Over THREE HOURS THREE STOOGES MARATHON! - CURLY and SHEMP!

[Music] n goodbye Jimmy my baby [Music] what's the matter what happened it's bad enough you snore like a train but when you start crying like a baby that's too much I didn't it's that Tom Cat again come on boys get the shoes where's that cat I'll Mur it kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty what do you know a baby a lovely baby isn't he cute gee I wonder if I look like that when I was delivered by the stalk when you were born you were delivered by a buzzard oh special delivery eh well boys looks like we're a father please take Jimmy to your heart and give him a good home he's yours a brokenhearted mother H what a cute little kisser watch me make him laugh Z Bo a you don't know how to make a baby laugh watch [Music] this wait a minute I'll show you how to make a baby stop C he's a Japanese a b man and a Japanese what am I saying PO on the Japanese look honey look kids kids unhappy so am I that [Laughter] cry [Music] hello Jimmy nice babyy what's the idea quiet you want to wake the kid up well I forgot I'm one3 of a father yeah let's see how he's doing well say he's going to wake up hungry better give him something to eat good idea get your clothes on come on hey what do kids eat what do kids eat that's easy Soft Stuff no bones no potato chips what' you eat when you were a baby weeds I got it why don't we fix him a full course banquet and let him take his pick for once you're showing a slight trace of brains hop down to the market and buy the works right don't forget the dill pickles and a high chair I can't get over it me a parent how do you like now let me see a dash of process the Shyer sauce dash dash some onion juice oh double Crosser a nazzy onion e hey I got the cheese all right get it in here oh oh These Mar straps are danger oh hey fellas have I got food for the baby look at this celery and radishes a chokes Herring Limburger bicarbonate beer oh and I got nipples they just fit I tried them see [Music] what what's the idea [Music] all come over here get this shy cleaned up come on you clean up the table and do it quick right get that celery cleaned hurry up the matter with you go on get that Cy clean oh take that celery and scrub it go on go on go on scrub the cery how do you like that guy hey what are you going to do play around all day you guys the baby light will wake up any minute okay it's a fine way to waste flour it's a matter with you I couldn't help it take care the kid he wants room service right I was born in Brazil and they grew on a tree when they shook the tree then I fell down then they put me in a bag and they fastened on a tag and they Shi me up to New York town hey grapehead that's no way to clean celery no no hey Mo no yeah I'll fix that clean this table off here cut that right down there hold that I'll search for some safety pins oh oh why you inide you I'm sorry give me that what's this the Eternal triangle what size I don't know maybe six and seven eight we'll need a model yeah you're just a type get up there not me come on oh oh down here get the pinch get up here head down it's going look out you're choking me yeah okay there we are perfect 36 all right get it off come on Jimmy here we go boy there we go there we are hey where are you here here oh there you are boys all we need is a few slight alterations stand by doc scissors scissors pin pin scissors pin pin pin pin pin pin pin pin pin pin pin pen pin scissors scissors pin pin pin pin scissors scissors pen [Music] pen wait till you see the meal we have for you fit for a king even better fit for an airplane [Music] worker come on there we are there's enchiladas spaghetti okes onion celery olives radishes pig feet and Herring come on get gone there we are ready a nut look a nice radish K on nice maners you're teaching him get out now you're getting your vitamins starch vegetables hypochondriacs try an olive oh wise guy maybe he'd like a smarty Coke a potty smoke a oky do this fether apple you're a choke you too hey yeah Sunny fool around with that for a while while he fills up the cavity I think I'll read the Scandal sheet come on eat it like this H I'd like to meet the guy that invented these Bob wire pineapples oh [Music] quiet [Music] oh he don't like yachty choke here give him some spaghetti okay there there some spaghetti for you and don't get tough hey fellas get a Lo of these headlines please C City for kidnapped baby oh that's nothing kids always get into Mischief now when I was a kid I kidnapped who what when let me see there police Fair kidnappers have grabed Collins baby and are holding it for ransom so far the kidnappers have not contacted the family fellas do you think that's it sure the kidnappers got cold feet and left us with a kid with a phony note and we fell for it oh he don't like spaghetti either [Music] hey bunion head answer that door give the kid back his spaghetti what are you going to do eat it yourself no you eat it how do you like it what hey fellas it's the cop they're after us for kidnapping we got to hide the evidence come on honey oh let me see now the window scram now go and find your [Music] baby okay come on the baby disappeared that's exactly what we're going to do come on there they go well come on I don't see him any place maybe they went down that dirt road there well you go down there and look and I'll follow the highway if I don't see him I'll come back all right shh quiet I hear a motorcycle [Applause] hold it hold it I hear the other one coming where are they how do I know how do you expect me to see through the C quiet see there must be pigeons in this car yeah it's the baby it's in the car yeah now we're in for it everything will be all right as long as the kid keeps quiet I'll cut a hole in the canvas and see where the cops are good idea and if you see them let me know the [Music] baby M hm hey there's somebody out here honing us horn yeah jya don't [Music] get let's get those guys all right spread out I got a signal for a turn [Music] oh get your gun they may be violent stick them up stick them up bab my baby darling my baby I'm sorry we quarrel last night me too I was so despondent that's why I left Jimmy on that doorstep well don't worry it won't happen again no so what do you suppose became of those three Goofs you got me they still don't know that all we wanted was was a baby [Music] yeah good night children now be good little boys and go right to sleep not till you tell us a bedtime story okay okay once upon a time there was a lion was it a big lion Daddy yeah it was 50 ft from tailor head 50 ft from head to tail 100 ft all together it was a dandelion oh no fly tell us about Brave Knights Uncle Mo no kns tell us a scary one about ghosts no kns and no ghosts tell us one with a lot of killings and a lot of murders in it so we can sleep real good I want nights no nights ghost oh killing some MERS I want quiet all right we'll tell you one with knights ghosts and murdery goody Once Upon a Time your daddies and I were in the trucking and moving business well one night we were sent to a spooky old castle to pick up some antiques it was raining cats and dogs and the wind was [Music] [Applause] [Music] howling so this is SM as blood test light some candles K come on I'm coming this joint gives me the creeps uh-oh hey Chef come on all right how do you like that it's stuck quit stall them all your horses what are you stalling about you know we got fiture to move I can't help if my umbrella will close you're just a dumbbell give it to me I'll close it [Laughter] cut out the clowning we got work to do sooner we get out of this spooky joint the better I'll like [Applause] [Applause] it oh what was that why that was why that was the creaky door hello everybody this is Desmond of the outer sorum strange things will happen in this mysterious Castle who could get along without a nice bloody murder H yes there will be strange [Laughter] happenings oh what happened strange happenings that's strange come on oh oh oh oh W I hate this Castle people said it was haunted ah go on there's no such thing as haunted houses and Spooks that was just a coincidence who's this belong [Music] to ah what happened just a coincidence tellas let's get [Applause] started well say thank you what are you thanking me for I wasn't thanking you for anything and why were you thanking me I say a word but I did why don't you say so when I first asked you oh I didn't say anything one of us is nuts and it can't be you right keep your big mouth shut just a minute people have a right to talk you know oh a wise guy eh let him alone now listen we got to get busy you help me get the table over to the truck you take the armor come on please don't take me away I beg of you put me down I beseech [Applause] you how do you like that lazy find time to take a nap get up out of here look Mo look mo mo I'm telling you never mind go on help Larry I'll take the armor wh thank you you are a gentleman oh think nothing of it I that's funny for a minute I thought that armor spoke to me I did hey F that suit of armor it's haunted it just spoke to me it spoke to me too ah you're goofy honest Larry just spoke to me yeah ah you Freddy cats I'll take care of [Music] this I'm talking if you got something to say say it now before I dump you in a truck you guys must be dreaming or maybe you don't talk English P we we miss SP he Irish man oh you see he don't talk [Applause] English hey fellas take it easy we'll get you out of there hurry up hey are you okay yeah wait a minute you're right that armor is haunted it just spoke to me too hey it can't be possible things like this just don't happen shim I think you better go get the armor Mo I think you better go get the armor wait a minute I think we all better go get the armor Let's Not Be Afraid come on go ahead have no fear gentlemen I am a friendly Spirit come closer it's empty oh there goes my quarter wait a minute right boy you're really a friendly spirit give what did you say your name was I am the spirit of Sir Tom the brave knight unscrupulous antique dealers want to sell my armor don't let them do it hey Spirits can't talk how come you're talking oh I am aive spirit that does it go out to the truck and get that bottle I got to have a drink me too me three make it four I still think I'm Dreaming see if I'm [Music] awake you're awake yes but you won't be for long come here don't your right oh oh oh spit out you guys to got the bottle oh boy stop pouring okay down the hatchet huray why don't you watch your manners hey cut it out now this is all very well Tom but we got orders to move all the junk out of here including you gentlemen I warn you if you take me bad luck will pursue you heed my warning somebody's playing jokes on us this ain't possible yeah you get the rest of the stuff I'll take this tin can out there's the uh oh uh-oh bad luck is