Phone Reps, What Do People Say When They Are On Hold?

phone reps of reddit what is the best thing anyone said while they thought they were on hold i was working as a tier 2 and often took escalations mad customers when i approached and asked the rep what was going on he simply said she is an old bee his headset was not muted and i froze when she says i heard that while taking an escalation the customer yelled into the phone probably as loud as he could as he was very angry i'm a freaking heart patient do as you're told i had to mute the call because i was laughing so hard i had an older gentleman say i'm on the phone with a nice young gentleman he is going to save me money on my life insurance presumably this was to his wife i was trying to upgrade his tv and internet package not his life insurance so when i came back to the phone i let him know this was not life insurance he would just be getting a landline from us instead of his old company he didn't like that so much as the insurance thing old people are either the most lovely people ever or the worst people ever i put a policeman on hold once he knew he was on hold but listening back to the call afterwards he was discussing the merits of the vending machine and how wagon wheels a biscuit covered in marshmallow and chocolate had got smaller over the years and so had curly wurlies all while they were booking in a guy they had just arrested i think the chap i was listening to made someone go to the vending machine to get a wagon wheel to measure it not that he would have had one from the 1980s to compare it to the wagon wheel thing is true my aunt used to be able to fit an entire one in her mouth as her party piece now she complains it's not even a challenge sorry the situation isn't exactly as the title asks but reading these stories reminded me of a funny thing that would happen every month or so at this massive warehouse i worked in the warehouse was ridiculous over half a million square feet of space 50 plus guys picking orders lots of traffic there were phones at the ends of the aisles primarily for calling in injuries or paging maintenance guys etc the phones could be used to page the entire building and it was impossible to know which phone was making the announcement every now and then you'd hear the beep of the pa coming on then a minute or so of p being played off someone's ipad i remember another time when some of the [ __ ] ceos were doing a walkthrough someone put on the imperial march the scene you described sounds freaking hilarious i imagine a bunch of guys just running around like monsters inc style doing various tasks that look like nothing if you followed them long enough and constantly trying to one-up the best thing you can speak a phone in since anonymity is on your side not even on mute the first thing the customer said after my intro was one to hear a dirty joke how do you find the blind guy at a nude beach it's not hard but sir how can i help you with your office supply question i have never heard that joke i will use it one sometime especially when i have office supply questions working tech support for a major multinational investment bank there was an email outage the real techs were working on the caller who was british for the record was very polite when i explained the situation and thought he'd hung up before turning to his co-worker and saying freaking c don't know what's wrong who was british for the record this is an important piece of information in great britain the phrase freaking c is a term of endearment i work for a company that registers domain names normally changing information on the account is pretty simple with account passwords and such but if you claim that you forgot all your crap we resort to scanned photo ids and paper bills a guy calls in telling us that he had faxed info for a rather valuable domain name i put him on mute as to get my super to check the fax machine so i can continue to process him and he starts telling someone else in the room his boss will pay for firing him i tell the guy we need to call him back and contact the company in question talk to the boss and sort everything out tl dr guy tried to hijack valuable domain name brags to accomplish while on mute blows operation possible jail time too from what i have heard from legal makes me wonder what domain that was not entirely related but i work for atm t a woman called in asking why is my bill three thousand dollars i went into her bill and she had two thousand eight hundred dollars in bbwp subscriptions on her husband's line i explained it to her and which line it was on and proceeded to listen to her marriage fail bro i don't have anything against p but i do have something against blowing almost three dollars k on it i'm a little late to the fun and this isn't quite what was asked but i once dropped the f-bomb on a call thinking it was muted when i worked internet tech support i couldn't for the life of me figure out the issue don't actually remember what it was just remember it was one of those this makes no sense moments i muted the guy for a second and out loud said what the frick turns out i hadn't actually muted him his response was tell me about it this has actually happened to me while on the phone with a representative working on an issue for me it's actually refreshing to hear that kind of thing at least to me it is because it shows that i'm not an idiot who is incapable of resolving my own issues and it's nice to hear real emotion from you call center people i work for nintendo tech support put a bro dude on hold while looking up his serial know for his wee he nonchalantly says to his gf this wee remote is red babe let me play tennis with your over is great call the sad part is that i'm sure there is a program specifically designed to control the vibration function on the way i mode just hook it up via bluetooth and buzz away