*theme song* Welcome to another episode of Ethan and Hila Today we got a little something on deck here This was from one of our suggestion threads from a couple of months ago actually from a dude named Epitri he says this is my actual dentist. i discovered this video when i decided to look up his alter ego, named Jimmy Lee The Jersey Outlaw. a name which is displayed at the top of his music albums that he gives out to his patients after each visit so, that's the base of the story and i just love the detail that he- that the dentist is actually handing out the muscial cds to his patients. that he- that the dentist is actually handing out the muscial cds to his patients. *Hila laughs* here we go, we- we present to you one fucked up dentist, a TV pilot Jimmie Lee The Jersey Outlaw this is the pilot for television made by made by a grown man -God... a grown man who is also a highly trained professional that we trust with very delicate and expensive work in a very vulnurable part of our body in a very vulnurable part of our body *winks* also, didn't he say, in the comment that he stopped using that dentist yeah, he said- he stopped using him frankly i don't blame the guy -frankly i don't blame the guy
-i don't blame the guy but you guys don't even know where were coming from so let's just...
-but even just the format the whole f- the whole idea that your dentist is like 'hey check out my mixtape, it's fire as fuck' 'hey check out my mixtape, it's fire as fuck'
-yeah it's like, ok, dope, i'll be sure to do that. and also to never come see you again and also to never come see you again
-yeah *song from the video plays* one fooked up dennis a.k.a. one fucked up dentist -that's-
-clever play on words already a joke it's a joke are you laughing or what? i've already got a joke, and i'm only at the credits [Hila laughs] What more can you ask for? [Hila laughs] -This guy's on fire. "Hey!" "I'm one fucked up dentist." [laughter] Wat? Can I say, wat? This is a TV pilot. -in this guy's mind. [Hila] It's serious. TV execs are watching this and being like "This guy has got something here." Hey! I'm one fucked up dentist. [laughter] Wh-The thing that's fucked up is that he's a real dentist! [Hila] yeah. So when he's saying hey I'm one fucked up dentist, hey little shop of horror, he's actually a real dentist! Like, you're talking about yourself! It's not- you're not playing a character, He's himself! As soon as I'll see something like that I will also not go back to this guy. No, dude! I don't wanna sh- I don't want to go to your little shop of horror. [Hila laughing] You know what I mean? No, man. [Ethan] Cancel all my appointments for the day! We've got more important work to do! [Hila] She's really into it, that girl there. [Ethan] The girl in front? Yeah. Yeah she yeah she's She's probably .. doing a little more than assisting him, you know what I mean? [Hila laughing] She's earning her, she's earning her wage right now, for real. *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* I can see why they did this, he's really a- he's a good dancer. [Hila] haha, yeah. [Ethan] I can see why they included this shot. It's funny, and he's a good dancer. He's got moves, and he's got grooves and he's got swag out the tush. He's got that. [Hila] hmm. Really- really funny. Just funny. he's just all around funny, entertaining guy, and I gotta say, got a lot of shine on his forehead. [Hila laughing] The shine levels are- I give it a 9 out of 10. The only, the only head-dome with d- with a cleaner shine is Captain Picard. [Hila laughing] This guy is exploring brave new worlds. [Jimmy] Hey baby, I'm back! Hey! It's a celebration! Jimmy, where ya been? I don't know if you guys heard I'm not singing anymore I don't crew no more, I'm the dentist now. [Ethan] Hey! Hey! I'm back! [Hila] It's a celebration! [Ethan] Where ya been? Hey! I'm one fucked up dentist, huh? [Hila] Dennis. [Ethan] I'm