Raising awareness of your thought patterns

you're listening to another ambitious entrepreneur network.com podcast the voice for entrepreneurs and small business now on to the show [Music] [Applause] welcome to industry thought leader podcast stand out be heard influence want to influence real change with your message while become known as an authority in your field industry thought leader podcast will show you how now over to your host annemarie cross [Music] and welcome to another episode of industry thought leader podcast brought to you by industry thought leader academy stand out be heard and influence i'm your host annemarie cross brandon podcast strategist also known as the podcasting queen now my guest today says it isn't about feeling on top of the world it's about finding relief it's about feeling better and joining me on today's show is lou banks now traditionally you might call lou a coach or a facilitator but she doesn't do traditional lou is a culture consultant she's the founder of rising vibe and calling out the men and she's passionate about helping organizations create an spf which is social pain-free culture because when people feel better they do better now on today's show lou is going to share how our thoughts impact how we feel and therefore how we show up she's also going to talk about how social pain and physical pain activate the same brain circuitry what that means as well as how to raise awareness of our thought patterns to enable a shift in our perspective and i'm sure so much more welcome to the show lou thank you very much for having me now give us a bit of a snapshot on how you got into this industry was it something that you'd always had an interest in or wasn't an experience or a situation that had you kind of thinking this is interesting i'm going to go down this path what was that journey for you so i um i'm an operator at heart i guess is what i would say so um i wasn't immediately in the learning and development organizational development world at all i was um you know operations with the people um doing projects that i would usually get allocated based on a level of resistance of the people in the project because it didn't it didn't bother me what i mean by that is i just got very curious about it um it didn't feel uncomfortable for me i used to find it really interesting when people were resisting change or not comfortable with something you know i'm quite uh comfortable with showing my opinions so i enjoy a bit of debate and discussion so i picked up projects that uh were in that area i guess and then i made a transition into the change management world and then into learning and development and organizational development after that so everything we do at rising vibe is really simple very practical it's very heavily psychologically and neuroscientifically based but if you can't use it then we don't use it if that makes sense if you can't make it into something practical that people can take away and apply yes then we don't bother using it yeah fantastic and i mean the situation that you know many people find themselves in now i mean change is happening all the time and change is certainly thrust upon us globally um with lots of change in the workplace when you're working with a just take us back to the first time that you started realizing that you actually and not necessarily enjoyed it but it wasn't an issue for you when did you get to that stage where you realized this is something that i do and do really well in comparison to others the reason i ask that is for many of us we just do what we do naturally comes naturally to us we don't actually ever realize it unless someone may mention it to us or unless we have it recognized in ourselves because some people may find that they're doing something really well that could just be a pivot or could just be something that they can leverage as they move forward what was that moment for you um there was one particular project and there were quite a lot of outspoken people on the project so really comfortable saying how much they disagreed with what was happening um and i just listened really and i got a lot of stuff projected onto me because i was representing that so i became the person that represented the change that people weren't happy with um and i just asked questions um i wasn't put off with i guess what could have been perceived as quite aggressive behavior it wasn't really but you know very defensive um very attacking language uh quite personal actually i wasn't put off by that i just asked more questions and listened and i you can just feel the change because people just want to be heard and i think it was this particular project you know before i set up the business way before that when i thought to myself actually i mean it's obvious now for me but people just want to be heard you don't actually have to agree you just need to hear them uh step into their world and say look that's not how i see it you know that's not where i'm coming from but based on what you told me i completely get why you feel like you do that takes the heat out of it straight away for people and i think it was that one particular project when i thought actually i love this yeah it felt it felt uncomfortable you know it wasn't i wasn't in comfort zone by the way but there's something that i find and still do uh i i get excited isn't the right word but i get a real buzz yeah you know what i love about the yantz and some people might be listening and watching and even the recording later she didn't actually ever answer that and i think the reason is is because we just get out there and do it you know often it and it's not that you set out intentionally to really excel in this area it was something that you did really well but i just want to address a couple of things that you mentioned and just highlight it so people are aware of it you said you were naturally curious you were curious you went in there and what you didn't do is you didn't take allow it to take offense and that you didn't take it personally would you say that there's a lot of conflict that goes on in workplaces and discussions are never had people are never given the opportunity to be heard because the person to whom they're speaking immediately goes into the defense is that something that you've seen and then there's this conflict that makes place and i guess this is where the social pain stuff comes in so um and that's one of the reasons why we