Playing with Fire - Movie Review

so before this very pg-rated movie began in a theater filled with children the theater accidentally ran all the trailers that were supposed to be attached to a more adult film these were just some of the moments that I shared with a bunch of small infants what happened to him he cut his wrists way better than real sick so you're saying the person trying to kill you is in the room right now it's just that my breasts are humongous review Jojo rabbit they said review the irishman they said no says I I will review the new American classic directed by the auteur Andy fickman Helmer of such classics as who's your daddy she's the man the game plan race to Witch Mountain you again parental guidance paul blart mall cop to Kevin James never don't give up and playing with fire how could I possibly review a film from Martin Scorsese or Taika Waititi when a film like this is out in theaters right now side note I am reviewing both of those movies very soon Jojo rabbit probably tomorrow an Irishman when it comes to Cleveland on November 11th that's when my screening is I haven't seen it yet I have no way to see it until then but today we're talking about playing with fire a new film starring John Cena which is about a firefighter and his crew who rescue three children from a burning house and they bring them back to the fire station to await their parents arrival and when their parents don't show up they have to care for these kids for a few days and they're quite a handful and that's the movie it's really good I must say what was it about the story that hooked you oh it's a good tale and I think that's to me it didn't I'll explain a scene that happens in this movie so you can understand exactly what type of film it is John Cena is asleep in his bunk bed in the firehouse kid comes up and wakes him up it startles him so he shoots upwards in bed hits his head on the top bunk and because of that small jostling of the bunk the entire bunk collapses onto him that's the the movie that's that's that's the film the whole movie that's like that and it's a new American classic I must say what what you're going to be able to bring your kids and they're going to laugh because there's poopy stuff and soapy stuff and slipping and falling well John Cena is trying to take care of these kids the littlest amongst them warns him that she's got to take a poopoo don't do it and we're greeted with the first of many scenes revolving around poop which is obviously the highlight of this movie children I'm sure are going to really love all of the poop scenes they're going to last because there's poopy stuff not only do they have to have an entire scene in which John Cena wears a fireman's outfit that is supposed to keep nuclear particles out of his gas masks but cannot combat this child's [ __ ] smell we get a second scheme where John Cena I'm laughing but it's great trust me is trying to take a [ __ ] in the forest but the child does not want to leave his sight so he must hold the child like this right in front of his face staring into the child's eyes while he shits trust me this is the pinnacle of entertainment today the film also has an entire subplot dedicated to my little pony which was another great thing that I experienced in the theater today in fact a lot of them have to sit down and watch my little pony with the kids and they liked it so much that they continued to talk about it they talk about Equestria and all of the wishes of the various characters in the show and there's a really tall bald guy with a beard he's very grizzled and manly they call him axe because he always carries an axe around but he doesn't talk he never speaks they never hear him say a word even though he probably had to go through a very difficult and strenuous training regimen to get to be a firefighter and he probably had to say some things and do applications and go to interviews they never hear him say anything until of course he opens his mouth and sings an operatic version of the My Little Pony theme no I'm not kidding that is in the movie and that happened don't do it around with it if I were to realistically talk about issues with this flawless movie John Cena has four shirtless scenes in this children's film and I think if I was ten years old I would have wanted to see his nipples a lot more than that especially since they're so veiny and hard and boisterous right I think as a child I would have preferred to see a lot more of those nipples that's probably my only real issue with the movie realistically this is a really really terrible movie but I don't really think it's much of a surprise considering the filmography that I listed before doing this review considering the plot and the fact that this is very obviously an attempt for John Cena to perhaps reach a wider demographic towards younger kids the rock did it with the game plan one of the movies that I just mentioned this guy directed as well and the tooth fairy which he didn't direct there's always this attempt when you're like a transitioning from one thing to another to try to appeal to the broadest demographic as possible John Cena was also in blockers