one fucked up Dennis! "But aren't you also a dentist?" Yeah! But my name is Dennis! Ey! [gibberish] [Jimmy] You son of a bitch! Come on! Come on! Come on! [Le Freak (Freak Out) by Chic starts playing] I.. have never been more confused as to what the fuck is supposed to be going on. This is.. just I am- I'm at a complete loss here. Lower it! Why does the gay guy™ always gotta sit next to me? [Ethan] Ohhh, he's a gay guy™! That's why he's acting like that. [Hila] He's gay? [Ethan] Yeah, he says 'Why does the gay guy™ gotta sit next to me'. He's a gay guy™. That explains his behaviour. [Hila] I didn't get that. Well yeah, that's why he's so flamboyant and uh, loud and obnoxious because he's gay. Obviously. I've been to a lot of dental offices but this is the mental office. Fucked up dentist! I'm outta here. [Ethan] Woaaaaaaah! Just because a gay guy™'s in the lobby. "This is one fucked up dentist!" "This is one fucked up dentist!" "Allowing gay people™ in here." "This is insane." You are definitely strange. I don't know about you. Are you a guy or a girl? I don't know. [Ethan] "Are you a guy or a girl?" C'mon.. [Hila] Very hard to tell. [Ethan] Come on guys. Come on Dennis, why you gotta be so fucked up, man? Okay, do you have insurance? Insurance? What do I look cheap? I got friggin cash, lady. Okay. Come back with me and I'll have you seated. And I got plenty of it. [knuckles crack] I want you to meet our dental assistant, Natalie. Ooh, how you doing? [Ethan] Oh HELL yeah. Was that the girl who was grinding up on him? [Hila] yup. [Ethan] Of course shes the SEXY one! [Hila] of course. [Ethan] Get a little play on the side, yeah. Nice low cut, baby. People need more of them titties, girl. Yes. YEss. [Ethan] Oh hELL YESSSS! [Hila laughing] [Hila] The fuck is that? This- this has gotta be some sort of froghead. (?) We'll be with you shortly. Shortly? Hold on, I'm hard- as jeopardy. [Hila] What? [Ethan] I'm hard as jeopardy? [Hila] Gross. [Ethan] haha, what the fuck? [Ethan stutters] [Hila] Did it just turn into a porn, all of a sudden? [Ethan] It seems like it, and it has the similar production quality. [Hila] Haha, yeah. [Ethan] Oh heLL YEAAAAAAAHHHHH! [Hila laughing] [Ethan] This guy's, this-this guy- you know why they chose him? He's the embodiment of male sex appeal in New Jersey. You know what I mean? This guy's a fucking player. [Hila] Yeah. [Ethan] Look at that body, dude! What a beefcake. This guy's fuckin.. jacked. C'mon, Hila. [Hila] "Hey, how you doin?" [Ethan] Hila. C'mon. Take a look at that body. You serious right now that's not turning you on like crazy? [Hila] Sounds like you're turned on. [Ethan] Look how jacked up that guy is he's got so much beef. So much muscle. So much flesh. He's a big guy, you could get lost in those muscles in the flesh. Bury myself in that. [Hila] Are you a guy or a girl? I can't tell anymore. [Jimmy] Hi, how ya doing shrffd? Who are you? [Jimmy] I'm the doctor. Doctor? [Ethan] You ain't no doctor dude, you're a fucking dentist, alright?! You're- you're not even a dentist, you're a Dennis. -as far as I know. I'm sick of dentists saying they're doctors. That's bullshit. I'm sick of doctors saying they're doctors, to be frank. I don't trust any of them. I don't want no doctor, I want the girl. [Jimmy] You want the girl? So what? [Jimmy] So then we'll have a threesome, we'll use both hands. Wait a minute, is this- this a massage parlour? [Jimmy] Yeah, it's a massage parlour. It's a discount massage parlour, pal. Self service. Thank you very much. [Jimmy] Where ya going? [inaudible] I guess, Natalie we're just gonna have to play with eachother tonight. [Natalie laughing] [Hila] Oh my god! [Ethan] Ohhhhhhhhhhh he's making it good! Wifey alert! Careful at home! [Hila] I told you, there's no wife anymore. [Ethan] The sexual tension is uncontrollable between the two of those people, isn't it? [Hila] This is gross. [Jimmy] A