not a phone rip but a customer guilty of this i was on the phone with my cable company and was sure the voice i was talking to was pre-recorded only had yes no answers to give up until that point the voice said please hold while i access your account or something like that since i was on hold with a potential robot i was laughing with my roommate about how weird this pre-recordings voice sounded eventually he was all sorry i'm a real person and i was mortified i told him i was sorry i thought he was a weird sounding robot he said it was okay he sometimes pretends to be a robot because his job is boring and he's tired and it's the end of the day i complimented him on his robot skills i was so thankful he had a sense of humor and i felt awful for some time after that plot twist he was a robot but didn't know it sometimes if i'm on a call with a machine i'll ask if androids dream of electric sheep great book read it i pray that one day one of them says yes i work for a pharmacy company that supplies medication to nursing homes i had a nurse explicitly describe having sexual relations with another nurse presumably both female from the names in their van for the nursing facility they presumed i did not speak tagalog they were wrong please tell me you said goodbye and tagalog when i was still in college i worked for my school calling alumni for donations i had a guy get really angry at me one time and asked to talk to my supervisor so i put him on hold shortly and then transferred it to my manager's office where he put it on speaker for us we took him off hold to find him in the middle of a terrible anti-semitic rant that went on for at least 10 minutes about how the jews had taken over the school and were using it as a front to fundraise for the israeli lobby in congress and how we were all being brainwashed into being zionists dang that's an elaborate conspiracy theory i had an older lady totally forget that i was on the phone at all while i was remotely resetting her cable box i used to just tell them i'm going to step away from my desk for a drink of water while the box resets since it takes about five minutes to do anything even though sometimes i just sit there on mute until i got a response back from the cable box again she started having a conversation with her husband and asked what he wanted on his sandwich she took the phone with her into the kitchen started making a sandwich and left the phone in the kitchen i guess i tried calling out her name but she must not have had me on speakerphone so she just started arguing with her husband saying you told me you wanted mayonnaise on your sandwich they argued for a bit and she made him a new sandwich without mayonnaise this seemed to satisfy him and the arguing stopped but she never came back to the phone i tried calling her back but i guess it was an older phone that didn't automatically disconnect the line when one party hangs up so i got a busy signal or a darker possibility she put mayonnaise on his sandwich one too many times i always act like i don't think they can hear me then i say flattering things about the person i'm speaking to and how i am sure they can help me after dealing with the last several idiots half the time i'm sure they can't hear me but the other half i get much better service when the person comes back brilliant if they do hear you they will feel extra compelled not to let you down so your problem might get fixed faster or maybe even a discount on your bill you are a genius i often hear the kids of customers that work from home getting into all sorts of mischief it's usually the lack of the child being present that makes the customer worried and they go on to discover the huge mess the kid made in the other room agreed of it quiet something's up where i work we use a computer based phone system called bria for some reason placing people on hold is freaked up so instead of hold we just mute our end of the line and we can hear the customer i muted one guy once and he starts yelling aw crap we got them cookies checked her expiration date on dem cookers a w crap day good yo bring dem cook is right her son i was dying from laughing doubled over my desk my co-workers thought i was nuts this reminds me of get the water in worked phones for low-level tech support at my university while in college mostly helping people set up emails and making tickets for faculty staff i loved the mute button more than the hold button so i heard a lot of interesting conversations for those who don't know the hold button played music the mute button just muted my mic and i could still hear everything on the other end the faculty and staff would be pretty boring they were still in an office mostly lunch plans and conversations that sounded like office gossip that i wasn't interested in but the students at home especially new students setting up their accounts for the first time a lot of times with their parents random arguments about whether or not they were doing the right thing by calling you'd be surprised how many people get anxious about calling for help the two that stick out the most the sun calls to get help setting up his account before he comes for orientation mom and son argue while they are on hold about whether or not a degree in video game design is a useful path and how he is wasting his life and money that was the awkwardest conversation i've ever interrupted the girl who was in my statistics class and sat two rows in front of me who when on hold decided to bust out her elvis impersonation not once not twice but all three times that i put her on hold i was trying to come up with an excuse to put her on hold a fourth time just for my own amusement but i couldn't think on my feet fast enough please tell me you ended the call with an elvis like thank you very much i work stock and customer service for tech support now this wasn't a customer but we had