OP and His Wife Neglected Their Son to Enjoy Themselves, Now Begging Their Son to Include Them in...

first story op and his wife neglected their son to enjoy themselves now begging their son to include them in his life after he cut tiles with them and moved out my wife 42f and I 45m were having dinner with our only son 23m 2 weeks ago we're celebrating the fact that he got into one of the top 10 PHD programs in physics we were having dinner with each other at our house my son has no past issues he's a smart social caring and hardworking boy he has a good set of friends and an amazing girlfriend I am just completely shocked at what happened the argument both of us were congratulating him on his achievement and told him how we were so proud of the fact he was the first to get a PhD in the entire family he said thanks as usual my wife reminded him to make it a priority to maintain contact with us when he moves to start his PhD for some he just snapped at that moment he stopped eating for a moment and with a stern look he asked why I didn't know why he was so angry I just wanted to diffuse a potential fight and jokingly said because we're your parents silly then he said well your job is done now you don't need to bother me you have more time for each other now his mom asked what the matter was he said he doesn't understand why he has to force himself to maintain contact with his parents who loved each other more than him we were shocked and asked what made him think like that he went on his rant and he said we may love him but he was mostly a job for us that we needed breaks from he mentioned that up until starting College in the three to four vacations of 2 to 3 weeks we take in a year we mostly went without him and dumped him at our parents places it's true though most of our trips have been as couples since the beginning this isn't his first time bringing it up he mentioned that for the majority of the weekends we had we looked forward to our date nights more than spending time with him he said he felt that while we did love him he was always at the backseat of our relationship I told him we needed our own couple time too he said that he understood that but it seemed to him that for moments of fun we always preferred to spend them as a couple the major thing that kicked me in the balls was when he said one of the major reasons he enjoyed College was that he no longer needed us for emotional support they said he enjoyed spending time with his friends more than spending time with us he said that's what he wanted to do for his four years before he left he said he was tired of being part of a family that placed him second when it came to love especially when it wasn't his choice and he wanted to be equally loved he left dinner that night without saying goodbye and hasn't contacted us since then me and his mom have been balling our eyes out every day since then we can't sleep at night at all the worst part is that since he doesn't need us financially anymore he can cut us out of his life with no drawbacks did we mess up with him as parents in our eyes we did everything we're supposed to do as parents we loved him fed him sheltered him paid for his tuition and spent time with him apparently not enough forgive me if I didn't articulate myself properly it's hurting to say this what should we do did we go wrong advice is needed thank you all update just last Friday my wife and I came into physical contact with our son a lot of stuff has happened between the time we last saw him storming out on us during dinner and meeting him last Friday the first week we kept calling our son five times a day and leaving him three voicemails daily we never heard him pick up the phone within the second week his girlfriend picked up his phone one day and told us he was living with her at her apartment but didn't want to see us she told us to give him time to cool down meanwhile our lives at home were getting screwed over in the first couple of weeks all of our energy was put into getting in contact with him and having him visit us we knew where his girlfriend lived and my wife wanted to make a personal visit but I warned her that showing up at his doorstep Uninvited was only going to make the situation worse we called our family members to persuade him to talk to us it didn't matter if we had his grandparents aunts or uncles to call him but his response was politely telling them he was willing to talk to them about anything but us and apologized if he inconvenienced them we realized our method wasn't working we decided to go for counseling and therapy not only to try to reconnect with him but also to process our emotions through the difficult times we slowly stopped overwhelming him with our attempts to contact him both our counselors suggested we respect his boundaries and let him make the first move so we decided to leave a voicemail on his phone saying that we would be bothering him but our door is always open to to him these three months were painful to say the least our exual life decreased significantly there was a time my wife started crying in the middle of it since it reminded her of the time we let him cry out his nightmare when he was 3 years old but still didn't let him enter our room because we were in the middle of having ASX and we wanted to finish we didn't go on any date nights or