beginning to start oh oh Fiddlesticks I'm fed up with Spooks so am I come on let's get this junk out of here come on go ahead I got to get my hat go ahead hey sh come on hold your horses will you oh oh oh tricks eh wise die you can make this hat jump till doomsday but you won't frighten me again I'm through being scared of your phony spooky business why go oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh what's wrong with you now that bad luck was down my back biting me it was scratching me to death six Lions would tearing me apart bit by bit six Lions qu Lyon you're only stallen go on get busy go ahead we'll take this chest for get on it wait a minute it's too heavy we'll have to take a peace meal you guys take the junk off the top and I'll take the drawers hurry up greetings Jam I said greetings that is Who Who Are You me I'm red oh red still boy am I glad he's gone I will don't be afraid now boys but let's get out of [Applause] here wait a minute fellas that Spirit locked us in hold it I'll bust that door down stand aside Mo say a few say something okay I'm all right what we need is a hotter head I think you got something there let's go right he he oh wait a minute fellas I think it's crack what the door no my head listen fellas I want to get out of here let's try that door [Applause] [Music] M you oh chy what sh poid F get him here you'll be all right hey Mo get up here Hur up what happened he fainted and that thing nearly tore his head off how do you like that it's a fake look fellas let's stop dreaming let's quit acting like babies will you come on let's get busy the first thing goes on the truck is the armor sir oh no you won't take me I'll fix you no Tom now wait why you tin can I'm going to s pie yeah no I'm sorry well that's your story now go to sleep but what happened after that Daddy he chopped our heads off that's not a good story we want a better one yeah we want a better one we want a story to put us to sleep we want story to put us to sleep [Applause] it's not [Music] Daddy [Music] [Applause] [Music] la [Music] [Applause] [Music] a what are you waking me up for something hit me in the head is there a bullet hole there no bullets going through that skull hey what's eating Miser I can't sleep lay down or I'll put you to sleep come on what's the matter you nuts get I saw it again I'll you I tell you I'll Hy down you guys you're supp well a whole War for me what of it nothing I was just saying then go back to sleep and keep quiet that's great news major yes sir yes sir Sease firing the war is over the war is over oh boy huray the war is over well I'll be come come rad come rad oh it's only you Sai so you're still yellow not me I'm in the pink oh who whoa whoa now you're in the black oh f up those guns you blooming idiots we can enjoy this war if it wasn't for you yeah well it's too late now the war is over they call it off France get out of here I'll give you a wack I'll knock your friend oh oh my arm it all right all right you mug never mind him we're going home whoopy hooray home y lafette we have come hi ass thanks pal for what for this and this and this thanking me for beating you up sure they decorated of this they thought we were wounded in action look say this disch charge means we're through don't it yeah and we don't have to take any more orders from you that's right so what that's all we wanted to know no hard feelings is there s Nah Get get it up I'll let you out in a minute for this ah SGI break arms eh peeling potatoes eh step aside washing the floors ehy blacking people's eyes eh oh tough guy [Music] huh [Applause] so s to Res I'll get him with you for this attention I'm about Face Time Marches On boom look oh boy look at this look at this some people have all of luck boy could I tear that chicken to smithin ouch [Applause] how do you like that hey he hey you guys hey i' a good motion of right oh you thought you'd get away huh oh a face sler a I ought to have you all arrested for two cents I put you right in the face well here's the two cents well I raised my price oh listen Mister we don't mean any harm we're hungry hungry you know where we can get a job why you've got your I'm sorry I lost my temper go in the building boys up to room 310 and ask for Berke they're looking for men just say you want to sign up oh you're a regular fell after all and if you want to you can smack me again oh my go he did [Laughter] it see the mark So on so on is this room 310 sure come right in take a rers take off your hat a man downstairs said you can use a men you want to sign up Sly what do you think we're here for sign right here it's a pleasure oh a job at last what are you going to do with all the money hey I think there's something scy going on around here every time you think you're weak in the nation sign but but but but but but go on sign I'll crack your head up go on go on take these over to P Stinger you mean those papers we signed would have join the army of course you're in the Army now oh no wait [Applause] quit well as I live I'm seeing things three of them boys you remember Sergeant millu yeah his mother and my mother are both mothers now they helped us win the war s take these men over to Fort Stinger they're in your charge with pleasure you wanted a job huh yeah what's the matter with you you box cars wasn't good enough for you was it I don't know I'm going to stow away well Stow this away leave him alone will you leave him alone get that up break it up come on boys I kind of forgot myself for a minute medical exam okay thank you sir here we are bosom friends again g serer a pal shut up oh now listen s you're going to let bygones be bygones ain't you sure sure get over with that trough what are you going to do going to give you the detonation test detonation if I got it can I get cured yeah it's a test to see if your eard drums will stand the shooting in the big guns not you know one on me yeah I just thought of it now when I say go duck your heads under that water and hold it for how long I'll tell you when they come up get ready ready go I can't hear oh my ear my wasn't like a be all right come on let's go boy what I can't hear you hear those recruits sir can't hear a thing attention where were you born what where were you born I don't know what he's saying where were you born he says your pants are torn I ain't got any horn no not one corn what corn oh corns I got two on both dogs can you tell me where I get your corn PL shorty I got now where were you born oh born upstairs in the front room fine soldiers for the coast artillery wouldn't know a shell from a boat what he says you smell like a goat oh yeah thanks the same to you remember your place what's wrong with you men we're hungry we ain't eaten in a week oh that's it Sergeant get these men some food yes sir now to continue were you born in this country what were you born in this country no Milwaukee would you fight for this great Republican Republican no I'm a Democrat not me I'm a pedestrian this is all I can find sir see what you can do with these men I give up thr away those Tomatoes thr them away I say and what this is an outrage hi gent hey are if you clean enough of those loving cups you can expect a r in the [Music] [Applause] Army wait a minute where's Larry here I am Tang oh no order number 41g heavy ordinance Gunnery practice crew 67 and 8 in order name will fire on Obsolete radio control Cruiser which will pass Fort at 5,000 yard crew making best record of hits will receive citation and two weeks Le of absence take your CL go to the powder tunnel and bring shells and powder as fast as you can and no slip UPS hurry up yes sir yes sir I understand target practice postponed until arrival of Admiral Hawkins Flagship on inspection Crews dismiss the crew target practice postponed right face P hunt admal Hawkin Flagship is steaming up the bay for Maneuvers sir never know just what [Applause] here we are boys here we are where's the sergeant the gun crew maybe it's between hes hold that oh thanks come on get out of here come on get busy way way you're run my way come on my f oh the first shell went in there then it goes around and around when it goes out there hey fellas look that's the boat we're supposed to use for a Target what will we do Target I don't see no bull's eye on it we'll take the bull by the horns and fire it ourselves come on I know how to [ __ ] a cannon right right right right right right wa minute right everything all right right 40 by 50 range got that easy now gun range okay gun range Okay g range okay hey I wonder what this is I don't know I'll pull it and find out okay who fired that gun I don't know sir come on hurry it went off yeah but you missed the boat reload H the gun on your to by five let to right you're going the wrong way right right you're wrong latitude right you're going the wrong way right around left latitude right right left ready fire I don't know where that one landed but I hope you didn't hit the pool room okay on the L right on the bias ni lateral 65 61 75 65 3 81 21 5 hi ready man 50 60 70 I got 70 hold make get 80 70 I got once twice three times sold for the man with the Curve locks me you booye with that kind of shooting we ought to get 6 months with pay hey hey T oh who fired those shots I did let's get this straight I did and boy was that a shutter was that a shut well you hit the Admiral's flagship why did you hit the adal's flagship why did you hit the adal's flagship I seen my duty and I did it well I see my duty and I'll do it see [Music] thaten your duty hey a he's seen his duty and he done it you're a swell guy sery oh sure now line up there nicely yeah right in a straight line now hold it and look Pleasant I'll be right back hey he what's he going to give us I don't know maybe he's going to take our picture maybe he is at that he now hold [Music] it [Music] uh-huh uh-huh yes yes oh yes yes shamp is not oh shamp is oh oh Miss Jones bring in the Earthly report of my nephew Mr shm shamp there seems to be some mixup regarding your eligibility to enter these portals but Uncle Mortimer I is this what you want sir thank [Applause] you sh bad uncle Mortimer I hope you brought your as best a suit with you as best a suit gosh no I wouldn't eat it up here I no no look what did I do that was wrong I wouldn't know having died before you were born but your report shows that you and your cousins Mo and Larry have been pretty bad boys oh well I'll be on my way get me a pitchfork in the red union suit and I'll go wait I'll give you one chance go back to Earth and reform Mo and Larry and you can come back here for good gee thanks I'll reform that Mo Larry if it kills me hey that doesn't make sense I'm already dead you realize that they will not be able to hear you or see you they won't be able to hear me or see me that's great that's perfect file this report Miss Jones until Mr shm returns from his