a district call with all of our employees on it and one of the guys forgot to put his phone on mutant started cussing about his wife calling her a bam drw and said who the frick she think i am obama i can't support her lazy but not working and then he went on to talk crap about our dm who was on the caller at which point she piped in do you guys know your phone's not muted guy went silent and we never heard from him again at another point in my career i put a gentleman on hold while i check to see if we had a battery for his phone we could send him his buddy could be heard in the background all they both talked about was my accent and what i would sound like with his dong in my mouth i handed the phone off to a male employee at that point i was done nope you are so the male employee got on the line with his deep charo mexicano accent and told the guy we had one and he'd have to pay by cc you guy asked what happened to me he said i didn't like the prospect of foreign objects in my mouth dude hung up and never called again guy and his wife wife asks him if he has a pen guy says in the most excitable voice i've ever heard from a full-grown man no but i have a crayon and a wall hahahaha i'm glad to hear harold is doing well after he grew up customer must have been on a headset had the guy on mute heard a door open creek heard his footsteps begin to echo more than they had before the door opened i began to think no this couldn't be heard him grunt then heard the stream into the toilet then the flush at that point i put my headset on my desk and my manager couldn't get me to stop laughing had to have another tech finish the call with him because i knew that i wouldn't be able to do anything but laugh till being on mute doesn't matter also i'm definitely guilty of this one on multiple occasions i've taken a dump while on mute before i had no idea you could hear me sorry late to party but best story i was ever part of working tech support neighbor rep has a long call with [ __ ] customer over two hours rep puts customer on mute mrs mute button and under his breath size oh just frick off customer hears excuse me without missing a beat the rep says did you hear that too sir i think our lines have been crossed please hold while i reconnect us one of the best saves i've ever witnessed i once had a policeman on mute while doing a rate plan analysis for his account he was apparently on duty which i didn't realize until i heard sirens then the following conversation cop stop the car stop the car then a female's voice sounding completely wasted you want me to stop cop yes i told you to stop drunk woman okay what's going on cop license and registration please drunk woman fumbling noises here you go cop what is this i need your driver's license drunk woman you need what cop your driver's license drunk woman you mean something with my picture on it unfortunately the cop hung up about this time i really wanted to continue to listen it was my first day as a loan officer and i wasn't able to get this public school teacher prequalified for a loan she had millions in assets according to her but her bank balance showed a negative amount she went on and claimed she patented reverse osmosis designed buildings in dubai and doctor a pepper was her idea but it is stolen from her she wasn't done there she could buy and sell my foreign butt if she wanted him american to top it off she kept calling and harassing me after the initial call with lines like just because i got bad credit you all won't give me a math african loan just because i ain't got money you're going to deny me i will have have your best kassim my name is nothing like cassine princess diana's assistant was my friend and she will give me your job yeah she was a public school teacher she deserves to be institutionalized don't lie to us cassine we know you just didn't want to help her because she ain't got no money [Music] i used to work in the call center for a hospital network one time a guy called because he wanted his girlfriend to come in for a pregnancy test this was a pretty normal phone call but the particular location he wanted to go to had some goofy medicaid restriction because they had a new nurse practitioner i needed to ask one of my co-workers if i could schedule her for an appointment but since it was only going to take a second i just put the phone on mute instead of putting it on hold that's when i heard the man say hey the doctors put me on hold come over here and suck a dong the woman playfully responded or not while you're on the phone with the doctor all i want is a little head he ain't gonna know well okay and for the rest of the call he was very unfocused and anytime he asked her a question her answer was grumbled and short it was a weird call i've got more stories if there's interest interest the 18th of february 2001 i too worked that crappy job so many of you did as a beggar for alumni donations in my college my junior year a number auto dialed and as the screen pops up with the info i ask for the gentleman of the house as his lovely wife had answered as i am waiting not technically on hold i hear crying yes adult man cries the man gets on the phone and i start my spiel and i hear sniffles and then do you know what just happened how dare you call here at a time like this i'm thinking oh snap was there an assassination did the pope die nope the man proceeds to tell me dale earnhardt just died in a race and only the devil would call and beg for money at a time like this yes so the job states i'm not allowed to hang up on an alumni ever for any reason so i sit and listen to what seemed like a never-ending rand cry on the death of the intimidator and this guy was angry at me for calling after which he proceeds to hang up on me you can possibly guess i went to college in nc comma that lady needs to get her poop in a group she was complaining to a friend