it's like when you shop for something and it's the same model and they just replaced the shirt yeah you brought it up last week or the last episode with supermarket sweep when they had the [ __ ] ratchet black chick and then they had an inflatable watermelon for her to pick up in the island that was it was without a doubt a racist prank from a [ __ ] production person no i didn't believe him i thought he was making up i was like all right another zac of mikko oh zack attack i was so rolling my eyes at this and then when they showed this [ __ ] chick with a [ __ ] weave just grabbing it and jumping up and down with a giant inflatable watermelon it was delightfully racist just what a great little moment and you know that was deliberate right that was actually deliberate i really believe that like what's leslie jones doing like she's looking at that goes yep exactly so but also it's funny so much money do i watch the first season of chappelle show i started watching it last night dude it is [ __ ] bonkers how far they went yeah you don't remember how like they were like there's the whole the whole sketch was just about how a chick had big titties it's just chappelle being like i sure do love your titties i mean like what yeah it was great i love it um do that anymore yeah this is yep yeah this is great watermelon [Music] i think we should be trying to [ __ ] tyra banks she was getting flamed by like black twitter as well because she posted a video play the tire banks video where she's talking about how we need to [ __ ] start healing and moving forward and some kumbaya [ __ ] which is it's look it's kind of gay but it's true i mean you know who [ __ ] cares we we why are we living in a [ __ ] world where we are constantly at odds with each other well that's the thing people want to be mad and they were going to be mad either way so right now it was like i just feel like the same like i'm not even getting political but like if trump got elected people were gonna be upset no i'm saying play the siren here we go see and now that he's not elected they're like i still don't want to be friends with you we still have to hate each other and it's like okay so you just want to be mad either way it's bizarre yeah can you play the play the tiger ranks video you got to find it for a second that's fine yeah yeah she went off on this thing being like you know you got to look at people that you don't agree with and you have to you know just understand you love each other and blah blah blah blah and it's like i know there's something to that there is something to the fact that you need to work together and communicate and people are going to have different ideas and you can't stomp your feet you can't teach the next generation of children that if somebody doesn't agree with you that you have to be at war with them at odds with them i mean people come from different backgrounds people come from you know they have different foundations and different perspectives i mean it's what makes this country great yeah it's like it's like so different you go places and it's like them could not be more different than yeah exactly you literally go to neighbors can become completely different cultures you know in such a massive way a city like new york is great for that exact reason but this country just in general is great for that reason um and i think that people lose sight of that you should be willing to learn from people that don't think the exact same way that you think or at least even understand the perspective of where they're coming from because i think a lot of it too is like i think a lot of it's generational and i think being able to understand like why somebody would think that way and be like oh like this person has never been exposed to this and this and that doesn't make them a bad person but like it's good to understand that instead of just shutting down completely and being like also like we are raised by the generation before us so it's like that is part of who we are right and you have to you know look i don't know who my [ __ ] aunt voted for i don't really give a [ __ ] who my aunt voted for she's 82 years old she's in different generations she has a different perspective she's got a right to have her perspective so i don't understand like it's a very immature way to look at things to kick and stomp and go you don't think the same way as me so you have to become my enemy and i have to be against you and that's on both sides i just see it a lot more from people on the left um you know i live in this world where we do you know i i we have this podcast and we say these [ __ ] things online what are you gonna hit the alarm hit the alarm fine i was gonna cut you off by saying that we have the video instead let's see go what a tire bank say hi have you been having any issues with friends or people that you used to be so close to but because of you being on one side and then being on the other side and having totally different opinions and thoughts and beliefs have driven you apart well i think today is the day to reach toward them and say you know what i don't necessarily agree with everything that you believe but you're my friend you're my family member and i love you and now it's time to heal now it's time to go back to the relationship that we used to have and we can disagree and that's okay all right shut her up she's making me sick um but yeah you saw even the comments on the side being like no not when it comes to racism xenophobia and blah blah blah blah blah blah it's like yeah i don't know it's it's uh i i would like to think that once a smoke clears people are gonna [ __ ] calm down a little bit i hope so god i hope so yeah yeah that's i said this before i mean i imagine somehow trump pulls this out though oh dude did you see like all the celebrations on saturday night everywhere yeah like i was in mccarran park