Earthly visit oh by the way my nephew Mr shm my secretary Miss Jones how do you do [Music] Charmed The Heavenly Express found for the Big Dipper the little Dipper Earth Mars Venus camanga anahim All Points South leaving on cloud 49 you'd better hurry or you'll miss your train now the depot was down this way one block and one block to your right gee thanks well goodbye goodbye she says if I leave now that proves I'm dead well goodbye [Music] [Music] listen you old raincloud why don't you look where you're gone I had to ride away what's the idea you think you're in California GE Whiz oh cut it out Uncle moner wait for me etc etc and furthermore whereas I Shimp the stooge being of unsound mind mind to hereby prove it by leaving all my worldly possessions to my cousins Mo and Larry share and [Music] [Laughter] sharite poor Chevy was such a sweet [Music] stinker boys this is all of poor shm's worldly Goods $140 to be divided equally between you poor shampy left us all his money money it's a good thing you hit me with money or I'd resent that quiet we got to divide this dough up fair and square say there seems to be some more in here wait a oh ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow laugh that off 15 25 35 55 75 95 5 10 140 smack that makes 70 bucks for you Larry 1 2 3 4 say at what age did you graduate from grammar school 18 18 19 20 21 22 robber say tell me how old do you have to be to collect your old age pension 65 65 66 67 68 69 70 there we are hey your pile is bigger than mine here's where I start reforming you mister why don't you watch what you're doing what are you talking about you know what we're talking about yeah you blew the money right off the desk I'll divide it this time that's better I think you ji me oh you've been picking on that little guy long long enough it's about time you got to dose of your own medicine oh a wise guy huh I didn't do nothing why you no wait I'll M you hey that's enough of this nonsense pay me my fee I've got a lunch and date oh yes your fee how much is it $150 why shm only left us $1 140 I'll take it are you sure this is all you've got that's the last Red scent Mr fome see any other lawyer would have taken the case for $20 oh is that so that's what I call Easy picking are you telling me well be seen you later chump don't stay in the office too long dirty crook you mind if we breathe a dirty crook well I did it with flat broke you got a dime for coffee say I had some air mail stamps well what do you know I know you're trying to jip me again oh mo I wasn't trying to jip you I thought I had a couple of Mo yeah you took my money didn't you yeah sure my pocket was empty wasn't it sure but what's this hey there's something funny going on around here I got it you know shm said he was coming back to Earth to haunt us H let him come I ain't afraid of that fat head oh oh mo what' you hit me for I didn't touch you that's what I was afraid of shem's here it's him his ghost just hit me oh I ain't afraid of ghost stand aside I'll prove it keep your hands in your pocket sh if you're around here give me a smash on the chin and convince me oh oh oh I'm convinced and how I'm convinced well I'm not shm if it's really you do something else to prove it see he ain't here well things are looking up I say Lord larington oh there you are sir mington Cho pip pip and all that sort of Rod old thing old stuff old fishmonger old skunk bait you don't have to overdo it well we're trying to be elegant ain't we yeah say where's that Butler of ours oh spiffing ham Cheerio sir sir is everything in Readiness yes sir thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you that's enough hey you know I'm worried I hope this little scheme of ours works out it it better after we spent all of shm's inheritance to rent this apartment get these suits and hire that Butler well we had to do something to impress the the Pyers after all we're trying to sell them that phony Fountain p invention of yours for 50 Grand ain't we and how say why would anybody want a fountain pen that wres under the whipped cream well uh a fell can be on the desert where there ain't any water to right under candy yeah I never thought of that I sure hope that the Pyers will be impressed with our Butler mhm if you have a butler after I get through giving him the business [Music] that's funny I'm sure I heard that dough bell ring uh-oh if someone's in here how come I can't see them and if if they ain't in here then this hat and coat's out for a walk by itself Uncle Mortimer let him hear this okay K he who Mar hien oh boy I can hardly wait till we get our hands on that 50 Grand Here's To Success with the deers what's the big idea you did it and you're asking me I Didn't Do It Mo it must be shm he came back to Horn us shm if you're in this room give us a clue will you but no tricks oh no it's him shamp where are you shamp gentlemen does this happen cold blong to either one of you oh no those belong to our dear dead cousin did you say dead yes and if he's dead who give me this hat and coat his Ghost says which oh that must be the deers spiffing ham answer the door no so that might be that ghost it can't be the ghost he's right here in this room maybe alongside to you oh feet why don't you get going yes get going and answer the door I'm going but my heart ain't in it hey hurry up we better clean up come in folks well you look as if you've seen a ghost Mis you don't know the half of it good evening good evening gentlemen see plots we shall return momentarily hey what guess I got rid of him now to see that the thees don't get jipped here is our invention well I'm dying to be the first one to see a fountain pen right under whipped cream indeed so am I now you take the fountain pen and place it in here and put the paper in thusly and pour the cream overall now turn the motor on to low low it must turn slowly otherwise it would overflow now would you care to make out your check for 50,000 now or later Well [Applause] I this is preposterous what next a towel I like to have a power [Music] oh [Music] idiot oh thank you all you and your invention now you look why don't you ah ow oh Uncle morer it's working out I think they'll turn on us help [Music] help I'm BR I'm oh want a piece of pie Mo Larry that guy's dreaming again why don't you hey Larry he's been smoking in bed again get the water in the a put me out with you you braidot turn around around that's it you get some more water okay look at him oh [Applause] oh what a dream you know fellas I just dreamt we invented a fountain pen that writes under whipped cream under Whi there's your whipped cream and there's your fountain pen write yourself a letter dear [Music] m where are they oh where can they be if those three good for nothing loafers don't get back soon we'll be forced to Camp here for the night take it easy now they said they were going to scout around to make sure we're not ambushed by Indians those dumb clucks wouldn't know a red skin from a sun bur why I ever let those three flat-footed broken down hoofers tell me the idea of taking us across the country instead of hiring regular guides I'll never know and if we don't get our show to San Francisco in two months we'll lose our engagement where are those three St baked HS oh I'm sorry B honest I'm sorry that's all right I know you couldn't help it oh ain't he a swell guy say what's the idea sh shut up you want the Indians to hear you yeah I'm sick and tired of looking for Indians let them look for us for a change he's right let them look for us for a change won't you look for one little one for me a little one yeah one with a fat stomach just one yeah okay did you see one yeah come and get it let's go here we are dish it out what's the big idea you said Come and Get It Well you got it and if you don't get this troop to San Francisco you're really going to get it what's the big rush we left Kansas only 5 months ago oh well only 5 months eh well if we're not in San Francisco in time to open up that show I've got to fill your so full of holes that when the wind blows through you you'll whistle like a peanut wagon but you can't do that why not of course we don't belong to the peanut vendors Union oh wait a minute now put away the artillery and let's have some grub I'll make yourselves useful open up some corn beef to the corn beef to the corn be let's have a little kiss huh I get ponia no listen look oh cor be it's a good thing I'm hungry I'd Masher it broke watch out M what's eating you it broke now I can't open it well use the axe oh the axe give him the axe give him the axe give give him the axe the a the ax right in the neck right in the neck right in the neck the neck the neck oh taking me a little eh get over there and get busy and quit necking [Applause] four how do you like that I got the oh cutie pie come here here you realize that was an accident why [Music] certainly well that's that no it isn't for this you're going to stand guard tonight oh no I ain't you ain't I'm still not going to stand guard unless you let me use your new gun oh no you don't why you don't know how to work it oh I certainly do you pick this thing up and down like that pull back this gadget and pull the trigger what oh oh look what you [Applause] did w look at the horses you scared them I couldn't help it they're quiet now well if there are any Indians around they certainly know where to find us listen Shorty I ain't afraid of Indians I once shut a Mars chair from underneath Sitting Bull Sitting Bull so he was standing Indians Indians why there is an Indian for miles around we've searched the the how how how how do you do this property belonged to escaro Indian no pale face allowed we ain't pale where's some point you make him 23 sco if not gone in two Sundowns many Brave come take him scalp you're too late the baraba got mine here quiet adale want me to put a muzzle on you two Sundowns scram he pretty pale face squa like make him whoopy you keep mind on business make them whoopy later not bad Mo let's get out of here I'm scared well there's no use trying to leave now it'll be dark soon all right leave the horses hit in case we have to make a fast get away yeah you'll keep a sharp Lookout I've keep two sharp Lookouts we have met the enemy in the situation as well hand then right about face sight look at the duck the horses look at the horses look at the Ducks and the Ducks the horses they're going stop them what now do do something come on look the Ducks never mind the Ducks if we were on those horses we could have been in San Francisco in the morning that's all your fault now we never get out of here the only thing that keeps me from killing you Birds is the fact that I'm short of bullets oh I have plenty of bullets I'd be glad to lend you some now I have we got to get busy now we got to build us a shelter you know it's Li of snow tonight yeah what can we build a sheller