People Whose Life Was Spared At The Cost Of Someone Else's, What's Your Story? (AskReddit)

people who have had their life spared at the cost of someone else's how do you feel about your life now when in the military our lived because my best friend died I watched him die in the gasoline fire that followed an ie D explosion on our vehicle my gear was stuck on a piece of metal that had lodged itself next to me I couldn't get loose and my arm was twisted so hard I thought it was going to break if I moved he was out of the vehicle on the other side when he heard me scream in pain by then the fire was licking my entire right side towards the middle of the vehicle he jumped back in into the fire freed me and pushed me out he then got stuck himself and died inside I lived in pain for a long time I could spend days at his grave not knowing what else to do I hated myself because I thought and to some degree still think that I was supposed to die not him he had a family a kid a wife I didn't he was a better person than I will ever be he was an exemplary service member I wasn't he deserved it all and got nothing instead I got it a troublemaker with much less to live for than him today I tried to honor his memory by living well and living to the fullest I have speed bumps like everyone else but I tried to keep my road ahead of me clear I've sorted my life out I'm happy and accepting of myself and I try to remember that it was his choice he made the decision to save me nobody else he paid the ultimate price and for that I will always respect him and be thankful his family do not blame me even though I wouldn't blame them in return if they did they understand my struggle with it and we do our best to support each other in a way we are closer than we could ever have been due to the circumstances here's my tip to all of you out there don't dwell on what ifs and what could have been make the best of and appreciate what you got instead you can't change the past and you can't predict the future but you can make the most out of all of it if you want to as a child my parents send me for help read my mother shoved me out the front door while they attempted to battle a localized fire in our Christmas tree moments after I left the house there was a flashover in the home and the resulting sudden blaze filled the house with smoke as the neighbors kept me from returning outside fearing the worst I will be forever thankful to those neighbors as they did their best to accommodate a young boy on Christmas morning even wearing his nightshirt with scraped up feet the fire took the life of both of my parents and my little brother survivor's guilt is a very real thing I blamed myself for a very long time but now I have accepted what happened as an accident I try to live each day and make the most of it as I view myself as lucky to be alive it never really leaves you but it gets better my brother died trying to save my life we had went hiking just the two of us on a Prodi day from school I was 11 he was 13 I ended up slipping on some shell and fell off a 30 meters 100 fort cliff my brother tried to climb down to get me but also fell and died at the scene I had so much guilt as a scene he was the more popular child I felt like out of the two of us I should have been the one to go now many years later I get sucked into internal monologues where I wonder how my life would be if the accident didn't happen with my brother beer dad married would we still be best friends I have a totally different personality now brain injury and if I had my old one I know I would be on a totally different life plan and I would never have met my soul mate so I have more guilt because if you asked me if I could go back and not fall and all the horrible stuff that came with it I don't know I never would have met my husband and he has made my life amazing I'm forever indebted to my brother for making the sacrifice he made and miss him dearly I hope my future children have a relationship like the one my brother and I had this is just a throwaway account when I was about 7 years old I moved to a ghetto from another ghetto that I grew up in I ended up living with my mom siblings and arms one of the siblings I just met when I moved there because he was my half bro from my dad's side and he was living with my arms he was also in his twenties anyway over the months I was there I got to know my new brother very well I knew he was involved gangs and just doing the wrong things but he always told me to stay away from it he was the only memory model in my life that I could depend on one day I wanted to go to the store to get some food and I asked him to come along with me he said that he was too tired and just wanted to rest I continued to beg him to come until he finally agreed as we are walking back from the store this car pulls up next to us I look over and see three guys get out of the car and are looking at my brother my brother then turns to me and yells at me to run back home I was in shock though so I just stood there he proceeded to shove me and I fell down to the ground he told me once again to just run home so I start running away I'm not sure why I did but I stopped around the corner and was trying to see what was going on when I turned around to see what was happening I saw my brother on his knees and crying I couldn't hear what they were talking about then out of nowhere one of the guys pulls out a gun and just shoots him point-blank I just stood there as I watched them get into the car and drive off while his body is there lifeless without making a single move I didn't know what to do I just remembered that he told me to go home so I did I didn't run over to him I just left that day he saved my life at the cost of his I blamed myself for a long time I kept on thinking to myself why did I make him come with me to get food I just couldn't get over the fact that it was my fault I still kind of do blame myself but I know I shouldn't it could have happened and day when I wasn't with him that I was with him so I blamed myself I will never forget what he said to me Amba turds don't you ever get involved with the wrong people go make something of yourself your mom is a smart woman and I know it will rub off on you I ruined my life so there's nothing I can do now but you still have a chance go to school and make an honest living I love you and I will always do anything to keep you and your family safe please take this advice and use it I did take his advice I worked so hard so I would never have to go back to the ghettos again I'm currently working on my masters with an awesome job that pays well and I'm able to take care of my family because of it I think about him almost every day I use that to drive me to make something better for my family and myself I never take anything for granted because every day is worth