Not-Actually-Lego Special! | Ashens

hello you know I think Lego might be one of the most copied toy systems in the world and in order to back up this theory I'm gonna get loads of fake Lego and shove it in front of your faces starting with tat co-pirate series 52 pieces of joy yes there really is a company called tat Co apparently registered trademark and everything I can only presume they hail from a foreign land where tat code doesn't literally mean rubbish company and yes you get all the things you would expect um give what's in the box and not three sad onions and all that sort of stuff and well pirate series I'm not really getting this right rather the pirate you appear to have a mentally ill World War one German soldier wearing a comedy false mustache an eyepatch standing at the top of what the hell is it it's like a balcony suspended in the middle of nowhere with a spiral staircase going up to it's like MC Escher scaffolding what how is that anything to do with a pirate I suppose have boats and galleons and ninjas and all that kind of stuff not whatever the flippin hell that is a balcony to nowhere with a dangerous staircase like something out of hog holes anyway um look instructions on the back oh good I have a horrible thing there to be the only instructions finished you will be well it's actually like incisor or stickers and take them over and it looks mmm hard to say it looks slightly less high - Oh My giddy aunt blimey that genuinely scared me slightly right well I suppose I'm gonna have to build this thing and then we'll give it some sort of verdict back in a sec bloody hell I've seen some crap in my time but well let's look at this objectively the actual plastic the stuff is made out of is fairly good the bricks themselves fit together and they come apart okay without breaking so that's all positive you know it doesn't feel quite as solid as a Lego but it's not bad what is bad of course other than the fact that this design is just something that should not exist is a fact it's really really badly engineered it's I don't know who came up this idea it's structurally stupid everything is held together by tiny little parts and there's nothing reinforcing anything so the slightest touch of it and it all just crumbles away into nothing very odd also there were no instructions for the stickers which was quite irritating especially because one of the ones on the box doesn't actually come with it so I had to substitute it for something else and then I wouldn't put these stickers on upside down because I thought they were windmills but it turns out it's some sort of castle over cross trifles motif anyway yeah that's that's the Pirates lookout that's let let's call it that insane you want to see the pirate this is his back no I don't know why his helmet has no back to it but he has got tat co-written on him to show his willingness to plug the company and here he is looking nothing like the one on the box this guy is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder something is horrible let talk about a thousand yard stare this is like a thousand million miles day and know his arms don't move very well did you get that and the legs don't fit together basically the figures are shite with this range but really it is the face that makes everything he has seen horrors that most men could not imagine one of which is his collar anyway something different but something different I mean something's very similar it's this one no I can't pronounce that but it's from a company called Kobe and it's a Polish product yep I'd guess that by the name and it appears to be some sort of terrifyingly maniacally face goodness knows where there's heavily medicated psychopath who's running along with some medieval weaponry in front of a cannon and a smashed up wall because all kids really want smashed up walls Grunwald 1410 with pocha preusse key hello 50 pieces goods and takes long to put together as the last one and weirdly no it's a half foot the box round nothing changed oh my God look what's his face ready don't Dan he's clocked you turn it over and he stares into your soul and he sat on ins on here how here the standard naught 2 3 mmm well let's open this up and see how blow me it's a little tight not anymore isn't oh look parts are on a sprue pro-equality here and the figures got the total grey skin and the nose to be like mr. data from Star Trek and proper instructions and already the pieces feel very high-quality I'm holding out good hopes for this one all right let's take it together and see what occurs well I managed to build the wall but it committed the cardinal sin of Lego products by having a part missing so I've been unable to complete the cannon very very poor and it's a real shame because this actual stuff is great it's really high-quality all fits together nicely it's got nicely designed pieces it's just that it's not actually all here which is a real shame oh well let's look at the man then have you had enough looking at the man yet trying to take his hat off Oh his legs are looser than I expected yeah we've got kind of a mmm yeah mmm needs sort of marker pen face going on here which is freaking me out slightly Deary me I recognize these actually I think I'd ever reviewed a blind bag of this before something to do with them animals or something anyway that's irrelevant another annoying thing that came up actually if I can find the instruction yes is it shows you a round shield that goes in the figures hand which is really irritating this is actually a square one so you spend ages thinking where's the bloody shield gone because of course this doesn't look much like a shield unless you've noticed it on the front cover something I do like though is that they give you loads of stickers so you're gonna have all different term houses and pretend you're playing Game of Thrones or something although disappointingly a lot of them are for shields or things you don't actually get in this set so that is a bit of a shame oh well Coby you are probably the best of the fake Lego we've seen so far but you've got parts missing and that is inexcusable yeah right next how about some urban export featuring a terrifying yellow robot block tech construction blocks marvelous this appears to be one of these really cheap Lego clones where you only have a couple of bits and lots of stickers one sticker sheet included personalize your own vehicle here quality blocks compatible with other leading brands 37 pieces that's a fairly simple thing here Tao what's on the back not to 300 dear that's a new sad onion on this all the large nose looks a little bit upset it's the overly melancholy onion the onion that's in detention that's what it looks like the sulking child onion that'll teach him for damaging the blackboard or something oh well what's it like inside then answer oh my god really should have cut that sellotape first and since i was quite impressed by the box then i saw that that's all you get let's hope this wasn't too expensive I can't even remember if I bought it or I sent it now that's so much of this stuff instructions that's a good start parts that's another good start right see you in a minute ah yes fan block tech is pretty good yeah high-quality pieces fit together nicely don't get much of it and some of them a bit cheaty