out of we Uncle Tom's Cabin oh no you don't you won't wreck my scenery to build no shelter oh yes we will oh no we won't well we'll have it your way we will help [Music] [Music] help hey hey you what's the matter with you Blood Hound if you're going to bark in here sleep like a dog get over there and sleep by yourself look what's the idea what's the idea go sleep by yourself I said but it's cold what do I use to cover use the bare skin be skin how can I use my be skin the bear hiide the bear hiide oh the bear hide but there's no mattress we'll go out the wagon and get one you dummy listen you it's cold outside it's snowing I'm going to have snowshoes we haven't any snowshoes but what am I going to oh yes we have [Music] yeah sh hey quit snoring so [Laughter] loud hey hey hey [Music] why you oh oh oh what's the idea clicking our blanket you want us to freeze to death oh oh hey fellas look the ceiling is sagging get a brace and Brace it up hurry up get moving now and be careful you don't tear that corner loose don't worry don't rip the canvas I know what I'm doing think I'm a dope think boy hold it up I'm sorry Mo a lizard I mean a blizzard an avalanche I where's Larry get Larry dig dig dig well all right oh get up you applehead listen I didn't mean to do the walls of Jericho collapsed say what's the idea I couldn't help it nature played me a dirty trick why if I didn't need you I'd exterminate you we better give a move on before the Indians come back we won't be able to go any place right we got work to do come on boys get a move on for dear old Elma here you pump some water in that here you chop some wood right we'll get oh what happened mo mo mo mo say something a few syllables say anything I hate you I hate you [Applause] [Music] too there's your water water those are ice cubes so it's hard water oh hard water look gold gold where right down the snow get it oh gold oh boy what your hey you guys quit your stall and get some grub out of the wagon the girls will be hungry oh food boys come on hurry up I GR food where's that comie oh boy the food it's all gone Bears they've eaten it up nothing left that ain't the half of it we're stranded out here with a Prairie Schooner and no horses I got an idea all we got to do is r a sail in the wagon and sail for Frisco a [Music] cruise oh you picked a fine time to go sail him well what can we lose let's try it okay you rig a mask get a piece of scenery and rig a sale okay sale H if we only had a department store we could have a rumage sale go on start rumaging Ry aast they are your Timbers Timbers lift that bail swing it got you CH Hoy raise the anchor fall on the poop deck shiv my Timbers and and that's enough come on they got that Toole well all right high off the line all right come on girls let's pack up the bedding all right offet all we need is some window that we can sail right to San Francisco maybe we'll be lucky like Columbus and discover a new country this country is good enough for us I'd like to discover something to eat I'm awful hungry hey fishing tackle I got an idea we can cut holes in the ice and catch fish hey you fellas hurry up I'm hungry I'm going as fast as I can keep your sh on I practically got a fish already what kind a blue who's talking to you [Applause] you double crossy you I got one I got one haul them out haul them out quick allmy you get them off hurry up second wait a minute I'll get him what are you taking a bed for it ain't Saturday I'm sorry I come from you wait a minute go on back to your fishing ground go on grateful oh no you don't hey look a [ __ ] how do you like that I got it's a whale oh I got one I got one oh boy [Music] [Applause] Larry help me help me come on help me he's getting away help me I got him coming now go get the iron bar and hit him on the head when I bring him up quick oh hey this fish looks like Mo it is Mo we're sorry Mo I thought you was a fish do I look like a sucker oh boys boys oh the girls they're gone gone yes I found this note here read it dear Hatchet Face we take them paleface Squares you get new face maybe next time we take a you Chief growling bear P.S tell three coyotes with you if no gone by Sunset we scouton close to the shoulder now what are we going to do it's the girl let's go hurry up [Applause] H get that up here hurry up hurry up there and I'll get going get in there there fire all drop the sail [Music] la come in baby Cliff Hello darling gosh baby you look terrific say how much longer you going to keep up this act with a wheelchair when's the insurance company going to pay off today darling the insurance adjust has taking me to his office in the insurance building then I collect $25,000 what I get yeah say who did you get for Witnesses this time well there are three saps living downstairs who've been waiting on me hand and foot they've sworn I'm a hopeless [Music] [ __ ] all right darling see you tonight bye hey it's Mary come [Music] on what's she saying she says she wants breakfast tell her we'll bring it up as soon as we shave and dress that's a dot dot dash dash dot dot Das hey cut it out will does my head look like a steam pipe no a steam pipe hasn't got ears besides what are you beefing about all I did was hit you like this it was harder than that well at the most it was only like this it was much harder than that I'll show you see take it easy kid all right all right break it up we got work to do see don't you use that tone of voice to me or I'll you all want see that uh get busy do your exercises help me up sure than none of them down here I better do my swimming hey barracuda get up here listen Hal but I'll filet you we got to get shaved Mary's waiting come on that's hey hey [Applause] hey hey hey [Music] hey right your face is too Shar tow tow tow low man again hurry up with those hot towels hot towels coming up tow oh tow tow tampons powder powder take a powder go on nice beautiful talcum powder schlam number [Music] eight hey fellas we better rush the breakfast Mary will be starved yeah I like the stove and make the hot cakes I'll cook the eggs I'll get the cereal good what are we waiting for let's go wait a minute look what's the matter go on fix those eggs get out of here oh nice fresh cackle food oh I got to have a mixing bowl oh let's see n too small this will be what stupid imbecilic fool put that I give oh am I dumb you lame brain fried eggs Mary likes some scram why you ought to mash it like a potato hey Mo where'd you get the sunglasses I bought them get out of here and get busy I'll take care of this let me see now the coffee grinder yes there we are the old l ha yes sir what two three that's fine and [Music] through [Music] go on nwit set that table up so Mary can have a breakfast hurry up go on get out of here oh yeah a wise guy huh there you are there you go hey oh what's the matter with you this thing is haunted every time I lift the legs they jump back you're an emal there's nothing wrong with it I'll show you one 2 3 4 now get this table set go on t h you stay up for him oh oh oh oh oh no my finger where's my finger where's my finger oh there it is oh wi remember no tricks wa you see what we got for breakfast this morning nice cold hotcake smothered in vinegar come in how do you do I'm the newer from the Calamity insurance company how do you do oh so you're the crook that's been holding out on this kid everybody knows that you owe a door why don't you pay her she's a [ __ ] come on now start something I'd like to buop you right in the bean knock this off my shoulder you looking for trouble knock it off oh oh oh oh oh juster E I knew you was a crook the minute you walked through that door you think I'm afraid of you a just because you're a big insurance man huh if you don't pay her the money that she's got coming to her I'll Bo I'll give it to you good boy shoot one that way you know I shoot one that way whoa boy what are you going to do about where is he oh you're getting smart eh oh little H hey oh a wise guy so you meant it eh oh oh oh cut out this nonsense Mary we got work to do we'll see you later come on Mr open that door get going here oh come on here come where you going let's hurry this up so we can back and help Mary that's what we're going to try to do kid that's the way to do it hey Larry you what's the matter with you what the matter with me oh what's going on well you Nick with you get busy I'll pulverize you go on all right I'm the only guy does anything around here why you you knit with you what's the matter with you give me that brush you're absolutely useless hey good I'm sorry kid why don't you look like you're doing I said I'm sorry so shut up come on get that thing up I'll knock your brains off all right hurry up okay don't be line her up I got it there okay here here this week the great hypnotist Sven garlic he'll steal your breath away fine fine but business has been generally bad you got a great act spend garlic but if you could pull some stunt that would make the front pages of the newspapers we do a land Office business for instance if you could hypnotize somebody to walk on water or make him do a dance up there on the flag pole of that insurance building then you've got something you've got a great idea all right but I've got to find the right person to hypnotize let me think hey wait a minute I got an idea you yeah maybe we can get this smang garc to hypnotize Mary and make a walk a that hypnotism stuff is a bunk I'll bet I can hypnotize you and make you do anything for instance look me in the eye hus pocus pocus hocus alak aabra you are now in Los Angeles I am now in Los Angeles you are you are now in New York I am now in New York you are now in sing I am now in sing you are now in Boston I am now in sing No you're now in Boston I am now in singing you can't get this guy out of singing good that's just where he belongs that's where he belongs hey I'll tell you limp for limb come on stop this nonsense and let's get away from here I'm sick and tired of this nonsense so cut it out I hope you num sculls are convinced that this hypnotism is a fake you are wrong my friend look me in the eye straighten the eye in the eye in the eye aside stay you are now a cat let me hear [Music] you you are a monkey start monkeying [Music] [Music] St you over great great when garlic we made you're a sensation man a sensation ladies and gentlemen the great sang garlic will now demonstrate the most amazing manifestation of hypnotism ever performed watch that flag pole on the insurance building across the street you are still under my spell come out come out walk out on the flag pool walk walk stop you will now start dancing dance dance dance that's the way good grief when garlic has been injured speak to me SP garlic say something the boys are up on flag P the boys hey what's that crowd doing down there let go my legs let go my legs what do you think I got Wings if you don't