-Welcome, everybody. Welcome.
Have a seat, enjoy yourself. Welcome to "The Tonight Show."
Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here.
[ Cheers and applause ] You can feel that energy.
I love it. Well, guys, today,
President Biden held a meeting with the C.E.O.s
of Amazon, Apple, and Microsoft to discuss the growing threat of
cyberattacks and data leaks. They've got their
work cut out for them, because right before
the meeting, you could hear a voice say, [ Russian accent ]
"Ready when you are." [ Laughs ] Yeah, it was a good meeting,
although Biden's at that age where he puts the word "the"
before anything tech-related, like, "I order from
the Amazon all the time. I just type it into the Google." At 78, Biden might not
seem like the right guy to handle this, but trust me,
no one is better equipped at stopping leaks. -Ah! [ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you. -Depend.
-Here's some big news. Today, Johnson & Johnson
announced that a booster shot of their vaccine provides a
robust increase in antibodies. [ Cheers and applause ] It's kind of like
Chef Boyardee saying, "Our new sauce
is robust in flavor." Well, guys,
if doctors aren't busy enough, they're now dealing with
the latest online trend. Listen to this. -There is another
dangerous Internet challenge that people should be
watching out for. -It's something called the
Milk Crate Challenge. Doctors warn it could land you
on a trip to the E.R. -Half of Americans said,
"Of course," while the other half said, "It's my choice, and I want to
do my own research." No. Don't do that. Seriously, imagine surviving
a global pandemic, then having your family find out
it's the Milk Crate Challenge is what got you. Some business news. Today, OnlyFans
decided to drop their plan to ban
sexually explicit content. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-Wow! Whole corner of them.
-Yeah. So, between this and
the new "Spider-Man" trailer, what a week for teenage boys. You know what I'm saying?
[ Cheers and applause ] That's right -- OnlyFans will keep allowing
sexually explicit content. Thank goodness,
because without this, who knows where you'd be able to
find that stuff online. You know what I'm saying? Well, get this -- I saw that you
can rent a vacation cabin in Oklahoma that's completely
decked out with Nerf toys. Check this out. -Ooh! -Yeah. Yeah, it's great if
you're training your kid to be the next John Wick. It's like 30 guns. And, finally,
as part of their new fall menu, Starbucks has added a new drink,
the Apple Crisp Macchiato. In response, the
Pumpkin Spice Latte was like, "Oh, it's on. Let's go." Hey, I just wanted to say
congrats to Olivia Rodrigo. Spotify just named her song
"good 4 u" as the official song
of the summer. [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. Good for her. -I thought it was "good 4 u." -Right, but good for her for
being named song of the summer. -Hmm. Olivia Rodrigo. -Yes. -And she did that song about
the actor she broke up with? -It's just rumors. -I thought "Rumors" was Lizzo. -"Rumors" is Lizzo and Cardi B. You're thinking of
"drivers license." -So "driver's license"
is rumors? -A little bit.
-Song by Nelly. -No, no, "Lil Bit" is by
Florida Georgia Line with Nelly. -But "drivers license"
is rumors? -Correct. -And "Rumors" is
"drivers license"? -No. "Rumors" is Lizzo. -Are you sure "Rumors"
isn't Fleetwood Mac? -It's a different "Rumours." We're talking about "drivers license" by
Olivia Rodrigo. -Oh, wow, déjà vu. -"Deja vu" is also
Olivia Rodrigo. Higgins,
we can't keep doing this. -Bad habits? -Ed Sheeran.
Can we move on? -Sure. Don't let me hold you up. -Hey, whoa, whoa! Hey, Higgins,
what are you eating there? -Butter. -Higgins, Higgins,
that's really not -- -Not what? -Good for you. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause continue ] -That's what you pay to... -Yeah. -You aren't going to
Cape It, are you? -No. You think I should? [ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah. -I haven't put a cape on
in a -- Well... [ Cheers and applause ] I haven't put a cape on
in a while. [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪ -♪ Capes ♪ ♪ Capes ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah, capes ♪ -Guys, it's hard to believe that
it's been over a year and a half since we all got on Zoom,
and, yet, some people are still getting
the hang of it, even people on the news. So you know what that means. It's time for
another installment of "Greatest Moments
in Zoom History." Enjoy.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Kelsey is with us this morning.
Kelsey, good morning. Oh, can we not hear him?
-Can you hear him? -I can't hear him.
-I can't hear him either. -Uh-oh. Are you on mute? -There we go. -We had you for a second. Nope. -[ Speaking native language ] ♪♪ [ Speaking native language ] -Kids do it --
YouTube kits do it, and the BBC are also now
embracing this. Why -- I apologize for
my cat's tail. Why are you not doing
this by default? -That dude vaping in bed?
-Vaping. Vaping in bed. -There you have it.
