Q and A with Ven. Aileen Barry - Session 1

[Music] hello hello I wanted to ask if you think enlightenment is a natural state for a human being if enlightenment is a natural state for a human being yes okay next question no it is so I mean the Buddha there's a nice story the Buddha was asked who are you are you a god he said no are you a human no so what are you he said I am awake and so enlightenment I mean the Buddha they did the term it's what is determined Tibetan sangai yeah so the full development of of our positive qualities and and the complete elimination of our negative qualities or negative states of mind so presuming that we're not enlightened then we haven't yet woken up and and it's our potential it's it's what we're like an acorn is a potential oak tree we as sentient beings are potential Buddhas that's just what we're capable of and and I would suggest I mean it is until such time as we attain it we're not awake we're just following mistaken I mean the jetsam is talking about the poisons as long as the poisons are in the system then they're going to that's they're going to be causing problems like h2o what is water it is h2 Oh what is a sentient being it isn't it our h2o is our enlightenment depending on the the the different Buddhist tradition some of them will say we already are enlightened others would say we're aiming towards it it's it's really just a matter of terminology I mean if you're an Olympic athlete a valid technique for getting you to receive the gold medal is to visualize yourself receiving it in advance I mean it's it's been proven that that does shift your your capacity to actually achieve the gold medal so you know it's it's fair as well to say that we already are enlightened that doesn't mean that there isn't work to do but yeah okay hello hi can practice be harmful under certain circumstances can we practice being harmful under certain circumstances no is practice himself or someone say who is not ready or under any other circumstance can practice be harmful yes in itself well what do you mean by practice meditation yes yes it can I mean just sue me again said this morning you know we we know there's a lot of research suggesting that that meditation is good for you that it can lower your cholesterol your blood pressure and so on but meditation is also not therapy in Tibetan the word means to become familiar and so what we're doing is to become familiar with who we really are my I have a friend who's a therapist and she's also a Buddhist and she says that therapy transforms our nightmare into a dream and Buddhism wakes us up from the dream so if if our mental state is one of you know being a nightmare then to meditate you may dredge up a lot of stuff that's really you know very very difficult to deal with so to what we're trying to do is to let me see if I can remember tame train transform and transcend the mind so that very first point of taming it is indicating that it's out of control and so the degree to which it's out of control you could you could get yourself into a lot of trouble with meditation it's not say not to do it but to recognize that it's just one aspect of of what we're doing Minjae Zuma says that first we have to have a healthy sense of an ego before we can annihilate the ego but first you have to have a good sense of of what we're capable of and having a confidence in that and I mean in relation to you know enlightenment I mean for the Tibetans in general they have a very good sense of their capacity they have a confidence in who they are I don't know about the Israelis but in the West I mean maybe a show of hands do you do you do you have a confidence in yourself or this idea of low self-esteem which pervades many cultures if that's prevalent then you can get into trouble yeah thank you nine fish so just going back to the h2o for a minute I was saying you know like our our the nature of the mind is like h2o because if we don't know that if we don't recognize that that's who we really are that we you know we are genuinely that we're defined by our goodness we're constantly trying to add things like we've got this h2o but it's polluted and so all we're doing is adding things to make so that you don't taste the pollution put a little sugar in a little bit of this a little bit is we keep adding things to try and compensate for something that feels flawed but really all we have to do is just remove the flaws they can be removed and then it's just there naturally hi my name is Jiri practice can bring you a lot of joy but I find I wanted to ask you specifically in this country I found it very hard sometimes to be joyful yeah some hard feelings come it was hard situation to know if you have some ignites about so you how can you be joyful yep is stress issues yep okay how can you be joyful when you're living in a stressful country where there yep I I think there is so much that we have which we completely take for granted we don't even see it I mean look at these amazing flowers they're there a miracle in themselves we all have a comfortable seat the weather is very nice I just had a delicious lunch I ordered double espresso I got four times the amount I ordered so there is so much that we have to be appreciate that we can appreciate and and if we focused on that on appreciation and gratitude I think joy would follow I think it would come and and you know i mean the the buddha is saying that the the greatest meditation would be on death and impermanence if we really understood that that we are impermanent and that death will come we would wake up more and be more appreciative of what we do have and it's so it's it's in small things I mean yes there are problems it's not to to pretend that they're not there but as