let go I'll hit you on top of the head with this flag pole I'm slipping shamp pole still I'll spit in my hands and get a new hole I W [Music] no hey Mo what's going on I feel a draft Mo hey Mo where are you you're inside out MO Mo don't move come on oh you do it okay yep oh [Music] oh it's Mary she's cured she look it's a miracle thank you boys oh you blithering idiots take it easy take it easy you your [Music] imil [Music] see you lollipops [Music] oh pon pon comrad we what we should be more careful what we do around here chisler wa J my music at last it's finished what what my masterpiece now all we got to do is sell it well we better we haven't got a dime and the landlord is threatened to throw us out what is he sing about we only owe him for8 months fish F table first call for lunch boy food I'll take care of the frying pan you set the table I'll do watermelon bananas hey where'd you put the eggs they're in the oven [Laughter] oh paron paron oh we we on WE wa we we fish ain't good enough for you huh I'll get you nothing here after you'll do your own shopping [Laughter] I wonder who that is quiet it might be the landlord it is the there's nobody home home up this door he didn't believe me so there is nobody home huh I have asked you for the rent for the last time you will pay me now or you go to the B oh Mr giggy not that I promise we'll pay every Sue I just finished my masterpiece come on I'll show it to you giggy old boy and what you call this I should call the maid on a night out whining a Grandfather's Clock with her left hand Master pece F what do you mean f this will be worth of Fortune after I'm dead I should kill you now and find out can't you take a joke I was only kidding but I am not kidding police police police get get [Music] the hey wait for me Mo what a predicament nothing to eat and no place to sleep I'm so hungry I could eat a Jin Dy yeah if we were back in America at least we could join the PA what a YWCA look Foreign Legion that's probably the French branch of the American Legion and when they find out we belong to the American Legion they'll send us home in a taxi Lafayette here we come come on you Foreign Legion we American Legion brother Legion get it we want to borrow some dough yeah we want to go home home yeah [Music] both we're going to get it he's going to give it to us oh I get it he wants us to sign an IOU come on what do we got to lose why you say so in the face placee curly and ik congratulations Gentlemen We what did you say I said congratulations you just joined the army oh no we didn't I beg your father son my mother didn't raise me to be a soldier come on scram well looks like we're in the army it shall be done Captain attention the natives have threatened Captain gorganzola I want you men to guard him with your life let no one enter this tent you got nothing to worry about Captain you're as safe as though you were in your mother's arms with us here thank you men I'm depending upon you draw bits draw that banet I can't stuck you'd better replace bits shoulder hes about face forward March let me h face Captain Captain H who goes there you know him the captain's been kidnapped kidnapped the captain where's the captain here Captain call Captain captain Oh Captain attention attention why didn't you guard the captain why didn't you guard the captain why didn't you guard the captain why don't you got the you'll face a firing squad for this give us another chance we'll save the captain on us we will remember your mother and my mother are both mothers on his father's side I shouldn't do this but I'll give you one more chance but if you fail don't worry I bet you Buck we bring him back alive all right but you must disguise as no white man has ever entered the domain of simus sim sim I got it he's got it well you better have it or you'll get it h who goes there Santa Claus ah there ain't no Santa Claus that's what you think look we got a present for you what do you know they got slapped out I'll take a look through that window door not be a for Captain I'm offering you your life and all this wealth if you'll only tell me where the stores of ammunition are hidden never the captain's in there all right look that's an open window come on hey how am I going to get up there shh give me a hand sap what happened oh you almost killed acept what happened oh you hit Santa Claus just for that no toys come on we get up there we'll boost you come on come on you going to start that again give me your foot La y give me a [Music] hand [Music] sh why WCA oh boy I'll take the blonde I'll take the brunette I'll take the black and 10 come [Music] on a My Fair beauty open up thy curtains that I may see your beautiful kisser [Music] oh what you been all my life T not a toyy toy and toy a I just got over oh lunman remember the old pool room yeah well that's a Cho now no not bad now you're the type what you eat steny nuts no garlic [Music] hey what's the idea I'm Ling the dock catch me and I'll give you a kiss I'll find you you little cuttie oh where are you say something cutie so I can find you am I getting warm huh tell me who hey [Music] off hey fell he's after me [Music] let's find him and feed him to the Lions y [Music] the you sh Escape captain and as for you Freedom riches and your choice of the most beautiful of my Herm are death come let your eyes Feast upon the loveliest flowers of the [Music] desert come on [Music] swam we have some new arrivals I see [Music] [Applause] [Music] go [Music] fire [Music] oh Mass massive [Music] [Applause] Master it's us come on we got to bring you back alive well you saved your life that time old cat and old kid thank you gentlemen we should be decorated for this you will the door's locked what do we do [Music] now I guess I told him it's told him how you do it C it was a s [Music] Che look out there don't push me now room I guess we showed him who boss what do you mean we mush [Music] mush [Music] at last we honor van brockland oh Walder I'm so thrilled isn't it simply Exquisite it ought to be it cost $50,000 then Brock what a genius and just think the poor man died in poverty he only died in poverty from now on I'll have to live in it now Walter don't spoil everything I'll run along and change dear like a good boy Our Guest will be here any minute I beg pardon Madam there's a leak in the plumbing it's getting worse every minute this is Dreadful wils how can I get a plumber over here at this hour well there's a new place on Elm Street Madam the uh day and night plumbers apparently they're on duty 24 hours a day thank you wils I'll phone them at once night and day plumbers what's that matter Malik yes yes North leet 217 Lyon drive now don't worry a pretty little head will be over in two shakes of a martini boy a f case why you [Applause] [Music] come on you slugs we're [Music] rolling oh stubborn a hey come on shamp it's our first call help got to get a longer Jeep hey wait for me Mr and Mrs Allan so glad you could come we're simply dying to see the van Brock well I'll not keep you waiting in the living room everybody a wils bring the cocktail very good Madam tell me [Music] sooud well day and night plers yeah come on come on where's the leak I'm not the butler he's in there well lead on pal pal oh it's divine what color what detail and it's over 200 years old every Museum in the country tried to buy it it's a masterpiece all right I congratulate you Mr Alan thank you oh uh the plumbers are looking for you in the drawing room they should have come run the back way thank you sir look here you men Refreshments thanks excuse me of course how dare you come in here and migle with my guests now take it easy lady don't blow never mind give me that I'll take yours too the idea now you give me what you have in your hand yeah oh oh such impertinence Wilks get them out of here and put them to work yes Madam Jes get them out of here and put them to work yes you heard what the gentleman said please please here here here the leaks in the basement go on go it's practically fixed they come in here to fix a leak and almost wreck the house the clumsy idiots that's got it yes it's just a little soldering job hold on to this and don't let it slip okay give me that blow torch get my foot out of there okay now see what you did what get out of here wait a minute we can't fix it while it's linking I wonder where you shut the water off it must be upstairs water always runs downhill you're a very intelligent imil thanks yeah shut the water off all right come on get the knife oh wet ain't it [Music] yeah oh sorry buddy I'll have to shut off that water I beg your pardon come on power this will run into overtime I say never mind what you say who are you oh am I I'm the plumber get out of here oh my that's a oh [Music] stubb [Music] oh it must be a loose washer how you like that I'll fix that a minute got to be a little SW it oh oh a great help you are that other CH ahead didn't shut the water off now you do it here wait a minute well I find a valve that's your job you dummy look in the kitchen look in the Attic look in the backyard I'll let the water run out the window that's what I'll do oh [Music] yeah it's a real fan brocklyn all right worth of Fortune okay we'll Wonder I want you to meet my husband Mr Mrs Allen Mr norley well that's that I wonder where those other locks are all these pipes are full of termites [Music] do that a got it now to get out Mo Larry I'm trapped by the rising water I'll be drowned like a rat oh mo oh yeah uhhuh now I'm using the old Bean success at last just go to show you I don't have to have brains to be a [Laughter] [Music] plumber what the matter what's going on oh you diwi what's the idea of dropping in without a calling card now look what you wanting done go on get another length of pipe go ahead hey Mo no wonder the water don't wa these pipes are clogged up with wires look when yank them out we'll hook the pipes up all over again you was the brain go all right no we don't go in for sculpture too bulky we we just oh de as I said white all colors short circuit No Doubt that does it end of the line okay we'll try and get these pipes together and everything will be okie dokey all right this house is so going crazy I never thought [Music] i' [Music] I'll find this thing or [Music] else dear me I can't understand what's holding up dinner sorry folks dinner's postponed on the Conor ring well I'm sure it won't be long shall we see what's on the television set excellent excellent idea now it's the very latest set you know we get the most amazing result good evening friends well that's that's odd the sound but no pict picture our special feature for tonight will be glimpses of Scenic America first we take you to Niagara Falls I'll get it in a [Music] minute I I I say you television people it's realistic isn't it darling no never in my day Madam shall I get you some water no oh my painting