r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing To Give A Karen My Baby?

welcome to r slash am i the butthole where a woman asked to borrow someone's baby am i the butthole for asking my husband to turn down his dream job for my career i'm a 33 year old female and i'm the breadwinner of our household i have multiple highly specialized degrees for a niche industry i make over two hundred thousand dollars with potential to get in the 600k to one million range my company hasn't been hit that badly by kovid so most of us have kept our jobs but we're held to strict standards my husband who's 36 has a broad degree in work experience he quit his job right before covet hit hoping for a better job in the meantime and i was supportive he spent a ton of time applying to various jobs and finally landed an interview at organization x this is his dream job in almost every imaginable way however it's paying about 65 000 a year which would be fine except this job directly puts my job stability at risk my company and this organization are adversarial at best my field is extremely secretive and if clients discovered my spouse was working for a competitor i would be permanently tainted i wouldn't be able to get a job in that industry forever i know this sounds like an exaggeration but i promise you it's absolutely not it'd be like if i worked in protecting the privacy of celebrities and he worked for tmz if he tapped my car got into my work devices he could use that to advance his career and any trust i have in this field will be gone even if i trusted my husband not to do that my clients and company don't worse because my background is so specialized this is the only field i can work in i asked him to drop out from consideration for this job since if he got it we'd lose my income 65k a year cannot support us in this city plus he doesn't have to work for this organization even if the job market is awful right now his background gives him access to a wide range of jobs but i only have this one niche field he was extremely angry and said i was selfish and only cared about money i told him that if he wanted to go back to school for an advanced degree or just be unemployed for a while i would support him but taking this job isn't possible he continued the process behind my back and got the offer he wants to accept it because he says that his career needs to take priority and that i wasn't being a supportive wife i feel so betrayed and i've contacted all relevant higher-ups in my company to inform them i notified them as soon as he got the interview because it's better coming from my email than from a background check i told him that he could decline the offer with me physically watching him decline it or he could accept the offer and move out immediately i would pay for him to stay two weeks at a hotel and we would begin divorce proceedings my company is willing to take care of all my legal fees i feel effing awful i still love him i moved decisively because this was the best way to cut my losses but it still hurts he called me heartless and cold it's true that i was prioritizing my career over his but it felt like the only option at the time op i think i'm going to give you like 0.5 out of 5 buttholes i will agree that the ultimatum you gave him is pretty drastic but i can't blame you your husband is acting incredibly selfishly and i can't believe that he's willing to nuke your entire career over a job offer i mean if it were the case that you could get a different job in the same field then i could understand his anger a little bit more but if you literally couldn't get a job in that industry anymore then yeah your husband is a major douchebag i'm giving your husband three out of five buttholes for being super selfish and prideful man you know thinking about it i think i actually want to downgrade this to 0 out of 5 buttholes op clearly explained her boundaries to her husband and he violated them anyways opie is in a situation where she has a very specific set of restrictions and the husband can work anywhere but he specifically chooses the one job that will nuke her career no that goes way too far so yeah op i think you're totally justified am i the butthole for mocking my brother for getting rejected by his dream college that i got into because he keeps tormenting me over it i'm a 17 year old girl my brother jake and i who's 18 both have the same dream college h university also in case you're confused by the ages we're 1.5 years apart but i skipped a grade so we were in the same grade for nearly our entire life jake was way more passionate about h university than i was he had several h merch clothing and kind of just assumed he was going there for example in conversations he'd say things like once i'm at age or after i go to age my plan is basically his life plan rested on him going to age jake and i got along pretty well we'd sometimes give each other advice or study together however during college application season he got super competitive once he realized i was also applying to h he refused to study together or look over each other's essays and he'd constantly tell me to not even bother applying then decisions came out and we opened them at the same time i was accepted and he was rejected jake had a massive panic attack and instead of celebrating my acceptance with my family i sat in my room all day because jake would get furious when he saw me i once even caught him trying to unlock my laptop to decline my offer since his friend deemed me to warn me that he had been talking about doing that my parents obviously punished him for that which made it so much worse when my h university sweatshirt came in he screamed at me for showing off when i just put it in my closet he told so many people that i only got in because i was a girl and then h makes his siblings up honestly i felt bad for him because i would be crushed too if i were him every time i tried to get him to stop it got worse so i just kept tolerating it i thought it'd get better after the summer once college actually started it has not now it's really set in that he's going to a good state school and not h his anger is largely compounded by the fact that he's going to the same college that he used to condescend other students aiming for my classes start soon so i've been setting up in our study which i share with jake both of our rooms are tiny with no room to study in so we share a study with two deaths to face away from each other jake cleared out my whole desk and broke my lamp in the process he says that i need to study in my room so he can use a study without distractions for his classes we've always both worn headphones there's literally no distraction he just doesn't want to see me taking classes at age i'm so effing done i just want to be proud that i got into this college and actually learn stuff without my brother screaming at me about it here's where i might be the butthole we got into an argument and i told him that of course he got rejected since h didn't take toddlers i've also been wearing my h sweatshirt around the house constantly which he gets angry about he kept bothering me so i superglued h rejection letters in the drawers of his desk so he has to see them when he opens them geez your relationship with your brother sounds super dysfunctional op so first of all your brother is definitely a butthole for all of his jealousy and rage so i'm gonna give him three out of five buttholes and i can definitely sympathize with the frustration you're feeling over his reaction but you're escalating things op so i'm gonna give you two out of five buttholes if you ask me i think you guys could use some family therapy am i the butthole for not letting my cousin experience motherhood i have a 22 year old cousin by marriage who's dying of cancer she's my husband's cousin it was always her dream to marry and be a mom and now that's not going to happen it's hard