r/Choosingbeggars "YOUR HOUSE BELONGS TO ME!"

welcome to our slash choosing Biggers we're a crazy lady tries to argue that she owns your house also if you're new to my channel please consider subscribing I am getting closer and closer to the 1 million mark and you can help me get there our first post is from anime Slayer leads searching for a photographer for my wedding here are my requirements must be willing to do the job for free must have at least 8 years of experience must be at the wedding all the time no breaks bring your own food and drink I feel like this job posting should be titled wanted actual real-life human slave our next reddit post is from college in search a therapy dog must be trained certified and ideally a chocolate lab must be 100% free for an old woman Jesus says help the elderly additionally the dog must be perfectly behaved able to call me down must pick up items for me as per my bad back and must also be spayed neutered and chipped please p.m. or comment if you have a lead no mutts accepted hey Gertrude I have a dog that meets your requirements come pick him up any time 951 Broadway Street at Lowell Massachusetts ok great things headed there now happy you bastard you sent me to an effing Animal Shelter blocks instantly effing creep I think this lady is better off without a therapy dog I kind of get the sense that this is the type of woman who wouldn't walk her dog for 12 hours and then scream at the poor pooch for making a mess on the floor our next reddit post is from hexam sexy that's it I'm wedding shaming shaming a girl I went to high school with as we all know the only time people from high school we never talked to anymore ever message us on Facebook as if a they're part of an m/l and they want you to join them or be they want something absolutely ridiculous a girl from high school messages people in an old group we all hung out with super-sweet hi how are you oMG I miss you are you in town let's hang out messages I am immediately like hmm turned out she wanted money for her wedding that we weren't even really invited to daddy dearest was willing to pay 10k for the wedding but no more the dream wedding she once will be twenty five thousand dollars she then decides to ask for her dear old friends she fondly remembers so well to pay for the wedding on her radar in particular is a friend who is now working as a nurse who clearly makes enough money to help pay when we refuse she magically drops off the face of the planet go figure honestly I'm surprised she didn't give the classic give me fifteen thousand dollars it can be your wedding gift to me our next reddit post is from Kagame I got this message from my landlord don't cook meals in the kitchen please do not cook a big meal in the kitchen because the smoke alarm went off many times the kitchen is just to eat and warm food it does not have the capacity to cook for everyone just try to use it in a smart way basically this is a dining area not for cooking a really big meal like you used to at your old home things followed up by also it would be ideal if you would not sleep in the apartment either actually could you just move out entirely and still send me the rent thanks our next reddit post is from raider gator alright so I have a large pretty expensive house for sale and it's empty right now a few weeks ago my real-estate agent calls me asking if I sold the house I told her clearly she would know as she is the agent she then tells me that someone is moving in I get there after calling 9-1-1 and there are two moving trucks and a locksmith is changing the locks and my gate is busted down I get pretty loud and start telling everyone to get off my property this lady shows up with documents with my forged signature saying she owns the house I call her several pages of profane names and tell her to get off about that time the cops show up she starts claiming it's a civil matter and they can't arrest her luckily the cops aren't dumb an arrest her anyways I think okay she tried and failed she will move on to her next scam apparently not as I got this letter delivered to me Monday as a part of a large package of documents google the entity at the top of their document and you will get some insight into their mindset all right so this is the full legal document that this crazy lady sent Opie I've read through the whole thing and it's really dense and hard to get through because it's written in like lawyers speak but I'm gonna share the most bizarre parts with you dear blank I blank a moorish national in full life than a bunch of numbers stand on Article six the constitution for the United States I demand you release my land and home back to me latitude blank longitude blank with the demands one arrange to have my property moved back into my domicile to reset all door locks and the gate three have the yard cut flower bed and scrubs cut and cleaned detailed to my liking for had the pool cleaned and five if any damages to the home or land has occurred it will be the responsibility of Opie at all to repair what's so out of curiosity I did a little bit of investigation about this woman's document first off I looked up article 6 of the Constitution and I was expecting it to be something involving like land rights or property nope article 6 of the Constitution basically says that the Constitution is the most important legal document and that no other laws should violate the Constitution so literally what this woman is saying is the constitution of America is really really important therefore I own your house also I looked up this group of morris nationals and basically they're a group of people who have basically just decided hey I don't like government so therefore government laws don't apply to me so in essence they can just make up their own laws and in this case the law is give me your house you loser ah how can people think this is actually gonna work also I feel obligated to point out that this document is signed with a bloody fingerprint our next reddit posted from Waze bullet and in this post Opie is talking to someone that he met two weeks ago can I borrow your car next week and do you think you could have it all gassed up sorry dude I need it to get to work but dude I already planned a whole week with my girlfriend and you didn't think to ask to borrow my car beforehand just rent one if you have to dude I'm gonna end up using almost all my money on hotels and stuff over the week I just need it for a week and I need it so I can make money over the week Effie you greedy grunt I mean I was gonna recommend a friend I have who has two cars and only uses one I'm sorry I just snapped I don't know what came over me what's the friends number I'm not giving it to you now I think