NORM MACDONALD has FUN with LETTERMAN

but anyway so I went to every guy you know on every doctor and I do a thing I have a little trick with the doctors I tell them symptoms I don't have so I get a thorough exam that's right go to the throat diner got my throat hurts all the time a constant pain in my throat the guy's like good lord so it gives me a real thorough and then the stomach doctor a real thorough you know I don't want to talk about the ass doctor but I go through all the doctors you know and I like wheezing and coughing and and so then I get the thorough examination and how did how did it turn out clean bill of health congratulations huge peace of mind for ya yeah that gives you it gives me peace of mind you know for a while because doctors really you know they can't that's all I can do is give you not bad news you know they can only tell you you have nothing they can't they never give you a good senator like the doctor or come out and go good news is the blood test came back you're immortal yeah that's not gonna happen you got nothing yeah keep coming back and I'll give you this piece of news it'll shatter your life but so anyways about six months later I decided I'll get me some life insurance because I have my kid that said he's got to be at least six I'll get some life insurance because this is irresponsible of me not to have life insurance so I apply for life insurance every life insurance company turns me down wah wah and then I go holy Lord something's wrong with ya because maybe Mayo Clinic like lost a file or switch the records which the records often happens no I don't go to the Mayo Clinic that often happens no no no no but at the lesser lesser clinics so so anyways I find out that the insurance company is privy to all the doctor's notes and everything oh so that they had me like with severe abdominal pain rectal bleeding half a million what have you been out doing Stephanie oh you're probably really busy with the show but do you ever get to go out and do oh yeah I've been I've been show business for a while and I do the smoky night clubs you know and recently I was at a place at a dude I said hey would you mind going to this hospital you know to to entertain you know the orderlies and the people in the hospital that'd be a nice thing because I don't do a great deal of nice things so happy I'm sorry wait a minute you say you don't know how to dry I don't know yet but I will I'll learn as my child approaches this 13th birthday soon yeah so I go to the I go to the hospital and the guy said youngers that books this gig he tells me you know or you know you just talk to you know you entertained for the orderlies and the staff and the patients you know and I I get there so driving me there and looking for the hospital and everything and we're getting close to the hospital and all of a sudden there's I see you'd like some barbed wire all right and there's guards and everything there's a big giant sign it says State Hospital for the criminally insane so now I'm being frist an idea and everything and I get in and now I'm going I don't even know if these people deserve a show well if you can brighten anyone's day I think I want to brighten the day as somebody just slaughtered their family so so I get in there you know and I'm like all right well I guess I'll do it I'm committed to doing it I go where do I perform like a cafeteria or something guys like no we got a theater theater a big theater in the State Hospital for the criminally here you know it's a beautiful theater you know and it fits us like a thousand people and there's like 40 criminally insane guys and they're doing introduces me you know and and he has a hit like an old bio of me or something and but it was ridiculous introducing me to these guys right it was like ladies and gentlemen you know I'm from evening at the improv and George slaughters comedy club you know Don McDonald you know there's nothing there all muttering criminally insane things walk I've never had this I'm walking toward the mic and I start getting heckled like before like 15 feet for the mic and I hear nice shoes bitch all kinds of same things one guy goes where's the stapler brothers to the mic yet so you get there and then I started talk and I started with my answering machine bit you know I just had and I said I said to them I said well that's the beauty of it I can

Channel: MyTalkShowHeroes

Views: 332,894

Rating: 4.8904109 out of 5

Keywords: mytalkshowheroes

Id: bRf-D-eP9t8

Length: 6min 42sec (402 seconds)

Published: Mon May 09 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/belizeanheat]

Hadn't seen this one before. Awesome, thanks.