got very interested in social pain um so social pain we just give you the headline because it makes complete sense why we don't want to front into those kind of situations and again you know i must reinforce people say to me but it's all right for you because you're comfortable doing it i'm confident doing it but i'm not ever comfortable doing it i don't enjoy it but i have done it so often that i know it will be okay if that makes sense so i i've got used to it um but social pain is when we experience any kind of disconnection from another person or tribe so when we feel rejected excluded we don't feel heard we feel unable to influence we've been misunderstood you know loss isolation so right now that's huge for a lot of people um we're in our second lockdown in the uk so you know the isolation thing is really big and what's really interesting for us is that a lot of people uh when you talk about emotion in business a lot of people say oh no no we don't do motion business i don't do emotion we all do emotion and what social pain has helped us do is really challenge the skeptics because the exact same part of the brain lights up when you experience any of that stuff i've just talked about in the same way it does when we experience physical pain so it's called the anterior cingulate and so it's anterior cingulate so if if you don't reply to my whatsapp message my anterior single it will light up if i cut my finger my anterior cingulate will light up if i break my ankle it will light up if i don't get the promotion it will light up the added the added challenge you know the other bit of great news is that not only do we experience social pain we're always uh evaluating social threat so that means we feel social pain before it's even happened to us so if i'm about to go into a conversation with you about your performance for example and i'm nervous about it even before i've walked into the room i'll be thinking to myself what if she misunderstands me what if i make it worse what if she excludes me just the what ifs are lighting up that part of the brain so i'm feeling it even before i've actually in reality experienced it does that make sense oh it's like yeah so what's really powerful about this is that we work with you know across uh the leadership levels you know from exec right down to first line managers who've just started their career it doesn't matter how long you've been doing it for or what level you're at it's something that none of us are comfortable doing because we're hardwired to feel this pain yeah hard wired to stay connected so um yes i would absolutely agree you know your first question just your question just a minute ago that i've kind of gone all over the place with absolutely people do not engage in those kind of interactions because of social pain and just knowing that helps people own that and say so i can admit now that i'm not comfortable with it because it's actually a scientific thing it's interesting that you said uh how organizations and i hope that this is changing let's say no we don't do emotion well guess what every single person even if they say you know well i'm not an emotional person well there are emotions that you feel it's just part of being human and let's go back to one of the points that i know that you want to share i mean how our thoughts impact how we feel and therefore how we show up so organizations that say we don't do emotion people just got well guess what if you're not dealing with it if you're not giving your team um the ability to you know coping mechanisms and so forth it's going to show up one way or another in the workplace but share a little bit more about how our thoughts impact how we feel and therefore how we show up so so anyone who wants to see uh download our the model that we use called the rising vibrational scale it's on our website because i'm going to talk about that now but it's a fantastic visual which is um a very simple way to help people to articulate how they're feeling so there's 22 levels on it and there are three words that will describe emotion on every level and the way that we talk about mindset is your thought pattern in any given moment and people talk about mindset in business all the time you'll know this you just need to change your mindset well it's because you've got a fixed mindset you just need to have more of an open mindset actually what does that really mean it doesn't really mean anything when you dig into it i say to someone so when you say just have an open mindset can can you be explicit for me uh well uh when you say he's got a fixed mindset can you be a little bit more explicit for me people can't do it but what we do is we talk about tell me how you're feeling right now on the scale and then tell me what you're thinking about what do you believe to be true about the situation right now they're driving those emotions and it's so powerful because people can using scale identify how they're feeling really easily just by you know going i'm around the number 13 or i'm feeling anxious or i'm feeling overwhelmed waiting fantastic uh it was that was very seamless i didn't realize you had that there fantastic so if i said to somebody if i said to you anne-marie can you tell me what your current mindset is uh you'd probably give me a word or a statement or maybe a sentence if i was to ask you to choose where you're on the scale and then for you to explain to me what you're thinking about right now what you believe to be true about the situation what do you think might happen what judgments are you making that will help you access your mindset in that given moment and we have 50 to 70 000 thoughts a day and that's why we find it so difficult to to access what our thoughts are in any given moment but by doing it by the scale it really simplifies it um so anyone just give it a go print it off just look at it ask yourself where am i on the scale today okay what am i telling myself right now that is actually driving those emotions um and the really powerful thing is just by shifting what you're thinking about just slightly can massively impact how you feel so we talk about high vibe and low vibe not good or bad not right or wrong every single emotion is valid every single emotion is valid so are you high or low vibe and if you're low vibe what you're telling yourself and what could you tell yourself instead and shift that just slightly that might help you feel a little bit better so for example