it's gone nobody leaves the house sorry just the formality I'll call the [Music] police what up what you folks going somewhere just looking for a drink of water turn on anything you'll get it he's gone we can't make it out that way we'll be searched yeah yeah they won't find anything I'll slip the picture inherit the excitement blows over anything anything hurry I'll get back to the rest before we're missed yeah okay give me that pipe I got you covered oh oh who Mrs Norfleet the only strangers in the house of those plumbers they must have taken your painting of course what are we waiting for let's go find them there's one of them take it easy folks I'm just a beginner come follow me take [Music] theill here a hole in the floor like this can be dangerous all right sunny boy the pipe come and get it get up out of there you there's the guy that took your picture where is it where is it C it no guess the mine would steal that painting of course not this man's out of his head drop that pipe if I took that picture may I be struck by a bolt from the blue you heard me drop it there it is look wait a minute stand back everybody hey and if you want to keep on living count to a 100 before you move one 2 [Music] [Applause] 3s get all out of him get that gun I got you we'll call the police Polie Polie police what would you charge to haunt a house how many room quiet look at me I got the other one keep going sister I'll knock your brains out go ahead oh no you don't Madam here's your picture oh my painting name your reward and you shall have it we don't want no reward lady what are you saying you hiding we don't want no more money no it'll put us in a higher tax bracket I'll bracket your head oh [Music] la the [Music] general gentlemen our position is very precarious unless our secret service can get the information as to the enemy's plans we will be forced to retreat Colonel what operators have we here operators 12 14 and 15 good we are fortunate gentlemen they are the very brains of the entire Secret Service summons [Music] [Laughter] [Music] them attention oh oh that's a coincidence operator 12 oh operator 14 operator 15 what happened operator 13 he swam across the river and died a patomic poisoning men our army is in danger of annihilation unless we know the plans of the enemy our cause is lost sir here are the uniforms we took from the enemy prisoners good we have captured three of the enemy's officers and you are going to take their places we you will down their uniforms we'll give you their credentials and your names will be Lieutenant duck Captain Dodge and major Hyde now I want you three men to bring me back the necessary information providing you get back we'll divide it we'll divide well do you remember your names no duck Dodge hide [Laughter] attention [Applause] atten who aast there shiv my temper ship a ho heat two on the port side I wonder if this is the right place Lieutenant I reckon this is the place Captain what do you all say major well is there's no other place around the place I reckon this must be the place I reckon how deep is this yeah River major it ain't deep [Applause] look Man Overboard May the life we'll have the preservers in a minute we'll have you out the moment sir [Applause] there easy maor you're frightening Clementine what's the matter what happened I wish lost all by myself let me see your hand I'm I'm getting tired of this Army I'm getting tired of both armies oh thanks boys if you hadn't hell that Branch it would have killed me oh another centy remember the password go ahead oh what happened nothing oh follow me P advance and give the C A Sign that's only for the first line so it is Charlie gives it for the second line Charlie sure everybody knows Good Time Charlie he walks like this hey wait look another Sentry do your stuff Lieutenant spread out that way H advance and give the counter sign cuming and Charlie Walks Like This HK what seems to be the trouble y well he doesn't know the counter sign he's not supposed to I reckon do you know who this is no who is he I tell him Captain well yes um he's a gentleman of the South the Southall never mind I'll take care of him hey you all looking for me I know who are you stranger I'm Charlie you know the fell walks like this no you're the wrong Charlie the Charlie we're looking for walks like a [Applause] Visa I got a better one for the colel what is it major there were three men in three beds only had two blankets how'd they keep warm I don't know how did they major they turned on the heat see that yeah see that by uh the way colel I think we ought to have about 75,000 men down yeah don't make me laugh we've only got 19,000 yeah but I reckon we ought to have about 350 heavy pieces of artillery don't you think oh that's where we fooled him we've only got 18 pieces 18 pieces a m hand let's forget business gentlemen and freshen up our julips sure the co is right let's have a nip and Tuck what's that major a one nip and they tuck you away for the night Colonel uh have we uh yes we have plenty for everybody here you are took enough of that stuff and that'll be the last time hey w i was burning up do you know what that paper was hot hello Daddy oh hello dear I'm baking a cake all by myself oh that's fine dear by the way gentlemen let me introduce my daughter Judith would you all care to partake of my cake when it's done we all would sure love it lead us to it oh I baked the cake once but it fell and killed the cat majer how about another nip and Tuck hello Charlie message sir w w w woo this is serious what is it I can't see so good without my glasses well what does it say official communication to Kel buts QX division what did it say it's about the Union Army what what was it all Union soldiers are now wearing Union underwear think of it what oh baking eh can I help you I used to work in a bakery as a pilot a pilot yeah I used to take the bread from one corner and pil the other well um can you spread this cake with some of the strawberry preserve oh certainly okay oh oh there's a hole in it oh another one here's the other one be careful it's hot you know I quit my job at that Bakery why oh I got sick of the dough and thought I'd go on the loaf oh you should be proud of your achievement Missy this cake is is as light as a feather I'm sure you'll like it yes ma'am what do you all say the name of this cake was Southern Comfort yes ma'am uh tastes like Southern comforter you certainly like that cake do you mind if I Dunk Dunk do you like the cake here you'd better have my piece too do you like that cake if I hadn't help bake it I never knew it was a cake oh yeah how's yours taste like a mattress want mine I'm stuffed now gentlemen I just received word that the Left Flank must move over to the right and the right flank must move over to the left gentlemen gentlemen I need your advice what can you suggest SM he eating more [Laughter] chicken what is this what is this where did you get can't you do something about this where did you get this Colonel we have information that there are spies in your ranks I'm here to investigate you don't think introduce me to your guests Oh by all means right this way gentleman meet major filin oh a victim of circumstance major Filbert's here because there have been rumors that there are Northern spies in our Southern ranks the major suspects everybody he's known as Blood Hound filbert and he can smell a spy a mile away I'm glad he can't smell him any closer pardon me I didn't quite get the name this year's Captain Dodge at a horse marine well I've got a quite a pleasant surprise for you Captain what is it major what they told me that your father came in this afternoon my father Yes boy Dad's here is he still as tall as ever no he's rather short well he can't borrow any money from mea oh excuse me gentlemen I got to take care of a Weg back pardon me how long have you had a week back oh about a week back you see that a here to the success of our cause and yes to the success of our cause where's Captain D sounds like trouble sounds like Lieutenant duck to me how is my son oh fine Uncle Tom fine Uncle Tom that's short for papy by the way Captain I forgot to tell you your wife also came in this afternoon where are you going I left my horse parked in the safety zone tell me Captain is your wife a blonde or a brunette well sir I really can't say you know when she first married me everybody accused her of being very [Laughter] lighted wooo Dy kiss me darling darling gentlemen this is Mrs Dodge my wife oh Colonel Mrs is Dodge Let's Have a Drink To the Beautiful Mrs Dodge now we'll have this fixed in just a minute oh gentlemen you're are very kind sir thank you and I was wondering Mrs Dodge what did you do with your little baby baby baby oh my baby what have you done with my baby oh oh my baby what have they done with my child but Mrs Dodge I I we don't worry Dix saloo I'll get him him her her I'm a victim of circumstance I'm going to faint oh she has fainted get her a glass of water no whiskey do you think they'll ever find him here honey where did you find it he was walking down by the railroad alone no I was with her well let's see the little darling he looks just like the captain [Music] yeah looks like you does he we had him down the beach all summer he got quite sunburned sunburned yeah here why what do I do with him hold him for 30 days if nobody claims him he's yours get this baby here here I J you take it you take it I'll get SP escaping cboys come on hey wait a minute in this tree trunck hurry up men the guns the enemy is approaching edman yes fire I wonder what's become of operators 12 14 and [Music] [Applause] [Music] 15 [Music] well doc how about it this man has a very bad leg you're telling me the vein in his right leg is greatly enlarged chared see here midway between the kneecap and the ankle joint there's an area of great congestion this vein is the cause of all your trouble I've never seen a vein like it in my life it's enormous what's the answer doc I ain't going to lose my leg am I doc I've had it ever since I was a little kid oh of course not just go out west couple of months and you'll be just as good as new oh thanks Doc the leg is as good as new it feels great easy it's hard [Music] boy that saw bones had the right dope M like feel swell good what's the matter with that stuff give me some with a jolt in it I'm tough look we're out west now so we got to be tough don't worry about us we'll be tough we know what to do okay boys get Western shoot you for the drinks right now shoot you for the drink throw you throw hold it okay here's your change there you go what's the matter with you guys what are you trying to easy easy moo this silk shoot you for the drinks those Jasper down there who are they I don't know boss well come here go find out who those men are doc Barker I won't do it you won't do what you're forgetting girl