- When y'all was growing up, did you have a sibling or
relative in your family that was little like you, but just was a tattletale? (audience exclaims and cheers) I mean, told everything, you couldn't, just ran they damn mouth, I mean while mama and them gone, they got graphs and crats, they got, they got, man
they could not wait. Man, I had a little
cousin I grew up with man, I ain't understand this dude, man, I could not understand him. Soon as my mama come in, well, well mama, you know
you left here at 3:45 and you asked them not to turn the TV on, at 3:46 it was on, it was on. at 3:46 it was on, it was on. (audience cheering) And then at four o'clock, they
had people over at the house. (audience clapping) Mama, there was people in
here while you was at work. You be standing there going, oh his little ass just be talking. Daddy, Daddy, you
remember that piece of pie you had in the refrigerator, with wrapped up in foil that
you was gonna eat later on? Huh? It's gone. (audience laughs) What was I doing? I was doing what you told me to do. I was upstairs cleaning my
room and doing my homework. (audience claps) And then mama, and then mama, they said if I told you that
they was gonna beat me up. (audience laughs) You can believe that. Then I had this nephew, I couldn't, matter of fact he on my
radio show, Nephew Tommy. (audience cheers) You know, he's actually my nephew. He's ten years younger than me. I couldn't stand him man. (audience laughs) No for real, I couldn't stand him, I don't like him now. This ain't new, this
hatred been for years. He 50 years old, now I can't stand him, he the worst relative I got. He do a good job on my radio show, pranks when he was a little
boy used to get on my nerve. Cause I used to have to
watch him all the time, you know, when you ten years older, you don't wanna watch him. Mama said, mama said, you
gotta stay here and watch me. Mama said I gotta sleep
with you cause I'm scared. Well you ever heard the
song mama say knock you out? (audience laughs) Cause that's what's gonna happen to you. Now folks, I started something
this year with my writers who write my monologues, and when they don't do well, they have to do a death march, because if I do a monologue
that don't go good, it ain't cause I ain't funny. Hell I'm one of the
original kings of comedy, I've been funny a long time. (audience cheers) So, if they write a monologue for me that I don't like, they
have to do a death march. Today, they wrote a good one. Ladies and gentlemen, my writers. (audience cheering and clapping) (audience cheering and clapping)
