Chad: Hey Mogg. Mogg: Hey Mr. J. Chad: So I know doing all this merch marketing like these three awesome DEATH BATTLE t-shirts can get kind of stressful, So we added some new office amenities that i think will help take the edge off. Like the new office jacuzzi. Mogg: Sheesh, no thanks! You ever smelled a wet sloth before? Chad: All right... Maybe a relaxing massage then? Mogg: Nyeeh. I got a fear of hands. Chad: All right! How about a nice hot sauna? Mogg: It's a (bleep) toast oven Chad. I'm Mogg Slothman, and now I got the sexiest shirt in the market: DEATH BATTLE shirts. You wear this, you're gonna find yourself in a sex battle. I don't know what that is, but I know you'll love it. Okay? Now click that link below and buy this shirt or they gonna eat me. (Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston) Wiz: It's finally time for one of the biggest match-ups in DEATH BATTLE history. Boomstick: Yeah the giant robot fight of all giant robot fights. Wiz: The Megazord, the heavy hitting mech commanded by five Power Rangers. Boomstick: And Voltron, the defender of the universe piloted by five paladins. Wiz: For this match-up there will be: No Dragonzords, no Galaxy Garrisons, no robot Brachiosaurus and no... mice. Boomstick: Just a good old 5v5 war of the giant robots. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor & skill to find out who would win... A DEATH BATTLE. Since the dawn of time, good has battled the forces of evil. The vicious witch Rita Repulsa and her giant monsters waged war with the good-natured galactic sage, Zordon. Boomstick: Their two thousand year war finally ended, when Rita zapped him into a time warp, but not before Zordon managed to lock her up in a space dumpster? Wiz: Yes, apparently that thing is a "space dumpster", or to put it more accurately, a "galactic recycling bin." However, Zordon knew it was only a matter of time before Rita escaped to conquer Earth once more. Boomstick: Good thing Zordon had thousands of years to come up with a fool-proof plan. He could summon the five greatest warriors from around the galaxy to defend the planet, or... Zordon: Teleport to us five overbearing and over emotional humans. Alpha 5: No! Not that! Not teenagers!! Wiz: That plan is asinine! But somehow, it worked! Zordon granted five teenagers the ability to draw power from a dimension called the Morphin Grid. This molecular transmutation turns them into superhumans with access to mighty mechanical beasts called Zords, becoming the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Zack: Mastodon! Kimberly: Pterodactyl! Billy: Triceratops! Trini: Saber-Toothed Tiger! Jason: Tyrannosaurus! All together after morphing: Power Rangers! Boomstick: ♪ Go go Power Rangers! ♫ (Several random notes sung) First there's Jason Lee Scott, the Red Ranger. He's a fearless leader, expert martial artist, and owns one of the coolest Zords of the bunch: the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Wiz: Billy Cranston, the Blue Ranger, is the genius of the group. He loves to work with machines, especially his impressive Triceratops Zord. With its grappling hook horns, this 140 ton behemoth can stop a foe in its tracks. Boomstick: Trini Kwan, the Yellow Ranger, is equal parts brains and martial arts specialist, she's a threat both outside and inside her speedy Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord. Wiz: Kimberly Ann Hart, the Pink Ranger is a smack talking valley girl who has the skies covered in her Pterodactyl Zord, which can fly at two and a half times the speed of sound. Boomstick: Last, but not least, there's Zack Taylor, the Black Ranger, who's mastered his own fighting style called "Hip-Hop Kido." Yep, this kid fights aliens with the power of dance, along with his Mastodon Zord. Although slow, this Zord can freeze-blast enemies with ice, or...saran wrap if you're short on budget. Wiz: But when five giant mechanical beasts aren't enough to keep the villains down, these machines join together to... Boomstick: Forge the coolest friggin' thing you've ever seen in your life! Red Ranger: Power Rangers, bring 'em together! Wiz: This is the Megazord, a 333 foot colossus with enough power to effortlessly tear down buildings, sometimes unintentionally. All five Rangers pilot the Megazord as one, combining their own martial arts skills to defeat giant monsters. Boomstick: It's like a giant Rock'em Sock'em Robot, with laser beams! It can fry enemies with its cranial laser, blast fireballs from its hands, shoot