Norm Macdonald on Conan 2010-2011

I mix it [Applause] [Music] [Applause] see norm thank you so much have a seat normal you've been saying so nice of you to stop buying you well I want to drop by show my respects you know well you know for you to bring a basket commemorating sort of the the tough situation I'm in is really nice that's not what that is well what is this basket for this is an older basket I I procrastinate as you know and this is a basket I got you back in June wait a minute wait a minute Ron you've had this basket since June I've seen you you've been on the show like three times why didn't you ever give me the basket I keep forgetting but I wanted you to know I bought it it was $60 I wouldn't open it I think it would smell what is a card also I yeah I see that it says congrats that's that's terrific well I don't know that can I read it yeah why not congratulations Conan and finally securing your place as permanent host of The Tonight Show [Music] that's something they could never take away from it it is perhaps the shrewdest programming decision every day by the NBC brain trust sure the pressure is on but if I know you Conan O'Brien miserable failure is not an option you're the new king of late-night the king [Applause] [Music] with Norm Macdonald please welcome Norm Macdonald [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] can do norm you came charging out with yeah because Pierce audience I don't care about that why LA jokes flags then your flag yeah they got flexing their scoring you you've got three nines and an eight so far for your entrance from man oh sweet that's enough Sweden yeah god Bless You Man everything's good about you know well you're an Irishman I mean mother she was orange we father he was green it was the biggest mix-up that you have ever time Scottish I'm a Scot you're Irish yes what are you uh Swedish German Swedish jerk are you really here really why would I lie about that it's not funny it's a very strange line I put one over on those people yeah Swedish German tell you why it's funny man cuz I was in I was in Georgia Atlanta Georgia yeah I've had a good old boy down there and he said have you ever he said you know Andy Richter yeah yeah he did huh you met a guy in George and he said you know Andy Rick oh yeah you do guys who well they're hello and he said I say yeah he said he ever heard of Andy Richter joke I said no he said well most of his based on them being a Swedish German I mean he told me an Andy Richter joke really but I didn't know yes we're sure uh that was all nonsense yeah well now this lines up perfectly let me ask you something cuz it sort of relates to the first letter I want to hear the joke you gotta sit your down to six alright this joke will get you back up and get him back okay the joke barley fella says he says man he says you ever teared of time about the old prospector that's how you tell you yeah he says that he says man there was no prospector and he was prospecting for gold he was having a hell of a time getting any gold there was an empty stake I believe and he said he'd come into town he'd been he'd been in the mind for a good eight months he said by God he said I'm only I'm only flesh and blood sure yeah and I need I need a woman you know and so he goes into town he goes up to bar Texas bartender he says man I've been in that mine for a hell of a long time and I'm only flesh and blood I need a woman well a bartender says hell ain't no women in this town if you want to do any of that business oh we got is Andy Richter the Swedish German the prospect races no no he says hell I ain't into that funny stuff you know he says I'll be fine I so he goes back to his state you know and he's back in that mind man in six months pass any year passes and Conan you know people are weak man is made of flesh and pride as the Scriptures tell us and by god that old prospector finally broke to his knees and he said I'm no worse than over then he went back to the vile it was an eating man he says to the Berk that he says hell man I've been in that place two and a half years a man has needs and if you say there's no women in this here town he says well I'll have to go for Andy Richter the sweetest German uh-huh but he said listen now he says man I'm a tough old hombre you know and I got friends too I says I don't want anybody to know about this this is the back of the old day sure yeah I can tell by the accent yeah he says that got my cowpoke friends and so forth a hater had anybody know about this you know this got to be all secret nobody I say nobody can know about this bartender says well for people to know about how do you figure that he said well it says I don't know about it he says you'll know about it and director the Swedish German will know about it and the feller that has to hold down and you'll know about it why why because handy rip through the Swedish German you don't over that fun administrator at least you left me my dignity yeah like the way that story ended those nice your Gary point rape I would note [Applause] [Music] such an I was such a horrible man all right guys the cable but it's still valuable airtime I don't know about that in Georgia they say there's a whole sub-genre of Andy the Swedish German from the guys well you know what I asked you how are you yeah and you went into I believe a 48 minute joke was fantastic well now I have to take a commercial break are you kidding me what are you yes I'm about to grow my beard back the second stick around [Music] [Applause] we're back and we're at Noir McDonald and I'm gonna say and this is just based on the you know dis relates a little bit to the last segment yeah I love having you on the show but every time you're on the show I get one comment afterwards from people on the street people out in the world they say a lovelorn last night was he drunk they always ask me that no I explained to them that no you are not a drinking man but you are not but do you have any vices at all yeah well no I don't drink I don't do drugs but lately you know I've been spicing up the sex life sex life sex life by just saying it three times si that's your method of spicing it up my method is I decided to spice things up I got into do you know what S&M is yes I know what esta camp is it's the say no mass acoustic lifestyle okay and so I said I'll give it a whirl you know really I'll give it a whirl yeah Wow but I'll tell you something about this lifestyle first of all the thing they don't tell you is if you're a beginner you have to be the masochist