Rape Culture | Reagan Williams | TEDxArkansasStateUniversity

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[Music] <font color="#CCCCCC">On January</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> 8th of 2012</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a 14 year old</font> girl<font color="#E5E5E5"> asked a friend to come over for a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">slumber party</font> the two had<font color="#E5E5E5"> been friends since early</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">childhood even</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> though they were</font> separated by a grade in<font color="#CCCCCC"> school and they</font> started out the<font color="#E5E5E5"> evening drinking and</font> watching<font color="#CCCCCC"> a scary movie and she had been</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">texting an older boy named Matt who was</font> the senior quarterback<font color="#E5E5E5"> on the football</font> team<font color="#E5E5E5"> like</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> any</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> other freshman she felt a</font> lot<font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> pressure to fit in with these</font> older boys<font color="#CCCCCC"> and so when he asked her</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> if</font> the girls would come over<font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> hang out</font> she was ecstatic<font color="#E5E5E5"> he came and picked them</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">up</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> asking</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> them to get out of the car</font> before<font color="#E5E5E5"> they reached the front door and</font> climbed through<font color="#CCCCCC"> a basement window</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> now</font> when the girls got inside they discovered<font color="#E5E5E5"> four other senior boys all of</font> who encouraged them<font color="#CCCCCC"> to drink vodka</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> out</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of a cup specifically</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> labeled for them</font> she was an experienced with alcohol but she trusted<font color="#E5E5E5"> these older</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> boys that she</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">had known from school and so as they</font> continued<font color="#CCCCCC"> to hand her drinks</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the world</font> eventually<font color="#E5E5E5"> went black less than an hour</font> later<font color="#CCCCCC"> the boys had taken</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the girls home</font> her friend made it<font color="#E5E5E5"> inside but she was</font> unresponsive and so five senior boys left a <font color="#CCCCCC">fourteen-year-old</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> girl lying on the</font> ground in below<font color="#E5E5E5"> freezing temperatures</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">where her hair froze to the ground in</font> the morning she crawled up to<font color="#CCCCCC"> the front</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">door where her mother found her bruised</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and sick and she drew a bath to warm her</font> up but<font color="#E5E5E5"> that was</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> when she noticed that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">her daughter was red and inflamed</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">underneath her clothes and so she rushed</font> her to the<font color="#E5E5E5"> hospital where her 14 year</font> old child would undergo a<font color="#E5E5E5"> rape kit</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font> when the results came back<font color="#E5E5E5"> their worst</font> fears had<font color="#CCCCCC"> been confirmed years later</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">that young girl would find out that her</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">13 year old friend had been raped in</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> room right next door<font color="#E5E5E5"> but the horror</font> wasn't over for<font color="#CCCCCC"> this</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> young woman</font> she faced an entire community<font color="#CCCCCC"> of people</font> who<font color="#E5E5E5"> turned her worst nightmare</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> into a</font> hashtag<font color="#E5E5E5"> claiming that she was asking for</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">it the county dropped the charges saying</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> there was</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> no evidence of a sex</font> crime here<font color="#E5E5E5"> even though there was a video</font> of her<font color="#E5E5E5"> rape circulating the halls of her</font> school and that was until the<font color="#E5E5E5"> hacking</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">group Anonymous got the state involved</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but even</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> after a long and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> treacherous</font> trial her rapist was only<font color="#E5E5E5"> sentenced to</font> four<font color="#CCCCCC"> months in prison to be served</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> only</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">on weekends and that was then reduced to</font> two years<font color="#CCCCCC"> probation in which he had to</font> pay an<font color="#CCCCCC"> 1800 dollar fine and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> say that he</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">was sorry for what he had done he is not</font> a registered<font color="#CCCCCC"> sex offender and he</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> never</font> spent a day<font color="#E5E5E5"> behind bars in the United</font> States only six<font color="#CCCCCC"> percent of all reported</font> rapes<font color="#E5E5E5"> land</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and prison sentence when</font> combined<font color="#CCCCCC"> with the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> relatively low amount</font> of reporting this<font color="#E5E5E5"> means that 99% of</font> rapists get away with their<font color="#E5E5E5"> crimes now</font> there are two<font color="#E5E5E5"> reasons that might</font> contribute<font color="#CCCCCC"> to this first rape is an</font> incredibly<font color="#E5E5E5"> personal crime and thus is</font> very difficult<font color="#E5E5E5"> to prove</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> eight out of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">every ten rapes occur between</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people who</font> knew each<font color="#E5E5E5"> other before