immobilizing beams from its eyes, and even use the Mastodon's face as a shield. And when it's time to send someone to an early grave, they summon their blade ex machina, the Power Sword. Wiz: Little known fact: Simply touching the power sword can recharge the Megazord if it's low on power. Boomstick: It's not just a battery, this giant sword is over one hundred feet long, and orbits the Earth when not in use. Plus, it can launch energy waves and cut down almost any monster with just one swing. Wiz: And there's even more, it's a surprisingly versatile weapon, like with this feature they implemented against the Knasty Knight. Zack (Black Ranger): Any energy we throw at him, he just reflects back at us, that's why our weapons all burned out. Jason (Red Ranger): So what do we do about it? Zack (Black Ranger): Reflect his energy back at him, along with a bit of our own! Boomstick: I don't get it. Wiz: Apparently, the Power Sword can absorb oncoming kinetic energy and turn it against the attacker, drastically increasing the Megazord's striking power. Boomstick: Well, after pummeling monsters every weekday afternoon, the Power Rangers have been through almost everything, from fighting a world destroyin' dragon, to a giant walking pumpkin who raps? Pumpkin Rapper: Ooh, you Rangers make me mad, waking me up with a rap that bad! Wiz: They've even fought Kimberly's purse. Boomstick: Man, these villains were getting desperate, and so were the writers. Wiz: Anyway, the Megazord is strong enough to lift and throw the 170 ton Dragonzord into a mountain with little effort. Boomstick: So long, gay Bowser! Wiz: Even the individual Zords can support the weight of whole monsters on their own. While many of these monsters should weigh similar to the Megazord, some certainly weigh even more, in fact, in a general scale, when you double the size of an object, it's weight increases by a factor of eight. Comparing these organic monsters to human beings means some of them could weigh as much as ten thousand tons. Boomstick: And the Megazord even gut punched one of them over a hundred feet into the air. Wiz: Assuming that monster is ten thousand tons, lifting it 133 feet would require about ninety million newtons of force, fifty times as much force as a space shuttle's launching thrust. Boomstick: With that kind of strength, I bet you could backhand a person into outer space. Wiz: That's oddly specific. Boomstick: Strange, wasn't it? Regardless, they've used that strength to take down countless monsters capable of wipin' out all life on Earth. They even went toe to toe with Cyclopsis, a war zord designed to conquer entire worlds. Wiz: But even for the Power Rangers, defending the Earth is no small job. When they least expect it, the Megazord's energy supply can be quickly exhausted in the middle of combat. Boomstick: And it doesn't help that half the reason is because they just get hit so damn much! Despite the Megazord's awesome power, it's really lackin' in the whole maneuverability department, I mean, come on! It can at least try to avoid an attack! Wiz: But when the enemy hits hard, the Power Rangers hit back even harder, with the fate of the world lying in their hands, no one can ever take them down. Red Ranger: Bring him down! Power Rangers: HIYAH! ♪ Go go Power Rangers! ♫ ♪ You Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers! ♫ Wiz: From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend. Boomstick: In less cryptic terms, 1,200 years ago, the evil Drule Empire nearly conquered the entire known universe. But, not everybody was cool with fleets of ships shootin' up their planets, so a team of scientists and magic priests decided to fight back. Wiz: Through the marriage of magic and technology, they forged a 300-foot tall, living automaton so powerful that it single-handedly pushed back the Empire's onslaughts. Before long, the whole universe had heard of the mechanical knight known as Voltron. Boomstick: Pissed that he was losing everything because of some space robot. The empire's King Zarkon ordered a space witch to kill Voltron with a magic space spell. And it kind of worked...? Instead of bein' destroyed Voltron was split up into 5 very merchandisable robot lions. Wiz: Divided and stripped of its sentience, the universe's best hope had fallen. Boomstick: Until five space explorers crash-landed on Arus. The exact same planet the lions just so happened to be hidin' on. Destiny or some crap led him to the castle, where the princess Allura gave them a