r/CursedComments - Funny Posts V11

25 years of ads peeled away a warning imagine you miss a payment on a tesla and it drives itself back to the dealership imagine that old people in their testless just arriving places 2003 i'm gonna be a famous artist 2010 i just want a nice car 2016 maybe next year i can afford health insurance 2020 i hope i die soon 1907 i'm gonna be a famous artist 1939 i'm gonna invade poland breathing normally is easy mode i turned on the asthma difficulty for the extra challenge oh so it's an optional difficulty how do i turn it off start a new game biodegradable cigarette filters with flower seeds help nature in two ways by planting trees and killing yourself this picture speaks a thousand words she got filled with that optimus slime nice work agent 47 now make your way to the extraction point would ya'll still eat it my name was khloe i wanted to live your personal choice killed me don't buy it i would look for one with my name on it like those coca-cola bottles brazil has nearly 60 000 murders here's a map to put that number in perspective brazil had as many homicides as all the blue countries combined you're probably aware that brazil is a dangerous place but but but medieval murica brazil numero woon champion penta this is not an award show campion du mundo my son wouldn't go to sleep on time so i deleted his mind it was you you deleted his minecraft world now i delete yours starts lobotomy if you feed a moose it may become aggressive and attack the next human it meets if it has no food to offer feeding a moose is my favorite hobby now did you see the video where an f1 car crashed and the wheel flew off and hit someone in the face even he wasn't rolling around screaming he was dead but still wow this is beautiful i could create this look for you in about 5 to 10 minutes grandma shampoo good at cleaning smells good makes you happy falls over in the shower i freaking died at falls and shower apart grandma did too these best friends got the same haircut to trick their teacher so she wouldn't be able to tell them apart guess who about to guess correctly u.s police sir can i sit down i'm pregnant hell no next time frick someone who has a car dead body reported dead body aborted i didn't know nutella was red ah my first dosh's moment as a child it was my grandpa's first osha's moment as a kid too for slightly different reasons she did it dreams to come true [Music] both equally freakable you wake up one morning and have peen fingers how would that change your life i'd never eat at kfc again finger licking good just doesn't sound that appealing with [ __ ] fingers what did we learn [Music] that your cat can make your death seem like a suicide spiders don't have muscles in their legs they move them using a hydraulic system powered by their blood pressure when they die their legs curl up because the blood pressure is gone so every spider is basically just eight walking boners female mummies in ancient egypt were always more decomposed than their male counterparts they discovered that this was because male bodies were embalmed a lot sooner than female bodies female bodies were kept at the family home until they started to decompose in order to avoid necrophilia at the embalmers those goddamn mummy freakers milf damn you that's how you summon child support mcdonald starts using fresh beef today so what the frick were we eating before well every once in a while a kid gets lost in the ball pit why the frick is there a birthday candle for zero no body turns zero years old lol [Music] it's for ocean cakes screaming frig while having shreks is like screaming salt while taking a test oh yeah solve me daddy a girl in ancient greece exist zeus is for me zeus is like the epstein of greek mythology people who've had shreks with celebrities how was it great until they kicked me out of the wax museum government we can open the schools kids are responsible enough to avoid spreading over to each other kids when they cough to me use splash it was super effective unvaccinated kid fainted make season nine in fortnight at the themed skin salute to moat and adore schweitz on the map i know hitler was a horrible person but does he really deserve to be soiled by having a fortnight skin of him still not over the fact that when i got my prosthetic legs they were like do you want to be taller and i was like yeah and then they made me two inches taller you wish you were me time to cut off my d oh no stepladder what are you doing it is incess with extra steps me i can't understand this chapter teacher what's hard me my d teacher mine too my dad explaining a math problem for the 374th time me trying to see the paper through a blur of tears that one hid me right in my childhood almost as hard as your dad i don't mind mosquitoes sucking my blood i have plenty to go around what annoys me is a need to inject the itch juice into my skin like i'm already feeding you why are you being such a beach imagine if i slap my mom every time she made me dinner change mom to wife and take out the imagine if and you have me the us army wants to create biodegradable bullets that plant flowers where they fall american streets unrealistic he's not black romeo try to wake juliet up check if she breathes wait freaking five minutes drink the poison