that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> event</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">scholars call this acquaintance rape and</font> so contrary<font color="#CCCCCC"> to what</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> most people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> believe</font> most<font color="#E5E5E5"> rapes don't happen in a dark alley</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">or in a bad part of town</font> no most rapes happen between friends <font color="#CCCCCC">between family members co-workers</font> boyfriends or girlfriends<font color="#E5E5E5"> most rapes</font> happen behind closed doors which makes them incredibly<font color="#E5E5E5"> difficult to prove in a</font> court<font color="#CCCCCC"> of law</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the second factor that might contribute</font> to<font color="#E5E5E5"> these low conviction rates is the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">social narrative surrounding rape in the</font> United States<font color="#E5E5E5"> scholars call this the</font> theory of secondary victimization which contends<font color="#CCCCCC"> that for many</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> victims being</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">exposed to victim blaming attitudes will</font> be akin<font color="#CCCCCC"> to a second rape victims are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> in</font> a space of extreme vulnerability immediately following an attack<font color="#E5E5E5"> not</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> only</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">has their body been violated</font> but their autonomy their humanity their <font color="#E5E5E5">sense of identity have to rape is one of</font> the<font color="#E5E5E5"> only crimes</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in which a victim's body</font> is used as a<font color="#CCCCCC"> weapon against them</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> this alone is enough<font color="#CCCCCC"> to inflict</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> severe</font> psychological harm that's why for many <font color="#E5E5E5">victims secondary victimization will</font> then lead to<font color="#E5E5E5"> self blame sexual</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">revitalisation promiscuity or</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> low</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">self-esteem the word rape</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> may seem</font> unapproachable<font color="#CCCCCC"> after an attack</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and they</font> might cover up or hide the crimes against them or even defend their <font color="#E5E5E5">rapists when challenged by family</font> members<font color="#CCCCCC"> or friends</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> research by Mary</font> costs<font color="#E5E5E5"> shows that victims of acquaintance</font> rape<font color="#E5E5E5"> are far less</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> likely than victims of</font> stranger rape to define the event<font color="#E5E5E5"> as</font> such<font color="#CCCCCC"> and so the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> process of grasping an</font> attack so brutal and<font color="#E5E5E5"> so personal is</font> difficult enough<font color="#E5E5E5"> that when victim</font> blaming attitudes are added to<font color="#E5E5E5"> this mix</font> it only<font color="#E5E5E5"> gets that much harder one in</font> four college women<font color="#E5E5E5"> in the United States</font> will be<font color="#CCCCCC"> raped during</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> their time on</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">campus</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> one in four studies show that</font> college students<font color="#E5E5E5"> endorse common rape</font> myths<font color="#E5E5E5"> at unprecedented rates and so when</font> challenged with doubt or uncertainty about<font color="#CCCCCC"> a sexual assault these make it</font> much<font color="#CCCCCC"> easier</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> to blame the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> victim and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">excused the actions of the perpetrator</font> they perpetuate myths that infiltrate the minds of<font color="#E5E5E5"> our young people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and then</font> lead<font color="#CCCCCC"> to higher levels of sexual assault</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">in the future for example the belief</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> false rape accusations are a common</font> problem<font color="#CCCCCC"> is particularly</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> harmful to</font> victims<font color="#E5E5E5"> especially</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> when considering</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">the National sexual violence Resource</font> Center reports that only<font color="#E5E5E5"> two to eight</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">percent of all</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> reported</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> rapes are</font> actually<font color="#E5E5E5"> found to be false whereas</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> 68%</font> of all<font color="#E5E5E5"> rapes will never be reported and</font> only<font color="#CCCCCC"> 6%</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of those that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are will end in a</font> prison sentence so the<font color="#E5E5E5"> prevalence of</font> rape outweighs the prevalence of false <font color="#E5E5E5">accusations astronomically and yet</font> millions<font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> still</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> question</font> victims<font color="#CCCCCC"> instead of even considering the</font> possibility<font color="#CCCCCC"> that these accusations</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">are true on November 5th</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of 2012 an 18</font> year old man competed in the collegiate debate tournament at the<font color="#E5E5E5"> beginning of</font> the year<font color="#E5E5E5"> his coach had assigned the team</font> captain<font color="#E5E5E5"> Hannah</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to be his partner</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> she</font> flirted from the very beginning <font color="#E5E5E5">expressing clear sexual interest in him</font> but he politely<font color="#E5E5E5"> told her that he</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> wasn't</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">interested</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> and eventually as her</font> flirting progressed<font color="#E5E5E5"> he asked the coach</font> to reassign the partnerships only to be told<font color="#E5E5E5"> no