which was a more adult comedy that I actually had some laughs he was pretty funny in that movie here this is like the most prepackaged odd 2003 movie I've ever seen this film feels like if you were four years old in 2003 that's the demographic for this movie it's a slapstick family comedy where people get thrown into walls and poop explodes onto people's faces and a child grabs a firehose and gets flung all around the room they really don't make too many movies like this anymore so if you love those 2003 shitty slapstick comedies then this movie is right up your alley when I review a family movie that's aimed at kids I try to look at it and be realistic and the fact that it's obviously not for me and it's easy to hate on a film like this I talked about that in my review of Dora and the lost city of gold I remember saying like most kids are probably gonna really like this and that film is actually working pretty hard to entertain children it's not a bad family movie it's really not even though it's really easy to like meme on that movie with playing with fire I actually think a lot of kids are gonna be really bored by this there's a romantic subplot with John Cena and Judy Greer there's all these weird random shirtless scenes one of them were he's in the shower like scrubbing himself I'm not seeing little kids being all that interested in that and I would say the movies biggest actual problem is that there really isn't that much firefighting in it there's very little firefighting which i think is potentially the best thing for a kid to see who's young to see like these heroic figures in the movie being firemen and actually like doing things that real firefighters do but there's such a superhero edge to the way it's shown they like fall out of the sky with epic music they even refer to themselves as superheroes at one point it's not taken seriously at all and that's kind of a missed opportunity show kids just how great firefighters really are because they kind of just make them look like cartoon characters which is a disservice to the actual work that's being done and Judy Greer's character is a scientist that's obsessed with toads and John Cena is a firefighter who's obsessed with fire and so as these characters come closer together they have to like struggle over talking about toads and fire and I'm just seeing all these small infants like drool hanging out of their mouths just [ __ ] bored out of their goddamn minds I was right there with the kids I've been in family stuff I've been more adult stuff I've been animated stuff I've been action stuff I've been drama stuff I think that the common thread between all that material is I enjoyed the story and this was no different I just enjoyed the the voyage of the kids and the smokejumpers and the whole movie of it all and I think it's gonna really play out well on screen there's boopie stuff and soapy stuff I've been sitting here for like two minutes how can I even grade this I can't grade this movie it's too perfect the film is going to inspire generations one when I sit down and think about the movies that I want to make I think about movies just like this I think I can't wait to set up a camera where John Cena rips off of my little pony shirt that is exactly what I want to do with my life that's the legacy that I want to leave behind how can i grade a movie that that's that flawless that understands exactly what I want to do how how can I possibly grade a movie like that it's just not possible this film is ungraded it's too good you'll stand up and Cheer it's so good you will actually stand up and Cheer that's how [ __ ] good this movie is if I were grading this movie out of a pure like meme level of enjoyment it's like a ten out of ten perfect flawless I loved it I laughed so hard at so many parts and I'm sure that the people around me thought wow that guy's really entertained by this shitty movie his standards must be really low but I was just having the time my life as an actual film it's obviously an F but I just don't want to grade it I don't this is this is a hilariously [ __ ] this is a hilarious 'ti I'm not gonna call it that though cuz I don't have the clips I can't show you any footage I can't really dissect the movie but damn I want to I don't grade hilarious ''tis and that's what this movie is that there I'm satisfied now I can't grade it it's too perfect guys thank you so much as always for watching I am gonna review Jojo rabbit this weekend probably tomorrow or the next day and I'm seeing the irishman on the 11th really obviously really excited for that one guys thank you so much as always for watching and if you like this you can click right here and get stuck Minh eyes [Music]

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Views: 419,451

Rating: 4.8978944 out of 5

Keywords: Playing with Fire, Movie Review, Chris Stuckmann, 2019, Hilariocity, Funny, Hilarious, Scene, Clip, Trailer, Teaser, Reviews, Film, John Cena, Keegan-Michael Key, John Leguizamo, Brianna Hildebrand, Judy Greer, Dennis Haysbert, Tyler Mane, Andy Fickman

Id: 5FNHF9IZ_Co

Length: 11min 37sec (697 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 09 2019