Poetry Reading- by Najwa Zebian

thank you here is a dedication to you these mountains that you are carrying you were only supposed to climb moving on may take stages yes but humans do not heal and clear-cut steps no one moment you may feel completely healed and the next moment the scent of a breeze that reminds you of them breathes the pain so freshly back into your flesh and rips your heart into pieces once again you forgive them one day and the next day your self-worth screams into every vein of yours paralyzing you begging you to be angry with them as I mourn the loss of your love my heart cries I tell the memories of you that I love you and that I want you back your memories fight back and tell me he never loved you he never loved your smile nor your lips he never loved your vision nor your eyes he never loved your touch nor the creases on your hands he never loved your innocence nor your fair skin he never loved your thoughts nor your mind he never loved your care nor your heart he only loved your love and the way you loved him you made him King but there was no Kingdom to rule you put suns in his sky but the night was his home you made him a knight but there were no battles to fight he never loved you but he loved the reflection of the men he saw in your eyes but listen to me my friend you never loved him either you just loved being the Queen you loved being the son you loved being the woman behind a great man you never loved him you loved having something to give someone to fix someone to please you see in love you don't get what you want you get what you think you get [Music] once upon a mistake I loved you and you loved me the Sun shined brighter than ever in my sky and I felt like heaven could not be close enough to my happiness after I spilled my love into your heart I said to you that I was sorry for hurting you although I did not understand how my love for you could have hurt you after we fought our fights and caused each other pain only because I loved you and could not let you go and you stopped loving me and wanted me to let you go months upon months and tears upon tears letters inside letters and hopes inside hollow hopes I wrote to you I begged you to not leave me but you left like a bird with broken wings I stood in front of you and I said to you I cannot let you go because I am so uninterested in a reality without you if I imagined falling asleep next to you and waking up next to you if I imagined allowing you into my space and allowing you to invade mine if I imagined growing old with you and letting the child and me play around you how can I hate you I don't just want attention I want your attention I don't just want to be wanted I crave you wanting me I crave the love you had for me I want you to love me if it's time that you want I will wait just tell me that we will have some day what we had one day [Music] why was it so hard for me to let you go I had no home and with that I was content because I never knew what it felt like to feel like home so you built a home for me and I finally felt like I belonged all of my scattered pieces suddenly came together somewhere I put my heart to sleep as you cradled my worries away I woke up one day cold abandoned without a roof on top without windows or walls without you and you wonder why I am unable to let you go before you I never knew what a home was you gave me a taste of heaven and with your hands you took it away once you enter heaven you can never live again the same way one day you will tell me that you wish you never left and I will tell you that I wish you had never come back that I wish that you had not walked away but you did walk away you will tell me that you missed the look of love in my eyes and I will ask you if you missed the tears that my eyes cried the day that you walked away you will tell me that you wish I would give you another chance and I will tell you that I wished he never walked away but you did walk away you will tell me that you were not yourself when you walked away and I will tell you that I was not myself when I thought that you were the one so do me a favor and walk away this time because I do not want you to stay if you tell me that softness is weakness don't you dare tell me that hardness is strength if you tell me that kindness is weakness don't you dare tell me that bitterness is strength sir take your cruelty out of my kingdom and allow my soft heart to crown my mind with the strength in my kindness I hope from the bottom of my heart that no one ever hurts you the way you hurt me I could easily wish you pain but you hurt me so much that I would never wish it upon anyone let alone someone I loved today I decided to forgive you not because you apologized or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me but because my soul deserves peace and I will not deny my soul its rights [Music] my dear self I apologize for not putting you first for putting them first for making your worth dependent on how they saw you for making their words more important than yours for not allowing myself to forgive you or forgive me forgive me for believing them when they said that something was wrong with you forgive me for not believing and you forgive me for loving them more than loving you forgive me for not loving you and I will end with this thank you for silencing me you led me to break the silence of thousands who've met humans like you who chose not to use their hearts to love to allow their conscience as to be just or they're broken pasts to heal the wounds of the broken thank you for loving me only when you needed someone to love you you led me to understand that in times of our need for love our hearts are the most beautiful thank you for leaving me when I needed you most you led me to myself he led me to needing my own heart you led me to my voice thank you [Applause]

Channel: Najwa Zebian

Views: 169,120

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Id: iMLzwPyKl8M

Length: 10min 15sec (615 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 14 2019