who I got locked up down there that's better he's all right hello boys what brings you to Coyote pets well lady it's it's my vein you're vain biggest vein you ever saw qu I always knew there was gold around these parts where is this Bain oh I know I'll show you I'll show you it's right there ain't it a Whopper it certainly is you see it's just halfway between it's all very interesting but I must go now I want to tell you some more about my vein I you can tell me I'm doc marker well pleased to meet you doc this is right up your rally did you ever see a vein like this in all your life I should say not you know something I can do things with a vein like that you mean operate that's right partner we'll really going to work on it no Small Time stuff either no if it's near the service we'll use 20 men with pick and shovel well that might be a blessing Doc and if the vein is any deeper we'll use dynamite oh no not on my vein there are t horns around here who say doc Parker ain't a big operator why they won't have a leg left to stand up neither will I oh Mr Ard you kill me all right thanks anyway doc but we'll handle a vein ourselves yeah come on let's go Qui I saw it it's worth millions big operator he ain't kidding what matter I've got to talk to you follow me no honey you shouldn't have come down here Johnny these men are going to help you are we are we are we yes doc Parker's a crook he murdered my father and stole the Red Dog Saloon from me and unless I marry him he says he's going to kill the Arizona kid don't you marry that side Winder honey it don't matter none what happens to me that's the old western Spirit kid besides you said these gents were going to help me why sure it don't matter none what happens to us what am I saying I have a plan yes if we can just get our hands on a key to this door yes yes we can let Johnny out and he can ride for help yes yes yes he carries the key in his coat pocket we'll get it all right oh your angels not yet we ain't all we got to do is get to take his coat off that ought be easy here sh here he comes oh by the bye Jasper how long do you wear a shirt like that oh about down to here H what a brain should be on the meat counter glad to have you with us Mister have a little poker game over here care to join us oh I'm sure he won't mind at all partner go to it down give him some tips thanks well boys drink on me okay where's that bartender oh he's out I'll fix the drinks don't go away icky M that's Andy a dollar you take care of the bot yeah good work what do you know about mixing drinks nothing that's fine get me a [ __ ] old homicide molasses that ought to sweeten up yeah Tabasco open for 10 me these boots are killing me [Music] I'll raise you 10 Salter eggs that ought to make a cackle hey you put paint in there so I did what's that paint remover all right give me three I'll take the same three one I'll bet you 500 well mister qu bet you 500 bucks call down right I can call only I ain't got 500 bucks don't let that worry you just give me that paper of yours for security and I'll Advance you five grand you mean this what sure thing I'll see you 500 and raise you 1,000 p easy now good well Mr I re ra you a th000 can you call her can't you I wouldn't be a bit surprised I'll see you and raise you another thousand call King I straight four races Come to Papa get me the S Barella this drink is for shamp I got to remember that we okay why don't you look where I'm going on what's the matter I don't know which glass is which begin his luck come on hurry up with those drinks here's the crime yeah a short life and a merry one yeah very short life well my little bride to be fix the G of drink him his you take mine thank you excuse me certainly Miss nil hey see pretty well let's get along with the game water water water water [Music] get that wet Co off he'll catch ammonia yeah they're in here someplace here they are okay I got B are you all right boss yeah I'm all right get turn there now honey Johnny I'm going up and settle with that skunk doc Barker no Johnny no there's only one thing to do go fetch the United States Cavalry I reckon you're right I'm burning the trail now boss it's the Arizona kid he busted out and got away got away he couldn't have I had him locked in I got the keys right here in my coat here came me you that shry hey Mo where that P later put him in the Arizona kids room and really lock the door good this time hey Mo ship help I ought to hold him for 3 hours it'll hold him longer than that boss it won't have to I'm going to shoot him at sundal come on they're gone okay Mo they're going to shoot me at sundown not if you ain't still in there they won't I wonder how the Arizona kid is doing I sure hope he makes it before Sundown sir there's trouble at coot pass we need the United States Cavalry Sergeant sound the assembly Colonel I hope you're not too late son never in the history of Motion Pictures has the United States Cavalry been too [Music] late [Music] I'm going upstairs okay hey pull that chisel righty he comes a gun he play something I feel like [Music] singing what are you waiting for I'm waiting for the click you're getting no place fast oh oh come on here hold your ear what is that a cross cut what do you like that come on busy here right hurry up all right hold bar [Music] how's it doing how's it lock how's my ear never mind the lock come on get over [Music] here what [Applause] happened [Music] I got one of [Music] you chisel all right [Music] there that's it that's it boy get it up there that's [Music] it that's it that's it all right you all right now kid yeah we'll be 40 m Away by the time those y wake up yeah we don't need any help [Applause] fellas this way stand where you are don't come any closer I'll blow you up so help look out come here let's get out of here the softies I sure bluffed them you sure did hey n's up there come on oh yeah look at them run they're scared of us you sure bluffed them down the cellar too what are you hissing about I ain't hissing must be you listen you are hey get of that success all right to worry about everything well where are the Outlaws out like a light behind the bar Colonel the stoes have landed and had the situation well in hand you mean we made this nasty trip for nothing sorry colel what will Washington say about this all right man it's all over you can go back [Music] now no [Music] honey [Music] Clipper's been in there a long time maybe she won't sell hope she does get there oil in our land here he comes now the old lady was a cinch here's the deed signed sealed and delivered I'll take it oh no you don't we'll put it right in here where we can all watch it all right let's hurry to fairp point and record the D oh it's a hurry there's a lot more suckers around here who want to sell all land cheap hey look out for those [Music] [Applause] men watch M with you guys why don't you look where you're G and I point up here I was dreaming of a nice portion of roast chicken and dumplings what's that for that's for not dreaming enough for the both of us why you hey spad out you guys I think I see a meal where where oh boy hen [Laughter] fruit hey Plymouth Rock get going come on quiet what's that noise for I found an egg oh give it to me no he you guys here what are you doing in here we're looking for you well what do you want listen Squire we're hungry can you give us something to eat oh you're hungry huh well go on over there and S up some of that wood and I'll give you something to eat need come on boys wait to do come on saw that wood now lot of pet hey get busy okay look I'm skitt laor you can do better I suppose all right wise guy you want to do all a work I'll work watch where's my head oh my oh oh oh oh oh look look at that saw see if it'll work oh look at those teeth move move please look move move I'll get you no mo don't Mo please don't do it oh I'm sorry Mo I didn't mean it was a coincidence if I didn't need you I'd exterminate you get a hold of that saw we got to fix it how how we'll break it and half and move the handle up to here bring it back now it won't work oh I'm dead I'm dead say something speak to me kid tell me your name so I can tell your mother my mother knows my name oh playing pum M oh yeah you're going to fix that saw you half brother to a weasel listen you on behalf of the weasel I resent that talk to your superiors like that come here cut this saw in half so it'll work how am I going to cut it in half use the little saw oh where'd you get the egg right here made the water while you're wait ain't it a view well hello boys how are you how you getting along well it's pretty hard work H come on come on brace up why I hey you hey what do you think you're doing there I'm sawing a saw and half with a saw see hey you've ruined my saws don't get excited you can still use it for a cheese knife now listen you Birds you're going to work till you pay for these saws now get over there and load that wagon if I see you do any more damage I'm going to have you thrown in jail see get [Music] going hey wait a minute hey lad get out of there and fix that [Music] door who h what my back is turned e wouldn't hit me in the face would [Applause] you took me ill literately hurry up with that W you okay fellas let it come just can't help being a back biter e hey wait a minute fellas wait a minute hey you guys what's the idea you dumb bells I'm only trying to help you see what he's doing under there if you move I'll beat your brains out Mo Larry Mo Larry I'm so agravated Mo Larry that looks like oil property yeah just crying for new owner I still think we ought to be in Fairport recording that Jenkin Steed ah the trouble with the is you ain't got no vision you guys only listen to me once in a while D like that got enough trouble wow wow wow wow I can't go another step my feet are killing me mine too boy my puppy's yelling oh mine too oh oh take it easy take it easy Foo take it easy what GE I wish we had a car wishing always wishing what does it get you nothing you never can tell when I hey fellas look can it be yes oh boy I got my wish it came true how do you like that but I didn't wish for no Dy never look a gift horse and a puss you know I think I was born to be rich I wish I had a cigar look are you a wishing wizard cigars what a bouquet smells like a cant hey don't look now but I think we're about to be killed you know if I wasn't so weak from Hunger I'd bat your brains out if you had brains you punch drunk I'm hungry do something about it what wish slug wish okay what do you have how about that roast chicken and dumplings and some hot apple pie does it have to be hot why certainly do you want them to catch cold okay I wish I had roast chicken and dumplings and hot apple pie you ain't trying concrate concrate I am concentrating but nothing's happening hey h step the car what's the idea of telling them to stop maybe we can get a hand out