on everyone she has a much older fiancee who's 30 and they had a symbolic wedding so she could have the experience they started looking for ways to get access to a baby that she could take care of and experience some level of childcare that way but with 2020 and ethics in general there's not a lot of ways to do that safely my husband and i have the first and so far only children of our generation who are 10 months and 23 months old i had hopes that it wouldn't happen but her parents asked me if they could borrow my younger baby for a few weeks the cousin and her fiance could basically be play-acting having a baby her parents would also join in on pretending there would be photo shoots and everything this makes me really uncomfortable it's really creepy i cannot understate how creepy i think this is i know that her not getting to live her dreams is sad but i don't think that this is the answer i am worried that it would be traumatic for my baby she's almost a year old and will notice that her entire family just vanished overnight for what will seem like forever she's also still nursing and they don't really seem to care about this factor i'm really worried about problems down the road this is setting a dangerous precedent of my child living under other guardianship her parents will have time to get attached and they could try to use that for familial pressure if not legally her fiance is also a wild card in that regard i said no and my husband's entire family is hounding us about this because her time is running out and it's time sensitive they say we're being selfish they say that we could use this as a free vacation and bond with our older child because i popped them out so close together they want a compromise now by letting me come by a few times a day to bring milk we still don't want to do this am i the butthole and then opie posted an update yesterday afternoon we got an email from the cousin's parents offering actual dollar amounts for us to agree we got enough from that to file a police report and at least get the threat in writing we also had a call with my husband's parents and his siblings to basically clear the air apparently what they were telling people they asked for and what they were actually asking for were very different everyone on that call now has blocked them on social media except for my mother-in-law because of the cousin nah op i'm giving you zero out of five buttholes this conversation should be super simple hello miss do you mind if i borrow your baby no that doesn't make me comfortable okay that's fine period as in end of conversation from your cousin's perspective i don't think it's actually unreasonable for her to ask yeah her request is a bit extreme but her situation is a bit extreme as well and there's really no harm in asking but the butthole behavior comes in when they continue to press the issue after you rejected them once you rejected them they should have just accepted that and moved on so based on that i'm gonna give them let's say like two out of five buttholes am i the butthole for yelling at my parents that their polyamory screwed up my childhood i believe it started when i was around six years old my parents often had friends over in the house i didn't know they were polyamorous of course one day i was outside playing got hurt and when i ran inside i caught my parents making out with some random guy they told me that they have other adults that they love and it's a completely normal thing me being a child just accepted that they gave up being secretive and their partners would constantly be around even joining on outings i remember that on my 10th birthday they invited three of their partners one of whom i'd never seen before and for the rest of the day my parents just withdrew from the party and hung out with them i never saw them doing anything explicit again but they would kiss their partners hug them make flirty comments something that would be normal between parents but with many more people sometimes i came home from school and my parents were gone and there was some random adult in our house some of them seemed surprised that my parents even had a child i always hated it but since my parents told me that this was normal i assumed that many adults probably did similar things and then it's just an adult thing that all kids hate later they had less partners and eventually seemed to stop not that i know for sure because i moved out at age 17. i didn't think about it anymore a year ago i started therapy for other reasons as usual the topic of my upbringing came up and it brought back many feelings that i wasn't aware of i realized that although my parents were always good to me i had never really felt close to any of them and still have a lot of resentment that they made me feel like i had to compete for my parents attention with random strangers a while ago i visited them and they told me that they were going to take part in a documentary about polyamorous families and that the producers would like to include interviews with the children so they would love it if i would agree and tell everyone that polyamory doesn't mess kids up all of my resentment bubbled up and i said that i cannot agree because i wouldn't be able to say anything positive my parents looked shocked i had never brought this up before and asked why and i unloaded everything that i always felt pushed aside and we barely had any family time without strangers intruding it turned into an argument and i became loud and yelled that the truth is it did screw me up and they shouldn't have had a child if their number one priority was screwing the whole world my mother cried and my father said i should probably leave so i left and was shaken up for the rest of the week but also felt regret because i've never made my mom cry before later my father sent me a message that was like we're sorry you feel that way can we have a calm discussion about this soon even though i tried to it's like i can't reply this argument brought something very emotional up in me am i the butthole for hurting my parents over this especially since i've never brought it up before alright op so i'm actually gonna give you zero out of five buttholes here and for clarity here i don't think the problem with your parents is that they're polyamorous i think the problem with your parents is that they basically abandoned you in favor of their other interests i mean one of my hobby is board games i really love playing board games with my friends but if i threw my 10 year old kid at a birthday party and then basically ignored my kid on their own birthday so i could spend the entire day playing board games with my friends that would make me a huge butthole and if i were just constantly neglecting my own kid in favor of playing board games and i would leave my kid alone with my board game friends then yeah that makes me a total butthole so you can replace polyamory with pretty much any hobby imaginable board games video games playing poker gardening i mean whatever the point is yeah you're right your parents put their own interests way ahead of your interests and i'm a little bit pissed off on your behalf that your father said that we're sorry that you feel that way but he's not willing to accept any responsibility in his role in how he made you feel that way he's sorry that you feel that way not sorry that he made you feel this way kind of a cheap cop-out in my opinion so overall i'm gonna give your parents four out of five buttholes that was our slash am i the butthole and if you like this content then check out my patreon where i publish extra videos also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

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Views: 423,551

Rating: 4.8953271 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: oMPFsQn2NjQ

Length: 16min 9sec (969 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 22 2020