outside of the house for that my wife and I became home buddies a lot of guilt was plaguing us that guilt led to a time of introspection we started doing research on family Dynamics during our spare time we asked ourselves questions such as did we spend enough time with him did he feel like a burden to our relationship were we wrong to put our relationship first over a relationship with him we wanted to be aware of what was going on in his life so we used to follow him on social media we checked his Facebook page every day that was a big mistake we found out that he proposed to his girlf friend last month and she said yes we found out through a post on his Facebook page yes that's right we the parents found out about the engagement of our only child through effing Facebook Jesus effing Christ as if we weren't already in enough pain we were stuck in the same cycle again in the past until he finally reached out to us we got a call from our son this past Monday and it was like a positive sign from the universe he said he wanted to talk about our relationship he asked if he could come to our house this Thursday with his girlfriend for support we obviously said a resounding yes we were anxious I didn't expect it to be a tear reunion but it was definitely a good step in reconciliation my wife and I discussed with each other how to lead the conversation we both agreed to apologize for any anguish we caused and to listen to what he had to say first when did this Thursday come we sat impatiently waiting for him after we came back from work when he rang the doorbell and opened it there was no sense of warmth from him but a reluctant smile his girlfriend almost felt sad being here I had a feeling that night they both refused any drinks we offered them my son felt extremely uncomfortable being there my wife told him that if he wanted to speak first he should this is what he said to us he apologized to us if he caused us any emotional turmoil he said his resentment started building up ever since he was little there were a lot of things about our behavior that contributed to his point of view he felt like having kids was more of a checklist that we wanted to complete than being actively interested in being parents and having a deep bond as parents he said that whenever there was a disagreement with one of us we would always take the other side over his it felt like there was an US versus him type of family Dynamic whenever we came back home from work we looked forward to seeing each other more than him when it came to spending time with him it felt like doing stuff with him was physically and emotionally draining for him we needed a break from him after having a break with him one-on-one time felt like it was even more taxing for us according to him he also said that there were times we wanted to spend with each other he also said that we lit up when we wanted to spend time as a couple he he said that we put more effort into having our date nights and couped time than spending time with him he said we seemed more upset when we couldn't have couped time over family time the fact that we spent our vacation as a couple rather than as a family compounded the problem he found it bizarre when we claimed we missed him after he came back from our trips when he was young he cried when we showed him pictures of our trips we comforted him by saying we love him but we need our couple time he said that even made him more upset he felt like we were using our parents his grandparents as our impromptu babysitters he said that this feeling was further corroborated when visits significantly decreased as he Grew Older he said he gave up on having a relationship with us when he entered high school he said he put more effort and time into his academics so he could use his energy in a more productive manner than on us he said it didn't come as a surprise that we didn't notice because we never formed a close bond with him to notice such things he said his academics and friendships satisfied him more than spending time with us eventually we were just roommates with him he became apathetic when we didn't spend time with him and he turned us down many times we always thought he was too busy for us he said that his bond with us weakened even more during college he never missed us and he got annoyed when we asked to meet him and complained about him not calling us often he said he cried sometimes because he felt guilty for not missing us he also said one of the reasons he did well in his academics was because he wanted to do well in other aspects of his life such as following his passion in physics and he wanted to lead a happy life with us barely or entirely out of it that's when he started tearing up at that moment it still hurts him that the reason he was successful today was because he wanted to get away from us he said he felt free when he went to college and now he is soon going to graduate school this fall on the other side of the country in the past few months he has realized a lot of new things he concluded by stating what he wants for the future he said he was very grateful for what we did for him such as paying for college he will financially support us if we ever need it or be present when an emergency or family crisis occurs aside from that we are not a priority in his life at all we shouldn't be demanding