romeo is dumb the body was still warm peter is probably the craziest charity out there probably name any other charity that kills 85 to 95 percent of its rescues make a wish foundation i like you okay who can spot the problem dinner ain't freaking ready yet my lips forgot what a kiss feels like my arms forgot what a hug felt like my heart forgot how love feels like mighty forgot what a can of baked beans feels like america be like you must be 21 to freak up your own body you must be 18 to freak up someone else's you can frick up your own body with gun change my mind blurst crossover they look like a group of friends that'll go hang out in the woods and get killed by a serial killer one by one american news every 10 minutes dead body reported the brown body adds to the realism there are no accidents master uruguay our friendship is like this candle if you forget me i'll burn your freaking house down but if you blow me there will be no problem the espion girl pretending to be straight at the girl's sleepover the straight boy pretending to be gay at the girls sleepover me helicoptering my dear both wait other countries didn't have to sing their national anthem every day at school for 12 years no not at all we actually looked at usa funny for that we think it's mad corny i live in the states now but i'm from germany that's cause last time y'all got patriotic it didn't work out nice dear mom and dad tokyo is a frightening place i can't believe they gave me a naked girl instead of a fridge well at least they gave you something to put your meat in she just straight up told this man he was ugly you're like this a rock unassuming on the outside but a treasure within this is how organ traffickers see people what's something you can say to both your rotisserie chicken and to your significant other i prefer you without skin what you're such a good boy very dangerous and dumb you always see this where they are happy and everything but it's only a matter of time then they will lose control and hurt you yes they might be tamed but they are still russians run bare before it's too late the view from my window today is freaking crazy why is the sky red your window hella dirty the neighbors did a gender reveal my dad has given me a total of 55k plus to have a better life in california ended up selling nudes on reddit while working on a nursing degree roast me enough to stop using this app to have a better life in california no i think daddy sent you to california so you wouldn't breed with your brother he learned from his own mistakes jesus black woman calls you sugar old white man calls you son southern woman calls you honey british woman calls you love kebab man calls you boss your [ __ ] sock calls you daddy trust no one except tails you can always trust tails tails is the best friend in the world foxes be on hedgehogs to make them unroll and then eat them think again what the frick i never wanted to know that mom and dad son you're adopted sister [Music] not sure scholar johnson being my sister would stop me in the first place many forgot never forget 9 11 2001 what happened on 9 11 the gender reveal party for the statue of liberty it was a girl sharks kill 12 people per year people kill 11 414 sharks per hour we are winning a gift from the gods he saw that he is actually the second biggest in class games that are better with friends pokemon go basketball minecraft russian roulette five out of six people say it's safe a ups worker working during 9 11 chaos dude is like that she's ain't got nothing to do with me caesar dress for next package ushers the perfect advertisement doesn't exist [Music] divorce lawyer he got her arm in the divorce if god defines shrek says between a man and woman then when two dudes bone it's not shreks and therefore not a sin calls friend bro i have great news you won't believe it boy aged 5 takes ocain to school says it makes him feel like spider-man with great powder comes great responsibility if he takes enough it will make him feel like uncle ben cube goes in circle wrong hole jimmy give him time he's learning 15 years later wrong whole jimmy his mother's hair changed a lot over the years newborn kangaroos measure only about two centimeters in length forbidden gummy bear these flower shells are shotgun shells loaded with flower seeds instead of bird shot or buckshot these shells can be shot into the ground to plant flowers the idea is that instead of taking life from the world you'll be giving life back police we received a noise complaint what's going on me shotgun in hand gardening deadly soviet drill restoration next video restoring the soviet union how would the world be if our owner was structurally transmitted we'd have to find out who fricked a bat i don't care where this bus is going but i want on the meat factory met a really hot girl who was half japanese half filipino think i ruined it by constantly calling her a jalapeno my girlfriend is a half japanese her father is japanese her mother is japanese and her legs got amputated by a train a couple in the 1800s trying not to laugh during their picture [Music] haha so wholesome watch him hit her when she doesn't make dinner your son tells you that he's not a virgin anymore nobody in your house has gone outside in the last five months the cat starts