grunts rooster sucking greedy jerk I hope the police find you did in a ditch I'm blocking you now low thanks for the free reddit karma clearly this guy's trying the wrong approach he should have gone with give me my car because of the Constitution our next reddit post is from Willow 17 I do not understand why when you want someone to take pictures of you they insist on payment I just want a decent picture of me and my child and I don't want to have to pay someone for it now anyone with an effing camera thinks they have a career and it's infuriating I will not pay 75 dollars to take 5 pictures of me and my child I won't that's ridiculous our next post is from aftershock 4 1 6 roughly a week ago I was involved in one of the most ridiculous cases of a choosing beggar I've ever witnessed or read on this UBB the original scene went down in afrikaans so excuse me if the phrasing is a bit off me and my brother are both working adults and live in a city about a three-hour drive from the town my parents live in our parents were on their way back from a short holiday last weekend and as it was Mother's Day and it had been a while since we last saw them my brother and I asked him to make a slight detour on the way back so we could treat my mom to lunch we don't usually make a big fuss out of Mother's Day but as my brother and I had missed my mom's birthday two weeks prior due to unrelated work obligations we conspired with my dad to get her a modest gift from each of us as a sort of belated birthday thing so as we arrived at the restaurant there were warm greetings and hugs all around and we handed my mom the relatively small gifts to neatly wrapped and the other in a gift bag just to be clear there wasn't any opening of gifts tearing the paper or anything like that we were all peripherally aware of a child screaming in the background but as it was a fairly family friendly restaurant we didn't pay it any mind only the screaming gets ever closer and soon we find a woman with a screaming and sobbing child who looked to be around six or seven standing at our table excuse mee-shee demands you can't just go around doing this sort of thing in public puzzled glances all around wondering what the heck she was referring to I share a look at my brother seeing him mouth what I realized in hindsight was the name Karen because man if she didn't fit the stereotype perfectly haircut and all I'm sorry what my brother asked in genuine bafflement opening gifts in public she spits in a way that suggests we might as well have been fornicating at the table now he's crying since he didn't give anything she continues with a vague gesture at the sniffling the slobbering red eyed child who looks like he ran afoul of three different strains of bronchitis I was stunned speechless by the sheer temerity of the woman but across the table my dad is visibly winding himself up to give this woman the tongue-lashing of the century being the peacemaker that she is my mom intercedes clearly wishing to prevent the scene my dad or I were likely to cause as it so happens she had a small packet of chocolate which they had gotten from the guest house they were standing at in her handbag so contrary to what likely anyone else would have done my mom reaches into the bag and hands the small boy the packet across the table the tears dry up momentarily and he stares at it before angrily throwing it to the ground and resuming the sobs he screams incoherently and gestures at the wrap gifts which are sitting on the table on the empty seat to my mom's left I think you should rather give him one of those the woman nonchalantly says and starts reaching across the table to grab one which funnily enough contained a somewhat expensive hand cream my mom likes and would have been far less useful to a child than the chocolates were though I wouldn't have put it past him to try eating it at this point I grabbed her arm around the wrist for venner from grabbing the gift definitely not hard enough to bruise but I thought it would get the point across it didn't she rears back and attempts to slap me for daring to lay my hands on a woman I'm not exactly able to effectively defend myself from a sitting position so I get up I'm a pretty big guy at around 6 foot 4 and 240 pounds and she was a relatively small woman so I towered over her quite a bit contrary to what once so often reads on reddit this didn't seem to deter her in the slightest and she proceeds to attempt to inflict some sort of harm on me with mad flailing though I was easily able to keep her at arm's length at this point the staff get involved and two waiters pulled a woman who's screaming and hissing by this point away from the table the manager gets involved and there's a lot of screaming and yelling from both the woman and her child as one might expect she immediately starts making ridiculous accusations which get absolutely no traction as there had been about two dozen other people who had watched the whole thing go down she's eventually firmly asked to leave the premises before the police get involved and we get offered free dessert as compensation definitely the first time in my life I see someone act that crazy firsthand happy to supply a story after lurking here for ages our next reddit post is from Zeke 14 and on this story the person who made the post received $5,500 in donations from online strangers dear town only Kimmy blink and a couple other kind people send me a donation to help save my daughter my dog mostly complete strangers helped us what did I do to deserve such disrespect are you telling me no one else in the blank click could spare an effing dollar or two for our little GoFundMe campaign very selfish non compassionate people and little town little minds sucky character you all broke my wives and my heart that's why i unfriended most of you but you know karma is a be a 300-pound pissed off Cherokee slash Italian be one who never forgets those who don't reach out to help even modestly in my time of need anyone who wants to argue the point with me contact Louis for my address but you had better be right with your family and Jesus and have your plot in st. Nicholas cemetery reserved because I don't play effin games and then Opie posts a picture of himself trying to look intimidating and failing that was our / choosing beggars and if I can invoke choosing beggars for a moment I demand that you hit that subscribe button I work hard on these videos and I deserve a gold play button so subscribe to my channel or I'm calling the police

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,591,039

Rating: 4.9200659 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: 5wdwiQGbnxU

Length: 16min 30sec (990 seconds)

Published: Sat May 25 2019