you know saying something saying something to yourself like it's going to go wrong it is going to go wrong changing it to it might not go wrong it might not go wrong actually massively shifts the way that you feel it will go wrong to it might not go wrong for example or i can't do it to i can't do it yet or he doesn't like me too how how do i know he doesn't like me it's going to go wrong how do i know it's going to go wrong that slight shift in perspective of our thoughts massively impacts how we feel and that's why coaching and with this coaching and journaling is so powerful because it helps us articulate our thoughts and then we can challenge them uh if we write them down we can have our coach challenging for us when we said them out loud so i'm not talking by the way about because i totally connect to some emotion is held in the body trauma i totally connect to that i'm talking about the very head stuff that we do all the time you know we word around we get ourselves stuck in unhelpful thinking which means we don't feel good when we don't feel good we're not going to show up and be our best so so that's that's why we want to talk about that yeah i love that um and there's someone here that's uh following on facebook too can't see who your name what your name is because you haven't kind of given stream yet access to uh to your account uh your account but um they said kind of garbage in and in garbage out it's recognizing what's not helpful for me shifting it slightly which gives a complete different different approach and what you were sharing before lou about um and i think this is so important and it goes back into how social and physical pain activate the same brain circuitry what people don't realize and i love the example that you gave imagine that you were going to a meeting and it's a meeting that you really would rather avoid because the person that you're going to speak to maybe more um yeah maybe someone like you would have dealt with doesn't like change and you know there's going to be a bit of a confrontation so just thinking about the po potential conversation what they're going to say and what they're going to how you'll respond and let's face it ladies maybe men do this too i don't know we can have these massive conversations going on by the time we've just thought it through we are exhausted but what you are saying is that whole process even you know emotionally and physically for us can take its toll can't it we don't have that conversation but we're putting our cells through that would you repeat that again what you mentioned about that part in the brain for those of us who have uh so it's called the anterior cingulate so it's spelt a-n-t-e-r-i-o-r anterior singular c-i-n-g-u-l-a-t-e and what's really really fascinating about it is that actually we don't even need to have a significant connection to someone to experience social pain so one of the experiments they've done is it was called cyberbull and people were connected um remotely and their brain activity measured and the people that were connected remotely had never met had never seen each other never spoken to each other but they knew they were part of a tribe they knew they were part of this group and they were playing catch you know it was like cyber catch um and one at a time the moderator started to disconnect people from the group so if i was disconnected from the group i didn't know i've been disconnected but all of a sudden no one was throwing me the ball social pain i still experienced it this anterior singlet still lit up that is how significant this is so the more significant the person the longer the harder the brighter the light in the brain if that makes sense so the ultimate the ultimate social pain is is loss is death you know we've all heard the stories um of you know the elderly couple who are married for years um one of them passes away and then not long after the other one passes away and they weren't even unwell that's that is the ultimate is dying of a broken heart um but there can be people you're working with that you don't particularly like uh but are massively influential in your career or massively influential on your project so disconnecting from them or not feeling hurt not feeling able to influence them is really gonna hurt from a social pain perspective because they're significant so it's not actually about oh i really like them i really love them it's do they matter are they part of my tribe do they have an impact on my life and and as i've just explained with that experiment even when you don't know somebody just the fact that we are disconnected from a tribe hurts yeah so it's huge really just huge and uh danny cross my daughter just tuned in loving this topic ladies gets great danny and memphis mike was uh the one who mentioned the comment earlier what a great name yeah isn't it what's significant about what you've just said i mean you don't even have to know them i mean imagine now with all of the technology and the abilities to connect with people through social media and we don't even know them such as as you said earlier the example you might have shared a post and someone else has got thousands of likes and comments and you've got nothing or hardly anything that can cause that social social pain let's talk about then the example that you gave earlier can even be relevant in business you might have a prospective client or an existing client or group of clients that really do tend to wear you out and that cause you a bit of social social uh pain so what are some things that people can start doing and i love that this then segues into the third point how do we raise awareness of these thought patterns to enable a shift in perspective what is or are some things that we can start doing once we recognize you know this is not helpful for me and i know that i need to be able to change this to so it's not impacting me negatively what are some things we can do lou um so the first thing i've got going around in my head actually is that is that second question you've answered that first um the first thing is we have to want to change it so it has to be a big enough problem for us to change it so the only reason any of us will engage in buying something engaging with something or changing something is if we believe it's going to solve a problem that we have or it's going to give us something that we want but it's usually the problem-solving thing that actually will engage