judge some we're saying also the very fact that we know that there are problems we can work with them we can use them to to transform our minds because problems are going to come there's no we don't have we don't have to go out looking for them they will come but it's how we respond to them that's important and if we can respond to them skillfully and constructively we're growing ourselves we're growing our own ability to to align ourselves more with our natural state which is joyful the joy is there we don't have to we don't have to create it or manufacture it we just have to keep tapping into it and aligning ourselves with what is true what is accurate and if it will just naturally come it'll grow tell jhemini hey I am bliss dinging woman living in Israel it's a little tired shark-related will Nagila I'm a Palestine I am the daughter named Sheila I shall like it Chickasha get to DA mashaallah i'm kaze kaboosh yes boy Aman Aman itself the him Kashima get lot I thought I get to DA I have shall I get a say generate is asking how can you come to the Palestinian people and tell them something like you suggested before that you should be thankful and grateful when there is so much sadness and problems and they really did pay the situation is so grave how can you suggest to them to be happy or to be joyful to be grateful I think judge Sumer said I was just meant to answer questions related to the text this morning I just remember that [Applause] [Music] ya know I I mean I look dead that's a oh that's the question that I would it would take me a lot longer to think about but but my first the first thought I had about it i used to visit prisons yeah i visited prisons in australia and i mean in that situation i got to meet a lot of people who well first of all are living a very different reality to the one that i understand and it took me some time but III as time passed I began to realize more and more that I could not be so presumptuous or arrogant to assume that I had any idea what it was like for them to live there I don't know what to say I mean IIIi don't know what it's like to be a Palestinian to live under those extreme conditions from I mean I can only speak about my own experience and to know that that when I am aware of the suffering of others I can only use it to try and make myself a better person and hope that in doing that that that eventually I'm going to have some capacity to help them the last time we came to Israel we visited the nuns in Mount Carmel a Catholic nunnery and they're a closed order and they told us that an Arab family came to visit and there was a young teenage boy and he said to the the Abbess so what's the point of your life what are you doing here and she said we pray and she and he said okay so what are you praying for and she said we're praying for Israel we're praying everyday and he said well it's obviously not working and she said okay so what do you think would happen if I stopped praying and he was quiet for a while and he said keep praying yeah so I know I'm not answering the question and and I I don't know yeah you know just another when I first went to India and and I saw people on the street you know everybody's got their hand out needs food there are people dying there's all of this incredible suffering happening and I had all sorts of reactions I didn't know how to do anything and then I was reading some book and in some African language the word just the word hello literally translates as I see you and I thought that's all I can do when I've you know there's somebody in front of me who's in this awful suffering if I can just look at them and say I see you without trying to fix it or I'm sorry it's happening or whatever would have just that I see you thank you Oh Jared hey how can I come maybe to volunteer in your nunnery in India okay so the question was how to volunteer volunteer - yeah or to learn okay so jess umas nunnery in northern india has a guesthouse which has got five rooms so please don't all come at the same time but we do have a guesthouse and men and women are welcome we also have a retreat center which is women only as far as volunteering it can happen but it's there's not a lot of volunteer opportunities because the nuns are following a full-time study program it's a monastic University so they have they're following an academic year and we we do have people that will come and offer yoga or teaching English or you know computer skills or whatever but it's always tricky to find the right time that they get that it fits in and so I would say it's very limited the opportunities for volunteering but we do find ways I mean one one example we had somebody in America who was sending a weekly news bulletin of what was you know events that are happening in the world and we were posting that on the naans notice board just so that you know when we pray for all sentient beings then there's this recognition of what might actually be happening to all sentient beings so this this there are some ways jetsam it doesn't teach at the nunnery but she does teach at Dharma centers that are near the nunnery one in Dharamsala that to shoot a center and the other Deer Park Institute which is connected to song ii serum show is coming soon so they're both about 40 minutes away from the nunnery so you can just check on the schedule there's many other places that you can visit in in that area as well and volunteer including the to schita Center in Deer Park which both have really really very good programs of study and practice and lots of many wonderful monasteries and nunneries and he saw as the Dalai Lama gives teachings regularly so there's a lot to do Leora has been there Manny taur yeah you've been many times so and now you have a