or whatever it was basically like a music festival like there was people were drinking champagne like pop it was crazy like there was djs and [ __ ] i'm like all those people on the other side of the coin like if trump one would have been smashing a target yeah of course like would have been literally inside a target lighting it on fire and like if that somehow goes against them they are not going to handle it's going to be a problem it's going to be a real thing like what i said when um before the election happened i said you know if biden wins i was like my hope is the upside would be that they stopped coming after the arts and comedy and they sort of like feel like they have that control and that power so i i hope they move on other things but i don't know it's sort of like i think it's also intoxicating to be in these [ __ ] battles constantly i think people get online and they go like oh i'm doing something and they're they feel like they're warriors and they're getting out there and they're you know they're a part of something finally because they're not really actually doing anything else right like people have people have dedicated their entire lives and like careers to canceling people like i do we think that's not going to change though now or i feel like these people are like emboldened they're like haha [ __ ] we're in charge everybody's getting cancelled maybe that's what i worry about i have no idea we'll see what happens yeah um it is just sort of a crazy time to be alive to be honest with you uh moving on without getting [ __ ] too political come on what happened there dylan started going down that rabbit hole again uh mom tries to push kid in front of car to claim insurance let's do that one that's fun was she uh woman is jewish yeah was she white or was she not was she white let's say i show them dylan's going crazy where's those tits on i'm sorry yeah okay what is it there's some volume on there too dill what country is this in this is in asia wait was she trying to wow i've seen like 50 of these before i don't think she was trying to push the kid it looks like to be honest with you it looks like she's trying to pretend no it looks like she was just trying to do a slip and like a pretend like she was hit here's what it looked like what happened it looks like this car was about to hit the kid so it looks like she wants to grab the kid and then she was like oh [ __ ] i have an opportunity to pretend i was hit by this car that is art right there i have seen like 20 videos like that from china where someone like just gets tapped and then they just fall down and they're like they're just like i don't know um i think they have and i'm not being i'm not joking i think there's different laws there where if you hit somebody with your car you are responsible for them for like ever yeah yeah for all of their care for the rest of their life so what happens is people tons of hitting are like is a cab driver hit somebody they're like [ __ ] them somebody somebody hit a baby and then they'll [ __ ] not only just say [ __ ] them they'll [ __ ] roll back over it to make sure that they're dead i see yeah because it's cheaper to pay for the funeral cost than the and like the basically yeah the life of their yeah yeah so they kind of there's murdering people [Laughter] [Applause] to go i mean [ __ ] sometimes like i was i i would love to [ __ ] get by like hit by a cab or like a city bus or something like that like not like really i mean america is the land of opportunity exactly but like enough injured that like i got a cute little settlement out of it like i would take that i think i don't think so i think what the mom was trying to do in this video i think she was trying to say that she was diving for the key yeah bang the side of the car and then lay down yeah like you almost hit my kid but you hit me instead yeah right like i said she got like double points yeah yeah is that two points i think getting hit i think in order to sue and actually have it be worthwhile i think you're actually going to be dealing with a lot of physical pain maybe i'm wrong i feel in america no because you can just sue for anything but you think too is for it to be really worthwhile like like if you fell on the steps here let's say shannon's leaving work and she you know we didn't ice the steps and she slips and falls um unless she's actually hurt and can prove she's really hurt she's only going to get a couple you know maybe 20 30 000 who knows right it's not going to be like life-changing money it's not going to make or break any anything how much would thirty thousand dollars change your life i don't think it would change my life it wouldn't change your life at all i would just say that you can wait off my shoulders for a couple of months get thirty thousand dollars you put your cards right baby girl trip to jamaica the trip to jamaica is a lot of money okay trying to get shannon to come did you make it with me and my girlfriend oh that'd be fun i love you yeah we'll [ __ ] little threesome action on the beaches of jamaica what a fun time in a pandemic louis that's just your responsibility grow the [ __ ] there's no pandemic in jamaica no there's pandemic at all no way no no way we could be smoking blunts with jamaicans eating some [ __ ] jerk chicken having making love how cool would that be shannon you need to open yourself up a little bit think about it do they have any quarantine requirements there right now not for me you have to get tested first did they test you there or here before you they got to see your paperwork when you land yeah and that's it that's pretty sweet see i think that's all [ __ ] because i was supposed to get a covet test when i landed at laguardia and they just asked me they were like have you been exposed to coven 19 no how do you have any of these symptoms no they took my temperature that was it