us more so it's really interesting when we're working with clients um and change isn't happening and people aren't engaging i would usually say well they probably don't connect to it in in in the way that is going to solve a problem for them because if that doesn't connect we won't engage with it we won't see the point of it if that makes sense so the same thing is true when it comes to changing the way you think so there are a lot of people and it is getting better you know i hope it's getting better the emotional is getting better but there are still people out there who lead in a way that is very unhelpful um there's no empathy it's very autocratic it's not kind they don't hold people to account um they don't set clear expectations um and then it's all about the person not performing sometimes the person is not performing sometimes the person is not set up to perform um so these kind of people they've always led that way for example and they'll be having some thoughts around you know their thoughts they have will drive that behavior they have if they get away with behaving in that way they will never have a desire to change it if that makes sense so it's really interesting that whole bit about what can we do to change it we have to recognize it's going to help us to change it and often people don't i recognize that i needed to change something which is why the brand is the brand it is and we have the tools we have that i suffered with really extreme anxiety for a very long time um and actually it got worse and worse and worse and people didn't know that about me because i hid it because there was a lot of i felt a lot of shame about you know what will people think because i look like i've got it all together and people would tell me that well i don't know how you do it of course it was more pressure oh my god but i'm not doing it all i don't want to say out loud this is you know i got myself stuck until i was having such uh severe nighttime panic attacks that i'm like i've got to deal with this and what i noticed i was doing i was and a lot of us do this because we're hardwired to scan for danger that's what we do but mine was really extreme in certain situations so especially around health actually i had a lot of health anxiety when i was younger and i would spiral into catastrophic fantasy really quickly so i would go to worst case scenario which a lot of us do uh but i would get stuck there really get stuck there so as soon as something would happen in the external world that i can control especially in certain contexts i would go into freefall and catastrophize and feel extreme anxiety what i taught myself and i had to teach myself this was going right i need to to notice when it's coming i need to notice what my thoughts are and that was simply when i noticed i felt that wretched writing down writing it down what am i telling myself what am i telling myself what i'm telling myself even that when i read it i could rationalize it a little bit then the most amazing transformation for me has been and people who work with me and and know me well will know that i do this when something happens out here you know that i can't control when i say out here i mean you know someone else does something or kovid hits or you know there's no vaccine or we're going to lock down again or you know anything like that i will go this feels rubbish what can i learn from it and as soon as i go what can i learn from it i feel so different and now i've absolutely changed one of my neural pathways for sure because i don't do that catastrophizing anymore i might go there very briefly and dip my toe but just long enough to notice it to go well this is crap what am i going to learn from it and that has been conformational for me so what i had to do was notice it was own it was admit it to really go this is where i'm starting from here because when we don't admit where we are we're never going to move forward from it and then i had to just practice that that is all i did for a long time and what tends to happen and in businesses is so common um we we send people on a two-day workshop and we expect their behavior to change we're like well nothing's changed of course it hasn't because that doesn't it doesn't work like that we have to apply what is called the attention density approach which is the approach we take at rising vibe and there's a there's an equation for this so i'll say this slowly so if you can write it down okay so there's an equation the equation is exposure plus repetition plus application equals transformational change so attention density exposure plus repetition plus application equals transformational change so if we remember when we were at school and i've got a sonic university and a daughter at a senior school high school from the minute they started school they would do lessons and then they'd have to bring a book home to read or practice their phonics and then we go through school you have homework you have tests you have exams you go to university you write a dissertation you all you are exposed to new information new ways new data then you repeat and apply you repeat and apply you repeat and apply and then there's transformational change then we get into business and people go i'm going to send you on a course the person going on the course doesn't know why they're going on the course then they they understand why they're there but actually they're like well i don't really get why i'm here because they're not connected to any problem it can solve for them they don't engage in it so they might be exposed to some stuff that is very interesting like well that was interesting two days but they don't repeat and apply it because they don't see the benefit they don't see the point the amount of money that is thrown at that kind of stuff kind of launch it and leave it tick box and nothing changes it's a completely false economy and that is still very much a big issue i think in organizations when you talk about it like this isn't it it is and you know what sometimes it's some of those leaders that need to be in those workshops than their team and it's you know and and what's something that i that you said and i think this is so applicable to all of us it doesn't matter whether we're working in corporate whether we're running our own business or even in our personal relationships if we deal with other human beings everything that you've said is so relatable to us but even if we're