direct flight up there hello hello can you give us some advice about how to mix the balance between meditation I've missed out give advice on balanced meditation and mundane life day all day the yin and the yang yeah sort of speak this thing yep how's the spiritual and they're very often placed in countries like Israel not India very healthy very down to earth living which sometimes can be conflicting yeah okay so how how to bring Dharma into everyday life how to how to balance meditation and mundane activity yes yeah things one question okay well you're all here so you're you you're all you know making use of this opportunity to to bring Dharma into your lives you're listening to the advice coming from jetsam from so the all of this is something that we can take back into our everyday everyday lives with us I mean even going to India as just assumed I said she said it here I think didn't she there's not that many people that actually do go off up into the the mountain retreat for most people it even in the nunnery I mean the nuns have a very busy schedule just recently we were organizing if they've got to as just summer said they have a two-month retreat during the year and we were trying to introduce more meditation to two other treats is this live webcast by the way she just anyway doesn't matter so when when we wanted to bring in to further meditation retreats during the year the nuns were saying we're too busy we can't do it so it happens to everybody we we're all very busy I I would I mean they did the common advice that's given is to go to bed a little bit earlier get up a little bit earlier and and just do it do a short practice just seumas teacher the can't remember sure whose commentary she's the teacher she's giving commentary on I mean he said to her very early on just choose a simple practice but do it so we have to we have to do some enough that's I mean it's easy to go off on a retreat even if it's a short retreat and come back and go that's it I'm getting up at five o'clock every morning I'm on that cushion for two hours and nothing's going to move me and by the day by day three it's like what did I say that so you have to start small and you know keep it achievable but but trusting also that it's very powerful and and you don't need to do that much it's like and jetsam often uses the analogy of putting yeast into dough you just need a very little bit and then it permeates the whole day even if we're not sort of consciously thinking of us but it's like it's a bookend and either at either end of the day just a short amount of practice at the beginning of the day and setting your motivation for the day it's like setting the GPS then get on with the day take little breaks during the day and go okay how is it going you know you could not I mean I've these things you can get the little meditation Bell that's it again it doesn't mean that you drop everything okay everybody stop talking to me I'm about to meditate but just you're just hearing that sound and it's reminding you come back what's happening check what's happening in the mind as just assumed I was talking about earlier also we can we can start to use what we're learning here to then when you go out into the world somebody cuts in front of you in traffic there's a reaction that's okay but once the reaction has passed just take a look at it and go okay so what was happening there and and trying to do that with without judgment to do it with some compassion for yourself and a sense of humor because we need to become our own scientist we have to start assessing and recognizing what's coming up in the mind and we need other people around us to do that it's very very very easy to be a really holy person if there's nobody around you so we should you know win when you have reactions good then you're seeing what's happening and so this is the practice it's the practice is what's happening every moment what we have to be trying to cultivate is awareness of us recognizing it without judging us and and the more that we just see it and see it with curiosity because we want to learn about it we want to see the mess we will be so that we but again we have to be able to see it and recognize that it's not what defines us it's not it's not who we really are we're just looking at it and going oh there's anger there's jealousy there's depression and see it with with love see it with compassion see it with a sense of humor recognizing that this is the same that everybody else has got it and then slowly slowly slowly slowly slowly it does take a very very very very very very very long time but if we if we keep chipping away at a little by little by little by little then the confidence can keep growing as well and when you can take little breaks come come to weekends like this connect with a Dharma group don't get involved in the politics just you know cultivate harmony don't be surprised if there's politics in a Dharma Center when you bring human beings together it happens but just you know just let don't get distressed by that just keep doing your practice keep doing your practice but it is it is very powerful to come together as a group and you can do that online now as well it doesn't have to be but you know wherever you can come together as a group - that really helps thank you and then at the end of the day you can just assess how is that you know pick out a few good points a few points where you can improve more again just to keep it short and don't judge it but just assess it and reaffirm where you want to go again tomorrow set the GPS back on track hi you keep mentioning without judgment yep I find that judgment arises arises all the time yep judgment disappointment for myself from other things or people