phone calls or having him visit us anymore he said he shouldn't be forced to maintain a strong relationship with us but we never cultivated it while we raised him he states that family or not an adult isn't obligated to have and maintain a relationship with any other adult he said he was stuck in a relationship with us that he didn't want to have until he became independent he no longer regrets his decision he said that at the end of the day we chose to be his parents not the other way around we could have found ways to bond with him and find common ground and stuff to do with him so it didn't feel like a burden to be apparent to him we never Incorporated him into our lives and saw being apparent as akin to a job we had every opportunity to form that close bond with him but we never took it before he left he said he wished us a happy and healthy life and we're invited to his wedding if we want to come time froze after he left and we were flabbergasted by what happened it was like he divorced us my door is always open to him and I hope one day he can forgive us for the way we treated him however I don't know how to move on with this possibly permanent estrangement any suggestion thank you for reading this writing this alleviated my anxiety a little bit Jack I still love you son please come back I'm sorry update there is so much judgment from you guys I believe that the spouse comes first your kids will eventually leave you but your spouse stay is with you till the end I maybe didn't have a proper balance but no parent is perfect I need help getting him to understand that we love him and that we're sorry Second Story delusional op abandoned his wife and children now asking if he is a whole and Reddit didn't much I 30m have been married to my wife 35f for 7 years I play a sport professionally so I am away a lot for training and games but I still work hard to give my wife and two children N9 and 3F as much time as possible I make a good salary so my wife is able to stay home with our kids and I provide my family with a comfortable lifestyle last week I arrived home after a training session that was cut short and my wife was excited to have dinner as a family as I'm not usually home before my kids are in bed here's where she says that I'm the arle I apologetically told her that I had promised a teammate I'd go kick back at his place after training I had really only stopped at home to shower and get ready quickly she argued with me for like 15 minutes and accused me of being an rcy hole who never sees his family and barely knows his own kids I was very offended by this and stormed out I ended up spending the night at my teammate's house and although I've apologized numerous times my wife still won't speak to me aah here or is she being dramatic about all of this I barely get any time to myself so I don't think it's unreasonable to want to hang with friends after a long day of work comments serel 42 your wife makes the accusation that you aren't around enough your response is to storm out and spend the night elsewhere you kind of proved her point with that yta you didn't even give your wife the courtesy of discussing the matter before just deciding that you're going to your teammate's house op I am an adult I can make my own choices she's my wife not my mom I don't need to discuss plans with her I told her about my plans they were already made they weren't supposed to be up for discussion serel 42 you're an adult who doesn't fully understand that marriage is not just having kids and letting your spouse take care of them while you run off to do what you want keep digging that whole buddy adventurous bet 9747 I am an adult are you sure you don't seem like one loveon why apologize if you don't think you did anything wrong right there it but you don't think it's unreasonable to want to hang out with friends after a long day at work it's not if all your responsibilities are being met when does your wife get her unencumbered after work Kang you have a family they usually require both parents to put in 24 hours of effort to work in answer jit and he said in another comment that one of the kids has special needs the op is totally the a op I apologized because I'm tired of the silent treatment and just want things to be normal again my wife is unencumbered practically all the time our 9-year-old is in school from 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. and our 3-year-old just started a private preschool program that's 4 days a week from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. her sister also provides Child Care whenever she needs it I am always putting in my effort it just happens to be working to put money into our account rather than staying at home with the kids lovely your replies make it sound like you don't respect your partner or her efforts but try doing her job for a week and see how it feels op I've taken care of them for a week before during the offse and let my wife go on a vacation it was easier than expected it is Ely not a full-time job especially now with the youngest in school update throwaway account for obvious reasons I have been having some trouble with my wife of s years lately when we started dating I was 18 and she was 23 quickly we realized that our values were different she always wanted things to be more serious than they were when