like these giant chassis lumps here but hey what more do you want how about a flag that says winner fast-fast whoever owns this buggy really wants you to know that it's not slow actually who does own this buggy this freak why is going on he's got the world's biggest chin really evil eyebrows and is wearing a tie along with his construction worker uniform and apparently he's a sheriff or something so just got like a really elongated leg go ahead oh my goodness I'd forgotten just how evil he was do you take his hat off don't quite understand this I think I might actually keep these figures and start some kind of Museum of terrifying construction figures hmm this will be what greets you as you walk in the door if we ever get it in focus right time for another one how about a robot fighter there was apparently three dollars from somewhere in America one presumes could be Australian and he's got guns in his knees what more could anybody ask for oh god 137 pieces doesn't it take ages to put together well what have we got anyway tracker who looks like a Japanese pagoda menace aw is that what this is yes I think it is there is menacing people with his gated guerrilla arms and defense aw who's like a brick quite literally and apparently his arms move and so does his other arm and his leg goes up a bit marvellous but more than anyone ever asked for made in China why am I not surprised nor to 3sat onions hooray it's been a good day the salaries this is from Family Dollar Services Limited what a lovely name Family Dollar services we service all known dollars right open er up Oh company by the way is roma there we are that sort of that out hello girl tends to be a bigger windows logo i need tons of it no proper instructions oh good god this is going to take me like the rest of my life I'll see you after I'm dead blimey if this thing was any uglier it'd be in a Michael Bay movie wow it's like blocks with with sort of her head and disappointing actually one of the parts was missing again I managed to a fumble it together with a couple of spare bits actually looks better it's got little eyes he little gray bit would have been square previously but hey I'm still not massively impressed by this it's like a sort of weird incredibly pointed action figure that's also very fragile for instance let's move his legs which only move bizarrely at the ankle and up there and old ones come off never mind he can still old that his groins fell off that upset him later but oh oh don't worry he can now stop the evil toons always evil I don't know he doesn't know himself but at least his hate doesn't come off whilst every other part does with minimal effort and the actual blocks again are pretty good and they stayed together fairly well it's just you know the design of it based on lots of very tiny weak spots oh well never mind perhaps the world will save itself last up how about some micro blocks these are things that inexplicably appeared in power ladder then disappeared very quickly also look at the face on that good grief looks like some sort of mutant lemon sucker yeah this is by block tech who we've seen previously but for some reason the blocks are much smaller but the figures are the same size I'm very confused by this what said to me though is that the wheels are square and come on kids want things with wheels that turn is not much to ask also upsets me is it's a hundred and eighty four pieces this is going to take forever when I tell you what I'm just going to build the police car that will give us some idea I would like some idea of scale actually having this thing this tiny tiny little Lego four tiny little no men to build things from and here's the terrifying dayglo bits of the figures and it's your face oh my go my goodness and hang on hang on look you can't have one face that's like really nuanced and another one that's just that that is genuinely frightening or oh they exist in the same universe and the pieces are so tiny well I'm going to make myself a police car then after that I'm going to put this Lego kit together see in a minute well here we go micro blocks to the rescue if it's something the police respond to my taking ball to get there with their giant square wheels but such is life yeah but there is something aesthetically pleasing about blocks this small being made to build something but it's very odd that they're mixed in the figures with experia don't fit physically or aesthetically actually isn't happening I mean this was a right pain in the ass to put together as well I mean some of the pieces and that small so where you need some sort of tweezers and microscope thing going on to put them together but hey for something from power lad it's pretty nifty you can sit over them and we'll try and get the police inside you to respond to her do why give us figures vest lock no block take oh my god I keep getting all the names confused I mean perhaps had a load left over the warehouse or something the weird thing is though and the block take one we had earlier the figure was a different construction look the arms are different the hands are different and they don't really look some rattle and goodness knows what's going on to the giant chin of course that is just frightening that and all the policeman is reduced to is a pair of angry eyes moon oh nope their helmets never coming off so that's the end of that then but here's the man who drives the fire this is not a man who combats fires this is a man who starts fires probably with his mind that's just really eerie basic Lego figure mockery isn't it also the legs seem to be slightly too small something yeah something going on there oh well there we go there's some fake Lego to annoy the kids with it Christmas things like Coby there is a pretty good replacement for Lego and of course a fraction of the price as Lego is stupidly expensive the downside of course is that there was a bit missing which is always inexcusable in any sort of building toy well there's only one thing left to do now take in the beauty of the figures you I've just remembered what this figure reminds me of weekend at Bernie's look it's Bernie's corpse at their to parading around as if it's still alive hello I'm reporting from the center the passions of the quest for the game child the film that finally answers the question where does ashens get the stuff he reviews without using the real answer of donations and eBay anyway lots of people have asked me where can I see behind the footage stuff although not quite as animatedly as that the answer is on the multiverse 2 channel I think it might summer it might be a multiverse one look I'll put links for both and you can subscribe to both of them is free and then you can see the stuff you want to see when it comes out bye

Channel: ashens

Views: 801,338

Rating: 4.9377823 out of 5

Keywords: lego, fake, knock-off, rip-off, missing parts, micro blox, brick tech, coby, tatco, pirate, balcony, spiral staircase, scary, creepy, figures, weird, ashens, review, funny

Id: HZlo1PBOB2Y

Length: 15min 2sec (902 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 21 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/theyeti79]

That made me laugh. Got the 3 woma robots for my 5 year old son and they do fall apart very easily when you attempt to move their legs/arms