really you have to be the one that's getting the players clearly you want to be the sadist yeah so so that's a gyp so I miss my lady friends and I'm still trying to understand why my lady friends sweet sweet girl and she is the safest haha and you have to have a safe word this is very very important about this yeah it's like when you say this word you know it's a safe word that means the person knows it you're not kidding around stops that doing whatever you do today for yeah and so anyways she's putting me through all sorts of that went you know sexual torture and so forth and what have you yeah then I say my safe word uh-huh what is it it's a boring that's a good too bad i like that i am going to return to my former sexual lifestyle oh yeah what's that it's trying to find a lady and convincing her to let me lie down on top of her it sounds so romantic the way you describe it a lie down on top of you and take a nap what do you I'm just say I'm very simple I really I don't need to know you know I don't need to know where they whip your balls around I miss it hold I miss an awful chunk of coal Eliza no Oh chicken call yeah yeah S&M apparently no that's what I was just trying I'm getting back to just lying on top of the lid okay all right which even that proves extraordinarily hurt okay norm you've got this new show sports show with nor McDonald's ice taken so many viagra now I'll tell you this what's that norm my doctor told me oh yeah on the same dose that they give to the donkey for the second show in Tijuana okay now for the second show you know I do I continue to have you on and I love it now the second show uh the sports show oh you'll love this program it's on Comedy Central okay so now you know you you're you are spies for long time you love sports and I'm just curious what's going on the world of sports right now that we should know what's in the news you Sportster uh-huh there's some about Arnold Schwarzenegger not really a sports story but I know he's wasn't mr. universe [Laughter] yeah people it's funny right people say hey oh how do you become the Governor of California he was mr. universe yeah that's right that's a bigger title yeah my lord yeah I'll tell you one thing man what I was watching the Mr Universe contest there last year mm-hmm and then a couple weeks later that mr. world on I said I think I'm gonna vote for that guy what mr. universe you see encompasses so much more than mr. world yeah yeah yeah but what are you asking you and I forget it that's going on in the world of sports oh yeah it's heard someone got a big award today Dennis Rodman yeah yes Dennis Rodman it is an interesting thing Dennis Rodman here's an interesting man you ever notice this yeah any young man yeah is it old man yeah but Gary old man is a young man you're back there almost at a perfect score for that one they just cheapen the Olympics so much so that wasn't like a great joke but it was just sell it to show it's like it was more a comment uh well you know we're almost out of time so if you were gonna make some comment about Dennis Rodman go they will have to get to it next time yeah cuz we're out of time aren't we jack hey what's that Jeff's going Oh dibs now it's come to life he's like stop it you got to stop it you got to make it stop what about Paul new man is an old man we got another one what about Gary man as a guy works over a comedy scene is that what happened here you fascinate me you fascinate me more than any other guest I've talked you know who have you cruel to see you never see The Hangover yeah that was an awesome movie yeah this is sequel yeah we're coming out and the directors coming up yes I love that guy Todd Phillips I was at a party with him on to a party todd phillips was at the party yeah he's pretty cool who else well he's coming out in just a minute i if there's still time but i'm gonna get him out of my awesome sports show at noir mcdonald airs Tuesdays at 10:30 on Comedy Central Norm Macdonald [Applause] [Music] [Applause] my next gas is one of the top tractors today he directed due-date old school in the highest-grossing comedy of 2009 The Hangover his new movie The Hangover Part 2 opens Friday please welcome Todd Phillips [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hi good to see it's gonna see too you know yeah sorry to interrupt but they were doing my mic backstage and I really just caught the end of that joke do you mind repeating it we said okay yeah start that again widget norm Thank You Bella Swedish yeah there was a Swedish German guy named Andy Richter and you guys were to party together we were at a party Nevermore are we allowed to even mention whose party it was cuz it's uh Oh Jay Leno's No [Applause] it's actually not young he would not have a party a party no we were at Jimmy Kimmel's house and there's a party for how it's nice yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah first guys into in like 12 years but it was fun seeing time man the hangover was awesome I hope the second ones yeah my son was like I don't know how they can do it again yeah you realize you're not gonna get to any of your let's go it's pretty much over now no no don't apologize this is what happens when norm come but honest to god the hangover was one of Frank's moves I've ever seen in my life yeah well the hangover 2 is gonna be even better I hope yeah we use that for the poster yeah I saw the movie thought it was very funny I think and we had that yes well I get to see things that some of us get to see things a little early there pal you know you're just an old lump of coal it likes us and am I'm a guy like all you guys knit firm a the 26 right date you want to go to the Swiss Swedes no no no they're there they filed out they're not even putting up numbers yeah you

Channel: THE VIEW5652

Views: 1,286,487

Rating: 4.848979 out of 5

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Id: XeJvLRM9Otg

Length: 18min 49sec (1129 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 24 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/kaipapar]

I'll give it a Whirl...

[u/Don-Pheromone]

By saying it 3 times?

[u/egretsucks]

"Mr Universe" is one of my favorite Norm moments

[u/Matika7]

BOOOOOOO-RIIIIIIIIIIIING

[u/[deleted]]

one of my favorites.

BOORIIING

I like how Norm himself seems to admit it's a stupid joke at the end.

[u/drtreadwater]

sow sow sow sow sow sow

[u/FlowrollMB]

Reminds me of this time my wife fell into a coma...

[u/nothinginthisworld]

That’s something they can never take away from you