that I care about yep and I also know that I do know what is the antidote compassion forgiveness but it games it keeps coming up again and again and again for years yep and I find that the effect on me is again disappointment and discouragement sometimes losing faith sometimes losing fail using faith yep and I wonder what is your advice for the never give up you know I mean as you're speaking I I identify with every single bit of us hey I mean the same words the same thoughts are in my own mind and one of the images I have is of a bucket and you've got a drip of water going in all the time and so I I do have it if I mean if you can grow the recognition that that we are defined by our positive states of mind if we if we really logically and emotionally can see that that is true if that is valid then it does follow that we can grow that no matter how far it looks like we are from that so I I have an image of a bucket and every analogy is limited so we kind of have to be a little bit you know relaxed about comparing ourselves to a big metal boogers so you've got this drop of water going in each each positive thoughts and and I I trust that I mean in again like the yeast in the bread I trust that because the positive thoughts are true and valid and have a basis they have a logical basis to them I trust that they are very powerful even if most of the time if you don't see them or you're you're focused on the negativities but they don't have a logical basis of them you can eradicate them so you've got this drop of water going into the bucket all the time thing is I don't know how big the bucket is and I don't know how fast the drips of water are going but there has to be a point where as suddenly the bucket is full it just has to be the case I don't know how long it's going to take I don't know how the big the bucket is I don't know how many drops of water are going in or is there a leak I don't know but forget the leak that's where the analogy goes all right let's fix the leak whatever but but there has to be a point where we're a little bit like the Berlin Wall suddenly boom it's gone I just think that if we keep practicing no matter how many times you fall off no matter how many times the judgement doesn't the judgement is also coming from a mistake can I talk about Jesus here yeah so Jesus on the cross said Father forgive them for they know not what they do that's beyond judgment it's a mistake he said forgive them they don't know what they're doing and I remember watching a documentary about what would they call the skinheads the the National the nationalists in England and it was a they followed them over a period of decades and and it was very interesting documentary and so wanted them ended up in prison sharing a cell with with a black guy and he came out of that knee went I love him he's my friend and when he reflected back on you know and his extreme days he said I thought I was doing good I really believed I was doing good so I'd like to think that he had gone beyond judgment you know in his he wasn't judging himself back then he was just seeing that he had progressed and the logical conclusion was that we're all the same and yeah the judgement doesn't it doesn't have a logical basis to it no matter how no matter how much it feels like it has a grip on us we can eventually dissolve it so just never give up the coffee is wearing off hello and thank you um I'd like to ask something that is maybe basic or fundamental you keep saying and it seems to be the premise that human nature is good yes kind and yet when we look around and even look inwards there's much evidence to the contrary yep and you say but this is this is the valid this carries validity and and the other assumptions don't why or what is the source of the validity why not so it's a choice we choose to believe that there's no valid because the other option brings pain and suffering or is it a logic premise a logical premise that we build upon yeah fana Berube now has this um who she's been here yeah phenobarb inna so she has this some she says and I hear this as an equation the extent to which we are out of sync with reality is the extent to which we suffer and therefore cause harm to others when His Holiness the Dalai Lama is asked what's the purpose of life it's to be happy so that's our capacity that's our I mean you can check that you can see that we're constantly adjusting ourselves to avoid suffering you know I'm getting uncomfortable so I start doing this or we're constantly trying to either remove suffering or cultivate a happy state of mind but if we're if our methodology is not on track it's never going to work so this is what Vernon Bourbon is saying the extent I mean it's it's a little bit like going off to do advanced maths with this idea that one plus one is three everything will it is not going to work so if we take it as a given that our capacity is to be happy then if it's true that that's our capacity then it would follow that there must be a method that's actually going to bring genuine happiness and I mean you can argue if if if we asked every single person in this room what is happiness everybody's going to have a different answer I guess it has to be evidence-based it has to come through direct experience and if you look to maybe if you can even find one exception to the rule then that's showing us that there's a different way I mean you were asking the question about the Palestinians if you went and took a sample group of the Palestinians that we have in our mind as the group that are oppressed and suffering you will find one that's happy you will find one that wakes up in the morning and looks at the roses and goes oh my god they're so beautiful and who has appreciation and