wanting to shift something in our own behavior how often do we read a book listen to a podcast whatever it is and then all of a sudden when something hits and we recognize some of that um old behavior which is causing or situation which is causing social and physical pain we immediately go oh well that didn't work either but i love that you know exposure plus repetition plus application equals the um you know transformational success well unless of course it's repeated and we do find ourselves in a situation we need to do that because we're repeating the new process well that's interesting what can i learn from that how can i be curious if we're not doing that and that repetitiveness and applying it we won't have that transformation so there's got to be some of that practice it's like going to the my daughter and she's still here relatable she's a personal trainer in nutrition online coach and so we would love to go to the gym one day lift weights and walk out and just look you know fantastic but it takes yeah yeah yeah totally and when it comes to mindset you know so this is this is where i i feel frustrated quite a lot of the time when i hear you know you just need to change mindset oh okay then oh no so first of all what do you mean what we mean by mindset is your thought pattern in any given moment and it can change like that and you know it's not fixed and it's not growth sometimes it might be fixed sometimes it might be growth sometimes it might be open sometimes it might be closed but it's not that simple it is you have thought patterns and i said you know at the beginning we have between 50 and 70 000 thoughts a day and around 95 of those thoughts are repeated 95 are repeated which is why it feels like we've got fixed patterns which is why it takes the intention of density to go right what what is going on for me why do i not feel great when i'm around this person why do i not feel great when i'm about to do public speaking why do i not feel great when i'm about to step into a gym okay i don't feel great i've noticed that first step so what am i telling myself what do i need to be true what do i think might happen let me write that down okay this and let me do it a few times just to check i have now seen seen some themes around what i'm telling myself so that is my mindset in context of that person going to the gym public speaking right that's my a point that's my a point so now what i need to do is every time i notice it i'm going to check myself i'm going to write it down and then i'm going to ask myself what might be a more helpful thing to tell myself instead of that and i'm going to practice that and it's boring it's boring but it works and when it starts to work when it does work it's no longer boring but we want instant gratification i think the instant gratification that we have so much now in the world it's creating in us it's actually establishing us an expectation that things need to be immediate or we're going to we're we're going to leave it but something that i wanted to ask you too in this whole process of of this transformation um and and long lasting sustainable um transformation things are going to come up so you know having every step that you just mentioned is so helpful do you also uh recognize i'd love you to to share some thoughts about this if it's relevant how often do we get stuck in our stuckness and we've got all this negativity but sometimes it's because we don't actually or haven't clarified what do we want what how do we want the situation to be so you know sometimes you've got the away from and the f and the towards i mean what is it that you're wanting let that be that the path let that be your north is that something else that you find people struggle with yeah it is and i i guess and actually i i was you getting the scale i've got one here like blue pizza definitely got blue pizza over there but we have a blue pizza so absolutely so we will immediately go to a problem because that's what we do so it's really helpful to allow yourself and other people to just explore the problem and then say so what you want instead of that that is a really helpful way to flip somebody and some sometimes people struggle they might start to go to what they want and they go straight back into the problem let them verbalize it and then say okay so i hear that so what do you want instead of x and y you will see how hard it is for us to get into an outcome focus place as a human being it's not a natural thing so again that process okay talk about your problem your issue your challenge is great so what do you want instead of that that is a practice starts to help someone start to naturally go to i mean the problem now gonna flip to the outcome there's a great quote actually um i think his name is alan cohen i might have not pronounced that right but it's a possibility mindset is one where you focus on the problem just long enough to get excited about the outcome i love that as a quote that takes practice though and when you are what we call low vibe it is really really hard work to get into outcome when you are higher vibe outcome focus is easier so this is again where this is really powerful if you're not feeling good if you're low vibe what might help you start to feel better because then you can start to step into outcome when you're up here outcome is easy when you're down here it's really not so again that's a really powerful way to use the scale is to ask someone you know where are you on the scale what thoughts are you having and then you'll know whether or not you need to go my new shy baby steps yet or whether or not someone can go into a big you know fantastic outcome because it's really hard any way for us to do that because we're always looking for problems um it's fascinating for me to work with clients and i say what's your perfect outcome yes it's important go back into okay they go back into problems i would say what's the problem you want to solve tell me the problem you want to solve get into that immersion for that and say and then break it down the problem say right great so this part of the problem what do you want instead of that this part of the problem what do you want instead of that this part of the problem what do you want to set of that that repeat apply it's it's basically self coaching because you know i see people that i work with doing that now naturally and it's fantastic because you're right something's really careful when