P T [All] Always Pull Teeth! [Lauren] So if you're such a rich dentist, why are you coming here to help us? [Jimmy] I'm not a rich dentist Lauren, I'm a fucked up dentist! You see this watch? I stole it from a patient! [Ethan] I wan- I wanna go to this guy's practice. I want this guy to be my dentist. [Hila] He tells his patients to actually go check him out and they watch this. [Ethan] Hey, thanks for coming by, appreciate ya, Go watch my parody- go watch my TV pilot where- where I steal from my patients. While they're out. You see this chair you're laying in here? Well I had a big fucking husky shirtless guy laying here. He was masturbating. It's funny. Check out that movie. [Jimmy] Now brainoes think about this. Once you pull the teeth, Then you make the dentures. Hello? [sounds of agreement] Money? Get it, you idiots? Calm down, one fucked up dentist! We're right here, relax. [Ethan] They call him One Fucked Up Dentist? That's his name? [Hila] This is the main joke here. [Ethan] That- that is the driving force. [Hila] That is the punchline of the show. [Ethan] That's the driving force. It's that one fucked up dentist play on words. And it's very clever. I could see myself creating a show all around that. [Hila] It's just so funny. [Ethan] It's hilarious. I'm laughing about it everytime. Like, I need to pause the video to collect myself because I can't- it's hilarious. One f- one fucked up dentist. [Hila laughing] [Ethan] C'mon, that's comedy gold. [Jimmy] I know you're yerran (?) but if you can't pull teeth and you don't like it here, leave! Let me tell you guys something. These are the dentures. They come after you pull the teeth. They're gold, but Lori they're not for you. They're for closers, that pull teeth. [Ethan] I wonder who they showed this to, how far did they get in actually trying to pitch this to television. [Hila] Every patient. [Ethan] Every fucking patient, that's right. He's passed out a lot of CDs. You know, New Jersey's pretty close to us. I wonder if we could get a cameo from one fucked up dentist. [Hila] Oh my god.. [Corporal] Well since I'm here maybe, maybe have somebody look at my tooth. Can I have your name? My name's Corporal Captain Ness from [inaudible] U.S. army retired. Do you have your records? Yeah, here they are, I got them. Records! [Hila] What? [Ethan] Ohhh godd what the fuck! He wrote that just for that shit?! That's too much! That's too much for me. [Hila] In a way, that was the first funny joke here. [Ethan] That was the first like thought- that was the first setup and punchline. The- the one two, know what I mean? [Hila] You got any records? [Ethan] I don't. Sorry. [Jimmy] Open up for me. Okay, now don't move. No anaesthesia for this patient. Okay. Alright. [Ethan] I like that he's just got teeth hanging around. [Hila] Because he's a Real™ dentist. [Ethan] He's got a fucking jar of teeth just hanging around. [Jimmy] The extractions, Natalie are all done. [Natalie] Doc, he came in for a FILLING. Not an extraction! [Jimmy] What?! [Natalie] A filling! [Jimmy] No, he came in for extractions! [Natalie] No, no, no... [Ethan] Y-You could have told him that earlier! You were there the whole time, why did you wait for him to pull all the teeth out? Fuckin' plot hole. I'm holding this guy to a high standard, alright? [Jimmy] How you doing baby? [Natalie] Mm I'm doing great. [Jimmy] Great. [Natalie] Yeah you know I love dentists too, because they know when to pull out right at the right time. [[They know how to pull out right at the right time.]] [Hila] EWWWWW They're old! [Ethan] That's a bit much. [Hila] IT's tOO GROSS [Ethan] I'm not sure; that; you want your patients to see. [Hila] I don't want anyone to see this. [Jimmy] Well grab on to this baby, maybe you'll think your hands have shrunk. [Natalie laughs] [Ethan] "Maybe you'll think your hands have shrunk"?? [Both] Oh god.. [Jimmy] I got 4 inches for you baby