Pam Ayres - They Should Have Asked My Husband

this is the poem I wrote because I'm of an age when I lot of my friends husbands are retiring now and I observe that for some of the couples this is a tremendous and exciting success but for others it takes a bit more getting used to particularly if it is a man of firm opinions so it's partly about that but it's mostly just about the person we all know who knows it all and it doesn't matter what your little modest opinion might be he is going to overwhelm it with his enormous ly important opinion and I just like to make it perfectly clear of course that it's nothing to do with any member of my own family you believe me don't you yes that's all right then anyway this is it you know this world is complicated and imperfect and oppressed and it's not hard to feel timid apprehensive and depressed it seems that all around us tides of questions airband flow and people want solutions but they don't know where to go opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right no people need a prophet a diffuser of the light someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl someone with the remedy the wisdom the pearl well they should have asked my husband no he'd have told him then and there his thoughts on immigration teenage mothers Tony Blair the future of the monarchy house prices in the south the wait for hip replacements BSE and foot-and-mouth no they should have asked my husband he can sort out any mess he can rejuvenate the railways he can cure the NHS so any little nickel anything you want to know just run it past my husband wind him up and let him go say congestion on the motorways free holidays for folks the damage to the ozone layer refugees drugs these may defeat the brain of any politician bloke but present it to my husband he will solve it at a stroke he'll clarify the situation he will make it crystal clear you'll feel the glazing of your eyeballs and the bending of your ear corruption at the top is an authority on that and the Mafia Gaddafi and Yasser Arafat upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine in a great compelling voice that's twice as loud as yours or mine I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong infallible articulate self-confident and wrong when it comes to tolerance he hasn't got a lot joyriders should be guillotine Dan muggers should be shocked the sound of his own voice becomes like music to his ears and he hasn't got an inkling that he's boring us to tears oh it's relentless it's unstoppable the hunting ban was grim I fantasize at night about the hounds pursuing in one thing and one thing only caused a smile his face to crack at last we beat Australia we got the ashes back my friends don't call so often they have busy lives I know but it's not every day you want to hear a windbag Serkan blow and cyclopædia x' on them we never have to call why clutter up the bookshelf when my husband

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Views: 1,598,668

Rating: 4.8557162 out of 5

Keywords: Pam, Ayres, They, Should, Have, Asked, My, Husband

Id: Y4oydSZTAns

Length: 5min 47sec (347 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 10 2010