now at this particular</font> tournament they had prepared<font color="#E5E5E5"> a</font> presentation<font color="#CCCCCC"> on sexual assault because</font> they were aware<font color="#CCCCCC"> that many members of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> debate community will often go to parties<font color="#E5E5E5"> after a day</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of competition and</font> his team was very close<font color="#E5E5E5"> and so the men</font> and women would often spend time in one hotel<font color="#CCCCCC"> room after a long day of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> competing</font> but<font color="#E5E5E5"> he wasn't partaking in any of these</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">social activities this night he was</font> alone in a hotel<font color="#E5E5E5"> room sleeping</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> off a</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">splitting migraine that had left him</font> incapacitated he suffered from<font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">medical condition that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> often left him</font> unable to<font color="#E5E5E5"> move because</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of severe</font> migraines<font color="#E5E5E5"> his roommates had left the</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">door cracked and so after about</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> an hour</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">of sleep he felt someone crawl into the</font> bed next to him he was hazy and<font color="#E5E5E5"> confused</font> as she rubbed up against him<font color="#E5E5E5"> he quietly</font> begged her to<font color="#E5E5E5"> leave but</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> she kept</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> saying</font> over<font color="#CCCCCC"> and</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> over that sex cures headaches</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> then it would be our little</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> secret</font> she raped him<font color="#E5E5E5"> he begged her to stop he</font> remembers<font color="#E5E5E5"> thinking that he should try</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> physically<font color="#E5E5E5"> stop her but he was afraid</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> he'd get in trouble for hurting a</font> woman and eventually she got disinterested and left the room the<font color="#CCCCCC"> next</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">morning he awoke to jokes and rumours</font> spread throughout the<font color="#E5E5E5"> team like wildfire</font> she had bragged to another member<font color="#CCCCCC"> of the</font> team<font color="#CCCCCC"> that she had convinced him to hook</font> up he never told the<font color="#CCCCCC"> truth about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> what</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">happened</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that night she is not a</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">registered sex offender and she never</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">spent a day in prison</font> for male victims<font color="#CCCCCC"> the social paradigm</font> surrounding rape<font color="#E5E5E5"> brings unique</font> challenges the<font color="#E5E5E5"> first and most common</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">myth that they must face is that males</font> can't be the victims of rape<font color="#CCCCCC"> but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> this is</font> not true<font color="#E5E5E5"> millions of boys and men have</font> been the victims of rape<font color="#CCCCCC"> the National</font> sexual violence Resource Center reports that one in 71<font color="#E5E5E5"> American men will be</font> raped during<font color="#E5E5E5"> their lifetime and these</font> numbers<font color="#E5E5E5"> jump to alarming Heights when</font> considering<font color="#E5E5E5"> a college education as one</font> in<font color="#E5E5E5"> 16 men on campus will be sexually</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">victimized sexual orientation</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> can also</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">greatly increase this risk as bisexual</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and gay men</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are at a 50</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> percent higher</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">risk than heterosexual men to be the</font> victims of<font color="#E5E5E5"> sexual violence rather than</font> rape so while the statistics on male rape<font color="#CCCCCC"> are so very clear male victims</font> often experience even more<font color="#E5E5E5"> skepticism</font> and indifference than female victims but victims are not<font color="#E5E5E5"> the only actors in male</font> rape scenarios that<font color="#E5E5E5"> people find</font> unbelievable the notion that rapists are generally sexually frustrated men is <font color="#E5E5E5">particularly harmful because it makes</font> implications<font color="#E5E5E5"> about the nature</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> crime so despite significant evidence <font color="#E5E5E5">that states</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that rape is</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> a crime about</font> power and control many people still <font color="#CCCCCC">choose to believe</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that it's motivated by</font> sexual impulse<font color="#E5E5E5"> it also makes</font> implications<font color="#CCCCCC"> that women can't rape men</font> or that women<font color="#E5E5E5"> never perpetuate sexual</font> violence<font color="#E5E5E5"> but this is not true</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> either</font> we have<font color="#CCCCCC"> undereducated our young men</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">about what to do in situations of sexual</font> assault<font color="#CCCCCC"> and they thus</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> cannot often</font> validate their<font color="#E5E5E5"> experiences after one</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">likewise social expectations of men</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">often change their connection</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to this</font> crime<font color="#E5E5E5"> because men</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> are often expected to</font> conform<font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> hyper masculine stereotypes</font> and dominate<font color="#E5E5E5"> women and men are also</font> expected never to raise a hand to<font color="#CCCCCC"> a</font> woman<font color="#E5E5E5"> leaving them</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in an</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> awkward</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">position