about some problems she was having with one of my co-workers i had never heard that phrase before made me chuckle that's an awesome way to tell someone to get their crap together not said but once when i remoted into a ladies pc the little search window in the top right of firefox and ie still had writing in it because people forget that your last search stays up there it read wise of alcoholics i was made very sad it just after michael jackson died i was doing tech support and billing for comcast tv i preferred internet support and this woman from philadelphia called in being all p off because her cable was out i checked into it and there was an outage we'd already become aware of it according to her though her cable was out because comcast don't want black people to know michael jackson dead i also had another old guy who went on at me for an hour about being in the vietnam war an hour our aht was supposed to be around 7.5 minutes he seemed like a very nice old guy and just needed someone to talk to turned out he was trying to gain my sympathy after an hour of that he just suddenly goes i want a month of free service because my cable was out for a few hours yesterday i told him it wasn't possible but he could have a day credited back to his bill and he lost it he screamed at me for another 20 minutes i was quite happy that immediately following that call they asked me if i wanted to go back to internet repair comcast don't want black people to know michael jackson dead it's going to be a while before i get tired of saying this out loud yeah i'm on the phone with this guy he is gonna try to put me on a plan for my credit card now go wash that pee like i told you to and i'll be in to eat it in a few minutes he might have been at a chinese food market on the topic of call centers whenever i speak to somebody in customer services at a big company i'll often receive one of those rate your experience emails a couple of days later where your opinion is sought on how helpful the attendant was etc i always like to write a paragraph slathered in praise in the comment section the most politest helpful person i have ever dealt with please promote her immediately if he was a pancake he would be a very nice pancake sublime service please treat him to a cookie or two and bill the amount to my debit card hopefully it raises a smile or two and the folks responsible get a hearty well done or a pat on the back from their managers lots of peeing so much peeing also lots of drive-through orders screaming parents are another norm the most troubling are when it's a soldier overseas calling and all you hear is a hurried oh crap i have to go before the call cuts out those are usually the ones where i have to get up from my desk for a while afterwards tl dr during a tech support call i was responsible for making an older gentleman have a heart attack and had to call emergency services for him long read years ago i was working in a call center as an advanced level technical support rep for a hard drive company older gentleman calls in and indicates that while his computer is recognizing his external hard drive he called it his backup hard drive he can't see any of his data on the drive shows as unformatted raw over the course of an hour-long call i have him run several utilities to test the drive and ask him several questions about usage and unplug behavior over this hour he tells me that he's got irreplaceable pictures and movies back up lol on this drive and becomes more and more agitated i can hear the stress in his voice i ultimately come to the conclusion that the partition on the drive was damaged most likely due to improperly unplugging the drive without dismounting the data is most likely intact but would need to be recovered by data recovery software company read dollar sign dollar sign dollar signed dollar signed dollar sign dollar sign i tell the customer customer i have good news and bad news the good news is that that physically there's nothing wrong with the drive and it can be made to work again the bad news is that it looks like the partition on the drive is damaged and the data at this time is unreachable without using data recovery methods his breathing immediately becomes labored and he says oh my god i can't believe this and then he kept on repeating oh my god several times the whole time moaning and breathing hard i asked him if he was okay and he dropped the bomb off i think i'm having a heart attack at this point i'm freaking out and get my manager's attention through i am and tell him that this guy's having a heart attack on the phone i ask the customer if there's anyone with him and he says no i then tell him to stay on the line and i will call emergency services for him i jump over to a separate line and call nine one one tell them about the situation and give them the customers information and address i switch between both lines every 30 seconds or so until emergency responders arrive took about 11 minutes as the customer lived in a sparsely populated area of connecticut the customer was conscious the entire time and told me when the emergency responders arrived i actually said good luck before i hung up with him fml follow-up i called the customer a week later to check on his condition and he was doing fine and in fair health i learned that this was his second heart attack i talked with our customer service manager and we decided that we would pick up the tab for data recovery on his drive moral of the story backup means copy in another location not move to another location if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Internet Is Fun Studios

Views: 25,137

Keywords: on hold music, on hold, while on hold, what people say, funniest stories, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to

Id: nSw71KHVDo4

Length: 24min 45sec (1485 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 11 2021