Narcissists Have No Limits *NEW*

hey everybody it's shamans sister sin and you're listening to the meditations and more podcasts brought to you by shaman spirits Entercom and little shaman org that's me a little shaman today I wanted to talk to you about the fact that pathologically narcissistic people place no limits on their behavior there is no depth to which they will not think no line they will not cross if they feel they need to do it this is something most people figure out eventually if they stay in any kind of relationship with a narcissist long enough so I thought we could talk about it on the show today the behavior of pathologically narcissistic people can be a huge problem in situations where they must be dealt with it's often childish it's often cruel it's often vindictive and it's usually an overreaction however often just when you think you cannot be surprised or shocked by the lengths they will go to they find a way to do just that by going farther by sinking lower by doing something even you never thought they would do this happens because pathologically narcissistic people place no limits on their behavior everything they do to that end is defensive would you place a limit on self-defense would you say well I know this person's trying to kill me but I can't hurt them because that would be wrong I'll just let them kill me because that's the right thing to do of course you wouldn't say that and they don't do it either the problem is to everybody else the situation does not look that dire at all it's often hard to tell what they're even defending themselves against that's because in these situations they're often defending themselves against an internal threat not anything that's actually happening in reality for example if you call a pathologically narcissistic person out on their behavior even gently even if you say it as nicely as possible it will generally trigger a huge shame reaction within them and this is not regular shame this is a pathological all-encompassing delusional crushing shame that really has nothing to do with reality at all and they are smothered under it it feels life-threatening it is life-threatening actually this shame can topple the fragile fiction that they've created in order to manage their self-worth and get through their life a complete loss of self-worth can result in suicide do only thing the narcissist can do in this situation is strike back in self-defense and try to stop that tidal wave from crushing them they do this in a variety of different ways raging projection gaslighting blame-shifting accusing you of being the abuser or manipulative or otherwise hurting them being violent toward you calling you crazy it's all designed to stop that tidal wave of shame by deflecting the information somehow if you're crazy they don't have to believe you if you're just being cruel and manipulative then what you're saying is not true it has nothing to do with you in reality they aren't really trying to convince you of anything they're trying to convince themselves convincing you or causing you to back off helps with that but you are not the actual target of this behavior it's a desperate scramble to convince themselves that they're not worthless people who are unaware of this dynamic are often very confused and hurt by this behavior they cannot understand why the narcissistic person believes these things or why they are taking things the way that they're taking them they can't understand why the narcissists think these things about them but the truth is they don't not really it's all a reflection of how they feel about themselves you're just a prop in this game it's interesting to know that because narcissists are so divorced from and threatened by their own feelings they may not even be aware of this shame on a conscious level it's simply become a knee-jerk reaction to deflect these things straight away you can tell the shame is there though because of the way that they're acting and often because of the stuff that they say for example if you ask them why they didn't take the garbage out and they scream that you don't love them or that you're saying they're a monster and a horrible person or attack you viciously for even daring to ask the idea that they did not perform perfectly triggers shame the shame triggers thoughts of how bad horrible worthless whatever that they are these thoughts and feelings threaten their fragile self-worth and this threat creates the overreactions that you see it's like a chain of dominoes falling over as soon as they think they're hearing something threatening they push it away and automatically defend against it with both barrels even if it's not actually threatening reality doesn't matter how they feel is what matters this is what feelings equal facts means narcissus believe their feelings or facts more than that they believe their feelings are evidence they believe their feelings are proof of something and it results in this circular reasoning that cannot be argued with I feel threatened therefore you're threatening me the proof that you're threatening me is that I feel threatened I feel tricked therefore you are tricking me the proof that you are tricking me is that I feel tricked I feel hurt therefore you're trying to hurt me the proof that you are trying to hurt me is that I feel hurt I feel your intention was bad therefore it was bad the proof that your intention was bad is that I feel bad it just goes around and around in a circle instead of fitting their emotions to the facts they're fitting the facts to their emotions when you attempt to assert actual facts in this situation it looks to the narcissist like you're trying to talk them out of their feelings to them this feels like manipulation or even attempted brainwashing you are actually making the situation worse inadvertently and convincing them more and more that they're right after all why would you try to talk somebody out of their feelings unless you're lying in trying to manipulate them so that you can get away with your dastardly abuse or whatever wrong thing you're trying to do this often raises the question of whether pathologically narcissistic people understand that abuse is wrong the answer is usually yes they do narcissists that have not decompensated are generally not psychotic they can seem delusional but a careful examination usually reveals magical thinking and/or denial to be the problem rather than any real true delusion they understand the difference between right and wrong very clearly as a matter of fact they certainly talk about how mistreated did they are and they know that abusing people in general is wrong but in their opinion what they're doing is not abuse its self-defense or its justice for the egregious wrong that has been perpetrated against them in their opinion you are the abuser or you are the problem and you deserve everything you get they may never actually say that to you but look at their behavior and see what you think this is why there are no limits to their behavior how can there be in this situation they believe they're in a fight for their lives if the threat is a family member a spouse a co-worker a friend a man a woman a child even their own child it doesn't matter all will be reacted to the same way with absolute malice and rage and don't forget rage does not have to look like screaming and violence it can be disguised as many many things the threat has been identified and now it must be neutralized things will go as far as they need to go in order for this to happen this can be up to and including killing somebody this is how domestic violence murders occur the abuser finally gets to a point where they cannot control the victim for whatever reason and the threat that this loss of control presents to their self-worth is too much to take they kill the victim in a narcissistic rage and out of desperation to regain that control and therefore regain the self-worth narcissistic rage is about shame hurt and fear they would rather the victim be dead than be allowed to get away from their control because the threat to their ego and their self-worth is that big domestic violence is extremely narcissistic in nature as a matter of fact and the tragic murders that occur all too frequently are among the most narcissistic killings that there are this includes all domestic and family violence regardless of whether it involves adults or children it's all narcissistic and it all happens for the same reason there's an old saying that a word to the wise is sufficient this means that if someone is wise they will not have to find out the hard way don't find out the hard way that narcissus have no limits too many people have been hurt already what you already know is enough I hope this clears a few things up for you as always I look forward to your comments questions and suggestions so please keep those coming I took appointments online over the phone via text via messenger via email via Skype so if you're interested in speaking with me one on one you can do that by visiting little shaman org and clicking the book an appointment tab to go ahead and do that I teach workshops a few times a month so if you're interested in signing up for any of those or seeing what we have to offer you can visit little shaman org to do that as well you to the meditations and more podcasts brought to you by shaman spirits enter calm and little shaman org that's meat a little shaman may the Great Spirit bless you and have a wonderful day

Channel: The Little Shaman

Views: 36,660

Rating: 4.9558964 out of 5

Keywords: live authentic, narcissist, narcissistic, histrionic, borderline, personality disorder, cluster b, hoovering, NPD, BPD, HPD, am I a narcissist, the little shaman, healing, shaman sister sin, little shamen, lil shaman, little sharman, sociopath, talk show

Id: 7mRK2f99eF0

Length: 9min 3sec (543 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 20 2019