who has joy and who has love because you can respond differently to the that gets thrown at you and you can grows and and I mean you we're talking about the examples of someone like his Holiness the Dalai Lama I'm curious about them I'm interested in them and I'm holding them as role models for something that can be achieved I don't know if it's true or not to be honest I don't know it's I'm holding it as a hypothesis but I think it's a hype for so far so good it's a hypothesis that that I think is worth pursuing but really I I mean when I'm using talking about logic and so on we all know airplanes work because we've been in them but how many of us in this room could actually build one so it's still based on faith I'm trusting that somebody else can do it now just you know it'll take me from here to here but I'm relying on the expertise of others and the same with happiness I'm I mean at the moment my mind is its it doesn't wake up in a state of spontaneous joy but I do still trust that that's that I'm capable of that so I just got to keep keep going and see what happens does that help at all hi hi in the last few months of my life I started to experience time in a different way that the way I experienced it before and it opened my eyes and I started to think that if I experienced I'm different now so everyone in this room experienced time in a different way and maybe not only time maybe also also space and colors and I don't know everything so each one of us has a different picture of reality in their mind and even people that are close to me like my brother has really different way that they experience time and reality and space and everything so my question is how can we have a real deep relationship between two people or people people between people if each one of us has a different way that we have received the reality in the world yep it's true next question yeah I mean I think it is it is a very big question and it's not one that just someone covered in the text either this morning how to I mean I was saying about the power of positive a positive state of mind I think that they are very powerful even I think Lama Zopa Rinpoche says something like even one moment of kindness is a miracle because we're operating on I mean you're talking about conventional reality relative truth yes yeah and and and as I was saying earlier if we asked everybody in the room their definition of happiness everybody's got a different view on it so in the Four Noble Truths you've got what are called the Four Noble Truths the truth of suffering the truths of the the cause of suffering what are the other ones the pass and cessation and the path so thank you so we're what you're describing in conventional reality it's not it it's in the realm of suffering and again as I was saying earlier that's out of sync with reality out of sync with ultimate truths and so we're just constantly bumping into each other and if you have a moment of a positive quality arising of love of compassion of generosity and the person you're with happens to have a positive moment arising as well we'll be okay we're gonna get on together but if something negative is rising and then our mind kicks out or like what he just said and all these opinions are just they're cramming there they're destroying us they're going on all the time how do I feel about that whatever you think about that if we've got everything else taken care of we have a roof over our heads we've got clothes we've got food so then the mental suffering is going to just go berserk that's why I was thinking of the Four Noble Truths because there's there are different levels of suffering but suffering is going to find its way out somewhere whether it's on the mental sphere or on the physical like not having enough to eat or being in a war zone or whatever but you as long as we're in samsara it is a suffering state so there's there's no way for us to make some sort of work and that's it that's actually a huge realization we can go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah boss if if I had this or if I could do that then I'll be okay so we're we're our biggest delusion is towards our own state of suffering and as long as we keep trying to make some sorrow work we're just gonna keep bumping into other people as well because everybody's got everybody's going around going one plus one is three and then we're trying to prove it to each other and it's just not it's not gonna work but that's the first thing we've does that's compassion for yourself is when you you really get the fact that it's just not gonna work and you've got to find another way you've got to find a genuine way to get beyond that conventional understanding but your question is very very very very big and you just have to keep you'll keep if you keep following the Dharma you find answers first but also relaxed about it too because it's just in the nature of the mind to be you know constantly active and that's not that's not the whole picture there's so much more and so rather than focusing on why is it this way just get out of it you know that again just Summa often tells the story of the Buddha was saying if you get shot by an arrow you don't go oh so who shot the arrow and what was the arrow made from and I wonder how long is it and forget all of that just get the arrow out thank you hi hello I'm not sure I'm translating it right but I would like to ask what's the difference between mercy and compassion mercy maybe feeling sorry for someone or for yourself pity yeah someone said pity pity yeah yeah so compassion compassion is Mignogna suffering of another and wishing for them to be free of it or recognizing our own suffering and having the wish to be free of us again that's I