of defenselessness when</font> attacked by a female rapist on April 4th of 2015 an 18 year old girl met up<font color="#CCCCCC"> with a boy</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that she had been</font> dating<font color="#CCCCCC"> now the two had a year's long</font> history of<font color="#E5E5E5"> relationships and breakups</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">but she always thought</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that in the end</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">they were supposed to get</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> married and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">settle</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> down together she left her car</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> at</font> his workplace<font color="#E5E5E5"> and rode with him back to</font> his home<font color="#E5E5E5"> now this was like any other</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">night</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> but she felt uneasy about</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> it still</font> she couldn't place why she might feel this way<font color="#E5E5E5"> but something</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> just wasn't right</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">she had been contemplating whether to</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">end this relationship for good</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> she</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">wasn't</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sure</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> if it's what she wanted</font> anymore <font color="#E5E5E5">so after a couple of hours when she</font> still couldn't shake this bad<font color="#E5E5E5"> feeling</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">she told him</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> very plainly</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that she did</font> not<font color="#CCCCCC"> want to see him anymore he began</font> kissing<font color="#E5E5E5"> her ignoring her request he was</font> persistent<font color="#E5E5E5"> she became afraid and he</font> seemed confused<font color="#E5E5E5"> as to why</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> but when she</font> realized<font color="#E5E5E5"> that this encounter was not</font> going<font color="#E5E5E5"> to stop she became paralyzed with</font> fear she was careful<font color="#E5E5E5"> not to</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> move she</font> counted her breaths but<font color="#E5E5E5"> when the</font> physical<font color="#E5E5E5"> pain became unbearable</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> she</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">snapped into action beginning to kick</font> her legs<font color="#E5E5E5"> and flail her arms</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> until he</font> jumped backwards letting her loose and she ran into<font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> bathroom and locked</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> the</font> door<font color="#E5E5E5"> after</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> a long shower</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> she returned</font> back<font color="#CCCCCC"> to that very room and they didn't</font> talk<font color="#CCCCCC"> about what had happened</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> but she</font> didn't<font color="#E5E5E5"> want to cause a scene</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> or make him</font> angry by asking him to take her home<font color="#E5E5E5"> and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">so she laid beside him for the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> rest of</font> the night pretending<font color="#E5E5E5"> to sleep the next</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">morning</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> he acted as if everything was</font> fine between them<font color="#CCCCCC"> and he held her hand</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">in the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> car but that</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> night she told him</font> she needed some<font color="#CCCCCC"> space and time to</font> process<font color="#E5E5E5"> what had happened and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> she asked</font> him not to<font color="#CCCCCC"> contact her anymore a few</font> days<font color="#CCCCCC"> later she awoke to a text message</font> from him<font color="#E5E5E5"> asking if he could get</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">something off his chest his</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> message said</font> do you think<font color="#CCCCCC"> that I read</font> you she would<font color="#E5E5E5"> never forget that this</font> young woman never reported her crime she never told his parents or his<font color="#E5E5E5"> friends</font> they had hundreds of<font color="#E5E5E5"> people</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in common in</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">their lives were</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> inextricably</font> intertwined<font color="#CCCCCC"> and she feared ruining his</font> pristine reputation<font color="#E5E5E5"> she feared</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font> because of it no one would<font color="#E5E5E5"> believe her</font> he is not a registered<font color="#E5E5E5"> sex</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> offender and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">he never suffered any consequences for</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">his crime that girl was me telling a</font> crowd of<font color="#E5E5E5"> strangers</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about my most</font> vulnerable<font color="#E5E5E5"> and terrifying experience is</font> incredibly difficult<font color="#CCCCCC"> i grappled with</font> whether to tell it at all<font color="#CCCCCC"> I thought</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">about what he would say if he</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> heard it</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">and I worried</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> about</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> what would happen</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">now</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that this heavy secret</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> between</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> us</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is</font> out but secrets weigh you down April<font color="#E5E5E5"> 4th</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of 2015 is not the end of my</font> story<font color="#E5E5E5"> my story</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> is