here that's a good idea come on how do you do lady could you give three hungry men a bite to eat why certainly the wited Jenkins never sends hungry men away come in gentlemen spread out now make yourself right at home thank you gee I wish she had some roast chicken and dumplings that's exactly what I have and I have some lovely hot apple pie oh boy I got my wish the guy is haunted oh this water tastes like coal oil isn't it awful it's been that way ever since the pump broke Mr Jenkins isn't there some kind of work we can do to repair for this wonderful meal well the pump does need fixing but men man the pumps pum we will go a pum we will [Music] go a pumping whe go hey look a Rooster bar you don't mean a crowbar well don't a rooster crow boy isn't this a beautiful spot you said it it brings out the wood nym in me you know I wish we could meet three beautiful girls so we could settle down out here that's asking for too much what do you want to waste wishes for mom come here Mom mom mom come here hey fellas look what I got for wishing look we won the bathing beauty contest and it's real imitation silver too oh Darlings that's wonderful oh gentlemen meet my daughters April May and June H three of the prettiest months of the year oh you all say the kindest thing sir oh gentlemen gentlemen are you forgetting the pump to the pump to the pump the pump oh pump to the pump to the pump to the pum p p to the pump hey p p p to the P to the P pum pum to the pum to the pum to the pum p p I didn't mean to you know look stop it wait a minute I'll murder you you ain't got time now you got to fix the pump you're lucky it sounds like it's got asthma yeah it's dead all right we got to take the top off come on wait a minute get that crowbar Nest head right it wait a minute we'll attack it from the rear ready gentlem it must be loose now out of the way I take it off careful it's stopped up get the Crowbar AE head you hear that sounds like there's a bear down there I'm going to get a trap wait a minute how can that be a bear down there it's barely possible yeah we give me a match I'll look down the pipe all cleaned out get that pump put it on that's doing up she go C turn now boy must be stopped up keep [Applause] [Music] pumping well well boys you nums I'm [Music] Mar look it's an Inkwell Inkwell nothing why that's Earl Earl sure a cool Earl you mean oil it's a Geer an oil Geer hey that's waste a lot of money let's CK it up quick go get a c quick we can't get a CK to fit that you better sit on hey fellas hey fellas it's stop look I'm a successful [Music] CC he Harry get me down what are you doing up there I'm an unsuccessful cross un me go away we'll be right back hold it get ready now tie it around here ready go how are you kid I'm all right I'm all right get that rope off my gracious what's that that's oil it's an oil well oil oil oil yeah it's AA right on your pza you're rich you're rich oh my gracious I just sold the farm for $50 an acre they told me a dust storm was coming $50 an AC why you've been swindled who bought it oh Mr Clipper and two other men they've gone to Fairport to record the deed boys we got to stop him before they record that deed we can't stop him in his oily clothes why not the oily boy catches the wor why have we got to get some dry clothes hurry come on let's go come on put a lamp in the window mall we may not be home to dog so long for [Music] luck step on it we got to get that deed back I wish I'd come face to face with those Crooks hey that's our car isn't it it sure is flag them down hey [Music] stop hey what do you Dames mean by stealing our car dang you guys are screwy we didn't steal no car we're looking for the crooks yeah we'll find out whether this is our car or not I wish I could lay my hands on those swindlers sure it's our car look here's the Jenkins D it's them the crooks come on come on give me that hey what the give me that get hey give me back that deer I'll punch you in the nose Dame or no Dame oh hit a woman would you poish give me that D all right all right all right can we be friends with give me a hand [Applause] oh boy we got the Deep at last we got nothing to worry [Applause] about wait a minute who's driving this thing I'm the original I was driving look I'm cowy I'll handle [Applause] this oh dear why did I have to sell the place spread on don't cry Mr Jenkins Mr Jenkins yes here's your de we saved your property rich rich my hero my hero I wish there was a justice of peace around so we could get married did I hear someone call the justice of the peace why it's Uncle Tim sure not hey what do you want all you got to do now is wish for quintuplets and we're all set that's a cinch well honeymoon in Canada [Music] sh why that CH dirty don't be what's the idea pushing my face in a paint I didn't do it you did I didn't you did I didn't do it so there now get to work oh my Mo you see Mo I didn't gee I'm sorry Mo it was just an accident oh think nothing of it son anyone can have an accident why only last week I was holding a paintbrush and suddenly I got a twitch in my right arm like this oh geez sorry kid it was that old twitch again M quite a twitch quite a twitch you know I got a niche to Twitch too cut you get up yo I to murder you wipe that face and get busy I'll get busy when I'm ready are you ready yeah I'm ready well go on there they are let's go and have some fun with them haha hello boy say I thought you boys had Parts in this show how come you not in your wardrobe H we only do a small bit in the southern act in the last scene does wouldn't give us a break oh that's too bad I'll bet you'd be great actors if only you had a chance Thou Art face to face with a great fesbian lover a your eyes are like two limpid pools of fire that burn into my soul a fair one come with me to the casador M this was terrific you almost had Miss swooning step aside you call that good get a load of me spouting Shakespeare a rose by any other name would smell and so do you I'll have your head for this your blood shall fill the streets draw thy sword Dave and prepare to defend thyself never lived a Capulet who could insult a montigue I'm God on BK I'm terribly sorry but the brush shut up I ought to fire you but I need you now listen Nick Barker the dramatic critic has been panning my shows for years now I don't want him to pan this one so if you see him sneaking in backstage throw him out and watch for his assistant too but BK if we throw bker out he'll pan our performance in tomorrow's paper Okay okay so disguise yourselves then he won't know who tossed him out you can depend on us BK by the way Nick Barker has been known to disguise himself too so if you see any suspicious characters give him the works yes listen boys we got to get this disguised there well listen Mr barter don't sneak in or Pon is going to shoot you I think I'm a bad man I oh don't shoot don't shoot my disguise is so good I didn't recognize myself my gun [Music] OU I don't think Barker will recognize me in this now keep your eyes open okay dangar kipawa I wonder what that is oh oh oh what happened somebody in that room punched me in the nose that must be Nick Barker he's disguised like a black banana we'll get him here follow me hey hey find time to take a nap remind me to kill you later I'll makeing hold of it try Mr B how do you like that n how do you like that it's Larry Larry why didn't you tell us it was you we thought you would Nick Barker I thought you were Nick Barker and his assistant quiet that must be Nick bker he's trying to sneak in come on get him Mr ber whoa It's BK hurry up get some water he's out say a few syllables say something I watch it now I'll clear him how is he now how where were the children first Sorry boss we didn't see you that's the trouble with you morons you didn't see Nick Barker when he sneaked in either sitting in the front row watching the show oh there must be some a mistake yes and you made it get the props ready for the third act and don't forget the salad and the cake if I had someone to replace you in that southern act i' fire you oh but BK maybe he'll change his mind if we're good in the show you get the cake you get the salad Mo I got news for you you forgot to buy the cake and the salad you imbeciles why did you let me forget hey it's late all the stores are closed we'll have to whip up a cake and salad ourselves schn come on Larry hurry with that salad I am hurry up with that flower I'm hurrying well dump it take it easy Mo take it easy I'll fix you up in a second come over here I'll fix me up I'll fix you up now don't worry about a thing they are as good as new pal I don't know what i' have done without you but I do know what I'm going to do with you oh see that oh yeah I'll murder you oh oh oh I sure fool him tonight yeah oh let's cut it out get the rest of those layers so I can build a cape okay that pothole is no good hurry up and get that frosting we got another cake to build and besides we got to get dressed for that third right okay okay [Music] jie just jie but we're all in love with [Applause] [Music] j and here comes Miss jie Bell now gentlemen Miss Janie Bell would you all marry me gentlemen I can't marry all of you but I have it I'll just B this lovely little old cake with my own little hands and the one who eats the most cake the quickest I'll marry right now I got to win this contest oh you're losing right now man I'm going to eat that kick right up hey there's something wrong with this cake shut up you want to crab the show you got to eat it it's part of the plot punch Miss Janelle what do you all call this delicious cake oh I call it Old Point Comfort excuse me boys Old Point Comfort tastes more like an old comforter I get the point right oh is it good delicious you all you know this cake is as light as a feather they're [Laughter] molding [Laughter] boy is that cake foul over You' ruined me I'm the laughing stock of all those people you're fir uh-oh Here Comes Nick Barker it's terrific it's a sensation BK this is the greatest satire I've ever seen and these boys are hilarious I was just telling them the same thing yes sir I'm starving my boys in the next production glad a break at last now I can act to be or not to be that is the question here's the [Music] answer [Music] la

Channel: The Three Stooges+

Views: 374,590

Keywords: Three Stooges, The Three Stooges, 3 Stooges, Three Stooges full episodes, The 3 Stooges, Three Stooges in color, Curlys Grandson, Curly G, Moe Larry Curly, Shemp, Curly Joe, Joe Derita, Three Stooges cartoons, Disorder in the court, Three Stooges Plus, Stoogetalk Live, Stoogetalk, Nostalgia, Comedy, Slapstick, 1950s, 1930s, Classic Tv, Classic Film, Abbott and Costello, Curly Shemp, Three Stooges marathon, Shemp Howard, Three Stooges Curly, Three Stooges Shemp

Id: ZZveim-w2cU

Length: 206min 50sec (12410 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 27 2024