life-changin' opportunity. Pilot the long-lost lions and go around savin' the universe for a livin'. Wiz: Keith Kogane is the head of Lion Force in more ways than one. As leader of the team, he commands his cohorts and he pilots the Black Lion the literal head of Voltron. Boomstick: Lance McClain is the Han Solo of the group, this hot-headed show-off controls the Red Lion which forms Voltron's right arm. Wiz: Tsuyoshi Garett better known as: "Hunk" it's the muscle of the team. He pilots the Yellow Lion which forms Voltron's left leg. Boomstick: The Blue Lion is piloted by Sven Holgersson- ...Oh, he dead. Ahem... the Blue Lion is piloted by Princess Allura herself, takin' over after the original pilot got a bad case of stabbin'. Her Lion forms Voltron's right leg. Wiz: Last up is Darrell Stoker, you can call him Pidge. Pidge pilots the Green Lion Voltron's left arm. Boomstick: And he's also... ...well a little unhinged. Pidge: (screaming)
Hunk: Pidge! Get rid of that grenade. Pidge: (continues screaming) Boomstick: At least his outfit matches his Lion's colors I mean damn it's not that hard people. Wiz: And when all 5 Lions combine, Voltron lives again. Keith: Activate Mega Thrusters! Voltron Lion Force: Voltron!!!!! Keith: Form feet and legs! Form arms and body! And I form the head! Boomstick: Hey Wiz, you ever think about how the pilots stay in the heads of the Lions when their fightin'? That has to be, like, ridiculously nauseatin'. Wiz: Oh, undoubtedly, that's probably why they usually travel by flight, and prefer long range combat over hand to hand. Boomstick: Speakin' of which, Voltron got busy fighting Zarkon's giant robeasts and savin' the universe with a huge assortment of weapons. Voltron can shoot Stingray Missiles and even pillars of flame out of it's hands and feet, or blast the Lion heads off like rockets. It can stun enemies with Ion Dart lasers from its head, or use the Electro Force Cross attack from its chest. Wiz: On Keith's command, the Lion Force can manifest Voltron's most powerful weapons out of thin air, everything from spinning laser blades, to javelins, to nun-chucks. Boomstick: But the real show stopper is the almighty Blazing Sword. Keith: Form Blazing Sword! Boomstick: With this blade, Voltron can slice through most robeasts like jello, and dish out the Star Fire attack, which splits robeasts apart and also makes a friggin' tornado for good measure. Wiz: The Blazing Sword can also conduct electricity to recharge Voltron itself. Boomstick: Why are all these swords also batteries? Wiz: The Blazing Sword is enormously powerful, capable of destroying a satellite hundreds of times larger than Voltron. Voltron himself is powerful enough to melt meteors, kick giant machines sky high, and take explosions the size of countries. Boomstick: The Voltron Lions have even traveled between galaxies in less than a day, making them several times faster than the speed of light. Wiz: Voltron has also survived landing on the Omega Comet, which is so dense, it possesses the gravitational force of a black hole. Boomstick: Okay, that all sounds insane, but even giant robot man-lions have their limits, like gettin' ganged up on by multiple robeasts at once, or gettin' stabbed and sliced open, but black hole levels of gravity? Huh, that's a cakewalk, right? Wiz: Voltron may be strong, but it lacks the finesse and skill of one trained in martial arts. Voltron also carries a shocking design flaw, if the release plates on its joints are struck in combat, it could jettison an entire limb from the core body. Boomstick: Wait wait wait, your telling me that if I kick Voltron, frickin' Voltron, in the shins hard enough, he'll just lose a leg? It'll just pop right off? Wiz: Essentially, yes, though it has only happened in training. Even so, whether the Lion Force is up against a technical issue or a colossal robeast, the universe can always depend on Voltron. Wiz: All right the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: But first all this talk of robots is mechin' me hungry. So let's... let's fix that. Now I'm a man who likes a good home cooked meal but going out to buy or hunt my own food is a hassle. If only there was some way food can be brought straight to me. Wiz: Good news Boomstick introducing: Blue Apron. The #1 fresh food delivery service in the country. Using only the freshest ingredients Blue Apron delivers a kit of ready to cook meals straight to your door along with easy to follow instructions. Boomstick: Plus the ingredients are perfectly