I was 20 she got pregnant and refused to get an abortion despite me telling her I didn't want to be a parent this young she told me to grow up 2 years later she proposed to me she knew I would never propose and we ended up getting married 3 years ago we had another accident and our daughter was born I am a professional athlete and I'm out of the house most of the time traveling to games and training she is always angry with me I give her anything and everything she needs amazing home car private school and services for my son who has special needs Private Preschool so she can get a break from the little one Etc but she is constantly complaining that my children barely know me she never sees me Etc we had a big fight last week that resulted in me spending the night at a teammate's house and she's been giving me the silent treatment since then really I want to tell her how she ruined my childhood by babysitting me before I was ready but I know that would end our relationship we've been together for so long and I don't want to leave her but I resent her is our relationship salvageable should I give up edit for those of you saying I was an adult 18 is still very much a teenager and you know it I have spoken to my wife on the phone I just left this morning again for training and was posting on the car ride there and it was reassuring she has no intentions of divorcing me for those of you who say that is the best option she said to herself that I am a wonderful father and husband and she apologized to me I don't know how reddit's Judgment of me can be so incredibly skewed I just want some peace for my family edit too well I just got off the phone with my wife or should I say exwife she saw the Reddit post as a friend sent it to her I guess she went completely off the rail and I had to hang up on her at one point she is at her mom's house with the kids right now my life has been completely ruined I am devastated and hope that we can somehow repair this thanks for the genuine advice given to those giving it when she called me back after I hung up on her she said she'd be filing for divorce in the morning comments Christopherson Allen man you sure did come here trying to make yourself look good after getting destroyed by your other post op I'm not trying to make myself look good just presenting the facts of the situation and getting my thoughts and feelings off of my chest no one needs to take my side but this is how I feel and I'm extremely distraught about the situation competitive staff 38 aims get a effing therapist then Lord buff 74 that would eat into his training and hanging with the boy time op I don't think I'm the one who needs a therapist my wife has suffered severe trauma too from her childhood when both of her parents abandoned her when she was young she used to have a therapy but stopped going a lot of the problems started then Jos burlet bro just leave you clearly despise and resent your wife op I don't despise her I do resent her but I want to fix that I don't want to throw away 12 years of my life I also don't want to be paying her spousal support or child support as I know she's not very good with finances and I'm worried my children would not even see any of the funds melodic salamander 55 you can file for full custody then since you're such a hands on D Rosalie 83 he's not around enough for that you need to be present to be a custodial parent op if we get divorced I definitely will there's no way I'm paying her child support when I know she won't spend the money on my children melodic salamander 55 how do you plan to win any custody when by your own accounts you're busy with your team when's the last time you bought your kids clothes on your own without your wife's input how often do you grocery shop alone when was the last time you attended a pediatric appointment without your wife holding your hand op I have a great lawyer I am a standup guy a hard worker and I have access to child care when I'm away my wife on the other hand would be unemployed with a history of Mental Hospital admissions in college I would be able to get custody easily and already have private nannies and tutors lined up if needed do 98837 the facts are that no one stole your childhood but you you choose to have irresponsible SX you choose to date and marry someone you don't want to you chose to be irresponsible again and impregnate her again you chose a career where she has to do 99% of the parenting throwing money at your kids doesn't make you a datb op irresponsible SX by that you mean SX with a monogamous partner using birth control did that result in an unwanted pregnancy okay she knew what career I chose before she pursued me while I was still in high school husband and Dad of the Year also has two deleted follow-up posts contents also so deleted how do you deal with the regret in R ask parents I wish I was childree in rchill defree third story op's brother's girlfriend fakes a pregnancy to stay at her house my F20 brother 24 has been on and off with his girlfriend 27 for a couple of years now it's been the same song and dance they're happy for a few weeks then something small happens they argue it gets really nasty and they make up and go back to a loving couple when I learned my brother got kicked out of his apartment and needed a place to stay I offered him the extra room in my apartment