we're low vibe we move away from stuff yeah all day long uh jackie masterson said really finding this so helpful so glad jackie i know it's fabulous and alexandra good point what do we want and she will add why do we want it so very important i mean you can use this in so many situations i mean even in relationships how many men and women say i wish i could find a partner that wasn't this this this and this we're really good often aren't we at expressing what we don't want and in situations like that i have found that's really helpful even when we're stuck and obviously i was in kind of that low vibe i started to be curious then and go all right i'm going to give myself this i do this today i'll go i'll give myself five minutes to to be in this low vibe and then it's out of there and i use that now it's about three minutes but i use that those points of what i don't want and i'll often go well what's the opposite of that because then that can often be a really good pathway um an indication to the things that i do want the absolute opposite of what i i don't want and um is really important and i know that we i've done that you know i've been running my business for 12 years and i know when i look back you know that i had some really interesting times in the early days i'm like man alive i can't believe i made that decision but actually i look back and i go well i don't want that to happen again so what am i going to learn from that so that i know what i do want instead i think we have to have the contrast we have to have that that was horrific that was terrible situation i did not deal with that in a way i wanted to or the response i had there was not what i expected okay so what do i want next time so so what can i learn from that and what will i change i i think it's a great way to look at it i mean i love i say i love making mistakes that's a slight exaggeration but actually mistakes you wanna they are coming but it's true isn't it and i love that we're we're kind of ending the show on that because how many people have gone through certain situations they've said things they've done things and they're carrying around them on the shoulder this invisible sack of shame you know and and guilt and regret and you know i decided years ago that guilt and regret and all of that they're wasted emotions let's look at it and i love the way that you've said what can you learn from it what will you do differently what are lessons that you can use to move forward and let that be something that continues to guide you so anytime i love that that you've said be curious all right recognize it but don't stay in that low vibe share the people your website because i know people will want to run to your website print off that beautiful rising vibrational scale and have that close by so that they can focus and really be guided by that lou how can they do that so uh we're at www dot and there's a rising vibrational scale page that you can download the scale um and if you to that and things like download so you can learn more about you know the scale in more detail and some of the other tools that we use as well yeah i think this is so fitting especially where we're at in in in experiencing you know worldwide administrator here in victoria um we have just come out of our second lockdown and it has been a horrific lockdown in in that um you know we've we've had um what do you call it i can't even think of it because it's not even part of my site you know when you can't go out at curfews i knew excited would say i didn't have a curfew on when i was since a teenager i didn't like it then i didn't really like it now anyway but um and i know as you said you know you've got that in the in the uk but i think what's going to happen is because this is cause for many of us social pain and physical pain we need to be able to know how do we learn from this so that we can better cope you know um as we go out and and into the future so and i think that that just the the really important bit again we haven't actually mentioned this is you know we are we are i am all about positivity when it's real the pressure will be positive though is really unhelpful um so one of our strap lines is feel better do better so the question i ask somebody all the time is what might help you feel better and then i'll follow up with is that within your control influence if they say no i'll say what else might help is that within your control audience okay what else might help and when they come to that yeah that is within my control influence then what support might you need it rather than you know i hear it a lot come on you've got to be grateful you've got to look for things that you appreciate you know chin up you know you've got to look at the the glass half full sometimes you don't feel that way and when people are saying to you come on you know listen it's like you know what if i could i would i love the way change your mindset oh okay that's great i'll do that but something else and i just want to finish with this and please go to their website just let me repeat that before we go rising dash vibe dot com what i think that you mentioned earlier and i think this is so important is that often it's not just one thing we need to break it down just like goals we might have big bold audacious goals but you need to break it down and when we start to look at it that way we've got these little learnings these little lessons and these little lessons bank up and then all of a sudden you realize that yeah okay there was a number of learnings that now have really held me in good stead so you can recognize those triggers and you know respond in a better way because you're intentionally recognizing those thought patterns and immediately flipping them um you know to something that's more empowering for you so fabulously with that yeah baby step baby steps baby steps all right well thank you i know that we've only just scratched the surface we've had a lot of conversations going on here by people who are watching that's been so valuable for them as well please go and connect with lou go to their website lots of great resources there uh to support you as well so thanks once again for coming on the show lou hello thanks for having me loved it thank you [Music] you

Channel: Annemarie Cross

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Id: QjsNirX33Q0

Length: 38min 20sec (2300 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 19 2020