proportioned so it cuts down on waste and you know you're usin' the right amount. On top of that you can log into their website and select the upcomin' meals that sound good to you. Like the spinach fresh mozzarella pizza with olives. Wiz: Plus it does feel rewarding cooking new and exciting meals right in your own home but don't just take our word for it, we want you to try it. Boomstick: Because you're watchin' DEATH BATTLE you can get 3 meals free with free shippin' by heading to Blueapron.com/BATTLE. Wiz: Seriously you will love how good it feels and taste to create incredible home cooked meals with Blue Apron. So don't wait that's Blueapron.com/BATTLE. Boomstick: But right now... IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Keith: Scanners on team! Seems the prehistoric activity originates here! Lance: Finally! If I don't see a dinosaur today, I'm blaming you. Allura: Quiet Lance, I'm picking up something... Power Rangers: Power Rangers! Hunk: Helloooo! Jason (Red Ranger): We need Dinozord power, now! Pidge: Hunk, what's happening? Hunk: I think I found the dinosaurs... Jason (Red Ranger): All right Rangers, log on! Zack (Black Ranger): Zack here, this is kickin'! Billy (Blue Ranger): This is Billy, all systems go! Trini (Yellow Ranger): Trini reporting, ready to rock! Kimberly (Pink Ranger): I love this part! Let's tame these kittens! Keith: Form Voltron! Form feet and legs!; Form arms and body!; And I'll form the head! Jason (Red Ranger): Megazord Battle Mode! Voltron Force: Voltron!!!! Announcer: FIGHT Billy (Blue Ranger): C'mon! Keith: Form Spinning Laser Blades! Zack (Black Ranger): Who are these guys? Jason (Red Ranger): We need the Power Sword, now! Zack (Black Ranger): Ha! Stay down! Jason (Red Ranger): Let's show 'em how it's done! Power Rangers: Yeah! Hunk: It's a sword! Keith: Seriously! Form Blazing Sword! Kimberly (Pink Ranger): Umm... Isn't this usually the part where we win? Lance: Wait, the sword! Pidge: No time! Trini (Yellow Ranger): Jason look! It's wide open! Lance: Pidge, no! Pidge: LANCE! NOOOO! Jason (Red Ranger): All right guys, let's finish this! Allura: We need to move! Pidge: GET AWAAAY! Keith: Pidge, the sword! Give him covering fire! Allura: With what? Keith: Everything! Billy (Blue Ranger): Quick, redirect the energy! Jason (Red Ranger): It's too much! Announcer: KO Boomstick: Now that's what I call a battle! Wiz: There's a good reason why Voltron is the defender of the universe. While the Megazord boasted excellent abilities in hand to hand and sword combat, Voltron couldn't go down so easily. Boomstick: Voltron's huge arsenal put it ahead, especially in long range, even when the Megazord could get in close, it couldn't keep up with Voltron's blazin' speed. I mean, Voltron travels between galaxies in a matter of hours, and it can fly. Wiz: The Megazord once punched a monster weighing at most, ten thousand tons, 133 feet into the air, in contrast, Voltron kicked a 3,900 ton mutated bulldozer nearly 1,900 feet up. Despite Voltron's monster weighing less than the Megazord's, this is still a more impressive feat. Comparing weight and distance traveled for both feats, Voltron's requires at least five and a half times more strength. Boomstick: Plus, Voltron clearly had the superior durability, especially with that black hole comet feat. Wiz: The Omega Comet's pull could destroy entire planets within 62 miles of itself, which means the comet could output forces of over 13 sextillion newtons. Boomstick: The Megazord couldn't survive anything close to that level of power, we can prove it. Later in Power Rangers history, they upgraded their mech to the Thunder Megazord, which is specifically stated to be more powerful than the original Megazord in every way. Alpha 5: The new Zords will serve you well Zordon: Once mastered, your Zords will reveal even greater powers. Wiz: When this new Megazord fought against a giant Zord called Serpentera, which, at full power, could destroy planets, a single blast from it easily tore the Thunder Megazord apart, and that blast didn't even use half of Serpentera's power. Boomstick: Voltron outclassed the Megazord in almost every way that counted, including strength, speed, and durability, trust me, I'm not "lion". Wiz: The winner is: Voltron. Ben: Don't go away we're about to reveal who's fighting in the next episode. Chad: And if you wanna see behind the scenes commentary on this episode then just click that box and start a 30-day free trial for FIRST membership. Ben: Thanks guys.