living just know that there is always someone out there that once / needs you to be alive I miss him in Afghanistan I was trying to spot a Taliban machine gun position when my best friend taught me and sent me to check our VHF collection system with our interpreter to see if any other Taliban were coming to take shots at us my buddy took my vantage point and less than a minute later was hit by one of several RPG s fired at us six years later and I still think about him every day visit his grave when I can and plan on naming my first kid after him permitting it's a boy oh yeah this directly applies to me I'm 15 and had a heart transplant when I was about six months old the heart was from a three-year-old who got in a car crash with his parents he died but his heart was still perfectly intact I was on the waiting list for about one week and then I got the transplant all I can say is I'm extremely fucking grateful and I just feel like I'm Way I too lucky I'm the youngest of seven I'm the only one alive today my mother had a series of miscarriages and stillbirths when her and my father were trying to start a family every attempt ended with a frail and fragile baby that was too weak to survive out of the womb I was the last attempt as doctors warned my mom that her reproductive system has been damaged by the earlier attempts I was at whim he came out first but did not survive birth as he was deformed and sick we came out premature at six months I came out frail as but I survived I was raised with so much love from my parents but they never told me how I was the only survivor I learned of this after overhearing a conversation my mom was having with my arms since then I have honor their memory but at the same time I think of how if any of the earlier attempts had succeeded I probably would not have been born back in grade 7 during spring break I took a trip with my best friend to Tel Aviv because his uncle was getting married we were rounding out the trip one night walking back to his family's house he ended up telling me that he would be moving when the school year was over due to his father's job and we'd probably never see each other again I got so angry I yelled at him calling him a jerk and insulting one of the only friendships I've ever had as a kid I remember tire screeching and then my friend grabbed me by my collar and pushed me to the ground there was a drive by my friend the one friend I made during middle school spared the life of a so called friend who was berating him at that moment to fully automatic rifles later and the front of the house was shot up I was hysterical and grandfather came out of the house to see me on the ground over his lifeless body when I tried talking about this to my counselors at school but they were more sympathetic than empathetic and gave me the entire at least you're alive spiel I hated myself more and more every time they said that there was no reason for me to be alive if it was at the cost of my friend's life I couldn't luck my friend's father in his face and tell him he died saving my life I shall turd myself from making friendships for almost a decade because I was afraid something like that would happen again I know it sounds ridiculous but I had so many triggers in my rage during the moment just felt like it added up to something it's been about nine years now and I can say that I'm able to speak about this to people just recently it's been a very emotional part of my life I usually tend to reserved it for really close friends as something like that isn't something you drop in during casual conversation with strangers I still suffer from survivor's guilt and PTSD a of things our triggers anything resembling gunshots is still pretty bad and from a development perspective I'm scared to stand up for what I believe in because I associated with that event I believe that I'm on a track to recovery because that event is just that an event it may be a significant one but it doesn't define me who I am and what I'm capable of okay so this happened about three years ago my girlfriend and I were enjoying a night out no special occasion or anything just a regular date night we had been together two years at the time so we were walking around downtown had a great night and I didn't really want to go back to the car yet my girlfriend just wanted to go home but I eventually convinced her to walk around with me and explore the city a bit I really don't know what I was thinking I just felt adventurous at night and wanted to see something I hadn't before I don't think I even need to tell you that a skinny white guy from the suburbs walking around with an equally skinny girl make tempting targets we were walking joking both of us were enjoying ourselves exploring any abandoned buildings we came across then as we were walking we happened across some junkie who was hopped on meth or something he demands off and slash wallets I planned on cooperating because I had no gun on me and no interest to put myself or her in danger for a few hundred bucks worth of stuff I really don't know what happened next I was really nervous and maybe I reached for my wallet too fast for his liking or he thought I had a gun or something either way the same thing happened he lunged at me I likely would have died but my girlfriend threw herself between us without thinking he stabbed her 12 times while all I could really do was watch I didn't even try to stop him I was just completely frozen she took immediate action to save my life and I couldn't even move a muscle to help save hers once he was done he turned to me and I just bolted and was able to escape it hurts just writing that out because I hate myself so much and feel so much shame for how I acted that night I was such a fucking coward and the love of my life died because of it she was such a better person than I'll ever be beautiful brave smart caring and now she's dead while I'm still alive for what I don't even know I still think about it almost every night the only thing that has prevented me from killing myself is knowing that if I do she will have died for nothing I wish I could have died in her place if I had actually taken action maybe we both would have still been alive but I didn't so the better person died and I'll never see her again I've been trying to live my life for others as much as possible to make up for that day but it has been so damn hard at this point I'm just trying to be a man she would be proud of and to make sure her sacrifice was worth it

Channel: ToadFilms

Views: 154,425

Rating: 4.8214784 out of 5

Keywords: life, people's life, spared, spared life, saved life, cost, cost of someone ele's, someone else's, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms, pewdiepie

Id: MzexcgtDKgw

Length: 13min 55sec (835 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 15 2019