and my brother agreed to pay rent help with bills and pitch in with food for 3 months now she's been announcing she's pregnant she alone will eat a snack box with 50 small bags of chips in a week I tried to reason with her and get her to cut back not only from overeating but she was running us low on food but she insists she and the baby are healthy and it's just Cravings since last month most of what my parents sent to my house my mom is a cener so she bulk shops and gives away what she has too much of my brother's girlfriend is the first to get into it and a large portion of it is gone by a few days to a week from a 24 case monster the energy drink if you're not familiar eight will be gone in a week from just her she eats a hell of a lot of food too most of which no pregnant woman should be consuming so much of and yes I know all pregnancies are different but words can't explain how much she eats in one sitting so today I saw her drinking coffee and after her second cup I asked her if she should be drinking so much and she said her doctor told her it was fine and she had no worries when I suggested she take on a healthier diet for the baby she just scoffed and walked out I went and asked my brother if he'd been to any of her doctor's appointments or even seen a positive pregnancy test and he said he hadn't I confronted her about it and she said she didn't have to prove anything and started to get defensive I told her she needed to show a test or some proof of going to the doctor or she needed to move out as she doesn't help at all my brother started to offending her and changed his answer from not seeing any proof to seeing her pregnancy test my parents got word of what I said and my mom says I was in no place to say anything every woman's body is different and I wouldn't know since I've never been pregnant a verdict NTA edit I did talk to her a while ago about getting a job as well as helping out financially and she said she'd start and never has right so based on the majority of the comments I overstepped yes but I'm going to go with my gut on this one and give them their 30-day notice and call it a day I'll for sure update you guys in a month when they're to be gone and let you all who's interested know what's happened by then I keep repeating myself let me add that my brother knows everything I've said the excessive caffeine no ultrasound Etc yes my brother still buys her tampons monthly and I know this because he goes with me when I buy mine no I was not faking concern about the coffee comment she drinks two cups of coffee a day along with a monster that's a ton of caffeine update okay so I gave my brother and his girlfriend 30 days notice and they were to leave this Friday but as of last Friday I have my place to myself again basically they fed me a bunch of Lies since I gave them the 30-day notice first it was she can't get an appointment or an ultrasound because of all of the covid patients then my brother's girlfriend shows me a sonogram picture from her phone that I later found on Google Images I asked why it was on her phone and she said it was emailed to her after her doctor's appointment which she couldn't get then my brother brought home baby clothes last week to sell the lie I guess but they weren't clothes for a newborn it was a lot of 912 months and 2 months when I asked him why there were no proper clothes for newborns he said so he can grow into them I was told she was pregnant with a girl I didn't bother to ask any more questions because I knew it was going to be lies on top of Lies then Friday I got home to find them arguing and at each other's throats eventually I called the cops because they weren't letting up at this point they had both come to terms with the truth Brothers truth his girlfriend is the reason he was kicked out of his place she needed a place to stay because her parents kicked her out so she forced him to let her stay at my house by faking being pregnant he said after the first month he knew she wasn't pregnant because she got her period but she forced him to keep up the lie so I'd let her stay gf's truth brother invited her to stay at my place and to make sure I wouldn't say no he told her to fake a pregnancy and I'd be simp sympathetic I won't go into detail but I'm 100% certain that part she said was true and I wouldn't question her using tampons as he'll make up a lie for her she said he told her to eat up all of the food because it would make it all seem legit fo that's about all I'm still unsure who's telling the truth but they both got all of their belongings and went their own way I assume so it's not my problem anymore thank you for watching the video if you are interested in listening to these kinds of stories we've got more in store for you simply subscribe to our Channel hit the like button and share it with your friends

Channel: SecretVoices

Views: 24,820

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, reddit confessions, entitles parents, reddit storytime, r/confession, r/entitledparents, r/entitledpeople, entitled people, r/IDOWorkHereLady, IDOWorkHereLady, Idontworkherelady, personalfinance, AmITheA**hole, AITA, Karen, Karen strories, Karen getting owned, letsnotmeet, Disturbing stories, real stories

Id: -tSkjGAQlUw

Length: 24min 33sec (1473 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 29 2024