need to know what your definition of pity is that we are equal with each other yeah I am so go I think maybe feeling sorry for someone else yeah for myself and being a part of this of his or her suffering so the person behind you is going like this so it's it's recognizing that again we're all in this together and I mean some people may look like they are we can be free of a particular type of suffering for sure but that doesn't mean that we're free of suffering so you know I'm so sorry that you're going through that you'll know in your own mind you've got to know in your own mind what the motivation is behind something I mean we were talking today about listening with bodhichitta so if someone if I hear of another person suffering if I can just and I'm like I was saying earlier with the saying I see you it's just to be with with with the suffering recognizing that it's there but not from a perspective of you know I'm really sorry you're suffering and just that it's not me or how lucky you are I'm here to fix it aren't you you're you're very lucky that I can do that for you it's just recognizing that we we all have this pity gives me the idea that there's you know that I'm better I'm better than you but you're very lucky because I'm you know I'm such a nice person that I'm just going to first sweet time I'm so sorry for you just really glad it's not me it's not true I mean compassion compassion again it's a spontaneous arising a recognition of the suffering and but not not an ownership of the suffering thank you know beyond judgement are we out of time one more hi hello I would like to ask you what do you think about bringing the practice to group that didn't choose to practice like for example prisoners that somebody in the prison decided this group need to practice the group yeah a group of prisoners for example or a group of teachers in school like that they had the minister decide that they should practice yeah it's very difficult I think it's um I'd so you've you've all heard the question and I could can you bring yeah what do you think about it if it's possible and if you have any advice for these kind of groups well when I was going into the prison it was always I mean I never had I never had to and that I'm aware of these guys had a choice about coming I know Vernon bourbon and talked about going to a prison once where it was a room full of prisoners who were told they had to be there and she said the energy was really different I mean we know it ourselves how many times we've been preached to I mean even our mothers you know telling us do this didn't you or we have that phrase you can bring a horse to water but you can't make a drink there's a story of I think some people running into the Buddha seeking help because they were somebody was chasing them to kill them and they were clinging to his ropes but they still got killed you have to lead by example you have to lead by your own I mean if you if you I don't know if you have a particular scenario in mind do you are you thinking of a particular I do yeah I do have group in a prison which they didn't choose to come to the group so why are they there I mean why are they in the group because somebody in the prison we decide that they should come to the group to practice it would be helpful for them and what's the group called what's a warrior nation meditation nation yeah and also in schools for teachers in primary high schools for the teachers yeah I don't know I mean if anybody's got advice to give her please do I I mean I'm thinking maybe if I was in that situation I'd probably start by saying look I know that a lot of you don't want to be here I understand that and I'm just just name it so that you can at least give them that recognition and then tell them that it's up to them whether they want to take anything from it or not but that from your sight you're not trying to I mean it's it's entirely up to the to them whether they want to pay attention to anything that you're telling them I mean Buddhism doesn't Priscilla proselytize it's it's not possible I mean we all have to come to this ourselves sorry yeah a meditation group I know but yeah you can say all of that you can say it's only meditation but again what does meditation mean to every single person in the room there's all of these connotations there I mean look again this this the the bottom line is that each of us has to get ourselves enlightened we can't tell anybody and I even I mean is enlightened a Buddhist term I mean it's in its developing our positive states of mind we each have to do the job ourselves nobody else can can force us or give us a pill that's going to be able to do it but but if somebody is being told they have to attend a group then the only thing that's going to make it work for them is for them to own it for themselves how you can help them to to feel that you know just say look let's just give it a try but the fact is you're gonna have to sit here for the next hour because somebody else told you I'm sorry but that's how it is and let's see how you know maybe you can take something home from it maybe not but I think you have to allow them to make or at least say to them it's your choice you can have a nap for the next hour if you want to that's fine maybe you maybe you can take something out of it who knows time to finish thank you thank you very much and my apologies take it all you know may you get good guidance from jetsam at this afternoon thank you

Channel: DFI Israel

Views: 1,696

Rating: 4.7714286 out of 5

Keywords: Tenzin Palmo, Jetsunma, Mahamudra, Dharma, Meditation, Buddhism teachings, DFI, Dharma Friends, Aileen Barry, Buddhism

Id: 3C2JOAlPcN8

Length: 54min 54sec (3294 seconds)

Published: Tue May 29 2018