well they tell you to fill out paperwork i just did that and so like i probably shouldn't say this on a podcast but because we were just in austin like a week and a half ago and then they were like fill out the forum and then i just i literally didn't put any of my info on it yes yeah dropped it in the box i'm like i don't want to be on a list of yeah it's a little weird i i didn't do that i definitely filled out the thing i gave them all my information i'm not from this country i was like i want to get yeah you know you're not are you canadian yeah i was like i don't know but if you go back to can i went back to canada and they straight up like they're strict about it like you gotta fill out this form you have to talk to can you visit canada right can i visit canada uh i don't think so right it's but for me to go they require a 14-day self-isolation and they [ __ ] call you every day wow they and like that you can't get around because like you have to go when you speak to customs they're like where are you staying and you have to give them the address that you're staying at but you're talking to a person whereas i'm like coming from texas like you just dropped this piece of paper in a box right can you get a rapid test now can you just purchase them is that the way it works i heard you hear about rapid tests yeah i did a half an hour one yeah yeah you could purchase it and how much are they i don't know i was 125. because i'd rather just [ __ ] buy it and not have people [ __ ] but they don't accept so in canada they're trying to because like it's such an issue no no no i'm saying for my phone my own personal oh just to know you know when i come back because i'm going to arizona i have to take one when i go to arizona this weekend with harrington um but when i come back i don't have to take one but i am coming from you know flying in from arizona and going out to legionnaires ganks and doing these shows i'd rather just have the hey i know for a fact i don't [ __ ] have it well chappelle was at the stand on friday night and and he did like a private show and anybody who had to go want to go watch it or like who was invited to watch it had to do a nasal swab rapid test and they like penned them in like this thing of chairs where they had to all basically like they were in the the back room got the test and then had to wait in this like pen of chairs like away from everybody else while they waited for the test and then once they got the the negative then they could go downstairs interesting but he like paid for all the rapid tests wow yeah yeah did anyone test positive i don't think so probably not probably not so fast i know but that's i was like i'm not going to go down the rabbit hole but like isn't it convenient that as long as you get the dog i'm not getting it i i 100 had coveted i i lost myself where the [ __ ] is harrington right now he's getting his raps he's he's on the heavy bag right now he's making me so [ __ ] angry if he doesn't show up with these raps dude it's over put your money on john matthews if harrington doesn't show up these reps i'm telling you right now oh shannon yes friday what we got we got uh ian coming in i actually right before the show he just texted me that he can't make it oh my god you gotta get a real ass real ass podcast guest host you guys could figure it out or i could zoom through a zoom let's figure it out now talk about it right now right now talk about the fans want to know that's why they love this show because we don't hide anything from them we're not [ __ ] phonies like everyone at compound media right yeah thanks now i like the compound guys i have nothing to do no no no we know how you feel about compound media i have fun over there let it be known alex jungle bird hates him i did two shows this week i did a christie mayor's show with shannon actually on monday night and then he told me that and i hopped in for the end of uh in hot water yesterday all right look we're gonna wrap this one up you guys have been a lot of fun please support everyone that comes on this [ __ ] show alex underscore alex underscore engelbert it's hard to say it's hard to [ __ ] say alex underscore alex understand say alex underscore engelbert three times fast go alex underscoring over alex underscoring gopher alex underscoring gilbert i mean it's her name yeah it's mine it is my name alex underscore ankle burn exactly that's a tongue [ __ ] twister jack alex underscore angle bird alex underscore anglebert alex underscore yes that's hard no he didn't he didn't get there i think he's actually slow alex underscore angle alex underscoring alexander's crack alex on the scraggle alex underscore angle bert alex underscore and goldberg alex underscore everyone that's hard as [ __ ] to say i should get a new last name god damn it well it's i think the underscore is not helping louis underscore gomez underscore gomez lowe's underscore gomez easy peasy [ __ ] alex engelbert alex yeah even a few fans alex engelbert is hard to say in general would anyone like to marry me so i can get a new last name i will leave your batteries and car intact supply your own batteries she's a tough one ladies and gentlemen stay away from alex engelbert i'll tell you right now batteries will be involved uh thank you guys for supporting the show make sure you guys subscribe guesses one.com use that promo code rap we'll be back on friday with another show wish harrington good luck this weekend and me i am in a blindfolded cowbell boxing match as well let's not forget this okay thank you both um good luck to both of us team rattlesnake no i like it it's okay i like it fire it off early peace that's all folks

Channel: Luis J. Gomez

Views: 7,103

Rating: 4.6146789 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: xKWE6TTJ6iA

Length: 82min 5sec (4925 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 13 2020