one of turning</font> victimhood<font color="#CCCCCC"> into survival</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> few words can</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">describe the feelings</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of shame and</font> betrayal that<font color="#CCCCCC"> I felt that night and few</font> words can<font color="#CCCCCC"> describe the shock of</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">discovering</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> that a man I loved valued</font> his power over<font color="#CCCCCC"> me</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> so much more than my</font> own humanity but<font color="#E5E5E5"> April 4th of 2015 is</font> not the end of my story<font color="#CCCCCC"> I will not feel</font> shame<font color="#E5E5E5"> and I will not allow him</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> to</font> continue<font color="#E5E5E5"> to perpetuate violence in my</font> life<font color="#E5E5E5"> by keeping me silent and still</font> I tell you<font color="#E5E5E5"> this story not</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> because I want</font> your sympathy or your<font color="#E5E5E5"> praise I tell you</font> because it's likely<font color="#E5E5E5"> that one in four</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of</font> the<font color="#E5E5E5"> women and one in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> sixteen</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> of the men</font> that<font color="#E5E5E5"> I encounter on an everyday basis</font> are the victims of rape<font color="#CCCCCC"> I tell you</font> because it's likely<font color="#CCCCCC"> that every one of</font> you sees the manifestations<font color="#CCCCCC"> of this</font> culture every day in your<font color="#CCCCCC"> lives the</font> research shows<font color="#CCCCCC"> that it is possible to</font> construct<font color="#E5E5E5"> a</font> in which rape is so discouraged<font color="#E5E5E5"> that</font> even potential<font color="#E5E5E5"> rapists would never act</font> out in sexual violence<font color="#CCCCCC"> a common</font> modern-day<font color="#CCCCCC"> example of this</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> is the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> Minang</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">cabal Society of</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> Indonesia here women</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">are</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> inherently valued not for their</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">sexual purpose but</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> for their</font> contribution to<font color="#E5E5E5"> society and male sexual</font> prowess and violence are not<font color="#E5E5E5"> deemed</font> manly because<font color="#E5E5E5"> their concept of</font> masculinity<font color="#E5E5E5"> is not tied to sex at all</font> we live in what scholars<font color="#E5E5E5"> would call a</font> rape prone<font color="#E5E5E5"> society in which the</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> culture</font> of<font color="#E5E5E5"> violence against</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> women is so embedded</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">in us that we forget it's even there we</font> have<font color="#E5E5E5"> misinformed our young men about the</font> definition of<font color="#E5E5E5"> consent and we have</font> defined<font color="#E5E5E5"> sexuality in</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> terms of power and</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">obligation but</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> we must unlearn these</font> behaviors together because the reality <font color="#E5E5E5">is that you sit</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> in class every single</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">day with rape victims and</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> you</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> probably</font> sit in class with rapists<font color="#E5E5E5"> - rapists are</font> not born<font color="#CCCCCC"> rapists</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> they are constructed by</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">socio-cultural attitudes that shape</font> their identity<font color="#E5E5E5"> and motivate their</font> violence talking<font color="#E5E5E5"> about sexual assault is</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">incredibly uncomfortable but that's</font> precisely<font color="#E5E5E5"> why we must do just that so</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> if</font> you<font color="#E5E5E5"> are a</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> victim of sexual assault tell</font> your<font color="#E5E5E5"> story</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> proudly and if you're not use</font> your voice to<font color="#E5E5E5"> help those</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> who are because</font> I firmly believe<font color="#CCCCCC"> that</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> our vulnerability</font> is our voice but our stories fuel our <font color="#E5E5E5">strength that our pain does not define</font> <font color="#CCCCCC">us</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> and that our common experiences will</font> bind strangers<font color="#E5E5E5"> together with an</font> unbreakable<font color="#E5E5E5"> force and with our stories</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">not in spite</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of them we will be</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> stronger</font> than<font color="#E5E5E5"> ever before together we can cure</font> our<font color="#E5E5E5"> society</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> of the</font><font color="#E5E5E5"> sickness</font><font color="#CCCCCC"> that plagues</font> <font color="#E5E5E5">us and we will be free thank you</font> [Applause] [Music]
Info
Channel: TEDx Talks
Views: 216,400
Rating: 4.7855678 out of 5
Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United States, Life, Education
Id: z_2DU7VTOmk
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 17min 44sec (1064 seconds)
Published: Mon Apr 03 2017
Reddit Comments

I heard like the first 2minutes and that’s unfortunate. Anonymous is awesome for getting the state involved, need to finish the rest of the video.

Edit: she just said 99% of rapist get away with rape this shit is sad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 1 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/Anonymous6977 πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Jul 22 2019 πŸ—«︎ replies

Thank you for sharing this. I hadn't seen it before

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 1 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/notactuallysoougly πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Jul 22 2019 πŸ—«︎ replies
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