walking funny when you're in online class and one of the girls has a 1080p facecam emergency meeting maybe she's a twitch wait it's the same thing anyway it's her mother's laptop emergency a meeting she's your sister emergency east meeting when you're on a date and you start talking about your hobbies you are losing the woman 13. is the number her age can we pretend airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars no not since 9 11 my custom abortion hoops came in and i'm screaming i can't have children of my own and this makes me sick maybe you can get custom hoops that say infertile or something i don't know first day of primary school last day of high school didn't realize harry transferred to an american school savage android what are you doing step android that port is not compatible greatly reduces stress when you grab one of these cries in virginity dead bodies are always available quartz crystal cave found in an abandoned silver mine in spain pov you are inside the [ __ ] sock can peppermint liquid it's like a fireman came in your mouth it's even worse when you realize the liquid is white and thick better me after nutting 1000 times in one day and unlocking a new color of nut i donate blood this way how overweight my aunt's dog is how is it not dead it ate the grim reaper tony looks on in terror as thanos unzips his pants revealing two more infinity stones venus afterwards you should have gone for the head what's wrong i didn't bring my floaty [Music] you shall now float for eternity slowly wearing down as you melt in the acid that is water perish child for your greed has killed you octopuses can fit through any gap larger than their beak what a beautiful octopus to questions first how wide is an octopus beak second what is the maximum diameter of the human a-hole lego star wars the skywalker saga gameplay trailer i'm looking forward to the level with anakin and the younglings why is my son sleeping on the floor like this lmfao which one is your son he is doing his best uncle ben impression this local pizza place threw out their leftover dough in a garbage bin and it started growing previously on the walking dead what a terrible gift john cena surprises seven-year-old boy with cancer on his birthday imagine an invisible man walks into your room and gives you cancer you mean god horoscope you will eat today zodiac people africans be like glock 19 underwater test schools in bikini bottom 50 shades of exodia summon me daddy delete this comment going to a new bar everyone is being surprisingly nice towards you too nice it's a gay bar had you can get free drinks there kind of a pain in the ass to do it though just say no homo explaining genetics through gummy bears mom always said i had my grandfather's right leg my mom always said i had my grandfather's middle leg tagging and blood tests for bison just to give you an idea of how big they are this male weighs around three thousand pounds polishes how big is the bison then any real man will spot the problem with this picture they are black how can someone both insult and compliment someone at the same time you have the biggest bean out of all of your friends gee thanks dad the us army wants to create biodegradable bullets that plant flowers where they fall i'll help you turn this academy into a flower garden saving the environment one school at a time when the restaurant is small but owner is creative this is awesome yeah until the guy above you farts that makes it better i'ma just sniff our perfumes boomer humor i hate my wife millennial humor i hate my life gen z humor spaghetti knife spaghetti knife to end my spaghetti life pasta lavista baby they took his fries he took their lives take your age and add five to it that is your age in five years not for anti-vaxx kids so killing one person gives you 20 years in prison but 12 million gives you 10 quantity discount i'm the darkness oh you want cuddles okay i give cuddles but i'm still the darkness nose angley stop that's not food no coughing neighbor's wife is found or owner positive husband is fine going to get myself tested i'm hell scared pray for me neighbor's wife is positive why are you getting tested christ said love thy neighbors you'll skip on day can't relate one paper cut and he dead samsung announced the first ever flexible smartphone finally i can wrap my phone around my [ __ ] set it to vibrate and call myself that is not the intended use sir came for the artwork came to the artwork when you're in public and you have to cough but it's the middle of 2020. i would rather whip my d out at this point zombies beats player to death skeleton shoots player to death enderman i'll freaking slap the match is out of view meanwhile the creeper attends jihad class the beat dropped so hard my grandma thought the germans were back trump and hitler actually both drank water literally frightening that people will vote for this man so dangerous i also drink water time to genocide this is why i insert my water anally like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos [Music] thanks

Channel: undefined

Views: 588,571

Rating: 4.9440932 out of 5

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes

Id: Qo0F-oObrg0

Length: 20min 28sec (1228 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 10 2020