right here, you may not like it that wide. [Ethan] You might not like it that wide. [Hila] ohh oh. [Ethan] See that was- it's 4 inches wide. So bas- so basically what he's saying is he's got a tumorous, -a tumorous lesion growing out of his crotch. [Hila] What is 4 inch? It's like this much. [Ethan] 4 inches is like- I mean that is a big boy. That is a fucking beer can. [Jimmy] You might not like it that wide. [Ethan] You're looking at something grotesque. No question about it. [Hila] I definitely am looking at something grotesque right now. [Ethan] Hulk, Hulk penis. Imagine the Hulk, when he goes green. His penis. That's about 4 inches wide probably. [Natalie] You know, I love magic tricks. [Jimmy] Here's one for ya. Pick a number between 68 and 70. [Natalie cackles] [Ethan] What's that joke? [Hila] 69. [Ethan] Oh. Fuc- GODDD It's so stUPID! [Hila] It's so gross and stupid. [Ethan] It's like a 10 year old joke. [Hila] It's a 10 year old.. In a dad form.. [Ethan] Sexualized. [Hla] You know what I mean? [Ethan] Like a-a child's joke in a grown man's form, sexualized. Like the levels of cringe, [Hila] It's the worst thing ever, pretty much. [Ethan] Yeah, it's- it's as bad as it gets. Check out my, uh, pilot. Thank you. See you next week. [Jimmy] I did a girl so good last night Natalie, that the police came three times. [Ethan] The police? What is that implying? Why are the police involved? They came three times.. Oh maybe on a noise complaint? [Hila] ...I guess. [Ethan] Don't fuck around with- with sex and police in the same joke. It's.. [Hila] Yeah, it doesn't make sense. [Ethan] You might- you may create the wrong ideas. [Jimmy] You go to school? [Natalie] Yeah, yeah I'm- [Jimmy] Graduate with me and you'll graduate mag and come loudly. (?) [Jimmy] You like French food? [Natalie] Love- I love French food yeah. [Jimmy] BONE appetite baby. [Ethan] Goddamn, dude. You gotta love that, that ..Hip thrust. [Hila] "Bon appetite baby!" [Ethan] With a little hip thrust to the face with somebody crotch level. Nothing like that, huh? [Hila] Bon appetite. *Ethan cringe* [Jimmy] What's your line of work? [Natalie] Oh, oh I'm in the, uh, computer industry. [Jimmy] That's nice. You could come over to my place and play with my hard drive. I'll download you, unzip you, and I'll gigabite you all night long until you dot com baby. [Natalie] Click click click.. [Jimmy] Hell with YouTube, how about my tube? Welcome to MySpace, baby. I'm gonna login, and you Yahoo. [both] YaaaaHoooo! *Little Shop of Horrors theme plays* [Ethan] It finished really strong. [Hila] This is- this is what it was waiting for and then it just unloaded. [Ethan] mm hmm. Literally. [Hila] Literally. [Ethan] Literally unloaded. Thank you so much for watching, guys. Please remember to subscribe to One Fucked Up Dentist, he's a great guy, great comedy, please check him out, he's going to big places, so.. ..probably catch him this coming up fall on NBC's new lineup primetime baby, primetime. Keep a lookout, okay? Thanks for watching, guys. We appreciate ya, we love ya, so much. [Both] Bon appetite baby. *theme song plays*
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to watch. Hard as Jeopardy.
I'm sorry but I just couldn't finish watching that. The cringe was so strong that not even Ethan and Hila could help me.
When the dentist pulls out at the right time
/u/Epitri, check it.
Oh god the Michael Scott levels are off the charts. Actually that's unfair to Michael, this guy's got a much stronger rape element.
Also, adorable that Hila said 'a porn'.
Hila was on fire today! Bon Appetite Baby ;)
Can anybody please make a gif of when Hila pauses and says "That's gross"? Please, I need the memes, my family is starving.
I knew when that man starting taking off his shirt that we were getting into some deep shit.
Hila's slowly but surely becoming confident in front of the camera now. Its beautiful. Preciate chya